Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,746 --> 00:00:04,308
Ed, it was three on his right
and two on his left.
2
00:00:04,298 --> 00:00:08,824
No, Chris, it was definitely
one on his left.
3
00:00:08,811 --> 00:00:13,079
Holling, how many toes did Marty
Sorenson lose that time he got frostbite?
4
00:00:13,067 --> 00:00:16,629
Well, let's see. It was one on his
left and two on his right, wasn't it?
5
00:00:16,619 --> 00:00:19,379
Well, I don't believe it.
6
00:00:19,371 --> 00:00:21,296
- Hello, Edna.
- Holling.
7
00:00:21,291 --> 00:00:23,248
Been a while.
Yes, it has.
8
00:00:23,243 --> 00:00:25,970
Fellas, you know Edna Hancock.
9
00:00:25,963 --> 00:00:28,466
Lives over next to Maurice.
10
00:00:28,459 --> 00:00:30,384
Hi.
Well, almost next to him.
11
00:00:30,379 --> 00:00:33,491
What is it, four miles
from door to door?
12
00:00:33,482 --> 00:00:36,468
Five.
Maurice has his 15,000 acres,
13
00:00:36,460 --> 00:00:39,123
- and you have what, Edna, 10?
- Twelve.
14
00:00:39,116 --> 00:00:41,266
12,000 acres. My gosh.
15
00:00:41,260 --> 00:00:43,281
It's good to see ya.
16
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:47,480
I think I still have
some of that single malt you like.
17
00:00:47,468 --> 00:00:49,617
Nobody calls for this very often.
18
00:00:49,611 --> 00:00:52,082
Make it a double?
Too late for that.
19
00:00:52,076 --> 00:00:55,574
I beg your pardon?
Too late for single malt, Holling.
20
00:00:55,564 --> 00:00:57,489
Too late for a lot of things.
21
00:00:57,484 --> 00:01:01,752
l-I don't follow you. I'm running
for mayor, Holling, against you.
22
00:01:01,740 --> 00:01:03,569
Why?
Why?
23
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:06,934
Five years ago, you could
have given me a stop sign.
24
00:01:06,924 --> 00:01:08,849
Now it's too late
for that too.
25
00:01:08,844 --> 00:01:12,727
Five years ago? I was sitting right
here. You said you'd look into it.
26
00:01:12,716 --> 00:01:14,962
But you didn't now,
did you?
27
00:01:14,957 --> 00:01:17,652
Well, l-I must have
forgotten is all, Edna.
28
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:20,083
Well, it won't happen again.
29
00:01:20,077 --> 00:01:22,011
See you on election day.
30
00:02:09,998 --> 00:02:13,335
Friends, Romans, registered voters,
lend me your ears.
31
00:02:13,325 --> 00:02:17,658
Holling Vincoeur has picked up the gauntlet
thrown down by Edna Hancock.
32
00:02:17,646 --> 00:02:19,860
We have a mayoralty race, folks.
33
00:02:19,854 --> 00:02:23,256
To which I can only add,
alea jacta est.
34
00:02:23,246 --> 00:02:25,588
The die is cast,
the battle is joined.
35
00:02:25,582 --> 00:02:29,722
Hold on to your hats, Cicely. We're
about to bear witness to that sacred rite,
36
00:02:29,710 --> 00:02:32,662
when each and every one of us
become acolytes...
37
00:02:32,654 --> 00:02:36,121
before the altar of the ballot box,
our secular shrine.
38
00:02:36,111 --> 00:02:39,062
Fellow Cicelians,
my heart is pounding,
39
00:02:39,054 --> 00:02:41,269
dancing to the drum
of a free people,
40
00:02:41,263 --> 00:02:44,728
a city on a hill,
e pluribus unum.
41
00:02:44,719 --> 00:02:48,603
I feel at one with Whitman,
shepherd of the great unwashed:
42
00:02:48,592 --> 00:02:50,933
"O democracy,
near at hand to you...
43
00:02:50,926 --> 00:02:55,837
a throat is now inflating itself
and joyfully singing."
44
00:02:55,823 --> 00:02:58,807
What exactly am I supposed
to be looking for?
45
00:02:58,799 --> 00:03:01,527
It's not jumping up and down?
46
00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:03,991
Not presently.
47
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:06,390
Well, this morning when I woke up
and looked in the mirror,
48
00:03:06,383 --> 00:03:08,950
it was like I just killed this deerfly,
you know, but it wasn't dead yet,
49
00:03:08,943 --> 00:03:10,868
and its wings were
still flapping around.
50
00:03:10,864 --> 00:03:14,857
l-I believe what you've just described
is a facial tic. Watch my finger.
51
00:03:16,399 --> 00:03:19,287
Okay, a facial tic is a brief,
involuntary contraction of a muscle group.
52
00:03:19,279 --> 00:03:21,429
You ever have one before?
Never.
53
00:03:21,424 --> 00:03:23,350
It's usually the result
of nervous tension.
54
00:03:23,345 --> 00:03:25,686
Have you been experiencing
any unusual stress lately?
55
00:03:25,679 --> 00:03:27,637
A lot.
Yeah?
56
00:03:27,632 --> 00:03:29,974
The stress is related to?
Oh, the election.
57
00:03:29,968 --> 00:03:31,925
The election?
Yep.
58
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:36,349
This election? Yeah. You see, I've never
had a chance to vote before, Dr. Fleischman.
59
00:03:36,336 --> 00:03:38,325
It's a pretty big responsibility.
60
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,245
Well, normally I'd agree
with you, Ed,
61
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:44,348
but in this case, I mean, it's nothing
more than a grudge match over a stop sign.
62
00:03:44,337 --> 00:03:46,262
Two stop signs.
Two?
63
00:03:46,257 --> 00:03:49,819
Yeah, you see, Edna wants a stop sign
to slow down those lumber trucks...
64
00:03:49,809 --> 00:03:51,959
as they come around the curve
near her house.
65
00:03:51,953 --> 00:03:55,162
See, they hit the brakes,
then they work through all the gears.
66
00:03:55,153 --> 00:03:57,174
It's noisy and keeps her awake.
Wait a minute.
67
00:03:57,169 --> 00:04:00,249
There's no intersection? She wants a
stop sign where there's no intersection?
68
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,165
Yeah, but she needs two.
69
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:06,654
You see, last night I was thinking-
a "Prepare To Stop" and then a "Stop."
70
00:04:06,641 --> 00:04:08,566
I couldn't get back to sleep.
71
00:04:08,561 --> 00:04:10,518
I can see where
that might keep a person awake.
72
00:04:10,513 --> 00:04:13,369
Oh, yeah.
Look, Ed.
73
00:04:13,361 --> 00:04:17,116
Until yesterday, I didn't know Holling was
mayor. I didn't even know there was a mayor.
74
00:04:17,106 --> 00:04:19,223
How important can a job be
if no one knows it exists?
75
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,142
Well, there's
a special parking place.
76
00:04:21,137 --> 00:04:24,153
A what? You know, the reserved sign
out in front of Ruth-Anne's store.
77
00:04:24,145 --> 00:04:27,033
Oh, that's what that's for?
Yeah, it's for the mayor.
78
00:04:27,025 --> 00:04:30,588
But everyone parks there. Well, yeah,
but they all know it's for the mayor.
79
00:04:30,578 --> 00:04:33,242
And that doesn't even include
all the other special perks.
80
00:04:33,235 --> 00:04:35,866
Like what? Well, like
the annual date book,
81
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:39,196
the stamp,
the official stationery.
82
00:04:39,186 --> 00:04:41,657
Oh, it's pretty
intoxicating stuff.
83
00:04:41,651 --> 00:04:47,299
Yeah. Holling has been the mayor of
Cicely, well, ever since I was born.
84
00:04:47,282 --> 00:04:50,203
Well, look, I appreciate
the history involved here,
85
00:04:50,195 --> 00:04:53,693
but, um, it's not like an election
is a once-in-a-lifetime event.
86
00:04:53,683 --> 00:04:55,672
Well, there's never been
one here before.
87
00:04:55,667 --> 00:04:57,912
What do you mean?
88
00:04:57,906 --> 00:05:00,827
Well, everyone's just always
wanted Holling to be mayor,
89
00:05:00,819 --> 00:05:03,867
so, well, Holling's
always just been mayor.
90
00:05:03,859 --> 00:05:06,747
You mean there's never
been a vote? Uh-uh.
91
00:05:06,739 --> 00:05:09,499
Ever?
Nope.
92
00:05:09,491 --> 00:05:12,828
Unbelievable. I've discovered the
Brigadoon of electoral politics.
93
00:05:12,819 --> 00:05:15,226
So what am I gonna do now,
Dr. Fleischman?
94
00:05:15,219 --> 00:05:17,914
About what?
