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00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:03,132
A Pop original.
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00:00:04,078 --> 00:00:07,206
[energetic brass music]
3
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:08,675
4
00:00:09,387 --> 00:00:11,345
There.
5
00:00:11,378 --> 00:00:13,180
Perfect.
6
00:00:13,212 --> 00:00:16,282
See, this is what we're all about.
7
00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:18,352
Being incredibly uncomfortable?
8
00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:19,785
Teamwork.
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00:00:19,819 --> 00:00:21,688
That was my first day of "Nightcap."
10
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,525
And now we're upgraded to
this great new studio.
11
00:00:25,558 --> 00:00:26,884
Do not get too excited.
12
00:00:26,909 --> 00:00:28,795
The only reason we're here
is because the network
13
00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:31,181
just canceled their reboot
of "Charles in Charge."
14
00:00:31,206 --> 00:00:33,167
Yeah, it wasn't as good as the original.
15
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,602
Well, there's nothing funny
about Charles being "in charge"
16
00:00:35,634 --> 00:00:37,803
of the U.S. Border Patrol.
17
00:00:37,837 --> 00:00:41,807
Well, I'm just glad that
we're out of the old studio.
18
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:45,612
The air is so much cleaner here
without all the black mold.
19
00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:48,482
Oh, my God. My skin
finally feels like skin.
20
00:00:48,514 --> 00:00:49,917
- [phone chimes]
- Oh, hey.
21
00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:51,410
We've got to get to the morning meeting.
22
00:00:51,435 --> 00:00:52,853
Let's go.
23
00:00:54,386 --> 00:00:56,622
Look what I found in one of the closets.
24
00:00:56,655 --> 00:01:01,561
This is an actual Border Patrol
uniform worn by Scott Baio.
25
00:01:01,594 --> 00:01:04,497
And I found his capture net.
26
00:01:04,530 --> 00:01:07,401
Uh-oh, I gotcha.
27
00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:10,938
Looks like Charles is in charge.
28
00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:12,305
Phil, we're late for a meeting.
29
00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:13,407
I'll take you.
30
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,542
[energetic brass music]
31
00:01:15,574 --> 00:01:19,579
From Studio 9B in the
heart of New York City,
32
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:22,215
it's "Nightcap with Jimmy!"
33
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,584
Tonight: she's not just a good wife,
34
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:27,821
she's a good person, Julianna Margulies.
35
00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:29,723
He opens packages for a living,
36
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:32,859
YouTube Unboxing Star, Luke Fisher.
37
00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:36,330
Professional joke teller,
comedian Rojo Perez.
38
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:38,831
And now, number five in the ratings
39
00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:42,935
but number one in our
hearts, here's Jimmy!
40
00:01:42,968 --> 00:01:45,864
-- Synced and corrected by DaddyBear --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
41
00:01:45,889 --> 00:01:50,576
Marcus, Malik, Todd... Charles.
42
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,578
- Hi. Hi. Who are you?
- Staci.
43
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,280
- Yeah.
- Davis Maxfield.
44
00:01:54,313 --> 00:01:56,782
- I'm here for my first day.
- Your first day?
45
00:01:56,815 --> 00:01:58,818
- Davis Maxfield.
- Mm-mm.
46
00:01:58,851 --> 00:02:00,786
- From the conference call.
- Nope.
47
00:02:00,819 --> 00:02:04,408
- The network sent me.
- Oh, my God, Davis.
48
00:02:04,433 --> 00:02:05,499
- Yes.
- Oh, you're here.
49
00:02:05,524 --> 00:02:06,855
- Mm-hmm.
- That's so funny.
50
00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:09,066
I thought you were just gonna
send a few thoughts on the email.
51
00:02:09,091 --> 00:02:11,465
Burbank thought it would
help if I came to the show
52
00:02:11,497 --> 00:02:12,765
as the on-site talent producer.
53
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,222
I'm the talent producer.
54
00:02:14,247 --> 00:02:15,636
Additional talent producer.
55
00:02:15,668 --> 00:02:17,770
Burbank didn't say
anything to me about this.
56
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,406
- Recent changes to the plan.
- Yes.
57
00:02:19,438 --> 00:02:20,908
You know networks, always pivoting.
58
00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:22,341
- I do... I do know networks,
- You must be Penny.
59
00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,430
I am. Welcome aboard.
60
00:02:24,455 --> 00:02:26,595
This is an amazing place to work.
61
00:02:26,620 --> 00:02:28,448
I love your enthusiasm.
62
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:31,518
I love your... hand.
63
00:02:31,550 --> 00:02:34,755
Sit down, Penny.
