Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,900 --> 00:00:06,300
Cleaver!
2
00:00:09,660 --> 00:00:10,780
Ed?
3
00:00:10,980 --> 00:00:14,180
To Scarlet, the first
great love of my life.
4
00:00:14,380 --> 00:00:18,060
I only hope that David
will treat you well.
5
00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:19,980
Rake!
6
00:00:20,180 --> 00:00:24,220
As you know, Mr Thompson is
wanted on 126 separate charges,
7
00:00:24,420 --> 00:00:27,380
ranging form murder to drug
dealing, weapons smuggling,
8
00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:29,860
extortion and bribing public officials.
9
00:00:32,060 --> 00:00:35,140
Everything on that phone went
viral, except any mention of me.
10
00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:37,100
I need you to get me bail, Cleaver.
11
00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:40,940
Probably fairly brief life
behind bars if I don't cooperate
12
00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:43,140
and certain death if I do.
13
00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:44,780
"The night is shattered
14
00:00:44,980 --> 00:00:48,220
"The blue stars shiver in the distance..."
15
00:00:48,380 --> 00:00:49,620
Oh, shit.
16
00:00:49,820 --> 00:00:51,620
- Drive!
- Where?
17
00:00:51,780 --> 00:00:53,620
Just drive! Drive, drive.
18
00:01:35,980 --> 00:01:40,380
Now thank we all our God
19
00:01:40,540 --> 00:01:46,620
With hearts and hands and voices
20
00:01:46,780 --> 00:01:51,780
Who wondrous things hath done
21
00:01:51,940 --> 00:01:57,540
In whom His world rejoices
22
00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:02,220
Who from our mothers' arms
23
00:02:02,380 --> 00:02:06,740
Hath blest us on our way...
24
00:02:06,940 --> 00:02:09,500
I know one of them's... one of
them's all the wet, isn't it?
25
00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:10,540
Yes, that's right.
26
00:02:10,740 --> 00:02:12,100
The other one's this
one, whatever that is.
27
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:15,380
- Lovely sermon, Stanley.
- Oh, thank you Lorraine.
28
00:02:15,540 --> 00:02:17,140
Murray, how are you?
29
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:19,220
Oh, tickety-boo, thanks, Lorraine.
30
00:02:19,420 --> 00:02:21,420
How's the book coming along, Murray?
31
00:02:21,580 --> 00:02:22,420
Oh well it's...
32
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:25,300
You know, some days are
more productive than others,
33
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:28,900
but that's... that's the
life of a writer, Charles.
34
00:02:29,060 --> 00:02:31,500
I heard it was a murder mystery.
35
00:02:31,660 --> 00:02:33,900
Ooh, I love a good murder mystery.
36
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:35,420
You were a lawyer, weren't you, Murray?
37
00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:39,860
Oh, well, I was a garden
variety suburban conveyancer.
38
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,900
There's not much murder
around in my field.
39
00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:45,700
Look, my sister's selling a place.
She's looking for a solicitor.
40
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:49,140
- Maybe I could mention you...
- Very kind, Stan, but I'm...
41
00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:53,220
I'm actually really trying to
focus on the book at the moment.
42
00:02:53,380 --> 00:02:56,660
I've got to be very mono-focus.
43
00:02:56,860 --> 00:02:59,740
Oh, a very serious matter, writing a book.
44
00:02:59,900 --> 00:03:01,260
Bye-bye, Murray!
45
00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:04,260
Cheerio, Doreen!
46
00:03:12,380 --> 00:03:13,820
Hello, Murray.
47
00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:17,020
Good morning, Sylvia.
48
00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:47,700
Fuck me.
49
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:08,740
She's gorgeous!
50
00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:10,300
Check this one out.
51
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,780
Not that one, not that one,
not that one, not that one.
52
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,660
How pretty is she in that bonnet?
53
00:05:16,860 --> 00:05:18,300
How old is she now, Tons?
54
00:05:18,460 --> 00:05:20,500
Four weeks. She's a good girl.
55
00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:23,220
She gets a little yappy at night, but.
56
00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:25,900
And that dick Brian from across
the road starts going spastic.
57
00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:27,180
Yeah, Brian's an arsehole.
58
00:05:27,380 --> 00:05:29,940
So then I bring her inside and Denis
says he doesn't want her on the bed.
59
00:05:30,140 --> 00:05:32,340
The bugger didn't really want a
dog in the first place, you know.
60
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:35,500
So I said to him, "Until Kimmy
can sleep with both of us,
61
00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:37,060
"you're not gettin' any, pal."
62
00:05:37,260 --> 00:05:39,860
Next night, Kimmy's up on the bed
with us, watching Miss Fisher.
63
00:05:44,020 --> 00:05:46,780
What a story! It's got everything.
64
00:05:46,940 --> 00:05:49,900
It's the feelgood story of our time.
65
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:54,500
And the ending, when the three
of you are on the bed together...
66
00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:56,260
.. it's...
67
00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:59,260
And what's amazing is even though
68
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:03,620
I've only been waiting here for 10
minutes, it feels like two hours,
69
00:06:03,820 --> 00:06:05,740
and that's the magic of your storytelling.
70
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:07,300
That's your great gift.
71
00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:08,940
Every time you open your mouth,
72
00:06:09,140 --> 00:06:13,460
it feels like time expands, infinitely.
73
00:06:13,660 --> 00:06:16,060
And it makes me think of
Denis and how lucky he is,
74
00:06:16,260 --> 00:06:18,460
because after 15 years of marriage to you
75
00:06:18,660 --> 00:06:22,580
he must feel like he
has lived for centuries!
76
00:06:22,780 --> 00:06:27,140
He must feel like he
has been alive forever!
77
00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:32,100
- Mustn't keep you, Janey.
- That's 42.50, thanks, Tons.
78
00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:34,020
Where's my wallet?
79
00:06:34,180 --> 00:06:36,100
Hope I'm not keeping you, Murray.
80
00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:39,900
Time is infinite and cares
are short-lived, Tonia.
81
00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:42,100
Oh, how lovely.
82
00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:46,900
Oh.
83
00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:01,820
Darling, you home?
84
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:16,100
Fuzz?
85
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:23,860
Who's there?
86
00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:28,340
Who's there?
87
00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:44,220
Oh, anything but this.
88
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,260
Come on, you bastards.
89
00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,380
.. with pedigree ram semen...
90
00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:52,740
Or that!
91
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:55,380
The Bundina River is expected
to peak at six metres
92
00:07:55,580 --> 00:07:58,020
following the heavy rain
right up until Friday.
93
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:04,460
Oh, you sonofabitch!
94
00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:06,260
It was a very moving piece.
95
00:08:06,460 --> 00:08:09,100
So, Rose, who's on
Australian Story tonight?
96
00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:12,660
Tonight, Mack, we are telling
the story of Barney Meagher.
97
00:08:12,820 --> 00:08:14,260
Ah, the balloon hero.
98
00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:16,220
There's an epic journey
if ever there was one.
99
00:08:16,380 --> 00:08:17,860
It's extremely heart-warming.
100
00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:22,180
Barney Meagher found courage on a
day he never expected to find it.
101
00:08:22,380 --> 00:08:25,060
It's amazing the way
ordinary people find courage.
102
00:08:25,260 --> 00:08:28,860
Yes, Mack, it is a truly
fascinating story.
103
00:08:29,060 --> 00:08:30,460
I don't want to spoil the...
104
00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:31,820
Oh, come on!
105
00:08:33,460 --> 00:08:34,740
Fuck.
106
00:08:34,940 --> 00:08:37,340
Come on, you... Come
on, you fucking fucker!
107
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:40,140
You monumental cock!
108
00:08:50,420 --> 00:08:52,060
Oh, yes!
109
00:08:52,220 --> 00:08:54,180
Oh, yeah, you don't like that, do ya?
110
00:08:54,340 --> 00:08:56,820
Oh, yeah, you bastard!
111
00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:58,460
Oh, shit.
112
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:04,100
Oh, shit.
113
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:05,620
- Doc?
- Hey.
114
00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:08,820
Hello? Doc... Doc, don't hang up.
115
00:09:09,020 --> 00:09:10,820
- Don't hang up! I got ya.
- Hello?
116
00:09:10,980 --> 00:09:12,300
I got ya.
117
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,460
Don't hang...
118
00:09:16,340 --> 00:09:18,180
Don't hang up. Hello?
