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1
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'Now nobody's saying
the Chatsworth Estate is the garden of Eden
2
00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:08,628
'but it's been a good home to us -
me, Frank Gallagher,
3
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,717
'and me kids who l'm proud of,
4
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'cos every single one of them
reminds me a little of me.
5
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:19,030
'They can all think for themselves,
which they've me to thank for.'
6
00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:21,389
- Run! Run for it!
- Leg it!
7
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,238
'Fiona, who's a massive help,
8
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'Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite,
which is why nobody calls him Philip now,
9
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,992
'Ian, a lot like his mam,
10
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,998
'which is handy for the others
cos she's disappeared into thin air,
11
00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,474
'and Carl - we daren't let him grow his hair
12
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:40,069
'cos it stands on end and makes him
look like Toyah and nits love it.
13
00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,749
'Debbie - sent by God. Total angel.
14
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:47,918
'You've to check your change but she'll go
miles out of her way to do you a favour.
15
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:54,115
'Plus Liam - gonna be a star
once we've got the fits under control.
16
00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:59,917
'Sheila, me bird. Couldn't be happier...
One plate short of a full set, like.
17
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:04,795
'Fantastic neighbours Kev and Veronica.
Lend you anything. Well, not anything.
18
00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:08,674
'But all of them to a man know,
first and foremost,
19
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,678
'one of the most vital necessities in this life
20
00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:15,633
'is they know how to throw a party!
21
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,159
'Scatter!'
22
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(Ian) 'When you're a Gallagher
it can feel like more shit happens
23
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,877
'than the average.
24
00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,196
'But if you think about it,
shit happening is fact of life.
25
00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:29,232
'There's nothing special about
being part of our family.
26
00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:32,431
'What really is special about being a
Gallagher?
27
00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,550
'You'd have to ask Fiona.'
28
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'A bit of pride, maybe, and how you
cope when it all hits the fan...
29
00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:42,993
'especially if you're standing
right in front of it at the time.
30
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,634
'The thing l rate about Fiona
is that she didn't even duck.'
31
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,875
l wouldn't kick him out of bed for a wet fart.
32
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,069
He's not my type.
33
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,588
He's everyone's type! He's a fucking classic!
34
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,677
l think l'm all right, thanks.
35
00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,199
Fancy a drink?
36
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:00,913
Yes, mate?
37
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,599
Two Manila coladas, please.
38
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:07,553
We've run out of Manila, l can do them with
rum.
39
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,512
You're all right, mate. l'll have them without.
40
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,870
- Two Manila coladas without the Manila?
- Yeah.
41
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,990
Fucking ladies night and not a chick in the
room.
42
00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:18,513
Er, name?
43
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,039
Ryan.
44
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,275
He's a footballer.
45
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,311
Fuck off!
46
00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:27,272
Fucking hell! He's not Ryan Giggs, is he?
47
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:30,232
Veronica, you have seen him.
48
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,635
Oh, yeah.
49
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,513
Only Sunday League.
50
00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:37,755
Still, fit as arseholes.
51
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,233
(Woman) Got a spare tampon?
52
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:42,238
Hang on.
53
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,231
(Woman) l feel sick.
54
00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:52,273
Let's go, while they're still serving.
55
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,551
PHONE RlNGS
56
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,679
Hello.
57
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:12,838
How the fuck did that happen?
58
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,152
How the fuck did Fiona end up with Joey
Dawson?
59
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,679
Joey Dawson?!
60
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,756
Joey.
61
00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:29,559
Oh...Joey.
62
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:30,669
Oh, fuck!
63
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:31,709
What was he like?
64
00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:36,109
Phwoar!
65
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,718
Oh, fuck!
66
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,432
Didn't think he would be.
67
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,152
l don't think we used anything.
68
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,031
l thought you were on the pill?
69
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,229
When l was with Steve, yeah.
70
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,669
Half a packet now, half a packet later.
71
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,234
Works the same as the morning-after pill.
72
00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,271
(Liam) Wake up!
73
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,390
Liam!
74
00:03:58,440 --> 00:03:59,668
Morning.
75
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,159
(TV) 'lt's your chance to phone
in this morning and the topic
76
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,236
'is sexually transmitted diseases.
77
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,590
'So, we've got...'
78
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,552
Joey Dawson?!
79
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:16,309
Don't bother. l can guarantee it won't be funny.
80
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,671
You went to bed with our Fiona?
81
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,199
Get me...
82
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,591
Fuck.
83
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,073
You went to bed with him?!
84
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,315
lt happens, Carl.
85
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,157
Do you want some toast?
86
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,350
Two slices, my darling. What's happened?
87
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:37,393
Fiona had sexual intercourse with Joey
Dawson.
88
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:38,395
Debbie!
89
00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,874
That's what Mrs Henderson
calls it in Health And Society.
90
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,469
She says it's immature
to use the other words.
91
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,795
Looks like he shagged you ragged.
92
00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:49,593
Change the fucking record!
93
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,232
< Argh!
94
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,874
Shit. Marty!
95
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,792
He shut me arm in the fuckin' door!
96
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,353
Cold compress.
97
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,231
That's what Veronica always says.
