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1
00:00:02,684 --> 00:00:04,061
Guess who's going on a
getaway to the most
2
00:00:04,150 --> 00:00:06,149
- romantic place ever?
- Fiji?
3
00:00:06,341 --> 00:00:08,407
We're finally doing it?
[Gasps]
4
00:00:08,494 --> 00:00:10,112
I'm gonna get to swim
with a sea turtle!
5
00:00:10,242 --> 00:00:12,009
You know what's kinda
like swimming in Fiji?
6
00:00:12,940 --> 00:00:14,564
Golfing in New Jersey.
7
00:00:14,679 --> 00:00:16,081
But we can look at
sea turtles on YouTube.
8
00:00:16,174 --> 00:00:18,366
I do that every weekend.
That's not the same.
9
00:00:18,430 --> 00:00:20,147
Come on, honey.
CNBC charity golf event.
10
00:00:20,282 --> 00:00:22,208
Ugh, those things are
so boring for me.
11
00:00:22,317 --> 00:00:24,673
You always end up getting
pulled into a million photo-ups
12
00:00:24,756 --> 00:00:27,366
and I spend the weekend politely
golf clapping.
13
00:00:27,518 --> 00:00:29,662
I clap big, Mike.
You knew that when you married me.
14
00:00:29,750 --> 00:00:31,096
I just don't
like all the attention.
15
00:00:31,238 --> 00:00:34,025
- Oh, yeah, really, Mike?
- Well, maybe I do, but,
16
00:00:34,141 --> 00:00:35,156
this isn't about that.
17
00:00:35,308 --> 00:00:37,945
The event's being held at
the Shore Side Manor.
18
00:00:38,095 --> 00:00:40,040
Uh, game changer.
19
00:00:40,153 --> 00:00:43,776
Shore Side Manor is where
Mike proposed to me 20 years ago.
20
00:00:43,899 --> 00:00:45,469
We were pretty broke back then,
21
00:00:45,564 --> 00:00:48,954
so we had to stay in the
worst room in the hotel.
22
00:00:49,085 --> 00:00:51,395
They call it garden view,
but the only thing we viewed
23
00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:52,872
was a bunch of golfers peeing.
24
00:00:53,061 --> 00:00:55,228
We were right between the
front nine and the back nine.
25
00:00:55,570 --> 00:00:57,076
I actually saw a ***.
26
00:00:57,593 --> 00:00:59,401
This time we're going to an
ocean view suite.
27
00:00:59,552 --> 00:01:01,387
And I'll hit a few balls,
28
00:01:01,499 --> 00:01:04,482
and the rest of the time will be
nothing but romance.
29
00:01:04,601 --> 00:01:06,862
- You promise.
- I'll be ***,
30
00:01:07,075 --> 00:01:10,072
and we will bury our
eggs of romance in the sand,
31
00:01:10,125 --> 00:01:11,630
forget it, come here.
32
00:01:12,203 --> 00:01:14,721
Oh!
You people are machines.
33
00:01:14,755 --> 00:01:15,739
Can't there be one room
in this house
34
00:01:15,773 --> 00:01:17,024
where people are not kissing?
35
00:01:17,058 --> 00:01:18,375
Yeah, that'd be your room, Ian.
36
00:01:18,409 --> 00:01:20,477
- [Laughs mockingly]
- Oh, Mike. Come on.
37
00:01:20,511 --> 00:01:22,779
You know we've made out
plenty of times in Ian's room.
38
00:01:22,814 --> 00:01:25,532
Oh! Blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah!
39
00:01:25,550 --> 00:01:26,850
Da, da, da
40
00:01:26,885 --> 00:01:28,769
da, da, da
41
00:01:28,803 --> 00:01:31,238
da, da, da, da
42
00:01:31,272 --> 00:01:33,874
da, da, da, da, da, da
43
00:01:33,908 --> 00:01:36,860
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
44
00:01:36,895 --> 00:01:38,596
Hey!
45
00:01:38,597 --> 00:01:40,080
[Chatter on TV]
46
00:01:40,115 --> 00:01:41,465
- Mom, we're out of cereal!
- Shh.
47
00:01:41,499 --> 00:01:43,250
Mom's on vacation.
48
00:01:43,268 --> 00:01:45,069
Right now I'm easing
into a hammock,
49
00:01:45,103 --> 00:01:46,353
I'm relaxed--
50
00:01:46,387 --> 00:01:48,021
are none of you
using your coaster?
51
00:01:48,039 --> 00:01:49,757
Oh, boy, we gotta get you
out of here.
52
00:01:49,791 --> 00:01:51,525
Well, Felix canceled on me.
53
00:01:51,559 --> 00:01:52,559
I'm pretty sure it's over.
54
00:01:52,577 --> 00:01:54,962
Oh, no.
You liked him.
55
00:01:54,996 --> 00:01:56,163
He never tried to steal
your identity.
56
00:01:56,181 --> 00:01:57,414
He was a real catch.
57
00:01:57,449 --> 00:01:59,199
I had
this whole spread prepared.
58
00:01:59,234 --> 00:02:00,918
Guess it's just
another Saturday night
59
00:02:00,952 --> 00:02:03,337
with nothing to do
for Old Aunt Leigh.
60
00:02:03,371 --> 00:02:05,306
Except babysit Graham,
or have you forgotten?
61
00:02:05,340 --> 00:02:06,507
Michael, what are you implying?
62
00:02:06,541 --> 00:02:09,059
I could never forget
my baby nephew.
63
00:02:09,094 --> 00:02:11,511
I totally forgot.