My tic.
95
00:05:17,907 --> 00:05:21,598
Well, vote. It should
clear up Tuesday. Oh.
96
00:05:21,587 --> 00:05:24,282
Hell, I never asked for the job.
97
00:05:24,275 --> 00:05:27,227
I never asked to be mayor. I know.
98
00:05:27,219 --> 00:05:31,616
People asked me. I wasn't
looking for power and glory.
99
00:05:31,603 --> 00:05:36,417
I couldn't have cared less. But still, all
in all, I think I did a pretty decent job.
100
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:39,130
You've done a dynamite job, babe.
101
00:05:39,123 --> 00:05:43,970
Did I ask Edna Hancock to build
her house near a major thoroughfare?
102
00:05:43,956 --> 00:05:47,774
I've known the woman since the first
day she set foot here 25 years ago.
103
00:05:47,763 --> 00:05:51,037
Never in all of that time has
an unkind word passed between us.
104
00:05:51,028 --> 00:05:53,628
But let me forget one thing,
she turns on me,
105
00:05:53,621 --> 00:05:55,866
like a grizzly smelling blood
on the wind.
106
00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:57,818
Holling?
What?
107
00:05:57,813 --> 00:06:02,498
I know you've got power and greed and
ambition on your mind, and that's cool.
108
00:06:02,484 --> 00:06:05,854
It's more than cool.
It's a total turn-on.
109
00:06:05,845 --> 00:06:09,343
But see if you can't fit some time
for you and me to slide around.
110
00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:14,757
All this wheeling and dealing
is making my knees likeJell-O.
111
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:17,232
One-eyed jack.
Excuse me, Shelly.
112
00:06:19,798 --> 00:06:22,557
May I ask you something, Maggie?
Fire away, Ed.
113
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:25,597
Okay. In an election, how
do you know who to vote for?
114
00:06:25,589 --> 00:06:27,611
Hmm. Well, it's
kind of complicated.
115
00:06:27,605 --> 00:06:30,750
First, read the literature.
Then listen to the speeches.
116
00:06:30,742 --> 00:06:32,667
But eventually,
you just have to go with your gut.
117
00:06:32,662 --> 00:06:34,220
My gut.
Yeah.
118
00:06:34,230 --> 00:06:36,732
Look each candidate
in the eye, you know,
119
00:06:36,725 --> 00:06:40,640
and try to figure out which one is least
likely to become an unprincipled sleaze bucket.
120
00:06:40,629 --> 00:06:43,582
That's totally ridiculous, O'Connell.
You vote for a strong leader,
121
00:06:43,574 --> 00:06:45,787
someone who represents your views. Oh.
122
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:49,055
Excuse me?
I don't have any views.
123
00:06:49,046 --> 00:06:52,961
Well, in that case, you fall back
on your candidate's party affiliations.
124
00:06:52,950 --> 00:06:55,549
Okay.
What are they?
125
00:06:55,542 --> 00:06:57,467
Well, are you a Democrat
or a Republican, Ed?
126
00:06:57,462 --> 00:07:00,992
I don't know.
What are you, Dr. Fleischman?
127
00:07:00,982 --> 00:07:04,513
Well, I like to think of myself as a guilt-free
thinker, but, in fact, I mostly vote Republican.
128
00:07:04,503 --> 00:07:07,551
- Figures.
- What is that supposed to mean?
129
00:07:07,542 --> 00:07:09,820
Oh, nothing. Just another in a long
line of disappointments, I suppose.
130
00:07:09,814 --> 00:07:12,349
But I guess it goes along
with argyle socks and the golf clubs.
131
00:07:12,343 --> 00:07:14,621
Oh, great. Nothing like getting
beneath the surface, O'Connell.
132
00:07:14,614 --> 00:07:17,759
You sound a little defensive, Fleischman.
What's the problem? I touched a nerve?
133
00:07:17,751 --> 00:07:20,318
I'm not defensive. I happen to be
very proud of my political position.
134
00:07:20,311 --> 00:07:22,621
I think it takes a lot of guts
to voice the unfashionable,
135
00:07:22,615 --> 00:07:24,893
to go against the tide
of one's peers.
136
00:07:24,887 --> 00:07:28,674
Do you realize how many Republicans live on the
Upper West Side? Yeah, you're lookin' at him.
137
00:07:28,663 --> 00:07:32,258
Yeah, well, it takes a lot of guts to cut programs
for the poor and give tax breaks to the rich.
138
00:07:32,248 --> 00:07:36,580
Oh, spare me the bleeding heart. At least I don't vote out
of some misplaced sense of guilt over growing up with money.
139
00:07:36,567 --> 00:07:39,166
Fleischman, you don't even know what you're
talking about. My parents are Democrats.
140
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,758
We are very pro-labor. Right. I'm
sure you spent your weekends...
141
00:07:41,751 --> 00:07:44,030
at the Grosse Point Country Club
discussing minimum wage.
142
00:07:44,024 --> 00:07:47,200
Well, you know, it's obvious you're running
from your- your working-class background...
143
00:07:47,191 --> 00:07:49,116
and trying to pass yourself off
as something you're not.
144
00:07:49,111 --> 00:07:51,550
I'm not running from anything. But I got news
for you and your liberal suburban friends.
145
00:07:51,544 --> 00:07:54,752
There's nothing special or particularly
ennobling about not having money.
146
00:07:54,743 --> 00:07:58,306
Me, me, me. My, my, my. Self-interest
isn't a crime, O'Connell.
147
00:07:58,296 --> 00:08:00,253
I worked my butt off
to be a doctor.
148
00:08:00,248 --> 00:08:03,874
I didn't spend four years in medical school, one
year in internship and two years in residency...
149
00:08:03,863 --> 00:08:07,907
just to be plugged into some system of socialized
medicine that tells me what I can and cannot charge.
150
00:08:07,896 --> 00:08:11,490
Yeah, when my sentence is up, I plan to go
home and charge whatever the market will bear.
151
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:14,144
Yeah, I want my piece of
the pie. I want my money.
152
00:08:14,137 --> 00:08:16,503
Yeah, a self-serving,
materialistic pig.
153
00:08:17,528 --> 00:08:19,453
Self-serving Republican pig.
154
00:08:19,448 --> 00:08:21,439
Thank you very much.
155
00:08:24,345 --> 00:08:27,104
Edna?
156
00:08:27,096 --> 00:08:30,370
Edna, I'd like to speak with you
a minute if you don't mind.
157
00:08:30,361 --> 00:08:32,799
What is it?
158
00:08:32,793 --> 00:08:35,713
You and I have known each other
a long time, Edna.
159
00:08:35,705 --> 00:08:38,529
I think it'd be a shame
to let a friendship fall apart...
160
00:08:38,521 --> 00:08:41,184
over a silly thing
like a stop sign.
161
00:08:41,177 --> 00:08:43,423
There's a principle involved.
I know that.
162
00:08:43,417 --> 00:08:46,723
But don't you think you're
taking it a little too far? Nope.
163
00:08:46,713 --> 00:08:50,211
What, you think I haven't been
a good mayor then?
164
00:08:50,202 --> 00:08:54,213
Generally I'd say the town is no better
or worse off than the day I arrived.
165
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:57,250
What do you want then?
You lied to me, Holling.
166
00:08:57,242 --> 00:09:00,804
I did not lie, Edna.
I forgot.
167
00:09:00,794 --> 00:09:05,800
When your freezer broke, and you needed
an emergency generator, did I forget?
168
00:09:05,785 --> 00:09:08,513
Worst rainstorm 1976,
169
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:10,559
roads washed out,
did I forget?
170
00:09:10,553 --> 00:09:13,826
Edna, that was 16 years ago.
171
00:09:13,817 --> 00:09:16,995
That's right, it was,
and I still remember.
172
00:09:16,986 --> 00:09:19,135
I remember.
All right, all right.
173
00:09:19,130 --> 00:09:23,977
I admit I may have exhibited
a lapse in character-
174
00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:27,043
a minor, temporary lapse-
but a lapse.
175
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:32,169
And although your request for a stop
sign is peculiar without a question,
176
00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:35,459
I'm willing to face up to my mistake
and make amends.
177
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:39,591
I apologize, Edna, and I promise
you I'll get you that stop sign.
178
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,883
Too late.
I said I was sorry.
179
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,603
You had your chance.
Well, now, Edna, hold on.
180
00:09:45,596 --> 00:09:48,965
Now, Holling, if you've finished
your whelping, I've got a race to run.
181
00:09:48,955 --> 00:09:52,003
I'm the mayor, Edna.
Me, not you.
182
00:09:51,995 --> 00:09:55,236
People like me.
They trust me.
183
00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:59,061
I guess we'll find out
on Tuesday, won't we?