119
00:09:18,380 --> 00:09:21,180
- Hello?
- Hello, hello!
120
00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:22,380
Yes? Yes?
121
00:09:22,540 --> 00:09:24,380
Hi. Murray, how are you?
122
00:09:24,580 --> 00:09:28,220
Yes, I am officially
going fucking stir crazy.
123
00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:30,580
I just committed radiocide.
124
00:09:30,740 --> 00:09:32,060
What's up?
125
00:09:32,260 --> 00:09:33,980
- We had another break-in.
- Oh, God.
126
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,700
Did they leave another note?
127
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:38,420
No, I think it was just Ed's way
of saying, "I'm thinking of you."
128
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:42,460
But there was another lawyer
found hanging in an attic.
129
00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:43,940
Fuck!
130
00:09:44,140 --> 00:09:45,940
OK, Wendy, can you just
get yourself in a car
131
00:09:46,140 --> 00:09:49,900
and put Fuzz in the boot if need be
and come up here until it blows over?
132
00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:51,380
Cleave... Sorry, Murray,
133
00:09:51,580 --> 00:09:53,500
if they wanted to do something
to us they would have by now.
134
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:54,540
It's been four months.
135
00:09:54,740 --> 00:09:57,540
Yeah, well, I think that's
because Ed always fancied you.
136
00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:59,100
In fact, I know he did.
137
00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:00,220
Hey, did you know that Barney's
138
00:10:00,420 --> 00:10:01,700
going to be on Australian Story tonight?
139
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,900
- Yeah, I heard.
- Have you been in touch with him?
140
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:05,820
Yeah, well once or twice.
141
00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:08,500
I mean, fuck, I'll go mental otherwise.
142
00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:09,820
I only get to speak to you once a week.
143
00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:12,820
OK. Can you tell me that you
haven't done something stupid?
144
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,660
I mean, have you...
145
00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:16,980
.. have you done or said anything
that Cleaver would do or say?
146
00:10:17,140 --> 00:10:18,860
No. And it's doing my head in.
147
00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:23,340
I can't ignore my every
natural instinct much longer.
148
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,180
Are you sure the cops are still a no go?
149
00:10:25,340 --> 00:10:26,220
Yes, I'm sure!
150
00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:28,460
It might as well be Ed's private army.
151
00:10:29,780 --> 00:10:31,380
- Doc?
- Hello?
152
00:10:31,540 --> 00:10:32,660
Doc?
153
00:10:32,820 --> 00:10:33,780
Hello?
154
00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:38,700
Fuck! Oh, Doc! Oh, you piece of fucking...
155
00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:40,820
I'm not here to defend Edgar Thompson.
156
00:10:40,980 --> 00:10:42,740
Last thing I want to do.
157
00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:46,700
But I am here to defend
justice, and it's too little...
158
00:10:52,940 --> 00:10:54,140
It's just too little.
159
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:56,020
I'm Cal McGregor
160
00:10:56,220 --> 00:11:00,620
and it's, uh... and it's time to
cross to Scotty for a sports update.
161
00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:01,980
And we're out.
162
00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:24,820
Oh, not... not this!
163
00:11:24,980 --> 00:11:26,300
Not this!
164
00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:28,620
Oh, fuck!
165
00:11:38,460 --> 00:11:42,100
I told you months ago that ute
wouldn't last very long, Murray.
166
00:11:42,260 --> 00:11:44,260
I loved it well, but not too wisely.
167
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,140
I'll give you a ride.
168
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:49,620
How you going, Alli?
169
00:11:49,780 --> 00:11:50,860
Hey.
170
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:57,180
That's not the problem,
Hilly, and you know it.
171
00:11:57,340 --> 00:11:59,180
The problem is the leaking.
172
00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:01,180
OK, let me be crystal clear with you.
173
00:12:01,340 --> 00:12:02,580
If a word of this appears online
174
00:12:02,780 --> 00:12:04,580
before seven this
evening, you will be fired.
175
00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:08,100
Davey.
176
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:12,380
Davey? Since when Davey?
177
00:12:12,580 --> 00:12:15,780
I saw you in the House today,
mate. Strong bloody stuff.
178
00:12:15,980 --> 00:12:18,820
Poor old Ed Thompson must
be shaking in his boots.
179
00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:20,500
They send you to warn me off?
180
00:12:20,660 --> 00:12:22,660
Well, I volunteered.
181
00:12:22,820 --> 00:12:23,860
Now, I know you won't believe this,
182
00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:26,380
but I've got a soft spot for you, Davey.
183
00:12:26,540 --> 00:12:27,500
I think you're a lame duck
184
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:29,900
and you're about as interesting
as dinner with the ex-in-laws,
185
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:33,020
but I do admire your pointless tenacity.
186
00:12:33,180 --> 00:12:35,540
So, stop attacking Ed Thompson.
187
00:12:35,740 --> 00:12:38,180
- It will not end well.
- How do you know?
188
00:12:38,380 --> 00:12:40,740
Because nothing involving
Thommo ends well.
189
00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:43,620
This entire process has been a farce.
190
00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:46,300
Three judges have recused themselves
from hearing Thompson's trial.
191
00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:47,660
Your mate Casswell has seen to it
192
00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:49,660
there's been no progress
in this case whatsoever.
193
00:12:49,860 --> 00:12:51,860
Hey! Your blokes aren't all cleanskins.
194
00:12:52,060 --> 00:12:54,180
If that's true, they won't
be MPs for much longer.
195
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,700
I am not fucking around here, Davey.
196
00:12:57,980 --> 00:12:59,180
Why are you doing this?
197
00:12:59,380 --> 00:13:00,860
Because, as the hangman
said to the client,
198
00:13:01,020 --> 00:13:03,500
I'd rather have my job than yours.
199
00:13:11,140 --> 00:13:12,620
I hope tea's alright.
200
00:13:12,820 --> 00:13:15,180
You wouldn't happen to
have something stronger?
201
00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:19,380
Uh, no, I'm afraid those
days are long past.
202
00:13:19,580 --> 00:13:22,420
Since the cancer, I'm trying to live well.
203
00:13:22,620 --> 00:13:25,380
- Mmm. - Although it
mightn't look that way.
204
00:13:25,580 --> 00:13:27,420
It looks a lot better
than when Judith's here.
205
00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:29,940
Then it's just chaos.
206
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:33,620
She's a real artist. You
haven't met Judith, have you?
207
00:13:33,820 --> 00:13:38,140
Uh, no. She's, uh... she's
a friend of a friend.
208
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:40,340
How's your book coming along?
209
00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:41,820
Oh, you know.
210
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,260
Have you spoken to your kids recently?
211
00:13:45,460 --> 00:13:49,660
Ah, yeah, yes, about a week or so ago.
212
00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:54,140
The time difference with London's a
real pain in the neck at the moment.
213
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,580
You've got three, right?
214
00:13:56,780 --> 00:13:58,580
- Yep.
- What are their names again?
215
00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:03,380
Adam, Max and Zoe.
216
00:14:03,540 --> 00:14:05,780
Oh, that's right. You guys Jewish?
217
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:08,500
No, why?
218
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:10,860
Well, none of those names sound
necessarily Jewish on their own,
219
00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:12,780
but you put them together
and they sound kinda Jewish.
220
00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:17,580
Ah, yeah. No, no Jewishness.
221
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:20,820
Do you want some?
222
00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:25,420
Oh, no, drugs have... never been my thing.
223
00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:28,780
Ha, Simon pure and Simon simple, eh?
224
00:14:28,940 --> 00:14:31,300
Mm-hm. Pretty much.
225
00:14:34,580 --> 00:14:37,460
So, what about the guy your wife
left you for? Is he another lawyer?
226
00:14:37,660 --> 00:14:40,060
What's with all the
questions, Sarah Ferguson?
227
00:14:40,220 --> 00:14:41,380
Well, you're a bit of a mystery man.
228
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:43,780
Everyone's speculating
about 'poor Murray'.
229
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:46,820
Poor Murray? Is that what they call me?
230
00:14:46,980 --> 00:14:48,300
Poor Murray?
231
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:49,820
Well, you know, the cancer and everything.
232
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:51,860
There's nothing to
speculate about, alright?
233
00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:55,220
There's nothing to see here. Very dull.
234
00:14:55,380 --> 00:14:58,780
It's just an ordinary suburban story.
