All language subtitles for Wedding Wars.2006.DVDRip.XViD

The past four years

it's been my honor
to serve as your governor,

and with your support

I will continue to fight
for each and every one of you.

Aren't you clapping
a little too hard?

I can't help it.
That was fantastic.

His speechwriter
must be brilliant.

Yeah, he's okay.

If he isn't appreciated here,
he can always go work

for one of the other campaigns
begging for his services.

It's a free country.

...increase Maine's minimum wage

to keep pace with the cost of living.

In the last four years...

Of course, there are perks
to working for the governor.

Yeah, his really hot daughter.

I was thinking of the dental plan,
but she's okay too.

- He's so lucky to have her.
- Oh, he knows that.

That's why he's been waiting
for the perfect time to do this.

I know that we will succeed.

And I want to thank my family

for their love and support--
my beautiful wife Claire...

and my wonderful daughter Maggie.

Ben, you're an excellent
campaign manager,

and I'm sure you're gonna make
an equally fine son-in-law.

Don't worry, Governor. Marriage
and politics aren't that different.

The key to success is
finding the right candidate.

Yes, except marriage
is even better-- no term limits.

Oh, this is so exciting! We can
have the ceremony right out here.

Ben and I were thinking
of something small and intimate.

It'll have to be. You can't fit
more than 400 guests out here.

Okay, when I say "small"...

You know she always gets her way,

so you might as well give in
and save yourself the grief.

- That's true.
- Well, okay, then.

An intimate little 400-person
backyard wedding it is.

First Saturday in September's
perfect for a wedding.

The leaves won't have
started to change.

There'll be no showy foliage
competing with the bride.

Yes, I'll be the one in white...

or at least ecru.

Your wedding planner's going
to have something to say about that.

Do you have someone in mind?

I hadn't even thought of that.

Oh, what about Shel?

- Shel?
- Who's Shel?

Ben's brother. Don't you think
he would be perfect?

- Your brother is a wedding planner?
- More of a party planner.

He was telling me he's always
wanted to get into weddings.

Don't you think he'd be great?

Sure, if you want to have fun,
but this is a wedding.

I mean a formal wedding.

When I think of Shel,
my mind doesn't go to formal.

Mojito time! Who wants?

Over here!

Mustn't go to waste.
There are people sober in China.

Whoa! Kids!

Turn that off, Mark.

I hate being on camera.
Turn that off.

I said cut! Cut it!

Nope, not, no, no...

I'm cutting you two O-F-F!

Yes, you can have.
Open up.

And... done with you.

Hey, Shel.

Ben! What's wrong?
Mom and Dad okay?

Yeah, they're okay. Why?

Shel! Mayo!

Hold on a second.

Garlic, herb, or spicy aoli?

Garlic!

Incoming!

You know I can't catch.

I know. It's just so much
fun watching you try.

- Ted, Ben's here.
- Ben!

Oh, no! What's wrong?

Can't I visit my brother without
there being something wrong?

Yes, but you never have.

Well, I am now.

Look, if you're too busy,
I'll just...

We'll talk in a second.
Let me flip my burgers.

- Turkey, beef, soy, or veggie?
- Sure.

Move, move.

- What are you doing?
- Get over here.

Hey, there.

Hey.

I live in 203. Dan.

Ben.

So, uh... how do you
know Shel and Ted?

I'm Shel's brother.

Oh. Cool.

I'm engaged...

to a woman.

Needs some more mustard.

Who was that?

I can't believe it!
You and Maggie are getting married!

My God, we love her!
You'll have such beautiful children!

- Congratulations, Ben!
- Thanks, Ted.

So, anyway,

we're thinking
of a September wedding,

and if you're available,
I was hoping that--

I would be your best man?

I would love to!

Actually, I was--
I was gonna ask Wayne.

Oh.

- I've known him since...
- No, no, no.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean--

No, I shouldn't have assumed.
I'm sorry.

So, Ben, what were
you going to ask?

Oh, right.

Uh, listen--
and feel free to say no--

but Maggie thought--
well, we both thought--

that, uh, that you might want
to be our wedding planner.

My first wedding!
Yes, yes, yes, yes!

Mine too.

Okay.

I'm glad he was
so excited about it!

Yeah.

Okay, what's wrong?

Nothing.

It's just that, you know,

things are a little awkward
between me and Shel.

Growing up,
we were inseparable.

Little League, fishing,
building forts.

He even followed me all the way
to Maine for college.

All the way to Maine
from New Hampshire--

what is that, like,
a 20-minute trip?

Sorry.

So, what happened?

Nothing happened.
We just, uh...

just sort of drifted apart.

I told him I was gay,
that's what happened.

Of course it wasn't
because he's gay.

I was always fine with that.

He turned white as a sheet
and started mumbling something--

"I've got to get to rugby practice."

It hasn't really been the same since.

That's why I never
came out to my parents.

You know, I figured
if Ben couldn't handle it,

an old-school union guy
like my father would finish his beer,

have a final burp,
and then keel over dead.

Well, on the upside,
this wedding is a great opportunity...

...for you and your brother
to get close again.

I'm thinking of something tasteful
with just a touch of whimsy.

Oh! I adore whimsy!

Yeah, and mostly
we want it to be fun.

Oh, yeah, lots of fun.

You'll get to meet Conrad.

Aren't you meeting with
the Fish and Game Commissioner?

That was cancelled.

The Coast Guard caught some
Norwegians poaching salmon.

Is that illegal now?

Poached salmon makes a terrific entree,
especially with a balsamic reduction.

That sounds good!

Dad, this is Shel, Ben's brother.
He is our wedding planner.

- Pleasure to meet you, sir.
- Yeah, you too.

Thanks for taking on this job.

Seeing as how we're gonna be family,
it'll give us a chance to know you better.

We were just gonna take Shel
for a tour. Want to join us?

Your dad's busy.

Sure, sweetie, it sounds like fun.

- Good.
- Great.

Fun. Fun.

- Please don't say "fabulous."
- Fabulous, simply fabulous.

You see that dock
and the little lighthouse down there?

Conrad had that built for Maggie
on her ninth birthday.

Yes, I did.

Gorgeous. Gorgeous.

I'd say that our best place for
the ceremony is right here on the patio,

with some guests there and there.

- Sounds good.
- Yeah.

No.

No? No?

I'd say it'd be best to hold the ceremony
right down here by the water.

We'll build a nice gazebo right there.

The guests could sort of
radiate up the lawn,

improve sightlines, and we
won't have to mike the service.

Shel, maybe the governor
doesn't want anyone radiating.

I'd say he's right.
No, it'll be better his way.

Great! Now for music.

