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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,366 --> 00:00:05,479 Why are children dancing with a mad Polish woman 2 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:06,879 in my electoral office? 3 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,479 When I agreed to this job, you said that I could bring Ian into work. 4 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:11,079 Senator Cleaver Greene. 5 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,639 I was your fellow speaker here today. 6 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:15,119 Li-Ming Wu. Hi. 7 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:16,839 The bodies of two drowned plumbers 8 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,999 were pulled from a sewer today in Canberra. 9 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,839 The bodies were identified 10 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,839 as brothers Jake and Gordon Metherill from Queanbeyan. 11 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:25,439 - The plumbers. - Hm? 12 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:27,039 You didn't. You wouldn't. 13 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:28,559 Have you got an appointment to see me, Joe? 14 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:31,679 What if I throw you my numbers, make you Prime Minister? 15 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:33,519 You give me that back, 16 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:35,159 you sign a legal document 17 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,679 relinquishing all future claims to it. 18 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:39,519 - Prime Minister, Cal. - It's my painting. 19 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,359 - Prime Minister. - Mmm... 20 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,039 Are you sure you can't find another hour or so? 21 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:47,599 It is not often I spend time with someone who appreciates my passion. 22 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,400 Why are people leaving the room quickly? 23 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:52,359 Oh, shit. 24 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:54,279 It's a coup. 25 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:55,680 - It's a fucking coup. - Oh... 26 00:01:06,770 --> 00:01:14,776 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 27 00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:36,480 (CHINESE MUSIC PLAYS) 28 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,280 (PEOPLE CHATTER) 29 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,240 Excuse me. 30 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,279 You're looking great. 31 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:15,079 Why was I not invited? 32 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,119 (CHUCKLES) Because questions would be asked 33 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,879 by my parents and my husband's parents, 34 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:24,239 the politburo, the ambassador, not to mention my husband. 35 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,719 Yes, yes. Well, let's... Let's not mention him. 36 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:29,999 Now, who is the offending article? 37 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,639 Stop it! He is the deputy secretary for the embassy here. 38 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:35,439 - Oh, is he? - Yes. 39 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:36,999 Oh, right. Well, good for him. 40 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,239 His father is about the third richest man in China. 41 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:40,320 Oh, is he? 42 00:02:40,321 --> 00:02:42,399 And he wants his son to be president one day. 43 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,519 Does he? And, um... 44 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,399 Do you love him? 45 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,760 I like him. 46 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,759 He's handsome, he's smart. 47 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,999 With my advice, he could get things done. 48 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,839 See, I don't like him. 49 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,439 - You never met him. - No, but I don't... 50 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,839 I don't have to meet people to not like them, I just... 51 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,999 So, this is the real you, 52 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,920 as opposed to the bullshit artist I had lunch with. 53 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,679 Yes. This is... 54 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,839 This is it, I'm afraid. 55 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,960 I always prefer the genuine article. 56 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,039 (PEOPLE EXCLAIM) 57 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,640 (WOMAN SHOUTS IN CHINESE LANGUAGE) 58 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,000 (SHOUTS ANGRILY) 59 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,560 Er, happy to talk about this, guys. 60 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,999 Sources within Australia's diplomatic corps are describing it 61 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:02,359 as is one of the most embarrassing diplomatic incidents in decades. 62 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,679 The Chinese Premier is not only calling for an apology... 63 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,319 Pull up in this vet. 64 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,079 Princess is distressed. 65 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,880 I need to see if there's someone who could have a look at her. 66 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,320 (GAGGING SOUND) 67 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,039 Oh, God! 68 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,120 Whoa... Oh, God! 69 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,079 - Oh... - Yes, they can see her. 70 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,199 Oh, mate, she's chucked something up in there. 71 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:32,559 - What? - Oh, mate. 72 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,719 She has thrown something up in there that you don't want to know about. 73 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,400 Oh, Princess. 74 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,439 Where... where is she? 75 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,528 What do you mean? 76 00:04:42,529 --> 00:04:45,240 - Where's Princess? - I don't know. 77 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,999 Where is she? Well... 78 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,759 Well... Well, she... 79 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,599 She was right here a second ago. 80 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,559 - I'm buggered if I know. - You... you were right here. 81 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,319 Well, mate, I don't know. I mean has she... she... 82 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:58,719 Princess... 83 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:00,279 Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty. 84 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:01,440 Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! 85 00:05:01,441 --> 00:05:03,279 Kitty, kitty, kitty. 86 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:06,239 Oh, no. I don't know. Catty! 87 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,479 This morning, I had the privilege 88 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,639 to inform His Excellency the Governor-General 89 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:15,479 that the Federal Liberal Party last night bestowed upon me 90 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,679 the enormous honour of its leadership. 91 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:22,000 He consequently asked me to form a government. 92 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,119 I would like to thank Gareth Morrow 93 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:27,399 for his fantastic work as Prime Minister 94 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,600 over the past five Newspolls... uh, 15 weeks. 95 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:35,079 But quite frankly, we weren't coming up to scratch. 96 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:36,919 (LAUGHS) Darling. 97 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,279 Come here. 98 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:43,079 More significantly, though, and on a very, er, very sad note, 99 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:46,279 Chief Justice Nelson last night passed away suddenly 100 00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:47,360 from a heart attack. 101 00:05:47,361 --> 00:05:51,719 He graced his office with grace and dignity 102 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:55,039 and we send our condolences and love to His Honour's family 103 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,879 and, of course, there will be a state funeral. 104 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:01,159 - Are there any questions? - Mr McGregor... 105 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,239 - (REPORTERS CLAMOUR) - Yes? 106 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,959 I understand the incident at the Midwinter Ball last night 107 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:09,439 involving Senator Cleaver Greene, a Chinese bride, 108 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:10,999 and the collapse of a screen 109 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,959 has caused enormous tensions with Beijing. 110 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,999 Mm. Not all, Catherine, no. 111 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,879 I spoke to Premier Tsing this morning and we couldn't be closer. 112 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:22,440 Relations simply could not be better. 113 00:06:23,625 --> 00:06:25,625 _ 114 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,120 God... 115 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,560 So what made you come home so suddenly? 116 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:34,560 Claudia left me. 117 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,160 - Claudia's a colleague? - My boss. 118 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:40,360 OK. 119 00:06:40,361 --> 00:06:42,719 And... And she's about how... 120 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:44,800 - 54. - Right, 54. 121 00:06:45,587 --> 00:06:47,999 Darling, can I ask you a, um... 122 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,160 ...a bit of an awkward question? 123 00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:52,665 Yeah. 124 00:06:52,666 --> 00:06:55,079 This thing that you've clearly got about older women, 125 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:58,279 and it is a thing because it's been going on for a while now... 126 00:06:58,280 --> 00:06:59,400 Mm-hm. 127 00:06:59,401 --> 00:07:01,919 ...do you think that, um... you know, subconsciously, 128 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,479 it's a way of, um... 129 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,679 ...sort of... 130 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,839 ...that it's about you and me? 131 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:09,989 Eugh! 132 00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:12,599 Are you out of... Are you kidding me? 133 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:16,359 How many times do I have tell you, Mum, this is not oedipal? 134 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,079 This is just a thing. 135 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,239 - It's a normal thing. - OK. 136 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,519 See, I think that a more normal thing would be 137 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,679 to have lustful thoughts about girls your own age, for example, you know. 138 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:26,695 What is there to understand? 139 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:29,799 Most people, they have things, and most people don't know why. 140 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,359 But darling, she's 54. 141 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,599 I mean that's, you know... 142 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,999 Are you saying that a 54-year-old woman can't be beautiful? 143 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,319 No, that's not what I'm saying. 144 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:37,559 It's just around the corner for you. 145 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,639 Well, hey, it's not around the corner, I'll have you know. 146 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,079 It's a good way off. 147 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,719 And, you know, Missy is a beautiful woman 148 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:46,439 and you have a child together, and she's got a good decade on you. 149 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,799 And, I mean, that's substantial, 150 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,080 that's something to be getting on with, don't you think? 