64
00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:37,923
You can let go of his hand, Penny.
65
00:02:37,956 --> 00:02:40,540
Yo, Staci, Davis is gonna fit right in.
66
00:02:40,565 --> 00:02:42,495
Dude can bench 275.
67
00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:43,760
Ooh.
68
00:02:43,785 --> 00:02:45,519
How long are you planning on staying?
69
00:02:45,544 --> 00:02:47,917
No real set time line.
Just as long as necessary.
70
00:02:47,942 --> 00:02:49,402
Oh, "necessary."
71
00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:52,071
Well, we welcome your input, Davis.
Glad you're here to help.
72
00:02:52,104 --> 00:02:53,568
Well, we don't need any help.
73
00:02:53,593 --> 00:02:55,616
Actually, I was told when
I took the "Nightcap"
74
00:02:55,641 --> 00:02:57,643
publicist job that there
would be changes.
75
00:02:57,676 --> 00:02:59,155
Changes?
76
00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:02,316
Well, I'm just glad there's
finally a black person on staff.
77
00:03:03,549 --> 00:03:04,984
Oh, sorry.
78
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,620
And an Asian lady.
79
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:08,989
I'm very woke.
80
00:03:09,021 --> 00:03:10,723
I'm sorry, who are you?
81
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,903
Olivia, the new social
media coordinator.
82
00:03:12,928 --> 00:03:14,394
I don't know what that is.
83
00:03:14,426 --> 00:03:15,995
Olivia's fantastic.
84
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:19,224
She's an expert on all social media
platforms and internet trends.
85
00:03:19,249 --> 00:03:21,074
I bring her with me to all
the shows I overhaul.
86
00:03:21,099 --> 00:03:22,247
Overhaul?
87
00:03:22,272 --> 00:03:24,340
Davis, I just followed you on Instagram.
88
00:03:24,365 --> 00:03:25,638
Nice profile pic.
89
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:26,907
Thank you, Marcus.
90
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:28,144
Following you back.
91
00:03:28,169 --> 00:03:29,408
Thanks for the follow.
92
00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:30,795
Just followed you, Marcus.
93
00:03:30,820 --> 00:03:31,845
Hey, girl, following you back.
94
00:03:31,877 --> 00:03:33,904
Now following Penny and Malik.
95
00:03:33,929 --> 00:03:34,948
Oh, following you.
96
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:37,351
Following you back, Olivia.
97
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:39,485
I... I have this awesome
Instagram account.
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00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:40,654
It's super hilarious.
99
00:03:40,686 --> 00:03:42,755
You should check it out.
100
00:03:42,788 --> 00:03:44,423
Um...
101
00:03:44,456 --> 00:03:46,393
anyway, I... I usually sit here,
102
00:03:46,425 --> 00:03:49,235
so if you want to grab a
chair and hit that corner...
103
00:03:49,260 --> 00:03:51,664
Oh, I prefer to stand; it's
much better for productivity.
104
00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:53,066
I prefer to stand,
105
00:03:53,098 --> 00:03:55,602
because it's much better for
productivity.
106
00:03:55,634 --> 00:03:56,936
We have a great show tonight.
107
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,905
Julianna Margulies is back.
108
00:03:58,937 --> 00:04:02,842
Yes, we also have comedian Rojo Perez
109
00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:07,614
and the amazing YouTube
Unboxer, Luke Fisher.
110
00:04:07,646 --> 00:04:09,615
Davis, anything you want to add?
111
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:11,307
I don't think there's anything to add.
112
00:04:11,332 --> 00:04:12,753
Isn't that why he's here?
113
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:15,021
It's all good. Sounds like a nice show.
114
00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:17,819
Yo, Davis, you want me to show you
the rest of the new studio, man?
115
00:04:17,844 --> 00:04:19,333
That would be wonderful.
Let's all do it.
116
00:04:19,358 --> 00:04:20,793
- Yes.
- Yeah.
117
00:04:20,826 --> 00:04:22,795
Let's all go show Davis the new studio.
118
00:04:22,828 --> 00:04:24,563
Oh, my God, Davis.
119
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,500
Lady Gaga follows you?
120
00:04:26,532 --> 00:04:27,597
Please tell me you're friends.
121
00:04:27,622 --> 00:04:29,001
I consulted on her last tour.
122
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:30,574
She's wonderful.
123
00:04:30,599 --> 00:04:31,663
Ohh
124
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,440
That means I'm one Instagram
degree from Lady Gaga.
125
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:35,909
Lady Gaga follows everybody.
126
00:04:35,941 --> 00:04:37,443
- No, she doesn't.
- Yes, she does.
