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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:04,790 'Now nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate is the garden of Eden 2 00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:08,628 'but it's been a good home to us - me, Frank Gallagher, 3 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,717 'and me kids who l'm proud of, 4 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:15,673 'cos every single one of them reminds me a little of me. 5 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:19,030 'They can all think for themselves, which they've me to thank for.' 6 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:21,389 - Run! Run for it! - Leg it! 7 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,238 'Fiona, who's a massive help, 8 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:29,274 'Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody calls him Philip now, 9 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,992 'Ian, a lot like his mam, 10 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,998 'which is handy for the others cos she's disappeared into thin air, 11 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,474 'and Carl - we daren't let him grow his hair 12 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:40,069 'cos it stands on end and makes him look like Toyah and nits love it. 13 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,749 'Debbie - sent by God. Total angel. 14 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:47,918 'You've to check your change but she'll go miles out of her way to do you a favour. 15 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:54,115 'Plus Liam - gonna be a star once we've got the fits under control. 16 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:59,917 'Sheila, me bird. Couldn't be happier... One plate short of a full set, like. 17 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:04,795 'Fantastic neighbours Kev and Veronica. Lend you anything. Well, not anything. 18 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:08,674 'But all of them to a man know, first and foremost, 19 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,678 'one of the most vital necessities in this life 20 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:15,633 'is they know how to throw a party! 21 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,159 'Scatter!' 22 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:21,352 (Commentator) 'Joining Cheryl and Bernadette on the science scholarship to America 23 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,709 'is a lucky man from Manchester. 24 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:26,558 'The first ever to achieve unanimous acclaim from the judging panel. 25 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,876 'Ladies and gentlemen, Philip Gallagher.' 26 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:34,233 Are you bothered about this, or what? 27 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,679 Sorry, I was miles away. 28 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:40,669 (Lip) 'Do you ever get that sinking feeling when something good happens? 29 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:43,280 'One bit wants to believe your luck's really changed. 30 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:49,190 'Another bit keeps saying it's all going to go to tits up any minute.' 31 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:56,559 (Woman) You don't need window locks round here, you need a shotgun. 32 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,909 Prevention is much more effective than cure. 33 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:02,509 Stick your name down. l'll send round the crime prevention officer, 34 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,471 and you can get them fitted for free. 35 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:05,316 For free? 36 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:08,193 Yep. Oi, you can't just take 'em. 37 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,117 He's just told me they were free. 38 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:13,311 You need a home visit first... These are just for display. 39 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:14,315 Hold the fort. 40 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:17,318 Fiona? Fiona? 41 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:22,832 Look, l'm sorry about, you know, Steve. 42 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,997 Do you fancy driving out somewhere for a drink? The Black Swan maybe? 43 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,519 lt might cheer you up. 44 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:30,793 l'll call you later, yeah? 45 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,519 - Going to let 'em get away with that? - Oi! 46 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,871 Oi! 47 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,149 Come back here now. 48 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,635 Come on! Quick! 49 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,592 (Lip) 'Winning a science scholarship in a school 50 00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,551 'blacklisted from the league tables wasn't easy. 51 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,955 'But l did. So fuck 'em. 52 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,673 'Snag is, l had to cover my own expenses. 53 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:06,235 'l'm working round the clock doing other people's homework for cash, 54 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,555 'which isn't hard, except for...' 55 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,512 Fuck's sake, l'm trying to do some work. 56 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:15,439 So, it's not our problem. You should stick to doing your own homework. 57 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,835 l'm only doing everybody else's cos l need the money. 58 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:19,757 Get a proper job like me, if you need the money. 59 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,518 Not if l have to shag the boss up the arse. 60 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,518 That's enough, everybody stop. 61 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,236 Ohhh! l'm off to Sheila's. 62 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,434 Go on. Go on. Go on. Go on. 63 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,471 lt's ready in a minute, babies. 64 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:37,717 He's done it! He's done it! 65 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,672 Daddy's a winner. Hey-hey! 66 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,077 - What! - My pink slip. 67 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,634 Accumulator. lt's cost a few bob. 68 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,910 l thought you lot were meant to be going out. 69 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:49,949 Sorry, love. 70 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,514 Frank, if you've got time, will you pop into Lena's? 71 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,552 l promised to mind her house while she's on holiday. 72 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:59,957 Sorry, love, l have to go and see Gerry at the Jockey about a job. 73 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,639 - lt's all right, Lip will do it. - Good luck! 74 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:06,468 Lip, do us a favour, nip round to my friend's and watch her fish 75 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:10,433 while she's away? Key's on the dresser. 76 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:28,269 Forget something? 77 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,671 Shampoo. l left my purse at home. 78 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,915 Shampoo? 79 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,030 Come on, Debs! 80 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:43,073 You're nicking from Kash? Thought the daft Paki wouldn't notice? 81 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:46,271 l wasn't nicking, just borrowing. l bring them back the next day. 82 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:47,833 lt's not a public library! 