Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,958 --> 00:00:04,526
♪♪ [theme]
2
00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:00,495
CHARLES:
Dear Mother and Dad,
3
00:01:00,538 --> 00:01:02,366
I've only been here
a short while,
4
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,368
but it seems forever.
5
00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:06,805
MASH 4077 is truly
a nightmare.
6
00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:09,286
It is either too cold...
7
00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:13,160
or it is unbearably hot.
8
00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:15,423
I needn't tell you again.
9
00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:20,080
I won't be happy
until I am out of here.
10
00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:24,127
I have even contemplated
11
00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:27,478
shooting myself in the foot.
12
00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:31,134
But you know how much I enjoy
the annual deb's cotillion.
13
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:32,179
Mail!
14
00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:35,443
Hunnicut, Hunnicut, Hunnicut.
15
00:01:35,486 --> 00:01:37,184
Pierce.
16
00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:40,230
And two for our high-class
society Major Winchester.
17
00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:42,232
Klinger, you are
really full of it.
18
00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:43,494
We are what we eat, sir.
19
00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:44,495
Ha!
20
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:45,801
Almost forgot--
21
00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:48,151
Captain Pierce's
nudist magazine.
22
00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:50,153
Hmm, a nudist wedding.
23
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:52,329
The bride is wearing
white sneakers.
24
00:01:52,373 --> 00:01:53,591
My Lord.
25
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,158
Sir?
26
00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:56,768
My nephew Felix
27
00:01:56,812 --> 00:01:58,292
is being discharged
from the service
28
00:01:58,335 --> 00:01:59,858
because
of fainting spells.
29
00:01:59,902 --> 00:02:01,251
Really, sir?
30
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:02,731
Mm-hmm.
They're very strange.
31
00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:04,341
Everything seems to go
sort of dark gray...
32
00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:05,821
Yes, yes?
33
00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:07,214
And then he experiences
dizziness...
34
00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:08,519
Go on.
35
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:11,348
And then he swoons
and, uh, passes out.
36
00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:12,741
Ohhh!
37
00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:15,352
Klinger, come off it.
38
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:17,833
When a person faints,
he falls forward.
39
00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:19,878
False alarm.
40
00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:21,924
[groans]
41
00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:23,404
Mail!
42
00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:26,537
Somebody sent me
a person.
43
00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:28,104
Come on, Klinger, up, up.
44
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,758
-Where am I?
-Let's go, up.
45
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:31,281
Oh, Captain Pierce.
46
00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:33,022
You got here
just in time.
47
00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:34,893
-The craziest thing happened.
-Oh, yeah?
48
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:36,547
Suddenly, everything
went a dark gray.
49
00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,245
Then I experienced dizziness.
50
00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:39,985
Then I fainted,
falling forward.
51
00:02:40,029 --> 00:02:42,640
-What is that?
-I think you got a whiff
of your own breath.
52
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:44,555
Sorry. My mother
sent me a garlic pie.
53
00:02:44,599 --> 00:02:45,600
Want dibs?
54
00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,079
I had an apple
on the train.
55
00:02:47,123 --> 00:02:48,342
Attention, all personnel--
56
00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:49,995
Colonel Potter speaking.
57
00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:52,346
Klinger, where
the hell's the mail?
58
00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:54,696
I love that man.
59
00:02:54,739 --> 00:02:56,741
Uh-oh.
Peg got poison oak.
60
00:02:56,785 --> 00:02:57,873
-Where?
-In the woods.
61
00:02:57,916 --> 00:02:59,744
That can be painful.
62
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:02,921
Mm. Frazier Continental
down seven points.
63
00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:04,749
B.J.:
Who they playing?
64
00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:07,491
A major financial loss
is hardly a laughing matter.
65
00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:08,884
I apologize.
66
00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:10,320
Do you expect me
to believe that?
67
00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:11,408
I wouldn't if I were you.
68
00:03:11,452 --> 00:03:12,627
This is incredible!
69
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,237
-What what?
-I'm going to heaven.
70
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:15,673
That isincredible.
71
00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:17,545
Beej, you remember
Nurse Gilmore?
72
00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:19,373
She was engaged
to the Navy dentist.
73
00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:20,896
Well, she just became
disengaged.
74
00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:22,985
All of a sudden,
the red light has
turned green,
75
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:25,596
and she's inviting me
to spend the weekend
with her in Seoul.
76
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,685
Sounds like she's making
a three-day pass at you.
77
00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:29,252
I can't believe it.
78
00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:31,298
To think that someone
with such grace, wit,
79
00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:33,256
sensibility,
intelligence, and charm
80
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,823
would be sending
for little old me.