184
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:07,916
This is Chris in the Morning, continuing the K-Bear
Election Countdown to Mayor with some special announcements.
185
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:12,745
Bea Gormley is holding a candidate's tea for
Edna Hancock this afternoon at her house at 2:00.
186
00:10:12,731 --> 00:10:15,940
The public is welcome. And Holling
Vincoeur will be special guest...
187
00:10:15,931 --> 00:10:19,815
of the Vikings'Eating Club tonight
at 8:00 p.m. over at the Moose Hall.
188
00:10:19,804 --> 00:10:23,301
There's a change in the scheduled program,
so call Dennis Lundgren for more info.
189
00:10:23,291 --> 00:10:28,041
And keep that radio tuned right where
it is on K-Bear 570 on your A.M. dial.
190
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:32,007
The radio station of the people,
by the people and for the people.
191
00:10:31,995 --> 00:10:35,622
You know, Chris does have a tendency
to wrap himself in the flag.
192
00:10:35,612 --> 00:10:38,275
I think he's overcompensating
for his criminal past.
193
00:10:38,268 --> 00:10:40,193
Well, it's not just Chris, Ruth-Anne.
It's everyone.
194
00:10:40,188 --> 00:10:42,915
I can't believe the amount of time and
energy being wasted on a two-bit election...
195
00:10:42,908 --> 00:10:45,251
over a two-bit issue
in a two-bit town.
196
00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:47,169
How many bits is that?
197
00:10:47,164 --> 00:10:50,726
Uh, it's all relative, Joel.
I'm sure that this pales...
198
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:55,884
compared with the Tammany Hall antics that
you're accustomed to, but it's all we've got.
199
00:10:55,869 --> 00:10:57,794
Boss Tweed was a little
before my time, Ruth-Anne.
200
00:10:57,789 --> 00:11:00,484
Al D'Amato's more like it.
In fact, I, uh- I worked on his campaign.
201
00:11:00,477 --> 00:11:02,948
Oh, you did? I certainly
did. Yeah, it was a blast.
202
00:11:02,941 --> 00:11:05,796
Someone got a hold
of the Democratic election schedule, right?
203
00:11:05,788 --> 00:11:08,227
We'd go around, rip down their
stuff, put up ours, killed them.
204
00:11:08,221 --> 00:11:09,984
Totally destroyed 'em.
205
00:11:09,980 --> 00:11:15,533
Um, Joel, after careful consideration,
I'm naming you election commissioner.
206
00:11:15,517 --> 00:11:18,019
What? As town clerk, one of my jobs...
207
00:11:18,012 --> 00:11:19,937
is to appoint election officials,
208
00:11:19,933 --> 00:11:22,115
so I've just made you
election commissioner.
209
00:11:22,109 --> 00:11:24,740
I don't wanna be election commissioner.
What does election commissioner do?
210
00:11:24,733 --> 00:11:28,328
You make sure that everything
is done properly and above board.
211
00:11:28,317 --> 00:11:30,467
- Thanks. I decline.
- You can't.
212
00:11:30,462 --> 00:11:33,767
- What do you mean? I just did.
- You can't. It's your civic duty.
213
00:11:33,758 --> 00:11:36,005
Ruth-Anne, I'm busy.
I happen to be very, very busy.
214
00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:41,486
Okay, fine.
That'll be $243.52.
215
00:11:41,470 --> 00:11:45,450
For a package of dental floss? That and
the balance on your account comes to...
216
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:48,326
$243.52.
217
00:11:48,318 --> 00:11:50,596
Cash on the barrelhead.
218
00:11:50,590 --> 00:11:52,772
What happened to my credit line?
It just ran out.
219
00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:56,225
You're joking.
Ruth-Anne, this is extortion.
220
00:11:57,886 --> 00:12:00,037
All right, all right, fine, look.
Okay, Ruth-Anne, look.
221
00:12:00,031 --> 00:12:03,689
Yes, all right, I will be election
whatchmacallit if it means that much to you.
222
00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,957
Only if I can do
the minimum possible.
223
00:12:05,951 --> 00:12:08,486
I knew you'd come around.
224
00:12:08,479 --> 00:12:10,436
Ruth-Anne, I don't understand
this campaign bylaw, do you?
225
00:12:10,431 --> 00:12:13,127
Excuse me?
Oh, you.
226
00:12:13,119 --> 00:12:15,718
If you have any questions
about protocol, Maggie, askJoel.
227
00:12:15,711 --> 00:12:18,942
- Why him?
- He's our new election commissioner.
228
00:12:19,935 --> 00:12:22,662
You're kidding. That's what I said,
and she took away my credit line.
229
00:12:22,655 --> 00:12:25,351
Maggie is the chairman
of the election committee.
230
00:12:25,343 --> 00:12:28,552
Wh-What's the difference between election
commissioner and chairman of the election committee?
231
00:12:28,543 --> 00:12:31,624
The charter's a little obscure
on that point.
232
00:12:31,616 --> 00:12:35,787
But as far as I can make out,
the chairman makes the arrangements,
233
00:12:35,775 --> 00:12:38,567
and the commissioner
oversees those arrangements.
234
00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:40,420
You mean I have to submit
everything for his approval?
235
00:12:40,416 --> 00:12:42,405
Absolutely not.
236
00:12:42,399 --> 00:12:45,383
- Why not?
- She wouldn't stand for it, and neither would I.
237
00:12:45,375 --> 00:12:48,742
Oh, good. I'm glad to see we're
going by the book here. That's right.
238
00:12:50,112 --> 00:12:54,220
So, I go over there. She's
the one who owes me an apology.
239
00:12:54,209 --> 00:12:58,220
But I extend the olive branch,
tell her she can have her stop sign.
240
00:12:58,208 --> 00:13:01,995
What does she do? Throws the
whole thing back in my face.
241
00:13:01,985 --> 00:13:04,808
Yeah, that sounds like Edna.
242
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:08,298
You can laugh, George, but the
woman is assassinating my character.
243
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,213
Oh, come on, Holling.
244
00:13:10,208 --> 00:13:14,284
Everyone knows that Edna
just sets her jaw now and again.
245
00:13:14,272 --> 00:13:16,454
No one takes her too serious.
246
00:13:16,449 --> 00:13:19,690
You don't think so?
Hell no. You're a shoo-in.
247
00:13:19,681 --> 00:13:22,472
You think?
You got everyone's vote.
248
00:13:22,464 --> 00:13:25,224
Not mine,
but everyone else's I'm sure.
249
00:13:25,216 --> 00:13:28,426
Why not yours?
I think I'll go for the little lady.
250
00:13:28,417 --> 00:13:30,342
But why?
251
00:13:30,337 --> 00:13:33,898
I just can't get worked up
about voting for you.
252
00:13:33,888 --> 00:13:39,569
Worked up? What's getting into a
lather got to do with you voting for me?
253
00:13:39,553 --> 00:13:43,341
Well, you remember that Dodge I used
to drive with the simulated-wood trim?
254
00:13:43,330 --> 00:13:47,181
Yeah. I loved that car.
Had it for 17 years.
255
00:13:47,170 --> 00:13:52,304
When it finally gave up the ghost,
I said, "I'm gonna get me another Dodge."
256
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:56,332
I went to the dealer, had an
almost-good-as-new one all picked out.
257
00:13:56,321 --> 00:13:59,916
But somehow I just couldn't
get excited about it.
258
00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:02,248
So I went with a Chevy.
259
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:06,302
Well, that's how it is with me,
with you and Edna.
260
00:14:07,170 --> 00:14:09,288
You got the wife's vote though.
261
00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:11,336
How come?
262
00:14:11,330 --> 00:14:13,992
She says you can't trust women.
263
00:14:19,491 --> 00:14:21,416
Look, Fleischman, you don't wanna
do this. I don't wanna do this.
264
00:14:21,411 --> 00:14:23,849
So let's just do it, okay?
Fine with me.
265
00:14:23,842 --> 00:14:26,794
I am amazed at the bureaucratic
machinery required to stage...
266
00:14:26,786 --> 00:14:29,803
such a totally meaningless event.
267
00:14:29,795 --> 00:14:33,036
It's a joke. You don't think
who's mayor is important?
268
00:14:33,027 --> 00:14:35,947
No, I don't. The town charter clearly
gives the city council all the power.
269
00:14:35,939 --> 00:14:40,207
And from what I can determine, all they do is
argue over taxes once a year, get drunk and go home.
270
00:14:40,195 --> 00:14:43,597
Great. You're the election commissioner,
and you think the whole thing is pointless.
271
00:14:43,587 --> 00:14:46,250
The election is pointless.
I mean, the outcome anyway.
272
00:14:46,243 --> 00:14:48,682
The election itself
may actually be quite fascinating.