83 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,474 You shouldn't be watching this stuff anyway. 84 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:53,034 l don't watch them, l only copy them. 85 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:04,235 lf you get caught, it's nothing to do with me! 86 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:12,639 Got anything with vampires in it? Or zombies, or kung-fu? 87 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,159 Debbie's in her room, go on up. 88 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,677 My mum was fuming. 89 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,951 She was watching Blade, and Wesley had his shirt off. 90 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:27,676 Next minute it went all fuzzy, and Basil fuckin' Brush came on. 91 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:30,558 What does she want instead? 92 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,751 Horror, kung-fu, or she wants her money back. 93 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:41,389 Take your pick. Have an extra one for three nights for half price. 94 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,434 Check it out properly. 95 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:47,516 lt's coming out of your money. 96 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,958 (Debbie) Carl, where's that new one? We've got tons of new releases. 97 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,479 Have a good rummage. 98 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:03,276 (Lip) Fiona. Can l come in? 99 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:06,232 Are you OK? 100 00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:07,759 Anything l can get you? 101 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,713 Cigs? 102 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,239 Booze? 103 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,953 Red Cross parcel? 104 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,480 (Debbie) Carl, have you checked Lucy's mum's tape yet? 105 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,793 'l'm getting wet just thinking about it. 106 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,635 'l hope you're ready to perform for me.' 107 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:43,036 (Man as Elvis) 'Uh-huh, baby. Are you ready for the King?' 108 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,197 'Come and enter my Heartbreak Hotel, baby.' 109 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:49,915 (Man) 'l want to introduce you to a friend of mine, darling, from Mississippi. 110 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,428 'Be tender, don't be cruel, that's my job.' 111 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:53,595 What? 112 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:58,191 'Fuck me every which way, you old hound dog. 113 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:06,074 (Man) 'That feels good. Hallelujah, Hallelujah. Ow, ow, ow.' 114 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,598 What film's this? 115 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,710 lt's meant to be Lucy's. 116 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:17,918 That's Lucy's mum. 117 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:20,629 The lollipop lady? 118 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:38,198 Watching your own mum and dad? Sick. 119 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,276 (Debbie) That's not her dad. 120 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,754 He's in prison. 121 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,360 Do us ten copies, see if you can shift a few. 122 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,197 (Woman) 'l'm caught in a trap, baby.' 123 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,277 Make it a dozen. 124 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,673 Sorry, love. Forgot you were here. 125 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:02,358 l left one of me books. 126 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,994 Try under your dad. He didn't get that job. 127 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,235 lt's really knocked his confidence. 128 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,389 Coming, coming. 129 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,431 Just remembered where l left it. 130 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,153 - See ya! - Bye! 131 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,948 DRlPPlNG WATER 132 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:33,548 Hi. l've got some new films. You two will love it. Hot stuff. 133 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:34,828 See you later. 134 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:41,917 Billy, come on, l've got some new videos for you. 135 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,997 Yeah, what do you want? 136 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,713 lt contains material of an adult nature. 137 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:55,828 Hiya, are you all right? 138 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:01,988 All right. 139 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,600 Hiya, Debbie. All right? 140 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:07,958 lt's a cracker. 141 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,513 See you later, enjoy. 142 00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:11,073 See ya! 143 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:18,557 Debbie, what are you doing? 144 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,432 Debbie, does Fiona know where you are? 145 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,708 Are your minds open to the truth? 146 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,950 Good. l've been trying all week to tell people 147 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,436 that the Lord is the only truth we need. 148 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:37,913 Have you got a few minutes? 149 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:41,191 Sorry, Debbie, crime doesn't stand still for anyone, you know? 150 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:02,798 (l locked it...) 151 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,392 Hello, hello. 152 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:37,829 What are you doing in my house? 153 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,519 Out, or you're getting this. 154 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,834 No, no, no... 155 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,678 l've called the police, they're on their way. 156 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,551 Two minutes, they'll be here in two minutes. 157 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,238 Just wanted somewhere quiet to work. 158 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,516 - Just fuck off! - This wasn't me. 159 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:53,074 Nowhere to hide, scuzz. Put it down. 160 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,758 Look, it's nothing to do with... 161 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,757 Bottle, down. 162 00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:01,634 This wasn't me. Look, you've got it wrong. 163 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:04,274 Arghh! Oh! 164 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:05,749 Fat bastard! 165 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:06,755 Oh! 166 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:13,633 That is assault. 167 00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:14,749 Piss off. 168 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:18,031 This is resisting arrest. 169 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:19,399 Arghhh! 170 00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:26,437 Unit two to control, we've made an arrest. > 171 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:31,798 Oi, keep it down! 172 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:35,389 Shut it, you bastards! 