98
00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:05,670
Get a flannel. l don't know what
you're playing at, Marty.
99
00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:10,831
Liam!
100
00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:19,676
(lan) Go, go!
101
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,756
- What?
- The gears. l can't...
102
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,030
Hurry up! For God's sake!
103
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,998
Blood group?
104
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:39,674
AB, AB, A, AB positive, O,
B positive. l don't know yours.
105
00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:43,429
Give it a few minutes. Then you
can go home with mummy and daddy.
106
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:44,708
No, we're not...
107
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,955
No more taking mummy's tablets!
108
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,878
We got everything out of him
in time and hormones
109
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,478
aren't immediately dangerous.
110
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:55,593
Worse case scenario
would be him growing a pair of tits.
111
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,359
HE CHUCKLES
112
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,277
For God's sake!
113
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,596
lf you that worried about it, get an X-ray.
114
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:07,519
(Debbie) Ask me. l remember every Christmas
prezzie for the last eight years.
115
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,028
l'm really sorry, Joey.
116
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:11,229
1 998.
117
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:13,510
(Debbie) Christmas 1 998 -
118
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:17,519
He-Man mega-fighter, Kylie CDs,
119
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,039
selection box from dad.
120
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,390
Skateboard, Louise CD,
selection box from dad.
121
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,237
Tinky Winky,
122
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:25,838
video,
123
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,997
selection box from dad.
124
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,112
Right. l'll see you then.
125
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,957
l didn't know you lived round here?
126
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,638
Extension on Lyle Close. >
127
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,193
Finishing off, like.
128
00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:41,074
Told you l could do the Christmas presents.
129
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,350
Yeah, but you got the blood groups wrong,
freak.
130
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,231
No, l didn't.
131
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,793
How much?
132
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:57,073
At least it's not his plastering arm.
133
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,395
AB, A,
134
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:03,274
AB, B, O.
135
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:06,039
l prefer the new notes
from the cash machine.
136
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:09,516
Debbie, look. Somebody's cocked up.
137
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,551
They do this in biology.
138
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,955
You need two Os.
139
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,468
One from each parent to be just O.
140
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:22,116
O's recessive. Somebody's got lan's
blood group wrong
141
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,549
which means you're wrong, which
means l'm not liable for ten quid.
142
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,955
Doesn't have to mean that.
143
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,672
Yes it does.
144
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:32,838
lt could mean that dad's not lan's dad. Durrr!
145
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,871
What?
146
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,195
KNOCK ON DOOR
147
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:40,232
Can someone get that?
148
00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:43,158
Here, love, give it to me.
149
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:44,633
Have you got any aspirin at yours?
150
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,114
l've got a head like a fucking drill.
151
00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:48,309
This not a good time?
152
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,271
She wants to talk to mum.
153
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:51,799
l'm from the health visiting team.
154
00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:55,833
The hospital contacted
us about Liam's overdose.
155
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,474
lt wasn't an overdose.
156
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,750
Their word, not mine. lt's just a follow-up.
157
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:04,588
Your mum not in? Or your dad.
We try not to be sexist!
158
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:06,039
Not at the minute, no.
159
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:09,470
l am Liam's sister,
so l can answer any questions.
160
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:11,192
Gallagher.
161
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,276
Thought it might be.
162
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:16,039
You don't remember me, do you?
163
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,753
Katrina Webb, from school?
164
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:21,992
Katrina.
165
00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:24,110
lt's all right, you can say it -
the sperm whale.
166
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:26,355
You have lost a fucking tonne!
167
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:30,279
Quick Slim. A shake for
breakfast, a soup for lunch
168
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:31,639
and then a sensible tea.
169
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,831
For three-and-a-half years.
170
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,199
Fiona Gallagher.
171
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:40,358
Bet you never thought the sperm
whale be a health professional, eh?
172
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,391
OK if l have a look at your brother?
173
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,834
Just my fucking luck, them sending her.
174
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,075
She's all right, in't she, sperm whale?
175
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,754
Veronica, l gave her that name.
176
00:08:55,800 --> 00:09:00,191
She hated my guts at school
because l snogged a boy she fancied.
177
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,595
Ricky Parr.
178
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,518
A little bit of power, she'll be loving this.
179
00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,232
Right as rain.
180
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,555
l'm surprised you're still living at home, Fiona.
181
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,318
Thought you would've been married by now.
182
00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:12,713
Well, you and me both.
183
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,751
What about you?
184
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:18,270
Engaged. Lovely.
185
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,197
Got a venue booked for August.
186
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:21,798
We're having a Lord Of The Rings theme,
187
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,432
'cept it'll be wedding rings, obviously.
188
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,118
Hobbits for pageboys, dead cute.
189
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:28,596
Hang about, l'm remembering now.
190
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,756
l did a visit when Chantelle Harrison
191
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,075
had her third and she said to me that
192
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:37,398
your mum had turned into a lesbian
and run off with another woman.
193
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,078
Chantelle?
194
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,680
Must have been the smack talking.
195
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,871
You take care, Liam.
196
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,070
Carl kicked me.
197
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:49,712
Did he?
198
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,193
lt was an accident.
199
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,037
Nightmare. Kids, eh?