235
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:01,420
Marriage, work, divorce, illness,
236
00:15:01,580 --> 00:15:04,060
breakdown, self-publish a book.
237
00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:08,780
- That can't be all there is to you.
- That's all there is.
238
00:15:10,340 --> 00:15:11,340
Are you a spy?
239
00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:15,060
One of those sleeper cells who's
going to kill us all one night?
240
00:15:15,260 --> 00:15:18,500
You really don't strike me
as being in any way suburban.
241
00:15:30,940 --> 00:15:34,420
Did you say something about
needing to get back to your dad's?
242
00:15:34,580 --> 00:15:36,020
No? Why?
243
00:15:36,180 --> 00:15:37,580
Do you want to get rid of me?
244
00:15:37,780 --> 00:15:42,060
No, no, I don't want to get rid of you.
245
00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:45,180
Hey, I need to pee.
246
00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:50,020
- It's outside, right?
- Yeah, there's... there's a trick.
247
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,540
Whistle. For the...
248
00:16:00,420 --> 00:16:03,820
I grew up around here. I
know how to deal with snakes.
249
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:33,540
Shit.
250
00:16:36,980 --> 00:16:39,420
Oh, shit!
251
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:40,620
Oh!
252
00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:44,060
- What happened?
- No I just...
253
00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:47,580
Oh, I stood up and knocked over
the bloody tea into your...
254
00:16:47,780 --> 00:16:51,020
Oh, right on top of your... drugs. Sorry.
255
00:16:51,180 --> 00:16:53,820
Oh, that's cool. I've got more.
256
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,020
Do you feel like pizza?
257
00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:59,580
Tonight, the incredible story
258
00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:00,820
of Barney Meagher...
259
00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:02,380
This is all there is.
260
00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:05,500
.. the man who survived the
odds in a runaway balloon,
261
00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:10,140
who landed a hero and has
taken the world by storm.
262
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:12,620
That's tonight on Australian Story.
263
00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:15,340
Look, we don't have to watch it.
264
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:17,060
No, we're watching it.
265
00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:19,180
No, I don't want to watch it.
266
00:17:19,380 --> 00:17:21,420
- Yeah, right.
- Listen to me.
267
00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:24,700
We're not watching it. I
wish I'd never said yes.
268
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:29,020
Yet somehow you did and I cannot
wait to hear what you have to say.
269
00:17:30,380 --> 00:17:32,700
Look, I thought we were through this.
270
00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:35,700
The last few months have been
fine. They've been good, right?
271
00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:39,020
Oh, we're not watching it.
272
00:17:39,180 --> 00:17:40,500
OK.
273
00:17:43,940 --> 00:17:46,300
I'm sure Scarlet will tape it anyway.
274
00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:49,420
Oh, for God's sake, I told you,
275
00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:52,980
I spent the better part of
an hour talking about you.
276
00:17:53,180 --> 00:17:57,660
Oh, well, let's hope that
the batteries didn't die.
277
00:17:57,820 --> 00:17:59,220
You were asked to be in it.
278
00:17:59,420 --> 00:18:02,060
You could have been in
it. They wanted you in it.
279
00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:04,860
Mama!
280
00:18:13,780 --> 00:18:15,740
That's tonight on Australian Story.
281
00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:18,420
Do you like Australian Story?
282
00:18:21,740 --> 00:18:24,380
Oh, no. Oh, no.
283
00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:27,060
Actually, I... I find it really, um...
284
00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:28,940
It makes me cry.
285
00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:33,140
Do we have to? I find it really
emotionally manipulative, sort of.
286
00:18:33,300 --> 00:18:35,980
Murray, it's half an hour.
287
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,940
Please?
288
00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:44,860
Oh, God. Do not...
289
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:48,860
Do not... do it.
290
00:18:54,340 --> 00:18:57,420
Good evening and welcome to
Australian Story. I'm Tony Jones.
291
00:18:57,620 --> 00:19:00,820
Four months ago, Barney Meagher
was an unknown Sydney lawyer.
292
00:19:01,020 --> 00:19:03,540
But then a present of
a hot-air balloon ride
293
00:19:03,700 --> 00:19:04,900
changed his life forever.
294
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:08,140
Having staved off near
certain death on two fronts,
295
00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:10,260
Barney became an instant celebrity,
296
00:19:10,460 --> 00:19:14,100
an unlikely media hot spot both
at home and internationally.
297
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:17,140
In a single moment, his
life changed irrevocably.
298
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:18,740
This is his story.
299
00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:22,460
Mama, it's on!
300
00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:26,220
Well, the three days that Barney
was in the balloon was a nightmare.
301
00:19:26,420 --> 00:19:27,900
Well, the kids thought
it was cool at first,
302
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,260
but after 24 hours they
were really worried.
303
00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:33,220
It was a big relief when he came home.
304
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,100
And he said, "I'm no hero,
305
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,860
"I'm just a man who froze
his arse off in a basket."
306
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,700
Oh, but now he's...
307
00:19:40,860 --> 00:19:42,660
.. well, he's famous.
308
00:19:42,820 --> 00:19:44,980
He's written a bestseller.
309
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:48,900
Doesn't matter what you're
watching now, he seems to be there.
310
00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:52,740
But Barney's still basically Barney.
311
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:56,900
I wasn't into relationships per se,
312
00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:59,820
but we still saw a fair bit
of each other over the years.
313
00:20:00,020 --> 00:20:03,420
I pretty much fell in love with
her the moment I laid eyes on her.
314
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:07,260
She was the most beautiful
thing that I'd ever seen,
315
00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:10,540
but I wasn't in her orbit then.
316
00:20:10,740 --> 00:20:15,500
We had mutual friends from
uni... including Cleaver Greene.
317
00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:19,540
I was studious. I did well.
318
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:22,540
Cleaver never studied. He did well.
319
00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:27,860
We've been working together
ever since we graduated.
320
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:34,060
Just gonna zip out and,
um... strain the potatoes.
321
00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:49,780
Yeah, a lot of us back then were,
322
00:20:49,940 --> 00:20:51,020
well, how do I put it?
323
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,340
Into ourselves.
324
00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:56,260
- Murray?
- G'day, Barn.
325
00:20:56,460 --> 00:20:58,900
I didn't expect to be
hearing from you, Murray.
326
00:20:59,100 --> 00:21:00,580
Ah, mate, I'm just watching
327
00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:01,940
your Australian Story on the telly.
328
00:21:02,140 --> 00:21:04,460
Very exciting. It's a ripper, I tell ya.
329
00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:06,460
Yeah, I was... I...
330
00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:10,460
.. telling Maria today I was
really looking forward to it.
331
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:12,300
- Maria?
- Yes, Maria.
332
00:21:12,460 --> 00:21:14,740
You... remem... you remember Maria?
333
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:19,380
Ah, yeah, mate, can I call
you back once the show's over?
334
00:21:19,540 --> 00:21:21,500
OK great. Thank you, Barney!
335
00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:25,540
Can I have your mum's phone?
336
00:21:25,740 --> 00:21:27,140
.. from all the guys I'd dated.
337
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:28,620
It's Cleaver.
338
00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:31,380
Mama!
339
00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:35,620
Barnyard, what the fuck!
340
00:21:35,780 --> 00:21:37,260
Is this the Australian Story thing?
341
00:21:37,420 --> 00:21:39,220
Yes, it's the Australian Story thing!
342
00:21:39,420 --> 00:21:42,540
Cleave, everyone knows you and
I have been mates for 30 years,
343
00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:44,100
including Edgar Thompson.
344
00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:45,900
So it'd be weird if I didn't mention you.
345
00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:48,660
Mate, it's not the mention.
It's not... It's the photos!
346
00:21:48,820 --> 00:21:50,100
Why would you give them photos?
347
00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:52,460
Because they asked for them.
Anyway, why wouldn't I?
348
00:21:52,660 --> 00:21:55,900
Because 11 out of the 13
people who live in this town
349
00:21:56,100 --> 00:21:59,140
are inexplicably addicted to the ABC, OK?
350
00:21:59,300 --> 00:22:01,140
That's all they ever talk about.
351
00:22:01,340 --> 00:22:05,260
Phryne Fisher's Doctor Blakey
fuckin' Murder bullshit,
352
00:22:05,420 --> 00:22:07,580
and Australian fucking Story.
353
00:22:07,740 --> 00:22:09,260
I'm meant to be in hiding
354
00:22:09,460 --> 00:22:11,380
and they are currently
watching me on the telly.