173 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:40,514 lf nobody answers after 50 knocks, it tells me they're not fuckin' in! 174 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:52,558 - For fuck's sake, Tony! - Do you know where Fiona is? 175 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:57,116 Gone out, probably to avoid stalkers like you. Give her a break. 176 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,919 Home-grown? Who's in it? 177 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:07,748 Molly Connor with some guy with a taste for dressing up. 178 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,756 Molly Connor? Remind me. 179 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:16,114 You know, ''Mind your backs, children passing?'' The lollipop lady. 180 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,276 Oh. But isn't her old man... 181 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:20,709 Yeah, five years for GBH. 182 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,876 Shaz reckons it's not him. 183 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:24,717 She's running a sweepstake. 184 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:28,389 First to name the boyfriend gets a hamper and a trip to the brewery. 185 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:33,798 l'd hate to be the fella when the hubby finds out. Funny as fuck though! 186 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,957 - Treat yourself, Frank, come on. - Sorted! 187 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,399 Have you seen Fiona? 188 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:40,670 - No. - Shit! 189 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,160 You, you're coming to the nick with me. 190 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:46,713 lf it's about them tax discs... 191 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,558 Lip's been arrested. He needs a guardian. 192 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,477 He won't want me, he'll want Fiona. 193 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:52,953 Nicked for what? 194 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,389 l can't, l've got a job interview... 195 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,432 Course you have, Frank! You're either coming willingly or... 196 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,991 All right. Hang on. 197 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,760 Your son is charged with aggravated burglary... 198 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,756 Take the fifth. No comment. 199 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,109 ..and with resisting arrest. 200 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:16,835 He's saying nothing till he sees a lawyer. 201 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:20,077 Mr Puffin is your son's lawyer. 202 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,953 Him?! Fuck me! 203 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,479 All right. 204 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:29,469 The most serious charge facing your son is that of assaulting a police officer. 205 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,351 Say nothing. Schtum. 206 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,950 Jesus wept! 207 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,798 You said you only whacked him once. What with, a mallet? 208 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:43,037 l didn't do that. l can't have. 209 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:46,273 (Police officer) You sure about this, Neary? 210 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,550 Go on, it make it count. 211 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,955 Ow! 212 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:56,835 So, you told your father that you struck this officer. 213 00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:01,317 Yeah, but in self-defence. Look at the size of the cunt. 214 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,237 - Shut up! - Eh? 215 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,549 Charge him - theft, assault and resisting arrest. 216 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:24,756 Whatever little bleeding problem it is l'm not dealing with it, right? 217 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,234 l went out for a drink, l'm knackered and l'm going to bed. 218 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,279 What you lookin' at? 219 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,231 Call this justice? 220 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:50,875 You wouldn't know justice, if it bit your tits! l'll see you in court. 221 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:55,152 Hey, Fiona. l've done my best, but they've stitched us. 222 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,760 They're keeping him in. What's that about? 223 00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,314 You didn't let him say anything, did you? 224 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:01,554 Just a little bit. 225 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,591 Couldn't you wait, you useless git? 226 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,596 Even you should know that. 227 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:10,839 Oh, great. l rushed down here to help out, for the good of my eldest son, 228 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:16,000 my first-born, and where the fuck were you? 229 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:19,032 l couldn't find you. l had to settle for this joker. 230 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,593 Oh, fucking charming! 231 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,200 Where do l sign for expenses, loss of income and all that? 232 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:24,275 What l see as a priority... 233 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:25,389 You're fired! Fuck off! 234 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,112 Have a bath! 235 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,834 Who's good, any ideas? 236 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:35,190 Billy Thomson got us off that hit and run during a driving lesson. 237 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:39,756 That's because the instructor had a breakdown before he got to court. 238 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,153 lronic or what? 239 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:43,316 Our family use Old Man Jacks. 240 00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:45,874 Yeah, and how many of them are behind bars? 241 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:49,435 Who's the Yorkshire one who's never lost a case? 242 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:54,428 Um, you know, did the triple murder in the barn. 243 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,789 Proved it was the priest and not the husband. 244 00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:00,196 Erm... Oh... Erm... 245 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:05,678 lt's Kavanagh, Kavanagh QC! l've forgotten the mini rolls. 246 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,234 What kind of legal secretary would l make? 247 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,398 Lip didn't burgle that house. 248 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,591 He twatted a cop and said so on tape, or rather you did. 249 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:17,712 - lf anybody else blames me, l'm off. - Dick! 250 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,513 (lan) Somebody must know something. 251 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:23,313 (Marty) Let's start asking round. (Kev) Starting with who? 252 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,351 l don't know, but if we kick enough of them, 253 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,311 someone's going to say something. KlLL! 254 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:29,874 What's it like in prison? 255 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:33,674 Third time's not so bad. The first scared me shitless. 256 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,915 Everyone's after your arse. 257 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:39,111 Food, fags, stamps, mainly your arse. 258 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:47,915 Petrocelli, l used to fancy him rotten. Lived in a trailer. 