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♪ It seems today
that all you see
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00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:09,074
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:12,777
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,864
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:19,151
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:22,487
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
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00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:24,167
♪ All the things
that make us
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00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:25,791
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:30,862
♪ He's a family guy ♪
10
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:39,098
Good evening.
I'm Diane Simmons.
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00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:42,301
In traffic news,heavy gridlock onthe 195 interchange.
12
00:00:42,325 --> 00:00:45,627
We now go liveto Drunk Billy in theChannel Five newscopter.
13
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:53,669
This just in.
Channel Five newscopter pilot
Drunk Billy passed away today.
14
00:00:53,737 --> 00:00:55,014
In anticipation of this event,
15
00:00:55,038 --> 00:00:56,483
we put together a clip package
16
00:00:56,507 --> 00:00:59,041
featuring some of
Billy's work for
Channel Five News.
17
00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:16,018
"I'm still hungry,"
said the very
hungry caterpillar.
18
00:01:16,042 --> 00:01:17,242
"But you've already..."
19
00:01:21,798 --> 00:01:23,726
Drunk Billy will be missed.
20
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,828
But what you shouldn't miss
is the Quahog Rodeo,
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00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:29,088
coming to the Civic
Center this Friday.
Tickets are on sale now.
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00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:30,833
And for those of
you who are handy
with a horse,
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00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:32,741
entry spots are still open.
24
00:01:32,809 --> 00:01:34,404
Oh, God. This seems
like the kind
of thing Peter...
25
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,794
Too late, Brian.
26
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:38,163
Peter, you're gonna
enter the rodeo?
That's stupid.
27
00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:40,966
You don't know anything
about horses and you're
in terrible shape.
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00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:43,012
You know, that's
the difference between
you and me, Lois.
29
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:44,380
When life comes
knocking at the door,
30
00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:45,682
you go and hide in the kitchen.
31
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:47,417
I fling the door
wide open and I say,
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00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,286
"Peter Griffin here.
What do you got?"
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00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:51,788
And if that don't
convince you, look at this.
In this week's TV Guide,
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00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:53,456
it says,
"Peter gets more than
he bargained for
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00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:54,896
"when he joins the rodeo."
36
00:01:54,965 --> 00:01:56,248
Well, it's in the Guide.
37
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:57,660
Hey, can we make that a thing?
38
00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,918
Can we start calling TV Guide
"the Guide"?
39
00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:02,365
You know what?
I'm not even asking anymore.
That's what we're doing.
40
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:04,417
Who says I couldn't
be a rodeo star?
41
00:02:04,441 --> 00:02:07,604
I got more
cowboy blood in me
than Billy the Kid.
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00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:14,366
♪ Well, he robbed his way
from Utah to Oklahoma
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00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:18,003
♪ And the lawjust could not seemto track him down
44
00:02:19,923 --> 00:02:21,818
♪ And it served
his legend well
45
00:02:23,077 --> 00:02:25,393
♪ For the folks,
they loved to tell
46
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:30,098
♪ About whenBilly the Kidcame to town ♪
47
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,403
Dad! What are you doing?
48
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:28,712
All right, Meg,
this is only gonna hurt
for about three weeks.
49
00:03:29,059 --> 00:03:30,224
What the hell?
50
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:33,044
That there's my steer, Griffin.
51
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,112
All right, Lois.
Go ahead. Say it.
52
00:03:41,237 --> 00:03:43,271
Chris! It's time for supper!
53
00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:47,336
Whoa, there!
Whoa, there!
Whoa, there!
54
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:48,872
Whoa, there!
Whoa, there!
Whoa, there!
55
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,506
Whoa, there!
Whoa, there!
Whoa, there!
56
00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:53,543
Whoa, there!
Whoa, there!
Whoa, there!
57
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,328
Whoa, there!
Whoa, there!
Whoa, there!
58
00:03:57,504 --> 00:04:00,038
All right. I am ready
for the rodeo.