273
00:14:48,675 --> 00:14:50,729
What are you talking about?
274
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:53,932
Demographics.
What?
275
00:14:53,923 --> 00:14:57,421
Gender, race, age,
income, religious beliefs,
276
00:14:57,411 --> 00:15:00,235
all those little hash marks
on the game board of society.
277
00:15:00,227 --> 00:15:04,528
Look, the person who panders to the right cross
section of voters walks away with the pork barrel.
278
00:15:04,516 --> 00:15:08,077
What? You know, elections
have always fascinated me.
279
00:15:08,067 --> 00:15:12,143
As a kid, I used to memorize election results
the way other kids memorized batting averages.
280
00:15:12,131 --> 00:15:16,657
Ask me about any presidential election
in the last 50 years. Go ahead.
281
00:15:16,644 --> 00:15:18,569
Don't be ridiculous.
Come on.
282
00:15:18,564 --> 00:15:20,489
Don't be childish.
Fifty bucks.
283
00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:23,307
Kennedy versus Nixon.
Uh, let's see.
284
00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:26,316
Kennedy, 303 electoral votes,
Nixon, 219.
285
00:15:26,307 --> 00:15:29,774
Popular vote?
Kennedy, 49.9%, Nixon, 49.6.
286
00:15:29,765 --> 00:15:31,690
Bravo.
Thank you.
287
00:15:31,685 --> 00:15:35,214
For your information, Fleischman,
elections are more than just statistics.
288
00:15:35,204 --> 00:15:38,092
It's- It's emotions,
people, ceremony.
289
00:15:38,084 --> 00:15:40,876
You make it sound like a wedding.
Well, it is like a wedding.
290
00:15:40,868 --> 00:15:45,490
Sort of. Well, look, we come together in the
sight of God to commemorate an important event.
291
00:15:45,477 --> 00:15:49,071
And in that respect it's like a wedding. And
like a wedding, there should be a certain decorum.
292
00:15:49,061 --> 00:15:51,628
I mean, Mother said the appearance
should always be memorable.
293
00:15:51,621 --> 00:15:54,445
Let me guess. Mother was very
big in the League of Women Voters.
294
00:15:54,437 --> 00:15:59,893
I don't have to take abuse from someone who spent
his entire childhood memorizing the electoral college.
295
00:15:59,877 --> 00:16:01,706
No, it was not my entire childhood.
296
00:16:01,701 --> 00:16:05,680
The way a polling place looks is important,
whether you think so or not.
297
00:16:05,669 --> 00:16:09,071
- Why do you wear a tie, smart guy?
- I happen to like ties.
298
00:16:09,061 --> 00:16:11,468
It's a symbol, Fleischman.
Your glasses, your tie.
299
00:16:11,462 --> 00:16:13,547
It's all to promote
a certain image,
300
00:16:13,542 --> 00:16:16,173
that of someone who's serious,
mature, professional...
301
00:16:16,165 --> 00:16:19,887
so that people don't see the immature,
spoiled creep lurking inside the outer garment.
302
00:16:19,877 --> 00:16:24,242
Another deep thought from a woman who thinks an
election should be conducted like a fashion layout.
303
00:16:24,229 --> 00:16:28,402
I am not a shallow, insubstantial person just
because I think appearances matter. They do matter.
304
00:16:28,390 --> 00:16:31,053
Fine. You order the dinner napkins,
and I'll handle the ballots.
305
00:16:31,046 --> 00:16:32,206
Fine.
Good.
306
00:16:32,231 --> 00:16:33,357
Good.
Fine.
307
00:16:34,278 --> 00:16:36,524
Don't forget the lace doilies.
308
00:16:36,518 --> 00:16:38,443
Hello, Maggie.
Holling.
309
00:16:38,438 --> 00:16:40,395
Hey, Holling, what's up?
310
00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:42,315
Just came to talk
a little politics, Joel.
311
00:16:42,310 --> 00:16:45,840
Oh, look. Um, I understand
your need to lobby for my vote.
312
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:48,172
After all, the town doctor
is an influential figure.
313
00:16:48,166 --> 00:16:51,921
But, um, being election commissioner,
I'm afraid I have to remain above the fray.
314
00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:54,605
Actually, Joel, I was hoping
to talk with Marilyn.
315
00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:56,973
Oh.
316
00:16:56,967 --> 00:16:59,149
In private, if you don't mind.
317
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:03,026
Yeah, no problem.
318
00:17:03,015 --> 00:17:05,210
Thank you, Joel.
I'll only be a minute.
319
00:17:09,735 --> 00:17:11,660
Marilyn?
Yes.
320
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:15,089
I have been doing
some unofficial polling,
321
00:17:15,079 --> 00:17:19,860
and it appears that a considerable number
of people are thinking of voting for Edna.
322
00:17:19,847 --> 00:17:22,839
I know.
You do?
323
00:17:25,192 --> 00:17:28,400
Well, it has crossed my mind
that this election actually may be closer...
324
00:17:28,391 --> 00:17:31,857
than one might have
reasonably expected.
325
00:17:31,847 --> 00:17:33,933
I know.
326
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:37,940
Marilyn, I have always considered myself
to be a friend of the Indian people.
327
00:17:37,928 --> 00:17:43,158
Now, what I was wondering
was whether the, uh, Indian people...
328
00:17:43,143 --> 00:17:47,251
consider themselves
to be friends to me.
329
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:51,091
Uh, what I mean is-
Will we vote for you?
330
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,519
Yes.
Some of us.
331
00:17:53,512 --> 00:17:55,437
Maybe.
332
00:17:55,432 --> 00:17:58,492
Could you be a bit more specific?
333
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,988
Well, is there anything that the, uh
- the tribes would like to discuss with me?
334
00:18:03,977 --> 00:18:07,828
I mean, some sort of problem
or other?
335
00:18:07,817 --> 00:18:09,742
I'll think about it.
336
00:18:09,737 --> 00:18:12,786
Well, um,
let me just ask, Marilyn.
337
00:18:12,777 --> 00:18:15,825
Um, as far as you yourself
are concerned,
338
00:18:15,817 --> 00:18:19,572
have you made up your mind
as to how you are going to vote?
339
00:18:19,561 --> 00:18:21,743
Yes.
340
00:18:21,737 --> 00:18:23,662
And?
341
00:18:23,657 --> 00:18:25,591
It's personal.
342
00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:31,730
My friends, today
when I look out over Cicely,
343
00:18:31,721 --> 00:18:36,086
I see not a town, but a nation's
history written in miniature.
344
00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:41,658
Inscribed in the cracked pavement,
reverberating from every passing flatbed.
345
00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:45,204
Today, every runny nose I see
says "America" to me.
346
00:18:45,194 --> 00:18:48,115
We were outcasts, scum,
347
00:18:48,107 --> 00:18:50,801
the wretched debris
of a hostile, aging world.
348
00:18:50,793 --> 00:18:54,099
But we came here,
we paved roads, we built industries,
349
00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:56,529
powerful institutions.
350
00:18:56,522 --> 00:19:00,533
Of course, along the way, we
exterminated untold indigenous cultures...
351
00:19:00,522 --> 00:19:04,181
and enslaved generations of Africans.
352
00:19:04,171 --> 00:19:06,641
We basically stained
our star-spangled banner...
353
00:19:06,634 --> 00:19:10,293
with a host of sins
that can never be washed clean.
354
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:15,964
But today, we're here to celebrate
the glorious aspects of our past.
355
00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:18,257
A tribute to a nation
of free people,
356
00:19:18,251 --> 00:19:20,310
the country
that Whitman exalted.
357
00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:26,225
"The genius of the United States...
358
00:19:26,218 --> 00:19:30,519
"is not best or most
in its executives or legislators,
359
00:19:30,507 --> 00:19:33,010
"nor in its ambassadors
or authors...
360
00:19:33,003 --> 00:19:36,373
"or colleges or churches
or parlors,
361
00:19:36,364 --> 00:19:40,472
"nor even in its newspapers
or inventors,
362
00:19:40,460 --> 00:19:43,020
but always most
in the common people."
363
00:19:44,971 --> 00:19:47,633
I've never been so proud
to be a Cicelian.
364
00:19:48,524 --> 00:19:52,255
I must go out now and fill my lungs
with the deep clean air of democracy.
365
00:20:04,460 --> 00:20:06,481
Eduardo, my friend.
366
00:20:06,476 --> 00:20:09,653
Hello, Chris.
Something wrong?
367
00:20:09,644 --> 00:20:13,077
Well, I'm a little troubled.
I've been reading up.
368
00:20:13,068 --> 00:20:16,342
And you know, like,
the Declaration of Independence, okay?
369
00:20:16,332 --> 00:20:22,012
It says, "The government shall derive its
just powers from the consent of the governed."