259 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:54,157 (Prisoner) Oi! Get me out of here! 260 00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:02,318 Oi! ls there anybody there? 261 00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:03,952 Hey, you! 262 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,191 SOBBlNG 263 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:13,109 - Talk. - What about? 264 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,913 Don't fuck about, Carl! l want to know what you know. 265 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,279 Nothing. 266 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,436 Help yourself here, Carl. 267 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:22,870 You knew the keys to that house were at Sheila's, didn't you? 268 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:27,948 No. Well, yeah. l took them, but l didn't mean to...l swear. 269 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,231 Don't tell Lip, please... 270 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,555 Go on, talk. 271 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:37,878 Me and Trogs went round to watch a video for a laugh. 272 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:39,353 Vince turned up with his mates. 273 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,073 All right? 274 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:45,476 l told him to leave stuff alone and they just took everything. 275 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:49,069 (Vince) Get the microwave. Smash it! 276 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:52,396 Get the video! Grab it, go on! 277 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:55,557 Look for some money! 278 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,831 Me and Trogs legged it to take the keys back. 279 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,552 We didn't know Lip went back to get them. 280 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,192 You won't tell the others, will you? 281 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,196 Go and get it all back. 282 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,195 They'll kill me. 283 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,595 This is all your fault. What you gonna do about it? 284 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,835 l don't know. What do we do? 285 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,394 We?! There's no fucking we! 286 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,749 l'm not going round there. 287 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,791 l am. 288 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:20,435 He needs sorting. We need to talk. 289 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:21,879 lt wasn't me. 290 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:23,069 Yeah(!) Get in. 291 00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:25,236 (Man) l've been waiting for hours. 292 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:30,354 l've got to get home to see me wife and take the dog out for a piss. 293 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:34,916 Do you hear me? Come on. Never mind ignoring me. 294 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:41,513 Mr Gallagher, you'll receive a letter advising you of the court dates. 295 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:43,869 Check your possessions, sign there. 296 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:50,199 Fiona, these are all lawyers that the custody officers think are twats, 297 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:51,673 meaning they're fine. 298 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,234 Did you speak to Neary? 299 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,669 Well? 300 00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:01,396 Kiss my big hairy swingers, you fucking loser! 301 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,273 Thanks for trying, Tony. 302 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:05,912 Thanks for bringing him home. 303 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,072 Oi. 304 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:15,997 Pull your finger out. 305 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,678 What's it to you? You're not even family. 306 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,995 Fiona deserves better than this. 307 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,678 lf it's down to me to sort it, l'll sort it. 308 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:26,157 You think she'd look twice at you, you fucking psycho. 309 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:30,678 Psycho. 310 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,558 ls Debbie in? 311 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,831 Sorry, Lucy, she's gone already. Can l give her a message? 312 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,757 Can you tell her l gave her the wrong tape? 313 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,952 - My mum went spare - it's her wedding video. - l'll pass it on, don't you worry. 314 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,037 Well, can't l leave you alone for one minute? 315 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,789 lt's a few tapes for some friends. They can't afford brand-new. 316 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:57,550 l do some for old people, too. They can't get out much and a cripple. 317 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,754 lt's as close as he can remember to what they took. 318 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,075 Memorise it. This is what you're looking for, OK? 319 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:11,998 The place will be full of knock-off. FUCK OFF! 320 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,031 We only want what's on the list. 321 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,470 lf she gets her stuff back, she might change her mind and drop the charges. 322 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,272 Marty, are you sure you've done this before? 323 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,038 Of course. 324 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:23,873 Right. Who lives here? 325 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,035 Chugs. 326 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:28,355 - But who'll be sleeping there? - His brother Vince. 327 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:32,109 Vince's mate, Tel. 328 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:37,037 And maybe Vince's bird, Shaz. 329 00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:38,588 God! 330 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,359 She's fucking evil. lf she wakes up, leg it. 331 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,072 (Carl) What if someone does come? 332 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:44,838 You keep a lookout, l'll do the rest. 333 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:47,269 Any trouble, we'll torch the place. 334 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:49,754 No-one's going to torch anything. You promised. 335 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,279 Give me your matches, Marty. 336 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,750 l don't want to go. Please! 337 00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,360 He's gonna be no use to anybody. 338 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,072 He comes or who learns lessons from this? 339 00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:03,759 How's he going to live with himself, if he just bottles out? 340 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,279 You've got eyes, haven't you? 341 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,229 lt's his fault anyway. 342 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,395 (Marty) (Wake up, Carl, time to go.) 343 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,872 Carl! Hang on to him! 344 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,957 l know what'll wake him. 345 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,115 Wide awake club! 346 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:28,957 - What are you giving him? - Speed. 347 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,673 - Marty! - Wakey, wakey! 