200
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:54,877
Yeah!
201
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,512
lt was good to see you, Katrina.
202
00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,630
Good luck with the wedding.
203
00:09:58,680 --> 00:09:59,954
Who's the lucky fella?
204
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,878
Joey, Joey Dawson.
205
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:07,118
Mrs Dawson. Fucking weird, eh? See ya!
206
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:12,435
l'm not kidding.
She finds out l slept with Joey, l'm dead!
207
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:13,674
Promise me these are staying on.
208
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:14,675
What are you like?
209
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:15,835
No tits! Promise me!
210
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,314
Cross me heart and hope to die.
211
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,271
DOORBELL
212
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,912
SHE WHlSTLES
213
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,075
Whoa!
214
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:27,477
Get 40 quid extra for topless.
What rhymes with estate agent?
215
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:28,669
You what?
216
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:30,915
Birthday boy's an estate agent. Sean.
217
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:36,271
You're mental, you!
How's she gonna find out?
218
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:39,392
Joey's not gonna tell her,
you're not gonna tell her.
219
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,078
lt's like it never fucking happened.
220
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:43,759
lt's Joey and his girlfriend.
221
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,552
Shit!
222
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,875
He's come for the van keys.
223
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,798
That he left here last night when he crashed out
224
00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,353
cos he'd had too many
225
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,391
before he slipped in the shower
and broke his arm.
226
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,635
She wants to know why we
haven't got one of them mats?
227
00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:59,433
We have!
228
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,948
Keys!
229
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,591
Liam had them.
230
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:09,791
They're in our house somewhere. Kitchen table.
231
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,559
Keep her talking, yeah?
232
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,670
Keys! Keys! Where could they be?
233
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,598
Veronica's had a tidy-up.
234
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,870
lt's always the way, innit?
235
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:25,629
l told shit-for-brains he were
lucky you drove him to the hospital.
236
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:28,877
He's worse than a bloody kid.
Can't let him out my sight, can l?
237
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:31,753
Can l?! You're lucky he's not
suing you for loss of business.
238
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,358
lt's not his plastering arm, is it?
239
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:44,193
ls it me, or has it turned a bit?
240
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,710
Veronica says you used to be really, really fat.
241
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,079
Ta-da!
242
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:08,831
(Katrina) Kylie had to get two buses
243
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,236
to self-defence cos you couldn't drive her.
244
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,794
She had a do on the number 1 2.
Forgot her inhaler.
245
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:17,354
She could be dead, Joey!
You didn't think of that.
246
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,630
Oh, thanks, Kev! Saved my life.
247
00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:22,592
See! l told you! Over-reaction!
248
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,592
What?!
249
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,358
You're not my dad.
250
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,671
What the fuck have l done now?
251
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:49,156
Type O blood, l've got,
so you can't be my real dad.
252
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,158
lt's scientifically impossible.
253
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,110
Of course l'm your fucking dad.
254
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:59,869
Frank Gallagher does not fire blanks, lan.
255
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,956
l can remember it clear as day.
256
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:06,118
1 987, cos they'd just stopped me
claiming for my illness.
257
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,310
Doctor said it was a fucking shaving rash.
258
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,396
How do they sleep at night?
259
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,874
Coming to terms with living with a disability,
260
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:18,552
then bang, ''l'm late again, Frank.''
Whatever you say about Monica,
261
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,670
she didn't look at another fella.
262
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:25,430
Not until she went off with, Norma. No need.
263
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,789
lt were 1 989.
264
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,432
That's what l mean.
265
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:31,755
1 9...
266
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,870
..80...
267
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:39,749
Gary Bennett.
268
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:42,998
Fucker.
269
00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:59,558
She had a Saturday job in an offie.
270
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:04,192
He were too fucking tight to give
her a discount, so no point...
271
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:09,435
She made out it gave
her a bit of independence.
272
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,152
He was the manager.
273
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,953
''Gary listens to me, Frank.''
274
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,798
We can all listen when we want
to give them one, can't we?
275
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:17,989
So it's true?
276
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,758
Falls into place, don't it?
277
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,678
Betrayal.
278
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,075
All the way down the fucking line.
279
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,837
How sharper than a serpent's tooth.
280
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:35,350
No, listen, right.
281
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:38,756
Whatever that tosspot did to your mum,
282
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:41,633
you are still my son.
283
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:44,592
You're all my kids.
284
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,515
Even a gobshite like Lip.
285
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,349
Yes!
286
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,511
Here, remembered.
287
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,516
l need a sombrero and a guitar.
288
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:09,629
For netball?
289
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,750
We're making a short film in media studies.
290
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,155
l'm a Mexican street musician.
291
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:17,272
Liam, shoes on, sweetheart.
l need to get hold of mum.
292
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,151
l just tried.
293
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,509
Answer machine says
they're away till the 22nd.
294
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:22,549
Shit.
295
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:23,589
(lan) What's up?
296
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,632
Social services want to visit.
297
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:30,434
See if Liam's being looked
after properly by mum or dad.
298
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,471
(lan) Shit!
299
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:37,395
- Why were you calling mum, anyway?
- He's trying to find his real dad.
300
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,112
What?