370
00:20:21,996 --> 00:20:24,403
That's a pretty basic concept,
uh, majority rules.
371
00:20:24,396 --> 00:20:26,321
Okay, okay, now.
372
00:20:26,316 --> 00:20:29,365
De Tocqueville says,
373
00:20:29,357 --> 00:20:35,005
"The greatest danger to the American republic
comes from the omnipotence of the majority."
374
00:20:34,989 --> 00:20:37,363
Yeah, pretty interesting Frog,
that Alexis, huh?
375
00:20:37,356 --> 00:20:40,148
Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
Thoreau-
376
00:20:40,141 --> 00:20:44,666
Now Thoreau says, "Any man
more right than his neighbors...
377
00:20:44,653 --> 00:20:46,578
constitutes a majority of one."
378
00:20:46,573 --> 00:20:50,264
Civil disobedience. Man's
last refuge against the state.
379
00:20:50,253 --> 00:20:52,564
So, who's right?
380
00:20:52,558 --> 00:20:55,252
Well, they all are.
Really?
381
00:20:55,245 --> 00:20:57,621
Yeah.
Oh.
382
00:20:57,614 --> 00:20:59,698
So who are you gonna vote for?
383
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:03,352
Well, as an on-air personality,
I've pledged neutrality.
384
00:21:03,341 --> 00:21:07,866
You know, but an election's more of an
abstract, noncompetitive thing for me anyway.
385
00:21:07,853 --> 00:21:09,649
Oh. Why?
386
00:21:09,645 --> 00:21:14,396
Well, Ed, the idea of an election is much more
interesting to me than the election itself.
387
00:21:14,382 --> 00:21:17,623
You see, the act of voting...
388
00:21:17,614 --> 00:21:20,277
is in itself
the defining moment.
389
00:21:20,270 --> 00:21:22,837
You know what I mean, Ed?
390
00:21:22,830 --> 00:21:25,815
But to answer your question,
I'm not gonna vote. I can't.
391
00:21:25,807 --> 00:21:27,732
You can't vote?
No.
392
00:21:27,727 --> 00:21:30,743
Why?
I'm a convicted felon, Ed.
393
00:21:30,734 --> 00:21:34,039
I jumped parole in '87, so they
kind of closed the book on me.
394
00:21:34,030 --> 00:21:37,864
Oh, I'm sorry, Chris.
That's all right.
395
00:21:45,775 --> 00:21:48,182
Free beer, fellas.
396
00:21:48,175 --> 00:21:51,320
On the house.
Step right up.
397
00:21:51,312 --> 00:21:55,837
Just don't forget
where you got it on Tuesday.
398
00:21:55,823 --> 00:21:59,481
Holling, I can't stand it anymore.
You gotta take me.
399
00:21:59,471 --> 00:22:01,942
Take you where?
Upstairs.
400
00:22:01,936 --> 00:22:05,030
Here, on the bar, anywhere.
I don't care.
401
00:22:05,935 --> 00:22:08,791
Just take me.
Shelly, pull yourself together.
402
00:22:08,783 --> 00:22:12,185
I can't think about sex
with a bar full of registered voters.
403
00:22:12,176 --> 00:22:16,155
Oh, I'm dying, babe. Shelly, this
is the political fight of my life.
404
00:22:16,143 --> 00:22:21,310
l-There is no way that I can think
about hanky-panky at this point in time.
405
00:22:21,295 --> 00:22:23,381
Oh, hello, Ruth-Anne. How about
a free beer? It's on the house.
406
00:22:23,376 --> 00:22:25,750
No, no, no more, Holling.
407
00:22:25,744 --> 00:22:28,665
- There's been a complaint.
- Complaint? By who?
408
00:22:28,657 --> 00:22:31,416
Me. You can't give away
free beer.
409
00:22:31,408 --> 00:22:34,264
- Oh, hang on.
- Look at the charter, Holling.
410
00:22:34,256 --> 00:22:39,327
Of course, the word of law doesn't mean much
to a man who's evaded taxes for 32 years.
411
00:22:39,312 --> 00:22:43,002
Now just slow down a minute, Edna.
Nobody is evading anything.
412
00:22:42,992 --> 00:22:46,426
It was- It was just a misunderstanding
between me and the I.R.S. is all.
413
00:22:46,416 --> 00:22:49,625
Which, by the way, will
be paid in full. Yeah.
414
00:22:49,616 --> 00:22:53,307
Naturally, I respect the law
like everybody else.
415
00:22:53,297 --> 00:22:58,142
Just didn't know there was some stupid rule about
not letting people have a good time at elections.
416
00:22:58,128 --> 00:23:01,820
Thank you for enlightening me.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
417
00:23:01,810 --> 00:23:04,210
I've got a business to run.
418
00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:11,290
Here you go.
Tell me something.
419
00:23:11,281 --> 00:23:13,476
I'm not a vengeful person,
am I, Maurice?
420
00:23:15,282 --> 00:23:18,780
You have your bellicose moments,
Holling, but, uh, on the whole,
421
00:23:18,770 --> 00:23:21,979
I'd say you exhibit
a mild-mannered demeanor.
422
00:23:21,970 --> 00:23:25,211
Why?
Maurice.
423
00:23:25,202 --> 00:23:30,626
Two days ago, if Edna Hancock
had been elected mayor,
424
00:23:30,610 --> 00:23:32,792
I might have been able
to live with it.
425
00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:37,792
Today, I'd rather
be treed by hounds.
426
00:23:37,778 --> 00:23:42,720
I don't just want to
beat Edna Hancock,
427
00:23:42,706 --> 00:23:45,819
I want to destroy her.
428
00:23:45,810 --> 00:23:48,698
I want to fold her in two.
429
00:23:48,690 --> 00:23:51,022
I want to make her suffer.
430
00:23:53,042 --> 00:23:54,967
Can I get you anything else?
431
00:23:54,962 --> 00:23:56,862
No.
432
00:24:03,315 --> 00:24:05,240
Okay, uh, move it to the right.
What?
433
00:24:05,235 --> 00:24:07,160
Left.
All right.
434
00:24:07,155 --> 00:24:09,080
Uh, too much.
435
00:24:09,075 --> 00:24:12,188
Okay, up.
Up? More up?
436
00:24:12,179 --> 00:24:14,328
Yeah, over a little.
Where?
437
00:24:14,322 --> 00:24:16,954
Um, down.
It was down.
438
00:24:16,947 --> 00:24:20,766
Okay, okay, hold it there.
Let me look.
439
00:24:20,755 --> 00:24:22,680
O'Connell, my arms
are killing me!
440
00:24:22,675 --> 00:24:25,049
All right, move it over a little.
Look.
441
00:24:25,043 --> 00:24:27,770
Over is a preposition.
It is not a direction.
442
00:24:27,763 --> 00:24:29,688
Hey, what are you doing?
It's done. I'm finished.
443
00:24:29,683 --> 00:24:32,186
It's not level. It's not supposed
to be level. It's bunting.
444
00:24:32,179 --> 00:24:35,067
It's supposed to drape. It's
bunting drapes. All right, all right.
445
00:24:35,059 --> 00:24:38,173
Okay, what do you think for the
podium, huh? Royal blue or aquamarine?
446
00:24:38,164 --> 00:24:41,340
You know, I think you've lost your mind.
It's a debate, not a cotillion.
447
00:24:41,331 --> 00:24:44,990
Fleischman, for once in your life,
can you just pretend to be a human being?
448
00:24:44,980 --> 00:24:47,931
Do you think anyone actually cares
what color crepe paper you use?
449
00:24:47,923 --> 00:24:51,486
Yes. They may not realize it,
but color creates a mood, a feeling.
450
00:24:51,476 --> 00:24:53,401
Oh, well, maybe
we should have piped in music.
451
00:24:53,396 --> 00:24:55,866
Maybe we should. What's
color anyway, huh, Fleischman?
452
00:24:55,859 --> 00:24:59,743
Look. Are we seriously gonna have an argument
over the nature of the color spectrum?
453
00:24:59,732 --> 00:25:02,234
Light. Color is light.
I'll take your word for it.
454
00:25:02,228 --> 00:25:06,401
And light is energy. Different colors are
light traveling at different frequencies.
455
00:25:06,389 --> 00:25:09,405
You change the color of the room,
you change the mood.
456
00:25:09,396 --> 00:25:11,224
Wait, I'll go and get my crystals.
457
00:25:11,220 --> 00:25:14,655
You can't admit I'm right just
because I'm a woman. Right about what?
458
00:25:14,645 --> 00:25:17,790
It's not like everything can be reduced
to a question of glands, O'Connell.
459
00:25:17,781 --> 00:25:19,112
No?
No.