59
00:04:04,094 --> 00:04:05,922
Mom, when's it Dad's turn?
60
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,095
I don't know, Chris.
61
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,774
But I think we should all
pray for your father
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00:04:08,798 --> 00:04:10,616
that he comes out
of this uninjured.
63
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:13,568
Those horses stink.
And it's too hot in here.
64
00:04:13,637 --> 00:04:16,538
I fell asleep in the car,
so now I'm cranky.
65
00:04:16,607 --> 00:04:18,556
This is a disgusting display.
66
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:20,091
Boy, you can say that again.
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00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,094
Nothing like
a bunch of adult men
teasing animals for fun.
68
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:25,441
You know they
twist the bull's balls
before they run out,
69
00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:26,943
and that's why
they're so jacked up.
70
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:28,934
It's amazing that
this is still legal.
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00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:31,903
The only reason I'm here
is 'cause my idiot friend
is in the rodeo.
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00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,450
I only came
'cause I'm writing
a magazine article.
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00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:37,714
One of the competitors
is a 13-year-old female
riding prodigy.
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00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,688
Apparently she got
on the bull to miscarry,
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00:04:39,712 --> 00:04:41,780
and found out
she had a talent for it.
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00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:43,226
Ladies and gentlemen,
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00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,128
give an indifferent
East Coast welcome
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00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:48,136
to the newest bull rider,
Peter the Kid!
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00:04:53,476 --> 00:04:57,562
You know what I am
back at the ranch?
I'm a breeding bull.
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00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,431
What's that?
81
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,165
You gonna find out.
82
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:03,535
Where you going, fatty?
We gonna have a party!
83
00:05:05,122 --> 00:05:06,122
No!
84
00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:12,526
No! No! No! No!
85
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,575
So, what magazine
do you write for?
86
00:05:16,599 --> 00:05:18,444
I'm the editor for Teen People.
87
00:05:18,468 --> 00:05:22,070
Editor? Wow. Gosh,
you know, I'm something
of a writer myself.
88
00:05:22,139 --> 00:05:24,272
I wrote for The New Yorker
for a little while.
89
00:05:24,340 --> 00:05:26,707
Wow, that's impressive.
Are you looking for work?
90
00:05:26,777 --> 00:05:30,078
Oh, no.
No, no, no. I never have
to look too far for that.
91
00:05:30,147 --> 00:05:32,513
What do you got?
92
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:33,926
Well, we're looking for someone
93
00:05:33,950 --> 00:05:35,694
to write a piece on
the everyday activities
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00:05:35,718 --> 00:05:37,663
of the average
American teenage girl.
95
00:05:37,687 --> 00:05:40,789
Oh, I love teenage girls.
It's all ahead of them,
you know?
96
00:05:40,857 --> 00:05:42,434
They haven't turned
into bitches yet.
97
00:05:42,458 --> 00:05:46,094
It's true.
What happened
to all of us?
98
00:05:46,163 --> 00:05:48,747
I got a house on the Cape.
Maybe you come visit.
99
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:50,009
Maybe.
100
00:05:50,033 --> 00:05:52,117
Maybe you call
a few days in advance
101
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,562
to give me time
to get the house clean.
102
00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:54,663
Okay.
103
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,521
Maybe you bring
a blazer so we can go
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00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:57,967
to a wider range of restaurants.
105
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,507
I'll bring a blazer.
106
00:06:03,046 --> 00:06:05,842
You see this, Rupert?
Most children build
a sand castle.
107
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:09,667
But I'm building
a sand retreat for singles
in their thirties.
108
00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:13,138
Hi, I'm Jeremy. I work
in corporate finance.
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00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:15,518
Hi, I'm a French Canadian girl
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00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,275
down here on my vacation.
111
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:20,746
It's a big deal for me
to be down here on my own.
112
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,881
I like the swimming pool
with a bar in it,
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00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:26,084
'cause you can
sit on a barstool
and you're in the water.