301
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,038
Frank's not his dad. Gary Bennett is.
302
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:44,389
Gary Bennett?
303
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,556
How long have you known about this?
304
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,277
There. lt's my best shot.
305
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:54,357
lan.
306
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,311
You're full of surprises.
307
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:57,315
Look, l just find out.
308
00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:00,272
Dad reckons it were the manager of this offie
309
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,992
where mum had a Saturday job.
310
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,235
Offie in Eccles. Yeah, l remember.
311
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,759
l were gonna tell you. Honest.
312
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,233
Do you want to find him?
313
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:08,679
Yeah.
314
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:09,948
Why?
315
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,479
We're your family.
316
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,910
ls it about the other thing?
317
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,154
No.
318
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,674
DOORBELL
319
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,234
Hiya.
320
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,555
Just come off a visit up the road.
321
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,717
Post-natal depression.
Social services been in touch yet?
322
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,319
We got a letter from them
this morning. l mean mum did.
323
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,874
l bet she's shitting herself, isn't she?
324
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,673
Just kidding. As long as she turns up sober
325
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,792
and remembers your brother's name,
we'll tick all the boxes.
326
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,718
l tell you what, you around
at dinner time for a drink?
327
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:49,273
l've got a lot on today, as it happens.
328
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,958
l could give you a few interview tips.
329
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,718
lt helps to know who you're dealing with.
330
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,637
Friends in high places.
331
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,318
l'll be there, you know.
332
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,477
And we still haven't
caught up properly, have we?
333
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:04,275
No. Yeah. Go on then. Why not?
334
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:05,958
Great, look forward to it.
335
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,958
Jockey's your local, in't it?
336
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,513
(Fiona) Can't you just tell her the truth?
337
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,996
''l told a white lie
and now it's got out of hand.''
338
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,031
Yeah, she'll understand(!)
339
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,992
l may as well tell l shagged Joey while l'm at it!
340
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,315
Can't you wait until Monica's
back from holiday?
341
00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:23,874
And say Dad's looking after
the kids while she's away?
342
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:27,230
The last thing we want is social
services talking to fucking Frank.
343
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,350
Oh, yeah, right?
MUMBLlNG
344
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,517
As far as they authorities
are concerned, Dad's dead.
345
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,279
l'm not even Liam's legal guardian.
346
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,630
What are you playing at?!
347
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,114
You've been on their nearly half-an-hour.
348
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,549
She's got a gift, Veronica.
349
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,556
She's helping me with my arthritis.
350
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:49,275
You haven't got fucking arthritis.
351
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,596
l wish she'd keep an open mind.
352
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:58,872
She even knew about Kev
losing the remote for the telly.
353
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:02,390
Bollocks she did.
She's messing with your head, Mum.
354
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:05,000
Fiona, will you get a grip?
355
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,793
So, you're not officially Liam's guardian.
356
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:11,310
You're over 21 , you're a better
fucking mum than Monica ever was.
357
00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:13,794
Go down the Jockey, see
Katrina and sort it out.
358
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:17,237
You're right.
359
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,872
You're right.
360
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,275
What's the worst that can happen?
361
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,788
l love you, Fiona.
362
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,558
Fuck's sake, Joey.
363
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,717
l mean... l mean...
364
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:30,079
You don't. You can't.
365
00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:31,394
l do.
366
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:32,998
You're engaged.
367
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:34,519
You don't even know me.
368
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,676
And we were both totally mashed.
369
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:40,315
You were. l was on pineapple juice all night.
370
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,430
Oh, shit, Joey. Please.
371
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:43,674
Please.
372
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:44,948
l love you.
373
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:49,152
Oh, listen to him.
l love you too, honey bunny.
374
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,589
So, what do you think, hey?
375
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,108
Mr and Mrs Dawson.
376
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,230
Can't believe you're still single,
Fiona. Can you, Joey?
377
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:57,269
No.
378
00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:01,598
What's this deep dark secret
you wanted to tell me, hey?
379
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,437
lt's not about Ricky Parr, is it?
380
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,869
No, nothing like that.
381
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:08,639
lt's... lt's silly really.
382
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:11,831
l didn't realise it was you
at first when you came to the house
383
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:13,950
to see our Liam.
384
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,594
lt's more automatic than anything.
385
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:19,438
Hey, secret admirer over there.
386
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:20,913
Hello.
387
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,554
You know him?
388
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,353
Well, to talk to.
389
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,119
l were just saying, she could do with a fella.
390
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:33,073
Could you? Cos last time l saw,
you weren't going short, like.
391
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:34,792
Dirty mare!
392
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,308
We trying to fix her up, if you're interested.
393
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:44,919
Sorry, mate, l didn't realise.
l was just having a laugh.
394
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,679
What...? No, he's with me, you daft pillock.
395
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:52,157
Oh, l just thought, cos youse two
were getting...
396
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,509
Oh...right.
397
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,314
lt weren't me.
398
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:07,952
ALL SCREAM
399
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,795
Just listen. l swear, it was a mistake.
400
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,308
l was hammered. l don't even fancy him.
401
00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:27,476
Oh, no, cos the sperm whale's boyfriend
402
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,432
wouldn't be good
enough for Fiona fucking Gallagher.
