All language subtitles for MASH (1972) - S06E17 - Tea and Empathy (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 ImE)_track4_[eng]

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,439 ♪♪ [theme] 2 00:00:54,837 --> 00:00:56,012 Cunningham. 3 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,362 Wow. All those head wounds-- 4 00:00:58,406 --> 00:00:59,581 looks like they got scalped. 5 00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:01,061 Who's their C.O., General Custer? 6 00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:02,279 They're English. 7 00:01:02,323 --> 00:01:03,802 That'll be the Gloucester regiment. 8 00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:05,195 How do you know? 9 00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:07,415 Those are the nutcakes that never wear helmets. 10 00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,721 They're trying to prove it's mind over shrapnel. 11 00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:11,245 Full blood and prep him stat. 12 00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:12,376 And this one's next. 13 00:01:15,727 --> 00:01:16,989 -Hey, doc. -Hi. 14 00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:18,121 Remember me? 15 00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:19,383 Yeah, sure. I sat next to you 16 00:01:19,427 --> 00:01:20,689 at the Dempsey/Firbo fight. 17 00:01:20,732 --> 00:01:23,518 You operated on me about eight months ago. 18 00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:25,389 You're in luck. The warranty's still good. 19 00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:28,566 It's really hurting me, doc. Can you give me something? 20 00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,438 Sure. Ten milligrams of morphine. 21 00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:31,743 Is that enough? 22 00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:33,049 We want to ease the pain, soldier, 23 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,485 not put you into orbit. 24 00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:36,531 I'm hurt bad, ain't I, doc? 25 00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:37,967 -Shh. -Ain't I, doc? 26 00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:39,882 Please, you're distracting me. 27 00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:41,318 Am I gonna be all right? 28 00:01:41,362 --> 00:01:43,799 I'd rather not commit myself at this time. 29 00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:46,758 Please, do your best. 30 00:01:46,802 --> 00:01:49,761 Oh, soldier, you don't know how fortunate you are. 31 00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:51,720 Major Winchester was one of the finest surgeons 32 00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,591 -in Boston. -Thank you, Major. 33 00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,071 In the states, you couldn't even afford 34 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,507 to have this man look at you. 35 00:01:56,551 --> 00:01:58,248 She's absolutely right, you know. 36 00:01:58,292 --> 00:01:59,597 If this had happened in Boston, 37 00:01:59,641 --> 00:02:01,164 I would have referred you to someone else. 38 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:02,296 What hands. 39 00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:04,689 If I were on the operating table, 40 00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:07,083 I wouldn't want anyone but you to touch me. 41 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,867 Set a place for me, will you? 42 00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:10,913 How revolting. 43 00:02:10,956 --> 00:02:12,654 I have every reason to revolt. 44 00:02:12,697 --> 00:02:14,046 I'm sick of this place. 45 00:02:14,090 --> 00:02:15,874 Winchester, is that still your first patient? 46 00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:17,833 I've done three since you started. 47 00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:19,835 He's probably running a check on the guy's credit. 48 00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:22,185 Do you want it good, Colonel, or do you want it fast? 49 00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:24,318 Good and fast. This isn't Boston General. 50 00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,189 We're a MASH unit. We do a volume business. 51 00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,626 Well, I'm sorry. I was not trained on an assembly line. 52 00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:30,802 Neither was I. Nurse, wrench. 53 00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:32,935 Don't be too hard on Charles, Colonel. This is Wednesday. 54 00:02:32,978 --> 00:02:34,502 He gave up his squash game to be here. 55 00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:36,025 Thank you, Captain. 56 00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:37,722 I'm sure you'll do very well after the war 57 00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:39,985 in a nice little free clinic somewhere. 58 00:02:40,029 --> 00:02:41,291 Goodness, what a sharp tongue. 59 00:02:41,335 --> 00:02:43,032 He's sliced a lot of baloney with it. 60 00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:44,338 Will you get off his back? 61 00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:45,600 Bottle it, all of you. 62 00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,645 Colonel, I've got to talk to you. 63 00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:49,647 What is that smell? 64 00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:51,780 Klinger, did you fall into the sauerkraut? 65 00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:53,608 I'm wearing Asian musk. 66 00:02:53,651 --> 00:02:56,088 It creeps out of the night to weave its magic spell. 67 00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:57,177 So does a skunk. 68 00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:58,221 You don't like it. 69 00:02:58,265 --> 00:03:00,310 Stop sulking and speak up. 70 00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:02,921 I got a patella here that looks like a tennis racquet. 71 00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:04,140 Somebody broke into supply 72 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,055 and cleaned us all out of penicillin. 73 00:03:06,098 --> 00:03:09,014 Ah, damn! Black marketeers again. 74 00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:11,495 I thought I told you to change the locks on the supply room. 75 00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:13,410 I did, and it stopped them cold. 76 00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:15,195 They had to break down the door. 77 00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:17,806 Take a jeep, make the rounds. Try and get us some more. 78 00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:19,895 It's times like these I could use a travel ensemble. 