127
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:38,645
- No, she doesn't.
- Yes, she does.
128
00:04:38,677 --> 00:04:39,945
- Uh, shickaba.
- Oh.
129
00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:43,150
[sighs]
130
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:44,618
I don't know about this Davis guy.
131
00:04:44,650 --> 00:04:46,350
Why? He seems nice.
132
00:04:46,375 --> 00:04:48,849
But I've seen this before,
Penny; he's gonna replace me.
133
00:04:48,874 --> 00:04:50,156
No, Staci, didn't you hear him?
134
00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:52,858
He said he's the additional
talent producer.
135
00:04:52,891 --> 00:04:54,894
Well, you know what?
My college boyfriend
136
00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:56,695
got an "additional" girlfriend.
137
00:04:56,729 --> 00:04:58,799
- What happened?
- Well, we he had a twin bed,
138
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,375
so I had to go make snacks.
139
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,016
Hey, don't worry.
140
00:05:02,041 --> 00:05:04,170
This show would fall apart without you.
141
00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:05,585
Everyone knows that.
142
00:05:05,610 --> 00:05:07,943
Just do me a favor. Promise
me you're not gonna fall
143
00:05:07,968 --> 00:05:10,202
for his lame-ass lucky corporate charms.
144
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,912
I promise you.
145
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,714
I am loyal to you and only you.
146
00:05:14,746 --> 00:05:16,449
[phone chimes]
147
00:05:18,617 --> 00:05:22,087
Let me guess, you're one Instagram
degree away from Lady Gaga.
148
00:05:22,121 --> 00:05:24,157
How cool is that?
149
00:05:24,189 --> 00:05:27,960
[energetic brass music]
150
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,830
Anyway, I was so sad when
"The Good Wife" ended,
151
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:34,034
but I was so happy to finally
get you on "Nightcap."
152
00:05:34,066 --> 00:05:36,669
I love all the white, and you
brought you own furniture
153
00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:38,429
- and flowers and...
- Yeah, of course.
154
00:05:38,454 --> 00:05:41,008
- Oh.
- Just makes me feel comfortable and...
155
00:05:41,033 --> 00:05:43,143
Yeah, well, and it smells like orchids.
156
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:47,260
Oh, so anyway, Julianna, we're gonna...
157
00:05:47,285 --> 00:05:51,251
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,
not carnations, seriously.
158
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:52,722
Naturally, you're our first guest,
159
00:05:52,747 --> 00:05:55,387
so right after Jimmy does
his salute to the troops,
160
00:05:55,412 --> 00:05:56,684
I'll bring you in.
161
00:05:56,709 --> 00:05:58,190
I didn't realize that Jimmy was
162
00:05:58,224 --> 00:05:59,769
so supportive of the military.
163
00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:00,864
Oh, he's not at all.
164
00:06:00,889 --> 00:06:03,128
We just need a little bump from
the red states, so...
165
00:06:03,162 --> 00:06:04,528
- Solid plan.
- Yep, and then we're gonna
166
00:06:04,553 --> 00:06:07,200
show your clip from your ocean
detective movie, which is...
167
00:06:07,458 --> 00:06:09,246
Jeez, it's just you and dolphins.
168
00:06:09,271 --> 00:06:10,450
It's amazing.
169
00:06:10,475 --> 00:06:12,559
You know, dolphins are
amazing creatures.
170
00:06:12,584 --> 00:06:14,207
Oh, the best, my favorite.
171
00:06:14,239 --> 00:06:17,109
I always ask for dolphin-safe
tuna when I go to Subway.
172
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:19,597
Well, do you know that they
have distinctive personalities?
173
00:06:19,622 --> 00:06:22,882
And they have a true sense of self.
174
00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:25,851
- Wow.
- Oh, and they're...
175
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,654
They're hyper sexual.
176
00:06:27,686 --> 00:06:30,490
Like... like, have sex with them?
177
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:36,061
Um, whew, well, if that's
what you're into, I...
178
00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:38,231
Oh, God, no. I'm not into it.
179
00:06:38,256 --> 00:06:39,505
I mean, whatever.
180
00:06:39,530 --> 00:06:41,573
Listen, I don't judge. I don't judge.
181
00:06:41,598 --> 00:06:42,902
No, no, there's nothing to judge.
182
00:06:42,927 --> 00:06:44,440
Look, everyone has to get off
any way they can, right?
183
00:06:44,465 --> 00:06:45,903
- Oh, no, no, no.
- So anyway...
184
00:06:45,928 --> 00:06:47,106
- I'm not getting off.
- I'm the first guest,
185
00:06:47,131 --> 00:06:49,543
and then you will show
a clip of my movie.