151 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,519 - Can I help you? - Dallas Jeffrey, Senator Greene. 152 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,679 I'm from Morgan Field Estate Agents, who represent this property. 153 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,479 This is your notice to quit. 154 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,519 - Quit what? - These premises. Immediately. 155 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:06,999 Well, you can't do this. 156 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,599 I'm a... I'm... I'm... 157 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,839 - I'm a Senator. - We're very well aware of that. 158 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,279 Well, I have a lease. 159 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,079 Many of the terms of which you have broken. 160 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,239 Here's the thing, I'm glad you're here 161 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,359 because I've been having a lot of issues 162 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:19,759 with the plumbing in this joint, 163 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,679 things you don't want to know about, 164 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:23,719 that I've had to pay for out of my own pocket, 165 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,719 and I need to be compensated for that. 166 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:28,359 You have constantly been in arrears with your rental payments. 167 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:31,479 Yes, now, see, that's an issue I'm having with the banking industry 168 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,359 because there's a conspiracy going on. 169 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:34,560 Senator Greene, I... 170 00:08:34,561 --> 00:08:37,879 So that you can't just kick me out of here without any notice. 171 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:39,919 I... I know the law. 172 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,719 I make the law. 173 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,559 There is a clause in your rental agreement 174 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:48,039 which specifically prohibits subletting your space, 175 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,725 and allows for instant termination of the lease if you do. 176 00:08:50,726 --> 00:08:51,818 I've never... 177 00:08:51,819 --> 00:08:53,639 You have an hour to vacate these premises. 178 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:57,320 These gentlemen will ensure your rapid departure. 179 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,879 We'll probably need to fumigate. 180 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:02,759 Is it all done? Locked up at the back? 181 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:04,879 Alright, send the cleaners in now, please. 182 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:08,919 Oh, the new Prime Minister is so keen for a meeting. 183 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,880 Last night, he went... 184 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,640 Oh, great. That'd be right. Here we go. 185 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,319 - Yes, mate. - Hey! 186 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:20,639 Listen would you mind just taking them to Wendy's, please? 187 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,120 I'm assuming this'll be my lift for the day. 188 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:28,439 Hello, Nicole. Would you mind meeting me at the house, please, 189 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:29,839 as soon as possible? 190 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,159 Thank you. 191 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,160 - (KNOCK AT DOOR) - Come! 192 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,087 I'm a man of my word... 193 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,440 ...Treasurer. 194 00:09:43,430 --> 00:09:46,719 Well, I won't say thank you 195 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:50,240 but I am prepared to acknowledge the gesture. 196 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,239 - Fair enough. - (PHONE PINGS) 197 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,079 Uh, Joe, hang on a tick. 198 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:57,719 Greene's coming in. 199 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,040 Might be better if we double-team him. 200 00:10:01,746 --> 00:10:03,546 Brother. 201 00:10:04,939 --> 00:10:06,819 Rightio... 202 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:10,600 ...brother. 203 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,800 - Thank you. - (BABY GURGLES) 204 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,639 I... I didn't know you were coming back. 205 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,879 It was a spur of the moment decision. 206 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:33,599 - Ow! - Spur is not a fucking excuse! 207 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,999 You might want to hide behind being a child, 208 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,719 but you're not a child anymore! 209 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:38,800 Ow! 210 00:10:38,801 --> 00:10:41,239 OK, one was fair, alright? 211 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:43,559 Do not get me started on fair. 212 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,119 You are an adult. 213 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,959 You have responsibilities. 214 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:50,399 Do you have any idea how selfish you've been? 215 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,560 Is there an answer I can give that won't result in me getting a slap? 216 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:58,799 Is Claudia here? 217 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,359 Is that why you've come back? 218 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,440 Claudia and I have broken up. 219 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,359 God. She's so grown-up. 220 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,800 Yeah, it's what happens, doesn't it? 221 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,079 Hey, little darlin' baby girl. 222 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:16,359 Hi. 223 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,000 Oh. 224 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:21,439 (CHUCKLES) Good girl. 225 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:23,319 There were no deaths, 226 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:26,319 but there was quite a bit of physical damage, and political. 227 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,959 So, I mean, it has to be attempted manslaughter at least. 228 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,519 What, a screen falling over? 229 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,439 Jesus, you're a shit lawyer, Cal. 230 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,959 There's no such thing as attempted manslaughter, mate. 231 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:39,679 By definition, you can't attempt the accidental death of someone. 232 00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:42,639 Terry, I need to give the Chinese something. 233 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:44,679 Or to be more precise, someone. 234 00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:46,039 There's attempted assault. 235 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,799 What, by leaning on a screen? Which nobody saw me do, by the way. 236 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,460 And which resulted in a couple of people getting bruised. 237 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:53,359 - You pushed over the screen... - I leaned. 238 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,439 ...with the intention of causing grievous bodily harm 239 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,039 on a race of people that you hate. 240 00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,359 Oh, the whole race? With one screen? 241 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:00,947 Your father served in Korea, didn't he? 242 00:12:00,948 --> 00:12:02,919 - Yes. And? - There you go. 243 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:04,959 What do you mean "there you go"? 244 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:09,359 Let's go with the whole hate-slash-terrorism line. 245 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,759 That way, we can have a trial in Canberra, 246 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:13,439 no press, no public. 247 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,359 We can have him off to an island by Thursday. 248 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,439 Terrorism is clean, uncontroversial. 249 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:18,839 And chuck in the hate crime... 250 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,119 Oh. You people... You're... you're mental. 251 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:24,599 You have deliberately destroyed years of patient diplomacy. 252 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:25,640 Whose diplomacy? 253 00:12:25,641 --> 00:12:27,959 You've been Prime Minister for about seven seconds, mate. 254 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,239 I mean the South China Sea is about to erupt. 255 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,319 I mean you have no idea the shit I had to eat 256 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:33,919 from the Chinese this morning. 257 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,719 You know, if I close my eyes, Cal, 258 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,959 it's almost as if you're channelling my sister. 259 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:44,880 I mean, your voice is a couple of octaves higher, but it's uncanny. 260 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,159 So? 261 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:51,279 Oh, they're talking terrorism charges. 262 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:53,319 - What?! - Hilarious. Yeah. 263 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,599 I mean, they're gonna try and pin me with whatever they can get. 264 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,028 But it's pretty funny. I'm actually quite... 265 00:12:57,029 --> 00:12:58,215 - (EXCLAIMS) - I know. 266 00:12:58,216 --> 00:13:00,780 I'm looking forward to it, it'll be a big day with the press obviously. 267 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:01,987 - Terrorism? - Terrorism. 268 00:13:01,988 --> 00:13:05,319 I mean, I leant against the screen, or is it leaned? 269 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,199 Um... Well, leaned or leant? 270 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:10,239 That is the deputy secretary of the Chinese Embassy 271 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,839 waiting outside your office. 272 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:12,920 The whatty... what? 273 00:13:12,921 --> 00:13:14,239 Why? Well, has he got an appointment? 274 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,359 No, but I'm thinking that he doesn't need one. 275 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:17,599 Well, why do I want to see him? 276 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,640 Because he's here and he was the groom. 277 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,199 Oh, my God. He's the groom. 278 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:24,679 - Oh, shitballs. - Yep. 279 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:27,839 Oh, wow, he looks fit. 280 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,999 Yeah. Pretty, pretty fit. 281 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:33,239 Like, I'm talking Jet Li. 282 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,919 You mean Bruce Lee. 283 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,279 No, I mean Jet Li. 284 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,799 Who's Jet Li? Oh, you're thinking of Jason Scott Lee, Bruce's son. 285 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,679 No, Bruce's son was Brandon Lee. 286 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:43,959 I don't care if it's Jennifer Jason... 287 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,279 Just shush, shush. 288 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,199 Let me focus here. 289 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:50,119 Listen, could you just get some sort of emergency medical services 290 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,999 on standby, please? 291 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,920 OK, I'll call the Coroner. 