I say we start out with a string quartet--
something simple, elegant.

Eggshell cotton tablecloths

with centerpieces featuring
either pink tea roses or Oriental lilies.

What do you think, honey?

- It's all good.
- Ben.

This is not you getting together
with your buddies for Super Bowl--

in which case,
I would go with the lilies.

This is your wedding day.
It matters.

Pink tea roses sound nice.

Fine.

Although the lilies
have a stronger scent.

Yes, they do have a lovely fragrance.

Which is helpful
if you're serving fish.

Lilies it is, then.

James!

Oh, it smells so good in here!

- Hi.
- Hi.

- This is the lovely bride.
- Hello.

- My fianc�.
- Here's the groom, Ben.

Dazzle us.

- ...these two as a centerpiece.
- But these roses are amazing!

She likes the roses.
Let's start with the roses.

- Oh, no.
- Nope.

You missed this...

I love you.

- Ben?
- Yeah?

- What do you think?
- Excellent.

Here. Let's see this.
Here, Ben.

Stop!

Try this.

One, two, three.

Get back on the dance floor!

- Look who's here.
- Hey! Hi!

- Hey, gorgeous.
- Hi.

- Oh, hi!
- Hug, kiss.

I don't know, natural but,
you know, done, but not too done.

More fun. Some movement.

- Done and fun.
- Right.

Fill this out,
pull the bangs over.

- It's puffy, Freddie.
- I mean, not so big.

No Farrah Fawcett.
Give us a little Jaclyn Smith.

Okay, Jaclyn Smith.

- Well?
- Definitely number three.

No.

- No?
- No?

There's coconut in the frosting,
which a lot of people don't like.

The more popular choice will be lemon.

All right.

Lemon it is.

I now pronounce this wedding
good to go.

Just think,

two weeks from today,
we'll be married.

I can't wait.

- Welling! Reelect Welling!
- Reelect Conrad Welling!

No, the governor won't be attending
your anti-immigration rally.

If people from Vermont
want to move to Maine,

putting up a fence won't stop 'em.

Yeah, I know they're annoying,
but we need the syrup.

Ben, you've got to see this.

...declaring any ban on gay
marriage to be unconstitutional.

The decision is already under attack
from Senator Ray Brighton,

Governor Welling's opponent
in the upcoming November election.

And if this decision stands,

gays will be allowed to marry
in Maine beginning next year.

Now, we cannot
allow this to happen.

As your new governor,

my first act will be to seek
a constitutional amendment

restricting marriage
to one man and one woman,

the way God intended it.

So Brighton
is speaking for God now.

That's quite an endorsement.

This is gonna make
gay marriage a major issue.

The press is gonna be
all over you for a response.

I've got a fund-raiser
in Bar Harbor tomorrow.

Let's set up a press conference
while I'm there.

- Will do.
- Is Ben there with you?

I want him to draft my response.

- He's right here.
- Yes, sir.

Ben, I need this speech
first thing in the morning,

so drop everything and get to it.

Okay.

Ready? Easy. Here we go.

- Yep.
- We're good.

- Hello?
- Ben.

Yeah, I just read your pages.

Yes, sir.

They're exactly what
I was looking for. Good job.

- Thank you, sir, thank you.
- Thank you.

- You're welcome.
- Hold down the fort.

- Yes, I will.
- Bravo, Ben.

Thanks. Bye.

It's starting to look beautiful.
You're doing a really great job.

Thanks.

That means a lot to me,
coming from you.

I know Maggie talked you into this,
so I appreciate you saying that.

Where is she? We're supposed
to taste-test champagne.

She's stuck in the office.
She sent me as a replacement.

- Sorry.
- Don't be.

It'll be like when we used to sneak
into Mom and Dad's liquor cabinet.

- Only without puking this time.
- Creme de menthe!

- What were we thinking?
- I don't know.

- Follow me.
- What, you wanna race?

Come on, old man!

Come on!

Stay away
from the schnapps, Shel!

It's a close call,
but I'm leaning toward the Cristal.

No, no. Try a little more
Veuve Clicquot. It grows on you.

There you go.

Oh. Hey, your song.

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

Come on, come on, come on,
listen, listen.

Ben, you're always running
here and there

You feel you're not
wanted anywhere

Nice vibrato.

If you ever look behind

And don't like what you find

Here's something
you should know

You've got a place to go

You've got a place to go

Hey, we should sing that
at the wedding!

Hey, maybe we shouldn't.
Maybe we should sober up.

I'm in no hurry, bro.

Me either, bro.

Thanks for that update, Katie.

- Now onto the campaign trail.
- Hey, look.

In a move that will
surely shock campaign pundits,

Governor Welling has weighed in

on the State Supreme Court's
decision legalizing gay marriage.

- Why don't we get some lunch.
- Wait, I want to see this.

Our gay citizens

are entitled to the same
rights and privileges

as everyone else in our great state.

I love this guy.

However, that doesn't mean
we need turn our backs

on thousands of years
of tradition...

which is why I support
a constitutional amendment

to prohibit same-sex marriage.

He's against gay marriage?

More like he's in favor
of traditional marriage.

Let's go get some lunch.

I can't believe it.

He seemed like such a good guy.

He is a good guy.

He's always been
a big supporter of gay rights.

Yeah. Just not this one.

At least not in an election year.

He's an old-fashioned guy,
you know?

And he's not alone.
Over 60% of voters are against it.

Well, that doesn't make it right.

Right?

Oh, no.

You agree with him.

You probably even wrote
his speech.

Oh, my God.

You did.

I can't believe it.
My own brother.

I should've known.

- Come on, Shel.
- I can't believe it.

It's okay for me to plan your wedding,
but not to have my own.

- It's not that simple.
- Seems pretty simple to me.

You think it's fine for me
to be treated differently.

That's not true.

You can still have a wedding.
You just have to marry a woman.

- Funny.
- I'm kidding.

We'll see how funny when
you're planning your own wedding.

You can't walk out.

- We have less than two weeks.
- Good luck. I quit.

You can't quit.
You have our deposit.

Right. Fine, okay.

All right, I'm not quitting.

Thank you.

I'm going on strike.

Strike?

- You can't be serious.
- I'm dead serious.

Dad went on strike
for what he believed in.

Dad struck for higher wages
and better working conditions,

not so he could marry
some guy at the VFW!

You're picketing?

Yep. I'm exercising my right
to free speech,

and my calves, which is perfect,
because today was leg day at the gym.

Shel, I-- I-- I--

This whole "Norma Gay" routine

is not gonna change
the governor's mind.

Well, maybe if I can
change someone's mind.

So this is to rally Maine's
gay soccer mom population?