186
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:50,843
- Yes.
- Great.
187
00:06:50,876 --> 00:06:52,177
Yes.
188
00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:54,780
Oh, my goodness.
189
00:06:54,813 --> 00:06:57,316
White M&M'S.
190
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,852
- They're so pretty.
- [chuckles]
191
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:02,756
Oh, my goodness. We're...
we're painting.
192
00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:03,957
Oh, Marco's the best.
193
00:07:03,989 --> 00:07:05,587
- Oh.
- He's awesome.
194
00:07:05,612 --> 00:07:07,593
Oh, my gosh, and it's white.
195
00:07:07,626 --> 00:07:08,918
Look at that.
196
00:07:08,943 --> 00:07:12,265
Okay, I'm gonna let you get settled in.
197
00:07:12,297 --> 00:07:15,568
And I'll come get you in a few.
198
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,770
Marco, do you have anything whiter?
199
00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:19,839
That's not snowcap.
200
00:07:19,871 --> 00:07:21,908
I like snowcap; I like it
to be white, white, white.
201
00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:26,046
- Oh.
- Staci, how's Julianna?
202
00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:28,881
Well, she thinks I want to
have sex with a dolphin.
203
00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:31,751
Well, it's...
204
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:33,286
who are you?
205
00:07:33,318 --> 00:07:35,630
- Who now?
- There are two of you?
206
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:36,789
There seems to be.
207
00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:38,262
How long has this been happening?
208
00:07:38,287 --> 00:07:39,826
Roughly 36 years.
209
00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:41,166
How long have you been working here?
210
00:07:41,191 --> 00:07:42,419
I've always worked here.
211
00:07:42,444 --> 00:07:45,698
- Did you know about this?
- Of course.
212
00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:47,366
Am I high?
213
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,769
Early onset Alzheimer's is treatable.
214
00:07:49,801 --> 00:07:52,672
I'm sure your physician could
recommend a clinical trial.
215
00:07:55,073 --> 00:07:57,157
Do you want me to sign you
up for a trial, Stace?
216
00:07:57,182 --> 00:07:59,312
Yeah, I think... I think
that would be best.
217
00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:02,948
Staci and Penny, I'd like to
introduce you to Luke Fisher,
218
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:04,716
the YouTube unboxing star.
219
00:08:04,741 --> 00:08:06,652
- Hi.
- Thanks for having me.
220
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,221
I am a huge fan.
221
00:08:08,253 --> 00:08:10,823
When you unboxed those
hypoallergenic vacuum
222
00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:12,892
filters last week, I was
on the edge of my seat.
223
00:08:12,924 --> 00:08:14,828
Thanks. I love what I do.
224
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:17,797
Unpacking boxes so the audience
can see what's inside?
225
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:20,804
Oh, no, Staci, there's so much
more to it than that.
226
00:08:20,829 --> 00:08:22,167
No, there isn't.
227
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,264
You know, why don't you head
back to your dressing room?
228
00:08:24,289 --> 00:08:25,748
- I'll catch up with you in a bit.
- Sounds good.
229
00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:27,841
Hey, is it cool if I use
these to rehearse?
230
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:29,743
Of course. Go crazy.
231
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:33,503
Spoiler alert: they're full of cereal.
232
00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:38,764
You know, I wanted us
to get on the same page
233
00:08:38,789 --> 00:08:40,934
regarding the guest order for the show.
234
00:08:40,959 --> 00:08:42,287
I need to make a switch.
235
00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:44,758
No, listen, I completely agree
with you, okay?
236
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,851
I don't want the unboxer
to go second either,
237
00:08:46,876 --> 00:08:49,829
but he can't go last, because
Jimmy loves comedians,
238
00:08:49,861 --> 00:08:52,799
and he likes them to go last so he
can power nap through their set.
239
00:08:52,831 --> 00:08:55,023
Uh, Luke should be the first guest.
240
00:08:55,048 --> 00:08:57,303
Julianna Margulies is the first guest.
241
00:08:57,335 --> 00:08:58,758
She should be the second guest.
242
00:08:58,783 --> 00:09:01,374
Julianna Margulies is a huge star.
243
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:03,042
She's going first.
244
00:09:03,075 --> 00:09:04,589
Okay, I have nothing
against Miss Margulies,
245
00:09:04,614 --> 00:09:06,412
but Luke has a much
higher Infinity Rating
246
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:07,846
than Miss Margulies
247
00:09:07,879 --> 00:09:10,082
I'm... [laughs] I'm sorry.
248
00:09:10,115 --> 00:09:11,917
Infinity Rating?