114
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,797
I like how all
the food and drink
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00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:29,933
is included
in the price
of the ticket.
116
00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:33,625
Yeah, that way you
don't have to bring your cash
down from the room.
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00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:35,974
Okay, I was just looking
for a friend of mine,
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00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:37,989
so maybe I'll see you later.
119
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:39,664
Good for you, Janine.
120
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:43,235
You promised yourself
you'd talk to somebody,
and you did it.
121
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:44,881
Brian, what are you
doing up there?
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00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,555
Shh! I'm writing
an article on teenage girls
for a magazine.
123
00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:49,886
I'm studying Meg
to see what goes
on during her day.
124
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,654
Well, be careful
you don't fall off
that ladder.
125
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:53,494
Not all dogs go to heaven.
126
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,996
So, says here you were involved
127
00:06:55,064 --> 00:06:56,798
in the plotting
of September 11th?
128
00:06:56,867 --> 00:07:00,101
Well, that's what they get
for supporting Israel.
129
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,004
Gosh!
130
00:07:03,072 --> 00:07:05,623
Okay, into the eternal
pit of fire you go.
131
00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:17,219
You know, Brian,
just because you're writing
a profile on teenage girls,
132
00:07:17,287 --> 00:07:19,098
it doesn't mean
you have to be
a creepy stalker
133
00:07:19,122 --> 00:07:20,822
and follow Meg around all day.
134
00:07:20,890 --> 00:07:23,625
It's called research, Stewie.
I'm just being thorough.
135
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,004
Where the hell is she going?
136
00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:27,348
There's nothing out
in this part of town.
137
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:33,334
What is that, Brian?
What is an adult
correctional institute?
138
00:07:33,403 --> 00:07:35,436
It's a prison, Stewie.
Ah.
139
00:07:35,505 --> 00:07:37,438
One would think they
could just say that.
140
00:07:42,145 --> 00:07:44,095
Hi, Meg.
Hi, Luke.
141
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:57,141
Oh, my God!
Meg's dating a convict!
142
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,611
Looks like Consuela's son
is in prison.
143
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:01,829
I see you soon, Rodrigo.
144
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:15,221
It's really goodto see you, Meg.It's been a while.
145
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,028
I know. I'm sorry, Luke.
146
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:19,776
It's just so hardto get over here withoutanybody finding out.
147
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,845
Have you gottenall the lettersand hair that I've sent?
148
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:24,647
It's the only thingthat's getting me by, Meg.Thank you.
149
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:25,915
How'd your parole hearing go?
150
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,505
Not good.
151
00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:29,452
Looks likeI'm gonna be in hereanother three years.
152
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:30,792
Oh, Luke.
153
00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:32,789
I don't expect you
to wait for me, Meg.
154
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:35,324
No, I will, Luke.
If it takes 10 years
or 20 years,
155
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,265
I will be here when you get out.
156
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,861
Oh, my God!
Meg's involved
with a convict!
157
00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:52,141
Wow, Meg's like one
of those crazy chicks
158
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,446
who hooks up with
an even crazier guy.
159
00:08:59,823 --> 00:09:02,306
Brian, you bastard!
How could you do this to me?
160
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,058
I'm sorry, Meg.
I had to tell them!
161
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,771
Don't give him
crap for this, Meg.
162
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:08,207
He did exactly
the right thing
by coming to us.
163
00:09:08,231 --> 00:09:09,942
Don't you know what kind of fire
164
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,410
you're playing with,
dating a prisoner?
165
00:09:11,434 --> 00:09:13,479
Hold on, Lois.
This is some
serious parenting.
166
00:09:13,503 --> 00:09:16,104
I'm gonna go put
on my Cosby sweater.
167
00:09:16,172 --> 00:09:20,508
Mom, you don't understand!
Luke and I really
connect very deeply!
168
00:09:20,576 --> 00:09:23,645
He's all alone in there,
and I'm all alone out here.