Honk if you support gay marriage!
Honk if you're for gay marriage!

That's the finger of oppression, ma'am!

I can't believe you're doing this to me!

You did this to me first!

Yeah?

Hey, Ben, terrific job.

Our position on gay marriage
is getting a great reaction.

Mostly.

I even got a response
from the White House.

The President
and First Lady are coming

to help me with the campaign,
and then they're gonna

stay for the wedding.

My God, that's amazing!

What's amazing? Is that the Governor?
Let me talk to him.

Is that Shel? Put him on.
I want to give him the good news.

He's got his hands full right now.

He's really busy.
Sorry, Governor.

I'll be sure to tell him.
Sorry. Bye.

Hello? Ben?

You can hang up on me,
but I will not be silenced.

- Support gay marriage!
- Shel? Shel?

The President of the United States
is coming to this wedding.

The President?

This is gonna be the most
important night of your career,

so put down the picket sign.

Well, this changes everything.

I'm gonna have
to rethink this whole thing.

The seating chart.

The menu, of course.
I mean, the menu...

Wait a minute.
I see what you're doing.

If I quit, the bad guys--
meaning you-- win. Good.

Very clever. Good try.

- Support gay marriage!
- You've been drinking.

You've been drinking too!

Who do you trust that's sober?
What about your... your...

Ted?

The prosecution has no objection

to the defense's request
for a continuance, Your Honor.

Very well. Trial will resume
on Wednesday at 9:00 a.m.

Hey! I was just gonna call you.
Want to grab some dinner?

Why not?

What?

Shel, have you lost your mind?

Honk if you support
gay marriage!

I'm glad you showed up.
He won't listen to reason.

He'll listen to reason. I think
he just doesn't want to listen to you.

You go. Take off.
Everything will be fine.

Thanks.

So now you're in league
with Darth Brother?

Only partly.

I understand how you're feeling,
but what are you doing?

You're not political.
You don't even watch the news.

Anderson Cooper doesn't count.

You don't have to watch the news
to know the governor is wrong.

So join one of the gay political groups
that I'm sure will be protesting.

You're just gonna look foolish
out here by yourself.

Why don't you join me?
Then I'll only look half-foolish.

Because I happen to be
a state prosecutor who likes his job.

They frown on us
heckling the governor.

Shel, I love you,
but I can't do this.

All right.

Well, I guess we both have to do
what we think is right.

It's gonna be getting dark.

Why don't we talk about this
more at home?

I think I'm gonna stay here tonight.

All night?

But you hate camping!

It'll be cold, and there'll be bugs,

and Heath Ledger won't be
coming by to cuddle with you.

I'll be fine.

All right. You know, Shel,
I wasn't gonna say this before,

but this is really tacky.

I think you'd better go now.

Support my constitutional right
to get married!

Support my right to get married.

Support my constitutional right
to get married!

Support my right to gay marriage!

Gay marriage, anyone?

At least Rosa Parks
got to sit down.

Hey.

- You here to support gay marriage?
- Hell, no.

I'm here 'cause some guy named Ted
ordered you a pizza and a six-pack.

Oh, thank you.
I got it. Thanks.

I love that you keep yourself
in shape for me,

but don't you think
you're overdoing it a little bit?

It's not for you.

It's for the President.

If I can't be the most important man
at my wedding,

I can at least
have the best pecs.

...or use other means
of transportation.

Governor Welling announced
at a press conference today

that he is in favor of
an amendment to ban gay marriage.

What?

This puts both he and his opponent,
Senator Brighton,

on the same side of the issue,
effectively making it

a dead issue in the campaign.

Okay, let me say one thing
before you get mad.

Too late. How could my father
do something like this?

Because even though
he supports gay rights,

he believes marriage should be
between a man and a woman.

What did he say when
you tried to talk him out of it?

"Thanks, Ben, I'm glad we agree"?

You agree?
How could you possibly agree?

- Your own brother is gay!
- Don't remind me.

What is that supposed to mean?

Ben, are you embarrassed
that Shel is gay?

No.

Okay, maybe a little.

Hey, but on some level,
Shel is too.

That's insane. He is totally out.

He wears a Prada shoulder bag!

Not in front of our parents,
he doesn't.

That is not a cat he wants
out of the bag, Prada or not.

What did he say
when he heard about this?

Okay, I'm not gonna lie to you.

He was a little miffed.

- I'm calling him!
- No, please don't do that.

Look, he's probably
forgotten all about it by now.

Besides, he and Ted
are already in bed.

If you call, you might
interrupt... things.

Things? It's called sex, Ben.

You can't even say it. Sex.

I can say it, okay?

I'm just more comfortable
when it involves a man and a woman.

Especially when that woman is looking
very sexy in her pink nightgown.

You and your brother have a lot more
in common than you think.

Oh, yeah? What's that?

Neither one of you is gonna be
having sex with a woman tonight.

Crazy man.

Support gay marriage.

Morning, Ben.

Question: why is your brother
picketing outside my house?

One, two, three, four.
Don't you close that closet door!

Five, six, seven, eight.
Open up the marriage gate.

- Shel?
- Yes.

Ben told me you were upset,

but this isn't the way
to change my mind.

What is the way
to change your mind?

Well, to be honest,
there is none.

One, two, three, four.
I don't work here anymore!

Five, six, seven, eight...

- Shel?
- Yes, Claire?

Don't you think
that you could protest Conrad

but at the same time
help Maggie and Ben?

It's just a picket sign.
It's not as if he's hanging you in effigy.

That's a good idea.
Can I borrow his red and blue sweater?

Oh, you don't want to use that.
It's hideous.

It's so red-state, blue-state.

Madeleine Albright
gave me that sweater.

Governor, I'm really sorry about this.

Well, it's really not your fault, Ben...

but what do you plan to do about it?

I got it covered. After you called me,
I came up with a plan.

- I'll do anything short of a Taser.
- Oh, don't worry.

My plan is equally effective,
and twice as deadly.

Support my right
for gay marriage!

Support my right...

Hi! Hi!

Shel, look who came out early.
Mom and Dad.

- Oh, look at you.
- Hi, Mom.

- Hi, honey.
- Hi, Mom.

- Hey, Dad.
- Hey, Shel, how are you?

- Hey, Dad.
- Oh, give me a hug.

Whoa.

Oh, Vern, have you ever seen
such a beautiful house?

Doesn't have wheels.

Ben says you've been doing
a knockout job on this wedding.

That's why I thought it'd be fun
to have you come out early,

so you could see Shel hard at work.

Yeah. All right, well,
why don't I show you around?

- Follow me.
- Say, Shel?

What were you doing out here,
anyway?