249
00:09:11,950 --> 00:09:14,888
I sometimes forget it's not
a standard industry term.
250
00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:16,723
Are you familiar with celebrity
Q Scores?
251
00:09:16,755 --> 00:09:18,200
- Yes.
- Okay.
252
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,448
The Infinity Rating
System is the next level.
253
00:09:20,473 --> 00:09:22,128
It aggregates box office receipts,
254
00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:24,354
TV ratings, social media engagement,
255
00:09:24,379 --> 00:09:27,283
and other viable statistics into
a proprietary mathematical
256
00:09:27,308 --> 00:09:30,436
algorithm to determine the
influence of a celebrity.
257
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,305
Yeah, well, math is very overrated.
258
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:36,197
No, it's an indispensible tool used
by top entertainment executives.
259
00:09:36,222 --> 00:09:37,698
- Oh, that's amazing.
- [raspberries]
260
00:09:37,723 --> 00:09:39,746
- Can we use it?
- Sorry, no.
261
00:09:39,778 --> 00:09:41,346
To gain access, you must be a member
262
00:09:41,371 --> 00:09:42,824
of the Infinity Organization.
263
00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:46,372
It's very expensive, and you must rise
to Platinum Level for that privilege.
264
00:09:46,397 --> 00:09:48,045
Uh-huh, like Scientology.
265
00:09:48,070 --> 00:09:50,923
Well, it was founded by two
former members of the church
266
00:09:50,956 --> 00:09:53,431
who were excommunicated for
criticizing John Travolta's
267
00:09:53,456 --> 00:09:55,794
performance in "Battlefield Earth."
268
00:09:55,827 --> 00:09:58,540
Listen to me. Davis, Julianna Margulies
269
00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:03,136
is going first, not after some
idiot who unpacks boxes
270
00:10:03,168 --> 00:10:04,369
in his mother's basement.
271
00:10:04,402 --> 00:10:06,071
Your opposition is duly noted.
272
00:10:06,104 --> 00:10:08,074
But Burbank agrees with my position.
273
00:10:08,106 --> 00:10:09,689
Luke will be going on first.
274
00:10:12,277 --> 00:10:14,853
Stupid Win-finity bullshit.
275
00:10:14,878 --> 00:10:16,924
- Oh, it's the In...
- Gah-gah!
276
00:10:20,001 --> 00:10:24,899
[energetic brass music]
277
00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:28,927
Why are you standing here?
278
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:32,264
Oh, Julianna's glam squad is
gonna be here any minute.
279
00:10:32,297 --> 00:10:34,333
What's so great about her glam squad?
280
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,202
Their work is sickening,
281
00:10:36,234 --> 00:10:37,936
and everyone in the industry knows it.
282
00:10:37,961 --> 00:10:41,174
There are like a choreographed
symphony of beautification.
283
00:10:41,206 --> 00:10:43,042
Well, what are you gonna
say to the glam squad
284
00:10:43,075 --> 00:10:44,188
when they get here?
285
00:10:44,213 --> 00:10:45,252
Oh, nothing.
286
00:10:45,277 --> 00:10:47,011
You don't speak to a
celebrity glam squad
287
00:10:47,036 --> 00:10:49,414
until a celebrity glam
squad has spoken to you.
288
00:10:49,447 --> 00:10:53,152
Yeah, that's how I felt when
Daniel Craig was at the show.
289
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,271
- Daniel Craig?
- Yeah, 'cause he's James Bond.
290
00:10:55,296 --> 00:10:58,157
- Yeah.
- And I'm security.
291
00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,792
Yeah.
292
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,762
There's a special connection there.
293
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:04,661
I wouldn't expect you to get it.
294
00:11:04,686 --> 00:11:05,787
[elevator dings]
295
00:11:05,812 --> 00:11:07,714
Here they come.
296
00:11:07,739 --> 00:11:10,177
[gasps] Louis Mackie, hair.
297
00:11:10,202 --> 00:11:11,970
Jessie Justin, nails.
298
00:11:12,003 --> 00:11:13,473
Gina Morgan, makeup.
299
00:11:13,505 --> 00:11:17,442
And the Eric Von Rone,
celebrity stylist.
300
00:11:17,475 --> 00:11:19,412
Unbelievable.
301
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,184
You Phil Miller?
302
00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:25,284
Maybe.
303
00:11:29,488 --> 00:11:31,181
You're in charge of this.
304
00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:34,961
What do I do with it?
305
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,172
This if for Margulies.
306
00:11:36,197 --> 00:11:37,242
Protect it.
