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1
00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:03,873
[loud whirring]
2
00:00:03,916 --> 00:00:05,222
Hey, Calvin.
3
00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:06,963
I can't hear you.
4
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,530
Hey, can I talk to
you for a second?
5
00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:11,489
I still can't hear you, but no.
6
00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:13,970
Please?
7
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,711
[shuts blower off]
8
00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:17,756
Yeah, man. What's up?
9
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,845
So, our anniversary
is coming up.
10
00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,195
Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave,
11
00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:22,935
we've only known each other
for two months.
12
00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:26,852
Well, I was talking
about me and Gemma.
13
00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:29,681
Besides, our man-iversary
isn't until the fifth.
14
00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:32,641
So, how are you two
celebrating?
15
00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:34,904
You know, Gemma's under a lot
of pressure with the new job
16
00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:36,949
and still getting
used to living here,
17
00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:39,909
so I want to do something
really special for her.
18
00:00:39,952 --> 00:00:43,956
Like the time you tried to take
me to a Renaissance fair?
19
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,046
You would've
had fun, milord.
20
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:49,049
Anyway, look,
21
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:51,529
I'm having a box of her favorite
cupcakes flown in from Michigan.
22
00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:53,314
I got a fancy bottle
of champagne.
23
00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:57,666
I even may have choreographed
a little dance number for her.
24
00:00:57,709 --> 00:00:59,102
You know, like Magic Mike.
25
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:03,411
I'm guessing
more like Tragic Dave.
26
00:01:03,454 --> 00:01:06,936
I-I just really want to help
her put everything aside
27
00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:08,416
for one night,
28
00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:10,896
just try to get
Gemma to relax.
29
00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:12,855
Oh. Yeah, I get it.
30
00:01:12,898 --> 00:01:14,465
You're not getting sex.
31
00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:17,381
Well, y--
32
00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:19,079
you know how things
can slow down
33
00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:21,907
when you get busy
and with the kids.
34
00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:23,953
No, Dave, I don't.
35
00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:27,870
You're gonna tell me you and
Tina never had a dry spell?
36
00:01:27,913 --> 00:01:30,220
[chuckling]:
Dave. Dave.
37
00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:34,050
In-in the Butler household,
38
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:37,967
it's like monsoon season
all-year-round, bud.
39
00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:40,100
So, what's your secret?
40
00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,797
Well, damn, Dave.
41
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:42,972
Check it out.
42
00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:44,278
You know?
43
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:52,634
I maintain my sexy, you know?
44
00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:56,420
Well, you know, I
keep it sexy, too.
45
00:01:56,464 --> 00:02:00,772
A lot of people say I look
just like Tom Cruise.
46
00:02:02,992 --> 00:02:04,341
Yeah.
47
00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:08,954
Yeah, a'ight. Yeah.
48
00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:11,174
Anyway, look, I-I planned
the perfect night.
49
00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:12,915
There's just one problem.
50
00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:14,960
We need to find someone
to watch Grover.
51
00:02:15,004 --> 00:02:17,137
Well, why don't
you get a babysitter?
52
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:20,140
Well, we would, but since we
moved, we haven't found anyone.
53
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:22,316
You know, back in Michigan,
we knew all our neighbors
54
00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:24,927
and felt comfortable leaving
him with them. But...
55
00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:27,147
the only neighbors
we know here
56
00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:28,974
are you guys.
57
00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:30,933
Oh. Okay, say no more.
58
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:32,978
I got the answer
to your problem.
59
00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:36,373
Oh, Calvin, thank
you so, so much.
60
00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:38,593
Move back to Michigan.
61
00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:40,725
[whirring]Let's go, baby.
62
00:02:40,769 --> 00:02:42,727
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
63
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:44,076
♪ Welcome to the hood.
64
00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:52,563
[knocking]
65
00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:53,912
[exhales]
66
00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,527
Oh. Hey, Tina.Hey, Gemma. You busy?
67
00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:00,963
Ugh, actually, I'm swamped.
68
00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:02,704
I brought wine.I could use a break.