460
00:25:19,125 --> 00:25:23,168
Let me tell you something. If a man had asked for that
stop sign, it would have been done a long time ago.
461
00:25:23,157 --> 00:25:25,307
What? Why do you think
we're here, Fleischman?
462
00:25:25,301 --> 00:25:27,611
What do you think this is all about?
Empowerment.
463
00:25:27,605 --> 00:25:29,883
Empowerment? And the more
Edna Hancocks we have,
464
00:25:29,877 --> 00:25:31,867
the fewerJoel Fleischmans
we have to listen to.
465
00:25:31,861 --> 00:25:34,780
Oh.
466
00:25:34,772 --> 00:25:37,179
"Fellow citizens,
we cannot escape history.
467
00:25:37,173 --> 00:25:39,195
"The fiery trial
through which we pass...
468
00:25:39,190 --> 00:25:43,201
will light us down, in honor
or dishonor, to the last generation."
469
00:25:43,189 --> 00:25:45,114
Abe Lincoln,
ladies and gentlemen.
470
00:25:45,109 --> 00:25:48,222
But the sentiment goes ditto
for your K-Bear correspondent.
471
00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:50,877
Democracy is not
a spectator sport.
472
00:25:50,869 --> 00:25:54,817
That means your presence is gonna be
required tonight at the candidates' debate.
473
00:25:54,806 --> 00:25:58,304
Be worthy of your heritage.
It's likeJustice Holmes said,
474
00:25:58,294 --> 00:26:00,475
"It is required that a man...
475
00:26:00,470 --> 00:26:03,712
"shall share in the passion
and action of his time,
476
00:26:03,703 --> 00:26:07,168
at peril of being judged
not to have lived."
477
00:26:07,158 --> 00:26:09,853
Enough said.
Debate, 7:30. Be there.
478
00:26:09,846 --> 00:26:12,831
We have heard opening statements
from both candidates.
479
00:26:12,822 --> 00:26:15,517
Now we turn
to questions and answers.
480
00:26:15,510 --> 00:26:18,077
The chair will recognize
questions from the floor.
481
00:26:18,070 --> 00:26:20,538
Dorothy?
482
00:26:21,782 --> 00:26:23,835
I've lived here 10 years, Edna.
483
00:26:23,830 --> 00:26:27,232
You've never given me the time
of day. Why should I vote for you?
484
00:26:27,223 --> 00:26:29,817
You have one minute
to respond, Edna.
485
00:26:30,870 --> 00:26:33,309
I'm a private person
by nature, Dorothy.
486
00:26:33,303 --> 00:26:35,228
And by choice.
487
00:26:35,223 --> 00:26:37,951
People bore me as a rule.
488
00:26:37,943 --> 00:26:41,441
To tell you the truth, the thought of having to make
small talk with most of the people in this room...
489
00:26:41,431 --> 00:26:44,062
nauseates me,
and that includes you, Dorothy.
490
00:26:44,055 --> 00:26:49,479
About the last place any of us thought I'd
end up is here tonight asking for your vote.
491
00:26:49,463 --> 00:26:53,571
But we can all thank
Holling Vincoeur for that.
492
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,095
Given my generally dim view
of civilization,
493
00:26:56,088 --> 00:27:00,356
it took an unusual,
powerful display of incompetence...
494
00:27:00,344 --> 00:27:04,066
for me to be forced to seek
public office. Now hold on.
495
00:27:04,055 --> 00:27:07,047
You're out of order, Holling.
She keeps taking cheap shots.
496
00:27:07,639 --> 00:27:12,614
We all know that if you want something
in this society, you have to go after it.
497
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:17,029
I want a stop sign. I don't know
what the hell all you people want,
498
00:27:17,016 --> 00:27:19,904
but if you make me mayor
and let me know your heart's desire,
499
00:27:19,896 --> 00:27:24,807
I guarantee it won't take me
five years to get my yea or nay on it.
500
00:27:24,793 --> 00:27:29,671
But once you do, you can be
damn sure I'll abide by my word.
501
00:27:29,657 --> 00:27:33,320
Holling, you have 30 seconds
to respond.
502
00:27:34,745 --> 00:27:37,857
I say just because one person
has a bee in her bonnet...
503
00:27:37,848 --> 00:27:41,153
is no reason to make a sudden
change in the way things run.
504
00:27:41,144 --> 00:27:43,744
I was married
for 12 years, Holling.
505
00:27:43,737 --> 00:27:46,047
That was a lifetime.
506
00:27:46,041 --> 00:27:48,126
You don't think
23 years in office is enough?
507
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:51,265
I think it shows the people know
a good thing when they've got one.
508
00:27:51,257 --> 00:27:56,553
The mayor has to consider everyone, not
just a few cranks looking for special favors.
509
00:27:56,537 --> 00:27:58,622
Time's up.
Next question.
510
00:27:58,617 --> 00:28:00,608
You there in the back.
511
00:28:01,562 --> 00:28:04,257
Uh, I was wondering
if the candidates saw the stop sign...
512
00:28:04,249 --> 00:28:07,878
as a Jeffersonian or Hamiltonian
expression of democracy in action?
513
00:28:10,330 --> 00:28:14,469
What kind of
a stupid question is that? Sit!
514
00:28:14,457 --> 00:28:18,148
Chris.
Well, I just wanna applaud y'all...
515
00:28:18,138 --> 00:28:21,732
for plunging headfirst
into the great river of democracy.
516
00:28:21,722 --> 00:28:25,445
I mean, our election
is just a small tributary.
517
00:28:25,434 --> 00:28:30,087
You know, a singular thread in the greater
fabric, linked by tradition, love and honor...
518
00:28:30,074 --> 00:28:34,439
to the swift, clear bracing waters
from which our traditions are founded.
519
00:28:34,426 --> 00:28:38,309
But I'm just saying, let's take a little
time out here to slap ourselves on the back,
520
00:28:38,298 --> 00:28:42,021
give a kiss on the cheek,
a hale and hearty fare-thee-well...
521
00:28:42,011 --> 00:28:44,962
to all our fine noble Cicelian citizens.
522
00:28:44,954 --> 00:28:47,779
Ruth-Anne, candidates,
you're happening.
523
00:28:47,771 --> 00:28:50,530
Thank you, Chris.
Did you have a question?
524
00:28:50,522 --> 00:28:54,181
Well, actually, Edna, what I had
in mind were some lines from Basho:
525
00:28:54,171 --> 00:28:58,214
"On a withered branch,
a crow has alighted:
526
00:28:58,203 --> 00:29:00,228
Nightfall in autumn."
527
00:29:05,787 --> 00:29:08,984
Uh, Holling, you have 60 seconds
to respond to that.
528
00:29:10,235 --> 00:29:13,990
Uh, for the life of me, Chris, I
haven't a clue what you're talking about.
529
00:29:13,980 --> 00:29:16,964
Hold it.!
530
00:29:16,955 --> 00:29:19,265
There's something wrong here.
531
00:29:19,259 --> 00:29:22,115
Something terribly, terribly wrong.
532
00:29:22,107 --> 00:29:24,032
It's getting away from us.
533
00:29:24,027 --> 00:29:26,791
Maurice, do you have a question?
534
00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:32,202
I have to go now.
535
00:29:33,403 --> 00:29:38,827
If my stop sign's such a bad idea, Holling, how come
you offered to give me one if I'd pull out of the race?
536
00:29:38,811 --> 00:29:42,823
I did no such thing. I merely
suggested that we call off the election,
537
00:29:42,812 --> 00:29:45,668
save everybody
a lot of time and trouble.
538
00:29:45,660 --> 00:29:49,543
- You said you'd give me a stop sign.
- For crying out loud, Edna.
539
00:29:49,532 --> 00:29:51,966
That was a peace offering,
not a bribe.
540
00:30:05,789 --> 00:30:07,984
Maurice.
Good evening, Edna.
541
00:30:08,957 --> 00:30:11,171
You people put on
quite a show tonight.
542
00:30:11,165 --> 00:30:13,539
Hmm. You left early.
543
00:30:13,533 --> 00:30:16,421
Yeah, I kinda lost
my bearings.
544
00:30:16,413 --> 00:30:20,103
You know, Edna, I remember when
there was just you and me out here.
545
00:30:20,092 --> 00:30:24,618
You on your 12,000 acres,
me on my 15,000...
546
00:30:24,605 --> 00:30:28,842
and just that rickety old fence
over there between us.
547
00:30:28,830 --> 00:30:31,139
There wasn't any fence
till I made you put one in.
548
00:30:31,133 --> 00:30:33,058
That's true.
549
00:30:33,053 --> 00:30:34,978
But I wasn't aware
you were my neighbor...
550
00:30:34,973 --> 00:30:38,503
until you drew my attention
to that fact.