307
00:11:37,267 --> 00:11:39,198
I'm down a man today, and your
supervisor said
308
00:11:39,231 --> 00:11:40,045
that you would assist me.
309
00:11:40,070 --> 00:11:41,200
Me?
310
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:42,936
I... are you sure?
311
00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:45,297
I'll retrieve its contents
before showtime.
312
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,609
Well, this is exciting.
313
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:53,546
No, it's not. It's a responsibility.
314
00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:56,114
I'm very bad at responsibility.
315
00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:57,216
Yeah.
316
00:11:57,249 --> 00:12:00,452
[energetic brass music]
317
00:12:00,485 --> 00:12:03,062
Look at that, Rojo,
318
00:12:03,742 --> 00:12:05,967
so perfect, so amazing.
319
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,491
It's, like, iconic.
320
00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:08,691
I hear that.
321
00:12:08,739 --> 00:12:10,241
Julianna's the best.
322
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:13,466
No, not Julianna, man, her team.
323
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:15,401
- Okay.
- You see that thing
324
00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:18,070
that he's doing with his brush,
the, like,
325
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:19,605
downward and then the... [whooshes]
326
00:12:19,638 --> 00:12:20,698
I... I guess.
327
00:12:20,723 --> 00:12:23,610
That is the Swish Le Dipsy.
328
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:26,045
It was developed in the mid-'80s
in a Paris hair salon.
329
00:12:26,077 --> 00:12:30,282
And it is the true mark of a
highly trained professional.
330
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:31,681
Uh, I think I might be good.
331
00:12:31,706 --> 00:12:33,119
Yeah, yeah, you're good.
332
00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:35,655
Stop drooling, Marcus.
333
00:12:35,687 --> 00:12:39,491
Hi. Oh, my gosh, so, so, so, so, pretty.
334
00:12:39,524 --> 00:12:41,026
And it's almost showtime.
335
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:44,162
And I have some great news.
336
00:12:44,196 --> 00:12:47,200
What? More details about your
animal sex fetish?
337
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,369
No, I don't... I don't fuck animals.
338
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:54,273
No, it's... you know, we talked
about you being the first guest.
339
00:12:56,308 --> 00:13:01,413
Well, you are now gonna
be the second guest.
340
00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:06,451
Are you trying to downgrade me?
341
00:13:06,484 --> 00:13:08,162
No, no, no, it's not a downgrade.
342
00:13:08,187 --> 00:13:11,291
It's an upgrade, because we...
you have to think about it
343
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:12,632
like Vegas, where there's...
344
00:13:12,657 --> 00:13:15,260
Do you think I'm stupid, dolphin fucker?
345
00:13:15,293 --> 00:13:19,999
No, I... no, I just wanted to
see if maybe we could...
346
00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:22,301
Are you trying to make
me your little bitch?
347
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:25,104
Oh, no, no, no. I would
never make you a bitch.
348
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,940
I don't want a bitch, a little
bitch, a medium bitch...
349
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,474
Okay, does this conversation
need to continue?
350
00:13:28,507 --> 00:13:30,410
Because if it does, it
won't end well for you.
351
00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:32,644
No.
352
00:13:32,677 --> 00:13:34,580
You're the first guest.
353
00:13:34,613 --> 00:13:35,797
Right.
354
00:13:35,822 --> 00:13:38,517
Well, I'm gonna need you to blood swear.
355
00:13:38,542 --> 00:13:39,580
It... what?
356
00:13:39,605 --> 00:13:41,955
[gasps] What?
357
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,994
- Blood swear, dolphin fucker.
- Oh, my God.
358
00:13:44,019 --> 00:13:45,725
Ahh! Oh, my God.
359
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:47,751
- Blood swear.
- Blood swear. Blood swear.
360
00:13:47,776 --> 00:13:48,933
Blood swear.
361
00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:51,297
Oh, my God. There's so much blood.
362
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,965
Don't drip on the M&M'S.
363
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,502
[energetic brass music]
364
00:13:56,317 --> 00:14:00,020
[energetic brass music]
365
00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:04,243
[light quirky music]
366
00:14:04,276 --> 00:14:09,373
367
00:14:09,398 --> 00:14:10,899
Those are gonna kill you.
368
00:14:10,924 --> 00:14:13,294
Oh, God, Mehmet, not today.
369
00:14:13,319 --> 00:14:14,987
I just don't want you to die, Staci.
370
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,883
From electronic cigarettes?
371
00:14:16,908 --> 00:14:18,220
They explode in your mouth.
372
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,126
You know what?
373
00:14:22,151 --> 00:14:23,730
Would it really be so bad if I died?
374
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:25,799
What's going down?
