All language subtitles for Parenthood s04e02 Left Field.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian Download
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,385 --> 00:00:01,496 Help wanted, huh? 2 00:00:02,542 --> 00:00:03,609 I'm actually looking for a job. 3 00:00:03,677 --> 00:00:05,244 I need someone with photography experience. 4 00:00:05,312 --> 00:00:06,278 [Screams] Oh, my God! 5 00:00:06,346 --> 00:00:07,680 It's been five months. 6 00:00:07,747 --> 00:00:09,949 We can't keep walking on eggshells 7 00:00:10,016 --> 00:00:11,150 around this boy. 8 00:00:11,218 --> 00:00:12,218 I feel like I'm waiting 9 00:00:12,285 --> 00:00:13,652 to fall in love with our son. 10 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:15,988 Today's the big day, huh? Amy comes back from camp. 11 00:00:16,056 --> 00:00:18,324 She seems kind of distant or something. 12 00:00:18,391 --> 00:00:19,959 Oh, my God, I missed you so much. 13 00:00:20,026 --> 00:00:22,128 I missed you too. 14 00:00:22,195 --> 00:00:23,229 I just have to tell you 15 00:00:23,296 --> 00:00:24,463 that I got into Cornell early admission. 16 00:00:24,531 --> 00:00:26,799 I'm gonna miss you. 17 00:00:33,406 --> 00:00:34,874 [Giggling] 18 00:00:34,941 --> 00:00:37,109 [Low moaning] 19 00:00:43,617 --> 00:00:44,950 Ohh. 20 00:00:45,018 --> 00:00:47,253 I love our son, but I love when he's at grandma's. 21 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,922 Yeah. [Laughter] 22 00:00:49,990 --> 00:00:51,357 Yeah. 23 00:00:51,424 --> 00:00:53,759 You know, next time let's do it in the laundry room. 24 00:00:53,827 --> 00:00:54,760 - Mm. - We'll get every room 25 00:00:54,828 --> 00:00:56,862 in the house. [Giggles] 26 00:00:56,930 --> 00:00:58,063 [Cell phone chimes] 27 00:00:58,131 --> 00:00:59,999 Uhoh. That could be her. 28 00:01:00,066 --> 00:01:01,700 Could be your mama. 29 00:01:01,768 --> 00:01:03,269 Don't answer it. 30 00:01:03,336 --> 00:01:06,639 Oh. No, it's Adam. 31 00:01:06,706 --> 00:01:08,674 "Remind Amber to pick up toner tomorrow"? 32 00:01:08,742 --> 00:01:10,042 Are you kidding me? 33 00:01:10,110 --> 00:01:12,278 These are the texts he's sending at 10:00 P.M.? 34 00:01:12,345 --> 00:01:14,580 We are officially the hottest Braverman couple. 35 00:01:14,648 --> 00:01:16,182 You know, this really drives me nuts. 36 00:01:16,249 --> 00:01:17,783 It takes Crosby forever to respond 37 00:01:17,851 --> 00:01:19,185 to an email or a text. 38 00:01:19,252 --> 00:01:21,554 How hard could it be just to say, "okay, I got it"? 39 00:01:21,621 --> 00:01:22,922 Maybe he's busy, honey. 40 00:01:22,989 --> 00:01:25,658 Honey, it's Sunday night. 41 00:01:25,725 --> 00:01:28,928 Ohh. 42 00:01:31,464 --> 00:01:32,998 It's nothing. What? 43 00:01:33,066 --> 00:01:34,233 What are you looking at puppies for? 44 00:01:34,301 --> 00:01:35,534 We always talked about getting a dog. 45 00:01:35,602 --> 00:01:36,602 No. No, we didn't. 46 00:01:36,670 --> 00:01:38,470 - Yes, we did. - No, we haven't. 47 00:01:38,538 --> 00:01:39,738 Adam. 48 00:01:39,806 --> 00:01:41,774 Listen, we have. Look at how cute this guy... 49 00:01:41,841 --> 00:01:42,775 Oh, come on, honey, I know that you miss Haddie, 50 00:01:42,842 --> 00:01:43,943 but really? 51 00:01:44,010 --> 00:01:45,211 This dog does not look like Haddie. 52 00:01:45,278 --> 00:01:47,379 Haddie... that dog looks exactly like Haddie. 53 00:01:47,447 --> 00:01:48,781 - This one? - Yes. 54 00:01:48,848 --> 00:01:50,983 No, it doesn't. Okay, maybe a little bit. 55 00:01:51,051 --> 00:01:52,818 The curls are a little different. 56 00:01:52,886 --> 00:01:54,420 - Mm-hmm. - The eyes are not the same. 57 00:01:54,487 --> 00:01:56,722 - What's going on here? - Nothing. 58 00:01:56,790 --> 00:01:59,024 Nothing. I'm just looking. Okay. 59 00:01:59,092 --> 00:02:00,893 I'm not saying we're going to get a dog. 60 00:02:00,961 --> 00:02:02,428 We're talking about a dog. 61 00:02:02,495 --> 00:02:03,596 We're talking about getting a dog? 62 00:02:03,663 --> 00:02:05,130 - Mm-hmm. - Honey, I love dogs, 63 00:02:05,198 --> 00:02:06,832 but I also know what a royal pain in the ass 64 00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:08,734 having a puppy can be. They're cute. They're cuddly. 65 00:02:08,802 --> 00:02:10,269 That guy is going to destroy my house. 66 00:02:10,337 --> 00:02:11,403 He's gonna crap all over the place. 67 00:02:11,471 --> 00:02:13,038 So what? So do you. 68 00:02:13,106 --> 00:02:15,674 [Giggles] 69 00:02:15,742 --> 00:02:17,142 I'm just kidding. They're cute, honey, 70 00:02:17,210 --> 00:02:18,277 but it's a big... it's a big commitment. 71 00:02:18,345 --> 00:02:19,745 They are cute. Research shows 72 00:02:19,813 --> 00:02:20,980 that this dog would be good for Max 73 00:02:21,047 --> 00:02:22,448 as a companion. 74 00:02:22,515 --> 00:02:23,649 They're compatible for kids 75 00:02:23,717 --> 00:02:24,984 on the autism spectrum, they are. 76 00:02:25,051 --> 00:02:26,719 Mmhmm. All right. 77 00:02:26,786 --> 00:02:28,087 Well, let's just make sure we take a beat 78 00:02:28,154 --> 00:02:29,822 before we just run off and get a dog. 79 00:02:29,889 --> 00:02:32,391 Let's make sure we're thinking rationally about this. 80 00:02:32,459 --> 00:02:33,492 And there's another one I want to show you too. 81 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:34,793 It's a 14-year commitment. 82 00:02:34,861 --> 00:02:38,063 This one looks like your mom. 83 00:02:38,131 --> 00:02:40,833 Ruff. We'll think about it. 84 00:02:40,900 --> 00:02:44,003 Smile and say, "senior." 85 00:02:44,070 --> 00:02:46,171 "Senior." Oh, wait. Hold on, I'm on video. 86 00:02:46,239 --> 00:02:47,473 Crud. One more time, one more time. 87 00:02:47,540 --> 00:02:48,707 - I really have to pick her up at 7:45, so... 88 00:02:48,775 --> 00:02:50,042 - I know, I know, I know. - Wait, wait, wait. 89 00:02:50,110 --> 00:02:51,110 We got to get this. It won't stop recording. 90 00:02:51,177 --> 00:02:52,278 Okay, smile. 91 00:02:52,345 --> 00:02:53,879 - Good. Yeah. - Yay! 92 00:02:53,947 --> 00:02:55,648 Great. I'm glad we got that. 93 00:02:55,715 --> 00:02:57,383 Hey, grandson, wait a minute, wait a minute. 94 00:02:57,450 --> 00:02:58,751 I want to tell you something. Mmhmm. 95 00:02:58,818 --> 00:03:01,754 Now, for the next 12 months, I want you to behold 96 00:03:01,821 --> 00:03:05,824 the breast of knowledge, thrust yourself upon it, 97 00:03:05,892 --> 00:03:06,992 and suck. Gross, dad. 98 00:03:07,060 --> 00:03:08,661 Why does knowledge have boobs? 99 00:03:08,728 --> 00:03:10,729 Uh, listen, honey, pick me up at 5:00, okay? 100 00:03:10,797 --> 00:03:11,964 Don't forget. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 101 00:03:12,032 --> 00:03:12,965 And, listen, if you use the blinker 102 00:03:13,033 --> 00:03:14,166 and the windshield wipers 103 00:03:14,234 --> 00:03:15,401 at the same time, the car will shake, so... 104 00:03:15,468 --> 00:03:16,969 - Oh, jeez. - It's actually not raining. 105 00:03:17,037 --> 00:03:18,537 But. Well, you never know. 106 00:03:18,605 --> 00:03:20,306 Honey, have a great first day. All right. 107 00:03:20,373 --> 00:03:21,573 - Yup. - Say hi to Amy. 108 00:03:21,641 --> 00:03:23,042 - Bye, guys. I will. - Be polite to everybody. 109 00:03:23,109 --> 00:03:25,377 - Bye, guys. - Don't forget to... 110 00:03:25,445 --> 00:03:27,212 Wash your hands. Bye. 111 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:30,349 See you later, gran... "wash your hands"? 112 00:03:30,417 --> 00:03:31,884 I don't know. 113 00:03:31,951 --> 00:03:33,886 [Sighs] 114 00:03:33,953 --> 00:03:36,055 One anchovy-peanut butter sandwich. 115 00:03:36,122 --> 00:03:37,823 That's your favorite, right? No. 116 00:03:37,891 --> 00:03:39,224 Thank you. Hey, Victor. 117 00:03:39,292 --> 00:03:41,026 Come get your lunch. 118 00:03:41,094 --> 00:03:42,661 Oh, yeah, don't forget your sugar water. 119 00:03:42,729 --> 00:03:44,129 - Orange. - Victor? 120 00:03:44,197 --> 00:03:45,864 Buddy, we don't want you to be late on your first day 121 00:03:45,932 --> 00:03:47,833 of school. 122 00:03:47,901 --> 00:03:49,068 Hi. 123 00:03:49,135 --> 00:03:50,402 I don't feel good. 124 00:03:50,470 --> 00:03:52,204 What's the matter? 125 00:03:52,272 --> 00:03:54,039 My head hurts, and so does my stomach. 126 00:03:54,107 --> 00:03:56,208 Oh, boy. 127 00:03:56,276 --> 00:03:57,910 Let's see. 128 00:03:57,977 --> 00:04:00,112 Okay, well, you don't feel too warm. 129 00:04:00,180 --> 00:04:01,847 It's mostly my stomach. 130 00:04:01,915 --> 00:04:03,048 Hey. 131 00:04:03,116 --> 00:04:04,616 Guys, it's ten till. What's going on? 132 00:04:04,684 --> 00:04:06,685 Victor doesn't feel well. 133 00:04:06,753 --> 00:04:09,555 I think that we're gonna have to keep you home. 134 00:04:09,622 --> 00:04:10,956 But, hon, it's the first day. 135 00:04:11,024 --> 00:04:13,025 I know, but what if he's contagious? 136 00:04:13,093 --> 00:04:14,760 And, you know, we can't do that. 137 00:04:14,828 --> 00:04:16,562 Can you stay, and I'll take Syd? 138 00:04:16,629 --> 00:04:17,763 Yeah, yeah. 139 00:04:17,831 --> 00:04:19,965 And I will call you in an hour. 140 00:04:20,033 --> 00:04:23,635 Okay, buddy? I do not like you being sick. 141 00:04:23,703 --> 00:04:25,671 All right. All right. 142 00:04:25,739 --> 00:04:27,940 Bye, daddy. Bye, Victor. Feel better. 143 00:04:28,007 --> 00:04:29,475 - Bye. - Bye. Have a good day. 144 00:04:29,542 --> 00:04:30,542 - You too. - Love you, daddy. 