79 00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:21,026 Suction. 80 00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:22,245 Suction! Suction! Now! 81 00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:23,725 Can I do anything, Hawkeye? 82 00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:25,640 Not yet, Father. He's still got a chance. 83 00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,599 I'm sorry, Father. 84 00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:30,122 That was a dumb thing to say. 85 00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:31,776 No, no, I understand. 86 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,691 I know I must seem like a vulture to you, 87 00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,432 waiting for the unfortunate ones. 88 00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:37,042 I wish I could be of more help. 89 00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:38,740 I wish I could too, Father. 90 00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:40,568 -Look at this guy. He's full of tea. -Tea? 91 00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:43,048 You can't tell whether he's a soldier or a samovar. 92 00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:44,267 I don't quite follow. 93 00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:46,356 They gave him tea when he was wounded. 94 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,054 Now it's seeping into the abdominal cavity. 95 00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:51,361 An engraved invitation to peritonitis. 96 00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:53,624 Oh, my goodness. Why would they do that? 97 00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:56,148 I don't know. I'll never understand some of these English units. 98 00:03:56,192 --> 00:03:58,716 They think a belly wound is an occasion for high tea. 99 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,023 This guy took cream and sugar, yet. 100 00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:02,851 As if his wounds weren't enough. 101 00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,331 What can you expect 102 00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:06,246 from a country that has socialized medicine? 103 00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:08,378 Only Shakespeare, crumpets, Vivien Leigh. 104 00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:09,858 Let's not forget penicillin. 105 00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:12,077 How can we? We don't have any. 106 00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:18,475 It's 102 plus. 107 00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:20,956 That damn tea. It's peritonitis. 108 00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:23,959 Without penicillin, he's gonna blow the top off that thermometer by morning. 109 00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:28,268 I suppose you'll have to get a new thermometer. [chuckling] 110 00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:29,617 What's the matter, Pierce? 111 00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:30,792 Sorry you didn't think of it first? 112 00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:32,837 Oh, it's a joke. 113 00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:35,362 You're wasting your time here. You belong in the Catskills. 114 00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:38,147 Hey, how about a shot, Doc? 115 00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:40,192 This pain is somethin' awful. 116 00:04:40,236 --> 00:04:42,412 Really? It shouldn't be that bad. 117 00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:44,458 Take it from me, it is. 118 00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:47,983 Okay. It's a little early, 119 00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:49,463 but I'll see that you get another shot. 120 00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:50,855 You're a real pal, Doc. 121 00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:52,335 Roberts. Ten milligrams of morphine here. 122 00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:53,902 Ah. Here you are, lads. 123 00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:57,122 All looking quite chipper, I must say. 124 00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:58,689 Oh, Major. 125 00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:00,822 Well, we'll have you chaps back on duty in no time. 126 00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:03,303 The doctor says it will be a couple of weeks for me, sir. 127 00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:05,348 Nonsense. There are plenty of lads up on the line 128 00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:06,741 that are worse off than you. 129 00:05:06,784 --> 00:05:08,917 What do you think this is, a holiday at Brighton? 130 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,049 Half a mo, guv. Who are you? 131 00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:13,661 Major Derek Ross, Gloucester regiment. 132 00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:16,359 You wouldn't be the chap that told this man 133 00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:18,448 he could lollygag around here for a fortnight? 134 00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:19,928 That's my prescription-- 135 00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:22,060 Plenty of rest and 100 CC's of lollygag. 136 00:05:22,104 --> 00:05:23,932 I don't appreciate your humor, Doctor. 137 00:05:23,975 --> 00:05:25,325 What is your rank? 138 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,587 Either private or general. 139 00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,371 I can never keep that stuff straight. 140 00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:30,373 Whatever you are, you obviously plan 141 00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:33,028 to keep these men here much longer than necessary. 142 00:05:33,071 --> 00:05:34,769 They all look ready to go right now. 143 00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:35,900 Take another look, Major. 144 00:05:35,944 --> 00:05:37,380 These men need time to recuperate. 145 00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:39,382 Nonsense. Look at Michaels here. Roses on his cheeks. 146 00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:40,949 Take him out of here too soon, 147 00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:42,690 he'll have lilies on his chest. 148 00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:45,606 Is this mollycoddling standard procedure? 149 00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:46,955 These men aren't on holiday, you know. 150 00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:48,260 They're fighting a war, 151 00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:49,436 and they can't do it on their backs. 