81
00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:35,867
Who'd have thought it?
82
00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:37,217
Certainly not I.
83
00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:39,044
This woman has
the patent on wonderful.
84
00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:40,263
Smell that.
Is she wonderful?
85
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:41,438
Yeah, wonderful.
86
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:43,092
Oh, that's wonderful.
87
00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:45,268
A pity you have to decline
the invitation, Pierce.
88
00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:48,140
You are officer of the day
all weekend.
89
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,577
Beej, take O.D. For me.
90
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:50,839
I can't, I'm in O.R.
91
00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:55,278
[chuckling]
92
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:57,106
Charles, come on,
as a friend.
93
00:03:57,149 --> 00:03:58,542
Not even as an enemy.
94
00:03:58,586 --> 00:03:59,848
Charles!
95
00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:02,111
Sorry.
O.D.-- odious duty.
96
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:04,331
I've already done mine.
Weekend's your turn.
97
00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:06,811
Look, I'll take all your duty
for the next three days
98
00:04:06,855 --> 00:04:08,248
if you'll just work
this weekend.
99
00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:10,293
I hate working weekends.
100
00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:11,642
What difference does it make?
101
00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:13,035
Every day
is a holiday in Korea.
102
00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:14,950
It's just the thought.
103
00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:16,560
I'll let you
use my after shave.
104
00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:18,606
Kerosene makes me break out.
105
00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:19,781
Money?
106
00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:22,262
You can't buy me.
107
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:24,525
How much?
108
00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:25,656
How much did you lose
109
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,005
on the Frazier
Continental thing?
110
00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:29,094
-$4,000.
-Deal.
111
00:04:29,138 --> 00:04:31,009
Come on. How much
have you really got?
112
00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:33,142
$12.80.
113
00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:35,100
Ha! Boutonniere money.
114
00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:37,059
-He'll owe you the rest.
-Sorry.
115
00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:39,627
Charles, you don't understand!
This woman-- She--
116
00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:42,630
Roses have fistfights to see
who could smell like her.
117
00:04:42,673 --> 00:04:45,328
Her wit is so sharp,
you could shave with it.
118
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:47,156
When they heard the sound
of her laughter,
119
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:48,897
six nightingales
got out of the business.
120
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:50,159
This-- She's got--
121
00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:52,857
All right, all right,
all right.
122
00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:55,207
I'm giving in
merely because
123
00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:57,906
I can use a three-day
vacation from you.
124
00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,342
Now please
don't get the idea
125
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,865
that I'm doing it
126
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:04,391
because I'm generous,
or worse, amiable.
127
00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,436
Trust me, no one
will ever think of you
128
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,351
as anything
but completely rotten.
129
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:09,961
Thank you.
130
00:05:10,005 --> 00:05:11,920
Hee hee hee!
131
00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:13,443
Listen, I need
some clean shirts.
132
00:05:13,487 --> 00:05:15,227
The laundry lady
broke her rock.
133
00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:17,142
Why don't these people
get a service contract?
134
00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:19,144
I need shirts, shorts,
socks, and a jeep.
135
00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:20,363
What size jeep?
136
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,712
34, loose in the seat.
137
00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:22,974
You could use a haircut.
138
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:24,367
Let's see Klinger
about the jeep.
139
00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:26,935
How's my nostril hair?
140
00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:28,763
I'd look, but I'm
afraid of the dark.
141
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,811
Sorry. A brief interruption.
142
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:35,726
Pierce and Hunnicut
were regaling each other
143
00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:40,992
with their version of wit,
dirty laundry, and nose hair.
144
00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:44,039
Constant exposure to these
two cretins annoys me
145
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:45,388
and aggravates my--
146
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:47,564
my misery
more than I can tell you.
147
00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:50,828
But, always hopeful,
I'm endearing myself
148
00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:54,049
to the C.O., the man
responsible for my presence
149
00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:57,444
in this... cesspool.
150
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:59,794
He's a tough, bandy-legged
little mustang,
151
00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:00,795
but guess what.
152
00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:02,274
He paints.
153
00:06:02,318 --> 00:06:03,798
He's somewhat
of a primitive.
154
00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:05,626
He's no Churchill, surely.
155
00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:08,324
But I have agreed
to pose for him.
156
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,631
Raise your chin
a little, Winchester.
157
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:13,982
Boy, you've got a tough ear.
It's all lobe.
158
00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,331
Dad's.
159
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,637
Fat-eared cuss, eh?
160
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,291
May I... speak, sir?
161
00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:21,293
As long as you don't
move that ear.
162
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:23,470
Sir, I have been here
interminably.
163
00:06:23,513 --> 00:06:25,472
Time flies
when you've got good duty.