292 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,519 Ah, Deputy Secretary, a pleasure to meet you. 293 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,680 Senator Greene, how do you do? 294 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,840 It has been a pleasure. 295 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,519 - He seemed nice. - Yeah. 296 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,839 I mean, that went a lot better than I thought it would. 297 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,439 Just keep your head back. 298 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,239 Ah. That's nice. 299 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:22,719 Mm. 300 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:24,080 Ohh... 301 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,159 I know this is unfortunate timing 302 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:33,079 but my people have told me that you should make your reckoning now. 303 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,319 Make my reckoning? What? 304 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:36,959 Settle your account. 305 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:41,999 There is not much confidence amongst any of the drivers' factions 306 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,079 that you will be a senator much longer. 307 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:46,639 I am under considerable political pressure right now... 308 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:47,959 Oh, yes, right. 309 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,839 ...and in order to maintain my position, 310 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,679 I have to be seen to be showing strength. 311 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,719 And what position do you think I'm in to settle any account, mate? 312 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,839 I'm a homeless person with a broken nose. 313 00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:59,679 This is about the Princess, and don't pretend otherwise. 314 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:02,239 I'll get you a new cat. Put it on the tab. 315 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:03,679 Half the money, now. 316 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:04,959 I don't have half the... 317 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,879 I mean, I don't know how much the whole amount is, mate, 318 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,039 but I can tell you now I don't have half of it. 319 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,919 Half the money, or half a finger? 320 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,239 Half a finger? 321 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,239 What, are you fuckin' Tony Soprano now? 322 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:16,600 (TYRES SCREECH) 323 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:19,720 Jesus... 324 00:15:19,721 --> 00:15:21,999 My colleagues are very serious people. 325 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,439 Half a finger? 326 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,159 Mate, I've been driving you and that anally bereft cat of yours 327 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:27,203 around for weeks now. 328 00:15:27,204 --> 00:15:28,409 That's gotta be worth something. 329 00:15:28,410 --> 00:15:30,479 - OK, you get 5% off for driving. - Christ! 330 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:34,040 - How much do you think I owe you? - Let me check. Pass me that ledger. 331 00:15:36,066 --> 00:15:37,186 Yep. 332 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,040 (MUTTERS) 333 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,719 $180,000. 334 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:47,999 - Rounded down. - 180,000? 335 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,279 That is impossible, mate. 336 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,199 With interest, very possible. 337 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,280 That is bullshit! 338 00:15:52,281 --> 00:15:54,639 I can't even conceptualise 180 grand, mate. 339 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,719 - Look, it's not just me. - Holy shit! 340 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,439 These are very serious people. 341 00:15:58,440 --> 00:15:59,758 Who, the drivers? 342 00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:02,479 If I don't go back with half the money or half a finger, 343 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,084 I will lose their respect and perhaps a whole finger myself. 344 00:16:05,085 --> 00:16:06,111 Oh... 345 00:16:06,112 --> 00:16:08,239 And I don't think that's fair, under the circumstances. 346 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,999 OK. Well, let's just go down to an ATM and withdraw $90,000! 347 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,799 I... Alright, I tell you what. 348 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,159 I will... 349 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:15,639 I'll write you a cheque. 350 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,040 (LAUGHS) 351 00:16:18,993 --> 00:16:22,992 You can be so amusing sometimes, sir. 352 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,400 Your son has made a lot of money, has he not? 353 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,879 I don't know. Why are we talking about my son now? 354 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,799 - You do know he's back in Australia? - No, he's not. Since when? 355 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,239 Since this morning. 356 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:35,639 He would've called. 357 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,719 Well... How do you know these things? 358 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,559 Good God, man. 359 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:43,519 You still do not understand the mysteries of power. 360 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:45,980 True power is never seen. 361 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,639 We are drivers. 362 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:52,479 We are this country's connective tissue. 363 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,640 And I want my Princess back. 364 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,799 - (BABY CRIES) - (DOOR OPENS) 365 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,359 Hey, mate. 366 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,399 Why didn't you tell me you were back? 367 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,519 It's a long story, Cleave. 368 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:28,959 - Mate. - It's a real cracker. 369 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,679 It's one for the whole family. 370 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,040 Oh, mate. 371 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,480 What are you doing? 372 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,159 Why is he wearing your robe? 373 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,639 Well, er... the ball was boring, 374 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,279 there was all that screaming coming from the Chinese wedding next door. 375 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,239 - And I invited him back for a drink. - Are you kidding me? 376 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,079 Oh, my God! Are you kidding? 377 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:49,159 Oh, God. Ohhhh! God! 378 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,519 Are you kidding me? 379 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,079 Oh. 380 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:54,439 You right in there, Cleave? 381 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:58,759 You have not got an original idea in your head! 382 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,039 Or your penis! 383 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,559 Don't you see what's going on? 384 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,319 He has been stalking me, sexually. 385 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:07,359 - He has not been... - For years! Years! 386 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,799 The whole world doesn't revolve around your penis! 387 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:13,239 - (ALL SHOUT AT ONCE) - (BABY CRIES) 388 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:16,319 Oh, oh, what's Cleaver up to now? Oh... 389 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,719 You're a sick man. I'm gonna throw up. 390 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,439 - You are sick! - You know what, you're right. 391 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,559 You're right, Cleaver. I was screwed. 392 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,252 - But Wendy has helped me see the light. - Oh. 393 00:18:25,253 --> 00:18:28,359 You know, I was like a... like a crab lugging around his shell 394 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:31,319 as opposed to a shell lugging around his crabs. 395 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,799 Oh, see, that's not fun... You think that's funny. 396 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,159 But you know what? I have outgrown... 397 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,519 - He thinks that's funny. - ..my tiny shell. 398 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,799 I now have a new, big roomy one, 399 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:42,119 with a jacuzzi and a '70s soundtrack. 400 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,399 Look at him. That's my shell! 401 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,159 - Oh, God... - That is my shell. 402 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,439 You gave him my shell. 403 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,159 - I didn't give him... - You did! 404 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,324 Stop talking about shells. 405 00:18:51,325 --> 00:18:54,959 Because you couldn't have me and so you... you were determined to... 406 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,199 ...to build someone in my likeness. 407 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,679 - Cleaver, I rejected you, remember? - Yes. 408 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:00,999 Yes, you rejected me 409 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,399 because you wanted to go lounging around in Sardinia, 410 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:06,119 and I wanted to stay here and serve the people. 411 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:08,199 I rejected you because I can't actually trust 412 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,159 a single word that comes out of your mouth. 413 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,279 And the idea of you serving the people is ridiculous. 414 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,799 Did you two... I need to know. Did you? 415 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:16,800 Did you? 416 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:19,760 That is absolutely none of your business. 417 00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:23,680 Did it? 418 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,799 (BRIGHT KIDS MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND) 419 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,359 Oh, that fucking song again. 420 00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:32,079 World travel hasn't made you any more familiar 421 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,239 with the notion of knocking, I see. 422 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,999 Oh, my God, that song is going to drive someone postal one day. 423 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,439 Your mother's obviously been putting up with it for a year now. 424 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:45,439 However, number one on my Freudian hit parade right now 425 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:48,519 is what the hell is going on with you, my friend? 426 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,519 Claudia dumped me. 427 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,879 And Claudia would be the... 428 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:58,199 ...the octogenarian woman who lured you into her honey trap? 429 00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:59,519 Fuck, Dad. 430 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:03,199 Don't joke about this or I swear to fuck I will get on a plane 431 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,719 because I came here for comfort and support. 432 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,999 Right. Yes, see, sometimes we think we need comfort and support, 433 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:14,199 but actually what we really need is a size 9.5 Blunny up the clacker. 434 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:17,759 Why should men get to be with women half their age, 435 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,919 and women aren't allowed to do the same thing? 