355
00:22:11,540 --> 00:22:14,740
Oh, right. Oh, sorry.
356
00:22:14,940 --> 00:22:18,620
You are so busy out there
whooping it up with Hamish and Andy
357
00:22:18,820 --> 00:22:23,620
and fuckin' Kyle and Kochie and
Karl and all of your celebrity pals,
358
00:22:23,820 --> 00:22:27,420
I can't open a magazine these days
without seeing your mush on it.
359
00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:28,860
You've become a whore.
360
00:22:29,060 --> 00:22:32,340
You wanna know why I've
turned into a whore, Cleave?
361
00:22:32,540 --> 00:22:35,020
I didn't want to tell you
this until you were back safe.
362
00:22:35,220 --> 00:22:38,700
But three months ago, I got a
bill for the rescue for the balloon
363
00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:41,860
from the Australian and
New Zealand navies.
364
00:22:42,020 --> 00:22:44,340
$1.2 million, Cleave.
365
00:22:44,500 --> 00:22:45,420
Jesus.
366
00:22:45,620 --> 00:22:48,380
And that was after negotiating
them down from 1.8!
367
00:22:48,580 --> 00:22:52,100
So I have to promote my book
and make paid appearances
368
00:22:52,260 --> 00:22:53,260
whenever I can.
369
00:22:53,460 --> 00:22:55,940
I honestly look forward to
your safe return, Cleave,
370
00:22:56,140 --> 00:23:00,380
so you can start paying off the
600 grand that is your share.
371
00:23:08,540 --> 00:23:10,980
.. embrace it with passion and joy.
372
00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:13,940
Has my stuff about you been on yet?
373
00:23:15,540 --> 00:23:19,100
To Scarlet, the first
great love of my life.
374
00:23:19,300 --> 00:23:23,380
I only wish I'd had more
understanding of who we were,
375
00:23:23,540 --> 00:23:24,860
and who we would become.
376
00:23:26,740 --> 00:23:29,460
That night you spent with
Cleaver made me want to die.
377
00:23:30,940 --> 00:23:34,140
I only hope... that
David will treat you well
378
00:23:34,340 --> 00:23:37,140
and you find the happiness you deserve.
379
00:23:37,340 --> 00:23:40,740
I honestly thought I was a
goner, but then a few days after
380
00:23:40,940 --> 00:23:44,380
I got home post-balloon, I
went and saw my oncologist
381
00:23:44,540 --> 00:23:46,460
and he did the usual tests
382
00:23:46,660 --> 00:23:51,580
and they came back negative,
as in no traces of cancer.
383
00:23:52,940 --> 00:23:54,500
So, he thought, "Well,
this can't be right,"
384
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:58,780
and he did the tests again
and the same result.
385
00:23:58,980 --> 00:24:02,500
My cancer wasn't in
remission, it was gone.
386
00:24:02,700 --> 00:24:05,180
- That's amazing.
- Mmm.
387
00:24:05,380 --> 00:24:09,540
This is Adam, this is Zoe and this is Max.
388
00:24:10,620 --> 00:24:12,260
They're your kids' names.
389
00:24:15,580 --> 00:24:19,060
The unbelievable coincidence!
390
00:24:19,260 --> 00:24:21,220
- Yes.
- Amazing.
391
00:24:29,540 --> 00:24:31,180
Barney's book, Up, Up and Away...
392
00:24:31,380 --> 00:24:32,780
You sure they didn't play
the bit I said about you
393
00:24:32,940 --> 00:24:33,900
while I was on the phone?
394
00:24:34,100 --> 00:24:36,500
.. is still the nation's
number one bestseller...
395
00:24:36,700 --> 00:24:39,380
Yep.
396
00:24:39,580 --> 00:24:42,300
Babe, I have no control over the editing.
397
00:24:42,460 --> 00:24:43,820
Uh-huh.
398
00:24:44,020 --> 00:24:45,740
Look, I will get the
raw footage from them.
399
00:24:45,900 --> 00:24:47,460
I will do that first thing.
400
00:24:50,020 --> 00:24:51,820
They misspelled his name.
401
00:24:51,980 --> 00:24:53,780
What? Whose name?
402
00:24:53,940 --> 00:24:56,500
Ha! Our son's name!
403
00:24:56,700 --> 00:25:01,860
It is not Ian, I-A-N, it is Iain, I-A-I-N.
404
00:25:02,060 --> 00:25:05,500
The only mention of our
child in your little story
405
00:25:05,660 --> 00:25:08,180
was on a card and it was misspelled!
406
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:09,500
Babe, I filled in a form...
407
00:25:09,700 --> 00:25:12,980
And I am referred to, lovingly, I am sure,
408
00:25:13,140 --> 00:25:14,180
as your 'current partner'.
409
00:25:14,340 --> 00:25:17,220
Babe, you refused to be on the show.
410
00:25:17,420 --> 00:25:20,980
These people need vision, hence
the word 'television', right?
411
00:25:21,180 --> 00:25:25,300
Yeah, I refused to be on the
show because I value our privacy.
412
00:25:25,460 --> 00:25:26,580
Well, you can't have it both ways.
413
00:25:26,780 --> 00:25:29,780
You can't value your privacy
and expect to be a star.
414
00:25:29,940 --> 00:25:32,620
Oh, God. Listen, Barney.
415
00:25:32,780 --> 00:25:34,900
You are not a star.
416
00:25:36,140 --> 00:25:38,380
You sat in a basket.
417
00:25:46,540 --> 00:25:48,900
That, uh...
418
00:25:49,100 --> 00:25:51,780
.. that Barney seemed
like a nice guy, didn't he?
419
00:25:51,940 --> 00:25:53,620
Oh, yeah.
420
00:25:55,660 --> 00:25:59,460
What about that Cleaver...
Cleaver Greene fella?
421
00:25:59,660 --> 00:26:01,900
He seemed like a bit of
a character, didn't he?
422
00:26:02,100 --> 00:26:04,460
From what they said on the show,
he sounded like a total dick.
423
00:26:05,980 --> 00:26:08,420
- Did he?
- Mmm.
424
00:26:14,620 --> 00:26:16,460
You sure you don't want to try some?
425
00:26:22,020 --> 00:26:23,340
Do you think it is medicinal?
426
00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:26,420
I mean, you know how they're talking
about how it's all medicinal?
427
00:26:26,620 --> 00:26:28,300
Yeah. Oh, definitely. No doubt about it.
428
00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:29,780
- Really?
- Yeah.
429
00:26:29,940 --> 00:26:32,700
Maybe just a little go.
430
00:26:40,260 --> 00:26:42,220
Hey, hey, watch it there, kemosabe.
431
00:26:43,300 --> 00:26:47,700
You've gotta learn to walk before
you can run. That's strong stuff.
432
00:27:21,900 --> 00:27:23,620
Ooh! Ah!
433
00:27:23,820 --> 00:27:26,260
Ooh!
434
00:27:26,420 --> 00:27:28,500
I'm Oscar Summons! I'm Oscar Summons.
435
00:27:28,700 --> 00:27:31,900
I'm your Greens candidate for the
Senate in the next federal election.
436
00:27:32,060 --> 00:27:33,460
Ah!
437
00:27:43,420 --> 00:27:44,420
What's up?
438
00:27:44,620 --> 00:27:46,500
Didn't you say you had testicular cancer?
439
00:27:46,660 --> 00:27:47,820
Yeah.
440
00:27:47,980 --> 00:27:49,620
There are two balls down there.
441
00:27:51,300 --> 00:27:53,580
I thought you'd lost one.
442
00:27:53,740 --> 00:27:57,540
Yes... yes that's... an implant.
443
00:27:57,740 --> 00:28:00,300
- They put in an implant?
- Yeah.
444
00:28:00,500 --> 00:28:03,100
Why? What is that? Is that,
like, a cosmetic thing?
445
00:28:03,300 --> 00:28:06,060
- Are you that vain?
- No.
446
00:28:06,220 --> 00:28:08,180
That's...
447
00:28:08,340 --> 00:28:10,580
.. so I can keep my balance.
448
00:28:14,060 --> 00:28:15,380
What?
449
00:28:44,140 --> 00:28:47,340
Melissa! Melissa, how are you
feeling, Melissa? Melissa!
