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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:51,701 --> 00:01:55,603 (Talking from outside the room) 2 00:02:01,178 --> 00:02:03,009 (Talking continues...) 3 00:02:07,450 --> 00:02:09,853 I got a test in the morning... 4 00:02:09,853 --> 00:02:13,056 ...hit the tendon. You gotta hit the tendon. 5 00:02:13,056 --> 00:02:16,092 Could you freaks keep it down? 6 00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:18,895 Uh, yeah, sure. 7 00:02:18,895 --> 00:02:20,997 I have a huge test in the morning and a book to finish... 8 00:02:20,997 --> 00:02:25,991 ...and I can't concentrate with you guys jerking off all night. Knock it off. 9 00:02:28,872 --> 00:02:31,397 Come on, let's go guys. 10 00:02:41,218 --> 00:02:45,119 That was such a good movie. 11 00:02:45,255 --> 00:02:48,124 That's easily the best anime thing I've ever seen in my life. 12 00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:52,025 He had to have, like, a dex of 20 or something. 13 00:02:56,032 --> 00:02:58,268 That's true, that's true. I completely agree. 14 00:02:58,268 --> 00:03:02,170 You know what I'd like to see? A fight between that guy and that dark elf with the scimitars. 15 00:03:02,405 --> 00:03:06,307 OOOHH! Totally, totally. That'd be awesome. 16 00:03:07,944 --> 00:03:10,914 So, where's Mark? 17 00:03:10,914 --> 00:03:12,515 Uh, oh, uh, he had uh, he's going to be late... 18 00:03:12,515 --> 00:03:14,316 ...he had a paper or something. 19 00:03:14,317 --> 00:03:19,489 No. Actually, I think he's going out with Molly tonight. 20 00:03:19,489 --> 00:03:23,493 What? Oh man! (Everyone grumbling) 21 00:03:23,493 --> 00:03:27,497 Dude, what's up with that? People with girlfriends, man. 22 00:03:27,497 --> 00:03:31,501 Everyone have their character sheets? Right here, definitely. 23 00:03:31,501 --> 00:03:33,536 Everyone got their dice? 24 00:03:33,536 --> 00:03:37,267 I got your dice right here. Sweet. 25 00:03:38,008 --> 00:03:40,877 You're going to be needing those tonight, ya know? 26 00:03:40,877 --> 00:03:44,848 Oh yeah, that means battles guys! Big battles. Oh yeah. 27 00:03:44,848 --> 00:03:48,852 Uh huh. I might finally get to use that sword of ogre decapitation. 28 00:03:48,852 --> 00:03:51,554 Djahhh, that'd be awesome. I'd love it. 29 00:03:51,554 --> 00:03:53,890 We're starting here... 30 00:03:53,890 --> 00:03:56,825 ...everyone remember where we left off? Oh yeah. 31 00:03:57,494 --> 00:04:02,488 It was at the battle of Black Fields where Rogar's blood brother was killed. 32 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:07,101 NOOOooo!! 33 00:04:08,471 --> 00:04:10,573 No, guys, that was last week. 34 00:04:10,573 --> 00:04:13,576 No, I remember. We were at the town of Westhaven... 35 00:04:13,576 --> 00:04:16,476 ...um, Nimble's sister got murdered outside the temple. 36 00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:21,716 Why?! WHY?!?! 37 00:04:21,817 --> 00:04:24,587 Dude, we're way past there. 38 00:04:24,587 --> 00:04:26,990 Huh? We are? 39 00:04:26,990 --> 00:04:30,226 Oh, I don't remember that. 40 00:04:30,226 --> 00:04:32,429 You ended up outside Dragonmead, don't you remember? 41 00:04:32,429 --> 00:04:34,964 The inn? The note pinned to the door. 42 00:04:34,964 --> 00:04:37,267 Oh, the note! Remember that? 43 00:04:37,267 --> 00:04:39,602 With the dagger in the door and the note hanging down. I wrote that down. 44 00:04:39,602 --> 00:04:41,804 I said that the first time. 45 00:04:41,805 --> 00:04:45,332 Well, let's just read that again to recap that, shall we? 46 00:04:45,542 --> 00:04:48,477 From the hand of his Majesty, Orlando the reasonably just, 47 00:04:48,478 --> 00:04:51,281 on the eve of Haversford in the Year of ill Fortune. 48 00:04:51,281 --> 00:04:55,752 I fear for the life of the princess, my only daughter and heiress to my kingdom. 49 00:04:55,752 --> 00:05:01,591 She was kidnapped from the royal gardens and taken south by the black priests in service of... 50 00:05:01,591 --> 00:05:02,826 'The Shadow'. 51 00:05:02,826 --> 00:05:04,761 (Shocked) The Shadow? (Scared) The Shadow? 52 00:05:04,761 --> 00:05:07,059 (Resolved) The Shadow. 53 00:05:08,164 --> 00:05:12,068 He has threatened to throw her into the pit of slow and horribly painful death, 54 00:05:12,068 --> 00:05:14,229 unless I surrender the throne. 55 00:05:14,337 --> 00:05:17,640 You are the princess's only hope, you brave adventurers... 56 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:22,277 ...Rogar the Barbarian, warrior prince of the icewalker tribe... 57 00:05:22,278 --> 00:05:26,180 ...Newmoon, elven archer and ambassador to the realms of man... 58 00:05:26,516 --> 00:05:31,920 ...Nimble, Master Agent of the Thieves Guild, only recently paroled by royal decree... 