164
00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:26,908
Sir, you don't
understand.
165
00:06:26,951 --> 00:06:28,475
I feel that
my talents are such--
166
00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:30,346
-I cleaned your brushes, sir.
-Good man.
167
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,652
Couldn't find
any turpentine,
168
00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:33,175
so I used
yesterday's soup.
169
00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:36,004
Cleanest they've been
in years.
170
00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:37,527
Gee, that's wonderful, sir.
171
00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,268
-Thank you.
-Who is that?
172
00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:43,577
Guess.
173
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,317
I better go polish
your horse.
174
00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:49,757
As I was saying, sir,
175
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,020
I feel I could be
more useful in Tokyo
176
00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:53,630
or even... the States.
177
00:06:53,674 --> 00:06:55,023
Not to me, Commissioner.
178
00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:56,459
This meatball surgery
of yours
179
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:57,765
is causing my skills
to deteriorate.
180
00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,114
They're wasting away.
181
00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:00,637
Don't change the color
of your face!
182
00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:01,899
I'm out of umber!
183
00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:03,074
And I'm out of patience!
184
00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:04,511
This place is driving me mad!
185
00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:05,686
Cool off, Winchester!
186
00:07:05,729 --> 00:07:06,817
How can I cool off
187
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:07,992
in this godforsaken pesthole?
188
00:07:08,036 --> 00:07:09,559
You're here,
so get used to it.
189
00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:12,214
You haven't lifted a finger
to get me transferred.
190
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:13,476
That's right,
and I don't intend to.
191
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,217
I certainly think
you ought to consider--
192
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,654
Not again, Major! I've had
enough of your beefing!
193
00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:21,049
I need you here,
and you'll stay here
like the rest of us.
194
00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:23,617
Here. Your face is finished.
195
00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:29,449
Father, you must know
someone influential.
196
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:32,147
I know.
197
00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:34,410
What about that former
brigadier general
198
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,412
who's now a doorman
at The Plaza?
199
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,502
I understand he's very close
to Arthur Godfrey.
200
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:43,201
Well, keep trying.
201
00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:44,681
Please.
202
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:50,600
Interesting thing
about military units.
203
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:52,384
Quite often, one discovers
204
00:07:52,428 --> 00:07:54,561
that the actual
day-to-day routine
205
00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:58,086
is dependent upon
one small enlisted man.
206
00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:00,392
Here at 4077,
207
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:05,006
it's a myopic farm boy--
Corporal Radar O'Reilly.
208
00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:06,529
Okay,
there's a razor in here
209
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:09,140
and some shaving cream
and a toothbrush.
210
00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:10,664
Oh, by the way,
211
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,970
I got you two T-shirts
from the officers' supply.
212
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:14,755
-Oh, gee. That's really--
-Shh, shh.
213
00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:16,539
If anybody found out,
I wouldn't be allowed
214
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:17,801
to see the movie
for a month.
215
00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:19,020
Oh. Shh.
216
00:08:19,063 --> 00:08:20,456
Saturday's Bogart.
217
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,718
[imitating Bogart]
Waiter,
218
00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:23,459
if me and the boys
wanted to eat mucilage,
219
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,200
we would have
ordered mucilage.
220
00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:28,725
Listen, remember what
Captain Hunnicut said
221
00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:31,249
about your pills.
The purple ones are for pain.
222
00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:33,338
That's P for pain,
P for purple.
223
00:08:33,382 --> 00:08:34,688
The white ones
are for sleep.
224
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:37,908
W for white,
W for sleep.
225
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:39,257
W for...
226
00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:40,824
Well, you can work that out.
227
00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,565
All that's on the bottles.
228
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:45,525
Oh, yeah.
That's a good idea.
229
00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:47,352
Okay, your bus
leaves in an hour.
230
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:48,963
Get to the departure
lounge early.
231
00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:50,747
That's the dead tree
by the latrine.
232
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:52,140
Listen, Corporal,
233
00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:54,316
my buddy in that bed
leaves tomorrow.
234
00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:55,752
Can I stay one more day
and go with him?
235
00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:57,101
We've been together
since basic.
236
00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:58,668
Oh, sure. I could
work that out.
237
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:01,149
Certainly not. You go when
you're scheduled, soldier.
238
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,152
Thanks for nothing.
239
00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:05,762
Don't worry about him.
I can fix it.
240
00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:08,460
Oh. Captain!
He's the chief surgeon.
241
00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:09,940
What is it, Radar?
I'm in a hurry.
242
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,594
I got to get
my body to Seoul.