145 00:04:30,610 --> 00:04:33,379 Bye, ladies. 146 00:04:33,446 --> 00:04:34,947 All right, man. 147 00:04:35,014 --> 00:04:38,717 Well, let's head upstairs and get you into bed. 148 00:04:38,785 --> 00:04:41,653 Can I lay on the couch? There's a TV there. 149 00:04:41,721 --> 00:04:45,324 - Okay. - And that brings us to Friday. 150 00:04:45,392 --> 00:04:47,793 DRT. What is DRT? 151 00:04:47,861 --> 00:04:48,961 - Oh, it's... - Dave ray trio. 152 00:04:49,028 --> 00:04:50,562 - Yes. - Jazz and stuff. 153 00:04:50,630 --> 00:04:52,564 And they are scheduled for half a day only. 154 00:04:52,632 --> 00:04:53,766 Why? Because they couldn't afford 155 00:04:53,833 --> 00:04:55,567 a whole day. [Cell phone chiming] 156 00:04:55,635 --> 00:04:57,002 Well, we have a half day that's unbooked. 157 00:04:57,070 --> 00:04:58,437 What are we gonna... I don't know. 158 00:04:58,505 --> 00:04:59,571 Do you want me to see 159 00:04:59,639 --> 00:05:01,073 if I can move Landon's session to then? 160 00:05:01,141 --> 00:05:02,441 I'm sorry. Hold on. That is a great idea. 161 00:05:02,509 --> 00:05:03,642 Yes, thank you. I'm gonna get some coffee. 162 00:05:03,710 --> 00:05:05,944 What is that incessant beeping 163 00:05:06,012 --> 00:05:07,146 that it's doing? 164 00:05:07,213 --> 00:05:08,881 It's just a calendar app that I have. 165 00:05:08,948 --> 00:05:11,583 Kristina lets me know if she adds something to our schedule. 166 00:05:11,651 --> 00:05:14,286 Well, it's real annoying. It's going off all the time. 167 00:05:14,354 --> 00:05:15,287 Yeah, just like a guy who plays a guitar during a meeting. 168 00:05:15,355 --> 00:05:16,822 I happen to like this app, okay? 169 00:05:16,890 --> 00:05:18,957 We have busy lives. It keeps us in sync. 170 00:05:19,025 --> 00:05:20,426 - Let's see what she just added. - Give me that back. 171 00:05:20,493 --> 00:05:22,661 - Can we? Oh, she has a hair appointment at 1:00. 172 00:05:22,729 --> 00:05:23,962 Thank God that came through. It's good for me to know that. 173 00:05:24,030 --> 00:05:25,964 - "We have dinner at 6:00." - Yup. 174 00:05:26,032 --> 00:05:27,166 Maybe forgot to eat if that wasn't there. 175 00:05:27,233 --> 00:05:28,534 Can we get back to the schedule, please? 176 00:05:28,601 --> 00:05:30,469 - Trip to the gynecologist? - Do you mind? 177 00:05:30,537 --> 00:05:32,805 That's private information. 10:00 P.M. to question mark... 178 00:05:32,872 --> 00:05:34,706 Funkytown. 179 00:05:34,774 --> 00:05:36,108 What? 180 00:05:36,176 --> 00:05:37,209 What is Funkytown? 181 00:05:37,277 --> 00:05:38,677 It's nothing. Give me the phone. 182 00:05:38,745 --> 00:05:40,145 - It's open-ended. It goes from 10:00 to God knows when. 183 00:05:40,213 --> 00:05:42,247 I don't know what it is. 184 00:05:42,315 --> 00:05:44,149 You're calling sex "Funkytown." 185 00:05:44,217 --> 00:05:46,218 No, we are not. No, we do not. 186 00:05:46,286 --> 00:05:47,319 Yes, you are. 187 00:05:47,387 --> 00:05:48,420 - Then what is Funkytown? - All right. 188 00:05:48,488 --> 00:05:50,456 So what? Give me back the phone. 189 00:05:50,523 --> 00:05:51,723 What? This is rough. 190 00:05:51,791 --> 00:05:53,525 You're scheduling sex with your wife? 191 00:05:53,593 --> 00:05:55,994 Yeah. Look, we have plenty of unscheduled sex, okay? 192 00:05:56,062 --> 00:05:57,463 Once in a while, we have dry spells, 193 00:05:57,530 --> 00:05:59,097 and we rely on going to Funkytown, 194 00:05:59,165 --> 00:06:00,566 and you will to, my friend. 195 00:06:00,633 --> 00:06:01,867 Nah, I don't think so. 196 00:06:01,935 --> 00:06:03,602 We had impromptu sex on the kitchen floor last night. 197 00:06:03,670 --> 00:06:05,137 And let me tell you, we did not have to schedule it. 198 00:06:05,205 --> 00:06:06,305 Niece. Niece is in the room. 199 00:06:06,372 --> 00:06:07,473 Libidos took over. 200 00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:08,874 - Niece. - Libidos. 201 00:06:08,942 --> 00:06:10,909 - Niece, 11:00. - Whew. 202 00:06:10,977 --> 00:06:13,846 [Playing Funkytown] 203 00:06:13,913 --> 00:06:15,681 Very funny. 204 00:06:15,748 --> 00:06:17,015 Is thatFunkytown? 205 00:06:17,083 --> 00:06:18,750 I love that song. 206 00:06:18,818 --> 00:06:22,087 Won't you take me to Funkytown? 207 00:06:22,155 --> 00:06:23,589 It's a good song. Thank you so much. 208 00:06:23,656 --> 00:06:25,023 - You're welcome. - Thank you. 209 00:06:25,091 --> 00:06:26,758 - That was good. - Ha. 210 00:06:26,826 --> 00:06:29,394 May God bless and keep you always 211 00:06:29,462 --> 00:06:32,064 And may your wishes all come true 212 00:06:32,131 --> 00:06:34,399 May you always do for others 213 00:06:34,467 --> 00:06:36,802 And let others do for you 214 00:06:36,870 --> 00:06:39,404 may you build a ladder to the stars 215 00:06:39,472 --> 00:06:41,640 And climb on every rung 216 00:06:41,708 --> 00:06:43,942 and may you stay 217 00:06:44,010 --> 00:06:46,445 forever young 218 00:06:46,513 --> 00:06:49,114 may you grow up to be righteous 219 00:06:49,182 --> 00:06:51,350 May you grow up to be true 220 00:06:51,417 --> 00:06:53,886 May you always know the truth 221 00:06:53,953 --> 00:06:56,088 And see the lights surrounding you 222 00:06:56,155 --> 00:06:58,891 May you always be courageous 223 00:06:58,958 --> 00:07:01,059 Stand upright and be strong 224 00:07:01,127 --> 00:07:03,028 And may you stay 225 00:07:03,096 --> 00:07:05,731 forever young 226 00:07:05,798 --> 00:07:08,000 May you stay 227 00:07:10,014 --> 00:07:12,741 Sync and corrections by Tony for www.Addic7ed.Com 228 00:07:13,526 --> 00:07:15,842 yeah, so my mom said I could use her car 229 00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:16,957 twice a week, so... 230 00:07:17,025 --> 00:07:18,158 That's awesome. 231 00:07:18,226 --> 00:07:19,326 Yeah, if you want, we can make it like 232 00:07:19,394 --> 00:07:21,128 a regular thing. 233 00:07:21,196 --> 00:07:24,331 You know, that way you don't have to take the bus. 234 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:35,209 All right, well, is everything okay? 235 00:07:35,277 --> 00:07:37,811 You're all quiet. 236 00:07:39,447 --> 00:07:43,117 Drew, we need to talk. 237 00:07:43,184 --> 00:07:45,686 I, um... 238 00:07:45,754 --> 00:07:48,188 I met a guy this summer. 239 00:07:48,256 --> 00:07:52,526 At camp. 240 00:07:52,594 --> 00:07:56,230 And it's... I mean, it's not like... 241 00:07:56,298 --> 00:07:58,499 it's not serious or... 242 00:07:58,566 --> 00:08:02,202 What, are you, like, breaking up with me or something? 243 00:08:04,773 --> 00:08:09,376 Please don't be mad. 244 00:08:09,444 --> 00:08:11,779 I really care about you. 245 00:08:11,846 --> 00:08:13,614 And, I mean, I still want to be friends. 246 00:08:13,682 --> 00:08:16,383 - [Scoffs] - I'm sorry. 247 00:08:16,451 --> 00:08:18,018 I wanted to tell you sooner, but I just... 248 00:08:18,086 --> 00:08:20,387 I couldn't, and then... Yeah, you don't want 249 00:08:20,455 --> 00:08:22,723 to walk in the first day of senior year 250 00:08:22,791 --> 00:08:24,558 with me attached to you, I get it. 251 00:08:24,626 --> 00:08:27,027 Drew. 252 00:08:27,095 --> 00:08:30,698 Justohh. You should just go. 253 00:08:30,765 --> 00:08:32,566 The... the bell's gonna ring. 254 00:08:32,634 --> 00:08:34,301 Like, you're gonna be late, so... 255 00:08:42,410 --> 00:08:45,446 [Door shuts] 256 00:08:50,285 --> 00:08:52,419 [School bell rings] 257 00:08:54,889 --> 00:08:57,624 [Battle sounds on TV] 258 00:08:57,692 --> 00:09:01,595 [Cell phone jingles] 259 00:09:01,663 --> 00:09:04,164 Hey. 260 00:09:04,232 --> 00:09:05,833 How is he? 261 00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:08,135 I'll let you ask him yourself. 262 00:09:08,203 --> 00:09:10,771 Hey... Your mom wants to talk to you, 263 00:09:10,839 --> 00:09:14,141 if you're up to it. 264 00:09:14,209 --> 00:09:17,144 Hello? 265 00:09:17,212 --> 00:09:20,114 Yeah, my stomach still hurts, 266 00:09:20,181 --> 00:09:23,550 but I think the soup is making it a little bit better. 267 00:09:23,618 --> 00:09:27,254 Yeah, I think it will be good tomorrow. 268 00:09:27,322 --> 00:09:32,493 [Rock music] 269 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:34,361 The gray? 270 00:09:34,429 --> 00:09:36,563 It's nice, right? 271 00:09:36,631 --> 00:09:38,699 - It's not horrible, but... - No. 272 00:09:38,767 --> 00:09:39,833 It's not good. It's not good. 273 00:09:39,901 --> 00:09:41,201 No, I-I... you're right. 274 00:09:41,269 --> 00:09:43,003 How about this, though? I thought that was... 275 00:09:43,071 --> 00:09:45,572 Oh, yeah. It's too tan. 276 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,208 No, I don't like it either. Ooh, drew's here. 277 00:09:48,276 --> 00:09:49,977 Listen, he's a nice kid, but he's very shy. 278 00:09:50,044 --> 00:09:51,145 Don't scare him. 279 00:09:51,212 --> 00:09:53,280 We having a playdate now? 280 00:09:53,348 --> 00:09:54,615 No, it was his first day of senior year, 281 00:09:54,682 --> 00:09:56,016 so you might like to ask him a question. 282 00:09:56,084 --> 00:09:58,852 No. No, I don't. 283 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:00,687 Hi. How was it? 284 00:10:00,755 --> 00:10:01,755 - It was fine. - It was okay? 285 00:10:01,823 --> 00:10:04,057 You didn't crash the car? No. 286 00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:07,194 Drew, you remember Hank from the family portrait. 