69
00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:08,013
Wow. Look at all this paperwork.
70
00:03:08,057 --> 00:03:10,494
No wonder you're looking like
the Apocalypse Barbie.
71
00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:13,845
I just have so much to do.
72
00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:15,107
I have to finish
73
00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:16,108
teacher evaluations,
74
00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:17,675
go through
grant proposals,
75
00:03:17,719 --> 00:03:19,634
and get ready for a visit
from the superintendent.
76
00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:22,245
Damn, that's stressful. I always
thought principal was like
77
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:23,507
a figurehead position, you know?
78
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:24,508
Like the queen.
79
00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:26,423
[chuckles]
80
00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:29,731
I don't think the queen wears
the same bra five days in a row.
81
00:03:31,385 --> 00:03:35,737
No wonder you and Dave are going
through a slump in your bedroom.
82
00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:38,174
Wha--
83
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,697
Where did you hear that?
84
00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:40,916
Dave told Calvin.
85
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:42,744
Why would he tell him?
86
00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:45,790
You've been wearing the same
damn bra for five days, Gemma!
87
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:50,491
And, besides, I mean,
he asked us to babysit Grover
88
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,797
so he can take you out
for your anniversary.
89
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:54,973
Oh, my God.
90
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:56,888
Our anniversary.
91
00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:59,761
I can't believe I forgot.
92
00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:01,893
You forgot your anniversary?
93
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,635
What are you, a man?
94
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:09,161
It's just, things have been
so crazy at work,
95
00:04:09,205 --> 00:04:11,425
and Grover's still adjusting
to the move.
96
00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:13,818
He's even started sleeping
in our bed.
97
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:15,298
Ooh, is Dave okay with that?
98
00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:20,564
Let me ask you this. You-you're
still attracted to Dave, right?
99
00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:23,567
Are you kidding?
100
00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,177
You've seen him.
101
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:29,660
He looks exactly like
Tom Cruise.
102
00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:33,360
Yeah. All right.
103
00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:36,276
Besides, come on,
everyone goes through lulls.
104
00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:42,804
[scoffs]Look,
105
00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:45,981
let us take Grover so you guys
can go out and celebrate.
106
00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:48,288
That is so nice of you.
Thank you.
107
00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:50,072
You are welcome.
[chuckles]
108
00:04:50,115 --> 00:04:53,771
So, you and Calvin
really never have any lulls?
109
00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:54,816
No.
110
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,822
I mean, you've seen him.
111
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:06,741
That man maintains his sexy.
112
00:05:06,784 --> 00:05:08,133
Mm.
113
00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:10,135
All right.
114
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,792
[doorbell rings]Ooh, that must be Grover.
115
00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:15,750
Malcolm, get the door.
116
00:05:17,142 --> 00:05:20,102
I still don't know how you
convinced me to do this.
117
00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:21,364
Oh, you know.
118
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,889
[chuckling]
119
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:26,761
Hey, guys. Come on in.
120
00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:30,808
Hey. Thank you so much for
taking Grover overnight. Oh.
121
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:33,768
You don't know how
important this is to us.
122
00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:35,900
Okay. Okay, Dave,
123
00:05:35,944 --> 00:05:37,554
save some for your wife, okay?
124
00:05:41,079 --> 00:05:43,647
Now, sweetie, everything's
gonna be just fine.
125
00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:45,736
If you need anything,
you ask Miss Tina.
126
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,390
And if you get scared,
don't worry,
127
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,827
because Mommy is gonna
be right next door.
128
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:51,786
'Kay. Bye.
129
00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:54,354
Okay, I think he's good.
130
00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:56,007
Let's make like Tom and cruise.
131
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:58,140
Oh, oh. Um,
132
00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,708
wait, before we go, everything
he needs is in this bag:
133
00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:02,449
his blanket,
his nightlight,
134
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:03,754
and his rosemary
eucalyptus candle
135
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:04,973
that'll help him fall asleep.
136
00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:08,063
Time is a-wastin'.