152 00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:50,741 Do you believe this guy? 153 00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:52,047 Like something out of Gunga Din. 154 00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:53,396 Gentlemen, perhaps it would be best 155 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,529 if you let me handle this. 156 00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:58,575 Major, the fact is that, in our best medical opinion, 157 00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:00,098 it would simply be unwise 158 00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:01,752 to release these men prematurely. 159 00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:03,580 Have you ever had the beef Wellington at the Dorchester? 160 00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:09,107 Now see here, gentlemen, I'm their commanding officer, 161 00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:11,414 and I will not have these men lounging about 162 00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,416 in this luxury resort. 163 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,809 But, Major, they're here on the American plan. 164 00:06:14,852 --> 00:06:16,811 It won't cost you a farthing. 165 00:06:16,854 --> 00:06:18,595 I don't mean to be rude, 166 00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,989 but I wish you'd mind your own bloody business. 167 00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,469 Well, I domean to be rude, 168 00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,427 so I wish you'd get your bloody butt out of here. 169 00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:26,690 You'll be sorry for that. 170 00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:29,693 We've an old saying in America: Get out. 171 00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:32,609 Very well. 172 00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:34,306 But I'll be back. 173 00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:38,920 Gentlemen. 174 00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:42,097 I love the English. 175 00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:44,055 Wonderful manners. 176 00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:47,407 It's been six months since my last confession. 177 00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,365 You sure this is just between us? 178 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,367 Nobody else is going to know. 179 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,282 Only the one who knows everything. 180 00:06:53,325 --> 00:06:54,675 [whispering:] Colonel Potter? 181 00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:56,328 I'm speaking of the Lord. 182 00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:58,983 Oh. Well, see, I'm going home, 183 00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:00,245 but before I leave, 184 00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:02,334 I want to get something off my chest. 185 00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:03,988 Go ahead, my son. 186 00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:05,555 Yeah, well, 187 00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:07,339 I've done some bad things here, Father-- 188 00:07:07,383 --> 00:07:10,342 drinking, fighting, fraternizing. 189 00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:13,650 Well, there's nothing wrong with fraternizing, 190 00:07:13,694 --> 00:07:15,435 unless you mean... 191 00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:19,656 Oh... fraternizing. 192 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,049 Well... 193 00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,442 But there's something worse, Father. 194 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,488 I got in with these guys-- 195 00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:27,664 some G.I.'s and some Koreans. 196 00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:28,970 Yes? 197 00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:31,102 The black market, Father. 198 00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:32,756 Medical supplies. 199 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,846 Penicillin, sulfa, and morphine. 200 00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:38,240 Oh, I see. 201 00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:39,720 I didn't like doing it, 202 00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,070 but there's a big market for this stuff. 203 00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:44,638 Penicillin is like gold, and the dough is good-- 204 00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:45,987 a grand a month. 205 00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:48,468 My goodness, the dough was grand. 206 00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,426 Now I have this terrible guilt. 207 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:54,343 Well, I know of several good charities. 208 00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:56,171 Perhaps you might leave the money here. 209 00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:59,653 Too late. I sent it back to the states, to my wife. 210 00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:01,350 She put a down payment on a house. 211 00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:02,656 Won't it trouble you 212 00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:04,527 knowing where the money came from? 213 00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,877 Oh, yes. Very much. That's why I'm here. 214 00:08:06,921 --> 00:08:09,227 But hey, I didn't do the actual stealing. 215 00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:10,881 They just paid me to stash the stuff. 216 00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:13,405 Stash it? Where? 217 00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:16,931 Under the temple bell at the burned-out village school. 218 00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:19,281 Oh, I see. 219 00:08:19,324 --> 00:08:22,763 Well, if you want His forgiveness, 220 00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:24,678 you're going to have to right the wrong. 221 00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,767 Oh, I'd love to, but I got a plane to catch. 222 00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:28,377 I'll work on it when I get home. 223 00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:30,814 Is there anything else you wanted to talk about? 224 00:08:30,858 --> 00:08:32,250 Let's see... 225 00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:35,558 drinking, fighting, fraternizing, black market-- 226 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:36,820 Nope, that's it. 227 00:08:38,082 --> 00:08:40,476 Go ahead. 