450
00:28:47,540 --> 00:28:50,220
Once the darling of the Sydney social set,
451
00:28:50,380 --> 00:28:52,460
Melissa Partridge returned home today
452
00:28:52,660 --> 00:28:54,660
with her tail firmly between her legs,
453
00:28:54,820 --> 00:28:56,940
deported from the United States
454
00:28:57,140 --> 00:29:01,460
having been discovered in possession
of cocaine outside an LA nightclub.
455
00:29:01,660 --> 00:29:04,460
The former prostitute and
author of two bestsellers
456
00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:07,980
has recently been garnering
unwelcome headlines.
457
00:29:08,180 --> 00:29:11,900
She and now ex-boyfriend
Hollywood bad boy Lyle Jeffrey
458
00:29:12,100 --> 00:29:16,580
have recently been observed on
three occasions brawling in public.
459
00:29:40,620 --> 00:29:42,580
Your call could not be connected.
460
00:29:42,780 --> 00:29:45,580
Please check the number and try again.
461
00:29:45,740 --> 00:29:47,460
Your call could not be connected.
462
00:29:47,660 --> 00:29:49,860
Please check the number and try again.
463
00:29:52,460 --> 00:29:55,780
Turn it over.
464
00:29:55,940 --> 00:29:57,660
You need a new battery.
465
00:29:57,820 --> 00:29:58,660
Ohh!
466
00:29:58,860 --> 00:30:00,860
I'll call George. He'll come right out.
467
00:30:01,020 --> 00:30:03,140
OK, maybe I should call George.
468
00:30:03,300 --> 00:30:04,740
Right, of course.
469
00:30:04,900 --> 00:30:07,500
Oh, it's just... you know...
470
00:30:07,700 --> 00:30:09,820
Listen, I don't want the world
to know about us either.
471
00:30:10,020 --> 00:30:14,220
My ex is from Mayford. It's like
the Capulets and the Montagues.
472
00:30:14,380 --> 00:30:16,660
I gotta be on my best behaviour.
473
00:30:16,820 --> 00:30:18,060
Or what?
474
00:30:18,260 --> 00:30:21,740
Oh, Neil is into what
he calls counterculture.
475
00:30:21,940 --> 00:30:23,100
- Counterculture?
- Mmm.
476
00:30:23,300 --> 00:30:25,500
What I call getting
pissed and beating me up.
477
00:30:27,340 --> 00:30:28,420
Ahh.
478
00:30:28,580 --> 00:30:29,460
The jealous type.
479
00:30:29,660 --> 00:30:32,900
So... even though he tries to
screw anything with a pulse.
480
00:30:33,100 --> 00:30:34,500
I'm just texting you George's number.
481
00:30:34,660 --> 00:30:35,700
Mm-hm.
482
00:30:37,260 --> 00:30:38,540
There you go.
483
00:30:45,900 --> 00:30:48,140
Well, see ya, Mr Greene.
484
00:30:48,300 --> 00:30:50,060
See ya.
485
00:30:53,580 --> 00:30:57,980
Don't worry, I didn't notice until
you took your glasses off in bed.
486
00:30:59,340 --> 00:31:01,180
I won't tell a soul, promise.
487
00:31:01,340 --> 00:31:03,460
I won't even ask why you're here.
488
00:31:03,660 --> 00:31:06,220
No, but you'll Google
me when you get home.
489
00:31:10,660 --> 00:31:16,660
There's a very, very
bad guy I used to know
490
00:31:16,820 --> 00:31:19,500
who would like to kill me.
491
00:31:41,460 --> 00:31:43,500
Do you remember that thing you used to...
492
00:31:43,660 --> 00:31:45,820
.. you used to do with your belt?
493
00:31:45,980 --> 00:31:48,420
Oh, yeah.
494
00:31:55,900 --> 00:31:58,140
Oh, what the hell?
495
00:31:59,940 --> 00:32:02,780
I've never seen a battery
fried like this before.
496
00:32:02,980 --> 00:32:05,420
Well, they don't make 'em like
they used to, do they, George?
497
00:32:05,620 --> 00:32:08,060
Yes, Murray, yes, yes. I
don't know what's going on.
498
00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:11,820
43 years, mate, I've never
seen anything like this.
499
00:32:12,020 --> 00:32:14,900
Well, I guess we'll wait
on the autopsy results.
500
00:32:16,340 --> 00:32:17,700
What's the damage there, mate?
501
00:32:17,860 --> 00:32:20,060
Ah, 245.
502
00:32:20,260 --> 00:32:24,940
245? Holy shit, that seems a bit steep.
503
00:32:25,140 --> 00:32:27,140
So, you see Australian Story last night?
504
00:32:28,460 --> 00:32:30,540
Yeah. Yes.
505
00:32:30,700 --> 00:32:33,260
Bloody amazing, wasn't it?
506
00:32:33,420 --> 00:32:35,780
Yeah, incredible.
507
00:32:35,940 --> 00:32:39,100
So, um, Alli gave you my number?
508
00:32:39,300 --> 00:32:41,380
- Beg your pardon?
- Alli Franklin.
509
00:32:41,580 --> 00:32:42,900
No, I don't know how you got that idea.
510
00:32:43,100 --> 00:32:48,940
No, no. I think I just, um... I
Googled George, mechanic, Mayford.
511
00:32:49,100 --> 00:32:50,740
Ah, right. OK.
512
00:32:50,900 --> 00:32:52,260
Why... Why do you ask?
513
00:32:52,460 --> 00:32:56,580
Oh, it's just that Don Schultz
drove by here yesterday
514
00:32:56,740 --> 00:32:58,860
and he said he saw you two chatting.
515
00:32:59,060 --> 00:33:02,100
Did he? Oh, it's a small town, isn't it?
516
00:33:02,260 --> 00:33:04,940
Yeah. Well, he... yes, he did.
517
00:33:05,100 --> 00:33:07,260
Well, I guess she ran you home.
518
00:33:07,460 --> 00:33:09,860
Yeah, she ran me home and then we...
519
00:33:10,060 --> 00:33:15,700
.. we had a cup of tea and then
she... she hit the old frog and toad.
520
00:33:15,900 --> 00:33:18,140
- Really?
- Yeah, why?
521
00:33:18,300 --> 00:33:20,300
Well, it's just that Suse and I,
522
00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:23,220
we went round to her
dad's place last night
523
00:33:23,420 --> 00:33:25,620
and we never saw hide nor hair of her.
524
00:33:25,820 --> 00:33:31,020
Oh, well, when I say cuppa, I
meant... like, the whole pot and,
525
00:33:31,180 --> 00:33:32,740
um... of tea,
526
00:33:32,940 --> 00:33:35,580
and then we had some pizza
and... I don't know,
527
00:33:35,740 --> 00:33:37,660
time just flew by.
528
00:33:37,820 --> 00:33:38,980
Pretty lass, hey?
529
00:33:39,140 --> 00:33:41,140
Is she?
530
00:33:41,340 --> 00:33:43,740
Yeah, I suppose she's...
I mean, she's very...
531
00:33:43,940 --> 00:33:48,060
She's a very pleasant person, and
very strong Christian values.
532
00:33:48,260 --> 00:33:50,700
- Bastard of an ex.
- Yeah, apparently so.
533
00:33:50,900 --> 00:33:54,380
Listen, it's 240? Just take 250,mate.
534
00:33:54,580 --> 00:33:55,620
- We'll call it.
- Alright.
535
00:33:55,820 --> 00:33:56,700
- That's...
- Thank you.
536
00:33:56,860 --> 00:33:57,820
.. all good.
537
00:33:59,260 --> 00:34:01,780
I think about it almost every night.
538
00:34:03,180 --> 00:34:04,460
About what?
539
00:34:04,660 --> 00:34:08,220
The way you used to tie my hands
together with your belt and fuck me.
540
00:34:13,140 --> 00:34:15,740
I don't have a belt with me.
541
00:34:15,900 --> 00:34:18,140
I can get you a belt.
542
00:34:19,740 --> 00:34:22,420
I would love it if you
could get me a belt!
543
00:34:36,020 --> 00:34:38,220
- He's here!
- Hey, comrades.
544
00:34:38,380 --> 00:34:40,380
Thank you.
545
00:34:40,540 --> 00:34:41,780
Thanks.
546
00:34:41,980 --> 00:34:44,020
Look, I don't want to take
up too much of your time.
