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1
00:00:12,887 --> 00:00:14,389
{\an8}- * My words are lazy ♪
2
00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:16,307
{\an8}♪ My thoughts are hazy ♪
3
00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:19,436
{\an8}♪ But this is one thing
I'm sure of ♪
4
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:23,064
{\an8}♪ Everybody needs
a best friend ♪
5
00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:25,817
{\an8}♪ I'm happy I'm yours ♪
6
00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:34,951
{\an8}Hey, thanks again
for picking us up, Blaire.
7
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,120
{\an8}Yeah, no problem.
What'd you guys end up seeing?
8
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,204
{\an8}"Jurassic Park."
9
00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:39,372
{\an8}It's, like, the greatest movie
10
00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:40,665
{\an8}I've ever fucking seen,
like, ever.
11
00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:43,376
{\an8}Yeah, Spielberg
actually got real dinosaurs.
12
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:45,503
{\an8}Uh, yeah, I don't think so.
13
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,088
{\an8}- No, he did.
- No, he did. He totally did.
14
00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:48,465
{\an8}There's no other explanation.
15
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:51,676
{\an8}I promise you guys
he did not get real dinosaurs.
16
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:53,470
{\an8}Well, that's-that's a
ignorant thing to say, Blaire,
17
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:54,679
{\an8}when you didn't see the movie.
18
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:57,182
{\an8}Yeah, no, he made "ET"
and he made "Jaws"
19
00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,391
{\an8}and this was his reward.
20
00:00:58,391 --> 00:00:59,684
{\an8}He got real dinosaurs
to play with.
21
00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:00,727
{\an8}It all adds up.
22
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,270
{\an8}My only criticism
of the movie--
23
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:04,606
{\an8}who has open cups of water
in the car?
24
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:05,940
{\an8}Oh yeah, that was weird.
25
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,567
{\an8}Yeah, it's like,
you want a lid for that water?
26
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:09,486
{\an8}Nah, that's OK.
I'm just riding in the jungle.
27
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:11,071
{\an8}Oh, hey, can we stop
by the video store?
28
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,155
{\an8}I want to rent a movie.
29
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:13,990
{\an8}You just saw a movie.
30
00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:15,784
{\an8}Yeah, I know.
And now, we got dinosaur fever.
31
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,744
{\an8}We want to see more movies
with dinosaurs.
32
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,206
{\an8}Fine, but you got to be quick.
I got plans tonight.
33
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:22,957
{\an8}Oh, yeah?
What-what do you got going on?
34
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,459
{\an8}Just stuff.
35
00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:25,752
{\an8}Like college stuff?
36
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,003
{\an8}Yes.
37
00:01:27,003 --> 00:01:28,296
{\an8}- Toga party?
- No.
38
00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:29,589
{\an8}Fucking rush week?
39
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:30,674
{\an8}No.
40
00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:31,758
{\an8}Fucking around
with the new pledges,
41
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,259
{\an8}but then Diane
goes a little too far
42
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:34,636
{\an8}and something horrible happens
43
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,888
{\an8}but then you all kind of
work together to cover it up
44
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:38,098
{\an8}and then the next day,
45
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,391
{\an8}you just go to class
like nothing happened
46
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:40,892
{\an8}but now you're all
bonded for life
47
00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:42,227
{\an8}by, like, a horrible secret,
48
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,770
{\an8}and it seems like
it's all going to be OK
49
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,438
{\an8}but then Rachel
seems a little shaky
50
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,273
{\an8}and you wonder if
she's going to be a problem?
51
00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:49,067
{\an8}What the fuck are
you talking about?
52
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,694
{\an8}I'm just making conversation.
53
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,621
OK, you got five minutes.
Hurry up and pick something.
54
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:02,622
OK.
55
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,470
Hey, Teddy.
- Yeah?
56
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,097
You ever seen a porno?
57
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,433
Yeah, I saw a lot of them
when I was out in Hollywood.
58
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,393
They as awesome
as people say?
59
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,395
They are, Johnny.
60
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:26,646
What are they like?
61
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,440
Well, you turn it on,
you settle in,
62
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:29,774
you get your Kleenex
and your lotion,
63
00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:31,818
and you--
you fucking go to town.
64
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,153
Wow.
65
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,487
Sounds amazing.
66
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:35,864
Yeah, especially afterward
when it's over
67
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,824
and you think about
what you did.
68
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,034
Really?
69
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,368
Yeah,
and you clean yourself up
70
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:41,494
but the porn's still going
on in the background,
71
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,455
but it seems twice as loud now.
72
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:44,956
And even though
you didn't leave the house,
73
00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:47,292
you know you've contributed
to a woman's nightmare.
74
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,752
Oh, and you can't
75
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:50,962
shove that sock in the hamper
deep enough.
76
00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:53,256
Man, every time I come
in here and I see those doors,
77
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,759
it's like it's so mysterious.
78
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:59,179
The private, exclusive
adults-only room.
79
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:19,491
Master John, Master Ted.
80
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:22,243
I'm so delighted
that you've joined us.
81
00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:25,580
Are we thinking of renting
some pornography this evening?
82
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:26,956
Indeed, we are, Lloyd.
83
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:28,416
Splendid, splendid.
84
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:31,211
We have quite a fine selection
for your perusal.
85
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,129
Mm,
well, what would you recommend?
86
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:34,422
Your preference, sir.
87
00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:36,633
Would you like to
feel in charge,
88
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,551
or like an itty, bitty baby?
89
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:41,137
I do believe I would like
to feel like a baby.
90
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:44,265
No one has
ever chosen the other one, sir.
91
00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:45,975
Yes, I would imagine not.
92
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,645
Very good, sir.
93
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:51,272
I'll be right back
with your cream and kerchief.
94
00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:53,024
How's the wife, Lloyd?
95
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:57,195
Well, sir, I'm afraid that
Clara passed away last month.
96
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,239
Oh, Lloyd,
we're so very sorry.
97
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,491
Thank you, sir.
She fought bravely,
98
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,618
but there was nothing
the doctors could do.
99
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,745
And how is your son
taking the loss?
100
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,206
We haven't spoken
since she passed away, sir.
101
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:11,251
I'm afraid that Jeremy blames
me for his mother's death.
102
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,419
How terrible.
103
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,129
Thank heaven I have my work.
104
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:17,340
Elsewise, I'm not sure
I could go on living myself.
105
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:21,344
Well, enjoy your pornography, sir.
106
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:22,929
Jesus.
107
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,515
Your fantasy includes the guy
losing his wife and family?
108
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,599
Well I mean,
the son didn't die,
109
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:27,892
they're just estranged.
110
00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:29,644
I just feel like
111
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,312
by putting all that on him,
it distracts from our story.
112
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,606
Teddy,
you want to go in there?
113
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:34,941
In the back room?
114
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,067
Yeah.
115
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,318
Yeah, don't you
think it's about time
116
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:38,653
I rented my first porno?
117
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,780
Well, I hope
you've gotten everything done
118
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,699
that you need to get done ever.
119
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:43,825
Why?
120
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,035
Oh, you'll see.
