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1
00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:10,279
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives
2
00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:14,079
they were given by 'im upstairs.
3
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:17,759
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
4
00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:20,839
What sounds on earth
could ever replace
5
00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,519
kids needing money
or wives in your face.
6
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,559
Cos this, people reckon,
and me included,
7
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:30,559
is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented.
8
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:35,239
To calm us all down
to stop us going mental.
9
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:39,599
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
10
00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:44,119
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes,
11
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,319
you shit on our head,
12
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:50,319
but you pay the taxes.
13
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,999
Imagine a Britain without
Chatsworth buccaneers,
14
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,479
who'd come on your
face for the price of a beer.
15
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:02,479
Make poverty history,
cheaper drugs now.
16
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,439
Make poverty history,
cheaper drugs now!
17
00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,759
(LAUGHS)
18
00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:12,759
Scatter.
19
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,559
CLOCK TICKS
20
00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:23,559
NEWSPAPER RUSTLES
21
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:34,199
CLOTH SQUEAKS ON GLASS
22
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,279
Sorry.
23
00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:41,279
This is fucking ridiculous.
24
00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:43,439
(SLURPS)
25
00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:45,599
It's a Friday night.
26
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:49,599
Oh, for fuck's...
27
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,999
CHATTING, DANCE MUSIC
28
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,559
MUSIC STOPS
29
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:02,839
(ALL) Hey!
30
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:06,359
All right, fuck the law.
You can smoke inside.
31
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,639
(ALL CHEER)
32
00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:11,919
(MAN) Nice one, boys, nice one...
33
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,519
(MAN) Why? Why? Why would ya
go and lie to me?
34
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:15,599
Listen, listen, listen....
35
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,279
Listen, listen, listen....
No, I'm not listening!
36
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:18,999
'Look at them.
37
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,279
'Who are these people?
38
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:23,559
'Never happier than when
they can mix'n'match substances
39
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,999
'in the company of like-minded
dwellers of the underbelly.
40
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,799
'How have they survived
the evolution of the species?
41
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:33,119
'Breeding like rabbits,
kids having kids,
42
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,719
'scavengers on the edge of society.
43
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,399
'Maybe the tabloids are right.
44
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:41,399
'Point and laugh, ridicule them,
lock 'em up and throw away the key.
45
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,959
'Why would anyone choose to
live here and be amongst them?
46
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,559
'I'm not sure I would.
I'm not sure I'm gonna!
47
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:54,799
'And they are my family,
they are my people.
48
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:58,799
'My name is Stella Gallagher.
49
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,719
'Don't worry,
it'll dawn on them eventually.
50
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:05,719
'"What have we forgot?" Here we go.
Three, two, one. Bingo.'
51
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,799
Fuck.
52
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:14,799
Stella!
53
00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:20,239
Oi!
54
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:23,639
This is your last fucking warning.
Get it sorted by tomorrow,
55
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:25,039
or you're a dead man.
56
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,559
Cannon and Ball aren't dead, are...
57
00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,639
SHANE! JAMIE!
58
00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,159
Oi! Arsehole!
59
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:30,999
What was all that about?
60
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,999
What was all that about?
Don't know. I've never seen him before.
61
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:40,279
Honest, I haven't. Some fucking
dickhead handing out death threats to the wrong people.
62
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,039
Oh, hello.
63
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,359
The Ugly Police been using batons?
64
00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,639
Fuck off!
65
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,799
Norma's doing the cake.
66
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:49,839
Mm!
67
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:53,839
Learnt to bake in jail, says it kept
her in tobacco the whole stretch.
68
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,639
Yvonne's doing the curry. Lillian's
girls are making the sandwiches,
69
00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:00,599
and Karen's throwing
in sausage rolls and chicken wings.
70
00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:04,899
You should stick on a cover charge,
you might make a profit.
71
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:08,619
So what time d'you
think I should arrive?
72
00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:10,539
I want you there at the start.
73
00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:12,499
Then people'll know we're together.
74
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:16,099
Then people'll know we're together.
I'll be 16 and we'll be legal.
75
00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:19,939
Yeah,
but they'll think it started before.
76
00:04:19,940 --> 00:04:23,939
So what? You can't control what
other people think, so why bother?
77
00:04:25,740 --> 00:04:29,739
I'm not bothered.
78
00:04:32,180 --> 00:04:35,699
(EASTERN EUROPEAN ACCENT)
Church is strong, big numbers.
79
00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:38,099
Many people from
east of Europe come.
80
00:04:38,100 --> 00:04:40,099
EU great for Catholics.
81
00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:42,099
Yeah, cos that's what
the country needs,
82
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:44,219
more religious fundamentalists(!)
83
00:04:44,220 --> 00:04:47,219
Exactly. Not weak,
like Church of England,
84
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:51,219
with lady priests and embracing
of the...homosexualists.
85
00:04:52,260 --> 00:04:54,619
Baptism very serious business.
86
00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:58,619
We do understand. We take religion
very seriously. Don't we, Frank?
87
00:04:59,020 --> 00:05:02,899
Oh, yeah, yeah. Fish on Friday,
drink the blood of virgins,
88
00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:04,859
self-flagellate on a regular basis.
89
00:05:04,860 --> 00:05:08,099
I could be godfather.
90
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,619
(CLEARS THROAT)
91
00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:11,299
What is this?
92
00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:15,019
Baptismal vows I wrote myself.
We were hoping, you know,
93
00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:17,219
to personalise
the service a little bit.
94
00:05:17,220 --> 00:05:19,539
What are you?Hippy or something?
95
00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:22,499
No, we're not into peace,
or anything like that.
96
00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:26,499
Do you promise to renounce Satan,
and all his works, and all his pomp,
97
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:30,419
blah, blah, blah...
98
00:05:30,420 --> 00:05:34,419
Do you promise to shower
this child with a rainbow of love,
99
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:39,899
and sprinkle on her head
the stardust of each wondrous day?
100
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,459
We do.
101
00:05:41,460 --> 00:05:44,339
Oh, very much so, we do.
102
00:05:44,340 --> 00:05:45,459
BABY CRIES
103
00:05:45,460 --> 00:05:47,619
Excuse me, Father.
104
00:05:47,620 --> 00:05:49,899
She's not feeding
very well at the minute.
105
00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:53,899
Oh, no, please - allow me to
reluctantly drag myself away(!)
106
00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:57,499
Carry on, Father. It gets better.
107
00:05:57,500 --> 00:06:01,059
All right, settle down.
108
00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:02,979
You see what you're responsible for?
109
00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:05,579
Pope fucking Pious
Head Up His Arse in there?
110
00:06:05,580 --> 00:06:08,139
And you won't thank us for it,
will ya,
111
00:06:08,140 --> 00:06:10,459
when you'll be drinking cider on
street corners like all the rest.
112
00:06:10,460 --> 00:06:14,459
when you'll be drinking cider on
street corners like all the rest. (STELLA) Would you blame me?
113
00:06:22,260 --> 00:06:23,419
Hello?
114
00:06:23,420 --> 00:06:26,179
All this crap about
showering me wi' love,
115
00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:29,459
it's just words to you, innit?
116
00:06:29,460 --> 00:06:31,099
Oh, yeah, very funny(!)
117
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:34,019
Rip the piss out of
the sleep-deprived new father.
