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00:00:00,037 --> 00:00:02,975
Previously on
Neon Joe, Werewolf He-yump...
2
00:00:02,990 --> 00:00:03,696
(Carol) What's the matter?
3
00:00:03,696 --> 00:00:05,750
This whole thing taking you back
to your time in Seattle?
4
00:00:05,931 --> 00:00:07,764
You shot that kid
holding a hoagie.
5
00:00:07,766 --> 00:00:10,341
Oh, sure, focus on the guy
6
00:00:10,341 --> 00:00:12,156
who happened to laser his pubes
7
00:00:12,156 --> 00:00:15,405
right when Neon Joe
was collecting pubes.
8
00:00:15,407 --> 00:00:16,690
(Joe) If Matt was attacked,
9
00:00:16,692 --> 00:00:19,326
there's a very good chance
he was infected.
10
00:00:19,328 --> 00:00:20,527
Just like I thought.
11
00:00:20,529 --> 00:00:21,945
He a wolf.
12
00:00:21,947 --> 00:00:25,081
(sobbing) My baby!
13
00:00:26,802 --> 00:00:29,019
(gunfire)
14
00:00:29,021 --> 00:00:30,437
Enemy approaching!
15
00:00:30,439 --> 00:00:32,322
Warn Jimenez!
16
00:00:32,324 --> 00:00:33,607
I'm out!
17
00:00:33,609 --> 00:00:35,275
Switching to .50 caliber!
18
00:00:35,277 --> 00:00:37,777
It's not working!
19
00:00:37,779 --> 00:00:39,696
Don't shoot that!
It's not a gun!
20
00:00:39,782 --> 00:00:40,814
What?!
21
00:00:40,816 --> 00:00:42,149
Don't shoot,
it's a sandwich!
22
00:00:42,151 --> 00:00:45,118
(gunshot)
23
00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,653
(sighs)
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00:00:46,888 --> 00:00:49,889
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00:00:59,729 --> 00:01:02,901
Sync & corrections by dwigt
addic7ed.com
26
00:01:03,007 --> 00:01:05,773
Episode 01x03
"Bark Bark Yum Yum"
27
00:01:08,393 --> 00:01:10,226
(Joe) Getting Susan
to end her son's life
28
00:01:10,228 --> 00:01:11,861
will be a challenge, to be sure,
29
00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:13,647
but I am nine for nine
when it comes to
30
00:01:13,649 --> 00:01:15,838
convincing mothers of children
in werewolf-induced coma
31
00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:16,816
to pull the plug,
32
00:01:16,818 --> 00:01:19,152
And I look forward
to making it an even 10.
33
00:01:19,154 --> 00:01:22,038
A.K.A. a Joe's dozen.
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00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,657
He-yump!
35
00:01:24,286 --> 00:01:26,493
Hot chowder,
coming through!
36
00:01:26,495 --> 00:01:27,711
Ooh, hello, Neon Joe!
37
00:01:27,713 --> 00:01:31,081
(indistinct conversations)
38
00:01:32,334 --> 00:01:33,917
What going on in he-yump?
39
00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:36,720
Susan runs a speed-dating night
called It's just chowder.
40
00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:39,472
People meet over a bowl
of chowder, nice and casual,
41
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:40,890
see where it takes them
from there.
42
00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:42,809
No pressure.
It's just chowder.
43
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,178
Yeah, you can tell I-I-I-I --
I like to sing.
44
00:01:45,180 --> 00:01:47,347
You know
(operatically)
Ahhhh!
45
00:01:47,349 --> 00:01:48,898
Can I have your chowder?
46
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,851
Hey!
I'm ready for some chowder.
47
00:01:51,853 --> 00:01:54,487
Nice try, Dave.
You're banned.
48
00:01:55,691 --> 00:01:58,858
Tell me
I can't have chowder.
49
00:01:58,860 --> 00:02:01,528
He threw up on someone
last week. Heh.
50
00:02:01,530 --> 00:02:03,863
But we have got to get you
in the next round.
51
00:02:03,865 --> 00:02:05,999
Oh, no, no.
No, thank you.
52
00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:09,502
I got a very strict
pre-date ritual I stick to.
53
00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:11,871
Wash my pits,
I squeeze one out.
54
00:02:11,873 --> 00:02:14,341
But I came to talk to Susan,
anyway.
55
00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:16,292
We can do that
another night.
56
00:02:16,294 --> 00:02:17,711
(blows whistle)
57
00:02:17,713 --> 00:02:20,180
And time!
Switch it up.
58
00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,798
Take over for a minute.
59
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,384
Oh, do-do, bah, bah, bah
60
00:02:24,386 --> 00:02:25,885
Do, do, do, do,
boo-boom
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00:02:25,887 --> 00:02:28,188
Chicka, chicka, chicka,
chicka, chicka
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00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:29,356
Beat it, Angela.
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00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:30,557
Cha, cha, cha, cha
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00:02:30,559 --> 00:02:31,641
Boop, a-doop, boop
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00:02:31,643 --> 00:02:34,194
Boo-boop, boop-a doo
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00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:37,030
Chowder.
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00:02:38,066 --> 00:02:41,785
So, Joe, what did you
want to talk about?
68
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:44,537
We could also head over
to my place
69
00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,656
and talk
between the sheets.
70
00:02:47,894 --> 00:02:50,744
Yeah, uh, I believe
that it is time to talk about
71
00:02:50,746 --> 00:02:54,342
releasing your poor boy
to the great beyond.
72
00:03:00,505 --> 00:03:02,059
Time's up.
73
00:03:03,425 --> 00:03:06,176
Switch!
74
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,597
Don't forget,
it's just chowder.
75
00:03:10,599 --> 00:03:11,931
Can I have your chowder?
76
00:03:11,933 --> 00:03:13,600
Oh, sure.
77
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:17,821
How you doing, Sonny?
Man, that chowder night fun.
78
00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:20,657
Get lucky? Gonna be
sexting someone tonight?
79
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:21,991
No, I didn't have a chance
to wash my pits
80
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,193
and squeeze one out.
81
00:03:23,195 --> 00:03:27,363
I did talk to Susan,
but, uh, that didn't go so good.
82
00:03:27,365 --> 00:03:28,364
Susan?
83
00:03:28,366 --> 00:03:29,499
Surprised you're here.
84
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:30,784
How you mean?
85
00:03:30,786 --> 00:03:31,918
Ever since Matt
went into his coma,
86
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,253
she's been here every night.
87
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,705
I guess some people grieve
by getting wasted
88
00:03:35,707 --> 00:03:37,674
and screwing dudes
in the bathroom.
89
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:40,460
Screwing dudes
in the bathroom, huh?
90
00:03:40,462 --> 00:03:43,630
Well, he-yump,
think about pursuing
91
00:03:43,632 --> 00:03:47,634
the possible sexual angle
with Susan.
92
00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:53,223
Hey, Neon Joe,
Look how sweaty I am!
93
00:03:53,225 --> 00:03:54,441
What he watching?
94
00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:56,226
Oh, Sheriff made
an exercise video.
95
00:03:56,228 --> 00:03:59,646
All proceeds go to victims
of police violence.
96
00:03:59,648 --> 00:04:01,698
....Two, three!
97
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:02,782
Switch hands!
98
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,400
-Ahhh. Ahhh.
-Police violence.
99
00:04:04,402 --> 00:04:05,568
He-yump.
100
00:04:05,570 --> 00:04:06,786
Hey, where's Sheriff,
anyway?
101
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,705
I thought all the gals
in Garrity
102
00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,907
want to slurp up
on that hunky chowder.
103
00:04:10,909 --> 00:04:13,326
No, that thing with the kid
in Seattle really messed him up.
104
00:04:13,328 --> 00:04:14,828
Destroyed his marriage.
105
00:04:14,830 --> 00:04:17,881
Your new partner is about as
twisted as a pretzel doing yoga.
106
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,467
A pretzel doing yoga?
107
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:21,668
(laughing)
Good one, Sonny.
108
00:04:21,670 --> 00:04:23,253
News flash.
109
00:04:23,255 --> 00:04:25,922
Sheriff a yoga pretzel.
110
00:04:27,759 --> 00:04:29,843
Well, I appreciate
that tip, Sonny.
111
00:04:29,845 --> 00:04:32,011
I'll see you around.
112
00:04:32,013 --> 00:04:33,930
Mmm!
Boy, I got to tell you,
113
00:04:33,932 --> 00:04:36,099
I usually prefer
my clams bearded,
114
00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:38,685
but, uh, this tender
bivalve flesh
115
00:04:38,687 --> 00:04:41,354
teabagging my taste buds
just fine.
116
00:04:41,356 --> 00:04:43,106
(laughs)
117
00:04:46,695 --> 00:04:49,078
(gulping)
118
00:04:51,449 --> 00:04:54,784
119
00:04:58,123 --> 00:05:00,006
Ever since Neon Joe
got to town,
120
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:02,375
it's all "Neon Joe's
gonna find out about us.
121
00:05:02,377 --> 00:05:04,961
"Neon Joe has a recorder
with information on it."
122
00:05:04,963 --> 00:05:07,013
The biggest threat
we have to anybody
123
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,882
finding out about us
is you!
124
00:05:08,884 --> 00:05:10,934
Done.
125
00:05:14,389 --> 00:05:16,055
Put that back together!
126
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,225
(scoffs)
127
00:05:19,227 --> 00:05:21,277
You are the only one of us
who ever really wanted
128
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,812
to be friends
with these humans.
129
00:05:22,814 --> 00:05:24,731
Maybe you can exploit that
with Neon Joe
130
00:05:24,733 --> 00:05:26,399
and find out
what's on that recorder.
131
00:05:26,401 --> 00:05:29,152
Or can you not handle a mission
of that magnitude?
132
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,403
No.
133
00:05:30,405 --> 00:05:32,238
Good.
134
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:33,456
Now, if you'll excuse me,
135
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:36,326
I'm off to play darts
with my current lover.
136
00:05:38,743 --> 00:05:40,947
And if you'll excuse me,
137
00:05:40,988 --> 00:05:43,132
I'm going to make a lasagna.
138
00:05:45,754 --> 00:05:48,254
This steel beast
is one tough ride.
139
00:05:48,256 --> 00:05:51,808
But the results you get
in your triceps and abs
140
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,426
will be your reward.
141
00:05:53,428 --> 00:05:55,428
That's how you buckercise!
142
00:05:55,430 --> 00:05:57,430
Yeeee-he-yump!
143
00:05:57,432 --> 00:05:58,765
A-whoa, horsey!
144
00:05:58,767 --> 00:06:00,733
A-whoa!
145
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:03,236
(laughs)
146
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:04,687
(beeps)
Neon Joe.
147
00:06:04,689 --> 00:06:07,490
Heard about
your little exercise videos.
148
00:06:08,091 --> 00:06:11,828
Interesting choice of charity,
victims of police violence.
149
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,196
Yeah, so?
150
00:06:13,198 --> 00:06:15,248
Now, why do I got
a sneaky feeling
151
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:18,001
that all the proceeds
are going to a certain mom
152
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:20,420
of a particular kid
that just happened to be
153
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:23,923
killed dead in a hoagie-related
whoopsie-doodle?
154
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:27,010
So what if it does?
It helps me feel better.
155
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,795
I've never met her,
I've never seen her,
156
00:06:28,797 --> 00:06:30,746
and that's exactly the way
I like it.
157
00:06:30,773 --> 00:06:34,350
Whoa, slow down, Sheriff.
Slow down.
158
00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:37,926
It's time to clear your head
and man up.
159
00:06:38,035 --> 00:06:39,755
We can't have you hitting
the pause button
160
00:06:39,788 --> 00:06:41,758
drawing your weapon
when that werewolf show up.
161
00:06:41,799 --> 00:06:42,976
(wolf howls)
Right?
162
00:06:42,978 --> 00:06:45,151
Or -- Or if Matt come out
of that coma,
163
00:06:45,183 --> 00:06:47,350
Georgia have
that little wolf baby.
164
00:06:48,054 --> 00:06:49,949
No, the -- the --
the key to drawing
165
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,151
your metallic gun
without hesitation
166
00:06:52,151 --> 00:06:53,737
is to start by drawing
167
00:06:53,737 --> 00:06:56,552
your wiener gun
with lubrication.
168
00:06:57,814 --> 00:06:59,876
Now come on.
Let me set you up on a date.
169
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:00,994
(groans)
170
00:07:00,996 --> 00:07:03,579
Now, ho-hold up, now.
Hold up, now.
171
00:07:03,581 --> 00:07:06,382
It's just chowder.
172
00:07:07,515 --> 00:07:11,506
Dead...hoagie...he-yump.
173
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,724
Oh, yeah.
174
00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:18,728
(muffled moaning)
175
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:21,097
Quit beating your meat,
Dave!
176
00:07:21,099 --> 00:07:23,850
(moaning continues)
177
00:07:25,353 --> 00:07:26,419
Relax.
178
00:07:27,552 --> 00:07:29,522
You wash your pits
and squeeze one out?
179
00:07:29,524 --> 00:07:30,823
What?
180
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,859
Man,
don't no one in this town
181
00:07:32,861 --> 00:07:34,444
got no pre-date routine?
182
00:07:34,446 --> 00:07:35,828
Who's my date?
183
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:39,165
Someone you never met,
but got a lot in common.
184
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,868
Single mom
from the Northwest.
185
00:07:42,259 --> 00:07:44,871
Seattle, to be specific.
186
00:07:44,873 --> 00:07:46,673
You son of a bitch.
187
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:48,791
Oh, too late.
188
00:07:50,462 --> 00:07:51,878
Oh, my God.
189
00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:56,124
Right on time.
Oh, here you go. Come on in.
190
00:07:56,162 --> 00:07:58,051
(breathing heavily)
Oh, no -- no tears, now. No tears.
191
00:07:58,053 --> 00:08:00,803
Here you go. Got a --
got a table all set for you.
192
00:08:00,805 --> 00:08:02,855
Have a seat.
193
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:05,308
Now, Karen, Sheriff.
Sheriff, Karen.
194
00:08:05,450 --> 00:08:09,441
And, uh, don't forget,
it just chowder.
195
00:08:14,235 --> 00:08:16,402
I just wanted to say
that --
196
00:08:17,822 --> 00:08:19,789
You've been sending the money,
haven't you?
197
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:26,079
-Listen --
-Here you go. You go--
198
00:08:26,081 --> 00:08:28,664
You got to have the chowder
for it to be just chowder,
199
00:08:28,666 --> 00:08:31,250
Am I right?
200
00:08:32,552 --> 00:08:34,150
I didn't have anything
to do with this.
201
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,922
Cracker?
202
00:08:37,592 --> 00:08:38,591
I would've never --
203
00:08:38,593 --> 00:08:39,926
Pepper?
204
00:08:41,429 --> 00:08:43,346
Pepper?
205
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:47,150
I would've never
have asked you --
206
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:49,185
Spoon?
207
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,100
Bon app?-he-yump.
208
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,112
(monitor beeping)
209
00:08:59,114 --> 00:09:02,281
(monitor beeping rapidly)
210
00:09:05,787 --> 00:09:07,120
(monitor beeping)
211
00:09:07,122 --> 00:09:09,288
While Sheriff getting over
his mental hump,
212
00:09:09,290 --> 00:09:11,457
I'm gonna be getting on
my pelvic bump.