348 00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:34,188 Well, he's slow at the best of times. 349 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,276 They're safe enough. Come on. 350 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:41,550 THUNDER CRASHES 351 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,795 Wake up! 352 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:52,951 Where the fuck is he? 353 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,436 Getaway car's sorted. 354 00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,959 Now we're talking. Good thinking, Marty. 355 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:02,715 Right. 356 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,513 One elephant, two elephant, three elephant. 357 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,873 (Marty) Fucker spunk! Ninja assassin! 358 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,037 (Hurry up.) 359 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,029 Quiet! 360 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,355 (Here! Take it.) 361 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:28,879 Get us some more stuff. 362 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,834 (Marty) Arsehole! 363 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:37,235 l've got some fishing rods, put them in. 364 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,238 None of this stuff's on the list. 365 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,032 Where's the woman's stuff? 366 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,237 (Marty) Ski boots. On the piste! 367 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:48,872 Argh! 368 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,115 (Woman) Who's there? 369 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,149 Go, go! 370 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,270 (Woman) ls there anybody there? 371 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,311 Faster! 372 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,072 Whoo-hoo! 373 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,115 Marty, watch the bastard cars! 374 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,836 You've got all the wrong stuff. You're absolutely fucking useless! 375 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:18,599 You didn't get a thing on the list. You just panicked. 376 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:22,269 What was that great big robbery you said you'd been on? 377 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:25,232 Fucking Oxfam shop? 378 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:28,556 Fiona's gonna go spare. 379 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,079 Fiona! 380 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,196 Hiya, Carl, you're up early. 381 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:39,912 Didn't go to bed. Got to level seven. 382 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:43,316 Zombies. Killed loads. AK-47. Ran out of health in the graveyard. 383 00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:46,477 Still got second highest score, though. See you. 384 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,353 Hey, you don't have to go to school, you know. 385 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,436 Stay home if you need some time to yourself. 386 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,471 l'll have plenty of time to myself soon. 387 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,273 lf you talk like that, you're going to wreck what time you have. 388 00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,471 Yeah, sure. Five days. 389 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:02,956 This just came. The first hearing's next Monday. 390 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,593 They'll keep me in, Fiona. You know they will. 391 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,517 lt's not been our month, has it? 392 00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:13,715 We're gonna get you out of this mess. 393 00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:15,955 Hey, when have l ever let you down? 394 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,833 Liam, what are you doing with that fishing rod? 395 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:28,352 Mum, l've got fish. 396 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:29,515 Fish! 397 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:37,116 Have you got a fishing licence for this bedroom? 398 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,311 What's up? 399 00:26:41,360 --> 00:26:46,798 You'd all be better off, if l was back in prison instead of Lip. 400 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,035 Don't say that, Marty. 401 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:52,311 We're all doing our best to keep him out. 402 00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:55,591 What's with all the junk? 403 00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,710 l did it for you... 404 00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,557 and Lip. 405 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:00,828 For me? Did what? 406 00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:05,112 This. l tried to nick the nurse's stuff back, but it all went a bit tits up. 407 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:06,149 We? Who's we? 408 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,156 Me, lan and Carl. We did our best... 409 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,397 You did what? You took lan and Carl on a burglary? 410 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,876 And then you've got the nerve to say you did it for me. Are you mad? 411 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:15,989 Just listen, will ya? 412 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:19,032 You're right, you'd be better off in prison. Where you belong! 413 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,719 - Just give us a chance! - This better be good. 414 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:23,478 We thought if we could get the stuff back, 415 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,078 - she might drop the charges. - And? 416 00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:28,032 lt wasn't there. They must have stashed it somewhere else. 417 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:29,593 So we just took what we could find. 418 00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:31,596 Anyway, it was lan's idea. 419 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:34,791 Don't look at me. He took the key from Sheila's. 420 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,353 The whole thing's his fault. 421 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,834 You did this, Carl. You bastard. 422 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,314 No, Lip! l never meant for that. l didn't! 423 00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:42,270 Leave it! 424 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:45,756 Shut the fuck up, all of you! 425 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:49,475 How can you all do this? l turn my back for ten minutes, 426 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,751 the whole house goes fucking ape. 427 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,916 Don't you think we're in enough trouble? 428 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:57,633 We can't afford to mess up like this. 429 00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,875 Do you understand? 430 00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:01,512 Do you fuck! 431 00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:06,112 Who do you think you're kidding? 432 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,549 This isn't about us. 433 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:10,272 lt's about you and Steve. 434 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,596 lt's about you feeling sorry for yourself. 435 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:15,870 You feel guilty because you weren't around. 436 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:17,911 At least Marty was doing something to help. 437 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:43,395 Shift it, Trogs. 438 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,994 You'll never guess what's happened round at our house. 