118
00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:36,659
The only sleep-deprivation
you've ever suffered
119
00:06:36,660 --> 00:06:40,179
has been caused by popping too many
E's of a night in The Jockey.
120
00:06:40,180 --> 00:06:43,379
Babies enter life pure,
121
00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:47,379
but they lose their innocence when
they're exposed to people like you.
122
00:06:48,660 --> 00:06:50,979
What's the matter?
Cat got your tongue?
123
00:06:50,980 --> 00:06:53,339
Bit early to be mashed, innit, Dad?
124
00:06:53,340 --> 00:06:57,339
No. Y-Yeah.
Y-You're probably right.
125
00:06:58,780 --> 00:07:01,579
You ought to be sterilised,
the lot of ya.
126
00:07:01,580 --> 00:07:04,579
Being a parent should be
a privilege, not a right.
127
00:07:04,580 --> 00:07:07,539
Course it should.
128
00:07:07,540 --> 00:07:11,539
I-I-I'll just leave this with ya.
129
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:16,179
(PRIEST)..Strike lightning
for such blaspheming!
130
00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:16,939
(MONICA) But, Father!
131
00:07:16,940 --> 00:07:20,939
(MONICA) But, Father!
No buts. My decision is made.
132
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,139
Absolutely not.
133
00:07:26,140 --> 00:07:28,539
No personal vows, tradition only.
134
00:07:28,540 --> 00:07:29,459
But, Father...!
135
00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:30,899
But, Father...!
And think very carefully.
136
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:33,179
Not every Tom, Dick and
Jerry can be godfather.
137
00:07:33,180 --> 00:07:37,099
Not every Tom, Dick and
Jerry can be godfather. I could be godfather!
138
00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:39,899
It's like communism
never fucking happened.
139
00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:43,499
Frank?
140
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:47,219
Yeah... What? Yeah. W-What?
141
00:07:47,220 --> 00:07:49,939
Our baby,
growing inside your belly.
142
00:07:49,940 --> 00:07:52,779
We'll even have a picture
after today, won't we?
143
00:07:52,780 --> 00:07:54,299
It's only a scan, Shane.
144
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:56,819
It's like an X-ray of a peanut.
145
00:07:56,820 --> 00:08:00,819
Tell you whatismiraculous though,
I've got piles already.
146
00:08:01,260 --> 00:08:04,499
God knows what they'll be like
when I'm the size of a gable-end.
147
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:06,139
I'm sure your tits
are getting bigger.
148
00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:07,819
I'm sure your tits
are getting bigger. Easy, tiger!
149
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:11,339
Your 10.30's in, love. I should be
charging you ground rent.
150
00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:12,459
I'm security.
151
00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:14,059
With a face like that,
you should beinsecurity.
152
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:17,379
With a face like that,
you should beinsecurity. Best make myself scarce, then.
153
00:08:17,380 --> 00:08:20,899
Come on, Shane,
we've talked about this.
154
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,779
They pay extra cos I'm up the duff.
155
00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:24,099
We'll need the cash.
156
00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:27,139
You and this baby mean
everything to me, to all of us.
157
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:29,739
I know.
I'll see you later for the scan.
158
00:08:29,740 --> 00:08:33,379
OK.
159
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,359
(STELLA) There's been a mistake.
160
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,519
I shouldn't be with you and her.
161
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:42,519
Look at the pair of ya.
This estate, what chance have I got?
162
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,839
The same as anybody else.
163
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,079
Exactly - none.
164
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:48,999
Oh, no, please don't say that!
165
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,159
What, you can hear her as well?
166
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,679
Of course I can.
167
00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:57,559
I'm her mother.
168
00:08:57,560 --> 00:09:00,839
Well, thank you very much
for fucking sharing.
169
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,079
I thought I was going off my dinger!
170
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,319
I thought I was going off my dinger!
Well, what was I supposed to say?!
171
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,879
"Oh, hello. Sorry, Frank,
but I'm communing
172
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,199
"with the spirit of
Caspar the Grumpy Baby?"
173
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,239
I'm a listener.
174
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:11,479
Only when you're not talking.
175
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:12,599
Only when you're not talking.
You talk all the fucking...
176
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:16,599
Only when you're not talking.
You talk all the fucking... Oi, role models!
177
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,519
The deal's off.
178
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,879
I'm not feeding, I'm not sleeping.
179
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:24,879
I'm just gonna...go.
180
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:27,719
Oi, nip it, you!
181
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,039
You're upsetting your mother.
182
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:32,799
She carried you around
for nine months, didn't she?
183
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,679
All right, fair point.
184
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:38,639
She did manage to stay off
the pills and the booze...mostly.
185
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:42,559
Tell you what, you find me
five good men on the Chatsworth,
186
00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:45,479
show that there's something
decent about the place
187
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:49,479
and I'll stick around, give it a go.
188
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:53,639
Well, how do we prove that? You want
signed confirmation, or what?
189
00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:00,959
Hello?! I'm trying to establish
the rules of the game here.
190
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:04,319
She's been doing this for days,
talking, then going quiet.
191
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:05,599
All right, all right.
192
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:09,599
Five good men - or women, I presume -
on the Chatsworth? No sweat.
193
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:15,519
Salt of the earth, round here.
194
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,999
It's hardly a curry, Debbie,
without garam masala.
195
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,119
Just a bit of cardamom and chilli.
196
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,719
I know, but our toilet was
like Piccadilly on a Saturday for two days after.
197
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:27,719
All right.
I'll keep it mild.
198
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:28,919
Something else?
199
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:32,919
Something else?
No.
200
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,799
Everything all right, Tom?
201
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:40,159
Yeah, just the new
Community Initiative.
202
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,279
No trouble in the precinct?
203
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:43,559
No, it's been dead.
204
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,959
Stan didn't say owt
about a new initiative.
205
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,359
No, it's a secret. No-one knows.
206
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:49,359
You're Debbie Gallagher, aren't you?
207
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:51,319
You're Debbie Gallagher, aren't you?
That's right.
208
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,199
Didn't I hear that you've got
a birthday coming up?
209
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:54,679
Didn't I hear that you've got
a birthday coming up? My sixteenth.
210
00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:58,679
What you doing? I know that you go
out with each other. Stan told me.
211
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,719
What?
212
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:02,919
He's my partner, Tom.
213
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,719
We tell each other everything.
214
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:09,719
This is so embarrassing.
215
00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,519
Debbie, wait!
216
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,639
That was so humiliating.
217
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,719
I know.
I thought we could trust Stan.
218
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,719
That's not the point. It's bizarre,
pretending we don't know each other.
219
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,079
If Yvonne knows,
everyone probably does.
220
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,279
Trust me, it'll be worth it,
they'll be off our backs.
221
00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:30,439
Trust me, it'll be worth it,
they'll be off our backs. No-one is on our backs, Tom.
222
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,279
Love's young dream!
223
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:36,279
Don't let me interrupt ya.
224
00:11:56,520 --> 00:12:00,519
LOUD BANG
225
00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:02,639
Fuck!
226
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:05,119
Are you determined to become
a human punchbag, or what?
227
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:08,359
Are you determined to become
a human punchbag, or what? Sorry. I weren't paying attention.
228
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,799
You don't look right good, mate.
229
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,239
You don't look right good, mate.
Just a little freaked out from last night.
230
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,479
Want me to see what I can find out?