375
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,697
You know, the network hired this new guy
376
00:14:27,722 --> 00:14:29,702
to come and uplift the
talent department.
377
00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:31,596
Well, maybe they have some good ideas.
378
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,156
He doesn't have any good ideas.
379
00:14:33,181 --> 00:14:35,574
Are you threatened by them?
380
00:14:35,607 --> 00:14:37,044
No.
381
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:39,546
Maybe. I just...
382
00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:42,515
It... this is a... a perfect example
383
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,818
of people who have no
idea how the show is run
384
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,272
telling me how to produce it.
385
00:14:46,297 --> 00:14:47,821
Maybe this person has some good ideas.
386
00:14:47,853 --> 00:14:49,021
He wants to put a YouTube schmuck
387
00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:50,991
before Julianna Margulies.
388
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:54,094
Ohh, I love her skin, great actress.
389
00:14:54,437 --> 00:14:55,756
I hear a pristine colon.
390
00:14:55,781 --> 00:14:57,530
I heard the same.
391
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,399
Anyway, I tried to get her to go second.
392
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:00,801
She cut me.
393
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,702
Ooh, yeah, you don't mess with her.
394
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,527
Ooh. - You know, I...
395
00:15:04,552 --> 00:15:06,539
I also have a pristine colon.
396
00:15:08,006 --> 00:15:09,976
Doubt it.
397
00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:12,346
Listen, as I see it, you've got
two problems.
398
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,775
Problem number one, you've got to
get a long with a new team member.
399
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:15,954
And number two?
400
00:15:15,979 --> 00:15:17,516
You don't want her
cutting your skinny ass.
401
00:15:17,549 --> 00:15:21,420
Oh, you think I'm skinny.
402
00:15:21,453 --> 00:15:23,890
Staci, Staci, in order to
deal with her problem,
403
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,958
you've got to use your
team, your entire team.
404
00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:29,496
Every individual person has
some idea they can contribute,
405
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:31,965
and your job as a leader is
to harvest the best ones
406
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:33,933
and make a solution happen.
407
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:36,502
You know, I have... I have
assembled a pretty great team.
408
00:15:36,535 --> 00:15:40,106
[loud clattering]
409
00:16:03,868 --> 00:16:04,978
Not my hire.
410
00:16:05,290 --> 00:16:07,568
[energetic brass music]
411
00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:11,103
You wanted to see me.
412
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:13,692
Really hoping you solved this
Julianna Margulies thing.
413
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:17,978
- Not yet.
- Staci, the unboxer has to go on first.
414
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,478
Our younger viewers are gonna love him.
415
00:16:19,511 --> 00:16:21,665
He's a Super X-Y Brand.
416
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:24,618
That's an Infinity term.
417
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,484
We all need to get on the same page.
418
00:16:26,509 --> 00:16:28,632
Burbank and I are on one page,
419
00:16:28,657 --> 00:16:30,639
and you're not even
reading the same book.
420
00:16:30,664 --> 00:16:32,525
Just go tell her.
421
00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:34,662
Oh, I did tell her, okay?
422
00:16:34,687 --> 00:16:36,496
It's like a scene from "Psycho"
in there.
423
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:38,030
Okay, fine. I'll do it.
424
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:39,765
Super.
425
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:42,299
It's the last dressing room
at the end of the hall.
426
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:45,938
[light quirky music]
427
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,106
[knocking at door]
428
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:51,144
[door opening and closing]
429
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,839
[clattering]
430
00:16:52,864 --> 00:16:53,979
[muffled] Oh, my God.
431
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,116
[door opening]
432
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,918
Holy shit.
433
00:16:57,951 --> 00:16:59,820
- She threw a switchblade at me.
- Yeah.
434
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,922
Welcome to producing talent
on "Nightcap," Mr. Burbank.
435
00:17:02,956 --> 00:17:06,303
Her hands were so quick,
like a raven-haired ninja.
436
00:17:06,328 --> 00:17:07,990
Okay, well, how are we
gonna tell Jack the Ripper
437
00:17:08,015 --> 00:17:09,406
she's going on second?
438
00:17:09,431 --> 00:17:11,398
Well, her S-Sector score
is through the roof.
439
00:17:11,423 --> 00:17:12,731
I don't know what that means.
440
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:15,374
It means she loves to feel special.
441
00:17:15,399 --> 00:17:17,616
Okay, well, welcome to being a woman.
442
00:17:17,641 --> 00:17:19,738
But she's off the charts
in that category,
443
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:21,575
almost double the next
person on the list.
444
00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:22,879
Who's the next person on the list?
445
00:17:22,904 --> 00:17:23,975
Kanye West.