169
00:09:23,713 --> 00:09:25,546
In a way, we're both in prison.
170
00:09:25,615 --> 00:09:27,276
Well, Meg,
there's a big
difference there.
171
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:30,035
He's in prison for a reason.
He broke the law!
172
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:34,105
He robbed
a convenience store to pay
for medication for his mom.
173
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:37,386
Oh, I'm sure he gave
you a very convincing
sob story, Meg.
174
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,977
It's not a sob story!
It's true!
175
00:09:40,030 --> 00:09:42,324
Oh, come on!
You think I was
born yesterday?
176
00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:44,849
I've dated convicts.
I know how they talk.
177
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,096
One day they're
promising you the world,
the next day
178
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,231
you're spitting
balloons of heroin
into their mouths
179
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,505
during conjugal visits.
180
00:09:50,574 --> 00:09:52,190
Luke doesn't do drugs!
181
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:55,609
Frankly, I don't care, Meg.
I do not want you
seeing him again!
182
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:56,755
I can't find the sweater.
183
00:09:56,779 --> 00:09:58,441
How the hell did
you even meet him?
184
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,181
We had a pen-pal
project at school,
185
00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:03,062
and when it was over,
Luke and I just kind of kept
writing to each other.
186
00:10:03,086 --> 00:10:04,418
Well, it stops now!
187
00:10:04,487 --> 00:10:06,053
But, Mom, I love him!
188
00:10:06,122 --> 00:10:07,354
It stops now, Meg!
189
00:10:07,423 --> 00:10:08,773
Your mother's right, Meg.
190
00:10:08,841 --> 00:10:11,220
You got to be careful
who you get involved
with romantically.
191
00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:13,712
Hello?
192
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,807
I'm in the mood for some coitus.
193
00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:16,064
Get over here.
194
00:10:16,132 --> 00:10:17,372
I can't.
I'm with my family.
195
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,667
Pick up wine on the way.
196
00:10:19,736 --> 00:10:22,381
Well, Angela,
if I'm really the only guy
at work who can solve it,
197
00:10:22,405 --> 00:10:23,738
I'll be right there.
198
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,117
Luke! What are
you doing here?
199
00:10:36,186 --> 00:10:37,818
I escaped, Meg.
200
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,299
I escaped 'cause I just
couldn't bear another second
away from you.
201
00:10:40,323 --> 00:10:42,223
My God!
How did you get out?
202
00:10:42,292 --> 00:10:44,292
I filed down a toothbrush
to a fine point
203
00:10:44,361 --> 00:10:46,005
and stabbed the guard
with the most kids.
204
00:10:46,029 --> 00:10:47,662
What?
I'm just kidding.
205
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:48,896
Oh.
206
00:10:48,965 --> 00:10:50,865
I'm still getting used
to your sense of humor.
207
00:10:50,934 --> 00:10:53,979
Actually, there was a riot
in the prison yard and
I slipped over the fence.
208
00:10:54,003 --> 00:10:56,320
Well, quick, get in here
before somebody sees you.
209
00:11:01,478 --> 00:11:04,479
Oh, Meg, I've wanted
to do that for so long.
210
00:11:04,547 --> 00:11:06,726
That tastes better
than a guy's penis,
I tell you.
211
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:09,984
Now I know that was a joke!
212
00:11:10,052 --> 00:11:11,852
Whatever.
213
00:11:16,626 --> 00:11:18,554
Mom, can I be excused?
I want to go eat
214
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:20,122
the rest of my food
up in my room.
215
00:11:20,146 --> 00:11:21,579
Sure, Meg, if you want.
216
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:26,400
Eating disorder!
217
00:11:26,469 --> 00:11:28,386
I don't know
what's going on with Meg.
218
00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:30,421
She doesn't want
to leave her room
these days.
219
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:33,792
She's depressed
'cause she's in love with
a man she can't be with.
220
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:38,941
Listen to that.