547
00:34:44,220 --> 00:34:47,980
I know how awful this
part of the process can be.
548
00:34:48,180 --> 00:34:50,300
There was just one or two
things that I'd like to say.
549
00:34:50,460 --> 00:34:52,420
Why should we listen to you?
550
00:34:52,620 --> 00:34:54,700
- Sorry?
- Why should we listen to you?
551
00:34:54,900 --> 00:34:56,380
Would you shut up and let him speak?
552
00:34:56,540 --> 00:34:57,660
Why?
553
00:34:57,860 --> 00:35:01,500
What has he done that confers on
him control of this room, huh?
554
00:35:01,700 --> 00:35:06,780
What insights does he have to give
to us that we don't know already?
555
00:35:06,940 --> 00:35:08,460
How to hire a hot-air balloon?
556
00:35:08,620 --> 00:35:10,420
No, wait, that... that was his pal.
557
00:35:10,620 --> 00:35:15,020
No, he got cancer, he sat in a
basket and then he was rescued
558
00:35:15,180 --> 00:35:16,900
and his cancer disappeared.
559
00:35:17,100 --> 00:35:19,420
Did he find a cure that
the rest of us can use?
560
00:35:19,580 --> 00:35:20,740
Fuck, no.
561
00:35:20,940 --> 00:35:23,380
Is this what we're looking
to for salvation, people?
562
00:35:23,540 --> 00:35:25,380
Is this what celebrity has come to?
563
00:35:25,580 --> 00:35:30,580
You know, get sick, do nothing
and we'll make you a star.
564
00:35:30,780 --> 00:35:34,140
I have absolutely no interest in
anything you have to say, sir,
565
00:35:34,340 --> 00:35:36,660
but I can't speak for the rest
of the people in this room.
566
00:35:36,860 --> 00:35:39,780
So why don't you just belt out
a few of your greatest hits
567
00:35:39,940 --> 00:35:42,100
and then piss off?
568
00:35:52,580 --> 00:35:55,740
Yeah, like I said, I don't want
to take up too much of your time.
569
00:35:57,140 --> 00:36:01,580
So I just wanted to wish
you all the very best.
570
00:36:02,740 --> 00:36:04,260
I really do.
571
00:37:06,740 --> 00:37:09,820
So, it's like parallel universes.
572
00:37:09,980 --> 00:37:10,860
How's that?
573
00:37:11,060 --> 00:37:15,740
Well, I was the 'it' girl last year,
but you're the 'it' guy this year.
574
00:37:22,380 --> 00:37:24,620
I've noticed you've been
having a bit of a tricky time.
575
00:37:26,620 --> 00:37:28,900
It's been really surreal, Barney.
576
00:37:29,100 --> 00:37:32,820
At first I thought that Lyle
was just dark and complicated,
577
00:37:32,980 --> 00:37:37,620
but... turns out he was just a bully.
578
00:37:38,900 --> 00:37:41,140
You OK?
579
00:37:43,420 --> 00:37:44,460
Where's Cleaver?
580
00:37:44,620 --> 00:37:46,500
I don't know.
581
00:37:46,700 --> 00:37:49,740
No-one wants to talk
to me all of a sudden.
582
00:37:49,900 --> 00:37:51,380
I need to see him.
583
00:37:51,540 --> 00:37:53,020
I can't help you. He's in hiding.
584
00:37:53,180 --> 00:37:54,780
I have no idea where he is.
585
00:37:54,980 --> 00:37:56,260
- Well, you must have a number.
- I don't.
586
00:37:56,460 --> 00:37:58,500
- Come on, buddy.
- Miss, he's in hiding.
587
00:37:58,700 --> 00:38:00,180
Just give me a number. Give me your phone.
588
00:38:00,380 --> 00:38:02,300
- I don't have a number.
- Bullshit!
589
00:38:02,460 --> 00:38:05,340
Bullshit! He loves me, you know.
590
00:38:05,540 --> 00:38:08,900
He fucking worships me. He would
wanna know that I was back.
591
00:38:09,100 --> 00:38:10,940
All he has to do is turn
on the news to know that.
592
00:38:12,260 --> 00:38:14,220
Don't you play fucking games with me.
593
00:38:14,420 --> 00:38:16,820
Why are you so determined
to keep us apart?
594
00:38:16,980 --> 00:38:19,020
I'm not. Miss, you're not well.
595
00:38:19,180 --> 00:38:21,860
Oh, really? I'm fucked, Barney.
596
00:38:22,020 --> 00:38:24,500
I am completely fucked.
597
00:38:24,660 --> 00:38:27,140
That's why I need to see Cleaver.
598
00:38:27,340 --> 00:38:29,660
- You need help.
- I need Cleaver!
599
00:38:32,300 --> 00:38:33,580
Oh, no, Barney, don't go, please!
600
00:38:33,740 --> 00:38:35,780
Please, I beg you. Please don't go.
601
00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:39,300
I need help. You're right, I need help.
602
00:38:40,940 --> 00:38:43,100
Do you really not know where Cleaver is?
603
00:38:43,260 --> 00:38:45,420
I don't know where he is.
604
00:38:47,980 --> 00:38:49,420
Then maybe you can help me.
605
00:38:50,900 --> 00:38:52,340
I'll do what I can.
606
00:38:52,500 --> 00:38:54,580
I just need a connection.
607
00:38:54,780 --> 00:38:57,020
Just to get me through
the next couple of days.
608
00:38:57,180 --> 00:38:59,060
That's all and then that's it.
609
00:38:59,260 --> 00:39:02,060
I just need a little
assistance, and then I promise
610
00:39:02,260 --> 00:39:05,220
I am gonna straighten up and I
am going to fly right, I promise.
611
00:39:05,420 --> 00:39:07,740
You're a criminal lawyer.
You must know someone.
612
00:39:08,900 --> 00:39:11,220
Don't tell me it's ice.
613
00:39:11,380 --> 00:39:14,540
No! It's just coke! Jesus!
614
00:39:14,740 --> 00:39:17,940
I just need a couple of lines.
What's the big fucking deal?
615
00:39:18,100 --> 00:39:20,300
I need a number.
616
00:39:20,460 --> 00:39:24,140
Please? Pretty please?
617
00:39:28,220 --> 00:39:32,420
Miss, no. That's the last thing...
618
00:39:32,620 --> 00:39:34,820
Oh, well, fuck off, then, you dickhead!
619
00:39:34,980 --> 00:39:36,540
Miss!
620
00:39:36,740 --> 00:39:41,020
You've never been anything but
a fat fucking loser, Barney!
621
00:39:49,780 --> 00:39:52,180
Oh, God!
622
00:39:56,940 --> 00:39:58,860
- Hi, Doc.
- Hey. How you going?
623
00:39:59,060 --> 00:40:02,820
Oh, yeah, fine. You know... Yeah, fine.
624
00:40:03,020 --> 00:40:05,420
I, um... I attacked a
Greens senate candidate.
625
00:40:06,500 --> 00:40:08,740
Not all eyes will weep for you.
626
00:40:08,900 --> 00:40:10,340
What do you mean?
627
00:40:10,500 --> 00:40:12,620
What do you mean, what do I mean?
628
00:40:12,820 --> 00:40:15,660
Oh, you sound weird. Have you done
something stupid? Have you been you?
629
00:40:15,820 --> 00:40:19,020
What? No. God no.
630
00:40:19,180 --> 00:40:20,660
Oh, my God. What have you done?
631
00:40:26,900 --> 00:40:28,380
Thank you!
632
00:40:33,900 --> 00:40:36,060
Adam and Zoe are both at sleepovers.
633
00:40:36,220 --> 00:40:38,260
Max is here.
634
00:40:38,420 --> 00:40:39,940
Max is the one I'm most afraid of.
635
00:40:40,100 --> 00:40:41,740
Brilliant as I am,
636
00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:45,900
I got him the new edition of
the World of the Warcraft.
637
00:40:46,060 --> 00:40:47,780
The Game of the War.
638
00:40:47,980 --> 00:40:50,980
Game... Oh, I got him
some fucking war game.
639
00:40:51,180 --> 00:40:53,220
So we won't see him for
at least three years.
640
00:40:56,540 --> 00:40:57,620
Come on.
641
00:41:05,500 --> 00:41:07,700
How's that?
642
00:41:07,860 --> 00:41:09,180
It's nice.
643
00:41:11,660 --> 00:41:13,420
I like nice things.