137
00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:10,370
I think The Firmis
about to premiere,
138
00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:12,067
if you know what I mean.
139
00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:13,764
I do.
140
00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:21,729
[sniffs]
This is a nice candle.
141
00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:23,557
We're gonna keep this
for ourselves.
142
00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:28,866
DAVE:
Are you ready?
143
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,477
Ready.
144
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,392
["Old Time Rock and Roll"
by Bob Seger playing]
145
00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:33,654
[gasps]
146
00:06:33,697 --> 00:06:34,655
Ow!
147
00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,483
Oh, my God!
148
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,794
I think I may have over-waxed
the floor.
149
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:47,102
Well,
150
00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:48,538
for what it's worth,
151
00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:51,802
I think you're hotter
than Tom Cruise.
152
00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:53,021
Thanks, babe.
153
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:54,588
I think you're hotter
than Tom Cruise, too.
154
00:06:54,631 --> 00:06:57,504
[laughs]
155
00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:59,810
I love you.I love you.
156
00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:00,985
[phone chimes]Oh, let me check that.
157
00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:01,986
It might be Grover.
158
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:04,075
Hmm. Or maybe it's not.
159
00:07:04,119 --> 00:07:06,208
Uh, actually,
it's about work. Hold on.
160
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:07,862
Let me just respond
real quick.
161
00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:11,474
Okay, yeah. Sure.
162
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,911
Oh, that is so great.
163
00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:16,479
Anything I can do
to help you relax.
164
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:21,005
Oh, no, I was talking
about this grant approval.
165
00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:23,617
Okay, you know,
s-since it's our anniversary,
166
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:27,272
maybe we put the phone down
and we-we focus on each other.
167
00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:29,231
You're right. You're
right. I'm sorry.
168
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:31,233
Here you go.
169
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:32,843
To our anniversary.
170
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:34,410
And our new home.
171
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:37,021
And our first night alone
in it without Grover.
172
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:39,676
Aw, Grover.No, no.
173
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:40,982
No, tonight is just about us.
174
00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:42,940
I-I didn't mean
to mention Grover.
175
00:07:42,984 --> 00:07:45,334
Pretend you didn't hear that.
Pretend he doesn't exist.
176
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:46,814
Dave!No!
177
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:49,338
Look, of course he exists.
178
00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:50,948
We love him. He's here with us.
179
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:53,298
But, at the same time,
he's not, like a ghost.
180
00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:55,039
That's it. I'm gonna
go check on him.
181
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:56,301
Okay, no.
Gemma, look.
182
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:58,434
Look, I'm-I'm--
183
00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,914
I'm sorry.
184
00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,438
Can't we just have
this night together?
185
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,962
It's our anniversary.
186
00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:06,790
I miss you.
187
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:09,663
Aw. I miss you, too.
188
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:13,362
Okay, great.
189
00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:15,538
'Cause I have
another surprise for you.
190
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:19,542
Is it trying to juggle bottles
like in Cocktail?
191
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,936
Because, last time, I wound up
in the emergency room.
192
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,548
[gasps]
193
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:28,551
Oh, my God! Are those
what I think they are?!
194
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:31,554
Your favorite Michigan
cherry cupcakes,
195
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:32,990
shipped fresh today,
196
00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:35,123
all the way from Kalamazoo.
197
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:37,778
[squeals]
I love these!
198
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:39,867
Grover and I used to
eat them all the time.
199
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:43,044
Now, Grover,
when the boys were young,
200
00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:45,960
we used to go around the table
and say what we're thankful for.
201
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,396
So, I'll go first.
202
00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:50,791
I am thankful that you are
our guest this evening.
203
00:08:51,879 --> 00:08:53,620
Uh, I am thankful for Star Wars.
204
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:54,838
Not the prequels.
205
00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:56,057
Those hurt my heart.
206
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,148
Well, now that they
have a black hero,
207
00:09:00,191 --> 00:09:02,498
I'm thankful for Star Wars,too.
208
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,153
"Now"?
What do you mean "now"?