- Taking a walk.
- In front of the governor's house?

- Back and forth, back and forth?
- Yes, it helps me relax.

What do you guys want
to see Shel work on first?

How about the seating chart?
That's not done, is it?

You know what? I will not be
blackmailed any further.

Honey, you can say
anything you want.

We don't care about
the seating chart.

No, this is something
I should've done a long time ago.

- Mom, Dad...
- Oh, no.

I'm gay.

Ben and Maggie have been
living in sin for over a year.

Is it because I made you
watch ice skating with me?

No, Mother.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

I'm just gay,

same way some people
are just smart or just tall or...

- Or just Lutheran?
- Yes, exactly.

Actually, I was born gay,
where people choose to be Lutheran.

You were born Lutheran, Shel.

It says so right on
your birth certificate.

No, Dad, that's because...

And it doesn't say "gay,"
I can promise you that.

Okay, the point is,
this is who I am,

and I just hope you both
can accept it.

He really did it.

I'm afraid he's not
giving up anytime soon.

So now what?

First thing is to
keep it out of the press.

He's one guy with a picket sign.
Since when is that news?

Since the guy is the brother of the man
marrying the governor's daughter,

whose wedding the President
and First Lady will be attending.

Okay. I'll switch all press away from...

- Tisdale.
- Tisdale?

Channel 9 News. I sent him to do a piece
on the wedding with Maggie today.

Oh, God. Maggie.

Well, call him. Call her.
Call it off!

It's too late.
They're on their way here now.

Damn, we got to get rid
of my brother.

How?

The governor wants to meet?

I can't promise he'll change his mind.
You've got one chance to wow him.

It doesn't mean
I'm calling off the strike.

We wouldn't expect that.

We've got to hurry.
He's waiting for you.

Not that way.

We're meeting on a boat?

Not so much a boat
as it is a nautical conference room.

This is Ed Myerson,
the governor's press secretary.

The governor was called away.

He asked me to
write down your thoughts

in anticipation of a later meeting.

Ed will take down everything,
so cover all your points in detail.

Ready when you are.

Uh... okay, uh... well, I guess, um,
basically the question is,

Why can my brother get married
and I can't?

- Of course.
- Right?

I mean, that's how this whole thing
kind of started, you know.

That was the initial conception...

What are you doing here?

Master's in journalism
from Northwestern.

They send me out to cover
this cotton candy crap.

I thought it would be fun
if we did the interview together.

Well, hello!
There's the happy couple.

Casper, this is Maggie,
my beautiful bride-to-be.

Maggie, it's a pleasure
to meet you.

You too. Where's Ed?

See, if you don't treat people equally,

this essentially stops
becoming America, right?

- Right?
- Right.

I'm here at Governor Welling's estate,

where this Saturday a very
special wedding will take place.

Even the bridal bouquet
will be red, white, and blue.

I mean, sure, anyone can
live together, but...

...saying "I do" in front
of my family and friends

is gonna be
the happiest day of my life.

So, are you brave enough to tell us

what a wedding
whose guest list includes

the President
of the United States costs?

Well, we could, but money's
not important. What matters is...

...having your relationship
accepted by society.

That's true.

I just want
what everyone else has.

Yeah.

Everybody-- No!

What's going on here?
You're doodling?

- What is this? What are you doing?
- It's an octopus.

There's no doubt
in this reporter's mind

that the state of this union
will be happily ever after.

This is Caspar Tisdale
for Channel 9.

I think that went well, don't you?

You jerk! You liar!

Shel, oh, my God, you're soaked.

- Who's that?
- Don't worry about him.

Stop! Don't put that camera away.
They're trying to silence me.

Support gay marriage!

How fast can we set up again?

It's the Channel 9 News with anchors
Matt Wildman and Katie Gonzales,

Arlo Donovan with the weather,
and Brook Palmer on sports.

- I'm toast.
- I'm not speaking to you.

Thank you for doing this. You're really
gonna help me get my message out.

Hey, call me Caspar.
Sounds better on the air.

Welcome to Channel 9 News.

Poor Shel.

I didn't lie to you.
I told you he was miffed.

Miffed?

"Miffed" and "on strike"
are not the same thing.

When factory workers get screwed,
the union does not go out on "miff."

Ben, don't you think your parents
would like to come inside?

Oh, I think they'd rather
be alone in the RV for a while.

It's been a pretty rough day.

Okay, this says it has something
to do with Shel's genes.

Not his blue jeans,

which I always thought
he wore too tight anyway, but...

Oh, dear.

FYI: poor Shel told them
we've been living together.

Now they think you're a slut.

...more liberal constituents.

Both Governor Welling and his
opponent, Senator Ray Brighton,

have announced their support
of a constitutional amendment

defining marriage as between
a man and a woman.

But for at least one member
of the governor's circle,

this announcement
was a call to action.

Caspar Tisdale joins us now
with more on the story.

Caspar.

This is Caspar Tisdale reporting live
from Governor Welling's estate,

where an unusual protest
is underway.

Shel Grandy was handling
the arrangements

for his brother's wedding
to the governor's daughter--

that is, until the governor
came out against gay marriage,

and that's when Mr. Grandy,
who happens to be gay,

decided to go on strike.

Do I talk now?

Well, you wouldn't be
a very good spokesman if you didn't.

Well, I'm here to say that
the governor is being unfair.

Your protest doesn't seem
to have picked up much steam.

Has anyone joined you
out here on the line?

No, I'm pretty much...
I'm just doing this on my own.

Do you think that
will change the governor's mind?

No, no, I don't think
that's gonna happen.

He already told me that
he's not gonna change his mind.

So at this point, you're really
just striking out of spite.

No, I'm--

I'm striking--

I'm striking for my--
my beliefs.

I believe wholeheartedly
in my beliefs.

I guess you got all the political savvy
in your family, huh?

He's never done this before.

What would you say
to all the people

who are thinking you're just
another crackpot with an axe to grind?

Shut up!
No one's thinking that.

We're not just a fringe group.

There are a lot of us out here,
Mr. Tisdale.

Interesting thought.

If all the world's florists,
hairstylists, and choreographers

were to go on strike,
could we survive?

For Channel 9 Action News,
this is Caspar Tisdale

reporting live from
Governor Welling's estate.

Great TV, kid.

You bitch.

He made Shel look like
a complete fool.

- He did, didn't he?
- Yep.

Well, I'd sure hate to lose
my hairstylist.

Let's hope he doesn't strike
while the curling iron is hot.

And on that note, let's go
"straight" to the weather

with Arlo Donovan.

Where's Arlo?

He just left.

It appears Arlo has
stepped away from the map.