644
00:41:15,100 --> 00:41:18,020
Do you know how many pairs
of shoes I have in LA, Barney?
645
00:41:18,180 --> 00:41:20,220
No, Miss.
646
00:41:20,380 --> 00:41:23,780
Gotta be... 150.
647
00:41:25,460 --> 00:41:27,660
Gotta be.
648
00:41:29,500 --> 00:41:32,540
Every time I buy a pair of
shoes, I think about the needy
649
00:41:32,700 --> 00:41:34,020
and the poor people.
650
00:41:35,260 --> 00:41:37,420
And how the money I spend on shoes
651
00:41:37,620 --> 00:41:41,060
could contribute to a village
in Africa or something.
652
00:41:45,420 --> 00:41:47,740
I think about that for
about three seconds,
653
00:41:47,900 --> 00:41:49,100
and then I buy the shoes.
654
00:41:51,460 --> 00:41:53,220
Just rest.
655
00:42:12,460 --> 00:42:14,460
Hey, babe, can you call me back?
656
00:42:15,580 --> 00:42:20,100
I need some help with
something. It's important.
657
00:42:28,540 --> 00:42:30,140
It's like a bad Coke commercial.
658
00:42:30,340 --> 00:42:32,540
What are you talking about? It's really...
659
00:42:32,700 --> 00:42:34,180
Oh, yeah?
660
00:42:56,700 --> 00:42:58,620
- Oh, God!
- Cleaver! Cleaver!
661
00:42:58,820 --> 00:43:01,060
You scared the shit out of
me! What are you doing here?
662
00:43:01,220 --> 00:43:02,900
We can't risk this, OK?
663
00:43:03,100 --> 00:43:04,540
George was sticking his
nose in this morning.
664
00:43:04,740 --> 00:43:06,980
It's too late. Everybody knows about us.
665
00:43:07,180 --> 00:43:09,340
What do you mean,
everybody knows about us?
666
00:43:09,500 --> 00:43:10,380
Where's the corkscrew?
667
00:43:10,540 --> 00:43:12,140
The guy drove past.
668
00:43:12,340 --> 00:43:14,860
It was a drive-by. He saw us chatting.
669
00:43:15,060 --> 00:43:16,980
Is that all it takes for people to assume
670
00:43:17,140 --> 00:43:18,340
you're having sex in this town?
671
00:43:18,540 --> 00:43:21,380
It's all it takes to get tongues
wagging around here, I'm afraid.
672
00:43:21,580 --> 00:43:23,780
They can't be sure.
They don't know, do they?
673
00:43:23,940 --> 00:43:24,940
It's just gossip.
674
00:43:25,140 --> 00:43:28,940
It's irresponsible gossip that
just happens to be accurate.
675
00:43:29,100 --> 00:43:31,140
We could analyse this all night,
676
00:43:31,340 --> 00:43:33,940
or we could take a couple of
joints and a bottle of wine to bed.
677
00:43:36,100 --> 00:43:38,740
Well, that's quite a conundrum there.
678
00:43:40,780 --> 00:43:44,180
Do you want dinner or not?
679
00:43:44,340 --> 00:43:46,780
You know me. I want it all.
680
00:43:46,940 --> 00:43:50,420
Well, you can't have it all tonight.
681
00:43:50,620 --> 00:43:53,460
Well, you can have it all on the
weekend when Barney takes the kids,
682
00:43:53,660 --> 00:44:00,660
but tonight, it's just smooching in
the kitchen... and a bit of pasta.
683
00:44:25,940 --> 00:44:30,460
- Arghh!
- Stop it! Dammit! Stop it!
684
00:44:30,620 --> 00:44:32,420
Stop it! Shit.
685
00:44:33,540 --> 00:44:34,700
Judith?
686
00:44:36,740 --> 00:44:38,180
Alli?
687
00:44:41,980 --> 00:44:43,660
Am I crazy?
688
00:44:43,860 --> 00:44:46,300
But, you know, with all the art in here,
689
00:44:46,500 --> 00:44:49,700
I thought she might have
been an Aboriginal lady.
690
00:44:49,860 --> 00:44:50,820
Ahh.
691
00:44:51,020 --> 00:44:54,260
They're really beautiful works, Judith.
692
00:44:54,420 --> 00:44:55,660
Aren't they?
693
00:44:55,860 --> 00:44:58,500
I always find the Kimberley
such an inspiration.
694
00:44:58,660 --> 00:44:59,580
It's my Dreaming.
695
00:44:59,740 --> 00:45:01,100
Is it?
696
00:45:02,140 --> 00:45:03,500
Yeah.
697
00:45:09,340 --> 00:45:12,700
- Oh... Oh, shit!
- Oh, God! Ohh!
698
00:45:12,900 --> 00:45:14,540
Just hold it up. Hold it... Hold it up.
699
00:45:14,740 --> 00:45:15,820
- Just... Argh.
- Ohh!
700
00:45:16,020 --> 00:45:17,500
- Just hold it.
- Oh...
701
00:45:17,700 --> 00:45:19,620
Max!
702
00:45:21,340 --> 00:45:22,980
It's alright.
703
00:45:23,180 --> 00:45:25,140
Max, it's not what it looks like, alright?
704
00:45:39,620 --> 00:45:41,060
We're not bad people, you know.
705
00:45:43,340 --> 00:45:45,500
So is there any way we can start again?
706
00:45:45,700 --> 00:45:52,140
Reboot? Start from an agreed minimal
position that we're not bad people?
707
00:45:55,540 --> 00:45:58,020
From day one, I felt like
Scarlet's understudy.
708
00:46:00,940 --> 00:46:05,340
I felt like our relationship
is the result of desperation,
709
00:46:05,500 --> 00:46:08,420
not happiness, on both our parts.
710
00:46:08,620 --> 00:46:14,340
And I know that I'm overreacting
to all of this balloon bullshit,
711
00:46:14,540 --> 00:46:16,820
but every moment since you were rescued
712
00:46:16,980 --> 00:46:18,740
has confirmed my worst fears.
713
00:46:20,740 --> 00:46:22,980
I don't know if I can do this, Barney.
714
00:46:25,380 --> 00:46:28,940
It's starting to feel
more wrong than right.
715
00:46:42,380 --> 00:46:44,100
- It's gonna be OK.
- Let me go!
716
00:46:44,300 --> 00:46:46,180
Mummy's going to be alright.
It's just a small cut.
717
00:46:46,380 --> 00:46:47,500
- Let me go!
- Would you stop...
718
00:46:47,700 --> 00:46:49,820
- Let me go!
- .. struggling? Max!
719
00:46:49,980 --> 00:46:52,540
Stop touching me!
720
00:46:56,340 --> 00:46:57,620
Just calm down.
721
00:46:57,780 --> 00:46:59,620
NO!
722
00:47:05,100 --> 00:47:06,660
So where are you off to next?
723
00:47:06,860 --> 00:47:11,660
I'm in no hurry. This
last trip was so intense.
724
00:47:11,820 --> 00:47:13,780
The land just spoke to me.
725
00:47:13,940 --> 00:47:15,700
Right.
726
00:47:15,900 --> 00:47:21,940
Judith, if I may be so bold, uh...
where are you planning on staying?
727
00:47:22,140 --> 00:47:25,020
Well, don't be silly. This is my home.
728
00:47:26,460 --> 00:47:28,900
Yes, which you have leased to me,
729
00:47:29,100 --> 00:47:31,900
fully paid in advance, for six months.
730
00:47:32,100 --> 00:47:35,500
If there's any confusion, I
still have two months left.
731
00:47:35,700 --> 00:47:40,780
Murray, let's not let legal mumbo
jumbo stand in our way, pet.
732
00:47:40,980 --> 00:47:44,340
Yes, it's not actually mumbo
jumbo. It's very straightforward.
733
00:47:44,540 --> 00:47:48,500
Um, you have rented your
house to me for money.
734
00:47:48,660 --> 00:47:49,660
I am the occupant.
735
00:47:49,860 --> 00:47:53,580
I get to decide who comes through
the door and how long they stay.
736
00:47:53,780 --> 00:47:56,220
But, darling, I'm not kicking you out.
737
00:47:56,420 --> 00:47:57,740
I think we'll be very happy here together.
738
00:47:57,900 --> 00:48:00,740
No, we won't, Judith, I promise you.
739
00:48:00,940 --> 00:48:03,020
Do you have a copy of the lease on you?