209
00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:06,937
Empire Strikes Back,
Lando Calrissian?
210
00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:08,765
You ain't got no love
for Billy Dee?
211
00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:10,680
All right, all right.
212
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:12,116
Listen up, you two.
213
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,509
I'm-a tell you
what I'm thankful for.
214
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,163
My vasectomy.
That's what I'm thankful for.
215
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:20,516
And family.
And family.
216
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,127
Um, Grover, what are you
thankful for, baby?
217
00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:24,128
Chicken fingers.
218
00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:25,826
Can I have some?
219
00:09:27,349 --> 00:09:29,786
Well, actually,
I made catfish tonight.
220
00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:31,309
CALVIN:
Yes.
221
00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:33,790
And the rule in our house
is that everyone eats
222
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:35,575
what Miss Tina cooks.
223
00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:39,100
Well, can you ask Miss Tina
to cook some chicken fingers?
224
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,759
Well, we don't have that.
225
00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:48,326
But I could probably whip you up
something real quick.
226
00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:49,545
What do you like?
227
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,068
Maybe some spaghetti?
228
00:09:51,112 --> 00:09:52,287
Got that.
229
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:53,941
With chicken fingers.
230
00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:56,334
CALVIN:
Look, Grover,
231
00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:58,510
you're gonna eat your catfish
with the rest of us,
232
00:09:58,554 --> 00:10:00,121
and I bet you're gonna like it.
233
00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:01,557
I'll take that bet.
234
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:07,302
Now, listen, little man,
235
00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:09,783
there are starving children
all around the world
236
00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:12,350
who would love a piece
of that delicious catfish.
237
00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:14,831
You're right. We should
give it to one of them.
238
00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:20,794
Coming to a hotel
was such a good idea.
239
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,839
But are you sure
we can afford it?
240
00:10:22,883 --> 00:10:25,146
Even if it costs
all the money in the world,
241
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:27,148
for you, it's worth it.
242
00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:28,279
Aw.
243
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:30,064
Besides, I used miles,
reward points,
244
00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:31,239
and I got a senior discount.
245
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:32,283
[elevator dings]
246
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:37,767
As soon as we get upstairs,
I am gonna put on
247
00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:40,161
one of those fuzzy robes,
run a bath,
248
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:43,164
and eat $20 chocolates
from the minibar.
249
00:10:43,207 --> 00:10:45,035
And then we're
gonna have sex?
250
00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:46,994
And then we're
gonna have sex.
251
00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:48,560
Yes!
252
00:10:48,604 --> 00:10:50,084
[clunk, power whirring down]
253
00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:52,260
No!
254
00:10:58,483 --> 00:10:59,746
WOMAN [over P.A.]:
Due to renovations,
255
00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,095
we are experiencing
a power outage.
256
00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:02,400
Please stand by.
257
00:11:02,444 --> 00:11:03,837
And thank you for your patience.
258
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,316
Renovations?
259
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,927
Yeah.
260
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:08,842
That's another reason
we got a discount.
261
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:11,714
I knew we should
have stayed home.
262
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:14,151
Okay, babe, look, relax.
263
00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:15,370
How can I relax?
264
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:17,938
Oh, my God.
265
00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:19,504
I don't have service.
266
00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,115
Grover could be calling me.
267
00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:23,160
People could be texting
about work,
268
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,293
and here I am trapped
in a metal cage,
269
00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:27,687
ten stories up, waiting
to plunge to my death.
270
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:30,472
First of all, we
haven't left the lobby.
271
00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:34,911
Second, I'm sure everything
is perfectly fine,
272
00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:36,696
especially Grover.
273
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:39,176
Boy, you gonna sit here
all night.
274
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:41,962
I don't care if you starve.
275
00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:46,096
Who's ready for some cobbler?
276
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:47,489
Oh, you know I am.
277
00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:50,448
Why do you think I wore
my "eatin'" pants today?
278
00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:51,754
I'll get the ice cream.
279
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:52,755
Hold up.
280
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:54,539
Cobbler a la mode?