64
00:02:11,529 --> 00:02:12,846
Hope you're hungry, buddy.
65
00:02:12,864 --> 00:02:14,748
I made a big dinner
that was in no way
66
00:02:14,783 --> 00:02:17,084
inspired by 9 1/2 Weeks.
67
00:02:17,118 --> 00:02:19,069
Bye, dad.
68
00:02:19,104 --> 00:02:20,537
Okay, kiddos.
We gotta boogie.
69
00:02:20,572 --> 00:02:21,989
The place is yours.
70
00:02:22,007 --> 00:02:23,607
Don't have too much fun
without us.
71
00:02:23,642 --> 00:02:24,608
- Love you. Bye.
- We won't.
72
00:02:24,643 --> 00:02:26,360
We'll miss you.
73
00:02:27,379 --> 00:02:29,329
Those trusting fools.
74
00:02:31,466 --> 00:02:33,033
We rented out the apartment
for the weekend
75
00:02:33,068 --> 00:02:34,701
'cause we're geniuses.
76
00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:36,136
You can make a killing online
77
00:02:36,170 --> 00:02:38,605
for a four-bedroom, two-bath
in Manhattan.
78
00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:39,740
- Dog in the kennel?
- Check.
79
00:02:39,774 --> 00:02:41,408
- Sheets changed?
- Check.
80
00:02:41,443 --> 00:02:43,243
Mints on the pillow?
81
00:02:43,261 --> 00:02:44,595
For that resort feel.
82
00:02:44,629 --> 00:02:46,563
Ooh, maybe they'll leave a tip.
83
00:02:46,614 --> 00:02:48,682
It feels so good
to be back here.
84
00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:51,085
Oh, damn, I left my bikini
in the car.
85
00:02:51,119 --> 00:02:52,302
Annie, it's 56 degrees outside.
86
00:02:52,354 --> 00:02:53,604
Hey, I am laying by that pool.
87
00:02:53,638 --> 00:02:55,239
- You let me have this.
- Mr. Henry...
88
00:02:55,273 --> 00:02:56,874
Mind if we take a picture?
89
00:02:56,908 --> 00:02:58,842
- You're a real inspiration to us.
- Oh, thanks, guys.
90
00:02:58,877 --> 00:03:01,045
- But I'm kind of with my wife--
- No, no, no, no, it's fine.
91
00:03:01,079 --> 00:03:02,396
You greet your public,
92
00:03:02,430 --> 00:03:04,248
and I will go
and get my swimsuit.
93
00:03:04,282 --> 00:03:07,334
Okay, well, lift me up.
I'll lie across your arms.
94
00:03:08,970 --> 00:03:10,537
Get one on my camera too.
95
00:03:10,571 --> 00:03:11,905
[Camera shutter clicks]
96
00:03:11,940 --> 00:03:14,808
Enjoy your stay.
97
00:03:14,842 --> 00:03:16,176
- Hey, how are you?
- Welcome.
98
00:03:16,194 --> 00:03:18,128
- Thanks.
- [Clears throat]
99
00:03:18,163 --> 00:03:20,113
Uh, I was in line.
100
00:03:20,131 --> 00:03:23,617
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't see you there.
101
00:03:23,651 --> 00:03:26,286
Well, I know I'm short,
but I'm not that short.
102
00:03:26,304 --> 00:03:29,907
Uh, no, I didn't see you
because I'm blind.
103
00:03:29,941 --> 00:03:32,659
Just checking in.
Here's my ID.
104
00:03:32,694 --> 00:03:35,796
Well, I'm sorry I didn't
notice you were blind, but--
105
00:03:35,830 --> 00:03:37,598
But-- but-- but-- but-- but--
but what?
106
00:03:37,632 --> 00:03:39,283
But you're still
in front of me in line.
107
00:03:39,317 --> 00:03:41,085
Oh, because I'm blind
I don't know where I am in line?
108
00:03:41,119 --> 00:03:42,720
No, you totally do.
It's just that--
109
00:03:42,754 --> 00:03:44,104
You know what,
hold that thought.
110
00:03:44,139 --> 00:03:46,440
- Just let me finish.
- Here you are.
111
00:03:46,474 --> 00:03:47,474
Thank you very much.
112
00:03:47,492 --> 00:03:49,543
Now, by all means.
113
00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:51,929
Vernon.
[Scoffs]
114
00:03:51,980 --> 00:03:54,014
Well, as long as you're done.
115
00:03:54,048 --> 00:03:56,183
Hi, checking in.
Mike Henry.
116
00:03:56,201 --> 00:03:59,436
Great, we've got you
in a garden view suite.
117
00:03:59,471 --> 00:04:00,771
Oh, no, no.
118
00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:01,922
We were expecting
an ocean view suite.
119
00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:03,323
Oh.
120
00:04:03,358 --> 00:04:06,460
That gentleman just got
the last one.
121
00:04:06,494 --> 00:04:08,729
Really?
122
00:04:08,763 --> 00:04:11,765
Kind of seems like a waste
of an ocean view suite.
123
00:04:11,783 --> 00:04:14,835
Because...
124
00:04:14,869 --> 00:04:17,471
I got it.
125
00:04:17,505 --> 00:04:19,339
Here's your key.
126
00:04:19,357 --> 00:04:21,942
I had a third date tonight,
but the guy canceled
127
00:04:21,976 --> 00:04:23,410
at the last minute.
128
00:04:23,428 --> 00:04:24,928
Not a good sign.
129
00:04:24,963 --> 00:04:26,313
Why?