436 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:23,319 I mean, the President of France has a wife 25 years older than him. 437 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:24,521 Is he copping shit? 438 00:20:24,522 --> 00:20:27,439 Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe the President of France 439 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:31,439 has fathered a child with his own father's former prostitute... 440 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:33,439 Not that that'd be a problem in France, of course. 441 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:37,360 Just... Just help me out with one thing, mate. 442 00:20:38,466 --> 00:20:40,865 What in the name of God 443 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,679 could possibly be wrong with Missy? 444 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:48,119 I mean, she's an incredible woman, she's... she's older than you. 445 00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:51,239 If it's not working, it's not working. 446 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,719 I fell for Claudia the moment I met her. 447 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:54,959 No, you didn't. You didn't. 448 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,196 No, you didn't. 449 00:20:56,197 --> 00:20:58,519 You see, this is... Argh! 450 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,639 You've inherited your father's disease, mate. 451 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,319 You're mistaking possibility for love. 452 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,039 I don't know what that means. 453 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:09,680 The only thing that ever falls in love at first sight is your penis. 454 00:21:10,713 --> 00:21:17,152 Real love presents itself slowly, over time. 455 00:21:17,177 --> 00:21:19,136 And sometimes... 456 00:21:19,553 --> 00:21:22,873 ...you only realise it when it's left the building. 457 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,279 WENDY: Can you please stop singing that song? 458 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:28,320 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 459 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,040 So, um... 460 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:39,359 ...how is, uh... how's every other little thing in your life? 461 00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:41,479 How's, uh... how's business going? 462 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:43,119 It's fine. 463 00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:44,759 Why do you ask? 464 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,239 Oh, no, just... just wondering. 465 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,506 Shit, how much? 466 00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:49,240 Mate, it doesn't always have to be about... 467 00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:52,559 - How much, Cleave? - About 90. Quite quickly. 468 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:55,679 - Fuck. - Oh, mate. It's the drivers. 469 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,559 These are serious guys. 470 00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:01,119 They seem to run the planet and I've lost one of their cats. 471 00:22:01,660 --> 00:22:03,820 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 472 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,160 I'll get him. 473 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:15,400 - (MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY) - (DOOR CLOSES) 474 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,159 Not a word from you. 475 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,800 OK, not a syllable from you. 476 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:30,559 So, here I was thinking that I was about to be charged with terrorism 477 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:33,159 and that'd be fine because I could defend that, but no. 478 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:36,439 The charge is fraudulent use of government property 479 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,079 for personal financial gain, OK? 480 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:40,759 And that's provable. 481 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,199 The fucking creche. 482 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:43,759 It was a community service. 483 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,439 She's been charging for it. 484 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:46,879 - I mean, I assumed she... - OK. 485 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,519 ...you know, she'd be covering the costs 486 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,519 of, you know, cheese sticks and party pies. 487 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,439 How much money do you think she's made from this thing? 488 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,199 I don't... I'm not sure exactly. 489 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:55,919 Rough guess. 490 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:59,119 120, 130... 491 00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:01,039 - Thousand? - Yep. 492 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,360 - Dollars? - Yep. 493 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,279 All declared to the Tax Office, I'm assuming. 494 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:11,799 There is a serious shortage of good childcare in the city. 495 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,959 Yeah, and, um... 496 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:17,039 So, what did you do with this money? 497 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:20,359 I put it under your mattress at my place. 498 00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:23,239 Under my mattress, did you? 499 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:28,359 And so how much money do you think the nice policeman found 500 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:29,799 under my mattress? 501 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,999 I think the policeman found about 100. 502 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,200 100,000? 503 00:23:34,201 --> 00:23:36,039 Yeah, I mean, we spent a little bit 504 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,839 and then we've got a lot of family back in Poland. 505 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,079 Oh, yeah. 506 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:43,079 And, um, oh, I put on, uh, a deposit for a school for lain. 507 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:44,479 Oh, good. 508 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:51,159 And, so, the nice man literally found $100,000 under my mattress? 509 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:52,679 - It sounds bad, but... - Doesn't it? 510 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,999 Yeah. It just... snowballed. 511 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,399 It got really out of control. 512 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,399 I mean the kids just adore Mama. 513 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,399 - Do they? - And... and the parents adore Mama. 514 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,159 Do they? OK. 515 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,760 Here's how we're gonna play this. Alright. 516 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:10,199 You don't speak a word of English, alright? 517 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,719 I don't want to hear another word of English from you 518 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,399 until all this fucknuttedness is over, yeah? 519 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,439 You don't speak a word of Polish. 520 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:19,520 I'm fluent. 521 00:24:19,521 --> 00:24:22,799 You don't speak a word of the bastard, alright? 522 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,439 That's the game. 523 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,439 It's all about confusion, yeah? 524 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,479 You came out here as a little girl, 525 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,119 your parents were constantly squabbling in Polish... 526 00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:34,039 I mean, they fought a little bit, but they didn't... 527 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:37,239 Your parents were constantly squabbling in Polish, 528 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,319 and that's why you've never embraced their language 529 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,639 because... because it stunted you emotionally, OK? 530 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,679 Hence, your mum and you have always had these kind of mix-ups, 531 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:48,999 these constant misinterpretations. 532 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,719 It's been an albatross around your neck since you were a little girl, 533 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,599 and that's when you start to cry. 534 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,919 Oh, do I have to cry? 535 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,999 Yes, of course you have to cry! 536 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,039 Are you crazy? How long have you been working for me? 537 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,640 (PRETENDS TO CRY) 538 00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:07,199 There's always been this void, a void between us. 539 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:08,439 My mother and I, 540 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:12,520 I mean, we just don't understand each other as a mother and a daughter. 541 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:15,519 I... 542 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,839 I mean, I... I love her. 543 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:19,320 I don't know her. 544 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,679 I've been... I've been in Canberra so busy. 545 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,240 I didn't know she was running a creche. 546 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:32,399 And my partner Barney ran off with a Monica Bellucci look-alike. 547 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,159 And Cleaver Greene knows nothing about this! 548 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,279 - I get the picture, Cleaver. - Do you understand? 549 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:40,439 You don't speak any English, OK? 550 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:41,839 Because you're about to be charged. 551 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,279 Jakub will sort out the bail. 552 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:45,919 Do you understand? 553 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:46,920 (MOUTHS WORDS) 554 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,240 Do you understand? (MOUTHS WORDS) 555 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:55,959 So you'll defend us? 556 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:59,119 I can't defend you, I'm not at the bar anymore. 557 00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:02,759 I'm gonna have to get an old friend to do it, or an old enemy. 558 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:04,879 So he wasn't arrested for terrorism? 559 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,319 What was he arrested for? 560 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,239 His chief of staff's mother was running a creche 561 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:09,999 out of his Sydney office. 562 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,480 Misuse of public funds. 563 00:26:12,333 --> 00:26:14,412 Oh, well, next best thing. 564 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:16,359 It'll be an open trial, Cal. 565 00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:18,279 Jack, would you excuse us? 566 00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:19,519 Sure. 567 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,559 Jane, you may want to excuse yourself as well. 568 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:22,880 Seriously. 569 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:36,759 It's about what happened in the new... 570 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:39,279 Well, that is to say the former Parliament House. 571 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,839 Oh, gee. Is it the terrorists? Is there another plot? 572 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,319 Because I am not backing away in a fight from this one, Joe. 573 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,239 It's the last thing that people wanna see. 574 00:26:46,820 --> 00:26:48,440 Cal, there were no terrorists. 575 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:51,560 - What? - It was dodgy plumbing. 576 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:54,359 Stuffed electrics. 577 00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:55,759 Just a cigarette butt 578 00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:58,759 thrown at some inappropriately placed cleaning products. 579 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:00,599 What are you saying? It was just... 580 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,359 - What, an accident? - It was just an accident. 581 00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:06,199 But you guys were all over the news, from day one it was terrorism. 582 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,439 Yeah, we thought it was for a bit. 583 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,439 But, you know, that was before we found out 584 00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:11,279 actually what happened from the plumbers. 585 00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:12,600 Plumbers, what plumbers? 586 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:15,999 Oh, the ones who just drowned? The brothers? 587 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,879 As a matter of fact, that was them. 588 00:27:18,580 --> 00:27:21,239 - So, what, we... - We retrenched them. 589 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:25,440 That's all. We retrenched them with extreme prejudice. 590 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,421 Jesus. Why did you tell me this, Jack? 591 00:27:28,422 --> 00:27:29,788 Because you've got a choice, Cal. 592 00:27:29,789 --> 00:27:31,599 I have no choice! 593 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,799 I have to go straight to the cops with this one. 594 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:35,399 Legally, yes. 595 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,559 But a number of us, Gareth, Angela, myself, 596 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,519 will probably spend the rest of our fucking lives in prison. 597 00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:43,239 Oh, yeah, and what would be the downside for me? 598 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,159 Your government would fall tomorrow, 599 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,759 and you'd be the shortest-serving Prime Minister 600 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:49,159 in this country's history. 601 00:27:49,700 --> 00:27:52,959 And what, you say, uh, Greene knows all about this? 602 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,319 I don't know what Greene knows. 603 00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,240 And, what, he's facing an open trial? 604 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:00,379 I don't know how he's going to get the evidence into it. 605 00:28:00,380 --> 00:28:02,320 Oh, it's Greene, you idiot! 606 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:05,959 He doesn't care if he gets it into evidence. 607 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,279 He's just gonna put on his circus act and all the press'll cover it. 608 00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,240 - (BABY GURGLES) - Bubba. 609 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:22,839 What the hell? 610 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:24,180 What? 611 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:26,999 Your hair. 612 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,439 Oh, this. 613 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,520 Oh. Just trying out a new look. 614 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:35,360 - Miss... - Oh, God. Really? 615 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,320 Really? 616 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:43,119 Is this... is this really all it takes, Fuzz? 617 00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:45,780 Fuzz, it's a stupid wig and glasses. 618 00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:51,599 You know that if I take these off, um, I'm not a different person. 619 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,480 I'm the exact same person that you said that you loved. 620 00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,359 Yeah, I imagined this being much more satisfying. 621 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,280 The wig and the glasses. 622 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:07,039 I mean, know people have their... things, obsessions. 623 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:09,719 - Oh, yeah. Fetishes? - Whatever. 624 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:13,039 It's just... it's not necessarily something you can... you can control. 625 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,679 Fuzz. You can't lecture me about fetishes. 626 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,479 Yeah, I know. I mean you, you wrote all about them. 627 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,559 I mean, come on, Miss, guys in closets 628 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:23,399 wearing rubber gloves and catsuits, and I'm just... 629 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,479 Fuzz, I don't care how old she is, 630 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:29,120 and I know I've done a lot of weird shit in a previous life. 631 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:39,159 You know what? Shocking as it may seem, 632 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,119 I feel like I've reached a point 633 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:45,080 where I want someone who just wants me. 634 00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,240 Fuck. 635 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,599 So, I've just been trying to do a deal with the DPP, right, 636 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:07,239 but the government wants my seat so they want me out. 637 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,719 So, I'm basically looking at three years in the slammer 638 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:11,359 if I don't do a deal. 639 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,679 But, if I plead guilty, that's the end of my political career, 640 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,319 so I'm basically fucked, mate, I am fucked. 641 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,719 To say nothing of the fact that I'm about to lose a digit or two, 642 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,839 so, Fuzzy, if you could possibly see your way clear, mate, 643 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:25,119 if you've got 90 lying around in a sock drawer somewhere, 644 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,279 now would be the time to whip it out. 645 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,559 Missy's playing mind games with me. 646 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,199 Did you hear what I just said? 647 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:35,799 Mate, I've made this observation about your generation before, 648 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:37,359 about listening. 649 00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:38,959 She was wearing a wig. 650 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,239 - I rest my case. - It was silvery grey. 651 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:42,759 Fuck, mate. 652 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,079 Well, a silvery grey wig, I mean, 653 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,959 you'd like that, wouldn't you, with your special needs. 654 00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:49,799 She had these glasses on. 655 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:51,597 I always had a thing for women in glasses. 656 00:30:51,598 --> 00:30:54,559 Oh, well, yeah, let's just have a chat about that. 657 00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:58,159 Let's talk about that as opposed to, the fact that your old man 658 00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:01,159 is going to end up back in the fucking clink again. 659 00:31:01,646 --> 00:31:03,166 Sorry. 660 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,399 Dad, she knows I'm a Californian resident. 661 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:09,639 She's probably freezing my assets as we speak. 662 00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:13,239 Freezing your assets. Right, OK. 663 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:18,919 So that... and that'd be where any kind of potential loany thing 664 00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,479 might be coming from. 665 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:23,919 - Yeah. That's where the money is. - See, that's no good. 666 00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:27,040 I'm about to start shedding fingers. 667 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,280 Alright, mate, I'll be back in a jiffy. OK. 668 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:35,039 - This has to stop. - What? 669 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:37,039 You can't punish Fuzz. 670 00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:38,879 - Oh, I can't punish Fuzz? - No. 671 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,399 On what basis would I not want to punish Fuzz? 672 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:42,839 Compassion. 673 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:44,559 (LAUGHS) Compassion? 674 00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,119 Come on, come on, I showed you compassion, haven't I, 675 00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:50,319 over the last years or so when you've needed it. 676 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:51,679 - Cleave. - Yeah. 677 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,519 I don't know if compassion has really been the mixer 678 00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:56,559 in the cocktail of our relationship. 679 00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:59,399 You cannot freeze his US assets. 680 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,639 That would be a disaster for him, for you, for Winnie. 681 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:04,959 I mean, that would put her in a very vulnerable situation. 682 00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,239 Freeze his US assets? I didn't even think of that. 683 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,239 Well, good, because that's a terrible idea. 684 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,839 That would give me a lot of bargaining power. 685 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:15,479 Just let's turn the heat down. 686 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:17,799 And now that he's a resident of California, 687 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,599 well, the courts are very sympathetic to abandoned mothers. 688 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:24,719 Come on! This is the father of your beautiful daughter. 689 00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:26,359 Where's your humanity? 690 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,520 How much do you need from him? 691 00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:31,200 90. 692 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:34,599 Quickly. 693 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,159 Look, Cleave, I don't want to hurt him badly, 694 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,879 but I think its only fair that he feels some pain, 695 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:43,279 and I've already spoken to a hotshot lawyer in San Francisco. 696 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:45,159 Oh, see, that's a terrible... that's terrible... 697 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:48,359 You don't need some smart-arse, frisking prick coming in here, 698 00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,399 and stealing 40% of your income. 699 00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:51,839 It's a terrible idea. 700 00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:54,079 We're family, we sort this shit out tonight. 701 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:55,519 Come on! 702 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:58,839 What... what sort of a split are you after? 703 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,159 70/30 his way, current and future assets, 704 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,599 and four grand a week maintenance. 705 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,879 That's for rent, clothing, schooling, holidays, 706 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,079 everything Winnie needs until she's 18. 707 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,060 OK. I can't make any promises. 708 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:14,879 50/50's what she's after, mate. 709 00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:18,799 50/50 on the assets, 10 grand for Winnie until she's 25. 710 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,479 - 10 fucking grand! - That's where we are. 711 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:22,319 Are you...? This is fucking bullshit. 712 00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:24,119 - That's where she is, mate. - There's nothing I can do. 713 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:25,759 I can do better in California. 714 00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:28,239 I'll get a fucking team of lawyers, a fucking division of them. 715 00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,679 - You think you could. - And she'll fucking pay me. 716 00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:32,559 - No, no, don't talk like that. - Fuck! 717 00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:35,839 Listen, there's a chance it's just a opening gambit, alright? 