Poor kid, banging her
headboard into the wall
221
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:41,246
out of frustration
and loneliness.
222
00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:43,768
Probably got her
legs up in sadness.
223
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:47,806
Listen to her now,
washing her face off
in the sink
224
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,507
after crying so much.
225
00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:51,893
Probably got tears
in her hair, poor thing.
226
00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,723
I'll go up and talk to her.
227
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:56,508
Am I the only one
who thinks she's getting
fucked up there?
228
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,483
Hey, Meg?
You okay in there?
229
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,354
Uh, yeah. Come on in.
230
00:12:05,441 --> 00:12:06,507
Everything all right?
231
00:12:06,576 --> 00:12:08,187
Yeah! Yeah, yeah,
everything's fine.
232
00:12:08,211 --> 00:12:11,745
Listen. I feel like
I should explain myself
a little bit here.
233
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:14,915
I'm sorry I had
to tell Lois what was
going on. You just...
234
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,429
You gotta realize
I was only thinking
about your safety and...
235
00:12:22,025 --> 00:12:25,305
Luke,
you might as well
come out now.
236
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,847
Luke! They let you
out of jail?
237
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:29,948
Not exactly.
238
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:31,594
He broke out to see me, Brian.
239
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,218
We're in love.
240
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:35,732
Meg, are you crazy?
You can't harbor a fugitive!
That's a felony!
241
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,250
Only if someone finds out.
242
00:12:37,274 --> 00:12:39,752
Are you gonna do it?
Are you gonna tell
on me again?
243
00:12:39,776 --> 00:12:40,925
Well, I...
244
00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:42,554
Brian, if you don't
come back downstairs,
245
00:12:42,578 --> 00:12:44,978
I am eating
the slice of pie that was
designated for you...
246
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:47,614
Wait a second.
Why is that guy wearing
a prison jumpsuit?
247
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,283
Think, Peter, think.
248
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:51,319
Wait. Hang on.
249
00:12:51,387 --> 00:12:53,354
Sunday... Sunday...
Here it is.
250
00:12:53,422 --> 00:12:56,124
"Peter gets more
than he bargains for
when he joins the rodeo..."
251
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,408
Boy, did I.
252
00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,393
"and Meg dates
a prison escapee"!
253
00:12:59,462 --> 00:13:01,528
Oh, no. Luke, run!
254
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,718
Joe? It's Peter.
Two things.
255
00:13:06,769 --> 00:13:08,797
First of all,
when I was over at
your house the other day,
256
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:10,833
I forgot to tell you
how much I like
the rearrangement
257
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:13,636
you and Bonnie did with
your living room furniture.
Second of all,
258
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:16,471
come outside,
there's an escaped convict
running across the street!
259
00:13:16,495 --> 00:13:18,090
Well, Peter,
first off, thank you.
260
00:13:18,114 --> 00:13:20,748
I have to admit I was
a little disappointed
261
00:13:20,816 --> 00:13:24,452
you didn't say anythingabout the living roomrearrangement the other day.
262
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:25,753
Second of all,
263
00:13:25,821 --> 00:13:27,981
oh, my God!
I'm on my way!
264
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,905
No, Luke, don't run downhill!
265
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,964
You're going to jail, punk!
266
00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:59,854
No, Mr. Swanson,
you can't take him!
267
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:02,457
Yes I can, Meg.
He's going back to jail.
268
00:14:02,525 --> 00:14:04,053
Well, if you're
taking him to jail,
269
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:05,376
you have to take me, too!
270
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,078
I know. That's the plan.
271
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:09,880
You're under arrest
for harboring
an escaped convict.
272
00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:12,861
Oh, well, that's only fair,
because after all,
I did hide him from the...
273
00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:14,185
What?
274
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,128
Uh, hi.
275
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,429
Did you also get caught
276
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,131
trying to vote in Ohio?
277
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,855
Well, this is it.
Meg gets out of jail today.