130
00:04:26,347 --> 00:04:28,649
Third date's make or break--
131
00:04:28,683 --> 00:04:30,501
You take him home,
feed him some figs,
132
00:04:30,535 --> 00:04:33,120
then he looks into your eyes
and says
133
00:04:33,154 --> 00:04:36,490
those three words
you've been longing to hear--
134
00:04:36,524 --> 00:04:37,991
"I'm getting divorced."
135
00:04:38,026 --> 00:04:40,160
Tommy's parents are divorced.
136
00:04:40,178 --> 00:04:41,461
Good story.
137
00:04:41,479 --> 00:04:43,447
Yep, I guess Old Aunt Leigh's
138
00:04:43,481 --> 00:04:45,165
just destined to be dateless.
139
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:49,319
I'll be your date.
140
00:04:49,354 --> 00:04:51,655
Oh.
141
00:04:51,689 --> 00:04:54,675
Such a gentleman.
142
00:04:54,709 --> 00:04:56,576
Why is your hair
a different color
143
00:04:56,594 --> 00:04:58,979
on the top of your head?
144
00:04:59,013 --> 00:05:00,614
Gentlemen don't ask questions,
Graham.
145
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,816
- [Shivers]
- Annie, you must be freezing.
146
00:05:02,834 --> 00:05:05,586
Mind over matter-- Needed to
keep the vacation spirit alive
147
00:05:05,620 --> 00:05:06,720
since we didn't get
the ocean view suite.
148
00:05:06,738 --> 00:05:07,905
Oh, good news.
149
00:05:07,939 --> 00:05:09,239
I booked us a couples massage.
150
00:05:09,274 --> 00:05:10,891
So I figured we could skip
the banquet,
151
00:05:10,909 --> 00:05:12,492
have a quiet,
romantic dinner for two.
152
00:05:12,510 --> 00:05:14,161
Oh, that's inside, right?
153
00:05:14,179 --> 00:05:15,996
Because I can't really feel
my toes.
154
00:05:16,014 --> 00:05:17,597
- Hey, Mike.
- Hey, Harris.
155
00:05:17,615 --> 00:05:19,867
Back in the game.
Hey, Annie.
156
00:05:19,901 --> 00:05:21,368
- Throw on a fleece.
- I know.
157
00:05:21,402 --> 00:05:23,086
So ready to get out there
and raise some funds
158
00:05:23,121 --> 00:05:24,638
for St. Abigail's Hospital?
159
00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:26,140
I hope the answer's yes
because those nuns
160
00:05:26,174 --> 00:05:27,474
are breathing down my neck.
161
00:05:27,508 --> 00:05:28,909
Harris, this smile
opens wallets.
162
00:05:28,943 --> 00:05:30,310
Watch this.
163
00:05:30,328 --> 00:05:32,296
[Applause]
Okay, get ready to duck.
164
00:05:32,330 --> 00:05:34,381
And don't think you're safe
back there either.
165
00:05:34,415 --> 00:05:35,682
[Laughter]
166
00:05:39,204 --> 00:05:41,605
Whoo!
[Applause]
167
00:05:41,639 --> 00:05:44,525
- That's my husband.
- [Laughs]
168
00:05:44,559 --> 00:05:45,993
Hate to be the guy
who has to follow that.
169
00:05:46,027 --> 00:05:47,727
Who am I partnered with anyway?
170
00:05:47,745 --> 00:05:52,349
Oh, just a little someone
by the name of Chaz Garrity.
171
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:53,650
The jazz musician.
172
00:05:53,685 --> 00:05:55,602
He played the Kennedy Center.
173
00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:57,538
He wrote the theme
for our 5:00 News, Mike.
174
00:05:57,572 --> 00:05:59,706
- [Gasps] Oh, I love that.
- Yeah.
175
00:05:59,740 --> 00:06:04,478
[Both scatting]
176
00:06:04,512 --> 00:06:05,445
Hell of a golfer too.
177
00:06:05,479 --> 00:06:06,663
Which is amazing,
178
00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:07,881
considering
his personal challenges.
179
00:06:07,916 --> 00:06:11,351
There he is.
180
00:06:11,386 --> 00:06:13,704
- That guy?
- Yeah.
181
00:06:13,738 --> 00:06:15,706
I'm raising funds here, Mike.
Every celebrity helps.
182
00:06:15,740 --> 00:06:17,157
So it's 1961,
183
00:06:17,175 --> 00:06:18,658
and jazz musicians
are celebrities again?
184
00:06:18,676 --> 00:06:20,761
Hey, jazz is the only
pure American art form.
185
00:06:20,795 --> 00:06:22,362
Now go over there
and say hello.
186
00:06:22,397 --> 00:06:24,281
Yeah.
187
00:06:24,332 --> 00:06:26,233
Hey, Chaz.
188
00:06:26,251 --> 00:06:28,235
How you doing?
I guess we're partners today.
189
00:06:28,253 --> 00:06:29,686
This is kind of surprising,
isn't it?
190
00:06:29,721 --> 00:06:31,722
"Surprising"?
Why, 'cause I'm blind?
191
00:06:31,756 --> 00:06:34,308
Well, no, no.
But because we met earlier.
192
00:06:34,342 --> 00:06:36,309
And-- and, you know,
I have Parkinson's.
193
00:06:36,327 --> 00:06:37,661
So I know something
about overcoming personal--
194
00:06:37,695 --> 00:06:39,196
Obstacles?
195
00:06:39,247 --> 00:06:40,781
- Is that what you were gonna say?
- Obstacles, yeah.
196
00:06:40,815 --> 00:06:42,115
Listen, I don't want
to get dragged down
197
00:06:42,149 --> 00:06:44,034
into your sad, negative world,
dude.