59 00:05:32,355 --> 00:05:36,326 ...and Ambrose, journeyman mage of the West Haven Wizards' School. 60 00:05:36,326 --> 00:05:38,361 Dude, don't forget Mark! 61 00:05:38,361 --> 00:05:40,330 What? Oh right... 62 00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:44,032 Mark the Red, last of the Blood-Fire Berserkers. 63 00:05:44,033 --> 00:05:47,935 Only you can save the princess, succeed and you may name your reward. 64 00:05:48,838 --> 00:05:52,740 A noble quest, let us free the wench and slay her captor. 65 00:05:53,710 --> 00:05:57,611 Name our reward, access to the kingdom treasury of course. 66 00:05:57,747 --> 00:06:01,084 We should speak with the folk in the commons first. 67 00:06:01,084 --> 00:06:03,353 They may know what awaits us to the South. 68 00:06:03,353 --> 00:06:05,855 I agree with the mage. 69 00:06:05,855 --> 00:06:07,757 To the commons. 70 00:06:07,757 --> 00:06:11,728 Alright. The common room is full of travelers and a few town folk. 71 00:06:11,728 --> 00:06:15,098 You find a table near the fireplace. What do you do? 72 00:06:15,098 --> 00:06:17,623 Rogar orders the strongest drink they have. 73 00:06:18,501 --> 00:06:22,138 The barmaid warns you, 'Dwarven ale is not for the weak of stomach'. 74 00:06:22,138 --> 00:06:24,140 Yeah, you might want to pass on that. 75 00:06:24,140 --> 00:06:28,111 Relax, Rogars stamina is 18, there's only a 10% chance he'll be affected. 76 00:06:28,111 --> 00:06:29,738 Then you're really going to risk it? 77 00:06:30,013 --> 00:06:30,813 Yeah. 78 00:06:30,814 --> 00:06:33,282 Ok. Roll your stamina. 79 00:06:42,692 --> 00:06:44,660 You fail. 80 00:06:47,397 --> 00:06:49,524 The barmaid warned him. 81 00:06:49,866 --> 00:06:53,063 It would seem that our barbarian friend cannot handle his ale. 82 00:06:53,169 --> 00:06:58,163 Ha! It is too early for ale, but the time is always right for some wine. 83 00:06:58,608 --> 00:07:01,441 I'll be back with four, make that three, glasses. 84 00:07:02,745 --> 00:07:06,374 But you haven't any money. However shall you pay? 85 00:07:07,884 --> 00:07:10,648 Leave that up to me. 86 00:07:13,723 --> 00:07:16,593 There's only one patron at the bar, and he doesn't notice you. 87 00:07:16,593 --> 00:07:18,094 I pick his pocket. 88 00:07:18,094 --> 00:07:20,187 Roll it. 89 00:07:23,233 --> 00:07:26,202 Ha ha, got it! 90 00:07:28,238 --> 00:07:30,907 Does he have any, uh, weapons or anything? 91 00:07:30,907 --> 00:07:32,741 Yeah, he's got a knife. 92 00:07:32,742 --> 00:07:34,277 I take that too. 93 00:07:34,277 --> 00:07:36,643 Ok. Roll it. 94 00:07:36,846 --> 00:07:40,748 Ha Ha. Cool, I'm kicking ass! 95 00:07:41,551 --> 00:07:43,253 I want to steal his pants. 96 00:07:43,253 --> 00:07:45,288 You're not serious. 97 00:07:45,288 --> 00:07:46,789 I am serious. 98 00:07:46,789 --> 00:07:48,825 Why do you want his pants? 99 00:07:48,825 --> 00:07:52,192 I don't want them. I just want to see if I can steal them. 100 00:07:52,595 --> 00:07:56,656 Fine go ahead, but you suffer a -8 penalty for difficulty. 101 00:07:59,035 --> 00:08:00,730 I don't believe it. 102 00:08:05,174 --> 00:08:07,409 Are you quite finished? 103 00:08:07,410 --> 00:08:11,312 Yeah. Oh, and I order some wine from the innkeeper. 104 00:08:11,581 --> 00:08:13,950 Dude, I can't believe you took his pants! 105 00:08:13,950 --> 00:08:16,152 I know. Lucky roll. 106 00:08:16,152 --> 00:08:17,753 Dude, am I still unconscious? 107 00:08:17,754 --> 00:08:18,755 Yeah. 108 00:08:18,755 --> 00:08:22,725 Alright. I look around the common room. Do I recognize anyone? 109 00:08:22,725 --> 00:08:24,215 Let's find out. 110 00:08:26,029 --> 00:08:29,599 He's about 7 feet tall and he's built like a lighthouse. 111 00:08:29,599 --> 00:08:31,801 Not good! Oh Shit. 112 00:08:31,801 --> 00:08:35,703 He's got a nasty scar on his cheek, and an ugly club in his hand. 113 00:08:37,039 --> 00:08:41,807 it's Hunk, the mercenary you guys left for dead outside the Castle of Almost Certain Doom. 114 00:08:42,245 --> 00:08:46,147 He recognizes you instantly, snarls, and lumbers over to your table. 115 00:08:50,153 --> 00:08:53,790 (Norwegian accent) You bastards! Tought I vas dead, did not you? 116 00:08:53,790 --> 00:08:59,596 Vell, I'm not, but soon yur going to be, because I'm going to kill you dead, d'yah hear me? 117 00:08:59,596 --> 00:09:01,894 D-E-D, Dead! 118 00:09:01,998 --> 00:09:03,431 Well, shit! What do we do? 119 00:09:03,566 --> 00:09:04,968 Am I still unconscious? 120 00:09:04,968 --> 00:09:06,697 Oh yeah. 121 00:09:07,837 --> 00:09:09,906 Did Hunk see Nimble at the bar? 122 00:09:09,906 --> 00:09:11,140 What? 123 00:09:11,140 --> 00:09:14,410 Nimble was at the bar when Hunk showed up. Did he see him at the bar? 124 00:09:14,410 --> 00:09:16,377 Let's check. 