403
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:35,474
Fiona fucking Gallagher can
just take whatever she likes.
404
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:38,432
Little fucking Princess skinny arse.
405
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:46,878
Katrina...all that stuff...
406
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,275
We were kids, for God's sake.
407
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,072
Think that's an excuse?
408
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:52,712
Think l've fucking forgotten?
409
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,830
Sperm whale.
410
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,599
OK. l'm sorry.
411
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:01,269
But Chatsworth Comp - it was
the law of the jungle down there.
412
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:04,437
Think you were the only
one who went through it?
413
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,118
Yeah, you were fat,
414
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:08,958
and the lads used you as a spunk bucket
415
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,991
and they weren't very nice to you.
416
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,553
But you know what,
417
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,591
neither were you.
418
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,108
Pov Gallagher, remember that?
419
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,596
''That same skirt you've been
wearing sense year seven, Pov?''
420
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,393
''Can't afford to come on the school trip, Pov?''
421
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,193
''Check your change, Pov's here.''
422
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,710
Plenty of times l cried myself to sleep,
423
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:34,390
so don't you make out you were
Princess fucking Di, Katrina.
424
00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,999
Right. A bit of advice.
425
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,918
Stay away from my fiancee...
426
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:45,798
..and tell your family
427
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,718
they'd better put their best
foot forward at that interview
428
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:52,275
or l'll have your shitarse of
a brother taken into care so quick
429
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:54,675
he won't know what hit him.
430
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,312
OK?!
431
00:21:56,360 --> 00:21:58,271
Pov!
432
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:04,116
You can start saying your prayers
and all, you little twat.
433
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:05,957
Aaaaah!
434
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:19,874
Nipples.
435
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:27,676
lt must help to have big ones
when they're feeding.
436
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:36,750
Must be...
437
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,360
lt must toughen them up,
438
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,709
all that... (SUCKS)
439
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,512
Can l help you?
440
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:47,519
Yeah, l've come for the vouchers for formula.
441
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,198
The name's Gallagher.
442
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,151
Nigel and Delia.
443
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:58,355
Sorry, we've got Gallagher Philip,
Gallagher lan, Gallagher Deborah.
444
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:02,678
Oh, they'll be under their
mum's address, Eldon Way.
445
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:06,555
Fuck off!
446
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,875
l swap you that for that?
447
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,956
The difference comes out my wages.
448
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:15,232
But they're unopened.
l've got an arrangement. Ask Yvonne.
449
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:18,955
You'd better talk to her. She'll be in at tea time.
450
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,833
Oh, blood will out.
451
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:23,108
Gary Bennett.
452
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,712
You wouldn't give your mum
a fucking discount at the offi.
453
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:29,398
Mingy little twat.
454
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,192
l'll mention that when l see him.
455
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,879
lt was Eccles. Fiona told me.
456
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,992
So there's nothing to stop me finding him.
457
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,032
Fuck off to Eccles then!
458
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:43,038
Are you serious?
459
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:44,354
Are you gonna go?
460
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:45,628
Yeah.
461
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,357
There's two in the phonebook.
462
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:50,879
Debbie looked it up.
463
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,478
Go for it.
464
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,273
All that counts in the end, family.
465
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,548
Cheers.
466
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,034
You know what l meant.
467
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,834
People don't realise.
Leave it to dry, and it's good as new.
468
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,871
l haven't bought a new roll for three years.
469
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,556
l'm not a lesbian, Fiona.
470
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,591
l think everyone's got tendencies, but...
471
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:14,076
You don't need to be, cos you'll be pretending.
472
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:17,032
Playing a part, acting.
473
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:19,909
Acting?
474
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,758
You'll be you, but you'll say that
475
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:28,955
you're our mum, cos we think
of you like our mum anyway, don't we?
476
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:35,752
lt sets you thinking though, don't it?
477
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,758
Like when you imagine if
you hadn't been born and
478
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,075
someone else had met Frank.
479
00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:45,796
Nigel and Delia hadn't been born either.
480
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:49,874
l'm sorry. l'm sorry.
481
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:53,196
Oh, God. l'm sorry.
482
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:58,712
They've adjusted my Seroxin.
lt makes you ever so constipated too.
483
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:08,559
PEOPLE CHATTER
484
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,875
(Carol) lf my finger slips, you've had it.
485
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,557
Come on, you lot. We need all hands on deck.
486
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,079
(Veronica) Keep him still, Mum.
487
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,191
What's wrong?
488
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:23,639
He dared me.
489
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,990
We're lucky the house didn't go up,
rubbish he eats.
490
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:30,237
Lighting farts. Got too close to the lighter.
491
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,157
Don't be such a bloody baby!
492
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:33,758
lt's only Vaseline.
493
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:34,789
Where's Lip?
494
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:41,638
Anyone got munchies?
495
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,194
Good night, was it?
496
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,356
You knew lan was working.
497
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:47,879
Carol said she'd look in.
498
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,629
She did come really quickly when we shouted.
499
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,079
What's up with him?
500
00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:59,509
Come on, sweetheart. lt's past your bedtime.
501
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,394
DOOR SLAMS
502
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:11,395
Where the fuck's Sheila?