228 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,783 Keep sponging him down and continue I.V. 229 00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:43,958 That's all we can do. 230 00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:45,307 Yes, Doctor. 231 00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:46,743 Great war, isn't it? 232 00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:50,573 Snipers, land mines, artillery, and now thieves. 233 00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:53,271 It's not the war. It's the neighborhood. 234 00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:54,795 You're right. Why don't you move to the suburbs? 235 00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:56,710 Then you can catch the 5:15 to O.R. 236 00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:58,581 How are you doing, old sport? 237 00:08:58,625 --> 00:08:59,713 Not so good. 238 00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,410 I got a lot of pain. 239 00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:02,933 I need a shot, doc. 240 00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:05,327 You've had two in the last eight hours. 241 00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:06,807 I can't help it. 242 00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,330 The pain's awful. 243 00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:09,592 Shouldn't be that much pain. 244 00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,594 All I know is it hurts. 245 00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:13,944 Okay. You need a shot, you'll get it. 246 00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:15,380 Thanks, doc. 247 00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,252 I really appreciate it. 248 00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:35,270 Comes and goes, huh? 249 00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:36,837 What do you mean? 250 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,447 I mean you were in agony a minute ago. 251 00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:39,970 As soon as I said you'd get a shot, 252 00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:41,624 you're happy as a clam. 253 00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:44,105 Just knowing I was getting some relief was-- 254 00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,499 What were you here for last time, Duncan? 255 00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:49,197 Hip wound. 256 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,938 I took some shrapnel. 257 00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:52,722 Bone wounds can be painful. 258 00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:54,985 How long were you on morphine? 259 00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:57,771 A week. Maybe two. 260 00:09:57,814 --> 00:09:59,642 That was while you were here. How long after you left? 261 00:10:01,557 --> 00:10:03,211 Come on, doc. 262 00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:04,473 You're hooked, Johnson. 263 00:10:04,516 --> 00:10:06,518 You don't need that shot for pain. 264 00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:08,259 You just need it. 265 00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:09,957 You mean you're not gonna give me another shot, doc? 266 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,698 I'll give you everything but. 267 00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:13,177 I'll take care of you. I'll hold your hand if necessary. 268 00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:14,875 But I won't give you any morphine. 269 00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:17,094 I don't need you to hold my hand. 270 00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:19,444 -I need that shot. -Nope. 271 00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:20,968 You're not going to leave here a junkie, 272 00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:22,273 pal, that I promise you. 273 00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:23,797 Oh, Colonel, 274 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,842 was Klinger able to round up any penicillin? 275 00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:28,062 No, he struck out at the 8063rd. 276 00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:30,586 Let's hope he'll do better at the 80 double nickel-- 277 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,849 assuming they like the smell of sauerkraut. 278 00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:35,765 Uh, Colonel, there's something I'd like to discuss. 279 00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:37,245 Fire away. 280 00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:38,725 Well, I-- 281 00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:40,988 I'm afraid I can't be completely explicit. 282 00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:42,685 Would you like to give me a hint? 283 00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,687 A hint might give it away. 284 00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,863 Is it animal, vegetable, or mineral? 285 00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:49,083 Well, it's spiritual mostly. 286 00:10:49,126 --> 00:10:50,780 That narrows it down. 287 00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:52,477 Actually, it's something of a dilemma. 288 00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:53,870 Well, what's the dilemma? 289 00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:55,611 I'm afraid I can't-- 290 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,873 Can't tell me that. Uh-huh. 291 00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,788 Look, Father, I'm kind of busy. 292 00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:01,095 I'm trying to rustle up some penicillin. 293 00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:02,313 Exactly, exactly. 294 00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:03,793 Exactly what? 295 00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:05,621 Maybe I'd better be more specific. 296 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,753 Hallelujah. 297 00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:08,929 After all, I have a responsibility 298 00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:10,408 to my fellow man. 299 00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:11,975 On the other hand, 300 00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:13,760 we have the confidentiality of the confessional, 301 00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,152 which is absolute. 302 00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:16,545 Absolutely. 303 00:11:16,588 --> 00:11:18,721 No matter what I do, I fear I'll be wrong. 304 00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:22,464 You're right, Father, this is a dilemma, for the both of us. 305 00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:24,379 No, this is my own problem, 306 00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:26,686 something I should work out myself. 