243
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:13,204
Yes, sir. McCloud wants
to wait till tomorrow
244
00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:14,728
and go home
with his buddy,
245
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:16,468
but Major Winchester says
he's got to go today.
246
00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:19,167
Winchester, Winchester.
Tall chap.
247
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,996
Looks like a cat who's
swallowed a sour mouse?
248
00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:24,085
Don't worry about it.
Go tomorrow.
249
00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:25,434
What does the war care?
250
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:26,870
Hey, thank you, sir.
251
00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:29,003
Say, you carry a lot
of weight around here.
252
00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:30,482
Oh, yeah.
253
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:32,136
Hey, listen,
while you're waiting,
254
00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:34,225
have you seen
our cockroach collection?
255
00:09:34,269 --> 00:09:36,271
Uh, no.
256
00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:39,187
Takes an hour, but it's
well worth your time.
257
00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:43,104
The humidity here
is disastrous.
258
00:09:43,147 --> 00:09:46,150
Please send me some deodorant.
259
00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:48,152
I don't care about the others,
260
00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:51,852
I don't want
to offend myself.
261
00:09:51,895 --> 00:09:54,681
To continue
about Corporal O'Reilly,
262
00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:58,728
I upset him the other day,
which I can ill-afford to do.
263
00:09:58,772 --> 00:10:01,513
His telephone is my sole contact
with the outside world.
264
00:10:01,557 --> 00:10:05,474
I must attempt to mollify him
and try to contact Tokyo.
265
00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:12,742
Corporal, I was rather harsh
with you in post-op. Remember?
266
00:10:12,786 --> 00:10:16,790
Well, I brought you this case
of grape Nehi as an apology.
267
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:20,489
Oh, grape Nehi. At Rosie's
it costs me a buck a bottle.
268
00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:23,144
Price is no object
when you're doing
something for a friend.
269
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:26,190
-Colonel Potter
says no long distance--
-I want to make a call--
270
00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:27,670
-...phone calls.
-...to Colonel Baldwin
in Seoul.
271
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:29,324
How did you know
I was gonna say that?
272
00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:31,108
That's why they
call me Radar.
273
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:33,197
-This is an emergency.
-Even in an emergency.
274
00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:36,897
Can you tell me what I'm
about to say now?
275
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,681
Yes, sir,
276
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:41,249
but I promised Father Mulcahy
I wouldn't use those words.
277
00:10:45,296 --> 00:10:46,515
-[door slamming]
-[bottle top popping open]
278
00:10:57,526 --> 00:10:59,484
Come on, Beej,
you've got to have
a pair of pajamas.
279
00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:01,312
Look around. You had a pair
when you got here.
280
00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:02,923
I had a lot of things
when I got here--
281
00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:05,099
Faith, hope,
sanity, a liver.
282
00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:08,102
Aah! Ew! Charming.
283
00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:09,625
I wouldn't wear that.
284
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,148
You're right,
it's too hot for fur.
285
00:11:11,192 --> 00:11:13,063
-Wait, wait, wait!
-What, what, what?
286
00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:14,151
Don't throw it
toward the kitchen.
287
00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:15,413
You know how they are.
288
00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:16,937
Eww! Ugh!
289
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,982
Oh, good, one down,
two to go.
290
00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:20,810
Charlie, you got pajamas.
Just lend me one pair.
291
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:21,985
-No.
-Just the tops.
292
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:23,378
-No.
-The bottoms.
293
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:25,510
-You can keep the string.
-Forget it.
294
00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:26,990
All right, but you're
no longer my best friend.
295
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:28,688
-What about you?
-No pajamas, Hawk.
296
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:30,254
You'll have to rely
on your personality.
297
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:31,473
-Got you a jeep. -Great.
298
00:11:31,516 --> 00:11:33,127
Klinger, can you
loan him some pajamas?
299
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:35,303
No, but I got a lovely
low-cut peignoir,
300
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,305
chickadee red,
with oriental peacocks
301
00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:38,610
embroidered
over each breast.
302
00:11:38,654 --> 00:11:40,003
Sounds pretty risqué.
303
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:42,179
It should be for eight
books of green stamps.
304
00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:43,354
Get out of here!
305
00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:47,707
Socks, shorts, shirts...
306
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,012
after shave.
307
00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:52,668
Be my guest.
Babalu number five.
308
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,452
One for the master,
309
00:11:54,496 --> 00:11:56,106
one for the desk clerk,
310
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,326
and one for the little girl
who waits in the room.
311
00:11:58,369 --> 00:11:59,457
Laundry.
312
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:01,198
Oh, good!
You got your rock fixed.
313
00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:02,722
Five bucks.
314
00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:03,984
See him.
315
00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:05,725
Five bucks.