287 00:10:07,262 --> 00:10:11,331 Hank, this is my son drew, who you've been wanting to talk to. 288 00:10:11,399 --> 00:10:14,568 Huh? 289 00:10:17,806 --> 00:10:20,474 Hey, so I gave drew the car 290 00:10:20,542 --> 00:10:22,042 so that he could drive his girlfriend Amy 291 00:10:22,110 --> 00:10:23,477 to their first day of school. How was it? 292 00:10:23,545 --> 00:10:25,879 Is she in the car? 293 00:10:25,947 --> 00:10:28,715 Just I don't want to talk about it. 294 00:10:28,783 --> 00:10:32,119 - Did something happen? - Yes, mom, something happened. 295 00:10:32,187 --> 00:10:34,555 Can we not talk about it in here for seriously? 296 00:10:34,622 --> 00:10:36,290 She broke up with me. Oh, my God. 297 00:10:36,357 --> 00:10:38,125 The first day? Yes. 298 00:10:38,193 --> 00:10:40,127 Okay. All right. I'll see you in the car. 299 00:10:44,566 --> 00:10:46,099 She broke up with him, first day of school. 300 00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:47,334 Uhhuh. 301 00:10:47,402 --> 00:10:49,303 Love, man. 302 00:10:49,370 --> 00:10:51,338 It sucks. 303 00:10:51,406 --> 00:10:52,940 How comforting. 304 00:10:53,007 --> 00:10:54,408 [Clears throat] 305 00:10:54,476 --> 00:10:57,878 Thank you. 306 00:10:57,946 --> 00:10:59,279 It's insanity. 307 00:10:59,347 --> 00:11:01,482 Every time Kristina adds something to their calendar, 308 00:11:01,549 --> 00:11:03,183 his phone starts dinging. 309 00:11:03,251 --> 00:11:04,318 So all day long at work 310 00:11:04,385 --> 00:11:05,586 it's just ding, ding, ding, ding, 311 00:11:05,653 --> 00:11:08,255 as she adds "hair appointment," "Max," "this and that,". 312 00:11:08,323 --> 00:11:10,557 "I'm gonna burp," wa-wa-wa-wa. 313 00:11:10,625 --> 00:11:12,125 I mean, whoo. Well, why do you care? 314 00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:14,428 Maybe it works for them. Wouldn't that drive you crazy 315 00:11:14,496 --> 00:11:16,196 if every time I added something to our schedule 316 00:11:16,264 --> 00:11:17,931 your phone started vibrating and making noise? 317 00:11:17,999 --> 00:11:19,266 Oh, well, I wouldn't know, 318 00:11:19,334 --> 00:11:20,267 because we've never had one. 319 00:11:20,335 --> 00:11:21,969 Mmhmm. That's right. 320 00:11:22,036 --> 00:11:23,203 And we should never have one. 321 00:11:23,271 --> 00:11:24,671 I'm telling you, the second you start planning 322 00:11:24,739 --> 00:11:27,074 every little detail of your life weeks in advance... 323 00:11:27,141 --> 00:11:28,509 they schedule sex. 324 00:11:28,576 --> 00:11:29,943 They call it "Funkytown." 325 00:11:30,011 --> 00:11:31,745 - Oh, that's cute. - Yeah, the second 326 00:11:31,813 --> 00:11:33,447 we start doing that, we are officially old and married. 327 00:11:33,515 --> 00:11:34,882 Well, we are old and married. 328 00:11:34,949 --> 00:11:36,917 Well, maybe you're old and married... I'm not. 329 00:11:36,985 --> 00:11:39,620 I'm in a hot, steamy relationship that sometimes ends 330 00:11:39,687 --> 00:11:42,422 on the floor of this kitchen. Ooh, now that is Funkytown. 331 00:11:42,490 --> 00:11:44,258 - What's for dinner? - Well, we've got 332 00:11:44,325 --> 00:11:47,928 some really yummy salmon and rice and salad. 333 00:11:47,996 --> 00:11:49,396 Aww. 334 00:11:49,464 --> 00:11:51,732 What? It's good. 335 00:11:51,799 --> 00:11:54,501 It's gonna be delicious. Can we go somewhere else? 336 00:11:54,569 --> 00:11:56,370 Hey, I have an idea. 337 00:11:56,437 --> 00:11:58,705 Maybe we just flip this whole thing on its head, 338 00:11:58,773 --> 00:12:00,440 put this in the fridge for tomorrow, 339 00:12:00,508 --> 00:12:02,042 and then go out for pizza. 340 00:12:02,110 --> 00:12:03,310 - Yeah. - What do you think? 341 00:12:03,378 --> 00:12:04,811 No, no, I made dinner. 342 00:12:04,879 --> 00:12:07,114 It's ready to go. We're gonna sit down and eat. 343 00:12:07,181 --> 00:12:08,382 You don't want to eat salmon the next day. 344 00:12:08,449 --> 00:12:10,217 I mean, we could be those people 345 00:12:10,285 --> 00:12:11,285 that can't break any rules, 346 00:12:11,352 --> 00:12:12,853 or we could be the people 347 00:12:12,921 --> 00:12:14,555 that eat the salmon tomorrow, 348 00:12:14,622 --> 00:12:15,956 tonight we do pizza. 349 00:12:16,024 --> 00:12:17,057 - Yeah. - What do you say? 350 00:12:17,125 --> 00:12:19,326 Please, mom, please, please, please. 351 00:12:19,394 --> 00:12:21,228 - Fine, fine. - Yes. 352 00:12:21,296 --> 00:12:23,130 All right. 353 00:12:29,571 --> 00:12:30,837 - Do do do. - Please. 354 00:12:30,905 --> 00:12:32,339 We talk about it 355 00:12:32,407 --> 00:12:34,508 talk about it, talk about it 356 00:12:34,576 --> 00:12:37,477 Won't you take me to Funkytown? 357 00:12:37,545 --> 00:12:39,546 Won't you take me to Funkytown? 358 00:12:39,614 --> 00:12:40,647 - Hi. - Honey. 359 00:12:40,715 --> 00:12:41,982 Welcome home. 360 00:12:42,050 --> 00:12:43,350 I got one of your favorite bottles. 361 00:12:43,418 --> 00:12:45,519 - Wow, thank you. - Funky lady. 362 00:12:45,587 --> 00:12:48,155 I made you a cornish game hen. 363 00:12:48,222 --> 00:12:50,023 Mm, that's a funky-looking hen. 364 00:12:50,091 --> 00:12:52,726 I, um, I need to talk to you about something. 365 00:12:52,794 --> 00:12:54,861 - What? Oh. - Well, I had a... 366 00:12:54,929 --> 00:12:56,997 - whoops. - A whoopsie today. 367 00:12:57,065 --> 00:12:58,966 - Yeah, you had a whoopsie? - I had a whoopsie. 368 00:12:59,033 --> 00:13:00,634 What kind of a whoopsie did you have? 369 00:13:00,702 --> 00:13:02,302 I may have told Max that... 370 00:13:02,370 --> 00:13:03,870 hey, dad, mom said we're getting a dog. 371 00:13:03,938 --> 00:13:05,339 - What? - I never said that. 372 00:13:05,406 --> 00:13:06,707 - And this is the one I want. - When did this... honey. 373 00:13:06,774 --> 00:13:08,175 - Come here, look. - He's doing research. 374 00:13:08,242 --> 00:13:09,776 - She's a golden retriever. - Great-looking dog. 375 00:13:09,844 --> 00:13:12,713 See, golden retrievers were first bred in Scotland. 376 00:13:12,780 --> 00:13:15,849 They're a mix between water spaniels and labradors. 377 00:13:15,917 --> 00:13:18,118 And, now, the reason they're called retrievers 378 00:13:18,186 --> 00:13:19,186 is because men would go out hunting. 379 00:13:19,253 --> 00:13:20,554 You see, they would shoot the birds, 380 00:13:20,622 --> 00:13:21,622 and sometimes the birds would fall into the pond. 381 00:13:21,689 --> 00:13:22,990 They would need a cool dog 382 00:13:23,057 --> 00:13:25,525 to be able to go swim and retrieve them, you see. 383 00:13:25,593 --> 00:13:26,660 Okay, let's just slow down for a second, buddy. 384 00:13:26,728 --> 00:13:28,061 I want to talk to your mom about this. 385 00:13:28,129 --> 00:13:29,696 Now, mom, we are looking at dogs. 386 00:13:29,764 --> 00:13:31,031 We're thinking about getting a dog. 387 00:13:31,099 --> 00:13:32,232 We're not necessarily getting a dog. 388 00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:33,667 Why wouldn't we? They're loyal, 389 00:13:33,735 --> 00:13:35,035 and they're gentle, 390 00:13:35,103 --> 00:13:36,036 and they have a whimsical personality. 391 00:13:36,104 --> 00:13:37,471 They're whimsical. 392 00:13:37,538 --> 00:13:38,705 And they're the perfect family companions. 393 00:13:38,773 --> 00:13:40,140 Oh, I know they're whimsical. I understand. 394 00:13:40,208 --> 00:13:41,642 Dad, this lady and her partner, 395 00:13:41,709 --> 00:13:43,343 they've got one left, and they live in Sausalito, 396 00:13:43,411 --> 00:13:45,479 and they're open from 12:00 to 3:00 tomorrow. 397 00:13:45,546 --> 00:13:47,014 - A dog. - I know. 398 00:13:47,081 --> 00:13:49,483 - It's a dog. Yeah. - It's only 23.6 Miles away 399 00:13:49,550 --> 00:13:50,717 on the I-580 west. Max, listen to mom. 400 00:13:50,785 --> 00:13:53,553 Look at me. Hold on, both of you, for a second. 401 00:13:53,621 --> 00:13:56,523 I never once said, ever... thank you, babe. 402 00:13:56,591 --> 00:13:57,658 - What did you say? - I never once said 403 00:13:57,725 --> 00:13:59,092 that we were for sure getting a dog. 404 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:00,861 Yeah, you said that you and dad talked about getting a dog. 405 00:14:00,928 --> 00:14:01,862 - We spoke... - This is it. 406 00:14:01,929 --> 00:14:03,497 This is the one I want. 407 00:14:03,564 --> 00:14:04,998 Dad, this dog, it's amazing. 408 00:14:05,066 --> 00:14:06,600 We're getting this dog tomorrow. 409 00:14:06,668 --> 00:14:07,901 - Max. - Yes! 410 00:14:07,969 --> 00:14:09,236 Oh, my God, Max. Honey. 411 00:14:09,303 --> 00:14:10,937 You know how impossible this is gonna be. 412 00:14:11,005 --> 00:14:12,739 - I never said... - Now he thinks 413 00:14:12,807 --> 00:14:14,007 we're getting this dog. 414 00:14:14,075 --> 00:14:15,709 I said that we would talk about it. 415 00:14:15,777 --> 00:14:17,177 Now I'm gonna have to go explain to him 416 00:14:17,245 --> 00:14:19,112 that we may not even get a dog. Honey, we just had a baby. 417 00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:21,848 - No, I just had a baby, okay? - Apple, apple. 418 00:14:21,916 --> 00:14:23,083 - I squirted the baby out. - I understand, okay? 419 00:14:23,151 --> 00:14:24,251 - I'm the one. - Can you give her an apple? 420 00:14:24,318 --> 00:14:25,452 It's not an apple. 421 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:26,586 It's a tomato. I'll talk to him. 422 00:14:26,654 --> 00:14:27,654 I will talk to him. This is my fault. 423 00:14:27,722 --> 00:14:30,190 I'm sorry. 424 00:14:30,258 --> 00:14:34,628 We can still go to Funkytown. 