503
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:15,069
You're not at Sheila's, Dad.
504
00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:17,031
Dad, bathroom!
505
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:18,798
Don't fucking touch me.
506
00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:22,271
Eccles.
507
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,356
You told him, didn't you?
508
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,550
You in on it and all?
509
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:27,237
Whatever.
510
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:31,273
Yeah, whatever. You're all the fucking same
like your fucking mother.
511
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,278
- Don't touch...
- Aagh!
512
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,754
Piss yourself then!
513
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,472
Fucking piss yourself!
514
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,397
What's he done?
515
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,796
Get him out of here, or l swear
l'll fucking kill him! Wanker!
516
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:50,713
Bastard.
517
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:52,557
(Fiona) Did he piss himself?
518
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:56,912
(Lip) No. Got him to the bog in time.
519
00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:01,112
Frank Gallagher's proudest achievement -
he got to the bog in time.
520
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:02,878
Puked on the carpet though.
521
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:12,073
You really don't want lan to find him,
do you? Gary what's-his-face.
522
00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:16,079
Up to him. Just don't see the point.
523
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,116
Bit jealous.
524
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,628
Little bastard gets a shot at a real dad,
525
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:28,468
instead of some incontinent
fucking sperm donor.
526
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:35,278
Thing about Dad, you're fine as long
as you remember to expect fuck all.
527
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:40,633
Only useful thing he's ever said to me,
not at me, my whole fucking life,
528
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,478
when l was little,
529
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:45,715
l was making breakfast.
530
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:49,912
Dad chucked his slice of toast
into the bin, ''Fucking useless that.''
531
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,793
Then he showed me,
532
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:57,675
''Always spread the marge into the
corners, right up to the crust.
533
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:02,032
''Do the corners and you don't
have to worry about the middle.''
534
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,833
lt's true, as it happens.
535
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:06,359
Useless fucker.
536
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:21,990
Right. Social services are due at 1 1 .
537
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,918
Sheila's coming round at half ten.
Start with the bedrooms, Carl.
538
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:27,349
Debbie, bathroom.
539
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,960
Carol, you still OK looking after Liam, yeah?
540
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,879
- What do you want me for, Fiona?
- Oh, yeah. Marty.
541
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,797
Give me hand with a bit of lifting.
542
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:40,509
Cockhead.
543
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:43,875
Marty, slow down.
544
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:56,071
Where's Sheila?
545
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:00,593
Hiya.
546
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:02,551
You brought the twins.
547
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,353
l've been dying to air these outfits.
548
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:06,879
Sorry l'm late.
549
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:10,515
Only l thought it'd help to look
a bit more like you-know-who.
550
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,028
lt's a bit difficult with my
wardrobe so l had to borrow from
551
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,878
across the road, but she's
on the game, so she's difficult
552
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:17,433
to wake before dinner time.
553
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,916
ls it too late to do
something about the curtains?
554
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:57,393
Hiya.
555
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,079
She thinks you're planning a break-in.
556
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:03,198
What are you doing here?
557
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:04,992
Moral support, whatever that means.
558
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,793
Debbie passed on the details.
559
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:09,637
Are you going in?
560
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,353
Might not even be there.
561
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:14,197
Probably get his wife.
562
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:18,392
l didn't think about his wife.
What if she's got kids?
563
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:20,635
l might have half-brothers or sisters.
564
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:21,795
Find out.
565
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:23,831
Go on.
566
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,394
Fuck it, if you're not gonna...
567
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:27,111
Lip.
568
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,275
PlANO MUSlC PLAYS
569
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,276
Sorry, lads. We've got tea
towels coming out of our ears.
570
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:47,799
No.
571
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:50,919
l'm...
572
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,351
Mrs Gallagher?
573
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,070
Monica Gallagher?
574
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:09,758
l'm Maureen Hale from social services.
575
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,030
That's right. Come in.
576
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,355
Thank you.
577
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:19,673
Katrina.
578
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,913
We've got your form,
Mrs Gallagher, thanks for that.
579
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:32,589
Liam's doing well, in your opinion?
580
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:36,519
Oh, yes, he is. lsn't he, Fiona?
581
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:37,788
No problems at all.
582
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:42,755
There we are, take the pot to the
kettle, never the kettle to the pot.
583
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,870
Oh! No teaspoons.
584
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:49,996
On my first visit, l saw some bruising
585
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:51,678
where Liam had been hit by one of his brothers.
586
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,917
Can you tell us how this
happened, Mrs Gallagher?
587
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:01,351
lt was Lip that moved.
588
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,039
As l said to your colleague,
it was an accident.
589
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:08,672
Kettle. Kettle. Teaspoons. Teaspoons. >
590
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:13,996
Hey, love.
591
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,315
Would you get me a teaspoon, please?
592
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,513
Shall we have a look around?
593
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,632
l think we've seen everything
we need, Mrs Gallagher.
594
00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:43,875
Thanks for that.
595
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,674
You're a very lucky boy,
Liam, having such a nice room.
596
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:49,438
l've got a few questions
about the living arrangements.
597
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,711
There seems to be
confusion about who lives where.
598
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:57,390
lt's easy. l live next door
with my tenants, Carol and Marty.