198
00:06:44,085 --> 00:06:46,837
I'm just here to play a game.
199
00:06:46,871 --> 00:06:49,256
- [Applause]
- "Sad"?
200
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:53,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
201
00:07:01,836 --> 00:07:04,304
Come on.
202
00:07:04,338 --> 00:07:05,639
Whoo!
203
00:07:05,673 --> 00:07:07,474
[Crowd cheering]
Oh, wow.
204
00:07:07,508 --> 00:07:09,059
That sounded good.
205
00:07:09,110 --> 00:07:10,360
Hey, how far did that go?
I couldn't see it.
206
00:07:10,395 --> 00:07:11,645
[Laughter]
207
00:07:11,679 --> 00:07:13,146
Nice shot.
208
00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:15,565
[Scatting]
209
00:07:19,471 --> 00:07:21,250
Yes! Oh, wow!
210
00:07:21,772 --> 00:07:22,852
Listen to that!
211
00:07:23,287 --> 00:07:27,929
Sounds like a birdie.
[Applause]
212
00:07:27,963 --> 00:07:30,232
Couples massage time.
213
00:07:30,266 --> 00:07:32,050
You ready to make eye contact
while another guy touches me?
214
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:34,503
Oh, honey.
I-I gotta finish this game.
215
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:35,871
This Chaz guy called me out.
216
00:07:35,905 --> 00:07:38,290
"Called you out"?
What, are you 16?
217
00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:40,742
You gonna drag race him
down widow's curve?
218
00:07:40,776 --> 00:07:43,077
Of course not, honey.
He's blind. He can't drive.
219
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,312
I thought this weekend
220
00:07:44,347 --> 00:07:45,730
you were just gonna hit
a few balls
221
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,182
and the rest of the time
was gonna be about us.
222
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,084
Thanks for understanding.
223
00:07:49,118 --> 00:07:51,219
Is it hard?
Yeah, sure.
224
00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:53,087
But I've trained my hands
to have sight
225
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,123
where my eyes don't.
226
00:07:55,158 --> 00:07:57,125
Beautiful smile, by the way.
227
00:07:57,159 --> 00:08:00,729
Give this guy your number.
228
00:08:00,763 --> 00:08:02,347
- Chaz.
- Yeah?
229
00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:03,731
Can I give you a little tip
230
00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:06,485
from one inspirational guy
to another?
231
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:07,519
Everybody knows you're blind.
232
00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:09,104
[Scoffs]
Excuse me?
233
00:08:09,138 --> 00:08:10,305
You're just--
you're milking it a little.
234
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,973
- I'm-- [Laughs]
- Just a little.
235
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,291
I'm milking it?
236
00:08:13,342 --> 00:08:14,876
Okay, I wasn't
the one who said,
237
00:08:14,910 --> 00:08:17,012
"I have Parkinson's.
It's an obstacle."
238
00:08:17,046 --> 00:08:18,280
Oh, how about you
in the lobby today?
239
00:08:18,314 --> 00:08:19,781
"I'm blind.
I'm blind.
240
00:08:19,815 --> 00:08:21,333
Give me a room with a view!
I'm blind!"
241
00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:23,218
Oh, wow, man,
I came here to have fun,
242
00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:25,387
and now I'm just seeing red.
243
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,689
Or at least my idea
of what red is.
244
00:08:27,723 --> 00:08:30,692
- Love you, Chaz!
- Way to go, Chaz!
245
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:35,463
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Take it easy, Mike.
246
00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:37,032
We got a caddy for that.
247
00:08:37,066 --> 00:08:38,250
Send him home.
248
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:39,534
I'm carrying this burden
on my own.
249
00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:42,487
[Applause]
You're my hero, Mike.
250
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,022
And I'm gonna take his too.
251
00:08:44,073 --> 00:08:48,293
[Cheers and applause]
252
00:08:48,344 --> 00:08:50,412
[Sirens wail]
253
00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:52,847
Hey, there, Larry.
254
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,300
I believe I spoke
to your associate Maurice
255
00:08:55,334 --> 00:08:56,718
on the phone.
256
00:08:56,752 --> 00:08:59,988
We have a reservation
under Ian Henry.
257
00:09:00,022 --> 00:09:01,439
Sorry, kids.
258
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:02,824
If you want to hook up,
do it somewhere else.
259
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,926
Wait, you think
that we're a--
260
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:06,928
Ew, ew, ew, ew!
Disgusting!
261
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:08,864
Come on, man.
This is my sister.
262
00:09:08,898 --> 00:09:10,081
- Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
263
00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:12,634
- Heard that before.
- I got this.
264
00:09:12,668 --> 00:09:16,371
Look, Lar, I think
we got off on the wrong foot
265
00:09:16,405 --> 00:09:19,541
with the whole incest thing.
266
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,977
Maybe my friend,
President Jackson,
267
00:09:22,011 --> 00:09:26,264
can help ease out
the situation.
268
00:09:27,717 --> 00:09:29,251
And have you met
his twin brother,
269
00:09:29,285 --> 00:09:33,505
second term President Jackson?
270
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,713
Sorry, can't help you guys.
271
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:44,332
I see what's going on here.
272
00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:47,101
The second I get home,
you're getting Yelped!
273
00:09:47,119 --> 00:09:49,037
Okay? Yeah.
Yeah, you.
274
00:09:49,071 --> 00:09:50,738
I'm mentioning everything!
275
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,891
I'm mentioning this lobby,
I'm mentioning this guy,
276
00:09:52,942 --> 00:09:54,509
and the bears!