Come on, let's do it.
121
00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:49,998
Hey! No one under 18
in the adult section!
122
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,249
Ah, shit.
123
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,959
It's all right, Johnny.
I'll go and get it.
124
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,085
You hear me?
125
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,628
I said no one under 18!
126
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,213
It's all right, buddy.
It's just me.
127
00:04:57,213 --> 00:05:00,633
You came to life in 1985.
That makes you what, eight?
128
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,135
Dude,
it's a little different.
129
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,845
No.
Rules are rules!
130
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,013
Ah, shit.
131
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,392
Wow,
what an amazing selection!
132
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,311
These are all so erotic!
133
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,395
All right,
if you guys are done
134
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,438
humiliating yourselves
in public,
135
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:14,856
can we get out of here?
136
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,358
Uh, Blaire.
137
00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:17,484
I'm not renting you porn.
138
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,818
Oh, come on, you gotta.
139
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:19,652
No, I don't.
140
00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:20,987
Blaire, I'm already 16.
141
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,448
OK, if I was Mormon,
I'd be a grandfather by now.
142
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,408
Blaire, be a pal, huh?
Just this once.
143
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:26,993
I'm basically
an adult already, OK?
144
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,953
I just want to watch
an adult movie.
145
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:31,706
All right, fine.
146
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:33,166
- What?
- What?
147
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,250
I don't have time to
stand here all day and argue.
148
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,710
OK, just go wait in the car.
149
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,212
- Holy shit. Fucking awesome!
- Oh, my God, Blaire!
150
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,630
You're fucking amazing, Blaire!
- Wow, Thank you so much!
151
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:39,964
Blaire,
this is fucking awesome!
152
00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:41,883
Thank you so much!
- Oh, you're the fucking best!
153
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,094
Oh, and whatever
seems grossest to you,
154
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:45,303
that's probably what
we're going to like.
155
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,179
I'm going to count to three.
156
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,389
OK.
157
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,184
All right, you guys.
Enjoy the movie.
158
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,686
Oh, we will.
159
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,604
Oh, and don't be thrown
when you turn it on.
160
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:55,772
It's black and white.
161
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,315
- Even better.
- Yeah, finally.
162
00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,025
We're telling their stories.
- Yeah, love that.
163
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,193
Representation matters.
164
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,111
Glad to hear it.
165
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,614
- OK.
- Here we go.
166
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:07,409
We got at least an hour
before Mom gets back.
167
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,997
All right, porno time!
168
00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:16,167
Whoa.
"The 400 Blows."
169
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,712
Whoever this guy is, he's going
to be a nub by the end of it.
170
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,797
Ah, French fucking.
All right.
171
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,382
Little hairy, but I'm on board.
172
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,345
That's what the fucking's
going to sound like.
173
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:36,771
Jesus, how the fuck long
has this been going on?
174
00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:38,148
You guys enjoying the movie?
175
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,774
No!
It sucks!
176
00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,192
How the fuck is this a porno?
177
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:44,654
Well, I rented you guys
an adult movie,
178
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:47,115
as in a movie for adults.
179
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,742
Oh, you suck.
180
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,869
No, no, but wait, they were
talking about ball sacks.
181
00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:51,911
Balzac.
182
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:53,079
Yeah, exactly.
So where were they?
183
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,914
Are saying
you don't like the film?
184
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,542
No! No, there's no sex
at all in this movie.
185
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,752
Just ennui.
186
00:06:58,752 --> 00:06:59,836
I did you a favor.
187
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:01,546
No, we want to
look at genitals.
188
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,089
Trust me, it's overrated.
189
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,008
Wait, what do you mean?
You watch porn?
190
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:05,884
Uh, no.
191
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,886
But a guy from my school did
192
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,138
mail me a photo of his dick
last semester.
193
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,097
Oh.
194
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,849
He even shot it
in sepia tone.
195
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,809
Wait, so it was, like,
all old-timey?
196
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,061
Yeah.
197
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,812
Like, "This penis
is a Dust Bowl orphan"?
198
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,022
You want the kicker?
199
00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:20,106
It was flaccid.
200
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,441
Wait, so he didn't even
do the work?
201
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,944
Nope. Just a flaccid dick
with a fancy filter.
202
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,030
Well, I guess even
a great director
203
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,531
can't save a bad script.
204
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,283
Anyway, enjoy the movie, guys.
205
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,201
It's a classic.
206
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,622
Fuck this.
207
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:54,808
Everyone,
Matty and I have some news.
208
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,227
Oh, man.
It finally happened.
209
00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:59,312
Look, I'm sure this was
a tough decision to make,
210
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,481
but there's no sense
in postponing the inevitable.
211
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,816
You know what?
212
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:03,817
Not every marriage
is meant to last forever.
213
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,110
And at a certain point,
214
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:06,319
you're just throwing good years
out the bag.
215
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,404
We're going out to dinner.
216
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:08,822
Hey!
That's...
217
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,156
one of my favorite meals.
218
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,616
We're going to go out,
219
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:14,119
we're going to have a nice,
romantic evening tomorrow.
220
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:16,579
Just the two of us
just because.
221
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,248
And we're going to have
a lovely time.
222
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,582
That's right.
223
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,918
My wife deserves a night out
just for being her.
224
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,503
We're going to have a--we're
going to have a great meal,
225
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,629
and it's going to be terrific!
226
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:25,755
- Jesus.
227
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,173
Take it easy.
- What?
228
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,175
I'm fucking happy.
It's going to be a great night.
229
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,011
You know, I wonder if years
from now, we'll find out
230
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,888
this was all just one big,
long heart attack.
231
00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:35,807
Teddy, can I speak to you
in private?
232
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:37,100
OK, this is perfect.
233
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,393
Mom and Dad are going
to be out of the house
234
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:39,436
and Blaire's got school.
235
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,021
There will never
be a better time.
236
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:41,855
For what?
237
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,857
To rent a real porno.
238
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,191
Well, how are we supposed
to do it?
239
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,193
That butt nut in the store
says we got to be 18.
240
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,945
There's a different guy
that comes in at 6:00
241
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,155
for the night shift,
all right?
242
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:51,406
We get fake IDs,
243
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:53,575
we go in after 6:00,
we can rent that porno.
244
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,076
I don't know, Johnny.
It's a risk.
245
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,870
I mean, if we get caught--
- Teddy.
246
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,913
Watching other people
have sex on a TV screen,
247
00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,291
that's just about the
coolest thing a person can do.
248
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,709
It's worth the risk.
249
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,211
By this time tomorrow,
that dream could be ours.
250
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,464
All right.
Let's get some sleep.
251
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,591
We jerk at first light.
- Right.
252
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,855
OK.
Two fake IDs.
253
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:24,939
That'll be 50 bucks.
254
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:27,275
We got that same VCR at home.
255
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,360
I don't give a shit.
256
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,694
Right there.
257
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,488
My whole allowance
for eight weeks.
258
00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:35,116
All right, here we go.
Enjoy your new lives as adults.
259
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,285
Jesus Christ,
how old is this guy?
260
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:38,620
Looks like he's 40.