599
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,590
And everyone else lives here.
600
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:01,119
(Sheila) The more the merrier.
601
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,469
l take my hat off to you, Monica.
602
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,318
These two looking bonny on it.
603
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,112
Do you get your formula at the clinic?
604
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:09,559
Every week.
605
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:13,195
When l checked our records,
the twins are at a different address.
606
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:15,037
22 Eldon Way.
607
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,469
And according to the clinic,
they live there with their mother,
608
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:21,354
Sheila Jackson. The twins are yours?
609
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:22,958
Of course they are.
610
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,275
So you must be Sheila Jackson?
611
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:29,836
No, no. l'm Monica. Monica Gallagher.
612
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:33,589
Monica Gallagher's living in Moston
with another woman and she abandoned
613
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,677
her kids four years ago. lsn't that right?
614
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:39,154
She's no better than she should be.
615
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:41,316
l mean, l'm not.
616
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,749
l'm only human.
617
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,758
She's Sheila Jackson living at Eldon Way.
618
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:48,756
The twins are hers by
Frank Gallagher who died
619
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,030
just before they were born.
lt's all on the computer.
620
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:55,949
Dad's dead, mum's gone,
these kids are home alone.
621
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,036
l've applied for an
emergency care order for Liam.
622
00:33:58,080 --> 00:33:59,479
You fucking cow!
623
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,830
Home alone? Who's home alone?
624
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,868
Frank Gallagher.
625
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,036
What can l do for you, ladies?
626
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,675
Am l tit-of-the-year or what?
627
00:34:15,720 --> 00:34:17,597
l knew it were too good to be true.
628
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:19,358
You've still got one more left.
629
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:23,398
The Cedars.
630
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:26,113
Sounds even cushier.
631
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:27,798
Did you see his music?
632
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:31,116
Wall-to-wall fucking jazz.
633
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:33,515
You're well out of it!
634
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:49,030
Christ. Dad finds out about this,
he'll wanna fuck him himself.
635
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:50,559
Him?
636
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,870
lf he owes you money,
get to the back of the queue.
637
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,195
Oi, Gary. More people after you. >
638
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,600
lan.
639
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:19,709
Daddy!
640
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:22,834
Fuck off.
641
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,030
Daddy!
642
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,475
Fuck off, mate!
643
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:31,269
What? What?
644
00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:33,199
Who are you?
645
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:38,436
Difference between Gary and Frank - zilch!
646
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,230
Human error, see.
647
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,909
Ghost in the machine.
648
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:51,598
Literally.
649
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,712
Reports of my death have
been greatly exaggerated.
650
00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:01,391
Computers, you see, Maureen.
Only as good as the person putting stuff in.
651
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:04,876
Garbage in, garbage out.
652
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:09,436
Data in a computer literally
means what's put in it.
653
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:13,598
Data, right? Not information.
654
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:16,871
So you're not living at Eldon Way?
655
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:23,989
Not to my knowledge, love.
656
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:25,792
And she's Mrs Gallagher, is she?
657
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:33,718
l am proud to say, yeah.
last time l looked, anyway.
658
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,876
l really think that's everything...
659
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:38,753
lf you're happy with the explanation
of why Liam's so accident-prone.
660
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,279
Oh, look at him.
661
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:44,393
Liam, come here, son.
662
00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:47,318
Look at that. He's got more
injuries than Michael Owen.
663
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,078
He broke his wrist last year.
664
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:51,270
He fell off his scooter, yeah.
665
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,278
(Maureen) What are you getting at, Katrina?
666
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:57,596
lt's obvious. She's his care giver
and she's not up to it.
667
00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:01,110
Hang on, what are you saying, love?
668
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,469
She looks after him, doesn't she?
669
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,988
Too fucking right she does.
670
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:11,713
And makes a cracking job of it.
671
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:13,830
Her mum fucked off.
672
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:16,075
That's a crime, is it?
673
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:19,999
Trying to give your brothers and
sisters the right start in life.
674
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:21,632
Paperwork, is that what you want?
675
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,477
Cos, it's all here,
676
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,239
in black-and-white.
All his jabs, right up to date.
677
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,635
Hospital appointments for his...whatsit.
678
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:30,272
Fitting.
679
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:31,673
All kept. Physio for his leg.
680
00:37:31,720 --> 00:37:33,278
Wrist.
681
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:34,753
All kept. She misses work for him.
682
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,472
Never complains.
683
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:40,229
You talk to his nursery.
A few problems, but he's three...
684
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:41,679
Four.
685
00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:43,278
(Frank) ..years old.
686
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:44,958
Bright as a button.
687
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,514
He's got friends, hasn't he?
688
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,835
His teachers will tell you.
689
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:52,314
And l'll tell you what.
690
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:54,828
You can't write it down in a book
691
00:37:54,880 --> 00:38:00,079
or sign a form for it or get a fucking voucher.
692
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:03,476
But, he's loved.
693
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,389
Loved.
694
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:12,830
By that lass over there.
695
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:20,759
So put that in Tony Blair's pipe and
fucking smoke it. l mean, fuck off.
696
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:23,268
lf that's a kiddie that being abused,
l'm Miriam Stoppard.