718 00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,319 Oh, mate, I'm finding this too stressful. 719 00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:39,357 Yes, I can see that. 720 00:33:39,358 --> 00:33:41,919 - If you can sort this out tonight... - Mm? 721 00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:44,079 ...then I will look after you. 722 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:45,759 Yeah. 723 00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:47,039 OK. 724 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:50,559 Well, that's very kind, thank you. 725 00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,759 OK, well, what about we say 726 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:58,199 something like 70/30 your way on the assets. 727 00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:01,079 - Yep. - Something like... (MUTTERS) 728 00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:05,999 ...four grand for Winnie a week until she finishes school. 729 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:09,319 - OK. - Yeah, mate, if you can do that. 730 00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:12,439 - I'll try, I'll... No promises. - Oh, fuck. 731 00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:17,039 OK, he has reluctantly accepted your terms. 732 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,519 I have prepared a short form memorandum of understanding. 733 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:22,959 Both copies are in with Fuzz as we speak. 734 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:24,519 You should sign them tonight 735 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:28,439 and I can get it into the proper legal sewer on your behalf, OK? 736 00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:32,599 So, I will be needing my 90 grand, pretty much tomorrow, 737 00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:38,639 and I would appreciate you backing me up on that as a term of the MOU. 738 00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:40,440 Alright. 739 00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:42,600 Good. 740 00:34:42,601 --> 00:34:44,440 (CHUCKLES) 741 00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:01,040 Hey, what's going on? 742 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:06,079 Oh, just putting out another one of life's little spot fires. 743 00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:07,599 You're welcome. 744 00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,919 ? Terry is a monkey and he's very funky ? 745 00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:12,639 ? Bopping in a tree... ? 746 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:15,959 Does he have to parade around like a sex pest? 747 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:18,599 Can we get him a full-length dress, do you think? 748 00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:21,599 ? Bananas, bananas Let's go bananas... ? 749 00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:23,639 Mate, nobody's laughing. 750 00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:25,159 ? You and me... ? 751 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:27,239 (GROANING) What's that? 752 00:35:27,240 --> 00:35:29,200 Is that Fuzz and Missy? 753 00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:34,719 - What did you say to them? - What are they doing? 754 00:35:34,720 --> 00:35:36,360 What are they doing? 755 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:41,399 - Fuck off, Cleave. - Oh, are you done? 756 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,559 (MISSY GROANS) 757 00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:45,519 (FUZZ GROANS) 758 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,279 Oh, come on, that's dis... 759 00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:49,959 It's not... it's not a barn, you know. 760 00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:52,080 MISSY: Come! 761 00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:58,959 Oh, that's hilarious. 762 00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,719 - (LAUGHS) - Oh, that's great, guys. 763 00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:03,719 Oh, I'm cacking myself. 764 00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:06,159 Great. Really fun. 765 00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:07,639 Where are my memoranda of understanding? 766 00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:09,119 - Why? - Because... 767 00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:10,679 Because it's your way of getting 90 grand? 768 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:13,159 No, but there was more to it than that. 769 00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,279 Well, what was it, Cleave, because we don't want to sign it. 770 00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,879 We think that we can come to an agreement on our own terms, 771 00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:19,758 in our own time, if we even have to. 772 00:36:19,759 --> 00:36:23,199 We had a perfectly good, functioning divorce going 773 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:27,839 and you two have just treated it with complete contempt. 774 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,919 Also, I never asked for a 50/50 split, Cleave. 775 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:34,879 It was a negotiation, guys. Neither of you is a lawyer. 776 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,479 - You were trying to shake us down. - That is... 777 00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,639 I wasn't asking for a gift from you, 778 00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:43,999 I was trying to get a loan, OK? 779 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,279 From my own flesh and blood. 780 00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,359 - A loan to you is a gift, Cleave. - Oh, too much to ask! 781 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:50,440 Wow. 782 00:36:50,441 --> 00:36:52,639 Well, that's just lovely, 783 00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:57,719 And I'm glad you're both having a good laugh and you're all so happy. 784 00:36:57,720 --> 00:37:01,600 Well, one thing's for sure, you can say goodbye to this. 785 00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:08,919 Cleave, this isn't about you. 786 00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,519 Yes, it is. What do you mean, it's about me? 787 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:13,799 It's as much about me as it is about you. 788 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:15,399 You just think it's not about me 789 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,439 because you think it's just about you. 790 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:18,759 Stop it. 791 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,199 So, what, are you going to get married or something? 792 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:24,279 Yeah, we're going to have a big white wedding, 793 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,319 and we're going to have roses strewn down the aisle 794 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:30,799 and John Paul Young is hopefully going to sing Love is in the Air, 795 00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:33,799 and there's going to be tulle everywhere, especially on the men! 796 00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,240 Fine, so that's a no. 797 00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,959 He is your son. 798 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,040 Mm? 799 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:46,359 But I am happy, though. 800 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:50,399 - Really. - Yeah, scarily so. 801 00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:54,399 Well, good, because you deserve to be. 802 00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:56,720 Yeah, I know I do. 803 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,999 - Checkmate. - What, no? 804 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,120 - Mm. - No! 805 00:38:13,121 --> 00:38:16,159 - Oh. - What, that's, what, six moves? 806 00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:18,280 (LAUGHS) 807 00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:20,999 I'm very good at this game. 808 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,519 Yeah, well, three games in 20 minutes, I can tell. 809 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:24,646 Mm. 810 00:38:24,647 --> 00:38:26,999 On our second date I played with Cleaver 811 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,719 and, um, I thrashed him so badly 812 00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:30,959 that he refused to ever play me again. 813 00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:33,000 Why does that not surprise me? 814 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:36,159 Do you want to play Scrabble? Well, that depends. 815 00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:37,839 How good are you at Scrabble? 816 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:39,679 I'm even better at Scrabble than I am at chess. 817 00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,119 - Really? - Especially if it's dirty Scrabble. 818 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:43,439 Ah. 819 00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:45,119 - Mm. - You want to play dirty Scrabble? 820 00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:48,039 Oh, my God, if I get a F and a K and I play it on triple word, 821 00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:49,680 you are gone. 822 00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:54,760 So, um, does that mean maybe tonight we will... 823 00:38:58,240 --> 00:39:01,639 It's been so nice kissing and fooling around, 824 00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:04,479 and... you know, 825 00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:06,519 but we're not going to be a couple, David. 826 00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:07,840 You know that. 827 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,199 Yeah. 828 00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,719 It's just I've been looking after other people my whole life, 829 00:39:13,720 --> 00:39:15,319 you know, I do it for a living, 830 00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:19,599 and I... I really need to look after myself. 831 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,199 And I can only do that on my own. 832 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:25,279 And I know, I know that there is someone out there for you 833 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,119 and she will be amazing. 834 00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:30,879 And she will come out of nowhere and she won't be a politician 835 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,999 or a therapist or a call girl 836 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,959 or a, you know, lawyer. 837 00:39:37,299 --> 00:39:39,659 She'll just be meant for you. 838 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:43,399 And sincerely, my wish for you 839 00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:45,340 is that you can just surrender to your life 840 00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,160 and fuck off the instruction manual. 841 00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:54,320 Well, me too. 842 00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:02,159 Evening. 843 00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:03,320 (GRUNTS) 844 00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,799 A couple of things... Before you start. 845 00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:09,839 Just let me tell you this. 846 00:40:10,340 --> 00:40:14,559 You are an idiot for losing that woman. 847 00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:16,279 - Do you know that? - Oh. 848 00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:17,919 Oh, is that right, mate. Oh, well, thanks... 849 00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:18,920 That's right. 850 00:40:18,921 --> 00:40:21,199 Oh, thanks for helping me out with that. That's great. 851 00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:23,479 Here's a couple of things for you, OK? 852 00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:27,199 If you're gonna be spending any length of time in this house, 853 00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:31,079 I would appreciate it if you didn't do it in Wendy's nighties, OK? 854 00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:35,279 'Cause I find that a little offensive to mine eye, if you understand. 855 00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:36,799 Exactly why did you give her up? 856 00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,719 Mate, that's my business. 857 00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:40,599 - Was it for fun? - I'm a free spirit. 858 00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,319 - You wouldn't understand... - You know what? 859 00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,319 - Such a fuckin' old... - Free spirit! 860 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:45,719 - Do you know what? - I'm like Bowie... 861 00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:47,759 - If that is being you... - ..or Marley... 862 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:50,038 ...I don't want to be you. 863 00:40:50,039 --> 00:40:54,279 Mate, you couldn't be me if your fuckin' life depended on it. 864 00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,079 - Look at you! - Look at me? 865 00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:57,799 And then look at me, alright? 866 00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:00,559 That's why you couldn't be me Is that right? 867 00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:03,279 Yeah, regrettably, you are you. 868 00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:04,599 Do you know what you are? 869 00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:07,399 - You're a dirty ibis. - You are a human turd. 870 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,400 Mate, you're a fuckin' turd. 871 00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:13,479 (GRUNTS) Get out of here! 872 00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:15,199 Oh, mate, I've got a lot of this! 873 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:16,439 I've got a lot of this. 874 00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:18,239 You certainly do have a lot. 875 00:41:18,240 --> 00:41:19,240 - Turd! Turd! - Turd! 876 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:26,399 (GROANS) 877 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,199 Are they really that delicate? 878 00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:31,599 Are you fucking... kidding me? 879 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:34,319 Oh... oh... 880 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,439 Oh, God. 881 00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:39,199 You know, I really need a drink. 882 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:42,880 Oh, see, now you really sound like me. 883 00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:51,119 So, new Parliament House, 884 00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:54,898 by which I mean the former Parliament House... 885 00:41:54,899 --> 00:41:56,144 What? 886 00:41:56,145 --> 00:42:00,041 You're on the committee of inquiry, aren't you? 887 00:42:00,042 --> 00:42:01,400 Yes, yeah. 888 00:42:01,401 --> 00:42:03,359 How they gained access, whatever shit they used, 889 00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,079 but, you know, the science isn't easy, so... 890 00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:09,342 See, I think shit might be the operative word. 891 00:42:09,343 --> 00:42:10,561 What do you mean? 892 00:42:10,562 --> 00:42:15,759 Well, I have a feeling the whole thing might have been about poo. 893 00:42:16,500 --> 00:42:17,719 Poo? 894 00:42:18,260 --> 00:42:19,599 Poo. 895 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:20,676 Why do you say that? 896 00:42:20,677 --> 00:42:24,879 Well, you know those two plumbers who died? 897 00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:26,639 - The ones who drowned? - Mm. 898 00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:30,719 They came to my place a while back and they did a bit of work, 899 00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:33,359 and they were interesting guys and we got to talking. 900 00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:37,839 And they were sent in under the tarp, 901 00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,119 and then a short time later... 902 00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:42,119 (CLICKS TONGUE) 903 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:43,719 Why have you sat on this? 904 00:42:43,720 --> 00:42:46,479 Well, because they're dead now, 905 00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:50,119 which puts us in a very tricky position in terms of evidence, 906 00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:53,279 and because it's me and nobody's going to believe me. 907 00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:54,599 That's true. 908 00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:57,439 And if I'm right, I don't want to fuck it up. 909 00:42:57,440 --> 00:42:59,759 But that's where you come in. 910 00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:04,079 So, your theory is that this was basically sloppy maintenance 911 00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:08,400 made to look like a terrorist attack for political purposes? 912 00:43:09,720 --> 00:43:12,000 - That's the theory. - Christ. 913 00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:16,199 My committee doesn't sit for another month. 914 00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:17,999 Even then, without witnesses... 915 00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:19,999 I mean, we're talking about two, 916 00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,439 possibly three prime ministers lying. 917 00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:23,679 Mm-hm. 918 00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:25,679 - Well, how do we get it out there? - Here's the thing. 919 00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:29,039 I was thinking my creche case. 920 00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:32,519 - What's the relevance? - Mate, it's me. 921 00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:34,080 Huh? 922 00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:37,559 - You representing yourself? - Yes. 923 00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:40,919 But I'm going to need your backup. 924 00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:42,199 OK? 925 00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:46,119 And I'd sort out a reliable old enemy 926 00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:49,000 to represent Nicole and her mum. 927 00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:57,319 We are all children of someone, are we not? Of lesser or greater gods. 928 00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:59,119 As seven-year-olds, 929 00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:03,319 we all looked upon our futures assuming a rosy disposition. 930 00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:06,720 Why should life turn grey and thorny? 931 00:44:08,240 --> 00:44:13,600 One of the beauties of life is understanding myriad pricks... 932 00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,799 ...maintain a majestic pink rose... 933 00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:20,839 Miss Huntley-Brown, is there a point 934 00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:23,039 that your argument is searching for? 935 00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,439 Well, with the greatest respect, Your Honour, 936 00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:29,439 there is a question of context, which I'm sure you would appreciate. 937 00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:31,205 Not quite yet, no. 938 00:44:31,206 --> 00:44:32,233 Really? 939 00:44:32,234 --> 00:44:35,199 The concept of governments hiding the truth 940 00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:38,559 is as ancient as the concept of government itself. 941 00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:44,279 Your Honour, a shabby blue tarpaulin has shrouded our national parliament 942 00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:45,999 for some months, 943 00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:49,079 and that is not just a metaphor, that is a deceit. 944 00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:50,160 Miss Huntley-Brown, 945 00:44:50,161 --> 00:44:54,879 what has that got to do with a case about the misuse of public funds 946 00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:56,840 regarding an office in Sydney? 947 00:44:58,000 --> 00:44:59,919 I will see counsel in my chambers. 948 00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:01,040 All rise. 949 00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:04,639 What the fuck is going on, Hunter? 950 00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:06,759 I'll tell you what's going on. 951 00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:09,399 There's a giant blue condom hanging over our parliament. 952 00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:12,039 Forgive me, but I can't see the connection. 953 00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:14,519 If something horrible is happening to Parliament House, 954 00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:16,999 and it clearly is, that is deeply regrettable. 955 00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:20,199 But what has it got to do with this case? 956 00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:23,519 Reggie, the government is trying to cover up its own negligence. 957 00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:25,319 Their efforts to silence 958 00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:29,199 Senator Greene and Senator Potter's committee of inquiry and their staff 959 00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:30,879 is beyond sinister. 960 00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:35,359 The dead plumbers, do you really believe that was an accident? 961 00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:36,600 What?! 962 00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:41,919 I don't know how to express myself more clearly. 963 00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:46,239 I do not want this argument going on! 964 00:45:46,240 --> 00:45:48,760 It is irrelevant! 965 00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:52,520 I'm going to have to excuse myself. 966 00:46:00,286 --> 00:46:01,886 Very nice. 967 00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:10,120 - Ah, Your Honour. - Senator. 968 00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:16,879 - Oh, Senator. - Senator Potter. 969 00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:18,400 Your Honour. 970 00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:23,239 The passing of the Chief Justice is a great blow to us all. 971 00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:25,119 Indeed. 972 00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,999 I'm not sure if you're aware, Your Honour, 973 00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:29,959 that Senator Potter here is a member 974 00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:31,959 of the Senate Judicial Advisory Committee 975 00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:34,359 with the responsibility of advising the Attorney-General 976 00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:37,639 and, er, judicial appointments. 977 00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:41,039 You went to university with the Attorney, didn't you? 978 00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:43,079 Well, I certainly did. 979 00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:45,479 Well, just out of curiosity, has the, er... 980 00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:48,119 Has the Attorney indicated any replacement 981 00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:49,759 for the late Chief Justice? 982 00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:53,599 Ah... no. But there is a short list. 983 00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:54,600 Um... 984 00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:57,799 Changing the subject completely, 985 00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:02,199 I've prepared what might be described as an amicus brief... 986 00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:03,799 for Senator Greene. 987 00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:07,679 Background information that were he allowed to tender 988 00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:11,440 might prove useful in these proceedings. 989 00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:13,880 I see. 990 00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:16,600 Right. 991 00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:20,822 And what about the matter of relevance? 992 00:47:20,823 --> 00:47:22,056 How do I deal with that? 993 00:47:22,057 --> 00:47:24,223 Oh, well, look, Your Honour, 994 00:47:24,224 --> 00:47:27,599 in the unlikely event it should prove irrelevant, 995 00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:31,039 you could always instruct the jury to disregard it. 996 00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:32,999 Yeah, yeah, I could do that. 997 00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,399 In the interests of justice. 998 00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:36,759 Oh... 999 00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,200 - Your Honour. - Your Honour. 1000 00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:44,799 Your Honour, the attempts by this government 1001 00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:47,519 to silence me and my staff 1002 00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:51,519 have reached... such an egregious level, 1003 00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:54,439 that they now want to lock us up for looking after children. 1004 00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:58,159 That is what government has become in this country. 1005 00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:02,279 If your enemies won't shut up, lock them up for pastoral care. 1006 00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:06,999 Quite frankly, Your Honour, after repeated attempts on my life... 1007 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:09,719 ...I feel quite lucky to be standing here. 1008 00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:11,919 Objection, Your Honour! 