307 00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:27,730 Whatever you say. 308 00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,732 Yes. 309 00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:33,562 Well, thank you very much for the chat, Colonel. 310 00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:36,217 Not at all. You'll have to stop by sometime 311 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:37,958 and tell me what we chatted about. 312 00:11:42,963 --> 00:11:45,835 Father, has the Colonel had any luck finding us some penicillin? 313 00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,315 I'm afraid not. 314 00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:48,751 If we don't get some soon, 315 00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:50,710 you better brush up on your graveside manner. 316 00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:58,805 Klinger, have any luck? 317 00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:00,023 Nah, nothing. 318 00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:02,722 I should have worn something backless. 319 00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:05,855 Klinger, I know where we may be able 320 00:12:05,899 --> 00:12:07,204 to find some penicillin. 321 00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:08,771 Oh, yeah? Where? 322 00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:10,991 Well, I can't tell you that. 323 00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:12,253 Then how are we gonna get there? 324 00:12:12,296 --> 00:12:13,602 Oh, yes. 325 00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:15,299 Well, I better drive. 326 00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:16,997 Then what do you need me for? 327 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,260 I can't divulge that, either. 328 00:12:19,303 --> 00:12:20,696 Okay. 329 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,654 I've been on blind dates before. 330 00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:39,323 MULCAHY: I think I should warn you, Klinger-- 331 00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:41,021 what we're doing could be dangerous. 332 00:12:41,064 --> 00:12:43,458 Father, we're only doing 30 miles an hour. 333 00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:46,200 No. I mean we're dealing with the black market. 334 00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:49,246 There's a possibility we can run into some shady characters. 335 00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:50,900 Hey, I'm from Toledo. 336 00:12:50,944 --> 00:12:53,163 Half my mail comes from death row. 337 00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:54,861 Shady characters. 338 00:12:56,688 --> 00:12:58,125 There's the schoolhouse, Klinger. 339 00:12:58,168 --> 00:12:59,430 Nice location. 340 00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:00,910 Why does everything in Korea 341 00:13:00,954 --> 00:13:02,433 look like it was built deserted? 342 00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:03,913 Before we go in, Klinger, 343 00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:05,872 I want to thank you for coming along. 344 00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:08,222 If you got to say that, I'm sorry I came. 345 00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:15,185 There must be a lot of happy Korean kids 346 00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,273 around here, Father. 347 00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:17,492 Why? 348 00:13:17,535 --> 00:13:18,928 The schoolhouse burned down. 349 00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:20,538 I used to dream about that in Toledo. 350 00:13:20,582 --> 00:13:21,757 Klinger! 351 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,411 I never really did anything about it. 352 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:24,847 I meant quiet. 353 00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:27,371 You can't tell who might be around. 354 00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:30,331 It's deserted-- like summer vacation. 355 00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:32,681 Ah, look. 356 00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:34,596 There it is. 357 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,819 If we're in luck, there may be drugs under here. 358 00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:42,691 This is the first time I ever broke into a bell. 359 00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:44,867 Come on, we'll lean it back, and pray. 360 00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:46,564 I'm with you, Father. 361 00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:47,827 [groaning] 362 00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:48,871 Oh, it's heavy. 363 00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:51,439 Shh! We must be very quiet. 364 00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:52,788 [bell tolls] 365 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:53,876 Watch it, Klinger! 366 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,008 I'm sorry. 367 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,879 Can you hold it like that? 368 00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,054 I'll try. 369 00:13:58,098 --> 00:14:00,056 I got something. 370 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,884 Me too--a hernia. 371 00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:03,581 "Penicillin 4077th." 372 00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:04,887 This is our stuff. 373 00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:06,802 We're stealing our own drugs? 374 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,630 But this isn't stealing-- it's redemption. 375 00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:09,805 -[gunshot] -[bell clangs] 376 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,459 Oh, my goodness! Was that a shot? 377 00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:13,026 Your shady characters just rang our bell. 378 00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:14,810 It means class dismissed! Let's get out of here! 379 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:15,898 Come on! 380 00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:19,380 What's the matter? Let's go. 381 00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:20,860 I'm caught. 382 00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:23,775 Well, we've got to get out of here. Rip it. 383 00:14:23,819 --> 00:14:24,820 Are you crazy? 384 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,865 This is my best skirt. 385 00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:26,996 [gunshots] 386 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,520 Hurry up, Klinger! Hurry up! Come on! 387 00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:30,782 That was an original. 