278
00:14:34,924 --> 00:14:37,452
Already? Seems like
just yesterday
we rented her room
279
00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:40,116
to that fly
that wants to leave
but can't figure it out.
280
00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:43,681
Okay, now where now?
281
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:45,127
Right there. Right...
I'm having some
trouble here.
282
00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:46,862
It's right there!
It's right in front of you!
283
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,220
Okay, I can hear you.
Volume's not a problem.
284
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,066
I'm just not quite seeing
what you're referring to.
285
00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:52,468
Okay, then fly...
Fly out the window!
286
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,337
Up here, maybe?
No! To your left!
287
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:55,738
No, that's not it.
That's just more wall.
288
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,940
How many eyes do you have, huh?
289
00:14:57,964 --> 00:15:00,632
Just two,
same number as you,
but you know... I'm not...
290
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:01,844
Just go!
Oh, my God!
291
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:03,011
Whatever it is
you're driving at,
292
00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:04,614
I'm just apparently
not getting it...
293
00:15:04,638 --> 00:15:07,399
You're right there!
so I'm just gonna
go back upstairs.
294
00:15:07,773 --> 00:15:10,186
I think we
should all go together
to pick Meg up.
295
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,688
She's probably
a little fragile after
being in there so long,
296
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:15,712
and I'm sure
she'll be heartened
to see our faces.
297
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:19,416
I'm home. You're all
my bitches now.
298
00:15:21,538 --> 00:15:22,620
Okay.
299
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,377
Meg! You look so different.
300
00:15:30,446 --> 00:15:32,013
How was prison?
301
00:15:32,082 --> 00:15:35,383
First question,
who's the biggest,
toughest guy in this house?
302
00:15:35,451 --> 00:15:37,146
Well, I don't like
to toot my own horn,
303
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:38,781
but I believe
I hold the distinction...
304
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:50,865
My house now, bitch!
Now who's the funniest?
305
00:15:51,668 --> 00:15:52,944
I know my way around a joke.
306
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:58,389
For God's sake,
Dad, have some humility!
It'll save your life!
307
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:02,694
There better be
beer in the fridge.
308
00:16:02,745 --> 00:16:05,273
Boy, I liked
her better when she was
more predictable.
309
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:08,049
Like the stock photos
on a corporate website.
310
00:16:08,117 --> 00:16:10,112
I'm a womanin a lab coatwearing goggles,
311
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,664
staring intentlyat a beaker that I'mholding near my face.
312
00:16:12,688 --> 00:16:14,416
I'm a Latino in a hardhat,
313
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,952
but I'm alsowearing a tie so you knowI'm a supervisor.
314
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,155
We're college students
listening to our professor,
315
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,823
but the class is taking place
316
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:22,113
outside?
317
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:30,955
Hey.
318
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,035
Meg! What the hell
are you doing in here?
319
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:34,091
Shower time.
320
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,871
Yeah, for me!
Not for...
321
00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:37,106
What are you doing
with that loofah?
322
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,179
Don't worry about it.
323
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:42,361
You told me not to
worry about it!
324
00:16:42,385 --> 00:16:44,952
I should've been
worried the whole time!
325
00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:51,292
Meg? Honey?
I did all your laundry.
326
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,711
Oh, my God!
What is that smell?
327
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:54,940
It's my poop bucket.
328
00:16:54,964 --> 00:16:56,264
What the hell?
329
00:16:56,332 --> 00:16:58,210
I'm used to going
to the bathroom
in my room.
330
00:16:58,234 --> 00:17:02,136
That's disgusting!
No, you use the toilet here
like everyone else!
331
00:17:02,204 --> 00:17:03,604
No.
332
00:17:03,673 --> 00:17:05,606
God! It smells horrible!
333
00:17:05,675 --> 00:17:08,008
Well, can you
at least empty it
each time you use it?
334
00:17:08,077 --> 00:17:11,022
I like to fill it up.
I'm not making
a million trips.