Turning now to our next story...

"I'm on strike too, ass wipes."

Katie?

Back to you, Matt.

Honey!
Were you watching upstairs?

That fruit loop I delivered
pizza to was on the news.

Jerome, we need to talk.

You're being too hard on yourself.
He didn't even give you a chance to talk.

Mom says don't feel too bad.

She'd come out and tell you herself,
but she's too busy telling Dad.

Why did they decide
to come out so early?

Oh, my God. You're kidding.
You called them?

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I thought if I'd go on TV,
I'd get some people on my side,

but I just ended up looking like
a jackass, just like you predicted.

It wasn't that bad.

It'd be easier to believe

if you hadn't felt the need
to race over here and tell me.

Well, the important thing is
it's all behind us now.

Come on.
Let's go home.

What are all these cars doing here?

Oh, no.

- What kind of strike is this?
- Well, I don't know.

Is anything even open?

- What's going on?
- We're on strike. Goodbye.

I can't believe it!
What is going on?

This strike is something else!

Support Shel!

Support gay marriage!

Send a message
to our governor.

Support Shel!
Here, take a flyer.

Support Shel!

Reelect Welling. Please hold.

Ben, thank God you're here.

The advance team
from the White House is at the airport

and no one was there to pick them up.

But Angela arranged for a limo.

The limo service is on strike.

Well, why didn't she call
somebody else?

Angela's on strike too.

Hello? Reelect Welling.
Please hold.

Hello? Mom? Not now.

Five, six, seven, eight,
open up the marriage gate!

One, two, three, four,
don't you close that closet door!

Five, six, seven, eight,
open up the marriage gate!

One, two, three, four,
don't you close that closet door!

Five, six, seven, eight,
open up the marriage gate!

One, two, three, four,
don't you close that...

Well, naturally,
world affairs come first.

Well, you give
the First Lady my best.

An emergency summit
on the Middle East has come up.

The President won't be
attending the wedding.

Well, if it's an emergency summit--

Please. An emergency summit
is the presidential equivalent

of "I'd love to come,
but I have to wash my hair."

Whoa! What do you
think you're doing?

Honoring the strike.

Hi, is this World of Weddings?

Yes, I'm calling about
a wedding coordinator.

This Saturday
at the Governor's estate. Hello?

No, the wedding
is actually this Saturday.

At the, uh, Governor's estate.

Hello?

Hi. I'm looking
for a wedding coordinator.

Hello, Till Death Do Us Part?

Yeah, this Saturday
at the Governor's estate.

This Saturday
at the Governor's estate.

Hi, I was wondering
if you could help me out.

I need a wedding coordinator.

Oh, you have...
many wedding coordinators.

That's fantastic.

Thank you for coming
on such short notice, Mrs...

Fairfield, darling, Fairfield.

And you're in very good hands.

I'm known as
"The Wedding Planner to the Stars."

In Maine?

Remember Tony Orlando and Dawn?
I did one of the Dawns' weddings.

Oh, she was--

Okay, what the hell is going on
at the gate? I can't hear myself think!

Oh, that's, uh--
that's-- that's nothing.

Actually, it's our
former wedding planner

making a very valid stand
for gay rights.

Well, my second
husband Macey was a gay.

Yeah. Gay as the day is long.

He ran off
with the pool boy, Javier.

He's a very handsome man, Javier.

Always wore a white thong.

Didn't speak a word of English.
Didn't have to.

Azaleas!

Excuse me?

Nothing says "we'll be
together forever" like azaleas!

You know, actually,
we like everything Shel picked out.

- We just need you to coordinate.
- Gold lam� as far as the eye can see!

Giant topiary cupids,
dancing waterfall...!

...three, four, don't you close
that closet door.

Five, six, seven, eight,
open up the...

Let her through.
Let her through.

Shel, I don't want to do
this wedding without you.

I want to postpone,
but they're trying to guilt me into it.

My father says it's gonna
hurt his campaign.

That's okay, Maggie.
I understand.

- I love you.
- I love you too.

You're gonna miss
a great wedding, Shel.

Mrs. Fairfield
has lots of good ideas--

ice sculptures, a champagne
fountain, cherub caterers.

Cherub caterers?

Yep. She's promised us
lots of pizzazz.

Pizzazz.

The only thing worse than
pizzazz is razzle-dazzle.

- Wayne?
- Dude!

Oh! That's how you
greet your best man!

I thought you were staying
at the Verdi Hotel.

So did I, but they
screwed up my reservation.

Something about the gay dudes
going on strike.

So it looks like I'm gonna be
crashing here with you...

and Magpie.

What started out as a simple,
one-man protest

has ended up affecting every state...

From Augusta, Maine,
to San Diego, California,

no American city
is immune to the strike.

In a wave of support that
caught most Americans by surprise,

Shel Grandy's strike for the right
to marry has swept the nation...

The gay strike is one week old,
and there seems to be no end in sight.

You? I'm totally surprised.

The way that it's sweeping the nation
demonstrates the level of discontent.

It's sort of like the gay equivalent to

"I'm mad as hell,
and I'm not gonna take it anymore."

Excellent analogy.

Thanks. Sort of
getting the hang of this.

So, you're out there
striking for gay marriage.

We know you've gotten
thousands of proposals.

Does anybody "strike" your fancy?

I'm not gonna deny there are
a lot of great guys out there,

but no one compares
to my boyfriend Ted.

In that case,

this is a slightly disappointed
and still single Ken Caldwell

reporting live from Los Angeles.

Thank you.

Can I have one of those?

Thanks.

- What do we want?
- Marriage equality!

- When do we want it?
- Now!

- What do we want?
- Marriage access!

All we want is marriage access.

We pay our bills, we pay our taxes.

In yet another assault on one
of our most cherished institutions,

gays want to get married.

What next? Polygamy?

Incest?
A man marrying his dog?

Don't even think about it.

The Dow-Jones is already
looking good in heavy trading.

That's not all that's looking good.

Merchandisers are clearly
feeling optimistic

from the terrific pre-school
Labor Day sales numbers.

The profits from last weekend
signal the kickoff

of the big winter retail sales period,
which begins with Labor Day

and culminates with the end-of-the-year
winter holidays.

In other news, the man
gay striker Shel Grandy

wants to marry has been revealed
as Augusta prosecutor Ted Moore.

Hey, Ted.
Congratulations.

That was "Endless Love,"
going out to Shel and Ted.

And now Celine Dion with...

All we want is marriage access.
We pay our bills, we pay our taxes.

You guys, it's Ted!

All right, Ted!

Congratulations!

Throwing a strike is no different
than throwing a good party.

The key is make sure
everyone feels welcome

and keep them circulating.
That's about it.