388 00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:32,001 Now they'll make copies, 389 00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:33,655 and you'll see it all over Korea. 390 00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:35,352 -[gunshots] -Drive, Father! 391 00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:40,923 Get down! Get down! 392 00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:42,620 Throw it into fourth, Father! 393 00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:44,492 Onward, Christian soldiers! 394 00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,893 How does that feel? 395 00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:55,068 I can't take it anymore, doc. 396 00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:57,548 Please, half a shot? 397 00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:58,767 Hang on, Johnson. 398 00:14:58,810 --> 00:14:59,899 Hang on. You're winning. 399 00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:02,771 Winning? You call this winning? 400 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,687 Oh, you doctors are great. 401 00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:09,038 First you get me hooked, and then you say "No more." 402 00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:10,953 Nobody planned it this way, pal, 403 00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:12,912 but right now you got no other choice. 404 00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:15,610 A few more hours-- you can own your life again. 405 00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:17,133 It isn't worth it. 406 00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:19,266 Give me a shot or let me die. 407 00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:21,572 You're not going to die. 408 00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:24,967 He's very inventive, but he's a little-- 409 00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:27,100 a little structure conscious for me. 410 00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,884 In my humble opinion, 411 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,843 the greatest work in the whole operatic literature 412 00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:34,629 is Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen. 413 00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,936 I think I saw it, with Ethel Merman. 414 00:15:38,589 --> 00:15:40,896 That... must have been interesting. 415 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,726 Tell me, Major, how do you cope 416 00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:46,336 with the cultural famine around here? 417 00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,425 -Well, I have my work. -Oh, of course. 418 00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:50,906 And I do my nails. And, of course, there's my yoga. 419 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,691 I love yoga. 420 00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:56,303 -Whoops. -Oh. Here. Ah, careful. 421 00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:57,782 -What are you doing? -I'm sorry. 422 00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,262 My sleeve is caught in your cluster here. 423 00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:00,829 Well, get it uncaught. 424 00:16:00,872 --> 00:16:02,570 Well, I will if you'll hold still, Major. 425 00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,180 Well, hurry up. 426 00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:05,529 These animals would just love 427 00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:07,792 to get a photo like this to send to Donald. 428 00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:10,491 Major, this could hardly be described as a passionate embrace. 429 00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:12,667 -It's not an embrace! -[jeep approaching] 430 00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:14,277 I believe that's what I said. 431 00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:16,540 -Just get-- Aah! -[brakes squeal] 432 00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:18,151 Here it is, folks! 433 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:20,370 Penicillin! Penicillin! 434 00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:22,068 Father, where on earth did you find it? 435 00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:23,852 Well, it was all very exciting. 436 00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:27,029 There's this burned-out schoolhouse by the village. 437 00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,596 It must have been quite charming in its day. 438 00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:29,684 We heisted a bell. 439 00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:31,425 Klinger, where's your skirt? 440 00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:32,600 Missing in action. 441 00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:34,906 Go cover yourself, you hairy fool. 442 00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:37,039 I am covered, Major-- covered with glory! 443 00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:41,478 All right, nurses, come and get it. 444 00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:43,785 Penicillin-- Start dishing it out pronto. 445 00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:45,178 One to a customer. 446 00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:46,570 This round's on the Father and me. 447 00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:48,311 B.J.: How did you get it? 448 00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:50,661 Through the greatest act of bravery since Audie Murphy. 449 00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:51,836 Or Father Duffy. 450 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,142 I'll read the book. 451 00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:55,057 Baker, keep an eye on Johnson. 452 00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:56,667 He should be calm for a while. 453 00:16:56,711 --> 00:16:58,495 Keep on the I.V. Call me if there's trouble. 454 00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:00,280 -I'm gonna get some sleep. -Yes, doctor. 455 00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:02,934 Colonel, if you'll be good enough 456 00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:03,979 to sign this bill, sir. 457 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,460 Bill for what? $12.00? 458 00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:08,592 One skirt-- a Klinger original. 459 00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:11,030 A casualty of my death-defying mission, sir. 460 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,335 I'll get you the material. 461 00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:13,684 The rest is up to you. 462 00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:15,034 Sold. 463 00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,687 Let me tell you how I got that stuff. 464 00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:18,341 Well, Padre, you certainly saved the day. 465 00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:20,169 Why, thank you, Colonel. 466 00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:23,346 There's nothing quite like putting one's spiritual values 467 00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:24,826 into action, is there? 468 00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:26,393 Can I assume your little escapade 469 00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:27,829 had something to do 470 00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:29,874 with what we weren't talking about? 471 00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:32,834 Oh, dear, I must have divulged too much. 472 00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:38,057 Well, you slugabeds, still on holiday? 473 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,275 Can I help you sir? 474 00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:40,885 Good heavens, what are you? 475 00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:42,713 Just a simple Lebanese psycho. 476 00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:44,106 You always look like that? 477 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,890 Absolutely not. This is disgraceful. 478 00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:47,283 I usually wear a dress. 479 00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:48,545 What can I do for you? 480 00:17:48,589 --> 00:17:50,286 I'd like to be alone with my men. 481 00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:52,114 Of course. I'll go slip into something more comfortable. 482 00:17:54,377 --> 00:17:56,858 That was probably the commanding officer. 483 00:17:58,512 --> 00:17:59,513 KLINGER: Captain? 484 00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:01,558 Captain Pierce? Captain? 485 00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:02,777 Hey. 486 00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:03,995 What is it, honey? 487 00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:05,562 Come on. You got to get up. 488 00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:07,738 -Who are you? -There's trouble in post-op. 489 00:18:07,782 --> 00:18:09,479 That English officer's back. 490 00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:11,133 He's probably going to quick-march his guys out of here. 491 00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:12,787 Over my already dead body. 492 00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:15,355 Hand me my pants, and take a pair for yourself. 493 00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:18,097 Hey, Beej, Colonel Blimp is back. 494 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:19,576 You want to come for the deflating? 495 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:21,056 [mumbling] 496 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,145 How do you like that guy? He only works 19 hours, 497 00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:25,016 and all he can think about is sleep. 498 00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:28,324 Come on, Klinger, it's Lexington and Concord all over again. 499 00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:34,069 "And now the bloke has taken a real fancy to your sister. 500 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,288 "It wouldn't surprise me 501 00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:37,551 if he popped the question before long." 502 00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:38,900 -Ooh! -Ha ha ha. 503 00:18:38,943 --> 00:18:40,554 I thought the family had given up, Billy. 504 00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:42,991 Where there's a little dowry, there's a way. 505 00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:44,471 Go on. Read your letter, Billy. 506 00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:46,516 I'm on the edge of me pillow. 507 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,215 "Percy's been out with her three times this week. 508 00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:50,564 "Once for a walk on the heath, 509 00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:53,132 "again for a toddy at the Bull n' Bush, 510 00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:55,873 and today they went to the Royal Albert Hall." 511 00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:58,659 Taking a roundabout way to get to his flat, isn't he? 512 00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:00,182 What is it this time, Major? 513 00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:01,923 Going to put the men through a few calisthenics 514 00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:03,664 to see if their sutures hold? 515 00:19:03,707 --> 00:19:05,405 Doctor, would you please spare us your diatribe 516 00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:06,928 until we're finished here? 517 00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:08,234 Uh, off you go, Michaels. 518 00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:10,540 Read your letter from home. 519 00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:12,194 Off you go, Michaels. 520 00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:13,456 Right, sir. 521 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,806 "The baby's eating solid food now. 522 00:19:15,850 --> 00:19:18,157 "I was holding her at the breakfast table, 523 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,332 "having some sausage. 524 00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:21,029 "I turned my back, 525 00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:22,726 and the little tiger ate half of Mum's banger." 526 00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:24,206 What's going on? 527 00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,947 Quiet. I'm confused. 528 00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:29,907 Hey, lads, Arsenal defeated Majesty United, 2-0. 529 00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:31,692 They're going to take the cup. 530 00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:33,215 You're barmy, mate. 531 00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:35,043 It's Queen's Park Rangers all the way. 532 00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:36,436 Oh, get away. 533 00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:37,959 They've got a lovely chance. 534 00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:38,960 Get away. 535 00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:40,788 You care to step outside? 536 00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:42,572 If I'm not back in five minutes, 537 00:19:42,616 --> 00:19:44,270 call a bobby and a cut man. 538 00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:45,488 Carry on, chaps. 539 00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:48,361 [men laughing] 540 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:50,101 You were saying? 541 00:19:50,145 --> 00:19:51,973 First of all, who are you? 542 00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:53,366 I beg your pardon? 543 00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:55,019 You're obviously not the same martinet 544 00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:56,369 who came here before. 545 00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:58,414 Whatever do you mean? 546 00:19:58,458 --> 00:20:00,416 Today you're all peaches and cream. 547 00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:02,462 Last time, there were more casualties when you left 548 00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:04,115 than when you came in. 549 00:20:04,159 --> 00:20:06,248 Young man, you've missed the whole point. 550 00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:07,989 Don't you understand? When I was here before, 551 00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:10,774 the men were hoping I'd behave exactly as I did. 552 00:20:10,818 --> 00:20:12,733 Uh, once more in English? 553 00:20:12,776 --> 00:20:15,649 Only a madman would lash out at a wounded soldier 554 00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:16,867 without reason, 555 00:20:16,911 --> 00:20:18,695 so if I come in here breathing fire, 556 00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:21,307 they realize they're going to be all right. 557 00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:23,091 You may think it rather callous, 558 00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:25,441 but, as you can see, they've responded to it. 559 00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:26,790 Oh, yes, of course-- 560 00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:29,663 the Marquis de Sade school of bedside manner. 561 00:20:29,706 --> 00:20:32,318 Doctor, my men know I wouldn't shout at them 562 00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:34,450 unless I expected them to get well. 563 00:20:34,494 --> 00:20:36,496 They believe it because I believe it. 564 00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:38,541 So your last visit was just an act. 565 00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:40,456 An act of kindness. There are times 566 00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,676 when it's better to slap a hand than hold it. 567 00:20:42,719 --> 00:20:44,025 The story of my love life. 568 00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:45,766 Ah, yes. Small wonder. 569 00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:48,116 you know, you Americans would be well-advised 570 00:20:48,159 --> 00:20:50,640 to learn a little from British tradition. 571 00:20:50,684 --> 00:20:52,642 After all, the Charge of the Light Brigade 572 00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:55,471 was as much a matter of morale as bravery. 573 00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:56,907 Jolly good, Major, 574 00:20:56,951 --> 00:20:59,475 but not all your traditions work out so well. 575 00:20:59,519 --> 00:21:01,347 For instance? 576 00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:03,436 For instance, giving your lads tea 577 00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:05,307 when they've been hit in the belly. 578 00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:08,310 That leads to another tradition-- peritonitis. 579 00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:09,964 You're sure about that? 580 00:21:10,007 --> 00:21:11,270 Quite. 581 00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:13,663 That does make a bit of sense. 582 00:21:13,707 --> 00:21:15,796 I'll take it up to higher authorities, 583 00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:18,015 but I don't know. 584 00:21:18,059 --> 00:21:20,017 If it was anything but tea... 585 00:21:20,061 --> 00:21:22,455 SOLDIER: Major, we're waiting to hear your letter now. 586 00:21:22,498 --> 00:21:24,283 Would you care to join us? Ripping good stuff. 587 00:21:24,326 --> 00:21:25,762 No, thanks. I got to get some sleep. 588 00:21:25,806 --> 00:21:27,198 If I don't get 15 minutes a night, 589 00:21:27,242 --> 00:21:28,591 I'm cranky the whole next day. 590 00:21:28,635 --> 00:21:30,680 Doctor, I, uh, 591 00:21:30,724 --> 00:21:33,901 I appreciate how much you care about my men. 592 00:21:33,944 --> 00:21:35,946 Almost as much as you do. 593 00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:38,688 We each have our different way, don't we? 594 00:21:38,732 --> 00:21:41,430 Well, you go your way, and I'll go mine. 595 00:21:52,223 --> 00:21:53,616 Ah, tastes good. 596 00:21:53,660 --> 00:21:56,053 Doc, I'm sorry I gave you such a rough time. 597 00:21:56,097 --> 00:21:57,316 It's all right. 598 00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:58,969 The time I gave you was rougher. 599 00:21:59,013 --> 00:22:00,536 Is orange juice habit-forming? 600 00:22:00,580 --> 00:22:01,885 I hope so. 601 00:22:01,929 --> 00:22:03,147 Hey, thanks again. 602 00:22:03,191 --> 00:22:05,759 My pleasure. 603 00:22:05,802 --> 00:22:07,717 HAWKEYE: This one's from my aunt Eloise. 604 00:22:07,761 --> 00:22:09,893 "Dear Benjamin, guess what. 605 00:22:09,937 --> 00:22:11,634 "Freddy Simpson sold the pharmacy 606 00:22:11,678 --> 00:22:13,636 "to a couple from Montpelier, 607 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,377 "and the chocolate phosphates haven't been the same since. 608 00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:17,553 "I think they put in too much syrup. 609 00:22:17,597 --> 00:22:19,076 "Martha doesn't agree with me, 610 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:20,556 "but you know what a sweet tooth she has. 611 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,558 "The upshot is we're no longer speaking. 612 00:22:22,602 --> 00:22:24,125 "Grandma Bates says 613 00:22:24,168 --> 00:22:26,083 "her varicose veins have been acting up again. 614 00:22:26,127 --> 00:22:27,824 "Old Doc Snyder, who also agrees with me 615 00:22:27,868 --> 00:22:29,478 "that there's too much syrup in the phosphates, 616 00:22:29,522 --> 00:22:31,480 "says it's just that her girdle is too tight. 617 00:22:31,524 --> 00:22:33,090 "He may be right. 618 00:22:33,134 --> 00:22:34,744 "She's always bought them a size too small. 619 00:22:34,788 --> 00:22:36,398 "I don't know how many times I've told her. 620 00:22:36,442 --> 00:22:38,052 That's why she walks to the left." 621 00:22:38,095 --> 00:22:39,401 Beej, what are you doing? 622 00:22:39,445 --> 00:22:41,098 I'm a hit. They love me in there. 623 00:22:53,502 --> 00:22:55,069 ♪♪ [theme] 44670

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.