1009 00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:15,280 This is entirely irrelevant. 1010 00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:21,240 Overruled. 1011 00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:24,760 You may continue, Senator Greene. 1012 00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:31,239 Thank you, Your Honour. 1013 00:48:31,240 --> 00:48:37,839 Your Honour, there was no terrorist attack on Parliament House. 1014 00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:40,919 It was quite simply a matter of poor plumbing. 1015 00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:43,039 Holy fucking camole! 1016 00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:44,599 See, I told you he'd get it in. 1017 00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:46,359 We have to shut this troll down. 1018 00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:48,239 Get the DPP to end it. 1019 00:48:48,240 --> 00:48:49,241 On what grounds? 1020 00:48:49,242 --> 00:48:51,079 On whatever grounds you can come up with. 1021 00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:52,999 Martians have invaded. I don't give a shit. 1022 00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:54,439 That's why he's got the job. 1023 00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:57,280 - If he wants the job... - And the serious option? 1024 00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:02,039 Can we risk it? 1025 00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:03,599 Two plumbers are already dead. 1026 00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:04,824 Well, that had nothing to do with me. 1027 00:49:04,825 --> 00:49:08,239 - You knew about it. - We need to implode Parliament House. 1028 00:49:08,240 --> 00:49:10,800 Implode? What?! 1029 00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:13,479 Not on my watch. 1030 00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:17,159 Cal, at some point, the tarp is going to have to come off, 1031 00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:20,799 and some scientists that have been stripped of government funding 1032 00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:22,919 are going to go in there and quickly discover 1033 00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:24,599 there was no act of terrorism, 1034 00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:26,279 just some dodgy fucking plumbing. 1035 00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:30,359 So we say that in order to preserve the water table... 1036 00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:32,239 No, we say... 1037 00:49:32,240 --> 00:49:35,479 ...in order to preserve the city of Canberra, 1038 00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:38,559 that that Parliament House, built under Labor's watch, 1039 00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:40,279 is so toxic because of the terrorists, 1040 00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:42,319 it has to come down. 1041 00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:45,239 And we get to build a new one. 1042 00:49:45,240 --> 00:49:47,079 Thousands of jobs. 1043 00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:48,440 Ta-da! 1044 00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:51,640 I get to save Canberra. 1045 00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:55,119 And build a new parliament. 1046 00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:57,679 Yes, Prime Minister, you do. 1047 00:49:57,680 --> 00:49:59,839 Well, what about Greene. What about Potter? 1048 00:49:59,840 --> 00:50:01,079 How do we shut them up? 1049 00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:02,799 Potter'll shut up if we up the refugee budget 1050 00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:04,919 by, say, I don't know, 200 million. 1051 00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:06,680 200 mill? Christ! 1052 00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:11,079 Yeah, OK, OK, we can do that. 1053 00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:12,760 Greene? 1054 00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:16,000 We're not thinking... 1055 00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:18,599 How can we? 1056 00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:22,479 I mean, will any of us ever know sleep again if we do such a thing? 1057 00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:24,320 It's either that... 1058 00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:27,520 ...or we have to kill him. 1059 00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:38,559 JAKUB: Please, allow me. 1060 00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:40,360 Oh... 1061 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,600 Ah. 1062 00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:50,519 Ah, thank you, mate. 1063 00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:52,599 - (THUD!) - Orgh! 1064 00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:53,839 God! 1065 00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:56,719 Oh, mate! Why did you...? 1066 00:50:56,720 --> 00:50:59,359 Mate, I gave you 100 grand from under my mattress. 1067 00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:01,159 Well, there's still another 80. 1068 00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:03,559 This will buy us more time with my people. 1069 00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:05,200 I've got bandages. 1070 00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:09,240 Hey. 1071 00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:12,559 - Hi. - Um... 1072 00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:14,839 I've got you a present. 1073 00:51:15,180 --> 00:51:16,600 Oh. 1074 00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:20,120 Oh, wow. 1075 00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:27,579 - Oh, it's beautiful. - Oh, good. 1076 00:51:27,580 --> 00:51:30,319 Um, I, um... 1077 00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:32,599 I just, um... you know, 1078 00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:37,479 it was really important to me that I acknowledge your resilience, 1079 00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:38,799 you know, 1080 00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:41,400 and your tenacity, and... 1081 00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:45,079 ...and our long complicated history together. 1082 00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:46,719 And it is history, you know. 1083 00:51:46,720 --> 00:51:48,279 And... 1084 00:51:48,820 --> 00:51:51,760 Oh, God, I haven't done this for so long. Um... 1085 00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:55,239 But I loved you very much, you know, 1086 00:51:55,240 --> 00:51:59,559 and we made a beautiful, complicated young man together, 1087 00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:01,000 and... 1088 00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:04,679 ...I just really want you to know that, despite all the nonsense, 1089 00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:06,240 I don't regret a minute of it. 1090 00:52:08,266 --> 00:52:10,386 It just looks... That looks terrible. 1091 00:52:11,406 --> 00:52:13,406 No, it's beautiful. 1092 00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:34,080 Hey. 1093 00:52:36,240 --> 00:52:38,959 Hey. (CLUCKS TONGUE) 1094 00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:40,799 G'day, mate. 1095 00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:42,159 - Hello, puss. - (MIAOWS) 1096 00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:43,440 Oh! 1097 00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:48,480 Hello, mate. 1098 00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:53,360 Princess! (LAUGHS) 1099 00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:55,879 How?! 1100 00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:58,439 See, I've been getting up early, mate, 1101 00:52:58,440 --> 00:52:59,719 and going searching 1102 00:52:59,720 --> 00:53:02,079 and she just ran straight into my arms. 1103 00:53:02,080 --> 00:53:03,840 I mean, she loves me. 1104 00:53:04,753 --> 00:53:06,879 You have a cuddle. I'll drive. 1105 00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,599 No, no, no, I'll drive. 1106 00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:11,439 Oh, no. Well, I... 1107 00:53:11,440 --> 00:53:12,839 Happy to drive... 1108 00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:14,760 Hap... (SNEEZES) 1109 00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,039 Oh, mate. 1110 00:53:25,040 --> 00:53:26,679 Hey, Cleaver. 1111 00:53:27,006 --> 00:53:28,566 I'm thinking... 1112 00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:32,919 ...don't worry about the remaining 80 grand. 1113 00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:34,280 It's forgiven. 1114 00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:39,439 All I really wanted was to have my Princess back. 1115 00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:40,919 Great. 1116 00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:42,640 Thanks, mate. Good on you. 1117 00:53:47,153 --> 00:53:50,952 I, Cleaver Augustus Greene 1118 00:53:51,080 --> 00:53:54,799 do swear allegiance to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, 1119 00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:57,919 her heirs and successors, according to law, 1120 00:53:58,420 --> 00:54:02,679 that I will well and truly serve her and her successors 1121 00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:06,919 in the office of Chief Justice of the High Court of Australia, 1122 00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:10,719 and that I will do right to all manner of people according to law, 1123 00:54:10,720 --> 00:54:13,919 without fear or favour, 1124 00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:17,279 affection or ill will, 1125 00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:19,480 so help me God. 1126 00:54:23,720 --> 00:54:28,919 It's against the law to finger the Chief Justice's robes in this way. 1127 00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:31,239 - It's man-made, isn't it? - Hands off, OK? 1128 00:54:31,240 --> 00:54:33,199 - Hey. - Ah, yes. 1129 00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:36,879 Mmm. Jesus Christ on a bicycle. 1130 00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:39,559 Yes, isn't he just? 1131 00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:41,920 - There we go then. - Yes. 1132 00:54:43,086 --> 00:54:45,605 Congratulations, Cleaver. Oh, well, thank you, mate. 1133 00:54:45,630 --> 00:54:48,669 You know I own your arse now. 1134 00:54:48,900 --> 00:54:53,479 Oh, Cal, you've always been a shit lawyer, haven't you? 1135 00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:58,240 Because I'm Chief Justice, so I own YOUR arse. 1136 00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:17,599 (SNEEZES) 1137 00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:21,600 So, uh, what's on the agenda today, Jakub? 1138 00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:25,599 Well, you have this case, Button and Dean. 1139 00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:28,359 - I could walk you through it. - Is it a yes or a no? 1140 00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:30,160 Definitely a no. 1141 00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:33,639 Then there's one involving my union 1142 00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:36,639 and whether we have over-exercised our rights 1143 00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:39,159 in terms of subcontracting. 1144 00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:41,559 That's a no as well, I take it. 1145 00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:44,479 In terms of equity, yes, Mr Chief Justice. 1146 00:55:44,480 --> 00:55:46,280 But you're the judge. 1147 00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:57,840 (EXPLOSION) 1148 00:56:08,936 --> 00:56:11,780 _ 1149 00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,359 - Feel like a dip? - OK, darling. 1150 00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:24,760 Mmm. 1151 00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:37,280 Madame. 1152 00:56:56,920 --> 00:56:58,639 - Oh, God! - Are you OK? 1153 00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:01,599 (SHOUTS) 1154 00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:03,599 Um, it's... Oh, hey? 1155 00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:04,879 Get them off me! 1156 00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:07,359 Can we get a little bit of help over here? 1157 00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:10,519 The Chief Justice of Australia, just so you know! 1158 00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:11,959 They're not coming off! 1159 00:57:11,960 --> 00:57:14,159 Oh, my God, well, can you just shake your face? 1160 00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:16,319 What, shut your face? Why? 1161 00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:17,919 Just shake your face. 1162 00:57:17,920 --> 00:57:19,239 Oh, my God! 1163 00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:21,479 There's one almost in your ear. 1164 00:57:21,480 --> 00:57:22,880 Oh, God! 1165 00:57:22,930 --> 00:57:27,480 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 87576