281
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:58,195
Okay. I'm just gonna lose
this drawstring altogether.
282
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:01,938
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
283
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:04,462
What do you think you're doing,
little man?
284
00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:06,900
Having dessert, big man.
285
00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:10,904
No. No.
286
00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:12,601
[chuckles]
287
00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:14,908
Under this roof,
you don't get dessert
288
00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:16,300
until you finish your dinner.
289
00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:17,301
Why?
290
00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:20,435
Because I said so.
291
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,351
Welcome to Shawshank.
292
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,442
But why is that the rule?
293
00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:32,447
Oh, you need a deeper
explanation of the rules.
294
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,144
All righty, not a problem.
295
00:12:34,188 --> 00:12:37,495
Um, the reason is...
296
00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:39,149
because I said so.
297
00:12:41,412 --> 00:12:42,457
That's it.
298
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,851
But that's not an answer.
299
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:46,461
Excuse me?
300
00:12:46,504 --> 00:12:48,942
At my house,
when I ask questions,
301
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:51,118
my parents give me real answers.
302
00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,077
Long answers.
303
00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:58,342
Really long answers.
304
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:04,522
Well, at my house,
"because I said so"
305
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:08,265
is the longest answer
you're gonna get.
306
00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:10,441
Got it. One more question.
307
00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:11,703
Why?
308
00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:15,446
You see, Grover,
309
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:17,057
ever since we were your age,
310
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,841
it's been my dad's way
or the highway.
311
00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:20,930
This one time,
I asked him if I could move
312
00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:22,932
my 9:00 bedtime to 10:00.
313
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:24,368
And tell Grover
what happened.
314
00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:25,413
It got pushed up to 8:00.
315
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:29,156
You know, Pop,
instead of being a dictator,
316
00:13:29,199 --> 00:13:30,940
maybe you should
try seeing things
317
00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:32,463
from other people's
perspectives.
318
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:33,813
Ooh, look. It's almost 8:00.
319
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,815
Malcolm, you might want
to get ready for bed.
320
00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:39,470
Do you see what I mean?
321
00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:41,777
You know, maybe what this
house needs is a little
322
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,213
civil disobedience.
323
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:44,301
Grover,
324
00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:45,955
you do not have
to eat that,
325
00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:47,435
and neither do I.
326
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:48,871
In fact, none of us do.
327
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:50,481
Am I right, Marty?
328
00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:52,005
Uh-uh.
Yes!
329
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,223
Uh-uh, man.
330
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:54,442
Mar-- Yes.
331
00:13:56,574 --> 00:13:57,880
Now, I'm sorry,
my brother.
332
00:13:57,924 --> 00:13:59,621
But we didn't land
on this cobbler.
333
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,101
This cobbler landed on us.
334
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:04,060
Well, too bad for all of y'all,
335
00:14:04,104 --> 00:14:06,497
because this cobbler
about to land in my mouth.
336
00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:12,634
I'm gonna save us.
337
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:13,809
How?
338
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,289
Well, I'm gonna do exactly
339
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:16,681
what Tom Cruise would do
in this situation.
340
00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,683
The only problem is,
341
00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:21,686
in Mission: Impossible,
he had all these cool gadgets.
342
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:24,820
In Minority Report,
he had futuristic technology.
343
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,910
All I have is my quick wit
and quiet strength.
344
00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:37,615
You act like it's Tom doing it,
but it's really a stuntman.
345
00:14:37,659 --> 00:14:39,530
That's where you're wrong.
Tom does all his own stunts.
346
00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:41,315
That's what makes him Tom.
347
00:14:41,358 --> 00:14:42,925
And I'm gonna get us
out of here.
348
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:44,579
That's what makes me Dave.
349
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,974
Okay. [exhales sharply]
350
00:14:51,281 --> 00:14:54,458
How does he make it look
so easy?
351
00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:56,765
Mm-mm.
352
00:14:56,808 --> 00:15:00,247
Cobbler. [laughs]
353
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:03,424
It looks like y'all
little protest backfired, huh?
354
00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:06,340
More for me.