316
00:12:05,768 --> 00:12:07,727
He gets the cleaning,
and I get cleaned.
317
00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:11,034
Shirts, socks, shorts.
318
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,428
Ahh! Pajamas!
319
00:12:13,471 --> 00:12:15,299
Those are mine, Pierce.
320
00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:16,648
Just for two nights.
321
00:12:16,692 --> 00:12:18,172
My mother gave me these
for my birthday.
322
00:12:18,215 --> 00:12:19,651
It's time they went
to a party.
323
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:20,696
Pierce--
324
00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:23,960
with my compliments.
325
00:12:24,004 --> 00:12:25,788
Man [on P.A.]:
Attention, all personnel.
326
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,268
Incoming wounded.
327
00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:29,400
Oh, no, no, no!
I'm going to Seoul.
328
00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:30,880
-Let's go, lover.
-You don't understand.
329
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:33,230
Gilmore, roses,
nightingales, room service.
330
00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:36,059
No, no, no. O.R., blood,
sutures, scalpels.
331
00:12:36,103 --> 00:12:37,626
No, no, no, no!
332
00:12:37,669 --> 00:12:39,106
No, no, no!
333
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:44,154
Dad, you have got
to get me out of here.
334
00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:45,677
Talk to Senator Grizwald.
335
00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:47,288
After all, you paid
good money for him.
336
00:12:55,862 --> 00:13:00,344
I am doing my best... to...
337
00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:06,437
adjust to these
bizarre people.
338
00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:10,180
There is a transvestite
corporal
339
00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:13,793
with dreadful taste in clothes,
340
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:18,841
and a head nurse
who is part seductress
341
00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:21,975
and part Attila the Hun.
342
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:23,977
You did beautifully,
Doctor,
343
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,892
removing shrapnel
from that liver.
344
00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:28,198
Thank you. I was graded
quite highly in liver.
345
00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:30,070
I didn't know you had
a sense of humor.
346
00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:31,811
I haven't.
347
00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:33,073
I suppose you've
performed that operation
348
00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:34,422
a hundred times.
349
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:35,553
Hardly. There's
very little shrapnel
350
00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:37,251
flying around Boston.
351
00:13:37,294 --> 00:13:38,948
You do have
a sense of humor.
352
00:13:38,992 --> 00:13:41,864
Humor is the opiate
of the incompetent.
353
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:44,911
Terrific words just roll
right out of your mouth.
354
00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:46,303
It must be wonderful.
355
00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:47,565
No, my dear.
356
00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:50,133
Brilliance can be
very lonely.
357
00:13:50,177 --> 00:13:51,831
Things are getting
a dark gray.
358
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:54,485
The room is swimming.
I'm going, I'm going.
359
00:13:54,529 --> 00:13:55,660
Save the towels.
360
00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:57,010
Oh, Klinger.
361
00:13:57,053 --> 00:13:58,359
Pay no attention.
362
00:13:58,402 --> 00:13:59,751
It's a new
discharge ploy.
363
00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:00,927
Big mistake.
364
00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:02,406
Always know your audience.
365
00:14:02,450 --> 00:14:04,669
I hate a guy who stays
through two shows.
366
00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:05,801
[moaning]
367
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:06,889
Something wrong?
368
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:08,673
My eye.
369
00:14:08,717 --> 00:14:10,762
I think there's
something in my eye.
370
00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:12,199
Would you mind?
371
00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:13,417
Huh.
372
00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:14,723
I'll get closer.
373
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:19,162
I see no foreign matter.
374
00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:22,252
You have such small pores.
375
00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:24,428
A Winchester
never perspires.
376
00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:25,865
There's absolutely
nothing in your eye.
377
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,475
I can feel it.
378
00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:29,259
I'll check again.
379
00:14:31,392 --> 00:14:32,915
Oh, terribly sorry.
380
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:34,830
I didn't mean
to interrupt.
381
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,223
Oh, dear.
382
00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:39,356
Father, there's no need
for "Oh, dear."
383
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,010
I'm a married woman.
384
00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:42,794
Oh, yes, of course.
385
00:14:42,838 --> 00:14:44,100
I forgot.
386
00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:45,536
Well, pax vobiscum.
387
00:14:47,277 --> 00:14:50,585
I'm not sure he believes
there was no hanky-panky.
388
00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:51,934
Well, there wasn't.
389
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,196
Then why are you sweating?
390
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,810
I can see her now,
checking her watch
391
00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:00,900
-for the 60th time this minute.
-Watch what you're doing.
392
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:01,988
You'll turn yourself
into a living statue.
393
00:15:02,031 --> 00:15:03,424
I got to get to Seoul.