335
00:17:11,046 --> 00:17:14,548
Oh, my God!
Are you using my shirts
as toilet paper?
336
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:18,185
Yeah. And I think
I might need some
right now.
337
00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:20,588
Get out now or stay
and get weird.
338
00:17:20,657 --> 00:17:22,289
Your call, warden.
339
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:28,829
Hey, who's the new dude?
340
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:32,799
Oh, my God!
That's Meg Griffin!
She just got out of prison!
341
00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:36,069
Hey, Meg, what'd they
put you in jail for?
Being ugly?
342
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:41,292
Hey, Meg, what happened?
Did you get out early
for fat behavior?
343
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:45,596
Nice tattoo.
Did you get your
butt hair braided, too,
344
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:48,132
while you were in there?
345
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,636
What'd you do,
carve a gun out of soap
and then not wash with it?
346
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:52,704
Pee-ew!
347
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:56,752
Hey, Meg,
are you gonna take
those soda cans
348
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,809
to the Shawskank
Redemption center?
349
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,593
Peter, Meg's been
suspended from school.
350
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:17,039
That's okay.
Whatever she wants to do.
351
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:19,530
She cracked three
kids' skulls open!
352
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,976
Ever since
she's gotten out of prison,
353
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,833
she is completely
out of control.
354
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,963
Don't you see?
That's what the penal system
does in this country.
355
00:18:24,987 --> 00:18:27,888
It turns small-time offenders
into hardened criminals.
356
00:18:27,957 --> 00:18:29,901
Look at Meg. They took
an innocent little girl
357
00:18:29,925 --> 00:18:33,085
and turned her
into a psychotic,
sociopathic freak.
358
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:35,913
What'd you say, Brian?
359
00:18:35,981 --> 00:18:38,143
Oh, I was just picking up
on something Lois said.
360
00:18:38,167 --> 00:18:39,711
What was it?
What'd you say, Lois?
361
00:18:39,735 --> 00:18:41,013
Something about
Meg being a freak?
362
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,788
Oh, no, I didn't say anything.
363
00:18:43,857 --> 00:18:45,334
Peter said something about Meg,
364
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:46,835
which I completely
disagree with.
365
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,209
That wasn't me.
366
00:18:48,277 --> 00:18:49,922
Stewie was really
laying into Meg
about something.
367
00:18:49,946 --> 00:18:52,029
Yeah, it was Stewie.
Definitely Stewie.
368
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:53,658
Oh, so now everyone
understands me.
369
00:18:53,682 --> 00:18:56,216
Look, Meg, we're just
worried about you.
370
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,552
Well, don't.
I can take care of myself.
371
00:18:58,621 --> 00:19:00,599
I'll be out of here
by the end of the week.
372
00:19:00,623 --> 00:19:01,839
Punch yourself in the face.
373
00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:04,542
Punch yourself in the face!
374
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:08,290
All right, he doesn't
know what he's doing.
375
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:11,026
You, fatso,
punch your baby
in the...
376
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:12,816
I did good, Meg?
Shut up.
377
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,235
I did good!
378
00:19:15,872 --> 00:19:17,020
I did good.
379
00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:26,914
Drive.
380
00:19:27,783 --> 00:19:29,116
Any particular direction?
381
00:19:29,184 --> 00:19:30,284
That way.
382
00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:35,856
You're gonna help me
get some money so I can
get out of this town.
383
00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:37,602
Really?
Where are you gonna go?
384
00:19:37,626 --> 00:19:40,261
I don't know.
Somewhere far away.
385
00:19:40,329 --> 00:19:43,397
Maybe China.
I hear they got
NASCAR there now.
386
00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:55,826
What kind of birdhouse
can you build with Popsicles,
roofies and a mallet?
387
00:19:55,894 --> 00:19:57,772
It's for a rare African bird
388
00:19:57,796 --> 00:19:59,496
called nunya business.
389
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,551
Hi, Meg. Can I help you?
390
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,019
Hands in the air, Goldman!
391
00:20:06,088 --> 00:20:07,989
Oh, my God!
What are you doing?
392
00:20:08,057 --> 00:20:09,941
Give me your money!
Here! Here!
393
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:12,142
Just take this jar
for the leukemia kids.
394
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,928
I don't give it to them anyhow.
395
00:20:13,997 --> 00:20:15,279
Meg, put down the gun.
396
00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:16,947
Brian, get back in the car!
397
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:20,534
Look, don't do this.
This isn't you, Meg.
398
00:20:20,603 --> 00:20:22,447
What happened to the girl
we used to know?
399
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,416
The one that Luke
fell in love with?
400
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,808
The one he's expecting
to see when he steps out
of that prison in 40 years?
401
00:20:27,876 --> 00:20:30,210
I don't care about Luke.
I don't need him.
402
00:20:30,279 --> 00:20:31,529
I don't need anyone!
403
00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:33,341
Look, if you don't
put the gun down,
404
00:20:33,365 --> 00:20:35,044
I'm gonna be forced
to call the police.
405
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,417
Good! Call the police!
I want you to!
406
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,348
What do I care
if I go back to prison?
407
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,399
Nobody cares about me anyway!
408
00:20:41,423 --> 00:20:42,974
You're wrong, Meg.
409
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,575
I wanna show you something.
410
00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:49,513
Teen People?
411
00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,860
It's the article
I wrote about you.
412
00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:53,583
You wrote an article about me?
413
00:20:53,652 --> 00:20:56,921
They wanted a story
about a typical
teenage girl.
414
00:20:56,989 --> 00:21:00,357
Is it "A Fistful of Backne:
Tale of a Teenage Loser"?
415
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,504
Yeah, they make the title.
Read paragraph three.
416
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:04,461
This isn't a library, you know!
417
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:07,164
"And in the face of
every adolescent challenge,
418
00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:09,300
"she looks at the world
through hopeful eyes
419
00:21:09,368 --> 00:21:12,669
"and maintains
an uncommon resilience
that can only be admired.
420
00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:16,373
"In this sense,
Meg Griffin is not
the typical American girl.
421
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,875
"She is far sweeter
and kinder than that."
422
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:23,180
Oh, my God.
That is so nice, Brian.
423
00:21:23,248 --> 00:21:24,398
Did you mean all that?
424
00:21:24,466 --> 00:21:26,100
Of course I did.
425
00:21:26,185 --> 00:21:28,696
Oh, my God,
I can't believe
I did this.
426
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:31,750
I was just so tired
of being everyone's
whipping girl
427
00:21:31,774 --> 00:21:34,708
that it felt kind of good
to do some of the whipping.
428
00:21:34,777 --> 00:21:36,143
Give me the gun, Meg.
429
00:21:39,015 --> 00:21:41,281
Thanks for reminding me
who I really am.
430
00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:48,786
Well, at least
I didn't get robbed.
431
00:21:50,393 --> 00:21:53,694
And what can I do
for you four fine black
gentlemen today?
432
00:21:57,933 --> 00:22:00,551
I got to say, Meg,
I like you so much
better like this.
433
00:22:00,620 --> 00:22:03,788
Me, too, Meg.
God, it must have
been horrible in there.
434
00:22:03,856 --> 00:22:06,557
It wasn't so bad.
I met Wesley Snipes.
435
00:22:06,626 --> 00:22:07,936
Is that right?
Yeah.
436
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,861
And you know what's funny?
He was Inmate 57, too.
437
00:22:12,114 --> 00:22:13,663
He was Inmate 57?
438
00:22:13,732 --> 00:22:16,533
See, he did a movie
called Passenger 57.
439
00:22:16,586 --> 00:22:19,103
Ah. Well, terrific.
440
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,155
Always end on a strong joke.
441
00:23:04,166 --> 00:23:05,246
ENGLISH - US - LINE 21
35271
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