231
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,079
Want me to see what I can find out?
No, leave it. It's not worth it.
232
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,039
You don't have to pay me
or owt like that.
233
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,039
I could do with t' practice.
234
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:23,039
I could do with t' practice.
Nah. Cheers, though.
235
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:26,039
What's the wood for?
236
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:30,039
It's a secret project. For Kelly.
237
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,399
Ian!
238
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:38,919
It's not him!
239
00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:39,799
It's not him!
What?
240
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,879
It's not him!
What? It's the wrong fucking geezer.
241
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:45,879
How is that red hair?!
242
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,039
Shit!
243
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:05,519
I came as soon as I heard.
I've had me mobile off all day.
244
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,759
Oh, my God. He's in a coma!
245
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:11,759
No, he's not. They put him to sleep,
to help his body get over the shock.
246
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:15,359
He had a miraculous escape.No
broken bones or internal bleeding,
247
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,519
just stitches.
248
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:19,639
Was it the guy who
nutted him outside The Jockey?
249
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:20,679
I got the plate.
250
00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:21,799
We don't want any trouble.
251
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:25,799
No. I'll just have a little chat
with him about the Highway Code.
252
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:31,079
Ian, love.
253
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,639
How d'you feel?
254
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,479
Ian, son,
255
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:38,479
it's me, your adoptive father.
256
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,879
Can you talk?
257
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:44,879
Liam, get a doctor.
258
00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:47,959
Ian, say something.
259
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:51,439
Yeah, you're freaking us out.
260
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:55,439
Who the fuck's Ian?
261
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:04,159
I should be so lucky,
lucky, lucky, lucky...
262
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,479
After ten o'clock, put 5p on a packet
of 10, 10p on a packet of 20...
263
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:12,159
Hope you're hungry.
Nothing like a tea-time fry-up.
264
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,039
Something wrong?
265
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:15,879
It's just we're fasting, Stan.
266
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:16,079
It's not Ramadan.
267
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:17,719
It's not Ramadan.
It's Sawm.
268
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,839
We do it every year for a week.
269
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,479
It don't matter. We're not
looking to impose.No.
270
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:26,479
I'll do it as well. We're a family
unit. Got to support each other.
271
00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:34,759
For fuck's sake, Shane!
272
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:41,439
Twenty a day. Trying to keep the baby
small, cos I'm too posh to push.
273
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,479
'What team do you support?'
274
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:48,639
I don't know.
275
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:49,759
United.City.
276
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:53,759
Maybe something more cultural.
Erm...
277
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:57,759
What's your favourite uniform,
firefighter or Household Cavalry?
278
00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:00,999
Yeah, something a bit closer to home.
279
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,079
Do you remember your
middle name, son?
280
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:06,399
That's a trick question.
He hasn't got one.
281
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,599
We didn't give him a middle name?
282
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:09,999
Fuck, how poor were we?
283
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,519
Why aren't you dressed?
284
00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:14,999
There's nothing wrong with you,
bar a few stitches.
285
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,759
We've had worse playground
accidents.
286
00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,679
We've had worse playground
accidents. But he hasn't got a memory.
287
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:22,439
I don't remember Saturday night,
but you don't see me hogging a bed.
288
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,919
Come on! Chop chop! If you want
R&R, check into The Priory.
289
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,719
Oh yeah! You'd love that!
290
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:31,599
Clear the wards, replace them
with high-priced rehabilitation
291
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,599
for the working classes, which...
292
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,359
Yeah, whatever.
293
00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:37,839
Give him his clothes.
294
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:38,719
He hasn't got any.
They cut them off him.
295
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,279
He hasn't got any.
They cut them off him. Didn't you bring any spare?
296
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:41,439
Did you?
297
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,839
You know what the weirdest thing is?
298
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:45,959
I don't know any of you.
299
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:49,679
Don't know who my mates are.
300
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:53,679
Couldn't even say if I
had a girlfriend or not.
301
00:15:57,880 --> 00:15:58,879
We'll have to tell him.
302
00:15:58,880 --> 00:15:59,999
We'll have to tell him.
No, we don't.
303
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,119
This could be a second chance.
304
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,119
This could be a second chance.
Second chance for what?
305
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:06,279
Not to be a poof. He might
not remember he fancies blokes.
306
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:10,279
It's not a choice, it's part of you,
like the colour of your eyes, or...
307
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,559
Your favourite curry or something.
308
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,519
Mum, you know when you was a dyke?
Did you choose it,
309
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,319
or was it in your genes.
310
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,959
Ah, discussing the
girlfriend problem, are we?
311
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:24,959
Well, I've no idea how you
tell someone they're too Plug
312
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,479
to have ever had a bird.
313
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,159
I suggest
314
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,799
we keep it between ourselves,
shall we?
315
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:36,519
Oh, look at you!
316
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:37,919
He looks like an old man.
317
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,839
Who give you that shirt?Oxfam?!
318
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:43,079
I don't give a toss.
Get here in 20 minutes.
319
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:46,279
Terrible thing, amnesia.
Imagine not being able to
320
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:50,279
remember your loved ones,
or what kind of pies you like.
321
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,079
He might be fine,
back to normal.
322
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,479
Not with brain injuries.
323
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,919
They can completely
change your character.
324
00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:00,439
I'm so sorry. I've been
looking for you everywhere.
325
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,159
I went to hospital
with Ian Gallagher.
326
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:03,239
I went to hospital
with Ian Gallagher. We heard.
327
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,519
How is he?
328
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,359
He don't know if it's
Christmas or Crackerjack.
329
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:10,359
He don't know if it's
Christmas or Crackerjack. Crackerjack!
330
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:12,919
Well?
331
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:14,119
What?
332
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,959
The scan.
I want to see a picture of the baby.
333
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:20,399
They didn't do it. Needs
two of you there. I'm tired
334
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:24,399
And what's wi' sawdust?
335
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,079
Terrible thing, amnesia.
336
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:32,799
Imagine not being able to
remember your loved ones,
337
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:36,799
or what kind of pies you like.
338
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,719
Easy! Stitches!
339
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:48,079
Sorry. I'm Mandy,
340
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:49,759
your brother's ex-partner,
341
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,439
mother of your niece.
342
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,439
And mate.
343
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,959
I'm gonna have to start
writing this down.
344
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,959
This is the kitchen.
345
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,279
And this is the kettle.
346
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:07,199
I know what stuff is.
347
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:11,199
Listen. I'm shattered
and I wouldn't mind a kip.
348
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:15,079
Of course, love.
Well, show him his room, then.
349
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,159
Get him some clothes. It's his memory
he's lost, not his fashion sense.
350
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,759
Get him some clothes. It's his memory
he's lost, not his fashion sense. I've got some magazines to show you.
351
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:24,279
Not the ones with the animals.
Don't wanna confuse him.
352
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,079
Did the baby feed?
353
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:27,879
Not a drop.
354
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,999
Been upstairs a couple of hours.
355
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,199
I've checked on her, but
she's just lying there awake.
356
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,119
How 'bout her?
357
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:36,319
She's all right.
358
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,759
Or her?
359
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:41,759
Look, just give us a rest, will you?
360
00:18:58,240 --> 00:18:59,759
Franny Gower?
361
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:03,759
Boiled his neighbour's parrot on
the stove. Said it were abusive.