355
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:08,255
This night couldn't get
any better.
356
00:15:08,298 --> 00:15:09,734
Who's ready for ice cream?
357
00:15:09,778 --> 00:15:11,519
Ooh, I stand corrected.
358
00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:15,871
Don't be vanilla bean.
Don't be vanilla bean.
359
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,351
Is it vanilla bean? Oh.Mm-hmm.
360
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:22,095
So you're saying I can't get any
of this vanilla bean
361
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:23,531
because of that vanilla bean?
362
00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:27,491
Just stay strong,
my brother.
363
00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:28,666
What's going on?
364
00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:30,103
Oh, White Gandhi,
365
00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:31,365
Nerd Gandhi and Broke Gandhi
366
00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:33,106
are on a hunger strike.
367
00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:36,848
A hunger strike?Mm-hmm.
Yes.
368
00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:38,938
We are tired of Pop's
dictatorship.
369
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,504
We demand democracy.
370
00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:41,549
And cobbler.
371
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:46,336
Hot, bubbly cobbler
with-with-with-with cold,
372
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:49,339
creamy ice cream,
where-where the cobbler starts
373
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:51,472
to melt the ice cream
ever so slightly.
374
00:15:51,515 --> 00:15:53,474
And-and real specks
of vanilla beans
375
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:57,260
start cascading down the side
of a peach, while my...
376
00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:59,523
Damn, man, just
have a piece.
377
00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:01,482
Okay, and here you go.
378
00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:02,744
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, wait.
379
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:04,093
No, he doesn't
get cobbler.
380
00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:06,139
He didn't even try
his catfish.
381
00:16:06,182 --> 00:16:07,662
TINA:
Ah, come on, baby.
382
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:09,359
Give the boy some cobbler.
It's probably the first time
383
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:10,578
he ever tried food
with flavor.
384
00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,365
I don't care.
385
00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:17,193
The rules are the rules.
386
00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:18,760
And listen, little man,
387
00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:20,457
you may not understand this
right now,
388
00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:21,632
but I'm trying to help you.
389
00:16:21,676 --> 00:16:23,634
This feels like the opposite.
390
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:28,683
Look, Grover,
you can't go through life
391
00:16:28,726 --> 00:16:30,641
with your mind already made up
392
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,556
about things that you like
or don't like.
393
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,254
You're going to miss out
394
00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:36,778
on a lot of stuff.Like what?
395
00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:38,519
Well, look at Marty.
396
00:16:38,562 --> 00:16:41,696
He didn't like working on
cars when he was a kid,
397
00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:44,568
but I made him,
and that's where he started
398
00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:46,918
to enjoy working on machines.
399
00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:49,747
And that turned him
into a successful engineer.
400
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,880
Wait a minute, Dad,
are you seriously taking credit
401
00:16:51,923 --> 00:16:54,709
for me becoming an engineer?
402
00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:57,103
And-and Malcolm
hated books,
403
00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:58,800
but I made him
read to me
404
00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:00,671
every day when I
took him to school.
405
00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:02,586
We only lived
a mile away,
406
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:05,850
so it took us five years
to finish Roots.
407
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,202
But then you started reading
Malcolm X
408
00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:11,769
and Maya Angelou,
and James Baldwin,
409
00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:13,902
and look at you,
following in their footsteps.
410
00:17:13,945 --> 00:17:15,034
Yeah? How?
411
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:18,124
Organizing sit-ins.
412
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:21,344
I mean, granted, it's for
little white kids, but still.
413
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,608
Calvin, please,
you're one to talk.
414
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,132
You hate trying new things.
415
00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:27,307
That's not true.
416
00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:28,612
You just flipped out
the other day
417
00:17:28,656 --> 00:17:30,832
when I put raspberry vinaigrette
on your salad.
418
00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:34,009
That's because dressings are
supposed to be creamy, Tina.
419
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:37,665
Ranch, Thousand Island,
blue cheese.
420
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:40,494
If my carrot can't stand up
in it, I don't want it.