125 00:09:18,881 --> 00:09:20,016 Nope. 126 00:09:20,016 --> 00:09:23,918 Ah. Booyah, I sneak into backstab position. 127 00:09:24,287 --> 00:09:27,657 You're going to attack him? What good is that going to do? 128 00:09:27,657 --> 00:09:31,491 Duh! I do triple damage when I attack from behind! 129 00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:36,430 I sneak into place behind Hunk and unsheathe my dagger. 130 00:09:36,633 --> 00:09:39,124 Just your dagger? 131 00:09:39,936 --> 00:09:43,539 Hm. Good point. I'll use my sword. 132 00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:47,441 Even with triple damage, it's not going to kill a guy Hunk's size. 133 00:09:49,779 --> 00:09:53,510 Wait, I have a better idea! 134 00:10:12,268 --> 00:10:15,071 You're going to backstab him with a ballista? 135 00:10:15,071 --> 00:10:16,939 Uh huh. 136 00:10:16,939 --> 00:10:18,872 With a fucking siege weapon? 137 00:10:19,308 --> 00:10:20,502 Uh huh. 138 00:10:21,177 --> 00:10:24,580 Ok. There's got to be a rule against this. 139 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:26,582 There probably is a rule though. 140 00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:30,253 I can totally picture this guys. (makes squeaking sounds) You know wheeling it in, 141 00:10:30,253 --> 00:10:35,258 and then cranking it up. Oh...dude! It's too much. 142 00:10:35,258 --> 00:10:37,493 Well, there's nothing against it in the rules. 143 00:10:37,493 --> 00:10:39,461 Yeah. 144 00:10:42,498 --> 00:10:45,797 I can't believe I'm doing this... 145 00:10:53,876 --> 00:10:57,209 Well, that's 264 points of damage. 146 00:10:59,015 --> 00:11:01,617 You splatter Hunk all over the common room. 147 00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:03,685 The patrons shriek in horror and run out of the inn, 148 00:11:03,686 --> 00:11:05,588 occasionally slipping on blood and entrails. 149 00:11:05,588 --> 00:11:08,819 You're now alone in a room that looks like a vat of beef stroganoff exploded in it. 150 00:11:13,796 --> 00:11:15,821 Cool. 151 00:11:54,937 --> 00:11:58,941 You leave the inn and town and you head south for most of the day... 152 00:11:58,941 --> 00:12:00,533 ...and you spend the night in a forest clearing. 153 00:12:00,643 --> 00:12:02,612 Ok, who wants first watch? 154 00:12:02,612 --> 00:12:04,180 Am I awake now? 155 00:12:04,180 --> 00:12:06,048 You're a little hung over, but you're awake. 156 00:12:06,048 --> 00:12:07,140 Ok. I take first watch. 157 00:12:21,297 --> 00:12:23,566 Do I see anything strange that night? 158 00:12:23,566 --> 00:12:25,158 As a matter of fact, you do. 159 00:12:37,013 --> 00:12:39,415 I ready my sword. 160 00:12:39,415 --> 00:12:41,083 I draw my dagger. 161 00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:42,819 You're still asleep. 162 00:12:42,819 --> 00:12:44,218 Oh yeah. 163 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:50,193 Who are you? Speak or I will smite thee with my mighty blade. 164 00:12:50,193 --> 00:12:52,261 Smite thee with my mighty blade? 165 00:12:52,261 --> 00:12:53,396 Shut up! 166 00:12:53,396 --> 00:12:57,233 Help me, please save me. 167 00:12:57,233 --> 00:12:59,929 I am imprisoned in the south. 168 00:13:00,403 --> 00:13:02,071 She wishes us to free her. 169 00:13:02,071 --> 00:13:04,507 Dude, you're still asleep. 170 00:13:04,507 --> 00:13:05,574 Me too? 171 00:13:05,575 --> 00:13:07,042 Yeah. 172 00:13:08,845 --> 00:13:13,646 Free you? Where are you mysterious lady? Who holds you prisoner? 173 00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:15,885 The Shadow. 174 00:13:15,885 --> 00:13:17,987 (Shocked) The Shadow? (Scared) The Shadow? 175 00:13:17,987 --> 00:13:19,954 (Resolved) The Shadow. 176 00:13:20,056 --> 00:13:21,791 Fear not, noble lady. 177 00:13:21,791 --> 00:13:23,526 We shall free you. 178 00:13:23,526 --> 00:13:27,363 By morning you will again sup the sweet air of freedom. 179 00:13:27,363 --> 00:13:28,931 Sup the sweet air of freedom? 180 00:13:28,931 --> 00:13:29,765 Shut up! 181 00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:31,699 You guys are all asleep! 182 00:13:33,102 --> 00:13:34,704 Not you Rogar. 183 00:13:34,704 --> 00:13:36,535 Oh...sorry. 184 00:13:37,006 --> 00:13:39,709 To the south, come to the south... 185 00:13:39,709 --> 00:13:43,679 Past the river through the ruins of the ancient castle... 186 00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:47,615 Free me. Please. To the south. 187 00:13:57,593 --> 00:13:59,962 You journey southward for several days. 188 00:13:59,962 --> 00:14:03,132 You brave dark forests, cross vast plains. 