362
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:05,839
Xavier O'Neill?
363
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,759
Cut his mother up in the bath.
364
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:11,759
What about old Aggie Palmer? Nobody's
ever had a bad word to say about her.
365
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:15,599
They kicked her out
the sheltered housing.
366
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:18,799
Turned out she never needed
that wheelchair.Fuck!
367
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,279
There must be somebody!
368
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,479
I mean good's a relative concept.
369
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:26,479
So if we could get her to be
more specific, or lower the number.
370
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,719
'Fine. One good person.
Not five. One.
371
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:34,439
'That's all you need to find and
you'll be up shit creek with that.'
372
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:38,439
Hey, language! No swearing before
you're six months. She's right.
373
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,879
What does "good" mean?
374
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:45,799
One person's good man
is another person's arsehole.
375
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,999
Look at Terry Waite. Moaning bastard.
376
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,319
'Tick, tock...'
377
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,839
It's not a game!
378
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,759
'Tick, tock, tick...'
379
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:56,439
Eh! Alexander the Great ruled half
of Asia by the time he was your age.
380
00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,119
Stop wasting your mystical,
381
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:03,119
fucking talking baby
powers tormenting us!
382
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:04,719
What you doing?
383
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,559
New parenting
technique, all the rage.
384
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:11,559
Compare your baby to figures from
history. It helps them be achievers.
385
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:16,119
We're off out.
386
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,519
How are you feeling?
387
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,679
Fine.Norma.
388
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,879
Live in the Dormobile out back.
389
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,279
Why?
390
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:30,279
Oh, this should be good.
391
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:36,879
Oh, hi.
392
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,999
MUSIC
393
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,439
Anyone there? Please let me out!
394
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:05,439
Let me out. It wasn't me.
You've got the wrong man.
395
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:09,719
Honestly, it wasn't me.
396
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:11,599
How d'you get on?
397
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:12,679
Fuck all.
398
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:13,279
What?
399
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:14,999
What?
You?
400
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,999
(SIGHS)
401
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,239
I know!
402
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,599
Old Harry. He ran the
Scouts and the Boys' Club.
403
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,519
Harry, Lollipop Man.Yeah.
404
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,479
OBE!
405
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:33,879
Would you like a sweetie?
406
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,839
Oh, for fuck's sake!
407
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:40,839
Thanks a fucking bunch, Harry.
You were my safe bet.
408
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,079
Hiya, Carl.
409
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,679
You all right?
410
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:55,079
You're popular.
411
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:59,079
Patsy Bell. Gave four of us a seeing
to last summer, behind the Reccy.
412
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,799
Not as popular as you.
You're a right shagger.
413
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,359
The girls round
here are totally into you.
414
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:07,039
Surprised you're not
a Dad ten times over.
415
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,719
Bollocks.
416
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,319
Lick it, you buy it. All right?!
417
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:15,879
Like her.
She was mad into you for ages.
418
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,039
Husband left cos of it.
419
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,199
Did we...?
420
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,599
Yeah, all the time.
421
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,399
Hiya, love. How's your head?
422
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:24,919
Cool.
423
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:28,119
Just getting back to myself.
424
00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:31,399
Just gonna go for a walk.
425
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,559
Maybe once I'm back
on my feet,
426
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:38,559
we can... spend some
time together.
427
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:43,799
Whatever it is you've been
saying to him, pack it in!
428
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:50,959
What you doing?
429
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,599
Nothing.
430
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:54,999
Not cruising for company, are ya?
431
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,359
Not got an itch to scratch?
432
00:22:57,360 --> 00:23:00,159
No.
433
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,119
You're a homo.
434
00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:05,119
What?
435
00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:08,839
A homosexual. A man
who fancies other men...
436
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:10,919
Yeah, I know what a homosexual is.
437
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:14,919
Well, that's you.
438
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,119
You're full of shit.
439
00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:18,599
It's true!
440
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,319
You were one even before I was.
441
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,319
Well, before I admitted it.
442
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,159
So, how come I've
shagged all those women?
443
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:26,359
What women?
444
00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:28,759
The one at the shop,
she were one of them.
445
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,359
I saw her a minute ago.
She was totally into me.
446
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:32,279
Who? Yvonne?
447
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:33,879
Who? Yvonne?
Yeah.
448
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:36,119
You never shagged her.
449
00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:38,919
You shagged her husband.
450
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:41,999
You're sick.
451
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,839
You did!
452
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,359
And you loved him.
453
00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:51,359
And his name was Kash.
454
00:23:58,160 --> 00:23:59,199
Have you got a pink car?
455
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:03,199
Have you got a pink car?
You're remembering.
456
00:24:14,060 --> 00:24:15,099
What you doing?
457
00:24:15,100 --> 00:24:19,099
Taking in the air.
458
00:24:22,060 --> 00:24:23,299
Has it all coming flooding back?
459
00:24:23,300 --> 00:24:27,299
Not really.
460
00:24:28,420 --> 00:24:30,219
A bit.
461
00:24:30,220 --> 00:24:34,059
It's bizarre,
I keep getting this feeling,
462
00:24:34,060 --> 00:24:37,059
I don't know if I'm happy
or if I'm not.
463
00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:39,659
Nobody's happy.
464
00:24:39,660 --> 00:24:42,139
It's only in retrospect,
looking back, you think
465
00:24:42,140 --> 00:24:43,819
"Fuck, that was a good time."
466
00:24:43,820 --> 00:24:47,819
So, how do I know if I'm doing
the right thing, with my life?
467
00:24:47,940 --> 00:24:49,379
Do I look like Oprah?
468
00:24:49,380 --> 00:24:53,379
Who?
469
00:24:53,460 --> 00:24:55,659
Just follow your gut,
see where it takes you.
470
00:24:55,660 --> 00:24:59,659
Is that what you did?
471
00:25:00,380 --> 00:25:04,379
I have the face I deserve son,
make your own judgement.
472
00:25:07,020 --> 00:25:08,419
What does that mean?
473
00:25:08,420 --> 00:25:12,419
Fucked if I know.
474
00:25:16,780 --> 00:25:18,659
You've got to show support.
475
00:25:18,660 --> 00:25:20,339
I mean, Yvonne's great.
476
00:25:20,340 --> 00:25:23,419
Never been any pressure
for me to convert or anything.
477
00:25:23,420 --> 00:25:25,979
It's the least I can do.
478
00:25:25,980 --> 00:25:29,019
And besides, it's got to stand
me in good stead, hasn't it?
479
00:25:29,020 --> 00:25:31,419
Brownie points in the...
personal stakes.
480
00:25:31,420 --> 00:25:34,619
What, sex?
481
00:25:34,620 --> 00:25:37,699
No monkey business
during fasting, Stanley.
482
00:25:37,700 --> 00:25:39,659
Didn't she tell ya?
483
00:25:39,660 --> 00:25:43,539
It's about self-control, patience,
484
00:25:43,540 --> 00:25:47,539
atonement for us faults and
misdeeds, cleansing your inner soul.
485
00:25:48,900 --> 00:25:52,899
I gave up chocolate for Lent
16 years running, but no sex?
486
00:25:53,060 --> 00:25:56,019
The whole point of being
in a relationship is that...
487
00:25:56,020 --> 00:25:57,299
It'll be worth it, Stan,
488
00:25:57,300 --> 00:26:01,139
you'll feel better about
yourself, and you'll have earned it when it comes.
489
00:26:01,140 --> 00:26:03,779
What?
490
00:26:03,780 --> 00:26:06,819
The food, or the other?
491
00:26:06,820 --> 00:26:08,459
Both.
492
00:26:08,460 --> 00:26:12,459
At the same time?
493
00:26:14,860 --> 00:26:18,859
What's the big mystery?
494
00:26:19,100 --> 00:26:21,379
Did somebody die?
495
00:26:21,380 --> 00:26:24,459
Just, er, sit down.
496
00:26:24,460 --> 00:26:28,419
This is Caley Quigley,
she's an Aislingeach.
497
00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:30,459
I'm sorry, I'm none the wiser.
498
00:26:30,460 --> 00:26:33,459
A Dreamer, an Irish visionary.
499
00:26:33,460 --> 00:26:36,179
She sees things other people can't.
500
00:26:36,180 --> 00:26:37,179
Still don't get it.
501
00:26:37,180 --> 00:26:39,339
She can tell us about the baby,
502
00:26:39,340 --> 00:26:43,339
if he's healthy, and happy
and what sex he might be.
503
00:26:43,860 --> 00:26:46,579
And all she'll have to do
is put her hands on your belly.
504
00:26:46,580 --> 00:26:49,179
She will fucking not!
505
00:26:49,180 --> 00:26:51,619
Wait,
Kel, come on this is important.
506
00:26:51,620 --> 00:26:54,939
Her mother was an Aislingeach,
and her grandmother before that.
507
00:26:54,940 --> 00:26:57,939
Caley has dreamt of every
child born into this family.
508
00:26:57,940 --> 00:27:01,299
Her hands know my womb
better than I know it meself.
509
00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:05,299
Please.
510
00:27:08,380 --> 00:27:12,379
Fine.
511
00:27:16,740 --> 00:27:20,739
Grope away.
512
00:27:21,980 --> 00:27:23,819
Relax.
513
00:27:23,820 --> 00:27:26,819
You'll probably feel
a wee tingling go through you,
514
00:27:26,820 --> 00:27:30,819
but it's nothing
to be alarmed about.
515
00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:35,659
It's very early in the pregnancy.
516
00:27:35,660 --> 00:27:39,659
If I could just...
517
00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:52,739
I see a boy.
518
00:27:52,740 --> 00:27:55,459
A big, healthy, hairy, boy.
519
00:27:55,460 --> 00:27:57,139
I knew it! >
520
00:27:57,140 --> 00:28:01,139
The seed of my son is strong!
521
00:28:10,340 --> 00:28:14,339
I am so tired me eyeballs feel like
they've been dipped in vinegar.
522
00:28:16,460 --> 00:28:18,259
D'you think we're sick?
523
00:28:18,260 --> 00:28:21,659
That's not easy to say.
524
00:28:21,660 --> 00:28:24,579
Some people think you're
born with it, others think
525
00:28:24,580 --> 00:28:26,539
that it's nurture over nature.
526
00:28:26,540 --> 00:28:30,539
With you, being a dyke was more
lifestyle choice, wasn't it?
527
00:28:32,180 --> 00:28:34,219
I'm not talking about Norma
and me,
528
00:28:34,220 --> 00:28:36,139
I'm talking about us.
529
00:28:36,140 --> 00:28:40,139
Our daughter's talking to us,
through some sort of baby telepathy.
530
00:28:40,220 --> 00:28:44,219
I think it means
we are good parents.
531
00:28:46,540 --> 00:28:48,459
I feel...
532
00:28:48,460 --> 00:28:51,859
that I have a particularly
strong bond with her.
533
00:28:51,860 --> 00:28:54,859
So, er, what's her middle name?
534
00:28:54,860 --> 00:28:58,859
It's something weird, in't it?
535
00:28:58,980 --> 00:29:02,659
Brian?
536
00:29:02,660 --> 00:29:06,659
Mum, she's freaking me out,
she keeps staring all the time.
537
00:29:08,820 --> 00:29:12,379
Iana.
538
00:29:12,380 --> 00:29:16,379
Her middle name's Iana.
539
00:29:17,460 --> 00:29:20,579
Think I prefer Brian.
540
00:29:20,580 --> 00:29:24,179
Jamie, get yourself
into that dusky cellar,
541
00:29:24,180 --> 00:29:26,059
and remove a crate
of your finest champagne
542
00:29:26,060 --> 00:29:27,979
and none of your
sparkling wine shite.
543
00:29:27,980 --> 00:29:28,739
What's the occasion?
544
00:29:28,740 --> 00:29:32,739
It's a boy.
A healthy, bouncing, baby boy.
545
00:29:32,860 --> 00:29:33,779
You're looking well on it.
546
00:29:33,780 --> 00:29:35,139
How far gone are you?
547
00:29:35,140 --> 00:29:36,339
Thirteen weeks.
548
00:29:36,340 --> 00:29:38,379
Caley Quigley were over
and everything
549
00:29:38,380 --> 00:29:40,539
is exactly as it should be.
550
00:29:40,540 --> 00:29:43,219
Well, congratulations again, Debbie.
551
00:29:43,220 --> 00:29:45,299
I, I better be going.
552
00:29:45,300 --> 00:29:47,099
Nonsense, you're going nowhere.
553
00:29:47,100 --> 00:29:50,499
Get yourself and this lovely
girlfriend of yours a drink on me.
554
00:29:50,500 --> 00:29:52,939
In fact, drinks all round.
555
00:29:52,940 --> 00:29:54,299
She's not my girlfriend.
556
00:29:54,300 --> 00:29:57,339
Of course she is.
You've been seeing each other for...
557
00:29:57,340 --> 00:30:00,219
For months. What are you doing?
558
00:30:00,220 --> 00:30:04,219
Oh, my God.
559
00:30:11,540 --> 00:30:13,539
Does everybody know?
560
00:30:13,540 --> 00:30:14,699
It seems like it.
561
00:30:14,700 --> 00:30:17,539
Well, this is a disaster.
562
00:30:17,540 --> 00:30:21,499
You're only concerned with
what other people think.
563
00:30:21,500 --> 00:30:23,259
We've only been going
out a few months.
564
00:30:23,260 --> 00:30:26,499
It should be young
and carefree and fun.
565
00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:27,819
It is fun.
566
00:30:27,820 --> 00:30:31,819
When was the last time you
surprised me, did something wild?
567
00:30:31,900 --> 00:30:34,339
I do wild things.
568
00:30:34,340 --> 00:30:35,579
No, you don't.
569
00:30:35,580 --> 00:30:38,699
You act like you're...
570
00:30:38,700 --> 00:30:39,979
old.
571
00:30:39,980 --> 00:30:43,979
VOICE OVER THE RADIO
572
00:30:47,540 --> 00:30:50,219
I have to go.
573
00:30:50,220 --> 00:30:54,219
Thanks, doctor.
574
00:30:54,460 --> 00:30:57,459
That was about as useful
as an echo in a coffin.
575
00:30:57,460 --> 00:31:01,459
He says there's nothing
physically wrong with her.
576
00:31:01,580 --> 00:31:03,819
We could always take her to casualty.
577
00:31:03,820 --> 00:31:06,019
What, on a weekend,
in the Chatsworth?