446
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,978
I have an idea. What if going on second
447
00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:28,482
meant you could have some
kind of special entrance?
448
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:29,760
What do you mean?
449
00:17:29,785 --> 00:17:31,551
Oh. Ho-ho-ho-ho.
450
00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:34,888
Blood sister. Pinkie swear.
I have got this.
451
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,923
[energetic brass music]
452
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:41,029
I'll take the briefcase now.
453
00:17:41,054 --> 00:17:42,468
Oh, finally.
454
00:17:42,493 --> 00:17:45,966
Might I suggest using a handcuff
with a fabric inner lining?
455
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,585
It prevents chafing.
456
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,940
Wait.
457
00:17:55,410 --> 00:17:57,313
Don't you want whatever's
inside of there?
458
00:17:57,338 --> 00:17:58,711
There's nothing inside there.
459
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,780
Nothing? Then why did you
have me guard it all day?
460
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:03,430
It's well-known throughout the
private security industry
461
00:18:03,455 --> 00:18:05,726
that you cause more harm than good
462
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,153
when left to your own devices.
463
00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:08,500
What do you mean by that?
464
00:18:08,525 --> 00:18:09,922
I needed you occupied
465
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:12,043
so I could properly protect Miss
Margulies.
466
00:18:12,068 --> 00:18:13,927
Hold on just a second.
467
00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:18,965
You wasted my entire day
guarding an empty briefcase?
468
00:18:18,997 --> 00:18:21,460
Yes, but it was a job well done.
469
00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:23,804
It was a job well done?
470
00:18:23,829 --> 00:18:26,233
Yes, Miss Margulies and I
thank you for your service.
471
00:18:26,258 --> 00:18:29,008
[chuckles] You're welcome.
472
00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:30,976
And you're welcome, Miss Margulies.
473
00:18:31,009 --> 00:18:33,546
[chuckles] I'm happy to be a
part of the team.
474
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:37,966
Hats off to you, Staci. This is a
475
00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:40,194
- wonderful idea.
- Thank you, Davis.
476
00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:41,678
It's brilliant, just brilliant.
477
00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:43,657
Are you ready to unbox me?
478
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:46,825
- I'm ready.
- Staci, this is awesome.
479
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:49,062
Thank you. This is exactly the kind of
480
00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:51,096
entrance I deserve.
481
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,732
- Oh, and by the way...
- Yeah.
482
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:55,722
If you're still into
the dolphin fucking,
483
00:18:55,747 --> 00:18:58,097
I know a lot of ex-cons down in St Barts
484
00:18:58,122 --> 00:18:59,651
that can totally make
that happen for you.
485
00:18:59,676 --> 00:19:01,471
Okay, I don't fuck dolphins.
486
00:19:01,496 --> 00:19:05,145
- Honey...
- Okay, hook me up.
487
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:06,746
Oh, my gosh.
488
00:19:06,778 --> 00:19:08,213
Look at this. Look at this.
489
00:19:08,246 --> 00:19:10,400
- Ahh.
- Good luck, Julianna.
490
00:19:10,425 --> 00:19:12,462
Pretty and funny. Pretty and funny.
491
00:19:12,487 --> 00:19:14,220
Oh, Davis, this is teamwork.
492
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:16,337
I'm glad I used the Infinity System
493
00:19:16,362 --> 00:19:18,032
to bring the show to the next level.
494
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:21,695
Oh... where's that switchblade?
495
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:23,729
I'm just waiting to follow you.
496
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:27,132
- Can I?
- Of course, Penny.
497
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:30,803
You remembered to put
airholes in that box, right?
498
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,204
Oh, shit.
499
00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:34,102
- Unbox her!
- Unbox her!
500
00:19:34,127 --> 00:19:35,540
- Unbox her!
- It's not safe!
501
00:19:35,565 --> 00:19:36,675
Unbox her!
502
00:19:36,708 --> 00:19:39,979
[energetic brass music]
503
00:19:46,252 --> 00:19:50,789
Sweetie, can you please hand me
that brush on the makeup table?
504
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:51,890
Me?
505
00:19:51,923 --> 00:19:54,760
Uh... of course.
506
00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:00,956
Hmm, excellent technique.
507
00:20:00,995 --> 00:20:02,470
I thank you.
508
00:20:02,495 --> 00:20:03,736
I thank you.
509
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:13,213
Hey, kid.
510
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:16,015
Catch.
511
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,999
You'll need it when you get
called up to the big leagues.
512
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:22,988
Really?
513
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,758
Your time will come soon.
514
00:20:24,782 --> 00:20:29,782
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-- www.addic7ed.com --
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