Uh-oh. Excuse me
one second, please.

Hi. I know what you're gonna say,
and I'm really sorry.

Can we please talk
about this in private?

Sure.

Oh! Hello! I'm Wanda.
I'm Shel's mom.

I recognize you from the newspaper.
You're Shel's special friend.

- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, you!

It's not funny. Are you sure
these are the ones Shel ordered?

Well, they're the ones they sent.

Mind you, they were
giggling when they delivered.

I'm sorry!

Never mind.

Look, darling, there is still time
to get you in a nice top hat and tails.

Maybe you should wear
your blue Armani.

Dude, these tuxes you ordered
are awesome!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

I like it.

- Sorry about that.
- No need to apologize.

I was happy to be
grilled by your mom

about an impending wedding
I know nothing about!

She seemed to like you.

I never said anything
about us getting married.

I mentioned your name
once in an interview. That's it.

- That's it?
- Yeah.

The bailiff wants
to throw me a shower!

It'll blow over.
You know the press.

Tomorrow Britney will drop
another baby, and it'll be old news.

I'd better be.

And so what if people think
we do want to get married?

Is that a bad thing?

We just moved in together
six months ago.

Eight months ago. And we've been
together two and a half years.

- That's longer than Ben and Maggie.
- We're not like them.

What are you saying to me?

Are you saying you wouldn't want
to marry me even if you could?

- I don't-- I don't know.
- You don't know?

I don't know.

I've never spent one instant of my life
thinking about getting married.

One of the benefits of being gay
was that I always thought

I wouldn't have to spend one instant
thinking about getting married,

until now, thanks to you.

Who wants to marry you anyway?
Not me. I'm not asking.

Well, fine.

Fine.

Bridesmaids swing to the left.

The cherub flower girl
takes her position.

Everyone settles.

There's a hush, and I sing...

Sometimes when we touch...

Governor brings Maggie...

The honesty's too much...

Maggie, greet Ben.

And I have to close my eyes
and hide

Maggie, turn away.

Ben, swing her around gently
toward you.

I want to hold you till I die

He takes her left hand.

Till we both break down and cry

She takes his hand.

I want to hold you...
Squeeze it!

Till the fear in me

Maggie's line--
"Ben, I'm scared."

Ben--
"I know. I'm here."

Subsides

I also do a terrific "Mack the Knife,"

but I'd like to save that for when
you're ready to cut the cake, okay?

Well?

Really good.

Yeah.

But you're going to be so busy.

Maybe we should just
go with a deejay.

What are you talking about?

Nothing is as good
as live musicians.

- Is he alive?
- Ben!

We're gonna think about it,

'cause we need to go get ready
for the rehearsal dinner, so...

Oh, really?
Where you having it?

Sorry, Governor,
we ran out of Guinness,

and our delivery guy is out on...

Well, you know.

Yeah, we know.

- Fish and chips and burgers coming up.
- I'm really sorry about this.

I had a reservation at Finique,
but they got the dates mixed up.

That's a shame.
I really love French food.

What's odd is that none of the other
places you called could fit us in either.

I'll bet that's because of Shel.

Turns out your son's very popular.

Well, at least one of them is.

Well, Shel always did have
loads of friends.

Who wouldn't be proud to count Shel
amongst their friends and their family?

Maggie, could I see you alone
for a moment?

Sure.

Excuse us.

Dude.

Look, sweetheart,
I know you blame Ben

for everything that's gone wrong
in the last couple of weeks.

Actually, Dad,
I don't entirely blame Ben.

Well, in any case...

Ben's the one you've been taking
potshots at all night.

I know. Sorry.
It's not my finest hour.

It's just I'm starting to see a side of him
that I really don't like.

Maybe you need
to remind yourself

of all the things that
you do like about him.

After all, you did
agree to marry him.

Yeah, because
I stupidly love him.

And I'm sure he stupidly
loves you too.

He's just so frustrating.

Look, why don't you do
what your mother does

when she's frustrated with me.

Needlepoint's not my thing.

Actually I meant to say
calmly talk things out.

Needlepoint?

Yeah.

So, last January when I didn't take

your mother to Hawaii
to the governors' conference

and she started making
those little pillows?

I can't believe
you're just realizing this.

Okay, this conversation
is not going at all the way I planned.

Let's get back to the table so I can
give your mother the good news.

What good news?

It seems I'm taking her
to Maui this winter.

I'm glad we solved your problem.

Don't worry. I think I may have
a way to solve your problem too.

- Did you?
- Everything okay?

- How are you doing?
- Hi, great.

Ben, I've been thinking.

If we sit down
with Shel and start...

How was the rehearsal dinner?

I heard Finique lost the reservations.
Bummer. Strike for gay marriage!

- I think I have a way to end this.
- Oh, yeah?

You're gonna want to hear this.

All right.

Let's go someplace a little quieter.

Should I be leaving a trail
of bread crumbs?

Is your plan to take me out here
and hope I can't find my way back?

No, this is real. The governor's willing
to issue a statement in favor

of civil unions as soon as you call off
the strike. You won, Shel.

- Did you say "civil unions"?
- Yes.

No deal.

What do you mean no deal?

The governor's going out on a big limb.
What more do you want?

I want the same thing
you have: marriage.

Civil unions
are the same as marriage.

And sitting in the back of the bus is
just as comfortable as sitting in front.

Marriage isn't just
about a beautiful wedding.

There are legal issues--

tax benefits, health insurance,
property rights, Social Security,

and other laws that apply
to married couples, not civil unions.

- Really?
- Really.

I may have started this
because I was mad, but I've learned a lot.

You want to make a difference?

Go talk to the governor
and change his mind.

I can't do that.

You know, it makes perfect sense
that your song is "Ben,"

because it's about a rat, which is
exactly what you turned out to be.

I hate that song!

I remember so clearly your face
the day I told you I was coming out.

You made that rat face!

It wasn't a rat face.
That was a wince of surprise.

It was a wince of,
"My brother's a fag!"

Excuse me for not throwing on
the Village People and dancing for joy.

It was a lot to spring on me.
You're the one who changed, not me.

I didn't change, Ben.
You just started treating me differently.

- Sometimes, I could just...
- Hit me? Go ahead.

Thanks to you, Maggie hates me,
half the town's booing me.

Even Mom's giving me the evil eye.

You might as well.
You've done everything else!

Go ahead, hit me.

Come on, hit me!

You hit me.
I can't believe you just hit me.

You told me to hit you.
I thought you wanted me to hit you.

Ow! I didn't say
you could hit me.

- It was implicit when you hit me.
- Oh, yeah?

Not bad for a fairy, huh?

- Wait. Dad's coming.
- Where?

I can't believe
you still fall for that.

Break it up. Break it up!

He started it.

You so started it.

You.

Hey, aren't you
that gay strike guy?

Yeah.

- We're behind you, man.
- Yeah. Can you sign my helmet?

Yes, I'd be delighted to.

- There you go.
- "To my gay brother."

What makes you think I'm gay?

Sorry, I just assumed.
Let me fix that.

Now it's
"To my not-gay brother."

Grandy, you made bail.

The straight one.

The gay one gets out too.

Funny how we both chose
to wear concealing hats.

Oh, please, I came this close
to wearing Shel's sombrero.

Yeah, we'd make a great photo op.

"Governor's daughter
and Assistant District Attorney

were seen bailing their respective
boyfriends out of the Big House."

When Shel said he wanted
to fight for gay marriage,

I had no idea he meant literally.

I don't think it's about gay marriage
as much as it's about Ben and Shel.

Oh, yeah.

Do you think they are ever going
to grow up and forgive each other?

It's hard to say.

Unfortunately, along with the great hair,
they both inherited a stubborn streak.

Why couldn't they both
just have been double-jointed?

It's not my fault.
He's a crazy person.

A civil union is not a marriage!

You hear that?

He's right. Would you be satisfied
just signing a contract with me?

I give up.

I give up. You're the only
sane one of the bunch.

While you were siding with Shel,

he was trying to help me
talk him out of striking.

I didn't do it for you,
Ben, I did it for Shel.

Frankly, I think
you're kind of an ass.

Let's get out of here, shall we?

I'm sorry we fought
over the marriage thing.

I don't like being pressured.

Ted, if you love someone,

the idea of staying together
shouldn't feel like pressure.

I've been thinking about this.

If we're not in this for the long run,
I'm not so sure I want to be in it at all.

Wait. Shel, why can't we just go
back to the way it was before?

'Cause I'm...

not the same person I was before.

Shel, get in the car.

Maggie, say something.
We gotta talk about this.

Ben, right now,
I don't want to talk to anyone.

I don't want to see anyone.
I just want to be left alone.

Magpie, your wedding planner
lady called.

She said she couldn't get doves,
but you shouldn't worry

'cause she lined up
some trained pigeons.

It appears the two-week-old gay strike
has actually helped Welling.

Over 60% of voters
support his decision

to stand up to the protesters.

You see? There you go.

The moral majority's on my side.

Conrad, you know, just because
people disagree with you on this

doesn't mean that they are immoral.

Me, for instance.

Well, you?
You're on their side?

It's not them or us, dear.

We're all the same.

Frankly, I'm a little disappointed
that you seem to have forgotten that.

Is that needlepoint?

Yes, I'm going to cover
the dining room chairs--

all 12 of them.

I think I'm going to get some air.

Don't catch cold.

Governor.

Sorry, I was-- I wasn't--

Clearly, I was, but, you know,
I didn't yet.

You know, I often find common ground
with my political opponents,

but I don't very often
find a common tree.

Nine bathrooms, and you still use a tree.
You really are a man of the people.

I didn't want to go back
in the house yet, you know?

I'm not very popular
with my wife right now.

How come you're not
using your parents' RV?

I'm not popular
with my dad right now.

That's the toughest thing
about being in politics.

You don't want to disappoint
the people you love,

but sometimes it's inevitable.

Even when you believe
in something in your heart

you have to hope
they understand.

To thine own self be true.

Even when it sucks, huh?

Even when it sucks.

Look, Shel,
I'm enjoying our little talk here.

I know. I got...

- See ya.
- Thanks, Gov.

Now the polls are showing

Welling's tough stance
against the gay strikers

has put him comfortably
in the lead.

Let's hope gays will leave the marching
to people with real issues

and go back to their parades.

Son.

I know. I heard.

My strike is making the governor
even more popular than ever.

I guess I embarrassed you
for nothing, huh?

Look, I can't really say
this is easy for me...

this gay stuff.

I don't know.

But I do know I'm proud of you,

taking a stand for something
you believe in.

But I lost.

Let me tell you something.

In '86 when our union
went on strike,

we were out for six months.

We ended up losing anyway.

I put my sign down
and went back to work.

So you think I should go back
to work on the wedding?

That's between you
and your conscience.

All I'm really trying to say is,
even though we lost,

I'll never regret taking a stand,
and neither should you.

Thanks, Dad.

Look...

we went back out
a couple of years later, and we won.

I mean, you can lose a battle
and still win the war.

Remember that.

I'm sorry I didn't tell
you and Mom I was gay sooner.

I'm sorry.

I'm just sorry that you
didn't feel that you could.

You know, there's no secret,
no matter how big,

could ever come between us.

You're my son, no matter what.

Hey, Ben?

It's Magpie.

Dude, on the phone,
phone, phone.

Hi, honey.

Hi, honey.

Did you sneak out early
because it's bad luck

to see the bride
before the wedding?

I got to run out for a while.

Cool. Hey, even though
the wedding's off,

can I still wear
the pretty tux today?

How'd you know about the wedding?

I was on the extension.
I'm the one who blew his nose.

Out of the way, please.

Thank you.

Excuse me, darling.

Have you seen a small Panamanian
gardener with a topiary elephant?

No, I'm happy to say.

What are you doing
over here anyway?

Why aren't you with your rabble,
leading the charge?

The media wants my reaction to the poll.
I'm trying to think what to say.

You can tell them
that you succeeded at one thing--

the wedding's been put on hold.

Maggie apparently
wants to call it off,

and no one knows where she is.

Maggie's called off the wedding?
What happened?

You didn't hear it from me.
I happen to know from a very...

Thank you.

Thank you.

Good morning.

I know it's been a long night,
but in spite of the polls,

I want you all to know
that everyone here

and everyone that supported us
around the country

have made a difference--

an even bigger difference than
I think any of us could have imagined.

I know I sure couldn't.

We may have lost the battle...

but in my heart I know
one day we will win the war.

We'll win because
we're gonna keep trying

and because the people
and friends and family

and co-workers we return to
have been put on notice

that we will not be treated
like second-class citizens

because of who we love.

And if you're not out to all the people
in your life, then maybe it's time.

Because those who think gay people

are out to destroy
the institution of marriage

don't know us very well.

We do not destroy.

We renovate.

And we are gonna make
marriage stronger

and even more beautiful than ever.

I may not always agree
with everyone in my family...

but they are my family.

And this whole thing started

because I believe everybody
deserves a beautiful wedding.

For better or worse,
that includes my brother.

There was to be
a wedding here today,

but it's not gonna happen
without our help.