439 00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:50,873 We've been burgled. Someone's nicked my grandma. 440 00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:58,559 Who in their right minds steals an urn? 441 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:00,431 How was l supposed to know what it was? 442 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:03,153 lt had ribbons on it. lt looked like a football trophy to me. 443 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:04,838 Big Stockport County fan. 444 00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,440 Trogs said she wanted her ashes scattered on the pitch, 445 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:10,552 but health and safety wouldn't let her. 446 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,079 So they keep her on the telly instead? 447 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,350 Marty! 448 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:18,632 How are we meant to trade her in if half of her is lying on your bed 449 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,240 with your porn? 450 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:24,595 Hold it. 451 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,119 Oh, for God's sake. 452 00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:28,151 Lick my... Oh. 453 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,034 PHONE RlNGS 454 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:57,710 What kind? l'm not very good at accents. 455 00:29:57,760 --> 00:29:59,955 Anything. Just so they don't recognise you. 456 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,434 l used to do a passable Shirley Bassey. 457 00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:05,552 lt's blackmail, Carol, not Stars ln Their eyes. 458 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:06,635 Do an accent. 459 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:16,274 Mm? 460 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:18,038 Zese are zey. 461 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:20,872 No, you listen. 462 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:25,835 lf you want to see Grandma alive again, you know what l mean? 463 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:29,714 Be at ze Jockey at six, and bring all ze things on ze list. 464 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:31,159 Ask for... 465 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:36,469 ..Sven. 466 00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:41,675 Sven's a bloke name. 467 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,593 Oi. Anyone here called Sven? 468 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,554 That'll be me. 469 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,114 DVD player, 470 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:07,438 yeah, yeah, and a cuddly toy. 471 00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:09,436 All accounted for. 472 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:13,314 - Now, where's me grandma? - ln the ladies, second cubicle. 473 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:31,908 Gran? 474 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:38,639 Look, please... 475 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:40,671 Here's your stuff. 476 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,029 Now, do you believe me? 477 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,996 lf you've got my gear, why should l not? 478 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:50,758 (Fiona) Lena, just hear us out. 479 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:53,519 Lip got the keys to your house from Sheila Jackson. 480 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,916 Fucking mad bitch. l should have known better than to trust her. 481 00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:00,111 Yes. We are related. Lip only came round to feed the fish. 482 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:03,516 Who fixed the tap in the kitchen, if it wasn't me? 483 00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:06,677 Who put money in the telephone box every time l made a call? 484 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:12,638 Not all this stuff is mine. 485 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:17,276 No, there's some extra bits and pieces to compensate for your inconvenience. 486 00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:24,598 OK. Bring them in. 487 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:25,789 Cheers. 488 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,673 - l'm really sorry if l scared you. - lf? 489 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,359 What about you? l crapped myself when you pulled that knife. 490 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,470 l only came round to do some homework, next thing, 491 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,192 some copper's beating the shit out of me. 492 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,834 You broke into somebody's house to do your homework. 493 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:42,711 Other people's homework. 494 00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,354 lt's what l do to earn a bit of extra money. 495 00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,630 l'm saving up to go abroad. 496 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,194 No wonder the police didn't believe you. 497 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:53,038 lf l arranged all this lot for you, 498 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:54,832 will you drop the charges? 499 00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:02,836 OK. 500 00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:11,079 What are you gonna do about Neary, and the assault charge? 501 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:13,076 Want to know what l'd do now? 502 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:22,916 Fucking great. ''Thanks, Frank, tell us your brilliant idea.'' Well, stuff you! 503 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:24,598 Go on then, what would you do? 504 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:30,149 Well, if he's that bent, l'd just bribe the bastard. 505 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:32,873 Brown envelope, full of cash, pay him off, simple. 506 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:35,354 Brilliant(!) Why didn't we think of that? Oh yeah, we did. 507 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,198 Then we realised we hadn't got enough to buy a packet of fags. 508 00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:40,231 (Debbie) l've got 450 quid. 509 00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:42,633 (Lip) What? 510 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:44,999 How much? 511 00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:50,319 450. From the videos. You can use that, if you promise to pay me back. 512 00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:52,794 You had nothing to lend me yesterday. 513 00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:58,198 Brilliant, Debs. 450. ls that enough to buy him off, Tony? 514 00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:00,276 Maybe, yeah, but it's risky, isn't it? 515 00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:03,039 Shut up about risky. What help have you been? 516 00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:04,274 Do you think he'll go for it? 517 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:07,394 Stan? 518 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:08,509 Yeah. 519 00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:10,710 - Pigs, dirty pigs. - (Stan) He might. 520 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,158 Oh, thank you, me. 521 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:18,590 Once again, Frank Gallagher, crisis intervention specialist. 522 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,552 Have you got something for me? 523 00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:36,556 What the fuck are you doing? 524 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:38,636 You've got the wrong end of the stick here. 525 00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,717 - Shut up. Keep still. - Ooh! 526 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:43,398 You're clean. 