578
00:31:06,020 --> 00:31:07,819
She's really still.
579
00:31:07,820 --> 00:31:11,819
Her eyes don't even
follow you when you move.
580
00:31:12,140 --> 00:31:15,659
'You couldn't find one, could ya?
581
00:31:15,660 --> 00:31:19,219
'Not one good person
on this whole estate.'
582
00:31:19,220 --> 00:31:21,259
We're still trying.
583
00:31:21,260 --> 00:31:25,019
'Don't waste your time. I'll
be gone, and we can all move on.'
584
00:31:25,020 --> 00:31:27,659
Why don't you have a little milk
585
00:31:27,660 --> 00:31:30,019
and then a nap, and we can
carry on looking tomorrow?
586
00:31:30,020 --> 00:31:31,939
Why are you saying stuff to her?
587
00:31:31,940 --> 00:31:35,939
We're communicating, son.
588
00:31:36,660 --> 00:31:38,139
Just...just listen.
589
00:31:38,140 --> 00:31:42,099
'It's nothing personal, you know?
I don't hate you. It's just...
590
00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:43,699
'I'd hoped for more.'
591
00:31:43,700 --> 00:31:47,699
Will you try, baby?
592
00:31:49,060 --> 00:31:50,619
Talk to us, sweetheart.
593
00:31:50,620 --> 00:31:54,219
Whatever it is...
594
00:31:54,220 --> 00:31:58,219
..I promise too.
595
00:32:20,740 --> 00:32:23,219
Anything?
596
00:32:23,220 --> 00:32:25,939
I'm sorry if I hurt ya.
597
00:32:25,940 --> 00:32:27,939
It were a long time ago.
598
00:32:27,940 --> 00:32:31,939
And you were... you are a good lad.
599
00:32:33,220 --> 00:32:36,179
Weren't down to you.
600
00:32:36,180 --> 00:32:38,379
Doesn't look like
the venue for the high point
601
00:32:38,380 --> 00:32:39,979
in anybody's life though.
602
00:32:39,980 --> 00:32:41,259
Were it?
603
00:32:41,260 --> 00:32:42,779
I can remember it.
604
00:32:42,780 --> 00:32:46,779
Ian,
stop reminiscing and come with me.
605
00:32:52,340 --> 00:32:54,459
Shane got the licence plate.
606
00:32:54,460 --> 00:32:56,379
Couple of phone calls.
607
00:32:56,380 --> 00:32:58,739
Present from the family.
608
00:32:58,740 --> 00:32:59,859
What am I supposed to do with them?
609
00:32:59,860 --> 00:33:03,859
Anything,they tried to kill you.
610
00:33:03,940 --> 00:33:07,019
Which one first?
Left or right?
611
00:33:07,020 --> 00:33:07,499
What?
612
00:33:07,500 --> 00:33:09,819
You know, eeny-meeny-miney-moe.
613
00:33:09,820 --> 00:33:10,819
No.
614
00:33:10,820 --> 00:33:12,459
I can do 'em, if it bothers you?
615
00:33:12,460 --> 00:33:14,899
Me Dad and Shane normally
do this sort of stuff,
616
00:33:14,900 --> 00:33:16,659
but how hard can it be?
617
00:33:16,660 --> 00:33:17,739
No, I mean...
618
00:33:17,740 --> 00:33:19,819
I might not know who I am,
619
00:33:19,820 --> 00:33:21,819
but I know I'd rather
fuck them than chop 'em up.
620
00:33:21,820 --> 00:33:23,699
What?
621
00:33:23,700 --> 00:33:25,459
Is this what my life's been like?
622
00:33:25,460 --> 00:33:27,979
Sneaking around,
scared to tell anyone I'm gay,
623
00:33:27,980 --> 00:33:29,899
but happy to
get involved in murder?
624
00:33:29,900 --> 00:33:33,659
No, not the murder bit.
We mainly keep that in the family.
625
00:33:33,660 --> 00:33:36,619
I don't want this, Micky.
626
00:33:36,620 --> 00:33:38,259
Why would I want to remember this?
627
00:33:38,260 --> 00:33:39,819
But they're hoodlums.
628
00:33:39,820 --> 00:33:41,859
Not them, everything.
629
00:33:41,860 --> 00:33:45,859
All of it.
My whole fucking so-called life.
630
00:33:46,820 --> 00:33:50,259
Ian!
631
00:33:50,260 --> 00:33:52,259
Hello?
632
00:33:54,620 --> 00:33:57,819
Please, baby, please.
633
00:33:57,820 --> 00:34:01,819
You're mother's in there throwing up
rings round herself with worry.
634
00:34:02,060 --> 00:34:06,059
We'll try, we will try.
635
00:34:06,060 --> 00:34:08,899
I mean we've been trying...
636
00:34:08,900 --> 00:34:12,739
Please, please, please...
637
00:34:12,740 --> 00:34:14,579
♪ Don't go breaking my heart
638
00:34:14,580 --> 00:34:17,259
♪ I won't go breaking your heart
639
00:34:17,260 --> 00:34:20,059
♪ Don't go breaking my heart
640
00:34:20,060 --> 00:34:24,059
♪ I won't go breaking your heart... ♪
641
00:34:37,820 --> 00:34:39,699
If I could have your attention.
642
00:34:39,700 --> 00:34:41,499
Sorry for interrupting
your drinking,
643
00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:45,499
but I'd like you to join me
in extending your best wishes to the Birthday Girl...
644
00:34:47,420 --> 00:34:51,059
and my girlfriend, Debbie Gallagher.
645
00:34:51,060 --> 00:34:55,059
CHEERING
646
00:34:55,980 --> 00:34:58,139
Time to open the gifts, I think...
647
00:34:58,140 --> 00:35:02,139
me first.
648
00:35:03,380 --> 00:35:04,619
For fuck's sake, hurry up!
649
00:35:04,620 --> 00:35:08,619
Go on.
650
00:35:11,660 --> 00:35:14,379
It's a key to our flat.
651
00:35:14,380 --> 00:35:16,939
I put down a deposit this evening.
652
00:35:16,940 --> 00:35:20,939
Who says I can't be wild, eh?
653
00:35:21,900 --> 00:35:25,539
Say something.
654
00:35:25,540 --> 00:35:29,539
I don't want to live with you, Tom.
655
00:35:37,940 --> 00:35:41,939
Debbie, wait!
656
00:35:45,380 --> 00:35:46,939
What do you mean
you don't want to live with me?
657
00:35:46,940 --> 00:35:48,579
What made you think I would?
658
00:35:48,580 --> 00:35:49,939
Well, you love me, don't you?
659
00:35:49,940 --> 00:35:52,939
Of course I do.
660
00:35:52,940 --> 00:35:54,939
But I'm not ready for that
commitment.
661
00:35:54,940 --> 00:35:57,579
How am I supposed to know
what you want, Debbie?
662
00:35:57,580 --> 00:36:00,579
You know, do something wild,
surprise me, you said.
663
00:36:00,580 --> 00:36:01,419
Yeah, but not like this.
664
00:36:01,420 --> 00:36:04,219
Then like what?
665
00:36:04,220 --> 00:36:08,219
It's like dealing
with a child sometimes.
666
00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:11,619
I don't, I don't mean that.
667
00:36:11,620 --> 00:36:13,659
Well, I do...