394
00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:05,121
As long as you're
plastering yourself,
395
00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:06,949
you might as well
do the walls too.
396
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,342
Colonel, I got to talk to you.
397
00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:10,692
Hurry up before that stuff
in your mouth hardens.
398
00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:11,954
What do I have to do
to get out of here?
399
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:13,434
I operated on 30 people.
400
00:15:13,477 --> 00:15:15,740
I've bandaged everybody
in post-op three times.
401
00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:17,481
I repaired
the anesthesia machine.
402
00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:19,919
I've mixed enough plaster
of Paris to plaster Paris.
403
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:21,703
And speaking of Paris,
404
00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:23,444
if I don't amour toujours
in Seoul ce soir,
405
00:15:23,487 --> 00:15:25,141
you're gonna have an unknown
soldier on your hands.
406
00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:27,013
Okay, I'll stand in for you.
407
00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:29,754
Thank you. Thank you.
I'd give you a hug,
408
00:15:29,798 --> 00:15:32,061
but in my condition,
I might not be able to stop.
409
00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:34,542
B.J., Corporal Graham's
bleeding and going into shock.
410
00:15:35,804 --> 00:15:37,327
I'll have
to open him up again.
411
00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:38,807
Go!
412
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,201
Sorry, son.
413
00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:42,680
Who's complaining?
Look at me.
414
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:44,856
I'm one foot closer
to Seoul.
415
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:46,597
CHARLES: Our spiritual guide
416
00:15:46,641 --> 00:15:48,904
through this Oriental
purgatory
417
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:52,255
is a cockeyed optimist
who sounds like Dennis Day.
418
00:15:53,648 --> 00:15:55,171
-Ah!
-Hello.
419
00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:56,346
Good news, Major.
420
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:58,435
-Hot water thawed?
-Better.
421
00:15:58,479 --> 00:16:01,003
One of your patients
will recover.
422
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:03,745
Don't pull your cross
on me, Lieutenant.
423
00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:05,834
Oh! Forgive me.
424
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:09,272
What I mean is Doren,
that highly critical patient,
425
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:11,013
was saved by your operation.
426
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,145
Oh.
427
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:14,016
My prayers were answered.
428
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,540
-Thank God.
-Thank me, Father.
429
00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:19,195
I'd prefer to think
that my surgical
skills are responsible.
430
00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:21,893
Aha! That's
what I prayed for.
431
00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:28,074
One of my tentmates
432
00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:29,901
is a relatively
inoffensive chap
433
00:16:29,945 --> 00:16:31,729
named B.J. Hunnicut.
434
00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:34,036
Excellent surgeon,
in spite of the fact
435
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,559
that he was born, raised,
436
00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:39,476
and studied in...
California.
437
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,130
Notwithstanding,
438
00:16:41,174 --> 00:16:43,306
he's certainly no adult
delinquent like Pierce.
439
00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:45,352
I was quite touched
by Hunnicut's concern
440
00:16:45,395 --> 00:16:47,745
for my mysterious loss
of weight a month ago.
441
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:53,621
Hunnicut.
442
00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:54,883
Winchester.
443
00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:56,667
Where's your friend
Pierce?
444
00:16:56,711 --> 00:16:57,842
Today's Thursday.
445
00:16:57,886 --> 00:16:59,627
So?
446
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:01,629
Nurses hang their underwear
on the line.
447
00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:03,935
He takes a sandwich
and makes a day of it.
448
00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:07,939
Nudist magazines,
underwear watching.
449
00:17:07,983 --> 00:17:10,986
Why this constant
preoccupation with sex?
450
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,901
Lack of occupationwith sex.
451
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:13,858
Humph.
452
00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:16,731
Good Lord.
453
00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:18,472
What's the matter?
454
00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:21,692
Well, I never
noticed it before.
455
00:17:21,736 --> 00:17:23,303
I seem to have
dropped some weight.
456
00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:25,609
You certainly have.
Must not be eating enough.
457
00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:27,133
I can't stand the food.
458
00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:28,786
Tell you
what you got to do.
459
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:29,961
When you've been here
as long as I have,
460
00:17:30,005 --> 00:17:31,789
you learn to use
internal propaganda.
461
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,617
Your brain has to teach
your taste buds
462
00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:35,663
to lie to your stomach.
463
00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:37,317
You've made
that adjustment?
464
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,275
Not necessary for me.
My wife's a lousy cook.
465
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:40,407
Oh, come now.
466
00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:42,278
Really?
You don't believe me?
467
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:44,454
Try some of this cake,
but be careful.
468
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:49,111
See?
469
00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:51,287
Now wait,
this isn't bad.
470
00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:52,288
Really?