527 00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,556 lt's not mission fucking impossible. 528 00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,831 ''This pint will self-destruct in five seconds.'' 529 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,916 THEY MOUTH 530 00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:01,269 l'm here to give you a bung. How much to get him off? 531 00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:03,754 l don't know what you're talking about. 532 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,837 l understood you were interested in renting my caravan 533 00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:08,996 in Southport for a couple of weeks. 534 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,600 You what? Caravan? l fucking hate caravans. 535 00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:13,870 This is a right cock-up. 536 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:15,399 Who are you meant to be meeting? 537 00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:17,271 You. 538 00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:20,312 You should have got some holiday money for me. 539 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,148 Oh... Right. 540 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,873 The caravan. 541 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:31,833 All right... So how... 542 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:35,031 How much for a fortnight in the caravan? 543 00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:37,275 A grand. 544 00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:38,919 Fuck me. 545 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,554 l fucking need a pint. 546 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:43,238 He wants a grand. 547 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:47,159 Tell him no way. Start at 250, and then go up in 20s if you have to. 548 00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:49,430 450 is the absolute limit. 549 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:51,471 Leave it to me. l can read him like a book. 550 00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:58,511 21 0, our final offer. 551 00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,152 Up yours, sunshine. 552 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:13,834 Wait. 553 00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,190 l've heard your final offer. 554 00:36:20,240 --> 00:36:23,437 Caravans are more sophisticated these days 555 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:27,439 than Clampetts like you lot could appreciate. 556 00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,390 This is all we've got. Take it. 557 00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:36,512 Just don't let him go to prison. 558 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:38,198 lt's way short. 559 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:43,032 But there is a way that you can make up the difference. 560 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:44,069 Oh, yeah? 561 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:47,351 We could come to some arrangement. 562 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,231 Back of the van now for a quickie, 563 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:51,714 and you can save me a couple on account. 564 00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:54,957 A birdie tells me that you like fucking coppers and car thieves. 565 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:55,876 Piss off! 566 00:36:58,160 --> 00:36:59,593 No deal. 567 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:05,270 And this just about covers you wasting my time. 568 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:13,909 Are you OK? 569 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:15,552 l did warn you, didn't l? 570 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,750 He's a twat. 571 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:21,679 Listen, how far are you prepared to go to sort him out, eh? 572 00:37:21,720 --> 00:37:25,349 All the way. Anything. 573 00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:29,678 lf you really mean that, l reckon we could nail him. 574 00:37:29,720 --> 00:37:30,675 Here. 575 00:37:30,720 --> 00:37:32,711 You don't have to do this now, you know. 576 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,955 lt saves all the scrapping later. 577 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,592 Just don't go. 578 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:39,518 We'll hide you in the roof. lt worked for Anne Frank. 579 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:41,471 They caught Anne Frank. 580 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,112 Yeah, but not for ages. 581 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:47,950 Big prize for the first one to guess what l'm going to do with this? 582 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:49,479 Lip? 583 00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:57,716 Philip Gallagher, sarge. Decided to make a full statement. 584 00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,149 A confession? 585 00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:01,428 Let's get you in the interview room. 586 00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:06,395 Sergeant Neary, PC Howe - interview room two immediately. 587 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,639 Whoa! What the fuck do you think you're doing? 588 00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:13,954 He wanted to talk to us. 589 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,355 lt's amazing what a bit of community liaison can do. 590 00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:19,233 He's mine! Come on. 591 00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:22,039 (Woman) Get your hands off my tits! 592 00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:42,353 You gonna tell me something new or not? 593 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:43,549 (We'll see.) 594 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:48,355 Sorry to bother you, but l think we might have a problem. 595 00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:56,637 Why don't you kiss my big hairy swingers. Here. 596 00:38:58,240 --> 00:39:00,310 Argh! 597 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,029 Jesus! Stop him! 598 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,116 Argh! 599 00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:06,559 Argh! Argh! 600 00:39:10,720 --> 00:39:13,314 Come on, this wasn't me. 601 00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:15,635 lt's all a fucking stitch-up, sarge! 602 00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:20,913 Shut up, Neary. Mr Gallagher, do you wish to file a formal complaint? 603 00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:22,632 That depends. 604 00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:24,432 On? 605 00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:26,232 Whether he's saying l twatted him or not. 606 00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:29,158 You're being blackmailed here, sarge. 607 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:34,194 No, you are, and pretty successfully l'd say. 608 00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:38,392 lt's make your mind up time. Are you pressing charges or not? 609 00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:41,638 Fine. 610 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:43,709 Fine. 611 00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:52,272 And you two better watch your fucking backs as well. 612 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:58,031 Come on, you tight baskets. Get your hands in your pockets. 613 00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,799 1 5 quid, going for the last time now, 614 00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,877 for a beautiful pair of ladies' ski boots. 615 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:05,399 Top of the range. 616 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,715 Going to the lovely lady in the corner. 617 00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:11,958 Going once, going twice, they've gone. She's a winner. 