551
00:30:38,493 --> 00:30:43,019
I remember when you shot at me with
that beautiful Remington Over-And-Under.
552
00:30:43,006 --> 00:30:46,985
I knew we were gonna
get along just fine.
553
00:30:46,974 --> 00:30:49,637
And when I heard
you laid bare the tundra...
554
00:30:49,630 --> 00:30:53,513
with your drilling
and logging operation,
555
00:30:53,502 --> 00:30:57,000
I knew I'd found a kindred spirit.
556
00:30:56,990 --> 00:31:00,553
It takes big people
to tame a big land.
557
00:31:00,543 --> 00:31:05,035
No one seems to understand
that anymore. That's right.
558
00:31:05,022 --> 00:31:09,548
We came here with nothing
but our dreams and investment capital.
559
00:31:09,535 --> 00:31:12,423
And now look at it.
560
00:31:12,415 --> 00:31:16,073
We've got free enterprise blooming...
561
00:31:16,062 --> 00:31:18,622
where there was nothing
but virgin wilderness.
562
00:31:19,743 --> 00:31:23,241
We came here to live large,
563
00:31:23,231 --> 00:31:26,023
to breathe free.
564
00:31:26,016 --> 00:31:28,904
And, by God, we did it.
565
00:31:28,896 --> 00:31:32,297
But our dream was flawed, Edna.
566
00:31:32,287 --> 00:31:34,212
How's that?
567
00:31:34,207 --> 00:31:38,090
Two trappers, arguing about
beaver pelts in St. Botolph's Town.
568
00:31:38,079 --> 00:31:40,453
The next day,
there's busing in Boston.
569
00:31:40,447 --> 00:31:42,854
You lost me.
570
00:31:42,847 --> 00:31:45,575
I looked to the future,
571
00:31:45,568 --> 00:31:50,317
and I saw tract housing,
572
00:31:50,303 --> 00:31:53,513
shopping malls,
a covered sports arena.
573
00:31:53,504 --> 00:31:57,643
But what I failed to see
was the baggage that goes with it.
574
00:31:57,631 --> 00:32:01,547
I had a vision
of the future tonight, Edna.
575
00:32:01,536 --> 00:32:04,167
With bureaucrats,
576
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:07,401
planning commissions,
zoning boards,
577
00:32:07,392 --> 00:32:11,829
special interest groups, people
telling us what we can and cannot do.
578
00:32:13,632 --> 00:32:18,501
And it all starts
with one single stop sign.
579
00:32:19,361 --> 00:32:21,413
You want me
to pull out of the race?
580
00:32:21,407 --> 00:32:26,743
No. I thought I did,
but I don't.
581
00:32:28,001 --> 00:32:31,562
No. If it's not you today,
it'll be somebody else tomorrow.
582
00:32:32,961 --> 00:32:37,330
Once I get my stop sign, this whole thing
ends as far as I'm concerned, Maurice.
583
00:32:42,336 --> 00:32:45,642
You let the genie
out of the bottle, Edna.
584
00:32:45,633 --> 00:32:47,965
You can't put him back in.
585
00:32:57,857 --> 00:33:00,328
Come on, O'Connell.
They're all out there waiting.
586
00:33:00,322 --> 00:33:02,311
Ready?
587
00:33:02,305 --> 00:33:04,295
Not yet.
Not yet?
588
00:33:04,290 --> 00:33:06,224
Not yet.
589
00:33:08,386 --> 00:33:10,311
Something's missing.
What's missing?
590
00:33:10,306 --> 00:33:12,231
O'Connell, these people
have six hours to vote.
591
00:33:12,226 --> 00:33:13,318
Flowers.
What?
592
00:33:13,346 --> 00:33:15,109
Flowers.
Go get some, will you?
593
00:33:15,106 --> 00:33:17,930
Not formal. Some daisies maybe. A
splash of something. I'll get a vase.
594
00:33:17,922 --> 00:33:19,975
Where am I gonna get flowers?
It's 20 degrees out.
595
00:33:19,970 --> 00:33:22,505
In a minute!
596
00:33:22,498 --> 00:33:25,001
Okay. How do I look?
How do you look?
597
00:33:24,994 --> 00:33:27,914
Mm-hmm.
You look beautiful.
598
00:33:27,906 --> 00:33:30,474
Just like you always do.
Really?
599
00:33:30,467 --> 00:33:35,152
Yes. Can I let them in now?
Yes. No. No, wait, wait, wait.
600
00:33:35,138 --> 00:33:37,320
There.
You look handsome.
601
00:33:37,315 --> 00:33:38,475
I do?
Mm-hmm.
602
00:33:38,499 --> 00:33:40,763
Thanks. Let's go ahead. Open the door.
603
00:33:44,546 --> 00:33:47,434
It's cold outside.
Hi. Sorry.
604
00:33:47,426 --> 00:33:50,571
When I was nine,
I was fishing with my Uncle Roy Bower,
605
00:33:50,563 --> 00:33:53,002
when he suddenly
smacked his forehead.
606
00:33:52,995 --> 00:33:54,952
Told me to cut my line.
607
00:33:54,947 --> 00:33:57,108
Hejust remembered
it was election day.
608
00:33:59,715 --> 00:34:02,827
That was '72,
Nixon versus McGovern.
609
00:34:02,819 --> 00:34:07,409
No contest, really, but Roy had
been to Vietnam. He hated Nixon.
610
00:34:07,395 --> 00:34:11,021
After he voted,
he put his arm around my shoulder.
611
00:34:11,011 --> 00:34:14,003
"Well, '"he said,
"guess I showed him. '"
612
00:35:15,173 --> 00:35:17,355
Chris.
613
00:35:17,349 --> 00:35:21,200
"Rejoice with me, for I have
found my sheep which was lost."
614
00:35:21,189 --> 00:35:23,628
Oh, I wish I could
give you a ballot.
615
00:35:23,622 --> 00:35:27,537
I can only gaze upon the promised
land, Ruth-Anne, never enter.
616
00:35:27,525 --> 00:35:29,450
Anyway, I was wondering
if I could hang out a while...
617
00:35:29,445 --> 00:35:31,627
and catch the vibes of democracy
doing its thing?
618
00:35:31,622 --> 00:35:33,579
Feel free to graze.
619
00:35:33,574 --> 00:35:36,600
And then come sit by me.
Okay.
620
00:35:39,814 --> 00:35:41,771
What is that all about?
621
00:35:41,766 --> 00:35:44,493
Luke, chapter 15:
622
00:35:44,486 --> 00:35:47,631
"For this my son was dead,
and he is alive again;
623
00:35:47,622 --> 00:35:50,510
he was lost, and he is found." Hmm.
624
00:35:50,502 --> 00:35:54,905
The return of the prodigal voter.
625
00:35:55,846 --> 00:35:58,959
I'm wasted, people.
I'm drained.
626
00:35:58,951 --> 00:36:04,471
A good drain though, you know. Like a wedding
that's boogied on till the early morning light.
627
00:36:04,455 --> 00:36:06,701
Whew!
628
00:36:06,695 --> 00:36:09,519
Well, I guess it's time
for the official results, huh?
629
00:36:09,511 --> 00:36:13,208
In-studio guest, special courier
Ed Chigliak, ladies and gentlemen.
630
00:36:14,887 --> 00:36:17,048
The moment
we've all been waiting for.
631
00:36:18,727 --> 00:36:22,064
For Holling Vincoeur, 247 votes.
632
00:36:22,055 --> 00:36:25,618
For Edna Hancock, 255 votes.
633
00:36:25,608 --> 00:36:28,559
The winner by eight votes,
Edna Hancock.
634
00:36:28,551 --> 00:36:31,857
Pax vobiscum.
Congratulations, Edna.
635
00:36:31,848 --> 00:36:34,640
We did it, Ed.
636
00:36:34,632 --> 00:36:36,717
It worked.
We did?
637
00:36:36,712 --> 00:36:39,055
Absolutely.
What worked?
638
00:36:39,048 --> 00:36:42,609
The grand idea, buddy.
The process.
639
00:36:42,599 --> 00:36:45,295
Huh.
640
00:36:45,288 --> 00:36:48,561
Ed, we've just witnessed
a peaceful transition in government.
641
00:36:48,552 --> 00:36:52,018
Do you realize
how miraculous that is?
642
00:36:52,008 --> 00:36:54,602
I think so.
You think so?
643
00:36:55,657 --> 00:36:57,966
Listen to me.
644
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:00,913
Despite Russia,
despite Germany,
645
00:37:00,904 --> 00:37:03,182
the mass of people on this planet
still live under the yoke...
646
00:37:03,176 --> 00:37:07,348
of some autocratic
or totalitarian regime.
647
00:37:07,336 --> 00:37:10,738
Do you hear me?