421
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,803
Look, my point is,
422
00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:47,849
you don't know what you like
423
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:50,243
until you at least
give it a try.
424
00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:52,941
Okay. I'll try it.
425
00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:54,551
Oh.
426
00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:56,423
Okay.
427
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:57,859
What do you think?
428
00:17:57,902 --> 00:18:00,818
Mmm. It's good.
429
00:18:00,862 --> 00:18:02,429
It tastes like chicken fingers.
430
00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:06,868
Now you can have some cobbler.
431
00:18:06,911 --> 00:18:09,740
Hey, way to stay
strong, little man.
432
00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:11,873
You know, you are the
only kid to ever get more
433
00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:14,789
of an explanation than
"Because I said so."
434
00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:19,010
This is cause
for celebration.
435
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:21,665
Oh.
436
00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:23,276
What you think you're doing?
437
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:24,668
Why can't I have some?
438
00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:26,801
Because I said so.
439
00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:32,589
I can't believe what
a disaster tonight is.
440
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:35,592
Instead of taking
your mind off of things,
441
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:37,246
I just made
everything worse.
442
00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:39,118
No, you didn't.
443
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:42,295
You did everything right.
444
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:45,341
I don't know why I couldn't just
relax and enjoy it.
445
00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:47,126
Well, you got
a lot going on.
446
00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:49,519
Yeah, but I always
have a lot going on.
447
00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:51,869
I think this is something more.
448
00:18:51,913 --> 00:18:53,393
What do you mean?
449
00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:57,353
Was it wrong of me
to make us move here?
450
00:18:57,397 --> 00:18:58,702
What?
451
00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:00,139
I'm the one
who got the job
452
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,749
and made us move
to California.
453
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:03,359
I made us leave all
of our family,
454
00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:05,056
our friends, Grover's school.
455
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,668
I uprooted everything.
456
00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:10,497
Gemma, you didn't
make us do anything.
457
00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:12,194
We decided together.
458
00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:13,630
Are you sure?
459
00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:18,983
Well, maybe
it was 60-40, but...
460
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:22,204
I was an enthusiastic 40.
461
00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:24,902
Dave, you're an
enthusiastic everything.
462
00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:28,906
We're a team, Gemma.
463
00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:30,778
Like Maverick and Goose?
464
00:19:30,821 --> 00:19:32,910
[sighs]
465
00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:35,391
I've never loved you more.
466
00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:37,872
Ugh, I guess that
makes me Goose.
467
00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:39,830
Well, yeah, look at me.
You're definitely Goose.
468
00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:45,140
Gemma, I'd follow you anywhere.
469
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,969
All I ever want to be
is close to you.
470
00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:50,406
I know, sweetie.
471
00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:51,973
I love you.
472
00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:53,975
And I love you.
473
00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:59,807
You know, even though this isn't
exactly what you had in mind,
474
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:04,072
we are pretty
close right now.
475
00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:05,813
We are, aren't we?
476
00:20:05,856 --> 00:20:07,815
What do you think?
477
00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:10,513
Goose, you big stud,
478
00:20:10,557 --> 00:20:14,038
take me to bed
or lose me forever.
479
00:20:14,082 --> 00:20:16,084
♪
480
00:20:25,876 --> 00:20:28,227
Oh, hey, Grover.
What are you doing out of bed?
481
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,794
I couldn't sleep.
Can you read to me?
482
00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:32,709
O-Of course. Let me...
483
00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:35,190
Uh-oh.
484
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,758
Grover, whoa, whoa,
whoa, little man.
485
00:20:37,801 --> 00:20:40,587
In this house,
we all stay in our own beds.
486
00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:41,718
Why?
487
00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:43,329
Because I said so.
488
00:20:43,372 --> 00:20:45,374
You know that doesn't work
on me.
489
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,815
"Once upon a time,
there was a little boy
490
00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:53,339
who didn't know
when to quit."
491
00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:54,992
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
492
00:20:55,036 --> 00:20:56,820
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
493
00:20:56,870 --> 00:21:01,420
Repair and Synchronization by
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