277
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:55,944
How does it feel to be
three strokes
278
00:09:55,978 --> 00:09:57,445
behind a man
who's legally blind?
279
00:09:57,479 --> 00:09:59,881
"Legally blind"?
280
00:09:59,916 --> 00:10:01,249
Wait a minute,
did you say "Legally blind"?
281
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,567
What does that mean?
Can you see shapes?
282
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,170
I don't know.
Can you see shapes?
283
00:10:05,204 --> 00:10:06,504
Nobody saw that?
284
00:10:06,556 --> 00:10:08,423
Nobody saw that?
Unbelievable.
285
00:10:08,457 --> 00:10:10,692
Nobody saw that.
286
00:10:10,726 --> 00:10:12,661
Unbelievable.
287
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:13,628
- Come on, Chaz.
- You can make it.
288
00:10:13,662 --> 00:10:14,579
Okay.
289
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,130
Come on, Chaz.
290
00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:18,950
[Indistinct chatter]
291
00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:20,035
[Crowd ohs]
292
00:10:20,069 --> 00:10:21,586
Come on, kid.
293
00:10:21,637 --> 00:10:22,971
Mom, dad, help us out here,
will you please?
294
00:10:23,005 --> 00:10:23,939
For crying out loud.
295
00:10:23,973 --> 00:10:25,941
My turn.
296
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,814
It's in the hole!
297
00:10:32,848 --> 00:10:34,816
[Cheers and applause]
298
00:10:36,952 --> 00:10:40,888
Okay, so just put pole "B"
into grommet "Q."
299
00:10:40,906 --> 00:10:43,858
And that should be good.
300
00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:47,028
No hotel would take us,
so we bought a tent for $200.
301
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,047
I think the guy who sold it
to us ripped us off.
302
00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:51,399
Yeah, and he definitely
thought we were a couple.
303
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:53,218
What, are we giving off
some sort of chemistry vibe?
304
00:10:53,252 --> 00:10:55,503
- Oh, ew, gross.
- You could do worse.
305
00:10:55,537 --> 00:10:56,805
This isn't so bad.
306
00:10:56,839 --> 00:10:58,290
We're making a tasty profit,
307
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,741
and we're out here
enjoying nature.
308
00:10:59,775 --> 00:11:03,461
It's a win-win.
309
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,347
No!
310
00:11:05,381 --> 00:11:07,349
You didn't put anything
in there to weigh it down?
311
00:11:07,383 --> 00:11:11,086
No, just my wallet.
Damn it! Oh!
312
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:16,524
You know what,
let's just get out of here.
313
00:11:16,558 --> 00:11:17,659
Seriously?
314
00:11:17,693 --> 00:11:20,011
[Thunder]
315
00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:21,963
Oh, come on!
316
00:11:21,998 --> 00:11:24,666
Oh, this reminds me
when I used to
317
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,619
throw tea parties as a kid.
318
00:11:27,653 --> 00:11:29,804
My dolls would be the guests,
319
00:11:29,839 --> 00:11:31,589
and I'd make Mike
be the waiter.
320
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:34,375
Cool. Yeah.
Totally.
321
00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:36,194
Are you even listening, Graham?
322
00:11:36,245 --> 00:11:37,946
Totally. Yeah.
323
00:11:37,980 --> 00:11:39,947
You know what's on my mind
324
00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:42,200
I want to feel your
325
00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:44,602
Turns out going on a date
with my eight-year-old nephew
326
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:47,205
is just like going on a date
with any other guy.
327
00:11:47,239 --> 00:11:49,491
I'm sorry I'm late,
but it wasn't all for naught.
328
00:11:49,525 --> 00:11:51,176
I got this.
329
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,194
- So you won.
- Oh, God, no.
330
00:11:53,229 --> 00:11:54,629
That's a participation trophy.
331
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:55,963
No, I came in 23rd.
332
00:11:55,981 --> 00:11:58,266
But Chaz came in 25th.
333
00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,934
Mike, I can't believe
you ruined our weekend
334
00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:01,369
all over some grudge match
335
00:12:01,404 --> 00:12:03,421
with a perfectly nice
blind person.
336
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:04,973
I thought I heard
the voice of an adult
337
00:12:05,007 --> 00:12:06,391
coming from the height range
of a child.
338
00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:07,776
Whoa.
339
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,277
You deliberately knocked over
that bag,
340
00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:10,695
so I'd miss that putt,
you cheater.
341
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,915
Hey, my husband is not
a cheater.
342
00:12:13,949 --> 00:12:16,117
"Is," "Isn't..."
It's not important.
343
00:12:16,151 --> 00:12:17,752
What is important is that
we have that romantic dinner
344
00:12:17,787 --> 00:12:19,270
we talked about--
I'm thinking room service.
345
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:20,939
Skipping the banquet, huh?
346
00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:25,060
Figured you'd be too ashamed
to show your voice.
347
00:12:25,094 --> 00:12:28,446
Wow, was I wrong
about that guy.
348
00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:32,701
What a jerk.
And to call you a cheater?
349
00:12:32,735 --> 00:12:34,235
Crazy, huh?
350
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:35,954
Well, at least
that story's over with.
351
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,539
I'm feeling Italian.
How about you?
352
00:12:37,573 --> 00:12:40,375
No, screw romance.
353
00:12:40,409 --> 00:12:43,244
We are going to that banquet.
354
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:46,264
How about Fiji?
My treat.
355
00:12:49,448 --> 00:12:50,899
Honey, we don't have to do this.
356
00:12:50,994 --> 00:12:52,937
We can knock off, we can go take a
long walk by the ocean.