425 00:14:34,696 --> 00:14:35,929 Okay. 426 00:14:40,099 --> 00:14:41,925 Okay. 427 00:14:44,962 --> 00:14:47,297 [Sighs] 428 00:14:47,365 --> 00:14:50,067 99.1. He's not going. 429 00:14:50,134 --> 00:14:51,201 That's nothing. 430 00:14:51,269 --> 00:14:52,836 Honey, well, he says he's sick. 431 00:14:52,904 --> 00:14:54,638 What do you want me to do? Call him a liar? 432 00:14:54,705 --> 00:14:55,972 So what are we gonna do, 433 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,474 let him stay home another day and play video games? 434 00:14:57,542 --> 00:14:59,676 I have meetings for the remodel. 435 00:14:59,744 --> 00:15:00,977 Okay, you go. I'll stay. 436 00:15:01,045 --> 00:15:02,579 - So you're gonna miss work? - Yeah. 437 00:15:02,647 --> 00:15:03,980 If that's what it takes. 438 00:15:04,048 --> 00:15:07,084 Babe, I honestly think this is one of those moments 439 00:15:07,151 --> 00:15:08,118 they talked to us about. 440 00:15:08,186 --> 00:15:09,686 We need to earn his trust. 441 00:15:09,754 --> 00:15:10,987 He needs to feel loved and supported. 442 00:15:11,055 --> 00:15:13,690 If that means missing a few days of school, 443 00:15:13,758 --> 00:15:16,726 you know, who cares? In the big picture? 444 00:15:16,794 --> 00:15:18,762 Okay. Big picture. 445 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:21,565 - All right? - Mommy. 446 00:15:21,632 --> 00:15:23,767 - Hey. - I don't feel good. 447 00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:27,604 I think I got Victor's bug. 448 00:15:27,672 --> 00:15:29,005 My head's really hurting. 449 00:15:29,073 --> 00:15:32,042 Syd, you're fine. What is today? 450 00:15:32,110 --> 00:15:33,276 I don't know. 451 00:15:33,344 --> 00:15:36,346 You don't know? It's Tuesday. 452 00:15:36,414 --> 00:15:38,615 It's art class. 453 00:15:38,683 --> 00:15:40,217 You're gonna put your smock on, 454 00:15:40,284 --> 00:15:41,618 get your hands in the Clay. 455 00:15:41,686 --> 00:15:43,053 You're gonna feel so much better, aren't you? 456 00:15:43,121 --> 00:15:45,789 Let's go. Well, I am making a vase. 457 00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:47,958 You are? 458 00:15:48,025 --> 00:15:50,093 Oh, my gosh. How big is this vase? 459 00:15:50,161 --> 00:15:52,996 Do you want another one, honey? 460 00:15:53,064 --> 00:15:54,264 - No. - Are they not good? 461 00:15:54,332 --> 00:15:55,499 Raw on the inside again? 462 00:15:55,566 --> 00:15:58,869 - They're just not... - Yeah, easy, easy. 463 00:15:58,936 --> 00:16:00,737 Honey, I'm just worried about you. 464 00:16:00,805 --> 00:16:03,140 - Well, I'm fine, so... - Yeah. 465 00:16:03,207 --> 00:16:04,774 Well, it's tough, you know. Women. 466 00:16:04,842 --> 00:16:06,643 They just... they rip your heart out... 467 00:16:06,711 --> 00:16:07,811 - Dad, this is not helpful. - Everybody knows about this? 468 00:16:07,879 --> 00:16:08,945 Dad knows. 469 00:16:09,013 --> 00:16:10,046 Stuff it back in, then watch it bleed. 470 00:16:10,114 --> 00:16:11,314 Dad, don't... that's not... 471 00:16:11,382 --> 00:16:13,283 we're trying to keep his spirits up. 472 00:16:13,351 --> 00:16:14,284 Right. 473 00:16:14,352 --> 00:16:15,719 Women are great. 474 00:16:15,786 --> 00:16:17,053 You know, people just sometimes... 475 00:16:17,121 --> 00:16:18,288 I don't need to hear advice about... 476 00:16:18,356 --> 00:16:19,856 whoo, they miss each other, 477 00:16:19,924 --> 00:16:22,058 and it's gonna be... 478 00:16:22,126 --> 00:16:24,961 You know, better someday soon. 479 00:16:25,029 --> 00:16:26,830 Someday. [Phone buzzes] 480 00:16:26,898 --> 00:16:28,532 That's probably Amy right now. 481 00:16:28,599 --> 00:16:30,433 "Take me back." Wow, mom, 482 00:16:30,501 --> 00:16:32,669 please stop watching everything I'm doing. 483 00:16:32,737 --> 00:16:34,171 It's not Amy. 484 00:16:34,238 --> 00:16:37,307 It's some spammer trying to sell me a male enhancement pill 485 00:16:37,375 --> 00:16:38,675 for a bigger penis. 486 00:16:38,743 --> 00:16:41,645 - Oh, my. - That was what it was. 487 00:16:41,712 --> 00:16:44,614 Well, you know, when life gives you lemons. 488 00:16:44,682 --> 00:16:45,749 Dad. 489 00:16:45,816 --> 00:16:47,751 He could be named cream puff. I like that. 490 00:16:47,818 --> 00:16:49,686 Or marshmallow. 491 00:16:49,754 --> 00:16:50,820 Dad, we need this dog. 492 00:16:50,888 --> 00:16:51,955 We're getting this dog right now. 493 00:16:52,023 --> 00:16:53,223 He's very cute, but remember, Max, 494 00:16:53,291 --> 00:16:54,391 we're just looking. They're so cute. 495 00:16:54,458 --> 00:16:55,825 We're just looking at this point. 496 00:16:55,893 --> 00:16:57,093 - I know, but they're all so... - Have you ever owned 497 00:16:57,161 --> 00:16:59,162 a dog before, sir? I actually have owned a dog. 498 00:16:59,230 --> 00:17:00,664 I did. I owned a Shih Tzu. 499 00:17:00,731 --> 00:17:04,601 And it got out, but... it got hit by a moving van, 500 00:17:04,669 --> 00:17:08,004 but it was not my fault. Honey. 501 00:17:08,072 --> 00:17:09,606 Hey, you can't housebreak those dogs. 502 00:17:09,674 --> 00:17:10,640 Right. 503 00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:11,775 I had a dog when I was a kid, 504 00:17:11,842 --> 00:17:14,444 but now we have a turtle, have a lizard. 505 00:17:14,512 --> 00:17:16,213 Well, what's your living situation? 506 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,315 - Excuse me? - Our living situation? 507 00:17:18,382 --> 00:17:19,482 Well, is it a condo? It it an apartment? 508 00:17:19,550 --> 00:17:20,884 What does that have to do with anything? 509 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:22,852 It's a house with a big yard, 510 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,287 lots of room to run. Have a yard. 511 00:17:24,355 --> 00:17:26,156 You are going to show her. 512 00:17:26,224 --> 00:17:28,258 Show her what? 513 00:17:28,326 --> 00:17:30,860 You mean, your intent on acquiring one 514 00:17:30,928 --> 00:17:33,230 of these championship stock 515 00:17:33,297 --> 00:17:35,632 is to turn it into a household pet? 516 00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:38,735 Yeah, well, it's a dog, isn't it? 517 00:17:38,803 --> 00:17:41,338 No? 518 00:17:41,405 --> 00:17:42,672 Honey. Come on. 519 00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:44,374 - What? - [Whispers] Just stop talking. 520 00:17:44,442 --> 00:17:45,709 All right, you know what, 521 00:17:45,776 --> 00:17:46,977 let's just cut to the chase. 522 00:17:47,044 --> 00:17:48,044 How much do you want for the dog? 523 00:17:48,112 --> 00:17:49,045 Well, you're gonna need 524 00:17:49,113 --> 00:17:50,213 some training sessions, 525 00:17:50,281 --> 00:17:51,681 of course dietary supplements, 526 00:17:51,749 --> 00:17:53,483 and a travel crate for the show dog. 527 00:17:53,551 --> 00:17:55,051 No, no, no, we just... just the dog. 528 00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:56,253 How much you want for him? Hi. 529 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,054 - Well, it's a her. - Okay. 530 00:17:58,122 --> 00:18:00,390 Yeah, should we decide that your family 531 00:18:00,458 --> 00:18:02,025 are capable of being good dog owners... 532 00:18:02,093 --> 00:18:03,226 We are. 533 00:18:03,294 --> 00:18:05,128 Our Goldens go for $1,200. 534 00:18:05,196 --> 00:18:06,396 That's right. 535 00:18:06,464 --> 00:18:08,031 - Oh, man. - Okay. Well. 536 00:18:08,099 --> 00:18:09,032 All right, dad, let's do it. 537 00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,433 That's good to know. 538 00:18:10,501 --> 00:18:11,434 I think we have to sleep on it. 539 00:18:11,502 --> 00:18:12,569 - Let's do it. - Max. 540 00:18:12,637 --> 00:18:13,837 We can afford it. We're rich. 541 00:18:13,904 --> 00:18:15,238 - It's a lot of money. - We're rich. 542 00:18:15,306 --> 00:18:16,539 - We're not rich. - We're rich. 543 00:18:16,607 --> 00:18:18,008 - We're not rich. - We're very well off. 544 00:18:18,075 --> 00:18:19,743 Well, I can do a 24-hour hold 545 00:18:19,810 --> 00:18:21,011 for a $200 deposit. 546 00:18:21,078 --> 00:18:22,245 And that's cash or check. 547 00:18:22,313 --> 00:18:24,247 Mom, write the check right now. 548 00:18:24,315 --> 00:18:26,650 Mr. Braverman, look, I got to be honest here, 549 00:18:26,717 --> 00:18:28,251 this puppy's not gonna last long. 550 00:18:28,319 --> 00:18:30,020 Why, is it sick? 551 00:18:30,087 --> 00:18:32,022 - No, popular. - Write the check. 552 00:18:32,089 --> 00:18:33,390 - I'm not writing a check. - Write the check. 553 00:18:33,457 --> 00:18:34,424 I'm not... Max. 554 00:18:34,492 --> 00:18:35,759 - Write the check. - Adam. 555 00:18:35,826 --> 00:18:36,926 We're gonna sleep on it, 556 00:18:36,994 --> 00:18:38,261 and we'll give you a call tomorrow. 557 00:18:38,329 --> 00:18:39,362 It's a beautiful dog. 558 00:18:39,430 --> 00:18:40,730 - No. - Hi. 559 00:18:40,798 --> 00:18:42,799 I love Ethiopian food. 560 00:18:42,867 --> 00:18:44,968 I've been wanting to go there. 561 00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:46,670 Yeah, okay, let me just talk to Crosby, 562 00:18:46,737 --> 00:18:47,871 and I'll call you right back. 563 00:18:47,938 --> 00:18:50,240 Okay, bye. Hey. 564 00:18:50,308 --> 00:18:51,808 Heeey. 565 00:18:51,876 --> 00:18:54,778 That was Kim checking on dinner for Friday night. 566 00:18:54,845 --> 00:18:55,912 We need to give her an answer. 