668
00:36:13,660 --> 00:36:15,299
A bit.
669
00:36:15,300 --> 00:36:19,299
You want to be wild and carefree
and passionate and unpredictable, fine.
670
00:36:19,980 --> 00:36:23,739
But I've got a job
and concerns and responsibilities.
671
00:36:23,740 --> 00:36:27,619
Now you can laugh at me for
trying to get us off on a respectable
672
00:36:27,620 --> 00:36:30,739
footing with the people who live
round here, but one of us has to.
673
00:36:30,740 --> 00:36:31,819
I'm 16.
674
00:36:31,820 --> 00:36:35,179
I don't care about
being respectable.
675
00:36:35,180 --> 00:36:37,219
Well, I do.
676
00:36:37,220 --> 00:36:39,059
I've never had it.
677
00:36:39,060 --> 00:36:41,299
I never grew up with a family.
678
00:36:41,300 --> 00:36:44,179
You want to wing it
and be a teenager, I don't.
679
00:36:44,180 --> 00:36:47,419
I've been there, and truth be told,
I didn't really enjoy it
680
00:36:47,420 --> 00:36:51,219
the first time round.
681
00:36:51,220 --> 00:36:55,219
So, what do we do?
682
00:36:55,500 --> 00:36:59,499
I don't think I even have to say it.
683
00:37:03,700 --> 00:37:07,699
No, don't follow me.
684
00:37:19,820 --> 00:37:21,339
Come wi' me.
685
00:37:21,340 --> 00:37:25,339
Since when did you turn into
an international man o' mystery?
686
00:37:26,660 --> 00:37:30,179
I don't know if I can take
any more surprises, Shane.
687
00:37:30,180 --> 00:37:31,379
Come on.
688
00:37:31,380 --> 00:37:34,619
Jamie!
689
00:37:34,620 --> 00:37:37,219
This is why all the sawdust.
690
00:37:37,220 --> 00:37:41,219
Inside of my mouth's been like
a butcher's floor for the past few days.
691
00:37:43,500 --> 00:37:46,139
Da-da.
692
00:37:46,140 --> 00:37:50,139
I wanted to build him one meself,
before anybody bought him one. It needs a...
693
00:37:51,580 --> 00:37:55,579
I'm not pregnant, Shane.
694
00:37:56,220 --> 00:37:59,819
It's a pseudocyesis,
695
00:37:59,820 --> 00:38:03,339
a phantom pregnancy...
like hysterics get.
696
00:38:03,340 --> 00:38:05,179
What about the dream?
697
00:38:05,180 --> 00:38:09,179
She must have been dreaming about
somebody else. I had the scan, Shane.
698
00:38:11,420 --> 00:38:15,339
Here's the baby.
699
00:38:15,340 --> 00:38:17,339
It's non existent, Shane.
700
00:38:17,340 --> 00:38:20,579
It's an empty fucking space.
701
00:38:20,580 --> 00:38:23,899
Seems I'm having some kind
of breakdown.
702
00:38:23,900 --> 00:38:27,899
I either want a baby too much,
or I don't want one at all, they can't tell me.
703
00:38:28,420 --> 00:38:32,419
All they do know is,
my fucking stupid body made it up,
704
00:38:32,540 --> 00:38:36,539
so I'm sorry, but I can't give you
a son, or a daughter, or anything.
705
00:38:37,380 --> 00:38:40,179
No, don't touch me.
706
00:38:40,180 --> 00:38:44,179
Mum.
707
00:38:45,780 --> 00:38:49,779
(SOBS)
708
00:39:00,140 --> 00:39:04,139
How you doing?
709
00:39:05,900 --> 00:39:08,619
You shouldn't be going
steady at your age, any road.
710
00:39:08,620 --> 00:39:12,619
At least not with someone who's
old enough to be your grandfather.
711
00:39:16,260 --> 00:39:17,779
I just feel so stupid,
712
00:39:17,780 --> 00:39:21,219
getting so teary over a boy.
You're the one with real problems.
713
00:39:21,220 --> 00:39:22,659
getting so teary over a boy.
You're the one with real problems. Cheers.
714
00:39:22,660 --> 00:39:24,059
You know what I mean.
715
00:39:24,060 --> 00:39:26,019
I'm remembering stuff.
716
00:39:26,020 --> 00:39:27,579
Well, some stuff.
717
00:39:27,580 --> 00:39:30,699
And...?
718
00:39:30,700 --> 00:39:32,859
I can't believe that's all there is,
719
00:39:32,860 --> 00:39:36,539
that I've settled for what I've got.
720
00:39:36,540 --> 00:39:38,139
You haven't settled.
721
00:39:38,140 --> 00:39:40,659
Everyone thinks
the sun shines out your arse.
722
00:39:40,660 --> 00:39:44,659
Not about what other
people think, though, is it?
723
00:39:54,380 --> 00:39:56,059
Carl's right.
724
00:39:56,060 --> 00:39:57,299
No, he's not!
725
00:39:57,300 --> 00:40:00,099
About the gay thing.
726
00:40:00,100 --> 00:40:02,459
About it being a second chance.
727
00:40:02,460 --> 00:40:06,459
I've got to make changes, Debs.
728
00:40:14,500 --> 00:40:17,379
Get shot of the carrots, Ches.
729
00:40:17,380 --> 00:40:20,219
After sundown, all bets are off.
730
00:40:20,220 --> 00:40:21,419
What have you got?
731
00:40:21,420 --> 00:40:24,779
What have I not got. Must have
nearly every dish on Ashoka's menu.
732
00:40:24,780 --> 00:40:28,339
Have you really had nothing to
eat or drink, sunrise to sunset?
733
00:40:28,340 --> 00:40:31,539
Two days now. I'm really
starting to feel the benefit.
734
00:40:31,540 --> 00:40:33,499
Didn't think you were up to it.
735
00:40:33,500 --> 00:40:37,219
I can understand supporting us
during Ramadan, but Sawm's voluntary.
736
00:40:37,220 --> 00:40:39,979
That's going the extra mile.
737
00:40:39,980 --> 00:40:43,979
Voluntary?
738
00:40:48,100 --> 00:40:50,779
Sawm is voluntary.
Not compulsory, voluntary.
739
00:40:50,780 --> 00:40:51,859
Yeah, I know.
740
00:40:51,860 --> 00:40:54,579
Chicken jalfrezi and a lamb bhuna.
Get upstairs.
741
00:40:54,580 --> 00:40:58,579
But...Now!
742
00:40:58,820 --> 00:41:02,819
Mum?
743
00:41:03,020 --> 00:41:07,019
Debbie!
Please, we have to talk.
744
00:41:08,380 --> 00:41:12,379
Debbie!
745
00:41:13,620 --> 00:41:16,779
Oi, I've got a baby
sleeping in there, or not sleeping.
746
00:41:16,780 --> 00:41:18,139
She's still in there.
747
00:41:18,140 --> 00:41:19,579
I want to talk to her.
748
00:41:19,580 --> 00:41:22,339
That's a woman's prerogative, son.
Lesson number one.
749
00:41:22,340 --> 00:41:24,459
That's a woman's prerogative, son.
Lesson number one. I said, I want to talk to her!
750
00:41:24,460 --> 00:41:25,699
Agh!
751
00:41:25,700 --> 00:41:27,979
What did you do that for?