471
00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:53,724
In fact, it's delicious.
472
00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:55,813
Very good.
You catch on fast.
473
00:17:55,857 --> 00:17:56,858
Have some more.
474
00:17:56,901 --> 00:17:57,902
One piece, perhaps.
475
00:17:57,946 --> 00:17:59,034
Take the whole thing.
476
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,035
-I couldn't.
-Please.
477
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:00,992
Thank you.
478
00:18:04,779 --> 00:18:06,128
My...
479
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:07,869
this food is...
480
00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:10,263
disappointing.
481
00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:11,655
Forgive the cook,
Father,
482
00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:13,222
for he knows not
what he does.
483
00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:16,617
That's a great deal
of food, Major.
484
00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:19,315
Man's been losing weight,
Father, wasting away.
485
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,230
He looks the same to me.
486
00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,276
Looks the same,
you say?
487
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:25,147
This frail,
emaciated nebbish
488
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:27,018
is not the same
robust surgeon
489
00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:29,151
who recently
swelled our ranks.
490
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,110
Put a little pepper
in your powdered eggs.
491
00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:33,199
Kills
the warehouse flavor.
492
00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:35,375
I still can't see
any difference.
493
00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:37,551
Father, observe
the hollowed cheeks,
494
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:38,900
sunken eyes.
495
00:18:38,943 --> 00:18:41,076
Soon you could play
xylophone on these ribs.
496
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,122
Oh, that burns.
497
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:44,601
I'll take that
sweet roll, Hunnicut.
498
00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:46,081
Be my guest, Charles.
499
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,300
We'll have those pants
filled out in no time.
500
00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:48,344
Here. Take this.
501
00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:50,129
-Potato?
-Rumor has it.
502
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:51,173
Drink your milk,
Charles.
503
00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:52,305
Thank you, Hunnicut.
504
00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:53,697
Don't talk with
your mouth full.
505
00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:54,742
Eat, eat.
506
00:18:58,224 --> 00:18:59,181
All clear.
507
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:00,748
Now whose are these?
508
00:19:00,791 --> 00:19:01,792
Levine's.
509
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:02,837
Bean pole Levine?
510
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,055
The same.
511
00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:05,187
I'm glad you're
not my enemy.
512
00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:06,449
Never assume.
Check the door.
513
00:19:07,624 --> 00:19:09,191
Clap hands.
Here comes Charlie.
514
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:10,975
[laughing]
515
00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:12,281
Shh!
516
00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:13,456
You're a vicious fiend.
517
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,197
-Worse than you?
-By far.
518
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:17,112
Nicest thing you ever
said to me. Thank you.
519
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,331
-Oh, my pleasure.
-My pleasure.
520
00:19:18,374 --> 00:19:19,767
Any time.
521
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:20,985
Do I actually hear
the sound of manners?
522
00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:21,986
This is a recording.
523
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:22,987
Of course.
524
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:26,687
Hey.
525
00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:28,036
Hmm?
526
00:19:28,079 --> 00:19:29,298
Does this look
like fungus?
527
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:33,128
You're going to meet
a curly-headed woman
528
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,261
with a large mole
and a Desoto sedan.
529
00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:39,047
Fulcrum
school of comedy.
530
00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:40,918
Raise your arms
and lower the humor.
531
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:43,921
You all right,
Charles?
532
00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:45,009
Everything okay?
533
00:19:45,053 --> 00:19:46,750
Uh, I...
534
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:49,188
can't seem to button
my trousers.
535
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:50,232
You've forgotten how?
536
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:52,191
No. It's just
537
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:53,322
that I have been
eating like a horse
538
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:55,411
for the past month.
539
00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:57,544
I seem to have put
about three inches...
540
00:19:57,587 --> 00:20:00,329
around the... middle.
541
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:06,161
Well, I'd say
it's time for a diet.
542
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,684
Maybe some exercise.
543
00:20:07,728 --> 00:20:09,773
Yes, and now.
544
00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:12,123
-Now.
-Mm-hmm.
545
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:18,782
So, uh, what's next
with him?
546
00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:21,785
Starting tomorrow,
he gets taller.
547
00:20:24,397 --> 00:20:26,529
What a time to get hit
with another load of wounded.
548
00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:28,705
I should have been in Seoul
in Gilmore's arms last night.
549
00:20:28,749 --> 00:20:30,054
She'll keep.
550
00:20:30,098 --> 00:20:32,274
If room service
doesn't run out of ice.
551
00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:34,581
More silk. More 3.0 silk.
Come on, hurry.
552
00:20:34,624 --> 00:20:36,365
Slow down, hot pants.