567 00:18:55,980 --> 00:18:57,280 - Kim? - Yeah. 568 00:18:57,348 --> 00:18:58,615 Arlo's mom. 569 00:18:58,683 --> 00:18:59,716 Friday night's rough. 570 00:18:59,784 --> 00:19:00,784 I don't want to be in the session 571 00:19:00,851 --> 00:19:02,052 just staring at my watch the whole time. 572 00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:03,887 You know, the musicians can kind of sense that. 573 00:19:03,954 --> 00:19:05,255 Come on. It'll be fun. 574 00:19:05,323 --> 00:19:07,457 - Well... - We need couple friends. 575 00:19:07,525 --> 00:19:09,759 Are you sure that's a need and not a want? 576 00:19:09,827 --> 00:19:11,294 - Yes. - Okay, look, 577 00:19:11,362 --> 00:19:12,696 I can't commit to Friday. 578 00:19:12,763 --> 00:19:15,231 Maybe... I won't know until I see how the session's going. 579 00:19:15,299 --> 00:19:17,567 Can you maybe check in with them on Friday and tell them? 580 00:19:17,635 --> 00:19:19,803 Give 'em like 80%? 581 00:19:19,870 --> 00:19:22,305 - All right. - Okay, thanks. 582 00:19:22,373 --> 00:19:24,507 Oh, hey, do you want to hop in? 583 00:19:24,575 --> 00:19:25,608 No, your sister's coming 584 00:19:25,676 --> 00:19:26,810 in, like, 15 minutes to bring Jabbar. 585 00:19:26,877 --> 00:19:28,678 - 15 minutes? - Yeah. 586 00:19:28,746 --> 00:19:30,947 We can make twins in 15 minutes, honey. 587 00:19:31,015 --> 00:19:32,849 Come on. That doesn't turn me on. 588 00:19:32,917 --> 00:19:34,317 Oh, all right. 589 00:19:34,385 --> 00:19:36,753 Well, nice chatting with you. 590 00:19:36,821 --> 00:19:38,121 You're getting water everywhere. 591 00:19:38,189 --> 00:19:39,589 - I'm gonna be in here. - Yeah. 592 00:19:39,657 --> 00:19:41,925 I was serious, okay? And the idea of an interview 593 00:19:41,992 --> 00:19:43,493 about a dog is ridiculous. 594 00:19:43,561 --> 00:19:44,594 - It's not. - You know why? 595 00:19:44,662 --> 00:19:46,396 - Why? - Because it's a dog. 596 00:19:46,464 --> 00:19:49,599 It's not like we're adopting a baby. 597 00:19:49,667 --> 00:19:51,768 Right? And we made an agreement. 598 00:19:51,836 --> 00:19:53,870 We agreed that we'd take our time with this. 599 00:19:53,938 --> 00:19:56,272 - You told me what to do. - It's the first dog we've seen. 600 00:19:56,340 --> 00:19:58,708 - Honey, you told me... - Yes, and then you told Max, 601 00:19:58,776 --> 00:20:01,411 which completely undermines us making the decision on our own. 602 00:20:01,479 --> 00:20:02,846 That's what happened. Okay. Fine. 603 00:20:02,913 --> 00:20:05,048 You know what, point taken. 604 00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:06,149 You're right about that. Thank you. 605 00:20:06,217 --> 00:20:07,717 You're absolutely right. I did. 606 00:20:07,785 --> 00:20:09,552 But you sabotaged the interview on purpose. 607 00:20:09,620 --> 00:20:11,187 - I didn't sabotage anything. - You went in there, 608 00:20:11,255 --> 00:20:13,089 and you acted like you were on board, and you weren't. 609 00:20:13,157 --> 00:20:14,524 Okay? You said that you wanted a dog... 610 00:20:14,592 --> 00:20:15,558 I was on board when we first got there. 611 00:20:15,626 --> 00:20:16,693 You wasted everybody's time. 612 00:20:16,761 --> 00:20:17,961 And then the doggy gestapo 613 00:20:18,028 --> 00:20:19,429 started asking me questions 614 00:20:19,497 --> 00:20:20,864 about what kind of a dog owner I'd be. 615 00:20:20,931 --> 00:20:22,198 You broke your son's heart. 616 00:20:22,266 --> 00:20:23,566 You broke your son's heart. 617 00:20:23,634 --> 00:20:24,567 - I did? - You know, you did. 618 00:20:24,635 --> 00:20:26,002 He loved that dog. 619 00:20:26,070 --> 00:20:27,470 Did you see the way it was, like, snuggling and nuggling? 620 00:20:27,538 --> 00:20:29,372 Come on, honey, it's $1,200 for that dog. 621 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:30,740 $1,200. So what? 622 00:20:30,808 --> 00:20:31,975 I know you liked that dog. 623 00:20:32,042 --> 00:20:33,309 There are other dogs out there. 624 00:20:33,377 --> 00:20:34,811 It's a lot of money, but it's worth it. 625 00:20:34,879 --> 00:20:36,246 Okay? I'll do anything... 626 00:20:36,313 --> 00:20:37,414 - All right. - Within reason 627 00:20:37,481 --> 00:20:39,149 that you ask to get that dog. 628 00:20:39,216 --> 00:20:40,917 You want that dog, fine, we'll get that dog. 629 00:20:40,985 --> 00:20:42,318 - Yay! - But you said 630 00:20:42,386 --> 00:20:43,653 I'd get anything I want? 631 00:20:43,721 --> 00:20:45,555 Anything. I mean, do you want meatballs? 632 00:20:45,623 --> 00:20:47,223 I'll make you pasta. 633 00:20:47,291 --> 00:20:49,692 Fagioli. Hey, Kristina. 634 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,095 Anything? 635 00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:53,830 - Anything. - Anything? 636 00:20:53,898 --> 00:20:56,533 - Like Funkytown? - Yeah. 637 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,001 Anything I want. Okay. 638 00:20:58,068 --> 00:21:01,104 Except... yeah, I will do Funkytown, but I'm not gonna do 639 00:21:01,172 --> 00:21:02,739 that one thing that you like to do, 'cause it hurts. 640 00:21:02,807 --> 00:21:03,907 What are you talking about? You said anything. 641 00:21:03,974 --> 00:21:06,242 - Hold on, hold on. - Is that Haddie? 642 00:21:06,310 --> 00:21:07,377 Hello. 643 00:21:07,445 --> 00:21:08,778 - It's the lady. - Oh. 644 00:21:08,846 --> 00:21:09,946 Yes, this is Kristina. 645 00:21:10,014 --> 00:21:11,614 - Tell her $900. - No. 646 00:21:11,682 --> 00:21:14,617 Hi. Yes, of course. Thank you. 647 00:21:16,887 --> 00:21:19,022 Okay. 648 00:21:19,089 --> 00:21:24,160 I understand. Thank you for calling. 649 00:21:24,228 --> 00:21:27,897 They sold the dog. 650 00:21:27,965 --> 00:21:29,365 [Thud] 651 00:21:29,433 --> 00:21:32,969 - So... Funkytown? - So... 652 00:21:33,037 --> 00:21:34,103 No? 653 00:21:37,256 --> 00:21:38,477 Hey guys, wake up! 654 00:21:39,016 --> 00:21:39,841 Wake up! 655 00:21:40,098 --> 00:21:41,198 Max, stop. 656 00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:42,266 Wake up. 657 00:21:42,334 --> 00:21:44,368 Come on. Wake up. 658 00:21:44,436 --> 00:21:45,369 Max, we're asleep! 659 00:21:45,437 --> 00:21:47,572 I made a list of all the reasons 660 00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:49,106 why we need that dog. All right? 661 00:21:49,174 --> 00:21:50,441 - Honey. - Number one: 662 00:21:50,509 --> 00:21:52,610 Dogs, they're fun. They just are. 663 00:21:52,678 --> 00:21:56,681 Number two: Dogs teach responsibility. 664 00:21:56,748 --> 00:21:58,349 Reason number three: The dog has been screened 665 00:21:58,417 --> 00:21:59,984 and certified. Now I don't know 666 00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:01,085 why that's so amazing. They sold the dog. 667 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:03,754 The web site made it out to be good. 668 00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:05,523 What? 669 00:22:05,591 --> 00:22:07,458 Babe, they sold the dog. 670 00:22:07,526 --> 00:22:08,726 I talked to the lady last night. 671 00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:11,696 I talked to the... listen... listen to me. 672 00:22:11,763 --> 00:22:13,130 Don't get upset. No, you guys said 673 00:22:13,198 --> 00:22:14,298 you would sleep on it, and you slept on it. 674 00:22:14,366 --> 00:22:15,633 I knew this was gonna happen, honey. 675 00:22:15,701 --> 00:22:17,835 - And now I want that dog! - Max, take it easy. 676 00:22:17,903 --> 00:22:19,103 I understand you want the dog. 677 00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:20,404 This is one of those things in life 678 00:22:20,472 --> 00:22:21,672 you're just gonna have to deal with, Max. 679 00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:23,107 Honey, I got to take a shower. 680 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,442 Somebody else had a hold on it, okay? 681 00:22:24,509 --> 00:22:25,743 And they called first. 682 00:22:25,811 --> 00:22:27,011 Where are you going? No. No. 683 00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:28,245 - Are you kidding me? - I have to take a shower. 684 00:22:28,313 --> 00:22:29,614 - This is unfair! - I can't believe 685 00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:30,915 you're leaving me right now. Everybody, chill... 686 00:22:30,983 --> 00:22:32,216 it's on the calendar. You can check it out. 687 00:22:32,284 --> 00:22:33,985 I knew this was gonna happen. 688 00:22:34,052 --> 00:22:35,886 - Adam. - It isn't fair! 689 00:22:35,954 --> 00:22:37,054 - Oh, my God. - Dad, you said. 690 00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:38,589 Adam, are you kidding me right now? 691 00:22:38,657 --> 00:22:40,257 Please come back here. We're still discussing this. 692 00:22:40,325 --> 00:22:42,360 I have to take a shower. I should have just said no 693 00:22:42,427 --> 00:22:43,628 in the first place. There will be other dogs. 694 00:22:43,695 --> 00:22:45,296 I promise you that, and I will make sure 695 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:46,497 that you get... No, we need to get that dog. 696 00:22:46,565 --> 00:22:48,199 - Sweetie. - We need to get that dog. 697 00:22:48,266 --> 00:22:49,667 - The dog is taken. - No, we're going right now... 698 00:22:49,735 --> 00:22:50,735 Calm down. Adam! 699 00:22:50,802 --> 00:22:52,203 To tell them they made a mistake. 700 00:22:52,270 --> 00:22:53,671 Really? Really? 