189 00:14:03,132 --> 00:14:06,268 You climb steep cliffs and wind through mountain trails. 190 00:14:06,269 --> 00:14:09,572 Day after day, the four of you push farther south. 191 00:14:09,572 --> 00:14:11,507 Uh, the five of us. 192 00:14:11,507 --> 00:14:13,098 Right. 193 00:14:16,846 --> 00:14:20,282 After a week's journey, you come to a river that blocks your path. 194 00:15:06,929 --> 00:15:07,930 Dude. 195 00:15:07,930 --> 00:15:09,191 What. 196 00:15:09,465 --> 00:15:10,967 Aren't you forgetting something? 197 00:15:10,967 --> 00:15:11,834 Like what? 198 00:15:11,834 --> 00:15:14,236 Like your character's paralyzing fear of water, perhaps? 199 00:15:14,236 --> 00:15:18,104 Oh yeah, that's right. 200 00:15:24,246 --> 00:15:27,616 There's no bridge or boat, but it is shallow enough to wade across. 201 00:15:27,616 --> 00:15:29,585 I'm not going near any water. 202 00:15:29,585 --> 00:15:31,954 Well, we'll have to knock him out. 203 00:15:31,954 --> 00:15:33,089 What? 204 00:15:33,089 --> 00:15:34,613 I punch him in the head. 205 00:15:34,991 --> 00:15:35,958 Roll 'em. 206 00:15:38,427 --> 00:15:41,230 Ambrose takes 2 damage, but he's not out. 207 00:15:41,230 --> 00:15:44,200 Here, let me try. I'm a better fighter. 208 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:49,729 Let's see, where's my good die? Uh, here it is. Come on 20. 209 00:15:53,576 --> 00:15:55,044 Am I unconscious yet? 210 00:15:55,044 --> 00:15:56,978 No, but you took another 4 damage. 211 00:15:59,982 --> 00:16:03,819 Here let me. Here's my good die. 212 00:16:03,819 --> 00:16:04,786 Roll well. 213 00:16:04,787 --> 00:16:07,923 Alright. I'll show you guys how to do this. 214 00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:09,720 Carefull! 215 00:16:43,192 --> 00:16:46,628 Well, Ambrose is very unconscious. That's 19 damage. 216 00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:49,122 19? 217 00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:54,868 I'm dead! You killed me! 218 00:16:55,905 --> 00:16:58,874 Oops. Does anyone have healing magic? 219 00:16:58,874 --> 00:17:00,671 He did. 220 00:17:01,911 --> 00:17:03,845 I'm sorry? 221 00:17:03,846 --> 00:17:06,615 Way to fucking kill me, dude! 222 00:17:06,615 --> 00:17:09,607 Well, just roll up another character. He can jump in later. 223 00:17:09,752 --> 00:17:11,419 19 damage. 224 00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:13,089 After you cross the river... 225 00:17:13,089 --> 00:17:16,759 Wait, wait! Cross the river. Shouldn't we, like, bury him? 226 00:17:16,759 --> 00:17:18,560 You know, like give him a proper funeral? 227 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:19,994 I agree. 228 00:17:19,994 --> 00:17:20,926 Thanks guys! 229 00:17:21,030 --> 00:17:24,800 Yeah, dude, we get, like, 15 piety points per level 230 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:28,771 when we bury a party member, and since he was level 6... 231 00:17:28,771 --> 00:17:32,140 That'd be like 90 points! 232 00:17:32,141 --> 00:17:33,943 Boo yah! 233 00:17:33,943 --> 00:17:37,139 And that'll totally make up for that orphanage we burned down. 234 00:17:38,781 --> 00:17:44,117 Alas, poor Ambrose, we hardly knew thee. 235 00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:56,298 Dibs on the knife. I get the bag. 236 00:17:56,298 --> 00:17:59,096 The staff is mine. 237 00:18:22,791 --> 00:18:25,394 After burying Ambrose, you make it safely across the river. 238 00:18:25,394 --> 00:18:29,365 You continue your voyage south along the forest trail. 239 00:18:29,365 --> 00:18:31,663 Everything goes smoothly until... 240 00:19:13,008 --> 00:19:16,910 Uh, wait a minute. An ambush? 241 00:19:17,346 --> 00:19:22,084 I'm an elf. I shouldn't have missed the ambush. 242 00:19:22,084 --> 00:19:23,652 So, you were taken by surprise. 243 00:19:23,652 --> 00:19:25,454 Why didn't I get a surprise roll? 244 00:19:25,454 --> 00:19:27,022 I rolled for you. You failed. 245 00:19:27,022 --> 00:19:30,559 Still I have the detect ambush skill. Dude, I wanna roll. 246 00:19:30,559 --> 00:19:32,261 Dude, you were surprised! 247 00:19:32,261 --> 00:19:36,232 No, with detect ambush I get an automatic roll, even in a surprise situation! 248 00:19:36,232 --> 00:19:40,101 Yes, but to get that check you have to say that you're looking for an ambush! 249 00:19:40,102 --> 00:19:41,937 I always expect an ambush! 250 00:19:41,937 --> 00:19:44,673 You don't always expect an ambush. How do you ever sleep? 251 00:19:44,673 --> 00:19:45,975 Well, that's beside the point... 252 00:19:45,975 --> 00:19:49,945 I would naturally expect an ambush in an unfamiliar forest. 253 00:19:49,945 --> 00:19:51,647 Dude, I want my check. 254 00:19:51,647 --> 00:19:54,183 No, you weren't expecting the ambush when you entered the forest, 255 00:19:54,183 --> 00:19:55,775 therefore, I rule that you were taken by surprise. 256 00:19:56,151 --> 00:19:57,486 May I continue now? 257 00:19:57,486 --> 00:20:01,090 Yeah. Unbelievable. 258 00:20:01,090 --> 00:20:03,422 19 fricking points. 259 00:20:17,573 --> 00:20:19,675 Make way for the Bandit King! 260 00:20:19,675 --> 00:20:21,610 All hail the Bandit King! 261 00:20:21,610 --> 00:20:24,579 Hail! Hail! Hail! 262 00:20:30,653 --> 00:20:34,453 Good day gentlemen. I am the Bandit King. 263 00:20:35,724 --> 00:20:36,485 This road... 264 00:20:38,227 --> 00:20:40,562 Would you let me finish his speech first? 265 00:20:40,562 --> 00:20:42,363 Why should I? He's going to try to kill us. 266 00:20:42,364 --> 00:20:45,162 You don't know that. Besides, you're still surprised. 267 00:20:45,401 --> 00:20:47,803 Surprise doesn't wear off for 3 rounds and you don't get to attack. 268 00:20:47,803 --> 00:20:50,294 Whatever. 269 00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:54,270 Hey, isn't Mark supposed to be here? 270 00:20:54,543 --> 00:20:55,668 Uh yeah... 271 00:20:55,778 --> 00:20:57,473 ...he's over there. 272 00:20:58,213 --> 00:21:02,115 This road belongs to me, and there's a toll. 273 00:21:03,552 --> 00:21:06,855 See, the Bandit King is in the employ of... 274 00:21:06,855 --> 00:21:07,913 ...The Shadow. 275 00:21:08,023 --> 00:21:10,458 (Shocked) The Shadow? (Surprised) The Shadow? 276 00:21:10,459 --> 00:21:11,660 (Resolved) The Shadow. 277 00:21:11,660 --> 00:21:18,259 Should you choose to pass peacefully, the toll is merely all your worldly possessions. 278 00:21:22,404 --> 00:21:24,707 You are seriously pissing me off. 279 00:21:24,707 --> 00:21:29,278 What? Three rounds is 15 seconds. I counted them off. 280 00:21:29,278 --> 00:21:32,715 After 3 rounds, I'm no longer surprised, so I get the attack. 281 00:21:32,715 --> 00:21:35,417 Yeah right. Ok, well, you can't attack until I say so. 282 00:21:35,417 --> 00:21:37,352 Dude, it's in the rules. Here, 15 seconds, uh... 283 00:21:37,353 --> 00:21:39,221 No. We spent most of that arguing. 284 00:21:39,221 --> 00:21:41,423 You can't attack until I say so. 285 00:21:41,423 --> 00:21:44,893 Now stop killing him and let him finish talking. 286 00:21:44,893 --> 00:21:46,986 It's in the rules. 287 00:21:47,429 --> 00:21:53,766 Should you choose to pass peacefully the toll, is merely all your worldly possessions. 288 00:21:54,169 --> 00:21:58,071 Should you choose to fight? The toll is you lives. 289 00:21:58,707 --> 00:22:01,870 It's your choice, but I warn you not to underestimate... 290 00:22:02,644 --> 00:22:05,704 That's it! 291 00:22:10,085 --> 00:22:12,888 Well, the bandits have a +4 morale. 292 00:22:12,888 --> 00:22:17,484 They also have a +2 terrain bonus from the forest, 293 00:22:18,627 --> 00:22:20,424 and the ambush. 294 00:22:21,430 --> 00:22:23,728 So, set your to-hit rolls at a +6. 295 00:22:23,832 --> 00:22:25,925 Do I get the bonus from the Sword of Ogre Decapitation? 296 00:22:27,336 --> 00:22:29,896 No, actually, that only works on Ogres. 297 00:22:30,005 --> 00:22:32,803 That's why it's called the Sword of Ogre Decapitation. 298 00:22:33,575 --> 00:22:34,743 Nice try. 299 00:22:34,743 --> 00:22:37,541 Now begins the killing followed by a light salad. 300 00:22:37,746 --> 00:22:39,213 Charge! 301 00:22:45,921 --> 00:22:46,910 You're fired! 302 00:25:03,125 --> 00:25:04,693 Alright, so whose initiative is it? I think it's mine. 303 00:25:04,693 --> 00:25:06,956 Hey guys, am I to late to join? Mark! 304 00:25:07,796 --> 00:25:09,598 Dude, I'm so glad you're here. 305 00:25:09,598 --> 00:25:11,533 Thank goodness. We're getting our asses kicked. 306 00:25:11,533 --> 00:25:12,931 We're in a battle? Hell yeah! 307 00:25:13,101 --> 00:25:14,836 Am I there? Yeah. 308 00:25:14,836 --> 00:25:16,360 Where am I? Right here. 309 00:25:16,505 --> 00:25:18,740 Can I go into a Berserker Rage? 310 00:25:18,740 --> 00:25:21,334 I go into a Berserker Rage! 311 00:25:36,291 --> 00:25:40,193 Blood, Death, and Vengance! 312 00:26:06,254 --> 00:26:09,625 Beautifully cut, Sir Mark! 313 00:26:09,625 --> 00:26:12,461 My blades were thirsty today. 314 00:26:12,461 --> 00:26:14,463 Is the Bandit King among the dead? 315 00:26:14,463 --> 00:26:17,364 No, in fact he's running away down the path. 316 00:26:17,499 --> 00:26:19,126 Stop him! 317 00:26:19,267 --> 00:26:20,702 Oh. How far away is he? 318 00:26:20,702 --> 00:26:21,870 About 100 yards. 319 00:26:21,870 --> 00:26:23,871 That's extreme range even for an elf. 320 00:26:23,872 --> 00:26:26,274 Um, how much cover does he have? 321 00:26:26,274 --> 00:26:29,572 The forest is a little thicker around here. It's about 9/10ths. 322 00:26:29,978 --> 00:26:33,215 Don't forget the -2 wound penalty. 323 00:26:33,215 --> 00:26:36,584 What's your to-hit? 324 00:26:36,585 --> 00:26:40,487 I can only hit on a 20. 325 00:26:46,628 --> 00:26:48,562 I take the shot. 326 00:27:08,150 --> 00:27:10,516 Booyah! 327 00:27:35,610 --> 00:27:37,646 Masterful shot, friend elf. 328 00:27:37,646 --> 00:27:39,880 He had the chance to escape. 329 00:27:39,881 --> 00:27:44,841 Three cheers for the archer! Hup hup! Hazah! Hup hup! Hazah! Hup hup! 330 00:27:45,787 --> 00:27:48,415 Shut Up! 331 00:27:48,523 --> 00:27:52,494 God damn it! I'm trying to study here! It's not like I'm asking much! 332 00:27:52,494 --> 00:27:56,429 If you guys don't knock it off, I'm going to call the fucking RD. 333 00:27:59,134 --> 00:28:03,036 God, how many times do I have to put up with that? I cannot believe this! It's sick bullshit! 334 00:28:10,946 --> 00:28:13,715 Maybe we should keep it down. 335 00:28:13,715 --> 00:28:15,951 Prob...probably. 336 00:28:15,951 --> 00:28:18,153 And on that note, I gotta go. 337 00:28:18,153 --> 00:28:20,822 What? But you just got in the door! Why the hell do you have to go? 338 00:28:20,822 --> 00:28:23,691 I promised Molly that I'd take her out to coffee. You know. 339 00:28:23,692 --> 00:28:27,594 I'll have to take over your character you know. Yeah I know. 340 00:28:29,064 --> 00:28:32,966 Have fun storming the castle. 341 00:28:34,569 --> 00:28:37,438 Can you believe this? He's missed the last 3 sessions. 342 00:28:37,439 --> 00:28:38,974 We should kill his character. 343 00:28:38,974 --> 00:28:42,409 Yeah, yeah, kill him! That'll teach him to interact with females. 344 00:28:42,544 --> 00:28:47,382 Can you believe he would actually rather go out with a beautiful, intelligent young woman, 345 00:28:47,382 --> 00:28:50,085 than hang out in this ass-smelling basement with his best friends, 346 00:28:50,085 --> 00:28:53,714 on a Friday night playing adventure games and having belching contests? 347 00:28:54,022 --> 00:28:57,225 And all for the off chance he'll score too! 348 00:28:57,225 --> 00:28:59,658 Can you imagine that? 349 00:29:06,301 --> 00:29:10,203 So...we're in the forest, right? 350 00:29:10,338 --> 00:29:12,238 Uh yeah, the forest. 351 00:29:12,507 --> 00:29:16,011 You follow Brigands Road for a few hours until the forest swallows the path 352 00:29:16,011 --> 00:29:18,079 and you are again in the wilderness. 353 00:29:18,079 --> 00:29:19,481 You hike for 3 more days... 354 00:29:19,481 --> 00:29:23,318 ...and eventually follow a trail into the foothills of Connadure. As you exit the hills... 355 00:29:23,318 --> 00:29:26,754 ...the land slopes down before you. 356 00:29:26,755 --> 00:29:30,725 There on the plain below you, you see the broken ruins of a once great castle, 357 00:29:30,725 --> 00:29:33,694 sitting solemnly in the shadows. 358 00:29:34,563 --> 00:29:37,465 The Princess must be in that castle. 359 00:29:37,465 --> 00:29:41,367 Onward, our journey is nearing its end. 360 00:29:56,084 --> 00:29:59,588 You see a young man standing in the ruins. 361 00:29:59,588 --> 00:30:02,557 He's dressed in flowing wizards robes and has an air of mystery around him. 362 00:30:02,657 --> 00:30:04,419 Dude, is this your new character? 363 00:30:04,526 --> 00:30:05,961 Yeah. 364 00:30:05,961 --> 00:30:07,896 Guys, please! I want you to roleplay this. 365 00:30:07,896 --> 00:30:11,700 Remember you've never met this guy before, the last guys you met tried to kill you, 366 00:30:11,700 --> 00:30:15,237 and you're standing in the ruins of an evil, cursed castle. 367 00:30:15,237 --> 00:30:16,898 Just act appropriately. 368 00:30:17,339 --> 00:30:23,039 Hello. I'm Magellan, a traveling mage. I notice your group has no wizard. 369 00:30:23,645 --> 00:30:27,547 You seem trustworthy. Would you care to join us in our noble quest? 370 00:30:28,183 --> 00:30:31,084 Yes. Yes, I would. 371 00:30:35,023 --> 00:30:38,994 Broken stones and petrified wood litter the ground outside the castle. 372 00:30:38,994 --> 00:30:42,397 You follow the remains of what was once a major road to the ruins 373 00:30:42,397 --> 00:30:45,798 only to find a set of massive iron bars blocking the entrance. 374 00:30:46,368 --> 00:30:48,535 Ok. I rip them out of the way. 375 00:30:48,536 --> 00:30:50,038 What's your strength? 376 00:30:50,038 --> 00:30:53,508 19. That's a 95% chance of success. 377 00:30:53,508 --> 00:30:55,169 Roll 'em. 378 00:30:59,581 --> 00:31:05,713 Oh! Ooo! I don't believe this. 379 00:31:10,592 --> 00:31:13,695 Here, why don't I have Newmoon give it a try? 380 00:31:13,695 --> 00:31:15,562 What's your strength? Six. 381 00:31:15,563 --> 00:31:17,224 Ok. Roll it. 382 00:31:45,727 --> 00:31:49,629 Lift with the legs, Rogar, not the back. 383 00:31:58,506 --> 00:32:01,476 It's very dark. Ambrose... 384 00:32:01,476 --> 00:32:02,877 It's Magellan. 385 00:32:02,877 --> 00:32:05,480 Whatever, is it safe? 386 00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:07,215 We shall see. 387 00:32:07,215 --> 00:32:11,117 Ok. I'll use my staff of evil detection. 388 00:32:20,862 --> 00:32:23,228 Well, is it safe? 389 00:32:24,099 --> 00:32:27,033 It most assuredly is not. 390 00:32:31,706 --> 00:32:36,945 A dark narrow passage snakes off into the fortress. There's a sputtering torch every 20 yards or so, 391 00:32:36,945 --> 00:32:39,714 but they aren't giving off enough light to push back the darkness. 392 00:32:39,714 --> 00:32:40,942 Nimble takes point. 393 00:32:48,156 --> 00:32:52,058 The air gets warmer and harder to breath the farther you go into the ruins. 394 00:33:16,951 --> 00:33:20,785 After a few turns, you come to a large door. It's locked. 395 00:33:24,759 --> 00:33:27,023 Hmm. I pick the lock. 396 00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:55,489 Do I see anything odd in the next hall? Nope. 397 00:33:55,490 --> 00:33:57,151 I walk down the hall. 398 00:34:11,873 --> 00:34:15,777 Did I say walk down the hall? I meant sneak down the hall. 399 00:34:15,777 --> 00:34:18,146 So why didn't you say sneak before? 400 00:34:18,146 --> 00:34:21,549 I shouldn't have to. I'm a thief, I sneak every where I go. 401 00:34:21,549 --> 00:34:25,453 No you don't. You don't sneak around in broad daylight, you don't sneak around in church. 402 00:34:25,453 --> 00:34:28,590 No, but I do sneak around in a danger zone. 403 00:34:28,590 --> 00:34:32,560 Yeah, but you didn't know there was a trap in the room so you didn't know it was a danger zone. Did ya? 404 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:37,031 Look. A thief of my level wouldn't walk blindly into a possibly trapped room. 405 00:34:37,031 --> 00:34:38,233 Like you did. 406 00:34:38,233 --> 00:34:40,400 I wouldn't have if you'd just... 407 00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:42,163 Fine. Fine. We'll do it again. 408 00:34:56,083 --> 00:34:59,220 Did I say sneak down the hall? Yes, you did. 409 00:34:59,220 --> 00:35:03,553 Well, as a master thief, of course I would know when to be weary of such traps. 410 00:35:04,993 --> 00:35:08,190 Uh huh. And what would a master thief do in such a situation? 411 00:35:08,696 --> 00:35:14,969 Easy. I crawl down the hall an inch at a time looking for traps. 412 00:35:14,969 --> 00:35:15,936 Whatever. 413 00:35:39,627 --> 00:35:43,529 Damn it. Who's got the most hit points? 414 00:35:43,932 --> 00:35:46,334 Rogar. Of course. 415 00:35:46,334 --> 00:35:48,529 Well you do it then. Ok. 416 00:36:04,018 --> 00:36:07,088 Rogar takes 35 points of damage. 417 00:36:07,088 --> 00:36:15,359 Oh no! I've only got 85 points left! Ohhh, Ohhh, Oohhhhh! (Crowd applause) 418 00:36:28,476 --> 00:36:33,072 You follow the hall into a vast new room in the middle of which you see a stone throne. 419 00:36:33,381 --> 00:36:36,850 Seated upon the throne is a figure who strikes terror into your hearts. 420 00:36:36,851 --> 00:36:41,379 He's dressed in midnight blacks and blues, and his cloak billows around his form-fitting armor. 421 00:36:41,489 --> 00:36:45,026 His face is masked, but his body moves with deadly grace and precision. 422 00:36:45,026 --> 00:36:48,189 His name rises from your nightmares. He is known as... 423 00:36:48,329 --> 00:36:49,230 (Shocked) The Shadow! 424 00:36:49,230 --> 00:36:50,765 (Surprised) The Shadow? 425 00:36:50,765 --> 00:36:52,323 (Resolved) The Shadow. 426 00:36:52,934 --> 00:36:58,895 I've been waiting, waiting for you to come to me, and now I have you. 427 00:36:59,107 --> 00:37:02,406 You, who have caused me so much trouble in the past. 428 00:37:02,744 --> 00:37:07,875 Rogar, Newmoon, Nimble, Ambrose... 429 00:37:08,883 --> 00:37:09,917 Magellan! 430 00:37:09,917 --> 00:37:12,147 Magellan, sorry... 431 00:37:12,253 --> 00:37:14,622 and Mark. 432 00:37:14,622 --> 00:37:20,060 You've beaten my bandits, you've bested my traps, but to rescue the princess, 433 00:37:20,061 --> 00:37:22,222 you must defeat me. 434 00:37:23,331 --> 00:37:27,233 Now come, come and let us finish this game. 435 00:37:29,570 --> 00:37:31,406 Oh dear... 436 00:37:31,406 --> 00:37:33,408 I'm going to prepare a spell. Which one? 437 00:37:33,408 --> 00:37:34,807 Polymorph other. 438 00:37:34,909 --> 00:37:39,414 Dude, that spell takes a ton of time to prepare. The Shadow's going to waste us before you're done. 439 00:37:39,414 --> 00:37:41,405 Well, then give me a distraction. 