553
00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:38,367
This will be your last
patient. I promise.
554
00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:39,847
Anybody need any help?
555
00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:41,152
Father,
would you run down
556
00:20:41,196 --> 00:20:42,763
to the Regency Hotel
in Seoul
557
00:20:42,806 --> 00:20:44,286
and keep a young lady
company till I get there?
558
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:46,070
You I can trust.
559
00:20:46,114 --> 00:20:48,421
I'm afraid she'll have to
settle for the Gideon Bible.
560
00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:51,467
Now you see here
what I've done here is
561
00:20:51,511 --> 00:20:54,209
I've done the anastomosis
in two layers,
562
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:57,734
a chromic for the mucosa,
and silk for the cirrosa.
563
00:20:57,778 --> 00:20:59,910
This way, you see, it won't
have to be redone later.
564
00:20:59,954 --> 00:21:01,564
Come on, Charles.
565
00:21:01,608 --> 00:21:03,131
You're taking twice as long
with that guy as necessary.
566
00:21:03,174 --> 00:21:04,915
Patch them up
and save their lives.
567
00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:07,004
Let Tokyo General
press the lapels.
568
00:21:07,048 --> 00:21:09,442
If it wasn't for you,
I could have been
out of here an hour ago.
569
00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:12,749
I am merely sharing my expertise
with the less learned.
570
00:21:12,793 --> 00:21:15,274
Oh, put it in a sack.
Klinger!
571
00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:17,101
Somewhere
through a misty haze
572
00:21:17,145 --> 00:21:18,364
I hear my name called.
573
00:21:18,407 --> 00:21:19,495
Any more patients
out there?
574
00:21:19,539 --> 00:21:20,714
-Just one.
-Bring him in.
575
00:21:20,757 --> 00:21:21,671
He's here.
576
00:21:23,238 --> 00:21:24,413
Up! Up!
577
00:21:24,457 --> 00:21:26,067
One more phony faint,
578
00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:28,069
and you're
on the front lines.
579
00:21:28,112 --> 00:21:29,766
Get this patient
into post-op.
580
00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:31,333
Sir, you're turning mean.
581
00:21:31,377 --> 00:21:32,813
After 12 hours
of surgery,
582
00:21:32,856 --> 00:21:34,641
what do you expect--
Albert Schweitzer?
583
00:21:34,684 --> 00:21:35,816
Out! Out!
584
00:21:37,426 --> 00:21:38,993
Need any help, Pierce?
585
00:21:39,036 --> 00:21:40,908
Almost finished.
586
00:21:40,951 --> 00:21:43,214
Ah! A scar is born.
587
00:21:43,258 --> 00:21:47,131
And with that,
I bid you a hasty adieu.
588
00:21:47,175 --> 00:21:48,742
Bye, all.
589
00:21:48,785 --> 00:21:51,266
Your jeep will be here
in a minute.
590
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,529
Klinger, I thank you,
591
00:21:53,573 --> 00:21:55,923
and Nancy thanks you,
if she's still speaking to us.
592
00:21:55,966 --> 00:21:58,273
You know, that uniform
looks great.
593
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,667
-It's one of a kind.
-Uh-huh.
594
00:22:00,710 --> 00:22:03,060
My mother made it for me
for the school play
595
00:22:03,104 --> 00:22:04,235
out of crepe paper.
596
00:22:05,976 --> 00:22:09,458
Rapunzel, Rapunzel,
let down your...
597
00:22:09,502 --> 00:22:11,895
[jeep approaching]
598
00:22:17,205 --> 00:22:18,685
[horn honking]
599
00:22:18,728 --> 00:22:20,251
Captain.
600
00:22:20,295 --> 00:22:21,383
Captain!
601
00:22:21,427 --> 00:22:22,819
Captain Pierce?
602
00:22:24,212 --> 00:22:26,432
Hey, Captain, time to go.
603
00:22:26,475 --> 00:22:28,434
Come on. You know.
604
00:22:36,529 --> 00:22:38,095
Thanks, Nancy.
605
00:23:05,296 --> 00:23:10,432
Finally, a peaceful moment
to conclude this tape.
606
00:23:10,476 --> 00:23:14,088
The would-be Lothario,
Pierce, is sound asleep,
607
00:23:14,131 --> 00:23:18,005
and the 38-hour day is done.
608
00:23:18,048 --> 00:23:21,095
Now, Mother and Dad,
609
00:23:21,138 --> 00:23:27,275
I will put this as eloquently
and succinctly... as possible.
610
00:23:34,151 --> 00:23:36,763
Get me the hell out of here!
611
00:23:50,516 --> 00:23:51,821
♪♪ [theme]
42409
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.