701 00:22:53,739 --> 00:22:54,972 When I was your age, 702 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,441 my parents made me go to swim team. 703 00:22:57,509 --> 00:22:58,676 Ooh, I hated it. 704 00:22:58,744 --> 00:23:01,145 I had to get up at 6:00 A.M. every morning. 705 00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:03,914 But they made me go, and I'm glad that I did, 706 00:23:03,982 --> 00:23:06,217 because now I'm a really good swimmer. 707 00:23:06,284 --> 00:23:08,653 Right, Syd? Yup. Remember that one time 708 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,422 you came to my swim class and you almost drownded me? 709 00:23:11,490 --> 00:23:13,124 Yes, I remember that, 710 00:23:13,191 --> 00:23:14,959 but you didn't drown, 'cause you were such a strong swimmer. 711 00:23:15,027 --> 00:23:17,294 That was great. You learned. 712 00:23:17,362 --> 00:23:18,696 Okay, let's go, guys. 713 00:23:18,764 --> 00:23:19,964 Let's go. 714 00:23:22,634 --> 00:23:25,403 Come on. Aren't you coming? 715 00:23:25,470 --> 00:23:27,238 It's okay. You can walk in with Sydney. 716 00:23:27,305 --> 00:23:29,306 Come on. 717 00:23:29,374 --> 00:23:30,975 Let's go. 718 00:23:32,310 --> 00:23:34,045 Okay. 719 00:23:34,112 --> 00:23:37,114 [Car horns honking] 720 00:23:37,182 --> 00:23:39,417 Victor, you have to go to school. 721 00:23:39,484 --> 00:23:41,452 You can't miss three days in a row. 722 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,554 My stomach still hurts. 723 00:23:43,622 --> 00:23:45,489 [Car horns honking] 724 00:23:48,326 --> 00:23:50,828 Sydney, go in. Okay, sweetie? 725 00:23:50,896 --> 00:23:52,930 - Okay. - Okay. 726 00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:59,236 Victor, I know a new school can be scary. 727 00:24:00,672 --> 00:24:06,343 And I know that it might still be scary living with us. 728 00:24:06,411 --> 00:24:09,547 But I need you to be brave for me, okay? 729 00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:13,984 I need you to do this. 730 00:24:19,491 --> 00:24:21,092 Honey. 731 00:24:21,159 --> 00:24:24,795 Okay, I will stay right here. 732 00:24:24,863 --> 00:24:27,131 You go to school, 733 00:24:27,199 --> 00:24:28,866 but, if you need me, if you need anything, 734 00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:30,835 I'll be right here. 735 00:24:30,902 --> 00:24:34,004 - All day? - All day. 736 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:38,442 - You swear? - Do you know pinky swear? 737 00:24:43,682 --> 00:24:46,350 Ugh, well, that just makes me hate her. 738 00:24:46,418 --> 00:24:48,085 I mean, you know, I don't hate her. 739 00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:49,487 She's a very nice girl, but, I mean, 740 00:24:49,554 --> 00:24:50,921 I just hate her. 741 00:24:50,989 --> 00:24:52,056 That's horrible. 742 00:24:52,124 --> 00:24:54,158 He just sat all by himself? 743 00:24:54,226 --> 00:24:56,460 Oh, my God, well, I guess, what is she supposed to do? 744 00:24:56,528 --> 00:24:59,296 You know, I mean, what does he have now, calculus? 745 00:24:59,364 --> 00:25:01,031 Okay. All right. 746 00:25:01,099 --> 00:25:02,933 Keep an eye out. Call me in an hour. 747 00:25:03,001 --> 00:25:04,468 Okay. Love you too. 748 00:25:04,536 --> 00:25:06,837 Bye. Oh, my God. 749 00:25:06,905 --> 00:25:09,039 Horrible. Drew's having a miserable day. 750 00:25:09,107 --> 00:25:10,808 - Mm-hmm. - Thank God 751 00:25:10,876 --> 00:25:13,210 my fiance is there, you know, to keep an eye out for him. 752 00:25:13,278 --> 00:25:16,213 Yeah, that's not weird at all. 753 00:25:16,281 --> 00:25:17,281 It's not weird. Why is it weird? 754 00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:20,351 - It's odd. - Why? 755 00:25:20,418 --> 00:25:21,619 Whatever. That's all right. Let's go. 756 00:25:21,686 --> 00:25:23,387 No, no, please, what's weird about it? 757 00:25:23,455 --> 00:25:25,222 I'd like your opinion. Can you just tell me? 758 00:25:25,290 --> 00:25:27,858 - Boy, oh, boy. - Look, I would love 759 00:25:27,926 --> 00:25:29,393 a man's opinion. 760 00:25:29,461 --> 00:25:31,796 There's a guy who worked for me for two years. 761 00:25:31,863 --> 00:25:33,364 He never said anything. 762 00:25:33,431 --> 00:25:35,432 I didn't know anything about his personal life. 763 00:25:35,500 --> 00:25:37,134 I didn't even know he was married. 764 00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:38,335 I miss that guy. 765 00:25:38,403 --> 00:25:41,872 Well, I'm not that guy. 766 00:25:41,940 --> 00:25:43,741 Bernie. 767 00:25:43,809 --> 00:25:45,009 I'm sorry I'm not Bernie, 768 00:25:45,076 --> 00:25:47,411 but can't you just tell me your opinion? 769 00:25:47,479 --> 00:25:50,080 You want to know my opinion? I think you're being an idiot. 770 00:25:50,148 --> 00:25:51,949 Wow. Okay. 771 00:25:52,017 --> 00:25:53,751 That's constructive. 772 00:25:53,819 --> 00:25:55,686 - No, you are. - Okay. Why? 773 00:25:55,754 --> 00:25:58,656 Your son got dumped, and you're all over him. 774 00:25:58,723 --> 00:25:59,824 You're fawning over him. 775 00:25:59,891 --> 00:26:01,358 I care. I'm interested. 776 00:26:01,426 --> 00:26:02,893 "Oh, it'll be okay. Doodlepuss, don't worry." 777 00:26:02,961 --> 00:26:03,994 I'm not gonna call him Doodlepuss. 778 00:26:04,062 --> 00:26:05,229 I'm worried, and he's in pain. 779 00:26:05,297 --> 00:26:06,564 I'm his mother. Of course he's in pain. 780 00:26:06,631 --> 00:26:07,998 Of course. Women... 781 00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:10,668 women are conniving soul-crushers, 782 00:26:10,735 --> 00:26:13,904 and, if he realizes that, he'll be okay. 783 00:26:13,972 --> 00:26:15,372 He has a chance. Oh, my God. 784 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:16,841 Somebody did not get invited to prom. 785 00:26:16,908 --> 00:26:18,275 I did get invited to prom. 786 00:26:18,343 --> 00:26:19,510 That's right. I was prom king. 787 00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,378 - No, you weren't. - I was prom king, 788 00:26:21,446 --> 00:26:22,580 I got laid, the whole deal. 789 00:26:22,647 --> 00:26:24,014 - Wow. - All right. You know why? 790 00:26:24,082 --> 00:26:26,116 'Cause I was cool. I drove a Honda CX 500. 791 00:26:26,184 --> 00:26:28,085 I listened to the dead instead of disco. 792 00:26:28,153 --> 00:26:31,255 I sold pot out of the back of Joey Nichols' car, 793 00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:32,556 and we made a lot of money, 794 00:26:32,624 --> 00:26:34,992 and my mother never even met my girlfriends, 795 00:26:35,060 --> 00:26:37,328 much less gave me dating advice. 796 00:26:37,395 --> 00:26:38,629 I would have laughed at her. 797 00:26:38,697 --> 00:26:42,633 So I should tell drew to, wait, get a motorcycle 798 00:26:42,701 --> 00:26:45,202 and sell pot, and that'll make him feel better? 799 00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:47,471 - No, it's simpler than that. - Well, what should he do? 800 00:26:47,539 --> 00:26:48,572 You know what he should do? 801 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:49,874 He should sleep with her best friend. 802 00:26:49,941 --> 00:26:51,208 'Cause that she'll take notice of. 803 00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:52,643 [Gasps] 804 00:26:52,711 --> 00:26:54,111 'Cause she's gonna do it to him. 805 00:26:54,179 --> 00:26:55,546 That's just the thing. She's gonna do it to him. 806 00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:56,780 So get there first... 807 00:26:56,848 --> 00:26:58,382 and you see? 808 00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:00,484 See, you asked my opinion, 809 00:27:00,552 --> 00:27:01,719 and then this happens. 810 00:27:01,786 --> 00:27:03,754 And that didn't happen with Bernie. 811 00:27:03,822 --> 00:27:05,256 Why did you ask me, though? 812 00:27:05,323 --> 00:27:08,425 What are you doing? Where are you going? 813 00:27:08,493 --> 00:27:11,662 I... 814 00:27:11,730 --> 00:27:16,333 Am gonna go get some coffee. 815 00:27:17,836 --> 00:27:19,336 [Door opens] 816 00:27:19,404 --> 00:27:22,473 [Door shuts] 817 00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:39,590 [School bell rings] 818 00:27:44,863 --> 00:27:47,231 [Kids chattering] 819 00:28:07,852 --> 00:28:09,853 Hey, beauty. 820 00:28:09,921 --> 00:28:11,055 Hey. Where's Jabbar? 821 00:28:11,122 --> 00:28:13,157 I don't know. I just got here. 822 00:28:13,224 --> 00:28:15,192 Jabbar? Wait, you didn't get him? 823 00:28:15,260 --> 00:28:16,860 What, no, you were gonna get him? 824 00:28:16,928 --> 00:28:19,163 You were supposed to get him. I told you I had a class. 825 00:28:19,230 --> 00:28:20,397 No, no, no, you didn't tell me that. 826 00:28:20,465 --> 00:28:23,233 Yes, I did. You said you had it covered. 827 00:28:23,301 --> 00:28:24,768 Oh, my gosh, you're right. I did. 828 00:28:24,836 --> 00:28:27,338 I'm so sorry. Um, I should have... 829 00:28:27,405 --> 00:28:28,739 what? Put it in a freakin' calendar? 830 00:28:28,807 --> 00:28:30,541 What a notion. 831 00:28:30,608 --> 00:28:32,743 Whoa, hey, hey. Stop sign, stop sign. 832 00:28:32,811 --> 00:28:35,145 You know what? I know you think it's so uncool 833 00:28:35,213 --> 00:28:36,814 and everything to have a schedule, but, guess what? 834 00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:38,515 That's what people do. They organize their lives 835 00:28:38,583 --> 00:28:40,084 so crap likes this doesn't happen! 