440 00:37:42,283 --> 00:37:43,772 Send Mark after him. 441 00:37:44,018 --> 00:37:46,921 That's good! Yeah, have Mark attack him. 442 00:37:46,921 --> 00:37:47,944 OK 443 00:37:48,990 --> 00:37:51,491 Dude. don't forget his battle cry... 444 00:37:51,492 --> 00:37:55,394 Blood, death, and vengance. 445 00:38:10,611 --> 00:38:12,738 And now for the rest of you. 446 00:38:14,515 --> 00:38:17,218 Great, Mark's going to be pissed. 447 00:38:17,218 --> 00:38:19,520 How's that spell coming? I need more time. 448 00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:23,251 The Shadow steps towards you to engage you in combat. 449 00:38:23,458 --> 00:38:27,028 Call shot to the nuts! What? 450 00:38:27,028 --> 00:38:30,930 Combat rules state that the crotch is a vital area. 451 00:38:31,199 --> 00:38:35,169 If you hit an opponent in a vital area, he's stunned for one round. 452 00:38:35,169 --> 00:38:39,105 Call shot to the nuts. 453 00:38:44,245 --> 00:38:47,248 You will pay for your insolence. 454 00:38:47,248 --> 00:38:50,084 Oh, that hurt! 455 00:38:50,084 --> 00:39:05,192 Alright guys, I've got my spell ready. (Chanting) Da me he fermentum 456 00:39:17,311 --> 00:39:19,580 What the hell did you turn him into? 457 00:39:19,580 --> 00:39:21,015 An ogre. 458 00:39:21,015 --> 00:39:24,252 Why, those things are dangerous?! 459 00:39:24,252 --> 00:39:28,154 Sword of Ogre Decapitation. 460 00:40:26,214 --> 00:40:28,774 You've done it! You've killed the Shadow! 461 00:41:09,156 --> 00:41:13,058 We came, we saw, we kicked his nuts! 462 00:41:15,296 --> 00:41:17,365 And wait, uh, what about the Princess? 463 00:41:17,365 --> 00:41:20,868 Is she not in the room? No. 464 00:41:20,868 --> 00:41:22,904 Maybe there's a door somewhere? 465 00:41:22,904 --> 00:41:26,806 I look around for a secret door. Good call. 466 00:41:32,146 --> 00:41:37,413 Well, you see a secret trap door behind the Shadow's throne. It leads down into another dark corridor. 467 00:41:38,553 --> 00:41:42,522 We're not done yet, guys. There might be harder stuff further along. 468 00:41:42,523 --> 00:41:45,253 What, harder than The Shadow? I doubt it. 469 00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:47,094 Let's just keep going. 470 00:41:47,094 --> 00:41:51,799 The new corridor comes to an abrupt end, blocked by a door that leads farther underground. 471 00:41:51,799 --> 00:41:54,427 A soft light is shining underneath it. 472 00:41:54,669 --> 00:41:56,337 Can we hear anything inside? 473 00:41:56,337 --> 00:42:00,239 You hear muffled voices. You make out at least 2, but there could be more. 474 00:42:00,441 --> 00:42:02,136 Pick the lock, thief. 475 00:42:03,311 --> 00:42:04,744 Shhhh...did you guys hear something? 476 00:42:06,213 --> 00:42:09,182 No, I didn't. Did you? No, I guess not. 477 00:42:09,617 --> 00:42:11,786 Nimble, you hear 3 more voices. 478 00:42:11,786 --> 00:42:14,722 There are at least 5 of them. 479 00:42:14,722 --> 00:42:16,713 We must take this door. It is the only passage. 480 00:42:18,426 --> 00:42:21,223 What vile demons lie beyond this door? 481 00:42:22,029 --> 00:42:24,224 We'll see in a moment. Ready yourselves. 482 00:42:24,565 --> 00:42:28,057 Nimble picks the lock while the rest of you prepare for battle. 483 00:42:28,502 --> 00:42:31,903 Whoever's inside keeps talking. You don't think you've been heard. 484 00:42:38,412 --> 00:42:41,107 (Clunk) We're keeping it down, damn it! Shut the hell up out there! 485 00:42:41,215 --> 00:42:42,416 You hear an angry shout. 486 00:42:42,416 --> 00:42:43,246 We've been heard. 487 00:42:43,384 --> 00:42:45,045 We've lost the element of surprise. 488 00:42:45,252 --> 00:42:46,320 They know we're here! 489 00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:48,880 Kill 'em. Kick the door in and kill them all! 490 00:43:25,526 --> 00:43:27,828 Where's the princess? 491 00:43:27,828 --> 00:43:31,730 Forget the princess, who are these strange sorcerers? 492 00:43:33,901 --> 00:43:37,837 Amazing! My entire life is written here! 493 00:43:37,838 --> 00:43:41,740 My intelligence is 4! Outrageous! 494 00:43:43,244 --> 00:43:45,212 Give me that pen! 495 00:43:47,815 --> 00:43:53,621 God damn it! I have tried to be nice, but you guys are so un-fucking-believably noisy! 496 00:43:53,621 --> 00:43:55,690 Some of us have lives and have to study. 497 00:43:55,690 --> 00:43:59,592 If you don't shut up, I'm going to call campus-fucking-safety! 498 00:44:00,461 --> 00:44:04,432 The Princess! We've found her! 499 00:44:04,432 --> 00:44:08,368 Leave me out of your sick-ass fantasy, weirdo. 500 00:44:09,603 --> 00:44:10,900 Nice ears, loser. 501 00:44:38,132 --> 00:44:40,828 Fucking gamers. 40097

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