752
00:41:27,980 --> 00:41:30,419
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
753
00:41:30,420 --> 00:41:33,459
Just...
Because you picked the wrong night.
754
00:41:33,460 --> 00:41:37,459
There's been enough crying
round here. I'm not having it.
755
00:41:38,140 --> 00:41:39,699
I've got a gun.
756
00:41:39,700 --> 00:41:42,619
Yeah, and I don't give
a monkey's fart if you use it.
757
00:41:42,620 --> 00:41:46,619
I've got a wife and a daughter
in there, both of whom are going to need scraping off the floor later.
758
00:41:47,820 --> 00:41:51,819
So go on, do your worst.
759
00:41:53,300 --> 00:41:56,139
Fine.
760
00:41:56,140 --> 00:42:00,139
I'll use it on myself.
761
00:42:00,740 --> 00:42:01,979
Dad?
762
00:42:01,980 --> 00:42:04,939
Go inside, Carl.
763
00:42:04,940 --> 00:42:06,179
You don't understand.
764
00:42:06,180 --> 00:42:07,539
I can't make you out,
you've got the...
765
00:42:07,540 --> 00:42:10,659
I can't make you out,
you've got the... You don't understand. I love her.
766
00:42:10,660 --> 00:42:14,659
I've got nine kids
by two different women,
767
00:42:15,300 --> 00:42:19,299
both of whom are beautifully demented
in their own unique manner.
768
00:42:20,140 --> 00:42:22,699
You think I haven't shed tears?
769
00:42:22,700 --> 00:42:25,419
We could have made it
if it wasn't for everybody else.
770
00:42:25,420 --> 00:42:28,139
We could have made it
if it wasn't for everybody else. There's always someone to blame.
771
00:42:28,140 --> 00:42:31,419
I'll tell you something
I do know, though.
772
00:42:31,420 --> 00:42:33,259
When it goes bad,
773
00:42:33,260 --> 00:42:37,259
no matter how hard you try,
you'll never get it back again.
774
00:42:37,340 --> 00:42:39,379
Never!
775
00:42:39,380 --> 00:42:42,059
So just gather yourself up,
and move on.
776
00:42:42,060 --> 00:42:43,339
I'd rather die.
777
00:42:43,340 --> 00:42:45,979
Then, think on this, Constable.
778
00:42:45,980 --> 00:42:48,299
That is my daughter in there,
779
00:42:48,300 --> 00:42:50,779
and if you ruin her life
780
00:42:50,780 --> 00:42:54,779
by blowing your charming,
but deeply flawed, Celtic brains
781
00:42:55,980 --> 00:42:57,899
all over my back yard,
782
00:42:57,900 --> 00:43:01,899
I will piss on your grave
each and every fucking day.
783
00:43:03,220 --> 00:43:07,219
That I promise ya.
784
00:43:09,180 --> 00:43:11,739
Don't be a daftie, give me that.
785
00:43:11,740 --> 00:43:13,139
Is everything all right?
786
00:43:13,140 --> 00:43:17,139
Yeah. Yeah.
787
00:43:17,660 --> 00:43:21,019
Think there's a lad could
do with an escort home, Stan.
788
00:43:21,020 --> 00:43:24,019
Of course.
I'll just get dressed.
789
00:43:24,020 --> 00:43:28,019
Come in, Tom.
790
00:43:48,900 --> 00:43:50,419
Oh, how...?
791
00:43:50,420 --> 00:43:54,419
I don't know.
She wouldn't stop crying,
792
00:43:54,700 --> 00:43:58,699
and I didn't know what else to do,
and she hasn't come up for air.
793
00:43:59,020 --> 00:44:03,019
Oh.
794
00:44:05,260 --> 00:44:09,259
So what's the story, morning glory?
795
00:44:12,340 --> 00:44:16,339
I'm proud of ya, Dad.
796
00:44:23,300 --> 00:44:27,299
I baptise you
Stella Iana Princess Gallagher,
797
00:44:28,940 --> 00:44:32,939
in the name of the Father
and the Son and the Holy Ghost.
798
00:44:33,420 --> 00:44:34,659
Amen.
799
00:44:34,660 --> 00:44:37,419
Thought you might want these.
800
00:44:37,420 --> 00:44:38,859
Only if you two will be godparents.
801
00:44:38,860 --> 00:44:40,459
Only if you two will be godparents.
Can I be the bloke?
802
00:44:40,460 --> 00:44:44,459
I don't mind.
803
00:44:45,340 --> 00:44:49,219
Do you promise to shower this child
804
00:44:49,220 --> 00:44:52,179
with a rainbow of love,
and sprinkle on her head
805
00:44:52,180 --> 00:44:55,299
the star-dust of each wondrous day?
806
00:44:55,300 --> 00:44:59,299
(BOTH) We do.
807
00:45:12,420 --> 00:45:14,339
What are you doing?
808
00:45:14,340 --> 00:45:15,939
What are you doing?
I'm going away for a bit.
809
00:45:15,940 --> 00:45:17,659
You haven't had your stitches out.
810
00:45:17,660 --> 00:45:19,179
They're dissolving ones.
It'll be fine.
811
00:45:19,180 --> 00:45:21,179
They're dissolving ones.
It'll be fine. Where are you going?
812
00:45:21,180 --> 00:45:22,899
I don't know yet.
813
00:45:22,900 --> 00:45:26,899
I've got some money in the bank,
or so the statement says. I'll see where I end up.
814
00:45:27,140 --> 00:45:28,299
Do you hate us?
815
00:45:28,300 --> 00:45:30,619
Do you hate us?
God, no. I love ya.
816
00:45:30,620 --> 00:45:34,619
It's just remembering stuff
you'd forgotten about yourself.
817
00:45:35,500 --> 00:45:39,099
It's exciting,
but it's disappointing, too.
818
00:45:39,100 --> 00:45:41,979
And I don't want disappointments.
819
00:45:41,980 --> 00:45:43,619
Will you write to us?
820
00:45:43,620 --> 00:45:47,539
I'll phone you. It's not the
18th-fucking-century.
821
00:45:47,540 --> 00:45:48,939
Shouldn't you tell the rest of them?
822
00:45:48,940 --> 00:45:50,899
Shouldn't you tell the rest of them?
You tell them for me.
823
00:45:50,900 --> 00:45:54,899
They've had a rough few days.
824
00:45:55,020 --> 00:45:57,019
But you'll come back?
Course I will.
825
00:45:57,020 --> 00:45:58,659
You fucking better.
826
00:45:58,660 --> 00:46:02,659
Oi! Just cos you're 16,
don't mean you can swear.
827
00:46:09,900 --> 00:46:13,899
So maybe the tabloids are wrong
and we, yes, we are not all so bad.
828
00:46:15,700 --> 00:46:19,699
So what if we wear our hearts
and our appetites on our sleeves?
829
00:46:19,700 --> 00:46:21,339
Who's to judge? You?
830
00:46:21,340 --> 00:46:24,019
Life shouldn't be bland.
831
00:46:24,020 --> 00:46:26,179
You get one shot.
832
00:46:26,180 --> 00:46:28,819
Life should be devoured
like the feast that it is.
833
00:46:28,820 --> 00:46:32,819
Keith Richards on a bender,
and that's why I'm sticking around.
834
00:46:32,869 --> 00:46:37,419
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