836 00:28:40,151 --> 00:28:42,519 - The school's right here. - I know where his school is! 837 00:28:42,587 --> 00:28:45,022 Okay, well, listen, you're freaking out, 838 00:28:45,090 --> 00:28:46,390 and he's just sitting in school. It's not a big deal. 839 00:28:46,458 --> 00:28:48,826 You left our child in school. That's a big deal. 840 00:28:48,893 --> 00:28:50,361 I think you're overreacting just a little bit. 841 00:28:50,428 --> 00:28:51,495 Don't tell me I'm overreacting. 842 00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:53,097 You're blowing through stop signs. 843 00:28:53,164 --> 00:28:54,398 - You know what? - You're locking up the brakes 844 00:28:54,466 --> 00:28:56,166 as we pull into our son's... I tried. 845 00:28:56,234 --> 00:28:57,501 I tried to be all "go with the flow" 846 00:28:57,569 --> 00:28:58,736 and play it by ear 847 00:28:58,803 --> 00:29:00,104 and not be controlling, because I know 848 00:29:00,171 --> 00:29:01,271 you had a problem with that before. 849 00:29:01,339 --> 00:29:02,573 But, you know what, I can deal 850 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,074 with you blowing off our friends for dinner, 851 00:29:04,142 --> 00:29:05,409 but I can't deal with you leaving my child at school. 852 00:29:05,477 --> 00:29:06,610 Is that what this is about? 853 00:29:06,678 --> 00:29:07,845 Because I didn't go to dinner 854 00:29:07,912 --> 00:29:09,580 with Kim and whatever the guy's name is? 855 00:29:09,647 --> 00:29:11,348 You wouldn't commit, so they made other plans. 856 00:29:11,416 --> 00:29:12,950 I can't control work, okay? 857 00:29:13,018 --> 00:29:14,618 I gave you an 80% commitment. 858 00:29:14,686 --> 00:29:16,387 And you're 100% ass. You think everybody's supposed 859 00:29:16,454 --> 00:29:18,022 to wait for you... What? 860 00:29:20,358 --> 00:29:22,626 - Hi. - We are so sorry. 861 00:29:22,694 --> 00:29:24,962 Where were you? 862 00:29:25,030 --> 00:29:26,363 There was a mix-up with her calendar. 863 00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:30,100 - Sorry, sweetie. - And then... 864 00:29:30,168 --> 00:29:31,468 Won't happen again, though. Sorry. 865 00:29:31,536 --> 00:29:32,736 Thanks. 866 00:29:32,804 --> 00:29:34,104 Sorry, buddy. We'll make it up to you. 867 00:29:36,430 --> 00:29:39,191 Anyway, so this disco 868 00:29:40,658 --> 00:29:42,792 well, let me back up, 'cause I think it's important 869 00:29:42,860 --> 00:29:45,328 you understand how amazing this girl was. 870 00:29:45,396 --> 00:29:46,863 What do you mean? Like how? 871 00:29:46,931 --> 00:29:47,864 Well, girl's not even the word. 872 00:29:47,932 --> 00:29:49,132 Woman. You know what I mean? 873 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:51,568 Uhhuh. 874 00:29:51,635 --> 00:29:53,970 Just a gorgeous rack, beautiful legs. 875 00:29:54,038 --> 00:29:58,007 And just funny. Funny and smart. 876 00:29:58,075 --> 00:29:59,642 Smarter than me. Hell of a lot smarter than me, 877 00:29:59,710 --> 00:30:01,911 which is saying something. Oh, wow. 878 00:30:01,979 --> 00:30:04,247 - Yeah. - So what happened, 879 00:30:04,315 --> 00:30:07,250 you know, after she dumped you? 880 00:30:07,318 --> 00:30:08,885 I was a mess. 881 00:30:08,953 --> 00:30:10,286 I thought my life was over. 882 00:30:10,354 --> 00:30:12,522 I started going to the gallery that she worked at, 883 00:30:12,590 --> 00:30:14,491 and I pretended like I was interested in art, 884 00:30:14,558 --> 00:30:16,359 which just made it even worse. 885 00:30:16,427 --> 00:30:19,762 And then I wrote her a song. 886 00:30:19,830 --> 00:30:22,031 Whew. I can only imagine. 887 00:30:22,099 --> 00:30:23,266 How'd that go over? 888 00:30:23,334 --> 00:30:25,168 That wasn't good. That was a disaster. 889 00:30:25,236 --> 00:30:28,571 I knew two chords, and both of them were minor. 890 00:30:28,639 --> 00:30:30,406 Yeah, the sad e-minor. It always works. 891 00:30:30,474 --> 00:30:32,242 It was sad. See, you know music, right? 892 00:30:32,309 --> 00:30:36,112 Kind of. My dad was a musician, but... 893 00:30:36,180 --> 00:30:38,615 Well, I made a tape, and then I left it on her car. 894 00:30:38,682 --> 00:30:42,852 And, uh, never heard from her again. 895 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,622 To this day. 896 00:30:45,689 --> 00:30:46,789 What, so is that the whole story? 897 00:30:46,857 --> 00:30:48,858 Yeah, that's the whole story. 898 00:30:48,926 --> 00:30:51,728 She dumped me, she left, it sucked. 899 00:30:51,795 --> 00:30:54,964 30 years later, I'm still mad as hell. 900 00:30:55,032 --> 00:30:56,099 Here's the thing. 901 00:30:56,166 --> 00:30:58,301 Two things. One: 902 00:30:58,369 --> 00:31:00,336 Happy endings, it's, uh, it's a myth. 903 00:31:00,404 --> 00:31:02,038 It's... you know, maybe. 904 00:31:02,106 --> 00:31:04,474 Great. Yeah. 905 00:31:04,542 --> 00:31:08,211 And two: You're never gonna understand women. 906 00:31:08,279 --> 00:31:09,913 Never. Yeah. 907 00:31:09,980 --> 00:31:11,281 No, never, never, never. 908 00:31:11,348 --> 00:31:13,049 Yeah, I know. 909 00:31:13,117 --> 00:31:16,986 And three... 910 00:31:17,054 --> 00:31:19,756 It's okay to be sad. 911 00:31:19,823 --> 00:31:22,325 It's okay. 912 00:31:22,393 --> 00:31:23,660 [Door opens] 913 00:31:23,727 --> 00:31:24,961 - Hi. - Mama. 914 00:31:25,029 --> 00:31:25,995 Hi. 915 00:31:26,063 --> 00:31:27,063 "Mama"? [Laughs] 916 00:31:27,131 --> 00:31:28,464 What are you guys talking about? 917 00:31:28,532 --> 00:31:33,469 Nothing. Just... I don't know. 918 00:31:33,537 --> 00:31:35,338 - What? - I don't know. Talking. 919 00:31:35,406 --> 00:31:37,240 - Talking? - Yeah. Talking. 920 00:31:37,308 --> 00:31:39,709 - To him? - Yes, to him. Yeah. 921 00:31:39,777 --> 00:31:42,011 Hmm. 922 00:31:42,079 --> 00:31:44,781 [Knock at door] 923 00:31:44,848 --> 00:31:46,616 Hey. 924 00:31:46,684 --> 00:31:48,117 What are you guys doing? 925 00:31:48,185 --> 00:31:50,853 Just playing with our rings. 926 00:31:50,921 --> 00:31:53,056 Green. Is everything all right? 927 00:31:53,123 --> 00:31:54,057 I didn't hear back from you today. 928 00:31:54,124 --> 00:31:55,258 I left you a bunch of voice mails. 929 00:31:55,326 --> 00:31:57,560 Yeah, everything's fine. Mmm, thank you. 930 00:31:57,628 --> 00:31:59,295 I'm good. Listen, honey, can we talk? 931 00:31:59,363 --> 00:32:01,230 Honey, my phone was out of batteries. 932 00:32:01,298 --> 00:32:05,001 I just had to charge it. Yeah, right. 933 00:32:05,069 --> 00:32:06,803 So what are you doing? 934 00:32:06,870 --> 00:32:08,738 Can we just talk for a second, honey? 935 00:32:08,806 --> 00:32:10,640 We're fine. We're totally fine. 936 00:32:10,708 --> 00:32:12,241 Listen, when you pretend that your phone isn't charged, 937 00:32:12,309 --> 00:32:13,343 we're clearly not fine. 938 00:32:13,410 --> 00:32:14,544 Adam, you left this morning. 939 00:32:14,612 --> 00:32:16,879 Max screamed at me for 45 minutes, okay? 940 00:32:16,947 --> 00:32:18,948 You just left. I'm not trying to blame you. 941 00:32:19,016 --> 00:32:20,149 I know I did, and I'm sorry for that. 942 00:32:20,217 --> 00:32:21,484 Okay, I know that I'm a little freaked out. 943 00:32:21,552 --> 00:32:24,087 I'm sad, you know? 944 00:32:24,154 --> 00:32:28,057 I miss Haddie, and I'm just a little emotional. 945 00:32:28,125 --> 00:32:30,026 I'm acting like a brat. I'm sorry. 946 00:32:30,094 --> 00:32:35,164 Just it's... Hey, I'm freaked out too. 947 00:32:35,232 --> 00:32:37,433 And it's funny, 'cause there were these days 948 00:32:37,501 --> 00:32:40,470 when I felt like, "just go already, Haddie. 949 00:32:40,537 --> 00:32:42,038 Get on a plane." 950 00:32:42,106 --> 00:32:43,940 Now the day's come and gone, 951 00:32:44,008 --> 00:32:46,042 and there is this hole. 952 00:32:48,178 --> 00:32:50,113 It's like there's a piece missing. 953 00:32:50,180 --> 00:32:51,648 Yeah. 954 00:32:51,715 --> 00:32:53,516 We did everything together. 955 00:32:53,584 --> 00:32:55,952 It was, like, she was my buddy, you know? 956 00:32:56,020 --> 00:32:57,854 Mmhmm. 957 00:32:57,921 --> 00:33:03,092 Well, listen, I don't know if we can replace Haddie with a puppy. 958 00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,129 - You don't think? - [Babbles] 959 00:33:06,196 --> 00:33:08,197 Mama, mama, mama. I know. 960 00:33:08,265 --> 00:33:09,465 Dada, dada. 961 00:33:09,533 --> 00:33:11,100 - I know. - Dada, dada. 962 00:33:11,168 --> 00:33:12,935 - Can you say puppy? - But I'm willing to try. 963 00:33:13,003 --> 00:33:14,270 - Mama, mama, mama. - How? 964 00:33:14,338 --> 00:33:16,239 - I'll get a puppy. - You'll get a puppy? 965 00:33:16,306 --> 00:33:19,942 Nora, you want to get a puppy? 966 00:33:25,683 --> 00:33:27,483 Hi. [Knocks softly] 967 00:33:27,551 --> 00:33:29,352 - Hey. - What you doing? 968 00:33:29,420 --> 00:33:33,022 Nothing, just... 969 00:33:33,090 --> 00:33:34,557 - [Gasps] - Yes. 970 00:33:34,625 --> 00:33:35,591 - No. - It's so sad. 971 00:33:35,659 --> 00:33:37,226 Don't do it to yourself. 972 00:33:37,294 --> 00:33:38,661 - I'm sorry. - Get off that thing. 973 00:33:38,729 --> 00:33:44,167 Listen, I, um... I just wanted to ask you 974 00:33:44,234 --> 00:33:47,470 what your conversation with Hank was. 975 00:33:47,538 --> 00:33:50,073 - What do you mean? - I know you don't want to talk 976 00:33:50,140 --> 00:33:52,075 to me about Amy, and I totally understand, 977 00:33:52,142 --> 00:33:54,677 but, um, Hank, 978 00:33:54,745 --> 00:33:56,379 not your guy, I don't think. 