697
00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:26,790
There's no question of abuse, Mr Gallagher.
698
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,319
l can see Liam's been well looked after.
699
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:32,478
He's just admitted he lives
with her and she's in charge.
700
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:34,238
And l don't see a problem.
701
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:39,354
l'll tell you the problem.
l shagged her boyfriend.
702
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:43,029
You shagged him?
l thought you fucking snogged him.
703
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,310
lt was a mistake.
704
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,157
Oh, yeah? A mistake.
705
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:50,749
You just think,
''Here's the man Katrina's gonna marry.
706
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:53,951
''l know, why don't l wreck her fucking life?''
707
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,833
She made my life a misery at school.
708
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,713
We were 1 4. Everyone's life was a misery.
709
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,910
You pissed on my PE kit!
710
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:12,551
Sorry for the inconvenience,
Mr and Mrs Gallagher. Personnel.
711
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,158
The odd one slips through the net.
712
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:15,952
Human error again, Maureen.
713
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:20,391
Hey, remember. Data, not information.
714
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:21,839
(Sheila) Bye.
715
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:22,869
Bye.
716
00:39:30,240 --> 00:39:34,279
Wedding's still on, you know!
23rd August, so l don't wanna see or hear...
717
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:41,828
Did you really piss on her PE kit?
718
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,678
No, that was Alison Grant.
719
00:39:44,720 --> 00:39:46,312
l just held the bag open.
720
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:50,390
(Sheila) And she said... And she said...
721
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:54,274
She said... Sorry. She said,
722
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:58,313
''l'm sorry for the inconvenience,
Mr and Mrs Gallagher.''
723
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:00,874
Didn't she, Frank?
724
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,070
Too fucking right she did.
725
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:06,795
You played a fucking blinder, Frank.
726
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:09,832
lt's natural, isn't it? A father's instinct
727
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:13,190
to defend his offspring. Like lions. Come here.
728
00:40:13,240 --> 00:40:16,391
Actually, male lions kill theirs.
729
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:18,670
l've seen it in a documentary.
730
00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:20,438
New fucking man, me, Debbie.
731
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:24,792
Frank, l'm proud to call her Mrs Gallagher.
732
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:28,594
He came straight out with it. He did.
733
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,631
Do you like the sound of the that, Sheil?
734
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:33,717
Hey, hey. Stop fucking stirring it.
735
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,638
KNOCK ON DOOR
736
00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:42,316
Sperm and egg,
split second, accident of nature.
737
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:46,558
The nurture, that's being a fucking parent.
738
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:47,999
Forget about it, will you?
739
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:49,553
You've got to tell her.
740
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:51,431
Tell Katrina we didn't shag.
741
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:52,708
She already knows we did.
742
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:53,192
But we didn't.
743
00:40:53,240 --> 00:40:57,028
Joey... Didn't we?
744
00:40:57,080 --> 00:41:00,072
You were totally out of it,
weren't you? lt wouldn't have been...
745
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:01,075
So we didn't?
746
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:02,439
No.
747
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:07,710
Fiona!
748
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:10,479
You will tell her, won't you?
749
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,751
My dad's got £80 deposit
down on a Gandalf costume.
750
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:15,392
FRANK SNORES
l was lost
751
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:17,590
Oh, yeah
752
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:21,353
Oh, yeah...
753
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:32,356
Lads, you're gonna have
to give your dad a hand.
754
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,914
He's worn out.
755
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:36,916
Oh!
756
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:38,712
Come on.
757
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:44,756
lan!
758
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:46,791
Come on, l can't shift him on my own.
759
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:48,592
He's not my dad, is he?
760
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:56,669
Stop fucking around, will you?
You can't just fucking resign.
761
00:41:56,720 --> 00:41:58,199
Come on.
762
00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:01,672
(Fiona) Problem?
763
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:07,591
No.
764
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,359
Just taking Dad back to Sheila's.
765
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,839
(lan) 'Fiona reckoned it was a first.
766
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:22,111
'Dad and Sheila actually helping us
out for once instead of landing us
767
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:24,151
'in the shit.
768
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,954
'Not that she'd have wanted them
round at ours all the time.
769
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:29,638
'None of us would.
770
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:33,195
'You just get used to things the way they are.
771
00:42:33,240 --> 00:42:37,995
'And at the end of the day,
it's better the devil you know.
772
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:40,634
'Early Kylie? Totally true.'
773
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:45,313
l'm carrying his baby.
774
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:46,475
Fiona!
775
00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:49,551
(Man) Had an accident?
776
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,113
Boo!
777
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,594
Oh, Jesus! Where's my tooth?
778
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:57,428
Remember, Frank, no-win,
no-fee, and we will win.
779
00:42:57,480 --> 00:43:02,270
lf you wanna keep it, you don't
have to bring it up alone. City!
780
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:02,957
Oi! >
781
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:06,517
You bastard!
782
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:09,916
Shops had to close down because
of him and you don't give a fuck.
783
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:12,076
l've booked the abortion.
784
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,395
Blood. l've been shot!
785
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:18,318
My God, Frank. What have you done?
786
00:43:18,368 --> 00:43:22,918
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