Now...

I'd like to ask y'all a little favor.

Does she have any idea how
embarrassing it would be to cancel now?

How could she do this to me?

Oh, and you too, Ben, naturally.

Okay, I called up all the guests
and gave them the heads-up

that the wedding may be canceled--

postponed with extreme prejudice.

I'll be right in there.

Try her cellphone again.
Maybe she'll answer this time.

My speed dial tries every two minutes.
She just doesn't want to talk to me.

It's probably just pre-wedding jitters.

I know I was really nervous
about my honeymoon night.

Of course, that wouldn't
really be a problem for her.

It's not jitters.

She just doesn't want
to marry some oaf

who's totally unaware
how she's feeling half the time.

Oh, no, dear. If that were true,
no woman would get married.

I'm calling in the state troopers.
Maybe they can find her.

I'm surprised she doesn't have

one of those GPS deals
on her cellphone

so you could locate her
in case of emergency.

My God, of course she does.

- You're a genius!
- We'll pinpoint her in two seconds.

If you're calling security, tell them
the gays are invading the south lawn.

Wait for it.

It could be cooler.

Oh, my God.
We have our work cut out for us.

- What?
- Let's go, gang.

Get out of the way.

The lam�, get rid of the lam�!
Anything lam� goes away.

All right, gentlemen, focus.

Tenors, little more to your left.

Get in places, and remember,
if you can't see me, I can't see you.

Okay.

Ted?

What are you doing here,
besides sabotaging the gazebo

these nice lesbians
just put back together?

I love you.

I love you so much, and I don't
want to lose you, you crazy man.

I love you too.

- But... I'm not ready to get married.
- I understand.

I just, uh, you know, moving in
together was traumatic enough.

I know.

- Just give me some time.
- I'll give you time.

I am Mr. Time. I'll give you
all the time you need.

- How much time do you need?
- Shel!

- What?
- I don't know, I don't know.

I just, uh... in time.

Okay? Maybe... maybe
I just need a sign.

Okay, not that kind of sign.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Wow. This is gonna be beautiful.

It sure is.

Ben and Maggie
must be so excited.

Maggie!

Let's jump in my car right here!

Who's driving this van?
Who's driving this van?

Maggie.

Ben, wha--
How did you find me?

The GPS on your cellphone.

Only you've been moving around a lot--
I've been chasing you all day.

Listen, sweetheart,
running is not the answer.

I know I've been an idiot,
but please stay and marry me.

Ben, I-I don't want to get married

until it's a happy occasion
for everyone, including me.

And I don't know if I'd be happy
marrying someone

who'd take sides
against his own brother.

You know, Shel didn't
let you down for being gay.

You let him down by not accepting it.

But I do accept it. I get it now.

Okay, I really want
to believe you,

but you're gonna have to
be a little more specific.

Okay, okay. When you called off
the wedding this morning,

I knew that I had screwed up
the happiest day of my life.

And then it hit me:

that's what I have been trying
to keep Shel from having all along.

Right now, he and I
are fighting for the same thing.

And I swear to you,
as soon as I stop

begging you for forgiveness,
I'll start begging him.

So please,
don't get on that plane.

What-- what-- what plane?

The plane you were taking.

Oh, actually, I was here
to pick up Stephanie.

But she missed her flight,
which is fine,

'cause I no longer
need a maid of honor.

Ben, even if Shel forgives you,
there's no time.

- We can't get married like this.
- Maggie!

Oh, my God.

Maggie!

Maggie!

- Bonnie, thanks!
- Oh, my God.

- Thanks, girls!
- Yeah, boss.

- Oh.
- Whoa.

How did you--?
What did--?

I can't believe it.

- This is what I do, Ben.
- No, no, no.

I mean, I can't believe you'd do this
for me, Shel. I'm-- I'm sorry...

I know. When I have time,
I want to hear the whole apology,

but right now,
hair and makeup, stat! Let's go!

Wait.

One more thing.

I got the rings.

Wow.

Wait'll you see where she's
wearing something blue.

Hi.

Second.

We are gathered here to witness

and to celebrate in holy matrimony

the union of Margaret Welling
and Benjamin Grandy.

It's not unusual
to be loved by anyone

It's not unusual
to have fun with anyone

But when I see you
hanging around with anyone

It's not unusual

To see me cry

I wanna die

Ed, there's something
I have to do-- trust me.

- Mrs. Welling?
- Just trust me.

Wow.

But when I see you out and about,
it's such a crime

If you should ever wanna be
loved by anyone

It's not unusual

It happens every day

No matter what they say

I'm gonna throw the bouquet!

You'll find it happens all the time

Come on, you crazy people!
Come on!

- What you wanna do
- Everybody!

Come on, come on, come on!

Why can't this crazy love
be mine?

Ready?

One!

Two!

It's not unusual

To be mad with anyone

It's not unusual to be sad
with anyone

But if I ever find that
you've changed at any time

It's not unusual

To find that I'm in love
with you, whoa, whoa

Hi. Um, uh, Vern,
this is Ted, Shel's...

lover.

Nice to finally meet you, sir.

Call me Vern.

So, I hear you're a lawyer.

Prosecutor, actually.

Oh. Well, that's good.

I mean, it means
you always got work.

You wouldn't happen
to be a Lutheran, would you?

I am so getting laid tonight.

Say yes.

I have been, uh,
requested to ask you all

to clear the dance floor
for a very special dance.

So please clear the floor.
Thank you.

Come on, come on.
Something special.

Ben, the two of us

Need look no more

We both found

What we were looking for

With a friend to call my own

I'll never be alone

And you, my friend, will see

You've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me

Ben, you're always running

Here and there

You feel you're not wanted
anywhere

Anywhere

If you ever look behind

Shel, this is so beautiful.

Thank you.

You've got a place to go

- What?
- Do you mind?

- What do you want? What?
- I thought maybe we--

I'm not gonna dance with you.

Dancing with a man
make you uncomfortable?

Get away from me!

It doesn't make me uncomfortable.
Let's dance. I lead.

- I lead.
- I lead.

- I lead!
- All right, lead.

Ben, most people
would turn you away

Turn you away

I don't listen
to a word they say

A word they say

They don't see you as I do

I wish they would try to

I'm sure they'd think again

If they had a friend like Ben

Like Ben

Like Ben

Like Ben

Like

Ben

But, Shel, the institution of marriage
has been around for a long time.

- I understand.
- You can't expect it to change overnight.

Nothing stays the same forever.

But, Shel, it's not like I can
just reverse my opinion.

I mean, come on, Governor,
why not?

Well, for one thing, I don't want to.
I want to get reelected.

So you're against gay marriage...