Today, tiny Cicely, Alaska stood up...
648
00:37:10,729 --> 00:37:15,061
and put another "W"
in the win category for democracy.
649
00:37:15,048 --> 00:37:17,744
Well, all right! Hey!
Well, all right.
650
00:37:22,345 --> 00:37:25,940
Let me take that, Holling.
I can manage it, Dave.
651
00:37:27,369 --> 00:37:29,303
Okay.
652
00:37:32,298 --> 00:37:34,232
Thanks, Holling.
653
00:37:45,834 --> 00:37:47,759
All right,
listen to me, everybody.
654
00:37:47,754 --> 00:37:50,917
I've hadjust about enough
of this moping and carrying on.
655
00:37:51,882 --> 00:37:55,380
Nobody died.
It was an election.
656
00:37:55,370 --> 00:37:57,904
I lost.
657
00:37:57,897 --> 00:38:00,764
Now let's hear some music
out of that jukebox.
658
00:38:03,850 --> 00:38:06,064
I'm so proud of you, babe.
659
00:38:06,058 --> 00:38:08,400
Folks over there
need a pitcher, Shelly.
660
00:38:08,394 --> 00:38:11,443
Don't hold it in, Holling. You
don't have to be brave for me.
661
00:38:11,434 --> 00:38:13,519
Shelly, I'm fine.
662
00:38:13,514 --> 00:38:16,595
Cross your heart? American
eagle over and out?
663
00:38:16,586 --> 00:38:20,919
Uh-huh. Well, at least my
hormones are no longer raging.
664
00:38:20,907 --> 00:38:23,569
For a while there,
my work was really suffering.
665
00:38:24,875 --> 00:38:26,809
Here you go, Jake. Enjoy.
666
00:38:27,787 --> 00:38:32,473
Well, I took one on the chin
today, Maurice.
667
00:38:32,459 --> 00:38:36,021
But don't salt your scotch
with tears on my account.
668
00:38:36,011 --> 00:38:38,321
Truth is, I'm kind of relieved.
669
00:38:38,315 --> 00:38:42,455
The burdens of office
can get awful heavy after 23 years.
670
00:38:42,443 --> 00:38:46,711
Doesn't it bother you at all that 255 of your
countrymen elected to stab you in the back today?
671
00:38:46,699 --> 00:38:49,010
I never thought about it like that.
672
00:38:49,004 --> 00:38:52,341
87% turnout.
673
00:38:52,331 --> 00:38:54,866
What is happening to us?
Why didn't they stay home?
674
00:38:54,859 --> 00:38:57,234
People want change, I guess.
675
00:38:57,228 --> 00:38:59,153
Why?
676
00:38:59,148 --> 00:39:02,228
This town, as we've known it,
is fading away.
677
00:39:02,220 --> 00:39:05,750
It's only a matter of time
till you and I are memories.
678
00:39:05,740 --> 00:39:07,640
Maurice, why haven't you
ever run for office?
679
00:39:09,292 --> 00:39:12,052
Well, I like to be
behind the scenes,
680
00:39:12,044 --> 00:39:14,740
pushing buttons,
pulling strings.
681
00:39:15,852 --> 00:39:18,708
Truth of the matter is
people don't like me.
682
00:39:18,700 --> 00:39:20,913
Oh, they respect me.
683
00:39:20,908 --> 00:39:23,443
Some even fear me.
684
00:39:23,436 --> 00:39:26,599
But they don't like me.
685
00:39:28,044 --> 00:39:30,205
Excuse me, Maurice.
686
00:39:31,404 --> 00:39:33,554
Congratulations, Edna.
687
00:39:33,548 --> 00:39:37,279
Can I buy you a drink?
All right.
688
00:39:40,044 --> 00:39:43,036
Another week and I'd have wiped
the floor with you. Like hell.
689
00:39:52,172 --> 00:39:55,574
You haven't said anything
for quite a while, Ed.
690
00:39:55,565 --> 00:40:00,251
Ruth-Anne, do you realize
that the mass of people...
691
00:40:00,237 --> 00:40:05,115
still live under some autocratic
or totalitarian type of regime?
692
00:40:05,101 --> 00:40:07,026
Well, I suppose that's true.
693
00:40:07,021 --> 00:40:08,955
It'll make you think.
694
00:40:13,966 --> 00:40:16,693
Ed, are you all right?
695
00:40:16,685 --> 00:40:19,586
Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
You sure?
696
00:40:20,686 --> 00:40:24,119
Yeah. I feel-
697
00:40:24,109 --> 00:40:27,545
What?
Well,
698
00:40:31,630 --> 00:40:33,555
manly.
699
00:40:33,550 --> 00:40:36,471
Like a man.
700
00:40:36,463 --> 00:40:40,410
Ruth-Anne, do you realize
I did something today,
701
00:40:40,399 --> 00:40:43,255
well, that I've never done before.
702
00:40:43,247 --> 00:40:47,964
And it was kinda like
the first time I was with Lightfeather.
703
00:40:47,950 --> 00:40:51,930
Well, only that was
just between me and her.
704
00:40:51,919 --> 00:40:55,738
But afterwards I felt,
well, light.
705
00:40:55,727 --> 00:41:00,323
And this, well,
this was between me and Cicely.
706
00:41:01,167 --> 00:41:03,101
But I don't feel light at all.
707
00:41:04,687 --> 00:41:08,384
I feel... bigger.
708
00:41:13,615 --> 00:41:16,406
So, I'd say we did
pretty well tonight.
709
00:41:16,399 --> 00:41:18,934
Yeah?
Yeah.
710
00:41:18,927 --> 00:41:21,366
You all right?
Yeah.
711
00:41:21,359 --> 00:41:24,311
I just always worry about things
when they're over, you know?
712
00:41:24,303 --> 00:41:27,384
Was everything all right?
Did people have a good time?
713
00:41:27,376 --> 00:41:29,301
I guess it's just a female thing.
714
00:41:29,296 --> 00:41:33,307
Hey, 87% turnout.
No, uh, late precinct returns.
715
00:41:33,295 --> 00:41:36,344
No disputed ballots.
716
00:41:36,336 --> 00:41:39,191
Yeah, I'd say
we did pretty well.
717
00:41:39,183 --> 00:41:40,650
Good.
718
00:41:40,656 --> 00:41:43,481
Hey, how about
if I buy you dinner?
719
00:41:43,473 --> 00:41:47,483
Uh, well, I'm kind of tired.
Come on.
720
00:41:47,471 --> 00:41:50,232
Mm, really?
Your treat?
721
00:41:50,225 --> 00:41:52,150
My treat.
722
00:41:52,145 --> 00:41:54,511
Well, I can't pass that up.
723
00:41:59,024 --> 00:42:02,393
"We are not enemies, but friends.
724
00:42:02,384 --> 00:42:04,438
"We must not be enemies.
725
00:42:04,433 --> 00:42:09,055
Though passion may have strained, it must
not break the bonds of our affection."
726
00:42:09,041 --> 00:42:11,992
Lincoln's words
to a divided nation.
727
00:42:11,984 --> 00:42:15,098
My counsel to a divided Cicely.
728
00:42:15,090 --> 00:42:20,000
Holling Vincoeur, you know you're still
first in the hearts of your fellow Cicelians.
729
00:42:19,985 --> 00:42:23,996
Today, people simply said they just
want Edna to run things for a while.
730
00:42:23,985 --> 00:42:26,713
Hey, that's cool.
I mean, if it doesn't work out,
731
00:42:26,705 --> 00:42:29,175
we'll have another election, right?
732
00:42:29,169 --> 00:42:33,020
It's not perfect, but it's the
best system anybody's come up with.
733
00:42:33,009 --> 00:42:34,934
It's likeJustice Holmes said,
734
00:42:34,929 --> 00:42:39,326
"The Constitution's an experiment
like life's an experiment."
735
00:42:39,313 --> 00:42:42,651
Apropos of that, the final words tonight
belong to Thomas Jefferson,
736
00:42:42,642 --> 00:42:47,359
third president of these United States,
who gave us this to chew on,
737
00:42:47,345 --> 00:42:51,261
"Sometimes it is said that a man cannot
be trusted with the government ofhimself.
738
00:42:51,250 --> 00:42:54,651
"Can he then be trusted
with the government of others?
739
00:42:54,642 --> 00:42:58,654
"Or have we found angels
in the forms ofkings to govern him?
740
00:42:58,642 --> 00:43:01,691
Let history answer this question. '"
741
00:43:01,683 --> 00:43:04,538
You're listening to K-Bear,
570 A.M.,
742
00:43:04,530 --> 00:43:07,897
the voice of the borough
of Arrowhead County.
743
00:43:07,947 --> 00:43:12,497
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
65038
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.