618 00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:20,995 By the way, let's not forget why you're here, what it's all in aid of. 619 00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:25,477 Chatsworth Estate's answer to Ronald Biggs. 620 00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:29,399 The one, the only, at the bar over there, Mr Lip Gallagher! 621 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:33,556 This auction's being held 622 00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:36,717 to raise money to send Lip to America, 623 00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:38,239 so dig deep. 624 00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:39,599 Argh! 625 00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:41,198 ls this for me? 626 00:40:41,240 --> 00:40:44,357 No. l'm off out, l'll catch you later. 627 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:48,439 There's one more item to auction then we're gonna kick off the karaoke. 628 00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:51,517 Can we have a couple of volunteers to get us started? 629 00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:53,516 Gonna have a crack, give us your George Formby? 630 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:55,516 l can only do Gene Pitney. 631 00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:57,471 No-one knows who he is any more. 632 00:40:57,520 --> 00:40:59,476 You go. 633 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,830 Now my glamorous assistant, isn't she gorgeous? 634 00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:04,438 WOLF WHlSTLES 635 00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:11,079 She's got hold of Lot 41 - another brand-new fishing rod and reel. 636 00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:14,157 Who's gonna start the bidding at 20 quid? 637 00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,316 20 over here, 20! 638 00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:19,636 For fuck's sake, Sheila, you've already got one! 639 00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:23,673 One each for later, when they're older, stop the arguments. 640 00:41:23,720 --> 00:41:25,790 She's not daft. 641 00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:27,751 Who's going to give us 25? 642 00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,792 25, over here! 643 00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:32,558 Sweet Jesus, give me strength! 644 00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,630 Lip, what are you doing here? 645 00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:39,033 Nothing illegal. 646 00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:42,709 lt's my night off, l said you could come and work here tomorrow. 647 00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:46,309 l haven't come to do homework. l bought you a present to say thanks. 648 00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,351 You didn't have to. 649 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:55,628 l take it you didn't nick it? 650 00:41:55,680 --> 00:42:00,629 The receipt's in the box, in case you weren't keen on it. 651 00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:02,955 Thought you could do with the extra security. 652 00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,715 l know how to look after myself - normally. 653 00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:09,036 Maybe so, but you need eyes in the back of your head around here. 654 00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:12,311 My boyfriend used to work opposite shifts to me, 655 00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:14,954 so the house was always occupied. 656 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,753 You only see each other at tea times? How does that work? 657 00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:19,995 lt doesn't. 658 00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:26,959 Listen... 659 00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,349 ..Say if l'm out of order, 660 00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:34,278 but l'm pretty good in the sack. 661 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,509 And why would l want to know that? 662 00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:40,198 Better out than in. 663 00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:46,109 How old are you? 664 00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:47,309 36. 665 00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:57,479 l'm off to run a bath. 666 00:42:57,520 --> 00:42:59,033 Like l said, 667 00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:03,073 give us a shout if you need a hand with your back scrubbing. 668 00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:05,588 The bath's for you. 669 00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:15,072 Can l have a bit of hush everyone? 670 00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:17,680 Don't worry, Anne, it'll be your turn soon. 671 00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:20,473 Ladies and gents, welcome on stage with the voice of an angel 672 00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:24,991 and body of a baby hippo, it's PC Stan Waterman! 673 00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:36,350 We're caught in a trap... 674 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:38,391 Thank you! 675 00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:40,908 ..l can't walk out 676 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:42,632 CLAPPlNG 677 00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:47,754 Because l love you too much, baby 678 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:52,990 Why can't you see 679 00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:54,393 That's him! lt's fucking Elvis! 680 00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:56,635 What you're doing to me 681 00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:03,310 When you don't believe a word l say... 682 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,352 Come on, everybody! 683 00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:11,076 We can't go on together 684 00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:13,588 With suspicious minds 685 00:44:15,240 --> 00:44:18,710 And we can't build our dreams... 686 00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,957 (Screaming ladies) GET YOUR KNOB OUT! GET YOUR KNOB OUT! 687 00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:25,836 .. There we go again 688 00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:27,711 LAUGHTER 689 00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:31,036 (Screaming ladies) GET YOUR KNOB OUT! GET YOUR KNOB OUT! 690 00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,674 What is it? What?! 691 00:44:33,720 --> 00:44:37,998 (Ladies) GET YOUR KNOB OUT FOR THE GlRLS! 692 00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:39,109 What? 693 00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:41,679 Ah! 694 00:44:41,720 --> 00:44:44,871 Congratulations. You're going to be a daddy. 695 00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,313 You're gonna be a dad and everyone's going to think it's mine! 696 00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:51,191 But she's a fuckin' Maguire! 697 00:44:51,240 --> 00:44:56,314 Our one and only daughter and you've turned her into a woman. 698 00:44:58,200 --> 00:44:59,997 Do you want me to suck your tits? 699 00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:04,079 Maguire takes it on the chest, beats one man. WHAT A GOAL! 700 00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:05,758 Welcome to the family. 701 00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:08,279 Honest, Mimi, l love her. 702 00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:09,719 You'd better, lan, 703 00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:12,069 or your bollocks come off. 704 00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:16,709 Come on, let's get pissed. 705 00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:10,711 'Ahh! Oooh! 706 00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:12,637 '...Oh! 707 00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:15,672 'Elvis has left the building! Ah!' 708 00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:24,112 Debbie! 709 00:46:24,162 --> 00:46:28,712 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 52953

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