740
00:48:05,660 --> 00:48:07,300
Well, you know there's no lease.
741
00:48:07,460 --> 00:48:09,260
It was a cash up front deal.
742
00:48:09,460 --> 00:48:13,140
Yes, I was curious about that, Murray.
743
00:48:13,340 --> 00:48:16,780
In my experience, cash
up front usually means
744
00:48:16,980 --> 00:48:19,860
you don't want any recorded
evidence of your stay, hmm?
745
00:48:20,020 --> 00:48:22,580
You may have the sofa.
746
00:48:22,740 --> 00:48:25,580
I need to piss Niagarishly.
747
00:48:26,980 --> 00:48:30,700
Oh, don't worry, Alli. You
can rely on my discretion.
748
00:48:30,900 --> 00:48:33,100
But if this is any more than 24 hours old,
749
00:48:33,300 --> 00:48:35,380
everyone around here will know anyway.
750
00:48:41,100 --> 00:48:46,020
Oh, so she's an Aborigine? She's
from fucking Knightsbridge.
751
00:48:46,220 --> 00:48:48,740
She taught Maggie Thatcher
how to pronounce her vowels.
752
00:48:48,940 --> 00:48:52,860
She got my fucking cash, and
she's got me by the balls!
753
00:48:53,060 --> 00:48:55,740
Oh, Cleaver, relax. The
woman's a total fraud.
754
00:48:55,900 --> 00:48:57,220
Call her bluff.
755
00:48:57,380 --> 00:48:58,260
What do you mean?
756
00:48:58,420 --> 00:49:00,660
Everyone round here knows it.
757
00:49:00,860 --> 00:49:02,780
Oh, well, everyone around
here seems to know everything.
758
00:49:02,940 --> 00:49:04,420
Mayford appears to be the blessed
759
00:49:04,620 --> 00:49:06,460
fucking vortex of universal knowledge.
760
00:49:06,660 --> 00:49:09,500
What are the traditional
telltale signs of a painter?
761
00:49:09,660 --> 00:49:12,100
Well, for me, it's paintings.
762
00:49:12,260 --> 00:49:14,300
Yeah, but can you see any easels?
763
00:49:14,460 --> 00:49:16,940
Or brushes? Paint on the floor?
764
00:49:17,140 --> 00:49:20,380
There's not a blank canvas in this
room. They're all finished works.
765
00:49:20,540 --> 00:49:23,340
Oh, other people's finished works?
766
00:49:23,500 --> 00:49:24,900
Oh, so she's heading out west
767
00:49:25,100 --> 00:49:27,420
and conning real Aboriginal
artists out of their work?
768
00:49:27,620 --> 00:49:29,620
Yep. Signing them and
then sells them as her own.
769
00:49:29,780 --> 00:49:31,100
Oh, the evil cow.
770
00:49:32,580 --> 00:49:35,140
Oh, let her try and kick me out of here.
771
00:49:35,300 --> 00:49:37,060
I will see her in court.
772
00:49:42,460 --> 00:49:46,420
Alli! Alli! Look what you made me do!
773
00:49:56,500 --> 00:49:59,300
Where is she? Huh?
774
00:49:59,460 --> 00:50:00,740
I don't know.
775
00:50:02,140 --> 00:50:05,180
That wasn't her, that was
Judith! Where's my wife?
776
00:50:05,380 --> 00:50:06,820
I don't know, mate. I
don't know where she is.
777
00:50:06,980 --> 00:50:08,900
Don't blame me. You can't blame me.
778
00:50:09,060 --> 00:50:10,340
I had no fuckin' choice.
779
00:50:10,540 --> 00:50:12,020
Just put the gun down.
We can talk about it.
780
00:50:12,220 --> 00:50:15,340
She comes here, disrespecting
herself with you!
781
00:50:15,500 --> 00:50:16,980
Disrespecting me!
782
00:50:17,180 --> 00:50:19,060
- It didn't have to be like this. - No.
783
00:50:19,220 --> 00:50:20,780
It didn't have to be like this.
784
00:50:20,980 --> 00:50:23,740
If you hadn't have got pissed every night,
785
00:50:23,940 --> 00:50:26,820
beaten the crap out of
that beautiful girl,
786
00:50:27,020 --> 00:50:30,660
it wouldn't have been like
this, you pathetic fuck.
787
00:50:33,980 --> 00:50:34,940
ARGGH!
788
00:50:48,020 --> 00:50:49,740
So...
789
00:50:52,900 --> 00:50:54,540
So.
790
00:50:54,700 --> 00:50:58,660
Now we... we call the cops.
791
00:51:06,340 --> 00:51:08,140
Don't know what Henry's thinking, Ray.
792
00:51:08,340 --> 00:51:11,100
Henry's a fuckin' dolt. Thicker
than a whale sandwich, you know?
793
00:51:12,660 --> 00:51:14,540
Why are they still here?
794
00:51:14,700 --> 00:51:16,020
And why do you keep topping them up?
795
00:51:16,180 --> 00:51:17,380
Because that's what you do.
796
00:51:17,580 --> 00:51:20,020
Yeah, but, I mean,
they've hauled Neil off.
797
00:51:20,180 --> 00:51:22,140
Judith's on her way to the morgue.
798
00:51:22,300 --> 00:51:23,740
What's with all the party lights?
799
00:51:23,940 --> 00:51:26,980
Oh, what a terrible business.
You alright, sweetheart?
800
00:51:27,140 --> 00:51:28,700
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
801
00:51:28,860 --> 00:51:30,380
Oh, Tonia.
802
00:51:30,580 --> 00:51:33,260
- What about you, Murray?
- Fine, Stanley, yes. All good.
803
00:51:33,460 --> 00:51:37,020
- I came as soon as I heard.
- I'll pop the kettle on, shall I?
804
00:51:37,180 --> 00:51:38,500
Yeah, that'd be good.
805
00:51:39,980 --> 00:51:41,820
Ah, George.
806
00:51:41,980 --> 00:51:42,900
What about some wine?
807
00:52:04,780 --> 00:52:06,500
What time did the last ones leave?
808
00:52:08,060 --> 00:52:09,500
5:30.
809
00:52:09,700 --> 00:52:13,980
Holy shit. Where did all
that Scotch come from?
810
00:52:14,180 --> 00:52:17,220
Charles had a case of it
in his car. Always does.
811
00:52:18,500 --> 00:52:23,100
My first-ever mid-Mayford
murder mystery party.
812
00:52:26,100 --> 00:52:28,180
- I'm scared now.
- Why?
813
00:52:29,500 --> 00:52:31,380
My force-fields are down.
814
00:52:36,140 --> 00:52:37,540
You can't stay.
815
00:52:38,980 --> 00:52:40,700
No, I can't stay.
816
00:52:43,900 --> 00:52:47,180
You could... come with me.
817
00:52:52,500 --> 00:52:54,020
I really liked Murray Rose.
818
00:52:54,180 --> 00:52:55,660
Eh?
819
00:52:57,220 --> 00:53:00,060
Cleaver Greene, he scares me.
820
00:53:10,060 --> 00:53:14,300
The chaos. I can't deal
with chaos right now.
821
00:53:20,580 --> 00:53:22,100
I'd better get Dad home.
822
00:54:05,020 --> 00:54:07,540
Oh, come on, you fuckin' thing.
823
00:54:14,700 --> 00:54:17,300
Good morning, Mr Greene. It's
a pleasure to finally meet you.
824
00:54:35,460 --> 00:54:37,580
Let go!
825
00:54:37,740 --> 00:54:39,580
We'll be needing two glasses.
826
00:54:39,740 --> 00:54:42,580
Oh my god!
827
00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:45,020
Oh, just after I caved
in entirely on Thompson.
828
00:54:45,180 --> 00:54:47,300
She's mine. You understand?
829
00:54:47,460 --> 00:54:49,180
You keep your hands off him.
830
00:54:49,340 --> 00:54:50,860
To allegations of deeds most found.
831
00:54:51,020 --> 00:54:52,500
You were in Columbia.
832
00:54:52,660 --> 00:54:55,660
It's so good to see you.
833
00:54:55,860 --> 00:54:57,860
- Guys.
- You better take your shoes off.
834
00:54:58,020 --> 00:55:00,020
Mum's new rule in the house.
835
00:55:00,070 --> 00:55:04,620
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
62702
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof