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1
00:00:00,008 --> 00:00:01,218
So, I've got it all planned out.
2
00:00:01,243 --> 00:00:02,969
I'm gonna surprise Nick
at his book reading,
3
00:00:03,039 --> 00:00:05,107
and afterwards, when he's on a big high,
4
00:00:05,132 --> 00:00:07,283
I'm gonna tell him how I feel.
5
00:00:07,318 --> 00:00:09,819
You think this is a little soon
after the breakup with Reagan?
6
00:00:09,854 --> 00:00:10,945
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
7
00:00:10,970 --> 00:00:12,922
I'm worried, very worried. (chuckles)
8
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,571
But you know what, I wrote
everything out on the plane,
9
00:00:14,606 --> 00:00:15,872
like what I'm gonna say.
10
00:00:15,907 --> 00:00:18,222
It's all on flash cards,
some of it's in song,
11
00:00:18,247 --> 00:00:20,052
I would do it for you, but...
12
00:00:20,077 --> 00:00:21,584
some of the jokes are at your expense,
13
00:00:21,609 --> 00:00:22,613
- so, uh...
- (chuckles)
14
00:00:22,638 --> 00:00:25,054
Jess, why don't you just
tell him how you feel?
15
00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:28,485
You know, no jokes, no
songs, just from the heart.
16
00:00:28,510 --> 00:00:30,728
(laughs)
17
00:00:30,753 --> 00:00:32,462
No songs.
18
00:00:32,487 --> 00:00:34,478
- (laughs)
- Yeah. No songs.
19
00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:36,535
No songs, she said.
20
00:00:36,862 --> 00:00:38,195
- NICK: "Pepperwood lay on the ground
- _
21
00:00:38,220 --> 00:00:39,938
"in a puddle of blood.
22
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:43,497
"Jessica Night broke through the
barricades and ran to his side.
23
00:00:43,522 --> 00:00:45,322
"'Even though he doesn't have muscles,
24
00:00:45,357 --> 00:00:48,258
"he seems incredibly
strong' Jessica thought,
25
00:00:48,294 --> 00:00:50,790
"as she looked into
his perfect, sexy face.
26
00:00:50,815 --> 00:00:52,690
"Even now, even covered
27
00:00:52,715 --> 00:00:55,632
"in the blood of the man
they both knew as Schmith,
28
00:00:55,668 --> 00:00:59,319
"the two sat in silence in
the hot, New Orleans night,
29
00:00:59,344 --> 00:01:02,211
"waiting for the words
that would never come."
30
00:01:03,642 --> 00:01:05,776
(audience whoops and cheers)
31
00:01:08,633 --> 00:01:10,724
I'm gonna open up the
floor to some questions.
32
00:01:10,749 --> 00:01:12,882
Uh, the young lady right here
in the strange-looking vest.
33
00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,006
No offense.
34
00:01:14,031 --> 00:01:16,608
When are Pepperwood and Jessica
Night going to get together?
35
00:01:16,633 --> 00:01:18,442
- WOMAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- That is a great question.
36
00:01:18,467 --> 00:01:20,267
(audience muttering)
37
00:01:20,732 --> 00:01:22,480
I'll just cut to it, guys.
38
00:01:22,505 --> 00:01:26,730
Uh, Pepperwood and Jessica Night
will never get together. Never.
39
00:01:26,765 --> 00:01:28,755
(low murmuring)
40
00:01:28,780 --> 00:01:30,167
I'm sorry. You guys, stop.
41
00:01:30,202 --> 00:01:32,769
It's just, look, these characters,
42
00:01:32,805 --> 00:01:35,030
they-they are based off real people.
43
00:01:35,055 --> 00:01:37,297
A-and the real people...
44
00:01:37,322 --> 00:01:39,561
are just fundamentally different.
45
00:01:39,586 --> 00:01:41,345
They don't work together.
46
00:01:41,380 --> 00:01:43,213
It's just never gonna happen.
47
00:01:43,984 --> 00:01:45,349
- You just got to forget about it.
- Excuse me.
48
00:01:45,384 --> 00:01:46,750
Move on from it.
49
00:01:49,850 --> 00:01:52,389
And also, you know,
Pepperwood, he blew it.
50
00:01:52,424 --> 00:01:54,912
Sometimes you don't get
another chance, you know,
51
00:01:54,937 --> 00:01:56,093
to-to fix the mistake.
52
00:01:56,118 --> 00:01:57,794
It's just... look, adult relationships
53
00:01:57,830 --> 00:01:58,929
are really complicated.
54
00:01:58,964 --> 00:02:00,858
So, let's hear it for books!
55
00:02:03,135 --> 00:02:06,171
All right, wow, you
guys are super intense.
56
00:02:06,196 --> 00:02:07,546
57
00:02:07,571 --> 00:02:09,734
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
58
00:02:11,452 --> 00:02:12,576
Hi.
59
00:02:12,611 --> 00:02:14,632
- I'm Merle Streep.
- I don't care.
60
00:02:14,657 --> 00:02:18,125
Okay. Um, I'm an editor and
I publish children's books,
61
00:02:18,150 --> 00:02:19,483
- so I wanted...
- Oh, congratulations to you.
62
00:02:19,518 --> 00:02:20,577
What would you like me to do about that?
63
00:02:20,602 --> 00:02:22,564
Uh, I'm about to make a call, so...
64
00:02:22,589 --> 00:02:24,304
- Nice to meet you, Merle Streep.
- (line ringing)
65
00:02:24,329 --> 00:02:27,268
- Goofy name. Okay.
- I'll... I'll... okay.
66
00:02:27,293 --> 00:02:28,759
(ringing)
67
00:02:35,087 --> 00:02:36,908
- Hey, Nick.
- Hey, this is crazy,
68
00:02:36,933 --> 00:02:39,094
but were you just at my reading?
69
00:02:39,119 --> 00:02:40,228
You're not in L.A., are you?
70
00:02:40,253 --> 00:02:42,816
No, I'm in Portland with my dad.
71
00:02:42,841 --> 00:02:44,763
- That's what I thought.
- How'd the reading go?
72
00:02:44,788 --> 00:02:45,909
Couldn't have gone better.
73
00:02:45,944 --> 00:02:47,811
I felt weirdly comfortable up there.
74
00:02:47,846 --> 00:02:50,063
- I'm so proud of you.
- Thanks.
75
00:02:53,725 --> 00:02:55,625
Reagan and I broke up.
76
00:02:55,650 --> 00:02:56,820
I got to go.
77
00:02:56,855 --> 00:02:59,265
Oh, my dad just sprained his thumb
78
00:02:59,290 --> 00:03:01,024
trying to get up off a couch.
79
00:03:01,060 --> 00:03:03,012
I'll talk to you later, Nick.
80
00:03:03,678 --> 00:03:05,761
Sorry. So, is now a
good time to talk to you?
81
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:07,746
Because I'd like to talk to
you about publishing your book.
82
00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,168
You'd like to talk to me about what?
83
00:03:09,193 --> 00:03:10,359
Publishing your book.
84
00:03:10,384 --> 00:03:12,017
What are you, some
kind of a-a publisher?
85
00:03:12,042 --> 00:03:13,091
Yeah, that's what my card...
86
00:03:13,116 --> 00:03:14,805
I was trying to give
you my card, but you...
87
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,761
- You want to publish my book?
- Yeah.
88
00:03:16,786 --> 00:03:18,886
Yeah, I want you to publish my book.
89
00:03:18,911 --> 00:03:21,044
- Is this how you normally are?
- No.
90
00:03:21,790 --> 00:03:23,256
(humming)
91
00:03:23,611 --> 00:03:25,816
(whoops) Babe, hi. Are your pants off?
92
00:03:25,841 --> 00:03:28,038
I... I went to the reading and...
93
00:03:28,063 --> 00:03:29,249
Oh, no, what happened?
94
00:03:29,274 --> 00:03:31,031
I'm so sorry I'm not wearing pants.
95
00:03:31,056 --> 00:03:32,412
Schmidt's been so busy with work,
96
00:03:32,437 --> 00:03:34,491
we scheduled a no-pants dinner thing.
97
00:03:34,526 --> 00:03:37,027
Do you want me to
take my pants off, too?
98
00:03:37,062 --> 00:03:39,210
Oh, no, honey. Tell me everything.
99
00:03:39,437 --> 00:03:41,465
ALY: That's it. I'm all moved in.
100
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:44,901
This is my last box and it's
labeled "holiday important."
101
00:03:44,937 --> 00:03:47,003
So, it's definitely sex toys.
102
00:03:47,039 --> 00:03:49,172
(laughs) Well, then I
wonder what's in this box.
103
00:03:49,208 --> 00:03:50,756
It's labeled "documents."
104
00:03:50,781 --> 00:03:53,010
Eh, it's just documents. (chuckles)
105
00:03:53,035 --> 00:03:54,193
Oh, no, no, no. That's nothing.
106
00:03:54,246 --> 00:03:56,537
- I...
- Wait, wait, wait.
107
00:03:57,436 --> 00:04:00,050
You have a mug shot
of the diaper bandit?
108
00:04:00,085 --> 00:04:02,052
- With a phone number on the back?
- All right.
109
00:04:02,087 --> 00:04:05,055
Listen, I-I wanted to wait for
the right time to tell you this.
110
00:04:05,090 --> 00:04:06,423
Have you been keeping in
touch with the diaper bandit?
111
00:04:06,458 --> 00:04:09,121
What? No. No, listen. I...
112
00:04:09,146 --> 00:04:12,796
That's actually your dad's phone number.
113
00:04:14,535 --> 00:04:17,402
You said you wanted to find him, so...
114
00:04:18,293 --> 00:04:19,692
I found him.
115
00:04:26,386 --> 00:04:28,378
(whispering): My dad
is the diaper bandit?
116
00:04:28,414 --> 00:04:29,746
- No.
- Oh.
117
00:04:29,771 --> 00:04:32,215
- Forget about the diaper bandit.
- That'd have been weird.
118
00:04:42,227 --> 00:04:43,360
SCHMIDT: Cece...
119
00:04:43,395 --> 00:04:46,170
(singsongy): I'm not wearing any pants.
120
00:04:46,701 --> 00:04:47,743
(whispering): Honey.
121
00:04:47,768 --> 00:04:49,866
- (screaming)
- Oh, no! Oh, no!
122
00:04:49,902 --> 00:04:51,301
I touched one of your
breasts! Where is my wife?!
123
00:04:51,336 --> 00:04:52,784
I can never be the same!
124
00:04:52,809 --> 00:04:54,275
(both panting)
125
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:56,533
- Let's just move on.
- I'm fine. No, it's fine.
126
00:04:56,558 --> 00:04:58,878
I panicked, and I told
him I was in Portland,
127
00:04:58,903 --> 00:05:01,087
and now I can't go back to the loft.
128
00:05:01,112 --> 00:05:02,112
To play devil's advocate,
129
00:05:02,137 --> 00:05:04,307
he was just talking about
characters in his novel.
130
00:05:04,332 --> 00:05:06,071
I mean, look, the character based on me
131
00:05:06,096 --> 00:05:09,282
is a Jewish psychopath
who wears a bolo tie
132
00:05:09,307 --> 00:05:11,579
and eats applesauce
out of a baboon's skull.
133
00:05:11,604 --> 00:05:13,404
No, he was talking about us.
134
00:05:13,429 --> 00:05:15,463
He just doesn't feel the way I feel.
135
00:05:15,488 --> 00:05:18,048
I... I can't see him.
136
00:05:18,073 --> 00:05:21,035
Hey, it's me, Nick. In three, two...
137
00:05:21,060 --> 00:05:22,368
- Hang on, wrong key.
- SCHMIDT: Get in the kitchen.
138
00:05:22,393 --> 00:05:24,380
- Go, shoo, scram.
- NICK: That was for my chest drawer.
139
00:05:26,871 --> 00:05:28,398
- Got it.
- SCHMIDT: My man.
140
00:05:28,423 --> 00:05:29,611
(Nick sighs)
141
00:05:30,402 --> 00:05:32,002
I don't love this couch.
142
00:05:32,038 --> 00:05:33,402
Did you take the tags off already?
143
00:05:33,427 --> 00:05:34,902
It's the perfect couch.
What are you doing here?
144
00:05:34,927 --> 00:05:37,191
Well, I need to talk to you and
my phone's only at five percent.
145
00:05:37,216 --> 00:05:38,916
- Well, why didn't you...
- I can't find the charger.
146
00:05:38,941 --> 00:05:40,645
- It's under Winston's pillow.
- I looked in Winston's room.
147
00:05:40,670 --> 00:05:42,830
- Did you look under the pillow?
- Yeah, yeah. I...
148
00:05:42,855 --> 00:05:44,051
- Yeah. I went in there. I...
- No, you didn't.
149
00:05:44,076 --> 00:05:46,768
I didn't look in Winston's room,
but I need to talk to you.
150
00:05:46,793 --> 00:05:48,904
An editor wants to publish my book.
151
00:05:48,929 --> 00:05:50,757
Pass immediately and
start a bidding war.
152
00:05:50,782 --> 00:05:52,336
I'm getting ahead of myself. Mazel.
153
00:05:52,361 --> 00:05:54,154
- That's incredible, Nick.
- Thanks.
154
00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:55,813
I called Jess, but she didn't answer.
155
00:05:55,838 --> 00:05:57,705
I was really hoping to
tell her about it, but...
156
00:05:57,730 --> 00:05:59,496
she hung up on me earlier and
now she won't pick up the phone.
157
00:05:59,530 --> 00:06:01,616
- What are you doing?
- Shh! Shh, shh!
158
00:06:01,641 --> 00:06:03,261
(whispering): What, what, what?
159
00:06:04,070 --> 00:06:06,136
- Oh, Nick's here?
- Shh! You're yelling.
160
00:06:06,161 --> 00:06:07,464
- I'm not yelling.
- You're yelling.
161
00:06:07,489 --> 00:06:09,006
You're coming with me
to the meeting tomorrow.
162
00:06:09,041 --> 00:06:10,841
- (phone beeps)
- I'm picking you up at 9:00 A.M.
163
00:06:12,044 --> 00:06:14,253
- I have to go to the kitchen.
- I'll come with. I'm starving.
164
00:06:14,278 --> 00:06:15,769
No. Where are you...
165
00:06:15,794 --> 00:06:18,112
Come to the kitchen with me then, Nick.
166
00:06:19,144 --> 00:06:20,564
(whispering): Wait,
why are you crawling?
167
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:22,745
(whispering): I don't know. Just go.
168
00:06:24,430 --> 00:06:25,833
(groans)
169
00:06:26,207 --> 00:06:27,318
- Hey, do you have any...
- (phone beeps)
170
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:28,748
angel hair pasta in
here? I don't see it.
171
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,100
Ooh, you know what? Uh....
172
00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:31,662
excuse me, I have to
go to the bedroom now.
173
00:06:33,366 --> 00:06:34,710
(quietly): Jess, this is very stressful.
174
00:06:34,735 --> 00:06:37,155
I know. Look, tomorrow, you need
to go to that meeting with Nick
175
00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:39,414
and you need to stay
with him until I'm packed.
176
00:06:39,460 --> 00:06:41,646
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, packed?
- I just army-crawled...
177
00:06:41,671 --> 00:06:44,671
across your entire house to
get away from my ex-boyfriend...
178
00:06:44,899 --> 00:06:46,799
... who I still live with.
179
00:06:46,834 --> 00:06:49,049
I-I can't do this anymore.
180
00:06:49,074 --> 00:06:52,557
I need, I need to get out
of here and get some space.
181
00:06:53,941 --> 00:06:55,541
I'm moving out of the loft.
182
00:06:55,576 --> 00:06:56,791
What?
183
00:06:59,775 --> 00:07:01,166
I couldn't find your trash bin,
184
00:07:01,191 --> 00:07:02,548
so I threw it away in the toilet.
185
00:07:02,573 --> 00:07:04,533
- What'd you throw in the toilet?
- The, uh, salami in the fridge.
186
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:06,477
- What?
- I didn't flush it.
187
00:07:06,502 --> 00:07:08,194
So, you're gonna have a bunch of salami
188
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:10,014
floating around in your toilet bowl.
189
00:07:10,039 --> 00:07:11,318
What?
190
00:07:12,710 --> 00:07:13,976
So Jess is just moving out
191
00:07:14,011 --> 00:07:16,749
because Nick said
something dumb at a reading?
192
00:07:16,774 --> 00:07:18,674
Nick is always dumb. He's
the dumbest boy in school.
193
00:07:18,709 --> 00:07:20,276
I had no idea you cared so much about
194
00:07:20,311 --> 00:07:21,840
what happens to Nick and Jess.
195
00:07:21,865 --> 00:07:23,433
How could I not? I've
been watching these idiots
196
00:07:23,458 --> 00:07:25,187
do this dance for the last six years.
197
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:27,699
He's rough and tumble.
She's sweet and sassy.
198
00:07:27,724 --> 00:07:29,702
It's the moon and the tides,
it's the push and the pull.
199
00:07:29,727 --> 00:07:32,007
I know, it just makes so much sense.
200
00:07:32,032 --> 00:07:33,803
I'm gonna go tell him
that she loves him.
201
00:07:34,023 --> 00:07:35,255
I'm gonna go tell him
that she loves him,
202
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:36,488
I'm gonna burst in the door,
and I'm gonna say,
203
00:07:36,513 --> 00:07:37,584
"Nick, she loves you," and then...
204
00:07:37,609 --> 00:07:40,179
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We cannot get involved.
205
00:07:40,204 --> 00:07:41,327
Okay.
206
00:07:41,352 --> 00:07:42,444
- Okay?
- You're right.
207
00:07:42,469 --> 00:07:44,015
- You're right, okay.
- All right. Okay.
208
00:07:44,374 --> 00:07:45,756
(both sigh)
209
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,248
- I should've worn shorts.
- No, no.
210
00:07:48,273 --> 00:07:49,606
I would've looked amazing in shorts.
211
00:07:49,641 --> 00:07:52,142
I got rid of all the
shorts, you nut-ball.
212
00:07:52,601 --> 00:07:54,744
You are really grumpy this morning.
213
00:07:54,788 --> 00:07:56,998
Well, I was up late last night,
214
00:07:57,023 --> 00:07:59,349
- talking to Cece about you.
- For what?
215
00:07:59,374 --> 00:08:01,795
Nick, I want to tell
you something, but...
216
00:08:02,872 --> 00:08:04,029
but I can't.
217
00:08:04,054 --> 00:08:05,800
So I'm just gonna ask you this:
218
00:08:05,825 --> 00:08:07,757
why on earth...
219
00:08:07,793 --> 00:08:10,443
do you think that you are so okay...
220
00:08:10,468 --> 00:08:11,568
with this Reagan breakup?
221
00:08:11,593 --> 00:08:13,513
Reagan and I are at
different places of our life.
222
00:08:13,538 --> 00:08:15,521
It's fine. Why hasn't
Jess called me back?
223
00:08:15,546 --> 00:08:16,711
You guys are pretty good friends, right?
224
00:08:16,736 --> 00:08:18,501
But if you remember correctly,
225
00:08:18,537 --> 00:08:20,503
you didn't even want Jess
to move in to the loft.
226
00:08:20,539 --> 00:08:21,821
Nick, why do you think that is?
227
00:08:21,846 --> 00:08:23,844
I'm pretty freaked out
by sanitary napkins.
228
00:08:23,869 --> 00:08:26,141
Why don't you think you wanted
Jess to move in to the loft?
229
00:08:26,166 --> 00:08:28,912
I don't know, 'cause I,
'cause I was afraid.
230
00:08:29,727 --> 00:08:31,781
Nick, you have been
in love with this girl
231
00:08:31,817 --> 00:08:33,883
from the moment you opened the door
232
00:08:33,908 --> 00:08:35,820
and you first laid eyes on her.
233
00:08:36,378 --> 00:08:39,479
I have never seen you
look at anyone else...
234
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,164
like that in my entire life.
235
00:08:41,203 --> 00:08:43,383
Except maybe, on a few occasions, me.
236
00:08:43,408 --> 00:08:45,133
I've never looked at you
the same way I look at Jess.
237
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:47,425
- There's been a few times.
- I... there's never been a time.
238
00:08:47,446 --> 00:08:49,186
You looked at Coach maybe
once or twice like that.
239
00:08:49,211 --> 00:08:51,678
Me, several times.
Winston, never. Let's table it.
240
00:08:51,703 --> 00:08:52,930
You're wrong.
241
00:08:52,955 --> 00:08:55,008
The first time I saw Jess...
242
00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:56,961
was I was standing in her empty room,
243
00:08:56,986 --> 00:08:58,296
and I was looking out the window.
244
00:08:58,321 --> 00:09:00,009
- She was trying to get in the building.
- Okay.
245
00:09:00,034 --> 00:09:01,804
Pretty hilarious. She
didn't have her glasses on,
246
00:09:01,829 --> 00:09:03,103
and she was bumping into stuff.
247
00:09:03,128 --> 00:09:04,927
Will you listen to yourself?
248
00:09:05,423 --> 00:09:07,986
I shouldn't be telling you this, but...
249
00:09:08,868 --> 00:09:11,564
Jess is not in Portland. She's here.
250
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,567
And she's packing up her stuff because
251
00:09:13,602 --> 00:09:16,338
she's going to move out
of the loft for good.
252
00:09:16,363 --> 00:09:17,554
Nick.
253
00:09:17,579 --> 00:09:19,058
Wait, she's gonna move out of the loft?
254
00:09:19,083 --> 00:09:22,267
For once in your life, don't be afraid.
255
00:09:23,962 --> 00:09:25,856
Ready to come in and talk?
256
00:09:30,175 --> 00:09:32,941
Hello. I'm, uh, Winston Schmidt,
257
00:09:32,966 --> 00:09:34,831
Nick's associate. That's right.
258
00:09:34,856 --> 00:09:37,425
Children's literature
just got a brand-new daddy.
259
00:09:37,450 --> 00:09:38,581
What?
260
00:09:38,606 --> 00:09:41,662
Children's literature
just got a brand-new daddy.
261
00:09:41,775 --> 00:09:44,628
Don't say that here
anymore, okay? Thank you.
262
00:09:47,550 --> 00:09:48,769
So sorry I'm late,
263
00:09:48,804 --> 00:09:51,113
but Sadie would not stop
going on about her divorce,
264
00:09:51,153 --> 00:09:52,464
and I was like,
"Girl, can you just be quiet
265
00:09:52,489 --> 00:09:53,519
"and look at my vagina, please?"
266
00:09:53,544 --> 00:09:55,300
The fact that we have
the same gynecologist
267
00:09:55,325 --> 00:09:56,758
really makes me feel closer to you.
268
00:09:56,783 --> 00:09:58,105
Wait, is this all you have packed?
269
00:09:58,130 --> 00:09:59,870
I mean, Nick's gonna
be here in two hours.
270
00:09:59,895 --> 00:10:01,535
- I know.
- Hey.
271
00:10:01,706 --> 00:10:03,340
You know what? If this
is too hard right now,
272
00:10:03,365 --> 00:10:04,714
you don't have to do this.
273
00:10:04,739 --> 00:10:07,322
Just give yourself some
time and think it through.
274
00:10:07,354 --> 00:10:10,065
If my stuff is here, I'll
just end up living here again.
275
00:10:10,090 --> 00:10:12,675
You know me; I live
where my stuff lives.
276
00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:14,134
When I come back for the school year,
277
00:10:14,159 --> 00:10:16,306
I'll... find a new place.
278
00:10:16,689 --> 00:10:18,074
All right. Well, if we're gonna do this,
279
00:10:18,099 --> 00:10:19,262
then we better get moving.
280
00:10:19,287 --> 00:10:20,762
Yep. My God, I'm gonna miss you so much.
281
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,721
I'm gonna miss you so much, too.
282
00:10:22,746 --> 00:10:23,965
But it's just one summer. It's fine.
283
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:25,316
Okay, I know, but I'm
just gonna miss you.
284
00:10:25,341 --> 00:10:26,645
Me, too.
285
00:10:26,670 --> 00:10:27,934
- This is dumb!
- It's one summer.
286
00:10:27,959 --> 00:10:29,075
- It's one summer.
- It's one summer. It's fine.
287
00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:30,580
We can get through
one summer. It's fine.
288
00:10:30,605 --> 00:10:31,744
I'm gonna miss you, like, day-to-day.
289
00:10:31,779 --> 00:10:33,473
Who am I gonna talk to every day?
290
00:10:35,807 --> 00:10:38,417
Mine, mine... is this mine?
291
00:10:38,458 --> 00:10:39,662
Are you collecting things for Goodwill?
292
00:10:39,687 --> 00:10:41,909
I'm not donating things, I'm moving out.
293
00:10:41,934 --> 00:10:42,966
BOTH: What?
294
00:10:42,991 --> 00:10:45,612
Look, I'm just going to Portland
for the summer to get away.
295
00:10:45,637 --> 00:10:48,037
Sure. You go to Portland,
have a fun summer,
296
00:10:48,062 --> 00:10:49,762
but then what about after that?
297
00:10:49,987 --> 00:10:52,259
Huh? When will we see you?
298
00:10:52,284 --> 00:10:54,200
Who will your friends be?
Who you gonna hang out with?
299
00:10:54,235 --> 00:10:55,735
Okay, think about the people
you are leaving behind.
300
00:10:55,770 --> 00:10:58,423
Also, side note, Aly
has my dad's number!
301
00:10:58,448 --> 00:11:00,160
- Okay.
- Wait, what?
302
00:11:00,185 --> 00:11:02,842
- I got his dad's number.
- My dad's name is Van, by the way.
303
00:11:02,867 --> 00:11:05,126
Oh, my God, Winston, that's a huge deal!
304
00:11:05,161 --> 00:11:07,542
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Are you gonna call him?
305
00:11:10,622 --> 00:11:11,995
No.
306
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,753
I can't call my dad. I just can't.
307
00:11:15,778 --> 00:11:16,948
You know what?
308
00:11:16,973 --> 00:11:18,699
You don't have to call
him if you don't want to.
309
00:11:18,724 --> 00:11:20,472
You can always just
escape to Portland...
310
00:11:20,497 --> 00:11:22,295
Oh, my God!
311
00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:24,411
You can come with me to Portland!
312
00:11:24,436 --> 00:11:25,647
Furgie's gonna love it.
313
00:11:25,672 --> 00:11:27,239
It's the second most
cat-friendly Portland
314
00:11:27,264 --> 00:11:29,279
after Portland, Maine,
according to Paws magazine.
315
00:11:29,304 --> 00:11:31,327
- Are you going to Portland?
- No.
316
00:11:31,352 --> 00:11:33,209
Portland is hella white.
317
00:11:34,170 --> 00:11:35,639
(phone ringing)
318
00:11:36,165 --> 00:11:37,507
Ooh. (chuckles)
319
00:11:37,532 --> 00:11:38,858
Sadie.
320
00:11:39,022 --> 00:11:40,208
Hello.
321
00:11:40,249 --> 00:11:43,202
(singsongy): Cece, you're pregnant.
322
00:11:47,733 --> 00:11:49,312
Oh, my God...
323
00:11:49,337 --> 00:11:50,773
Cece's pregnant.
324
00:11:50,801 --> 00:11:52,850
Why are you picking up
someone else's phone?
325
00:11:52,875 --> 00:11:54,702
Call back in five
minutes, and we will agree
326
00:11:54,727 --> 00:11:57,116
to lie to our friend for
the rest of our lives.
327
00:11:57,170 --> 00:11:58,774
Oh, God. You're gonna be in my office
328
00:11:58,809 --> 00:11:59,975
throughout the pregnancy, aren't you?
329
00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:01,143
(door closes)
330
00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:02,912
So I am double-parked,
so if you got any boxes
331
00:12:02,937 --> 00:12:04,490
I can take down to the car.
332
00:12:06,122 --> 00:12:08,255
What's up? Why are you so happy?
333
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:10,285
I just love boxes so much.
334
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:11,506
Can I have one to take to the car?
335
00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:12,988
- It's heavy.
- I'm fine.
336
00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:15,442
Oh, okay. We can go
together. That's fine.
337
00:12:15,467 --> 00:12:16,992
I-I like quality time.
338
00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:18,693
(phone ringing)
339
00:12:18,729 --> 00:12:20,629
- Oh, you should go get your phone.
- No, no, no.
340
00:12:20,664 --> 00:12:21,966
Let's just get this box down.
341
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,532
- Okay.
- Hey, can someone grab my phone?
342
00:12:23,567 --> 00:12:26,599
What if it's about your
booming model business?
343
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:29,488
- ALY: Hello?
- Cece, you're pregnant!
344
00:12:29,513 --> 00:12:31,248
Oh, my God, Cece's pregnant!
345
00:12:31,273 --> 00:12:32,857
- Who the hell is this?
- Cece's pregnant?
346
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,776
Sorry. I-I'm Aly, Winston's fianc?e.
347
00:12:34,812 --> 00:12:36,183
Cece is pregnant?
348
00:12:36,208 --> 00:12:38,266
- Winston's married to Cece.
- Winston Bishop.
349
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,399
Cece's pregnant. Cece's pregnant.
350
00:12:39,424 --> 00:12:40,797
Oh, my God, Cece's pregnant, everybody!
351
00:12:40,822 --> 00:12:42,446
- Oh, my God.
- (laughs)
352
00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:43,703
No need to yell.
353
00:12:43,728 --> 00:12:45,520
Tell Cece to call me.
354
00:12:45,548 --> 00:12:47,422
Got to head back down in the mine.
355
00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:50,192
Hey, can we hustle? I got a
hair appointment in an hour.
356
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:52,093
It's a real upstairs,
downstairs kind of day.
357
00:12:52,129 --> 00:12:53,461
Gotcha.
358
00:12:57,062 --> 00:12:58,795
(ringing)
359
00:12:59,015 --> 00:13:00,802
What, Winston? I'm using social media.
360
00:13:00,838 --> 00:13:02,137
Oh, my God, Schmidt.
361
00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:03,821
Why didn't you tell me
you were gonna be a papa?
362
00:13:03,846 --> 00:13:04,940
No, no, no, no.
363
00:13:04,975 --> 00:13:06,374
What do you mean, "papa"?
What are you talking about?
364
00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:08,243
- Pull the plug.
- Sadie told Aly that Cece is pregnant.
365
00:13:08,278 --> 00:13:10,245
- Pull the... pull the plug.
- What? Why would she do that?
366
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,898
- 'Cause she pregnant.
- Winston, he doesn't know.
367
00:13:14,734 --> 00:13:17,319
Oh, oh, oh, no...
368
00:13:17,344 --> 00:13:18,677
Ah...
369
00:13:18,712 --> 00:13:20,898
No... I messed up just now.
370
00:13:20,923 --> 00:13:21,953
W-Winston.
371
00:13:21,978 --> 00:13:23,756
You weren't supposed to know
that, so don't know that.
372
00:13:23,781 --> 00:13:26,015
- Is that true? What's going on?
- Hey, Schmidt. It's Jess.
373
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,179
I'm so sorry. I picked up
Cece's phone, it was Sadie,
374
00:13:28,204 --> 00:13:31,009
and she told me the news, and
now everybody knows but Cece.
375
00:13:31,034 --> 00:13:32,578
So I'm gonna send her home.
376
00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:34,269
Okay, okay, but Jess, um...
377
00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:36,338
Plea... (sighs)
378
00:13:36,734 --> 00:13:38,139
Is it true?
379
00:13:38,228 --> 00:13:39,861
Yeah. It's true.
380
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:41,644
Just get home.
381
00:13:41,669 --> 00:13:43,335
She needs to hear it from you.
382
00:13:45,508 --> 00:13:47,079
Miracle of miracles!
383
00:13:47,104 --> 00:13:48,805
Finally got a parking spot.
384
00:13:48,992 --> 00:13:50,344
Why y'all just staring at me?
385
00:13:50,369 --> 00:13:52,444
Just really happy you found that spot.
386
00:13:52,469 --> 00:13:54,694
Man, people wait their whole
lives looking for a spot.
387
00:13:54,719 --> 00:13:55,968
Thank you.
388
00:13:55,993 --> 00:13:57,969
And here, you've been blessed.
389
00:13:59,097 --> 00:14:00,464
With a spot.
390
00:14:02,399 --> 00:14:04,666
MERLE: Okay, so I do have a few changes.
391
00:14:04,701 --> 00:14:05,945
Take or leave.
392
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,747
What if we kill off Jessica
Night in the next book?
393
00:14:08,772 --> 00:14:10,018
What?
394
00:14:10,043 --> 00:14:12,373
I was thinking that she could
be Schmith's next victim.
395
00:14:12,398 --> 00:14:13,695
We could do it in a big way,
396
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,787
like, he drops a piano on her head.
397
00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:17,711
- (blows raspberry) Done-zo.
- What?
398
00:14:17,736 --> 00:14:19,758
Maybe she takes a
baseball right to the face.
399
00:14:19,783 --> 00:14:20,851
Batter out!
400
00:14:20,876 --> 00:14:23,000
- Have you ever done this before?
- Yes, actually.
401
00:14:23,025 --> 00:14:25,201
I published the entire
Bitch Witch series.
402
00:14:25,226 --> 00:14:27,631
Bitch Witch Christmas,
Bitch Witch Prom Night,
403
00:14:27,656 --> 00:14:30,172
- and Bitch Witches of Rhode Island.
- Yeah. Okay.
404
00:14:30,197 --> 00:14:32,261
Look, Nick, I-I get
405
00:14:32,286 --> 00:14:34,219
that you're afraid to make changes.
406
00:14:35,576 --> 00:14:37,353
Actually, I'm not afraid.
407
00:14:39,056 --> 00:14:41,478
- Okay, then you'll think about it.
- (chuckles softly)
408
00:14:45,008 --> 00:14:46,741
No, I'm not gonna make those changes
409
00:14:46,766 --> 00:14:49,046
because those-those
ideas are really bad.
410
00:14:49,071 --> 00:14:50,712
- Well, I...
- Jessica Night is the whole reason
411
00:14:50,747 --> 00:14:53,615
Pepperwood gets out of bed every day.
412
00:14:53,857 --> 00:14:54,890
NICK: Schmidt?!
413
00:14:54,915 --> 00:14:56,962
You were right! Schmidt?
414
00:14:56,991 --> 00:14:58,173
Uh, he had to go,
415
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,922
but he left the name and number
of his favorite Uber driver,
416
00:15:00,958 --> 00:15:03,329
uh, Beezus "The Man" Tequito.
417
00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:05,060
All right.
418
00:15:05,095 --> 00:15:06,494
Mr. Beezus.
419
00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:08,229
Mr. Schmidt likes to party.
420
00:15:08,265 --> 00:15:09,891
You like to party?
421
00:15:10,384 --> 00:15:11,933
Oh, very cool lights.
422
00:15:11,969 --> 00:15:14,509
But, no, uh, Beezus, I...
I don't like to party...
423
00:15:14,534 --> 00:15:16,304
It's not the first time I've heard that.
424
00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:17,439
I'm gonna go see a girl.
425
00:15:17,474 --> 00:15:19,324
- Oh, good for you.
- Yeah.
426
00:15:19,549 --> 00:15:20,894
Want to hear some music?
427
00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:22,785
Sure, yeah, that could be inspiring.
428
00:15:22,810 --> 00:15:24,379
Hot cross buns
429
00:15:24,414 --> 00:15:25,846
Hot cross buns
430
00:15:25,871 --> 00:15:27,549
One a penny, two a penny
431
00:15:27,584 --> 00:15:29,683
Hot cross buns
432
00:15:32,656 --> 00:15:34,028
Second chorus.
433
00:15:34,053 --> 00:15:35,457
Hot cross buns
434
00:15:35,492 --> 00:15:36,637
Yeah, I cannot believe
Schmidt likes this.
435
00:15:36,662 --> 00:15:37,948
Good when they're old
436
00:15:37,973 --> 00:15:39,223
But eat them when you can
437
00:15:39,248 --> 00:15:42,077
They're not as good
when they're cold
438
00:15:42,102 --> 00:15:43,902
Hot cross buns
439
00:15:47,649 --> 00:15:49,117
(sighs)
440
00:15:49,142 --> 00:15:51,719
WINSTON: Last box in the truck. Mm.
441
00:15:51,744 --> 00:15:54,141
I haven't seen this room
this empty since Steve left.
442
00:15:54,166 --> 00:15:55,289
Who's Steve?
443
00:15:55,314 --> 00:15:57,311
Oh, he was the guy who lived
in this room before Jess.
444
00:15:57,336 --> 00:15:58,738
Real night screamer.
445
00:15:58,763 --> 00:16:01,375
He couldn't sleep unless he was
screaming a whole bunch. Yeah.
446
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,766
Oh, I guess I should give you my keys.
447
00:16:03,791 --> 00:16:06,180
Are you really not gonna
tell Nick how you feel?
448
00:16:07,569 --> 00:16:09,502
- That's such a Steve move.
- (chuckles)
449
00:16:09,538 --> 00:16:10,641
Steve was in love with Nick?
450
00:16:10,666 --> 00:16:12,586
Oh, yeah, and he never told him.
451
00:16:12,611 --> 00:16:14,461
That... sweet, gay coward.
452
00:16:14,486 --> 00:16:17,120
Maybe Steve left this place and-and...
453
00:16:17,218 --> 00:16:20,491
and finally got the
space that he needed to...
454
00:16:20,516 --> 00:16:22,519
become a better version of himself.
455
00:16:22,544 --> 00:16:23,937
Yeah, I mean, he's selling
tires in Little Rock.
456
00:16:23,962 --> 00:16:26,463
Okay, well, forget Steve.
Look, I know I'm being a coward.
457
00:16:26,488 --> 00:16:28,109
Jess, I know you.
458
00:16:28,617 --> 00:16:30,742
You can't walk away
without talking to him.
459
00:16:30,767 --> 00:16:33,234
This is how I have to move on, and...
460
00:16:34,024 --> 00:16:35,406
I have to go.
461
00:16:36,491 --> 00:16:38,431
- Let's get on the road.
- Okay.
462
00:16:41,454 --> 00:16:42,798
Wait.
463
00:16:45,848 --> 00:16:47,103
(sighs)
464
00:16:49,130 --> 00:16:50,563
(line ringing)
465
00:16:53,475 --> 00:16:55,374
VAN (recorded): You've
reached Van. Leave a message.
466
00:16:55,399 --> 00:16:56,665
(beep)
467
00:16:58,978 --> 00:17:00,313
Hello, Van.
468
00:17:00,349 --> 00:17:02,744
This is Winston Bishop.
469
00:17:02,769 --> 00:17:04,146
I'm your son.
470
00:17:04,415 --> 00:17:06,453
I'm calling to tell you
that I am getting married
471
00:17:06,478 --> 00:17:09,822
to the most amazing woman in the world.
472
00:17:10,744 --> 00:17:13,970
And I turned out pretty
great, too, so, um...
473
00:17:14,003 --> 00:17:15,945
call me whenever you're ready.
474
00:17:15,970 --> 00:17:17,650
Oh, also, I have a cat.
475
00:17:17,675 --> 00:17:19,776
He's not ready to have
a relationship with you,
476
00:17:19,801 --> 00:17:22,189
so just don't try to force it on him.
477
00:17:22,312 --> 00:17:23,642
(phone beeps)
478
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:26,970
Yeah, so...
479
00:17:26,995 --> 00:17:28,775
now it's your turn.
480
00:17:28,810 --> 00:17:30,554
Be brave.
481
00:17:31,103 --> 00:17:32,445
I can't.
482
00:17:32,543 --> 00:17:34,009
I'm sorry.
483
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:41,751
Hey, babe, I'm back. Whew!
484
00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:43,837
(sighs)
485
00:17:44,642 --> 00:17:46,056
What's, uh...
486
00:17:47,420 --> 00:17:49,025
what's happening?
487
00:17:49,267 --> 00:17:50,790
I'm pregnant.
488
00:17:51,099 --> 00:17:53,500
- What?
- I mean, you're pregnant.
489
00:17:53,535 --> 00:17:55,181
We're pregnant. (chuckles)
490
00:17:55,322 --> 00:17:56,906
Sadie called you,
491
00:17:56,931 --> 00:17:59,314
and-and Jess picked up,
492
00:17:59,415 --> 00:18:01,408
then she called again
and Winston picked up,
493
00:18:01,443 --> 00:18:02,776
Winston told me.
494
00:18:02,811 --> 00:18:04,823
It's an upsetting scene, but, um,
495
00:18:04,848 --> 00:18:06,680
we're having a baby, Cece.
496
00:18:07,470 --> 00:18:08,773
I wanted to buy you flowers,
497
00:18:08,798 --> 00:18:10,502
but I couldn't pick out...
498
00:18:10,527 --> 00:18:12,187
which ones, so...
499
00:18:12,212 --> 00:18:14,020
We're having a baby?
500
00:18:14,045 --> 00:18:15,884
We're having a baby.
501
00:18:16,587 --> 00:18:18,408
(whispers): We're having a baby.
502
00:18:20,796 --> 00:18:23,048
I really didn't think it
was gonna happen for us.
503
00:18:23,073 --> 00:18:24,473
It's a caramel miracle.
504
00:18:24,498 --> 00:18:26,331
(both laugh)
505
00:18:34,105 --> 00:18:36,005
BEEZUS: Don't forget
to give me five stars!
506
00:18:36,111 --> 00:18:37,711
NICK: Three and a half! Thanks, Beezus!
507
00:18:37,746 --> 00:18:39,279
Hey, let's turn on some music.
508
00:18:39,314 --> 00:18:41,047
(radio stations changing)
509
00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:43,082
- Oldies station okay, everybody?
-
The time of my life...
510
00:18:43,654 --> 00:18:46,542
I think I'd be really
happy working as a mover.
511
00:18:46,684 --> 00:18:48,229
I like the gloves,
512
00:18:48,254 --> 00:18:49,833
I like the excitement.
513
00:18:50,223 --> 00:18:52,473
It's the truth
514
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:55,123
And I owe it all to you...
515
00:18:55,148 --> 00:18:56,963
Sit back and watch the job get done.
516
00:18:56,988 --> 00:18:58,408
Winston's right.
517
00:18:58,443 --> 00:18:59,900
Portland, huh?
518
00:18:59,935 --> 00:19:01,722
Land of the muskrat.
519
00:19:01,747 --> 00:19:03,490
- Pull over!
- I mean, I'm in the middle...
520
00:19:03,515 --> 00:19:05,171
- Just pull over.
- We're in traffic and we're parked!
521
00:19:05,207 --> 00:19:06,427
I was just trying to, you
know... okay, I'll go up.
522
00:19:06,452 --> 00:19:08,240
I'll go up a few blocks, that's fine.
523
00:19:09,659 --> 00:19:11,060
Jess?
524
00:19:20,255 --> 00:19:21,927
(sighs softly)
525
00:19:26,459 --> 00:19:29,596
JESS (outside): Can anyone
help me get in the building?!
526
00:19:29,631 --> 00:19:30,937
Hey, dog!
527
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,857
Can you bark for someone?
528
00:19:33,504 --> 00:19:34,736
Bark, dog!
529
00:19:34,761 --> 00:19:36,027
Bark!
530
00:19:37,146 --> 00:19:39,239
(imitates dog barking)
531
00:19:39,274 --> 00:19:42,029
Ah! Screw you.
532
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:46,152
Can anyone help me get in the building?!
533
00:19:46,177 --> 00:19:48,047
I gave away my key!
534
00:19:48,083 --> 00:19:49,420
Anyone?
535
00:19:49,445 --> 00:19:50,959
Jess!
536
00:19:54,639 --> 00:19:56,912
Hang on, I'm coming down!
537
00:19:59,522 --> 00:20:01,177
(sighs)
538
00:20:04,784 --> 00:20:06,731
Oh, hey, hold the door. Thanks.
539
00:20:06,756 --> 00:20:07,834
(dog barking)
540
00:20:07,859 --> 00:20:09,469
Now you find your voice?
541
00:20:09,494 --> 00:20:12,225
But I hear sounds in my mind...
542
00:20:12,250 --> 00:20:13,834
Come on, come on, come on.
543
00:20:16,978 --> 00:20:19,738
Brand-new sounds in my mind...
544
00:20:19,763 --> 00:20:21,062
Come on.
545
00:20:22,092 --> 00:20:23,404
But, honey
546
00:20:23,429 --> 00:20:25,919
I'll be seeing you
547
00:20:25,954 --> 00:20:27,387
Ever I go
548
00:20:27,412 --> 00:20:28,745
(grunts)
549
00:20:29,740 --> 00:20:33,271
But, honey, I'll be seeing you
550
00:20:33,296 --> 00:20:35,248
Down every road...
551
00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:39,340
Jess, where'd you go?!
552
00:20:39,365 --> 00:20:41,067
- Jess!
- Nick!
553
00:20:41,092 --> 00:20:42,428
Why are you down there?
554
00:20:42,453 --> 00:20:44,318
BOTH: Stay right there!
555
00:20:44,570 --> 00:20:47,519
'Cause, honey, I'll
come get my things
556
00:20:47,544 --> 00:20:49,912
- Come on, come on.
-
But I can't let go...
557
00:20:49,937 --> 00:20:52,233
I'm waiting for it, that
green light, I want it
558
00:20:52,258 --> 00:20:55,670
Oh, I wish I could get my things
559
00:20:55,695 --> 00:20:57,342
And just let go...
560
00:20:57,702 --> 00:20:59,249
Oh, come on, please go faster.
561
00:20:59,274 --> 00:21:00,843
I gotta tell my best
friend I'm in love with her.
562
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:02,983
Shower first. I've never
seen anyone sweat so much.
563
00:21:03,008 --> 00:21:04,764
You take a shower. You smell terrible.
564
00:21:04,789 --> 00:21:06,678
- You smell terrible!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
565
00:21:08,178 --> 00:21:09,569
(chuckles)
566
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:11,366
Hey, Miller.
567
00:21:11,391 --> 00:21:12,779
Hey.
568
00:21:24,538 --> 00:21:26,584
That green light, I want it
569
00:21:26,609 --> 00:21:29,545
570
00:21:30,547 --> 00:21:33,148
I'm waiting for it,
that green light...
571
00:21:33,173 --> 00:21:36,047
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
572
00:21:36,097 --> 00:21:40,647
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
41946
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