979 00:33:56,447 --> 00:33:58,648 He seems like a nice enough guy 980 00:33:58,716 --> 00:34:00,950 and everything, but he's a deeply weird, 981 00:34:01,018 --> 00:34:04,120 troubled person with very frightening views on women. 982 00:34:04,188 --> 00:34:05,922 - Oh, my gosh. - And, I, uh... 983 00:34:05,989 --> 00:34:07,423 I noticed you guys talking. 984 00:34:07,491 --> 00:34:11,194 He literally just told me, like, it's okay to be sad. 985 00:34:11,261 --> 00:34:12,662 Stuff like that. 986 00:34:12,730 --> 00:34:13,896 That's what he said? 987 00:34:13,964 --> 00:34:17,967 Mmhmm. 988 00:34:18,035 --> 00:34:20,303 - Hmm. - Yeah. 989 00:34:20,370 --> 00:34:21,571 All right. 990 00:34:21,638 --> 00:34:24,240 [Chuckles softly] 991 00:34:24,308 --> 00:34:26,542 All right, well, I'm gonna get back. 992 00:34:26,610 --> 00:34:27,977 I just bought some razor blades. 993 00:34:28,045 --> 00:34:29,679 Don't even joke about that. 994 00:34:29,747 --> 00:34:32,048 - Mom, please, come on. - It's so upsetting. 995 00:34:32,116 --> 00:34:33,249 You have sleeping pills, right? 996 00:34:33,317 --> 00:34:35,651 Stop it! Don't even talk like that. 997 00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:36,919 I'm having trouble sleeping. 998 00:34:36,987 --> 00:34:38,588 - No. - Just get me a few. 999 00:34:38,655 --> 00:34:39,756 - Stop it. - Mom. 1000 00:34:39,823 --> 00:34:40,957 It's not a funny joke! 1001 00:34:49,166 --> 00:34:51,601 Hey. 1002 00:34:51,668 --> 00:34:52,802 Hi. 1003 00:34:52,870 --> 00:34:56,873 I'm, uh, just catching up on some stuff. 1004 00:34:56,940 --> 00:34:58,174 At 3:00 in the morning? 1005 00:34:58,242 --> 00:34:59,976 Well, I didn't go 1006 00:35:00,043 --> 00:35:01,778 to work today. 1007 00:35:01,845 --> 00:35:03,980 Huh? 1008 00:35:04,047 --> 00:35:06,082 I was dropping the kids off at school, 1009 00:35:06,150 --> 00:35:11,120 and Victor, you know, he didn't want to go. 1010 00:35:11,188 --> 00:35:14,157 He just... it was like he couldn't get out of the car. 1011 00:35:14,224 --> 00:35:15,691 [Sighs] 1012 00:35:15,759 --> 00:35:17,727 Okay, so he didn't go again. 1013 00:35:17,795 --> 00:35:19,162 No, he did go to school. 1014 00:35:19,229 --> 00:35:23,232 But I told him that, if he went in, 1015 00:35:23,300 --> 00:35:27,970 that I would stay outside. 1016 00:35:28,038 --> 00:35:30,206 All day? 1017 00:35:30,274 --> 00:35:31,474 I know. It sounds ridiculous. 1018 00:35:31,542 --> 00:35:34,744 But you should have seen him. 1019 00:35:34,812 --> 00:35:37,213 The whole time that he's been here, 1020 00:35:37,281 --> 00:35:39,382 he's been so tough. 1021 00:35:39,449 --> 00:35:41,751 But I looked in his eyes, 1022 00:35:41,819 --> 00:35:43,319 and he was so scared. 1023 00:35:43,387 --> 00:35:45,755 And it just made me remember that he's a little boy. 1024 00:35:45,823 --> 00:35:49,225 I couldn't leave him like that, and I'm sorry. 1025 00:35:49,293 --> 00:35:52,428 I know we have to put some discipline there 1026 00:35:52,496 --> 00:35:57,333 and establish some boundaries, but I couldn't, you know. 1027 00:36:03,006 --> 00:36:05,341 You're amazing. 1028 00:36:09,213 --> 00:36:10,546 I didn't screw it up? 1029 00:36:10,614 --> 00:36:12,248 No. 1030 00:36:14,785 --> 00:36:16,953 Thanks. 1031 00:36:22,226 --> 00:36:24,227 You're working so hard on this, honey. 1032 00:36:24,294 --> 00:36:25,828 I know. 1033 00:36:29,024 --> 00:36:31,464 Max, it's a big day. You excited? 1034 00:36:31,465 --> 00:36:32,398 - Whoo-hoo! - Puppy time. 1035 00:36:32,466 --> 00:36:34,033 - Puppy time. - Why do we have 1036 00:36:34,101 --> 00:36:35,334 to wait till 4:00? 1037 00:36:35,402 --> 00:36:36,736 I wanna go earlier. Honey, that was my coffee. 1038 00:36:36,803 --> 00:36:38,237 We can go. Sorry, thank you. 1039 00:36:38,305 --> 00:36:39,405 But dad's gonna have to pick you up 1040 00:36:39,473 --> 00:36:40,540 because I have a doctor appointment. 1041 00:36:40,607 --> 00:36:41,874 So I'll just meet you guys there. 1042 00:36:41,942 --> 00:36:43,509 - Well, I have names. - Okay, let's hear 'em. 1043 00:36:43,577 --> 00:36:46,178 All right, for a boy, I like bear or Charlie 1044 00:36:46,246 --> 00:36:47,513 or scout. Ooh, I like scout. 1045 00:36:47,581 --> 00:36:49,849 And for a girl, I like lady 1046 00:36:49,917 --> 00:36:52,118 or ginger. Ginger. 1047 00:36:52,185 --> 00:36:53,452 Right. No ginger. Bachelor party. 1048 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:54,520 Not at all. Not even close. 1049 00:36:54,588 --> 00:36:55,955 - How about... - Ginger's good. 1050 00:36:56,023 --> 00:36:57,323 - It's scout. - How about Buster? 1051 00:36:57,391 --> 00:36:58,624 What time are you picking us up? 1052 00:36:58,692 --> 00:37:00,026 - 3:00 on the nose. - What does a nose 1053 00:37:00,093 --> 00:37:01,761 have anything to do with it? 3:00. 1054 00:37:01,828 --> 00:37:02,929 On the hour. All right. 1055 00:37:02,996 --> 00:37:04,664 Max, a dog is in the house. 1056 00:37:04,731 --> 00:37:06,265 - No, it's not. - Figuratively. 1057 00:37:06,333 --> 00:37:07,900 A dog is in the house. Give me five. 1058 00:37:07,968 --> 00:37:08,968 No, unless you guys went out last night... 1059 00:37:09,036 --> 00:37:10,336 a dog is going to be in the house. 1060 00:37:10,404 --> 00:37:11,370 - All right. - Okay, just... 1061 00:37:11,438 --> 00:37:13,139 whoo! Both: Yes! 1062 00:37:19,546 --> 00:37:21,814 Hey. 1063 00:37:21,882 --> 00:37:23,249 - Hey. - How you doing? 1064 00:37:23,317 --> 00:37:25,284 You feeling all right? Yeah. 1065 00:37:25,352 --> 00:37:27,486 Why did you do that yesterday? 1066 00:37:27,554 --> 00:37:29,789 Why did I stay at school, you mean? 1067 00:37:29,856 --> 00:37:33,092 Yeah. 1068 00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:36,963 Um, well, you know, 1069 00:37:37,030 --> 00:37:38,397 in this family, when we say 1070 00:37:38,465 --> 00:37:41,467 we're gonna do something, we do it. 1071 00:37:41,535 --> 00:37:44,070 Thanks. 1072 00:37:45,405 --> 00:37:48,441 Hey, Victor, come here. 1073 00:37:48,508 --> 00:37:49,442 Hey, come here. Buddy. Okay? 1074 00:37:49,509 --> 00:37:50,910 No, you're... come here. 1075 00:37:53,747 --> 00:37:55,781 Come here. [Giggling] 1076 00:37:55,849 --> 00:37:58,217 I just... Okay, you can stop now. 1077 00:37:58,285 --> 00:38:00,920 Ohh, buddy! Ohh! 1078 00:38:07,928 --> 00:38:10,363 Two things. 1079 00:38:10,430 --> 00:38:14,767 One, don't talk to my son about personal stuff. 1080 00:38:14,835 --> 00:38:17,670 Two... 1081 00:38:17,738 --> 00:38:20,006 Thank you. 1082 00:38:20,073 --> 00:38:23,042 You made me brownies. Hmm. 1083 00:38:23,110 --> 00:38:24,377 Yeah, I... you know. 1084 00:38:24,444 --> 00:38:27,413 Anything in there that's, you know, wacky? 1085 00:38:27,481 --> 00:38:30,082 Ugh. Will you just eat one? 1086 00:38:30,150 --> 00:38:32,918 Now? 1087 00:38:32,986 --> 00:38:35,121 It's early. 1088 00:38:37,624 --> 00:38:40,092 Okay. 1089 00:38:53,106 --> 00:38:54,240 Honestly? 1090 00:38:54,307 --> 00:38:55,441 Mediocre. 1091 00:38:55,509 --> 00:38:56,976 [Sighs] 1092 00:38:57,044 --> 00:38:59,545 Almost. 1093 00:38:59,613 --> 00:39:01,180 - Okay. - But the thought... 1094 00:39:01,248 --> 00:39:02,214 you had the thought in. 1095 00:39:02,282 --> 00:39:04,917 No, no. No, just leave it there. 1096 00:39:07,988 --> 00:39:10,923 [Phone jingling] 1097 00:39:13,860 --> 00:39:15,795 Hmm. 1098 00:39:15,862 --> 00:39:17,229 [Chuckles] 1099 00:39:17,297 --> 00:39:20,499 [Phone buzzes] 1100 00:39:24,271 --> 00:39:26,205 [Phone buzzes] 1101 00:39:26,273 --> 00:39:28,474 She says wake up 1102 00:39:28,542 --> 00:39:30,910 it's no use pretending 1103 00:39:30,977 --> 00:39:31,944 [whistlesfunkytown] 1104 00:39:32,012 --> 00:39:33,612 [Laughing] 1105 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:35,514 You synced our calendars. 1106 00:39:35,582 --> 00:39:36,615 Yes, ma'am. 1107 00:39:36,683 --> 00:39:38,517 [Giggling] 1108 00:39:38,585 --> 00:39:42,455 Are we cool? We cool. 1109 00:39:42,522 --> 00:39:44,123 Okay, we'll start with your left breast. 1110 00:39:44,191 --> 00:39:46,258 So remove your robe. 1111 00:39:46,326 --> 00:39:47,893 Okay, perfect. 1112 00:39:47,961 --> 00:39:49,261 Okay, step right onto the plate. This one? 1113 00:39:49,329 --> 00:39:51,564 Yes, perfect. 1114 00:39:51,631 --> 00:39:52,832 Okay. 1115 00:39:52,899 --> 00:39:56,102 Let's get a little... 1116 00:39:56,169 --> 00:39:57,770 Okay, step in a little closer. 1117 00:39:57,838 --> 00:40:01,207 Perfect. Okay, you're gonna feel a slight pressure. 1118 00:40:01,274 --> 00:40:03,109 [Machinery clicking and whirring] 1119 00:40:03,176 --> 00:40:05,344 Okay, I'm gonna ask you to take a deep breath. 1120 00:40:05,412 --> 00:40:10,015 - Okay. - Don't move. 1121 00:40:10,083 --> 00:40:11,884 Take a deep breath. 1122 00:40:11,952 --> 00:40:14,887 [Machinery clicking] 1123 00:40:21,394 --> 00:40:27,433 She says, if I leave before you, darlin' 1124 00:40:27,501 --> 00:40:33,239 Don't you waste me in the ground 1125 00:40:33,306 --> 00:40:38,310 I lay smilin' like our sleeping children 1126 00:40:38,378 --> 00:40:46,378 One of us will die inside these arms 1127 00:40:46,720 --> 00:40:51,690 Eyes wide open 1128 00:40:51,758 --> 00:40:57,563 naked as we came 1129 00:40:57,631 --> 00:41:03,002 one will spread our 1130 00:41:03,069 --> 00:41:08,374 ashes round the yard 1131 00:41:08,441 --> 00:41:10,041 1132 00:41:10,091 --> 00:41:14,641 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 79993

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.