261
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:40,163
Hey, you'll be fine,
all right?
262
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:42,207
Although Ted's
took a little bit of work.
263
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,584
- I-I can't use this.
- Why not?
264
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,711
It looks like Bob Ross.
265
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,255
It is.
It is Bob--this is Bob Ross.
266
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,423
Well, you're a tough fit, pal.
267
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,008
It was either him
or a pair of UGG boots.
268
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,844
Oh, yeah, laugh it up now,
but pretty soon,
269
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:57,472
I'll be having an orgasm
next to my friend.
270
00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:58,682
Yeah!
271
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:16,825
Wait, wait, not yet!
Not yet!
272
00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,576
That other bastard's
still there.
273
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:21,329
Act like we're just here
to rent a movie.
274
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:22,455
Ah, yes.
275
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,666
This looks like a good,
non-sexual film.
276
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,251
Oh, yes,
I have heard many great,
277
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,294
non-sexual things
about this movie.
278
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:31,339
Peter Travers calls it
"a sex-free laugh riot."
279
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:35,260
"Time" magazine says, "about
as erotic as mom's diarrhea."
280
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:36,970
The fuck?
281
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,471
- What?
- The fuck was that?
282
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,181
What do you mean? I'm just
expanding on your thing.
283
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:41,349
That's not what I was doing.
284
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,685
Improv's all about
"Yes, and..." OK?
285
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:44,602
You can't just shut me down
like that
286
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:45,603
in the middle of a scene.
287
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,355
Don't do "mom's diarrhea"
288
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:49,149
and then tell me how I'm
fucking supposed to do improv.
289
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:52,277
Jesus Christ.
290
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:53,445
- Hey.
- Hey.
291
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:54,487
All right.
292
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,822
I'm out of here.
- Later.
293
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:56,948
Have a good one.
294
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:59,325
All right, let's move.
295
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:02,037
Excuse me. Uh-uh.
Adults only.
296
00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:03,288
Ah, yes. Of course.
297
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,206
How forgetful of us.
- Oh, don't worry.
298
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:07,834
This, uh,
this happens all the time.
299
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,044
I understand your mistake.
300
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:14,382
Oh, my God.
301
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:15,425
What?
302
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,218
You're Bob Ross!
303
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:18,553
Uh, yes.
304
00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:19,888
Yes, I am.
305
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:21,890
Mr. Ross,
I am a huge fan of yours.
306
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,516
Oh, uh, well, thanks.
307
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,101
I love your whole
artistic philosophy.
308
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,562
The way you assign a motion
to every tree and cloud.
309
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,064
Yeah, well, great.
310
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,523
Um, listen, we're going
to head to the adult section
311
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,692
and find ourselves a happy,
little bush.
312
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,486
See you in a bit.
313
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,241
OK.
314
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,368
Wow.
315
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,369
Looks like you're having
quite a marathon.
316
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,871
Uh, yes.
It's for a fundraiser.
317
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,539
Oh, for what?
318
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,999
Jerking...
319
00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:49,959
for Muscular Dystrophy.
320
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,670
Oh, yeah.
JMD, of course.
321
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:54,506
Hey, is there a limit on
how many tapes you can rent?
322
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,383
Not for you, Mr. Ross.
323
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,009
All right, these tapes are
due back Thursday.
324
00:11:58,009 --> 00:12:00,387
There's an $80 fee for any
missing or damaged tapes.
325
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,179
That's a lot of money.
326
00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:02,430
That's a lot of porn.
327
00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:04,933
You know, other people
want to masturbate, too!
328
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,226
Not tonight, pal.
329
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:11,147
OK.
330
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:19,197
Look at this place.
331
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:21,324
Isn't this a magical night?
332
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,451
My sock's got
a big hole in it.
333
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,995
If I tear it off, will you
shove it in your purse?
334
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,580
Oh, look, Matty!
335
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,959
They have a whole man
just for the pepper!
336
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,003
Oh, let's get something
that needs pepper.
337
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:34,254
When I was his age,
338
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,297
I was liberating Nha Trang
hut-by-hut.
339
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:38,967
But yeah, sure.
Pepper boy's good, too.
340
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:42,595
Gosh, everything's
just so fancy-schmancy.
341
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,431
I feel like Academy Awards.
342
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,516
Hi there. How are we doing
tonight, folks?
343
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,226
My sock's bugging me.
344
00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:50,186
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
345
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:51,646
Can I take your order?
346
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,648
Matty, he's so sweet.
347
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:54,816
What's your name?
348
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:56,276
Kevin, ma'am.
349
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,194
Kevin, you go home,
you call your mother,
350
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,280
and you tell her Susan Bennett
from Framingham
351
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,033
said you did an excellent job.
352
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,826
My mother has
advanced Alzheimer's.
353
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,870
She has no idea who I am.
354
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,455
I'll have the crab.
355
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,165
Let me ask
you a question there, Kev-o.
356
00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:12,167
Why is the New York strip
24 bucks
357
00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:14,336
but at Rico's Market,
it's like 8?
358
00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:16,212
Well, supermarket prices
and restaurant prices
359
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,505
are different--
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
360
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:20,133
It's a pretty sweet markup,
16 bucks for heat.
361
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,010
That seem fair to you,
Kev-o?
362
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,636
You could order
the junior steak
363
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,180
off the kids menu for $9.
364
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,724
Now we're getting somewhere.
OK.
365
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,809
See that, Susan?
He blinked first.
366
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,019
Comes with your choice
367
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:33,021
of an activity booklet
or a silly straw.
368
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,105
Both, Kev-o.
369
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:35,565
Pile it high and good!
370
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:36,733
Yes, sir.
371
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,318
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
372
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,362
Hang on.
Do me a favor.
373
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,073
Throw this out for me,
would you?
374
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:51,206
Wouldn't it be fun to be
a waiter on a cruise ship?
375
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:54,376
Because when you're done,
you're already home.
376
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,420
I'm going to tell him that.
377
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:01,383
All right, here we go.
378
00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:03,218
♪ Porno time, porno time ♪
379
00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:04,803
♪ Porno, porno, porno time! ♪
380
00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:06,137
Porno time!
381
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:07,347
- All right, let's put one in.
- All right.
382
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,765
Wait, wait.
Hang on a second.
383
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,767
Before we start, we got
to have some ground rules.
384
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:11,935
What do you mean?
385
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,603
Well, like,
where are you sitting?
386
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:14,646
On the couch.
387
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:15,689
Oh, no, no, no, no.
388
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:17,273
I don't want you in my eyeline.
389
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,651
OK, we could, like,
build a divider or something,
390
00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:21,027
like a pillow fort.
391
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,654
Yeah, I don't know.
Maybe we should watch alone.
392
00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:24,114
Like in shifts.
393
00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:25,073
Yeah, I don't want
to watch porn alone.
394
00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,449
That feels tragic.
395
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,076
All right, then
we'll watch it together.
396
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:29,327
Yeah, well that feels creepy.
397
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:30,704
John, we're watching porn.
398
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,288
It's either going to be creepy
or tragic.
399
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:33,456
Those are the choices.
400
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:35,000
All right,
let's go with creepy.
401
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,668
Which one are we starting with?
402
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:40,171
How is everything?
403
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,048
Oh, it's just wonderful.
404
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,258
Not good, Kev-o.
405
00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:44,926
The word "apple"
ain't in here anywhere.
406
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,803
They allow diagonal, sir.
407
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:50,015
Well, they should put that
in the goddamn directions!
408
00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:51,057
I'll tell the chef.
409
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,267
Yeah.
410
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,561
Matty, you have
to try this crab.
411
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:55,687
No, I'm fine.
412
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,022
Oh, just one bite.
It's so delicious.
413
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,314
I'm fine.
I got my own food.
414
00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,858
- Just a baby bite.
- I don't want any.
415
00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:01,860
- Just try. Just one bite.
- Jesus Christ, Susan.
416
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,111
Why is it always so important
417
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:04,404
that I have some
of what you ordered?
418
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,905
I want you to
have some of this
419
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,323
because I think you'll like it.
420
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:08,450
Well if I wanted
the goddamn crab,
421
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:09,951
I would have ordered
the goddamn crab!
422
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:11,161
But in the car
on the way home,
423
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:12,454
I can say, wasn't it good?
And you'll know.
424
00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:13,955
For fuck's sake!
All right!
425
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,041
- You'll know.
- All right!
426
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:23,757
Oh, goddamn it.
427
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:24,966
Goddamn it!
428
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:26,009
That's better than
what I ordered!
429
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:28,219
You see?
I knew you'd like it.
430
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:29,429
Shit!
431
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,680
I can't wait
to talk about it later.
432
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,350
I wish we were
in the car right now.
433
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:34,684
Here.
434
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:36,811
I got something for you.
435
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:38,271
Oh, Matty, what is it?
436
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,065
Just open it.
Be careful.
437
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:44,986
A nail?
438
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,029
Yeah.
439
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,447
Just before you're finished,
440
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,740
put that in what's left
of your food
441
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,450
and then "find" it.
442
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,910
Whole night will be comped.
443
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,078
Hey, Kev-o!
444
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:54,662
Hi, I'm Brad.
445
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,081
Kevin quit.
446
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:58,583
Oh, how about this one?
447
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,585
"Interracial Butt Fest."
448
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:02,379
Oh, thank you, Dr. King.
449
00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:04,589
"Anal Screwlympics VIII."
450
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,758
I didn't see the first seven.
I'm not going to understand it.
451
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:09,719
Man, this guy's running
his own three-legged race.
452
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:12,180
Oh, let's start with this one.
453
00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:23,692
You sure
that's going to work?
454
00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,235
Yeah, I don't know.
455
00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:26,277
But all I'm
thinking about right
456
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,445
now is my dead relatives.
457
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:28,405
Why?
458
00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:29,489
Well, Father White once said
459
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,032
that if you ever masturbate,
460
00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:33,118
then all your dead relatives
are up in heaven watching you.
461
00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:35,036
How is that heaven?
462
00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:36,538
Boy, you know,
that is a great point.
463
00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:37,747
I mean,
are they up there like,
464
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,124
"Hey, you want to go
to Abe Lincoln's house?"
465
00:16:39,124 --> 00:16:40,250
"Yeah, I'd like to,
466
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:41,376
"but my nephew
is gonna jerk off,
467
00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:42,669
so I got to go watch that."
468
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:43,753
OK, so we're fine.
469
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:54,889
All right.
470
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:57,976
Oh, he's a doctor.
471
00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:00,353
Looks like it's his first day
at a new hospital.
472
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,479
And that's usually the day
473
00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:02,439
you have sex with everyone, right?
474
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:04,482
Oh, it sure is, Johnny.
475
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:05,650
Whoops.
476
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,402
Oh, looks like all
her clothes fell off.
477
00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:10,447
Oh, here we go.
478
00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:12,073
That's a weird thermometer.
479
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,408
Hey, that's funny.
480
00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:14,367
I thought they only took
your temperature like that
481
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,410
when you were a baby.
482
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:16,745
Yeah, that's-that's not a--
483
00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:18,204
He's, like,
pulling it in and out.
484
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,248
It's never going to get
an accurate reading like that.
485
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:24,669
Oh. Well, I guess
her prostate's fine.
486
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,593
- What happened?
- I don't know.
487
00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:32,969
Tape froze.
488
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,810
It's stuck.
The tape's stuck!
489
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,270
Oh, shit!
490
00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:43,646
It's not coming out.
What are we going to do?
491
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,273
All right.
Don't panic, don't panic.
492
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,316
Don't panic?
493
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,442
What the fuck am
I supposed to do?
494
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:48,777
I just need a second
to think.
495
00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:50,278
No, there is a porno stuck
in the fucking VCR!
496
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:51,279
- Just let me fucking think!
- What am I supposed to do?
497
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:52,280
Just let me fucking think!
498
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,783
Let me fucking think!
499
00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:56,993
OK, we're going to have to
take the machine apart.
500
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,453
All right.
501
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,832
I can't even open it.
There's no screws.
502
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:03,875
It's just rivets.
503
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:04,876
OK, I got it, I got it.
504
00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:06,419
We got to swap out VCRs.
505
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,421
Get rid of this one,
replace it with a new one.
506
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,215
How are we going to find
a new VCR tonight?
507
00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:12,133
Even if shit was still open,
we got no money.
508
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,593
And anyways,
this is an older model.
509
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,970
You probably can't even
fucking find it anymore.
510
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,263
Yes, you can.
511
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,807
The AV room at school!
They got one there.
512
00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:20,183
We can go get it tonight.
513
00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:21,976
Going into school
after hours?
514
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:22,977
Won't that look suspicious?
515
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:23,978
There's a game tonight.
516
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,146
The school's open.
517
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,356
We dress like
basketball players
518
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,607
and if anyone sees us,
519
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,192
they'll think we're there
for the game.
520
00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:31,194
If we blow this, everybody's
going to know we're perverts.
521
00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,821
Jesus.
522
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:34,864
All this work, and we didn't
even get to have an orgasm.
523
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,658
Yeah, yeah.
Right.
524
00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:39,994
Yeah, man, that fucking sucks,
both of us...
525
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,371
didn't.
526
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:44,541
I just don't understand it.
527
00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:45,792
I mean, we're not
under construction.
528
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:48,003
Well, you know,
the good news is she saw it.
529
00:18:48,003 --> 00:18:49,295
Otherwise...
530
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,381
She could have died.
531
00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:52,674
Right, Susan?
532
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:54,676
You could have died
if you ate a nail.
533
00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:57,804
I guess I could have died
if I ate a nail.
534
00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:00,223
I am so deeply sorry,
Mrs. Bennett.
535
00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:02,517
Of course,
your entire evening is comped.
536
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:04,185
And if there's anything else
we can do for you,
537
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,228
please tell us.
538
00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:07,522
Yeah, you see that old-timey
539
00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:10,233
diver's helmet you got there
in the window?
540
00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:11,985
I want you to fill it
with shrimp.
541
00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:23,079
Wasn't the crab good?
542
00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:33,214
OK, almost got it.
543
00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:34,799
Ah.
There we go.
544
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:38,053
OK, you stay here, I'm going to
make sure the coast is clear.
545
00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:39,054
OK.
546
00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:43,475
- Ice it up, Hampton.
547
00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:44,517
You'll be fine.
548
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,727
I don't know, Coach.
549
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:47,354
I think I heard it break.
- A little ice.
550
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:49,064
Best thing for it.
551
00:19:49,064 --> 00:19:50,065
Hey, Bennett!
552
00:19:50,065 --> 00:19:51,274
Uh, yeah?
553
00:19:51,274 --> 00:19:52,734
We're a man down.
Get in there!
554
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:54,486
No forfeit! We got a player!
555
00:19:54,486 --> 00:19:55,820
Actually, Coach,
you know I'm not--
556
00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:58,239
Now, Bennett!
We got a game to win!
557
00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:06,331
Ain't so fucking hard.
558
00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:07,874
Let's get the hell out of here.
559
00:20:11,795 --> 00:20:14,464
Jesus.
What a night, huh?
560
00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:18,259
Matty.
561
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:20,387
What you did there was a sin.
562
00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:21,680
You lied to them.
563
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,765
Ah, they lied to us first.
564
00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:25,892
Goddamn steak
doesn't cost 24 bucks.
565
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,310
We're even.
566
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:30,146
And the best part is
I didn't even have to use this.
567
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,731
What is that?
568
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,109
A coupon for one free meal
at Chuck's Steak House.
569
00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:37,987
So all in, we get three free
dinners for the price of one.
570
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:40,323
Is that why you wanted
to go out to dinner?
571
00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:41,825
Because you had a coupon?
572
00:20:41,825 --> 00:20:45,370
I had a beautiful woman
on my arm and I spent no money.
573
00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:46,663
A perfect evening.
574
00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:48,456
And the activity book!
575
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:49,624
Hey, Johnny!
576
00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:53,044
Your old man solved a maze
tonight!
577
00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:54,170
It's Friday night.
578
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:55,171
He's probably
at the basketball game.
579
00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:56,131
You're going up?
580
00:20:56,131 --> 00:20:57,632
Uh, no.
581
00:20:57,632 --> 00:20:59,968
I think I'll stay up
for a while and watch TV.
582
00:20:59,968 --> 00:21:00,969
Suit yourself.
583
00:21:00,969 --> 00:21:02,262
Mwah!
584
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:04,514
I'm going to roll around in bed
and try to burp.
585
00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,165
Oh--
586
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:46,306
- Oh, yeah!
- Yes!
587
00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:49,517
Oh, my God!
588
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:06,951
- Hey.
589
00:22:06,951 --> 00:22:09,329
Knock it off.
590
00:22:15,710 --> 00:22:17,420
You know, I just
realized we probably
591
00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:19,547
could have just dressed like
ourselves going to the game.
592
00:22:19,547 --> 00:22:21,383
Hey, shh!
The lights are out.
593
00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:24,344
Mom and Dad must be asleep.
594
00:22:24,344 --> 00:22:26,930
All right, I'll swap it out.
You make sure no one's coming.
595
00:22:26,930 --> 00:22:28,223
Right.
596
00:22:34,396 --> 00:22:35,730
All right, it's done.
597
00:22:35,730 --> 00:22:38,108
Not quite. We still got to
get that tape out.
598
00:22:45,323 --> 00:22:46,408
The fuck?
599
00:22:46,408 --> 00:22:50,120
- Oh, shit.
- It's gone!
600
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,251
OK, let's-
let's just calm down here.
601
00:22:56,251 --> 00:22:57,919
What do you mean calm down?
The tape's gone!
602
00:22:57,919 --> 00:23:00,505
It can't just be gone.
It's got to be somewhere.
603
00:23:00,505 --> 00:23:02,465
Oh, shit.
604
00:23:02,465 --> 00:23:04,426
Ah shit.
- What, what, what?
605
00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:05,593
Somebody found it.
606
00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:07,137
Somebody found it
and they took it.
607
00:23:07,137 --> 00:23:09,264
Oh, shit.
608
00:23:09,264 --> 00:23:12,434
OK, tomorrow, when everyone's
out, we search the house.
609
00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:13,518
What if we don't find it?
610
00:23:13,518 --> 00:23:14,728
Then we'll have to
611
00:23:14,728 --> 00:23:16,104
rent the same movie
from another store
612
00:23:16,104 --> 00:23:17,731
and return it
to the first store
613
00:23:17,731 --> 00:23:19,607
and we'll have to do that
every three days
614
00:23:19,607 --> 00:23:20,775
until the end of time.
615
00:23:20,775 --> 00:23:22,110
Oh, my God.
616
00:23:22,110 --> 00:23:25,405
Yeah.
Like a Pornzi scheme.
617
00:23:27,073 --> 00:23:30,160
Yeah, we're in trouble, but we
can still have fun with words.
618
00:24:04,486 --> 00:24:07,238
Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.
619
00:24:09,407 --> 00:24:10,742
Hello, Susan.
620
00:24:10,742 --> 00:24:12,952
Oh, dear.
621
00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:15,121
I wish you'd close it
this time.
622
00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:17,665
We're all sinners
in God's eyes.
623
00:24:17,665 --> 00:24:20,919
Well...
624
00:24:20,919 --> 00:24:23,755
I saw a porno, Father.
625
00:24:23,755 --> 00:24:25,382
Oh.
626
00:24:25,382 --> 00:24:28,635
And how did you come
to see this, Susan?
627
00:24:28,635 --> 00:24:31,262
Matty left it in the VCR.
628
00:24:31,262 --> 00:24:33,807
Earlier that night,
we went out to dinner.
629
00:24:33,807 --> 00:24:35,100
And I thought he was
630
00:24:35,100 --> 00:24:37,227
taking me out
for a romantic evening
631
00:24:37,227 --> 00:24:41,147
just the two of us,
so I got all dressed up.
632
00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:43,942
And he didn't even notice.
633
00:24:43,942 --> 00:24:47,404
And then I found out
that he had a coupon.
634
00:24:47,404 --> 00:24:51,741
And that's why
he wanted to go out.
635
00:24:51,741 --> 00:24:54,703
And Father, maybe...
636
00:24:54,703 --> 00:24:57,414
I'm not what he wants anymore.
637
00:24:57,414 --> 00:25:01,418
Susan, I'm sure
it's not as bad as all that.
638
00:25:01,418 --> 00:25:04,921
Husbands and wives
have different sensibilities.
639
00:25:04,921 --> 00:25:06,548
There's a reason
the Lord made it
640
00:25:06,548 --> 00:25:10,135
so that a man can masturbate
and a woman cannot.
641
00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:11,886
W-well, that's true.
642
00:25:11,886 --> 00:25:13,596
And as for what you saw,
643
00:25:13,596 --> 00:25:16,433
God understands that
you didn't seek it out.
644
00:25:16,433 --> 00:25:19,144
And as long as the man
and the woman in the film
645
00:25:19,144 --> 00:25:22,063
are married
and not using birth control,
646
00:25:22,063 --> 00:25:23,940
I don't think you have anything
to worry about.
647
00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:27,944
It wasn't just
a man and a woman.
648
00:25:27,944 --> 00:25:31,614
There-there was another woman, too.
649
00:25:31,614 --> 00:25:33,116
I see.
650
00:25:33,116 --> 00:25:36,161
Although she wasn't
really participating.
651
00:25:36,161 --> 00:25:40,707
She was just sort of
choking the other girl.
652
00:25:40,707 --> 00:25:43,126
Well, Matty is your husband.
653
00:25:43,126 --> 00:25:44,878
And if one of you is bored
in the marriage,
654
00:25:44,878 --> 00:25:46,629
then the other may
wish to consider
655
00:25:46,629 --> 00:25:50,633
how to address that and ways
to make things more exciting.
656
00:25:50,633 --> 00:25:56,056
Remember, nothing is wrong
if you don't enjoy it too much.
657
00:25:56,056 --> 00:25:58,808
Well, I could certainly try.
658
00:25:58,808 --> 00:26:01,394
Good, good.
659
00:26:01,394 --> 00:26:05,440
So the choking,
was she upset by it?
660
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,817
- Or--
- I should probably get home.
661
00:26:07,817 --> 00:26:10,278
All right.
To be continued.
662
00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:20,955
No.
663
00:26:22,874 --> 00:26:24,501
Johnny!
664
00:26:24,501 --> 00:26:25,335
Johnny, I found it.
665
00:26:25,335 --> 00:26:27,253
Oh, fuck.
Thank God.
666
00:26:27,253 --> 00:26:29,089
I know.
I just saved us bucks.
667
00:26:29,089 --> 00:26:31,049
Wait, where was it?
668
00:26:31,049 --> 00:26:32,884
Well, it was, uh--
669
00:26:32,884 --> 00:26:34,678
it was in Susan's
underwear drawer.
670
00:26:34,678 --> 00:26:36,262
What?
671
00:26:36,262 --> 00:26:37,889
Yeah, it was behind the ones
with the pineapples on it.
672
00:26:37,889 --> 00:26:39,391
No, no, no! I don't want to
hear about my mom's underpants.
673
00:26:39,391 --> 00:26:41,518
Oh, but her diarrhea you
bring up at the drop of a hat.
674
00:26:41,518 --> 00:26:44,854
Teddy,
do you know what this means?
675
00:26:44,854 --> 00:26:47,023
Mom found "Genital Hospital."
676
00:26:47,023 --> 00:26:49,025
She knows I watch porn!
677
00:26:49,025 --> 00:26:50,360
Oh, boy.
It looks that way.
678
00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:52,445
I can never face her again.
679
00:26:52,445 --> 00:26:54,572
We have to run away,
never to return.
680
00:26:54,572 --> 00:26:55,990
I see no other option.
681
00:26:55,990 --> 00:26:58,326
I'm going to miss this house.
682
00:26:58,326 --> 00:27:00,286
Goodbye,
water-stained ceilings.
683
00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:03,373
Goodbye, silverware drawer
that doesn't close all the way.
684
00:27:03,373 --> 00:27:05,125
Goodbye,
windows painted shut.
685
00:27:05,125 --> 00:27:07,794
Goodbye, door you have
to lean on to close.
686
00:27:07,794 --> 00:27:10,964
Goodbye, peeling wallpaper
that reveals other wallpaper.
687
00:27:10,964 --> 00:27:13,216
Goodbye, carpet
that's never been dry.
688
00:27:13,216 --> 00:27:15,260
Goodbye,
unpermitted bathroom addition.
689
00:27:15,260 --> 00:27:18,138
Goodbye, lamp that shocks
you every time you touch it.
690
00:27:18,138 --> 00:27:20,640
Goodbye, picture of a pope
from two popes ago.
691
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,560
Goodbye, plastic bag
full of plastic bags.
692
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:26,229
Goodbye, medicine cabinet
with black mold in the corner.
693
00:27:26,229 --> 00:27:27,731
Jesus, let's get
the fuck out of here.
694
00:27:27,731 --> 00:27:29,190
Yeah, no shit.
695
00:27:34,654 --> 00:27:35,697
We sure would like it
696
00:27:35,697 --> 00:27:38,700
if you'd help us
with our problem.
697
00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:40,285
Only problem you've got,
Sheriff,
698
00:27:40,285 --> 00:27:42,412
is a short supply of guts.
699
00:27:42,412 --> 00:27:45,248
You people don't need me.
700
00:27:45,874 --> 00:27:49,044
Look, place at least
a couple good riflemen
701
00:27:49,044 --> 00:27:51,713
on top of that building
up there.
702
00:27:51,713 --> 00:27:53,798
Maybe a couple more
with shotguns down
703
00:27:53,798 --> 00:27:55,258
behind green bags over there.
704
00:27:55,258 --> 00:27:57,552
What you watching?
705
00:27:57,552 --> 00:27:59,596
"High Plains Drifter."
706
00:27:59,596 --> 00:28:01,306
It's Clint Eastwood week.
707
00:28:01,306 --> 00:28:02,515
Oh.
708
00:28:02,515 --> 00:28:03,808
What's it about?
709
00:28:03,808 --> 00:28:05,643
Oh, he's a cowboy.
710
00:28:05,643 --> 00:28:08,063
But at the end,
you realize he's a ghost.
711
00:28:08,063 --> 00:28:09,606
But he can still shoot a gun,
712
00:28:09,606 --> 00:28:12,233
so, you know, not like--
he's not like a real ghost.
713
00:28:12,233 --> 00:28:14,361
Matty, honey,
714
00:28:14,361 --> 00:28:16,321
can we talk about that movie
715
00:28:16,321 --> 00:28:19,491
that you were watching
yesterday?
716
00:28:19,491 --> 00:28:21,284
I can't remember what it was.
717
00:28:21,284 --> 00:28:23,203
They're all kind
of the same movie.
718
00:28:23,203 --> 00:28:26,706
Are you entertained by them?
719
00:28:26,706 --> 00:28:29,793
I'm a guy.
I mean, all guys like 'em.
720
00:28:29,793 --> 00:28:32,712
Is that what you want?
721
00:28:32,712 --> 00:28:34,547
What you see in those movies?
722
00:28:34,547 --> 00:28:37,384
God no.
I just--I just watch 'em.
723
00:28:37,384 --> 00:28:41,262
Well is there one
you like best?
724
00:28:41,262 --> 00:28:43,515
I like
"Every Which Way But Loose."
725
00:28:43,515 --> 00:28:44,599
Oh.
726
00:28:44,599 --> 00:28:46,184
Yeah, that one's crazy.
727
00:28:46,184 --> 00:28:48,395
There's a monkey that
gives everybody the finger.
728
00:28:48,395 --> 00:28:49,979
- Oh.
729
00:28:49,979 --> 00:28:52,524
Yeah, I'd love to see that.
730
00:28:52,524 --> 00:28:53,692
Wow.
731
00:28:54,192 --> 00:28:57,529
It is getting hot in here.
732
00:28:59,572 --> 00:29:01,616
Powerful hot.
733
00:29:01,616 --> 00:29:03,034
We can't run
the air conditioner.
734
00:29:03,034 --> 00:29:04,494
Found a dead bird in it.
735
00:29:04,494 --> 00:29:06,329
Repair guy says we got to wait
till its guts dry out
736
00:29:06,329 --> 00:29:08,123
before we run the unit again.
737
00:29:08,123 --> 00:29:10,792
Well I wouldn't know
about that.
738
00:29:10,792 --> 00:29:12,794
I'm just a girl.
739
00:29:38,153 --> 00:29:40,113
What are you doing?
740
00:29:40,113 --> 00:29:41,698
I wanted a banana.
741
00:29:41,698 --> 00:29:42,741
Well, then eat it.
742
00:29:42,741 --> 00:29:44,200
Why the hell are you
staring at me?
743
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,202
Because...
744
00:29:46,202 --> 00:29:48,455
I've been bad.
745
00:29:48,455 --> 00:29:49,831
What do you mean
you've been bad?
746
00:29:49,831 --> 00:29:50,874
You--
747
00:29:50,874 --> 00:29:52,042
oh, Jesus Christ, Susan.
748
00:29:52,042 --> 00:29:53,543
Is that the last one?
749
00:29:53,543 --> 00:29:54,794
God damn it!
750
00:29:54,794 --> 00:29:57,172
Now what am I supposed
to have for my snack?
751
00:29:59,174 --> 00:30:00,383
Oh!
Oh great, Susan!
752
00:30:00,383 --> 00:30:02,135
A Pringles can with one left!
753
00:30:02,135 --> 00:30:03,970
That'll be satisfying!
754
00:30:03,970 --> 00:30:05,055
Ow!
755
00:30:05,055 --> 00:30:06,806
Fucking lamp shocked me again!
756
00:30:10,518 --> 00:30:11,728
Yeah?
757
00:30:14,022 --> 00:30:15,398
Aunt Suze, what's up?
758
00:30:15,398 --> 00:30:17,442
Blaire, can I talk to you
for a minute?
759
00:30:17,442 --> 00:30:19,569
Sure.
Yeah, come on in.
760
00:30:22,989 --> 00:30:26,743
What, uh, what's the matter?
761
00:30:26,743 --> 00:30:28,495
Well...
762
00:30:28,495 --> 00:30:32,791
last night,
Matty and I went out to dinner.
763
00:30:32,791 --> 00:30:34,834
I got all dressed up.
764
00:30:34,834 --> 00:30:39,089
I rubbed on a Clinique sampler
from Redbook.
765
00:30:39,089 --> 00:30:41,591
I don't even think he noticed.
766
00:30:41,591 --> 00:30:47,263
And then when we got home,
I turned on the TV.
767
00:30:47,263 --> 00:30:51,643
And I found...
768
00:30:51,643 --> 00:30:54,187
What?
769
00:30:54,187 --> 00:30:57,190
A porn.
770
00:30:57,190 --> 00:30:58,441
Oh.
771
00:30:58,441 --> 00:31:01,945
I think Matty's
been watching porns.
772
00:31:01,945 --> 00:31:03,154
Right.
773
00:31:03,154 --> 00:31:05,782
Do you think maybe he--
774
00:31:05,782 --> 00:31:08,827
doesn't think
I'm exciting anymore?
775
00:31:08,827 --> 00:31:10,453
Am I a disappointment?
776
00:31:10,453 --> 00:31:12,330
No, absolutely not,
Aunt Suze.
777
00:31:12,330 --> 00:31:13,790
Listen to me.
778
00:31:13,790 --> 00:31:17,377
You are probably the most
wonderful person that I know.
779
00:31:17,377 --> 00:31:20,255
But if that's what he wants,
what can I do?
780
00:31:20,255 --> 00:31:22,298
I don't want to have to choke
other women.
781
00:31:22,298 --> 00:31:23,633
Yeah,
I don't think you need to.
782
00:31:23,633 --> 00:31:25,719
But I'll do it
if that's what Matty wants.
783
00:31:25,719 --> 00:31:26,678
No, let's not go
down that route.
784
00:31:26,678 --> 00:31:28,471
I'll do what those women did.
785
00:31:28,471 --> 00:31:29,931
I really don't think
that's necessary.
786
00:31:29,931 --> 00:31:32,308
I-I-I'll even do what
Dr. Sausage did in that movie.
787
00:31:32,308 --> 00:31:33,309
I'll do it.
- OK--
788
00:31:33,309 --> 00:31:34,978
- I'll do it.
- Stop.
789
00:31:34,978 --> 00:31:36,146
Look.
790
00:31:36,146 --> 00:31:40,108
This is difficult for me
to say, but, um,
791
00:31:40,108 --> 00:31:44,070
the tape you found...
792
00:31:44,070 --> 00:31:46,072
it's mine.
793
00:31:46,072 --> 00:31:47,073
What?
794
00:31:47,073 --> 00:31:48,283
I'm sorry.
795
00:31:48,283 --> 00:31:49,909
I apologize
for being so careless.
796
00:31:49,909 --> 00:31:52,162
I never should have left it
in the VCR.
797
00:31:52,162 --> 00:31:53,163
It was stupid.
798
00:31:53,163 --> 00:31:54,748
So it's not Matty's?
799
00:31:54,748 --> 00:31:56,249
No, it's not.
800
00:31:57,459 --> 00:32:01,338
Oh!
Oh, my God!
801
00:32:01,338 --> 00:32:03,882
Oh, I'm so relieved!
- Good.
802
00:32:03,882 --> 00:32:07,177
I thought Matty was
bored with me.
803
00:32:07,177 --> 00:32:08,636
Oh, Blaire.
804
00:32:08,636 --> 00:32:10,972
I--ew.
805
00:32:10,972 --> 00:32:13,099
Why did you have a porn?
806
00:32:13,099 --> 00:32:15,226
I would say a porn-o.
807
00:32:15,226 --> 00:32:16,978
Just hits the ear better.
808
00:32:16,978 --> 00:32:18,938
Why were you watching porn-o?
809
00:32:18,938 --> 00:32:22,525
Well, OK, in that context,
you'd say porn.
810
00:32:22,525 --> 00:32:24,986
See, if there's an article
in front of it like an "a"
811
00:32:24,986 --> 00:32:27,238
or a "the," it's a porno.
812
00:32:27,238 --> 00:32:30,742
But if not, it's just porn.
813
00:32:31,451 --> 00:32:33,370
I'm just not going
to say it anymore.
814
00:32:33,370 --> 00:32:37,999
OK. Look, to answer
your question, it...
815
00:32:37,999 --> 00:32:40,251
it was a sorority thing.
816
00:32:40,251 --> 00:32:41,628
We rented a dirty movie.
817
00:32:41,628 --> 00:32:43,922
It was--
you know how sororities are.
818
00:32:43,922 --> 00:32:45,632
It's like a prank.
819
00:32:45,632 --> 00:32:48,301
Oh!
Oh, it was a prank.
820
00:32:48,301 --> 00:32:50,512
- Yeah.
- Oh!
821
00:32:50,512 --> 00:32:53,598
So Matty and I are just fine!
822
00:32:53,598 --> 00:32:56,351
I would say this one thing
isn't a problem.
823
00:32:56,351 --> 00:32:59,229
But it's--
824
00:32:59,229 --> 00:33:01,523
well, I'd call it
a work in progress.
825
00:33:01,523 --> 00:33:05,819
And for the record,
Aunt Suze,
826
00:33:05,819 --> 00:33:09,864
I don't think anybody
ever could be bored with you.
827
00:33:09,864 --> 00:33:12,659
Matty is not great
at communication.
828
00:33:12,659 --> 00:33:15,745
But unless he's
completely blind or insane,
829
00:33:15,745 --> 00:33:19,249
I bet he still loves you
a whole lot.
830
00:33:19,249 --> 00:33:21,209
- Come here.
- Mm.
831
00:33:21,209 --> 00:33:22,419
Aw.
832
00:33:25,839 --> 00:33:29,801
I hope one day,
you'll find your Matty.
833
00:33:29,801 --> 00:33:32,595
Oh, that's--
834
00:33:32,595 --> 00:33:33,930
I'm going to be just fine.
835
00:33:33,930 --> 00:33:34,889
Let's pray.
836
00:33:53,825 --> 00:33:55,410
Where are we going to go,
Teddy?
837
00:33:55,410 --> 00:33:57,120
I was thinking Saudi Arabia.
838
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:59,956
I hear nobody's ashamed
to masturbate there.
839
00:33:59,956 --> 00:34:01,833
What do you think they're
doing back at the house?
840
00:34:01,833 --> 00:34:05,253
Probably the same thing
we're doing but with a table.
841
00:34:05,253 --> 00:34:06,796
God.
842
00:34:06,796 --> 00:34:09,758
We watched six seconds of porn
and it ruined our lives.
843
00:34:09,758 --> 00:34:11,468
Relax, losers.
844
00:34:11,468 --> 00:34:13,636
Your lives aren't ruined.
845
00:34:13,636 --> 00:34:14,429
Yet.
846
00:34:14,429 --> 00:34:15,764
Blaire.
847
00:34:15,764 --> 00:34:17,307
Oh, you're a sight
for sore eyes, you are.
848
00:34:17,307 --> 00:34:19,059
Good Lord,
look how you've grown.
849
00:34:19,059 --> 00:34:20,185
How'd you find us?
850
00:34:20,185 --> 00:34:22,937
Uh, harmonica music
really carries.
851
00:34:22,937 --> 00:34:25,982
Listen, uh, you don't have
to worry about the porno,
852
00:34:25,982 --> 00:34:26,983
all right?
853
00:34:26,983 --> 00:34:28,234
I took the heat for you.
854
00:34:28,234 --> 00:34:29,569
What?
855
00:34:29,569 --> 00:34:31,946
I told Aunt Suze
that the tape was mine.
856
00:34:31,946 --> 00:34:33,031
You can come home now.
857
00:34:33,031 --> 00:34:36,659
Blaire, you--
you did that for us?
858
00:34:36,659 --> 00:34:39,746
Uh, no.
I really did it for Susan.
859
00:34:39,746 --> 00:34:41,915
She was upset enough because
she thought it was Matty's.
860
00:34:41,915 --> 00:34:44,834
If she found out it was yours,
she'd probably cry for a year.
861
00:34:44,834 --> 00:34:47,712
Jesus Christ, Blaire.
Thank you so much.
862
00:34:47,712 --> 00:34:48,588
Yeah.
863
00:34:48,588 --> 00:34:50,006
We really owe you big time.
864
00:34:50,006 --> 00:34:51,466
Oh, yeah, you do.
865
00:34:51,466 --> 00:34:53,677
Now, put out your dumb fire
and let's get out of here.
866
00:34:53,677 --> 00:34:55,970
I love that plan.
Because you know what?
867
00:34:55,970 --> 00:34:57,681
We got a porno to return.
868
00:34:57,681 --> 00:34:59,182
And I'll tell you one thing.
869
00:34:59,182 --> 00:35:01,017
I would never watch porn again.
870
00:35:01,017 --> 00:35:03,311
Even if it was everywhere,
all the time.
871
00:35:03,311 --> 00:35:05,522
Even if I had, like, a weird,
little device in my pocket
872
00:35:05,522 --> 00:35:06,856
that would give it to me
whenever I wanted
873
00:35:06,856 --> 00:35:08,608
so I could jerk off
at a moment's notice.
874
00:35:08,608 --> 00:35:10,443
No.
Never again.
875
00:35:12,862 --> 00:35:15,615
{\an8}narrator:
John kept his promise.
876
00:35:15,615 --> 00:35:17,450
{\an8}For the next two years.
877
00:35:17,450 --> 00:35:21,413
{\an8}Then, within five minutes
of discovering the internet,
878
00:35:21,413 --> 00:35:23,748
{\an8}he pulled on his penis
so hard,
879
00:35:23,748 --> 00:35:26,126
{\an8}it damn near came off.
880
00:35:26,126 --> 00:35:27,210
{\an8}That didn't deter him
881
00:35:27,210 --> 00:35:29,838
{\an8}from masturbating
four more times
882
00:35:29,838 --> 00:35:32,382
{\an8}before going
to a local urgent care,
883
00:35:32,382 --> 00:35:33,800
{\an8}where he waited eight hours
884
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,177
{\an8}in line behind dozens
of other men
885
00:35:36,177 --> 00:35:38,763
{\an8}who had also nearly
pulled their penises off
886
00:35:38,763 --> 00:35:41,057
{\an8}after discovering
the internet.
887
00:35:41,057 --> 00:35:44,185
{\an8}And now, today,
anyone you talk to
888
00:35:44,185 --> 00:35:47,397
{\an8}has jerked off
within the last 20 minutes.
889
00:35:47,397 --> 00:35:49,190
{\an8}This is Ian McKellen,
890
00:35:49,190 --> 00:35:53,236
{\an8}reminding you:
don't shake anyone's hand.
891
00:35:53,236 --> 00:35:55,238
{\an8}Good night.
892
00:36:04,456 --> 00:36:08,835
♪ Oh, you've got a headful
of someone dreadful ♪
893
00:36:08,835 --> 00:36:12,088
♪ And yet, alas,
that someone adores you ♪
894
00:36:13,631 --> 00:36:17,385
♪ Everybody needs
a best friend ♪
895
00:36:17,385 --> 00:36:19,888
♪ I'm happy I'm yours ♪
896
00:36:19,888 --> 00:36:23,391
♪ I'm just a clown ♪
897
00:36:23,391 --> 00:36:26,853
♪ And I'll bring you down ♪
898
00:36:26,853 --> 00:36:32,942
♪ But you just don't care
'cause your ♪
899
00:36:32,942 --> 00:36:34,986
♪ Best friend is me ♪
63731
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