357
00:12:53,158 --> 00:12:54,375
Mike, it's the Atlantic.
358
00:12:54,409 --> 00:12:56,794
We can see that garbage ocean
from our apartment.
359
00:12:56,812 --> 00:13:00,231
We're here to settle a score.
360
00:13:00,249 --> 00:13:02,450
[Applause]
361
00:13:02,484 --> 00:13:05,269
- Be cool.
- Good evening.
362
00:13:05,287 --> 00:13:06,904
On behalf of Channel Four News,
thank you
363
00:13:06,922 --> 00:13:08,840
for coming out to support
the research wing
364
00:13:08,874 --> 00:13:10,608
of St. Abigail's Hospital.
365
00:13:10,642 --> 00:13:13,845
And today we raised
over $1,500--
366
00:13:13,879 --> 00:13:16,214
What?
Was that it?
367
00:13:16,248 --> 00:13:17,832
All right.
368
00:13:17,866 --> 00:13:19,450
Well, I've been told
we're switching
369
00:13:19,485 --> 00:13:21,135
to a cash bar.
370
00:13:21,170 --> 00:13:22,537
Enjoy your meals.
371
00:13:22,571 --> 00:13:24,839
[Applause]
372
00:13:24,873 --> 00:13:27,275
[Glass clinking]
373
00:13:27,309 --> 00:13:29,410
I'd like to say
a few words if I may.
374
00:13:29,444 --> 00:13:31,712
Don't worry, I won't cheat you
out of your dinners.
375
00:13:31,747 --> 00:13:33,314
Because as we all know,
376
00:13:33,348 --> 00:13:35,733
cheating--
whether it be at golf
377
00:13:35,767 --> 00:13:39,637
or any of life's endeavors--
is truly despicable.
378
00:13:39,671 --> 00:13:41,489
Anyways, it's an honor
to be here.
379
00:13:41,523 --> 00:13:44,842
This is a great, great cause.
And enjoy your meals.
380
00:13:44,876 --> 00:13:47,111
[Applause]
381
00:13:47,145 --> 00:13:49,780
[Glass clinking]
382
00:13:49,798 --> 00:13:51,799
Say something.
383
00:13:58,674 --> 00:14:00,141
I too am honored to be here.
384
00:14:00,175 --> 00:14:01,859
Giving to St. Abigail's is
385
00:14:01,894 --> 00:14:03,377
like an investment
in the future.
386
00:14:03,412 --> 00:14:05,513
And we all know that
our children are the future.
387
00:14:05,547 --> 00:14:07,148
Like this boy here.
388
00:14:07,182 --> 00:14:10,585
The kind of kid
who knows to keep his head down
389
00:14:10,636 --> 00:14:13,621
and not say too much and...
390
00:14:13,655 --> 00:14:16,107
know his place.
391
00:14:16,141 --> 00:14:18,442
So once again,
it's a great, great, great,
392
00:14:18,477 --> 00:14:19,894
great, great, great,
great cause.
393
00:14:19,928 --> 00:14:22,296
And let's not do anything
to screw it up.
394
00:14:22,331 --> 00:14:24,448
Enjoy the meal.
395
00:14:24,482 --> 00:14:26,133
[Scattered applause]
396
00:14:26,168 --> 00:14:28,019
- That's it?
- Yeah, let's go.
397
00:14:28,053 --> 00:14:31,455
Hi.
Annie Henry, Mike's wife.
398
00:14:31,490 --> 00:14:34,058
Also honored.
399
00:14:34,092 --> 00:14:35,259
I think that the jingle writer
400
00:14:35,277 --> 00:14:37,562
made a good point
about cheating.
401
00:14:37,596 --> 00:14:40,431
Another point--
if we don't support
402
00:14:40,465 --> 00:14:45,119
St. Abigail's,
aren't we all losers?
403
00:14:45,153 --> 00:14:47,872
Maybe some of us, sore losers.
404
00:14:47,906 --> 00:14:51,225
And is there anything worse
405
00:14:51,260 --> 00:14:54,945
than a sore loser?
406
00:14:54,963 --> 00:14:56,964
Other than the diseases
that this research
407
00:14:56,999 --> 00:14:58,532
is trying to cure?
408
00:14:58,567 --> 00:15:00,318
This is a great, great,
super great, really,
409
00:15:00,352 --> 00:15:02,286
just the best cause.
410
00:15:02,321 --> 00:15:03,287
Enjoy your meal.
411
00:15:03,322 --> 00:15:04,739
[Scattered applause]
412
00:15:04,773 --> 00:15:07,725
Can't seem to get ya
413
00:15:07,759 --> 00:15:08,726
Can I get some more juice?
414
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,945
That was your fifth glass.
415
00:15:10,979 --> 00:15:12,997
Maybe you've had enough.
416
00:15:13,031 --> 00:15:16,267
I could get this at home.
417
00:15:16,301 --> 00:15:19,487
We have apple juice upstairs.
418
00:15:19,538 --> 00:15:21,706
[Scoffs]
419
00:15:21,740 --> 00:15:24,241
And the silent auction
is now officially closed.
420
00:15:24,259 --> 00:15:27,812
I'm proud to announce
that we have raised...
421
00:15:29,081 --> 00:15:31,682
$250?
422
00:15:31,717 --> 00:15:33,618
All right.
That's it.
423
00:15:33,652 --> 00:15:35,786
Turn off
the chocolate fountain.
424
00:15:35,820 --> 00:15:37,321
If you're not gonna
use the ketchup,
425
00:15:37,339 --> 00:15:39,357
don't open the bottles
just for the hell of it.
426
00:15:39,391 --> 00:15:41,842
Huh?
427
00:15:41,893 --> 00:15:43,644
Real nice, Henry.
428
00:15:43,679 --> 00:15:45,646
Getting your wife to fight
your battles for you?
429
00:15:45,681 --> 00:15:47,648
Well, you have to admit
she's good at it.
430
00:15:47,683 --> 00:15:50,017
Hey, hey, you cheated
against a legally blind man.
431
00:15:50,068 --> 00:15:51,602
Legally blind?
432
00:15:51,636 --> 00:15:53,654
Mike, this guy can see shapes.
433
00:15:53,689 --> 00:15:55,139
That's what I've been saying.
434
00:15:55,157 --> 00:15:56,357
Okay, this is ridiculous.
Out of the way.
435
00:15:56,408 --> 00:15:58,159
Hey, how did you know
where Mike was?
436
00:15:58,193 --> 00:15:59,860
Unless...
437
00:15:59,911 --> 00:16:01,445
Think fast!
438
00:16:01,479 --> 00:16:02,697
[Guests exclaim]
439
00:16:04,666 --> 00:16:07,868
Well, that didn't prove
anything.
440
00:16:07,919 --> 00:16:09,987
We'll show ourselves out.
441
00:16:10,005 --> 00:16:11,505
[Grumbles]
442
00:16:13,582 --> 00:16:17,399
You hit one blind dude with a
lobster, and then, oh, suddenly,
443
00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:18,400
- you're the bad guy.
- I know.
444
00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:19,485
We're the victims here.
445
00:16:19,519 --> 00:16:21,053
Oh, look at this.
446
00:16:21,071 --> 00:16:22,688
Lookee, lookee.
447
00:16:22,722 --> 00:16:25,024
Ocean view suite.
448
00:16:25,058 --> 00:16:26,058
Wide open.
449
00:16:26,076 --> 00:16:27,760
They said it was all full.
450
00:16:27,794 --> 00:16:30,746
That was supposed
to be our view.
451
00:16:30,780 --> 00:16:34,399
Well, it wouldn't hurt
to take a little peek.
452
00:16:36,119 --> 00:16:38,537
[Door closes]
453
00:16:38,571 --> 00:16:40,005
[Waves crashing]
454
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,042
Yep, that's an ocean.
455
00:16:47,213 --> 00:16:49,081
Come and see what
it looks like from over here.
456
00:16:49,099 --> 00:16:51,383
But that's further away.
457
00:16:51,417 --> 00:16:54,086
Oh, I see what you're doing.
458
00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:00,092
Ugh, are you serious?
Why would you lock this?
459
00:17:00,126 --> 00:17:01,760
So that people like us
can't get in.
460
00:17:01,778 --> 00:17:02,928
Solid point.
461
00:17:02,946 --> 00:17:04,446
[Groans]
Worst night ever.
462
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:05,781
This is what we get.
463
00:17:05,815 --> 00:17:07,699
Mom and dad put a roof
over our head,
464
00:17:07,734 --> 00:17:09,451
- and we stab them in the back.
- After the day we've had,
465
00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:11,603
I am never disrespecting
mom and dad again.
466
00:17:11,621 --> 00:17:12,788
All right,
well, I'm not sleeping
467
00:17:12,822 --> 00:17:13,789
out here like a pigeon.
468
00:17:13,823 --> 00:17:16,542
I am gonna jimmy open that lock
469
00:17:16,576 --> 00:17:18,794
with this belt--
470
00:17:18,828 --> 00:17:20,445
No!
471
00:17:20,463 --> 00:17:23,615
Oh, that was $80.
Now we're not making any money.
472
00:17:23,633 --> 00:17:25,918
I'm not paying
for your cheesy belt!
473
00:17:25,952 --> 00:17:28,554
It was Armani Exchange!
You have no sense of fashion.
474
00:17:28,588 --> 00:17:29,555
- Are you serious?
- Just zero.
475
00:17:29,589 --> 00:17:30,722
Honey?
476
00:17:30,757 --> 00:17:32,257
There's a homeless couple
477
00:17:32,291 --> 00:17:34,093
having a lovers' quarrel
on the fire escape.
478
00:17:34,127 --> 00:17:36,979
- No, we live here.
- And we're not a couple!
479
00:17:37,013 --> 00:17:38,313
What's going on?
480
00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:39,398
Let's just tell them the truth.
481
00:17:39,432 --> 00:17:40,632
You're right.
482
00:17:42,602 --> 00:17:44,153
Our parents rented out
the apartment for the weekend
483
00:17:44,187 --> 00:17:46,438
and left us with nowhere to go.
484
00:17:46,472 --> 00:17:47,439
Oh, you poor things.
485
00:17:47,473 --> 00:17:48,807
That's awful.
486
00:17:48,825 --> 00:17:50,492
Come in.
We'll get you some blankets.
487
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,144
Honey, help me.
488
00:17:52,162 --> 00:17:54,746
What ever happened to not
betraying mom and dad?
489
00:17:54,781 --> 00:17:57,583
- I was cold.
- Yeah. Ooh.
490
00:17:57,617 --> 00:17:59,451
- Stay informed.
- [Giggles]
491
00:17:59,485 --> 00:18:00,669
Thank you very much.
492
00:18:00,703 --> 00:18:02,121
I could have sworn
I left it open,
493
00:18:02,155 --> 00:18:03,338
so I could find it again.
494
00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:05,841
You know, 'cause I'm blind.
495
00:18:05,875 --> 00:18:08,510
[Scatting]
496
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:11,630
Here we go.
497
00:18:11,664 --> 00:18:16,768
[Whispers]
Keep perfectly still.
498
00:18:16,803 --> 00:18:20,022
You know
who you're talking to, right?
499
00:18:27,346 --> 00:18:31,116
You were right.
I can see shapes.
500
00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:33,068
Skiddily wow.
501
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:37,656
- Oh.
- That's the guy who blamed me
502
00:18:37,690 --> 00:18:40,659
for knocking over the golf bag!
503
00:18:40,693 --> 00:18:43,962
And after all the nice things
I said about you in my speech...
504
00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:46,198
Son of a--
[Elevator bell dings]
505
00:18:46,216 --> 00:18:48,217
So you framed
a ten-year-old kid.
506
00:18:48,251 --> 00:18:51,003
Not my proudest moment.
507
00:18:51,037 --> 00:18:52,721
What happened today?
508
00:18:52,755 --> 00:18:54,640
Usually, you're just happy
to have fun out there.
509
00:18:54,674 --> 00:18:57,375
It's not like you to be
so competitive about golf.
510
00:18:57,393 --> 00:18:58,844
Oh, it wasn't about the golf.
511
00:18:58,878 --> 00:19:02,147
I just want to be
the inspirational guy.
512
00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:04,066
I mean, I guess it's become
513
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:08,320
a bigger part of my identity
than I realized.
514
00:19:08,354 --> 00:19:09,721
If it makes you
feel any better,
515
00:19:09,739 --> 00:19:11,156
to the people
who really know you,
516
00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:13,158
you're not all that inspiring.
517
00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:15,894
- Doesn't help.
- I'm just saying.
518
00:19:15,912 --> 00:19:18,363
To the kids,
you're an embarrassing dad.
519
00:19:18,397 --> 00:19:20,999
To me,
you're a soul mate/blanket hog.
520
00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:23,502
And let's face it, to
that innocent ten-year-old boy,
521
00:19:23,536 --> 00:19:26,171
you are nothing
but a big, fat cheater.
522
00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:29,841
"Innocent"?
He had shifty eyes.
523
00:19:29,876 --> 00:19:31,176
On the bright side,
524
00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:32,244
I don't think we'll be invited
525
00:19:32,262 --> 00:19:33,762
to any more golf weekends.
526
00:19:33,796 --> 00:19:35,547
So this was all
part of your secret plan?
527
00:19:35,581 --> 00:19:37,549
I'm just glad to be somewhere
528
00:19:37,583 --> 00:19:39,751
where we won't be judged.
529
00:19:39,769 --> 00:19:41,353
[Laughter]
530
00:19:41,387 --> 00:19:42,754
Well, well, well.
531
00:19:42,772 --> 00:19:44,356
If it isn't
the worst parents ever.
532
00:19:44,390 --> 00:19:46,108
You two should be in prison.
533
00:19:46,142 --> 00:19:48,443
You're home early.
534
00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:51,563
Who are these people?
Who are these children?
535
00:19:52,932 --> 00:19:54,766
- Ah!
- Movie time.
536
00:19:54,784 --> 00:19:56,401
What's it gonna be,
Slap Shot or Mighty Ducks?
537
00:19:56,435 --> 00:19:58,787
Seriously, two hockey movies?
Those are my choices?
538
00:19:58,821 --> 00:20:00,539
That's what happens
when you're grounded.
539
00:20:00,573 --> 00:20:01,573
- But, mom...
- Keep it up,
540
00:20:01,607 --> 00:20:02,958
and you watch both.
541
00:20:02,992 --> 00:20:06,712
You're on thin ice.
Huh?
542
00:20:06,746 --> 00:20:08,880
Sometimes, you get
used to playing certain roles.
543
00:20:08,915 --> 00:20:10,882
Icebreaker, hey, buddy.
544
00:20:10,917 --> 00:20:12,450
Maybe you're the ambitious one
545
00:20:12,468 --> 00:20:15,120
or the smart one
or the inspiring one.
546
00:20:15,138 --> 00:20:17,923
I'll be right back.
547
00:20:17,957 --> 00:20:19,057
- [Musical ringtone]
- But you can't let
548
00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:21,093
- those roles define you.
- Hello?
549
00:20:21,127 --> 00:20:25,597
- Hey, Aunt Leigh.
- Oh. It's you.
550
00:20:25,631 --> 00:20:26,631
Hey.
551
00:20:26,649 --> 00:20:29,735
Want to come watch a movie?
552
00:20:29,769 --> 00:20:32,738
I'll be right up.
553
00:20:32,772 --> 00:20:36,074
He called the next day.
554
00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:37,976
All: Oh!
555
00:20:37,994 --> 00:20:40,746
Because if you're too caught
up in how other people see you,
556
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:44,666
you might forget
to stop and enjoy the view.
557
00:20:44,701 --> 00:20:49,321
You know, I think
this is better than Fiji.
558
00:20:49,339 --> 00:20:52,124
Well, you are my moon,
and I am the sea turtle
559
00:20:52,158 --> 00:20:54,426
paddling across
the hot Polynesian sands--
560
00:20:54,460 --> 00:20:56,678
- Oh, forget it.
- Uno!
561
00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:58,947
- Darn it.
- [Giggles]
562
00:20:58,982 --> 00:21:00,265
Are they ever gonna leave?
563
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,100
What?
They paid for late checkout.
564
00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:04,626
Sorry, I don't want
to get Yelped.
565
00:21:06,958 --> 00:21:10,666
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
566
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,124
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567
00:21:14,174 --> 00:21:18,724
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