213
00:09:11,459 --> 00:09:12,458
(chuckles)
214
00:09:12,460 --> 00:09:13,459
Hey, Neon Joe!
215
00:09:13,461 --> 00:09:14,794
Oh, hey there, Sonny.
216
00:09:14,796 --> 00:09:17,013
Say, you up
for a little 'bee?
217
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,632
Oh, well, I would love to,
but I got important
218
00:09:19,634 --> 00:09:21,684
werewolf business to tend to.
(wolf howls)
219
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,436
How about a rain check?
220
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:24,303
Sure.
221
00:09:24,305 --> 00:09:26,355
All right.
See you around.
222
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:28,191
Can't wait to see the look
on Susan face
223
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:31,310
when I start to give her
the hee-haw he-yump.
224
00:09:31,312 --> 00:09:33,980
The buttering-up
has commenced.
225
00:09:36,234 --> 00:09:39,068
(slurps)
Mmm-mmm!
226
00:09:39,459 --> 00:09:42,822
This bramble-grape tea
is simply divine, Susan.
227
00:09:45,493 --> 00:09:47,577
Um...
228
00:09:47,873 --> 00:09:51,695
I would like to apologize
for being so, uh, insensitive
229
00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:54,634
to your grieving emotional state
the other night.
230
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,385
Thank you.
231
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:59,088
Beautiful artwork,
by the way.
232
00:09:59,090 --> 00:10:01,507
Thank you.
I do them myself.
233
00:10:01,509 --> 00:10:05,344
Oh, well, uh,
perhaps I'll be lucky enough
234
00:10:05,346 --> 00:10:08,681
if one day
maybe you'll, uh, do me.
235
00:10:08,683 --> 00:10:10,650
(sighing) He-yump.
236
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,935
Perhaps.
237
00:10:12,937 --> 00:10:14,937
Might I offer you
a foot rub?
238
00:10:14,939 --> 00:10:16,772
Sure.
239
00:10:17,079 --> 00:10:19,492
Yeah, why don't you
pop that right on over he-yump?
240
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:20,910
Mm.
241
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:23,079
Ooh.
242
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:25,498
Now, I know it difficult
to talk about your son,
243
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,200
but I would
like to remind you
244
00:10:27,202 --> 00:10:28,877
that, uh,
he's got a very slim chance
245
00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:30,203
coming out that coma.
246
00:10:30,205 --> 00:10:33,706
Any not-so-slim chance
you like to suck toes?
247
00:10:34,156 --> 00:10:37,460
Yeah, now you talking
Joe's language, he-yump.
248
00:10:40,548 --> 00:10:41,597
Uh-he-yump.
249
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:42,715
(moans)
250
00:10:42,717 --> 00:10:44,884
(muffled) Even if he do
come out of it,
251
00:10:44,886 --> 00:10:46,552
He's still a werewolf.
(wolf howls)
252
00:10:46,554 --> 00:10:49,222
Let's skip the werewolf stuff
and focus on the toe sucking.
253
00:10:49,924 --> 00:10:52,975
Your boy gonna die.
254
00:10:52,977 --> 00:10:56,062
Could be a silver bullet
to the brain.
255
00:10:56,064 --> 00:10:57,045
(wolf howls)
256
00:10:57,152 --> 00:10:59,870
Or could be his mother
257
00:11:00,321 --> 00:11:01,817
giving him a gentle push
258
00:11:01,819 --> 00:11:04,070
into the blissful beyond
259
00:11:04,211 --> 00:11:08,300
as she lovingly, tenderly
260
00:11:08,670 --> 00:11:10,793
pull the plug.
261
00:11:11,048 --> 00:11:13,796
You can see yourself out.
262
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:16,132
Huh?
263
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:19,304
And you suck toes,
you don't lick them.
264
00:11:22,674 --> 00:11:26,475
My fully-engorged
schwang-doodle says otherwise.
265
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:27,426
Yeah.
266
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,904
(clapping)
267
00:11:37,315 --> 00:11:40,900
I'm glad to hear you're also
having dreams about your son.
268
00:11:40,902 --> 00:11:43,819
I mean, I'm not happy
you're having dreams,
269
00:11:43,821 --> 00:11:45,321
I'm -- I'm just saying...
270
00:11:45,323 --> 00:11:48,407
Look, we're forever connected
by the worst day in our lives.
271
00:11:48,409 --> 00:11:50,876
Maybe now we put all that
behind us.
272
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,894
It's nice to have someone to
talk to about this whole thing.
273
00:11:53,900 --> 00:11:55,473
I'm glad
you decided to stay.
274
00:11:55,532 --> 00:11:57,065
(knocking)
275
00:11:57,067 --> 00:11:59,033
Bark, bark, yum, yum!
276
00:11:59,035 --> 00:12:00,785
Excuse me?
277
00:12:00,932 --> 00:12:02,431
Bark, bark, yum, yum!
278
00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:05,641
Yeah, okay, Dave.
See you later.
279
00:12:08,012 --> 00:12:09,728
What was that all about?
280
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:12,398
(scoffs) Let's just say
you've met the town drunk.
281
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,849
(both chuckle lightly)
282
00:12:13,851 --> 00:12:16,035
So, um, how did you raise
all that money
283
00:12:16,064 --> 00:12:17,903
for the charity, anyway?
284
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:20,523
My bull.
285
00:12:20,525 --> 00:12:22,691
So, I settled
on "Buckercise."
286
00:12:22,693 --> 00:12:24,860
It's actually
a pretty good workout.
287
00:12:24,862 --> 00:12:28,998
But...guess I won't have to make
these videos anymore.
288
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,417
Forbidden fruit.
289
00:12:31,419 --> 00:12:33,452
Oh!
290
00:12:33,454 --> 00:12:35,254
I can't believe
I said that out loud.
291
00:12:35,256 --> 00:12:36,672
Oh, that's okay.
292
00:12:36,674 --> 00:12:39,675
I was actually thinking
the same thing.
293
00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:43,762
Nicely played, Sheriff.
294
00:12:44,005 --> 00:12:45,714
I'd say that forbidden fruit
295
00:12:45,727 --> 00:12:48,314
about to get
a whole lot more bidden.
296
00:12:48,413 --> 00:12:51,864
297
00:13:48,049 --> 00:13:51,567
298
00:14:00,766 --> 00:14:03,517
My number.
Let's keep in touch.
299
00:14:03,519 --> 00:14:04,685
Will do.
300
00:14:04,687 --> 00:14:07,554
Hey!
Bark, bark, yum, yum!
301
00:14:07,556 --> 00:14:09,439
(laughing) Oh, man!
302
00:14:10,108 --> 00:14:12,525
How many town drunks
you guys have? (laughs)
303
00:14:12,527 --> 00:14:15,729
Trust me,
you are not a dog.
304
00:14:17,115 --> 00:14:19,783
I-I mean, like,
you're, like, a total fox.
305
00:14:19,785 --> 00:14:21,701
(laughs)
306
00:14:26,195 --> 00:14:28,245
Call you when I land.
307
00:14:28,275 --> 00:14:29,390
All right.
308
00:14:29,394 --> 00:14:31,278
Got myself a girlfriend
309
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,146
-
Bark, bark, yum, yum
- (TV) The Action news
310
00:14:33,148 --> 00:14:35,282
-
Got myself a girlfriend
- will be right back
311
00:14:35,284 --> 00:14:37,200
-
Bark, bark, yum, yum
- after the break.
312
00:14:37,202 --> 00:14:40,538
Bark, bark, yum, yum,
Grayson's dog food
313
00:14:40,756 --> 00:14:43,840
(Karen) When I think about
the best nutrition for my dog,
314
00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:45,759
I think about
four simple words --
315
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:48,261
Bark, bark, yum, yum.
316
00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:49,763
(echoing)
Bark, bark, yum, yum.
317
00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:51,431
(distorted)
Bark, bark, yum, yum.
318
00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,600
Yum, yum. Yum, yum.
319
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:55,602
(muscles creak)
320
00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:58,321
(monitor beeping)
321
00:14:59,991 --> 00:15:03,076
(monitor beeping rapidly)
322
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:08,106
He-yump! He-yump!
He-yump! He-yump!
323
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,275
He-yump! He-yump!
He-yump! He-yump!
324
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:11,727
All right, good.
Good.
325
00:15:11,729 --> 00:15:12,694
Let's take five.
326
00:15:12,696 --> 00:15:14,029
You got a good jab.
327
00:15:14,031 --> 00:15:16,231
We got to work on
that uppercut, he-yump,
328
00:15:16,233 --> 00:15:17,949
When I get back
from the little boys' room.
329
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:20,068
-Okay, Neon Joe.
-Real good.
330
00:15:20,070 --> 00:15:23,905
You like Rocky Balboa, he-yump,
and I'm Apollo he-yump.
331
00:15:29,413 --> 00:15:31,913
(Joe) Yeah, that mayor cute,
even if she a lez.
332
00:15:31,915 --> 00:15:33,999
Guess I'm --(fast-forwarding)
333
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:36,468
I'm pretty sure I can
un-lezify her no prob.
334
00:15:36,470 --> 00:15:38,920
All I got to do --
(fast-forwarding)
335
00:15:38,922 --> 00:15:41,590
Now I know
what brought me to Garrity.
336
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,479
Not just werewolf.
337
00:15:43,513 --> 00:15:46,464
Something else
going on in this town.
338
00:15:46,532 --> 00:15:50,083
Big secret's
about to be revealed.
339
00:15:50,152 --> 00:15:52,936
I do believe
I'm emotionally ready
340
00:15:52,938 --> 00:15:56,773
to take on the responsibility
of a new best friend.
341
00:15:56,808 --> 00:16:00,393
Sonny Coco has emerged
as top candidate.
342
00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:04,112
Back to my burrito.
343
00:16:04,114 --> 00:16:05,497
Your footwork coming along
real good.
344
00:16:05,499 --> 00:16:07,416
But, now, don't forget,
when you're in that ring,
345
00:16:07,418 --> 00:16:09,451
stick and he-yump,
stick and he-yump.
346
00:16:09,453 --> 00:16:10,619
-Right?
-All right. okay.
347
00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:11,787
See you later, Neon Joe.
348
00:16:11,789 --> 00:16:12,921
All right, Sonny.
Good job.
349
00:16:12,923 --> 00:16:14,706
Well, hello there,
Sheriff.
350
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:17,008
I heard Karen left town
this afternoon.
351
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:21,546
Take it you two had a
forbiddenly fruitful good time.
352
00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:23,799
(laughs)
353
00:16:23,801 --> 00:16:26,559
Bark, bark, yum, yum.
354
00:16:33,527 --> 00:16:36,645
That's far enough.
Turn around.
355
00:16:37,815 --> 00:16:39,981
You gonna
blow my brains out?
356
00:16:39,983 --> 00:16:41,116
Nope.
357
00:16:41,118 --> 00:16:42,651
Just this.
358
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,619
He-yump!
359
00:16:44,621 --> 00:16:45,871
All right,
I deserved that.
360
00:16:45,873 --> 00:16:48,323
But you calm down now,
you hear?
361
00:16:48,325 --> 00:16:50,659
I called the real mom,
she told me to go to hell.
362
00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,244
So I had to hire
an actress.
363
00:16:52,246 --> 00:16:54,379
From a national
dog-food commercial?!
364
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:55,881
He-yump!
365
00:16:55,883 --> 00:16:57,097
(grunts)
366
00:16:57,137 --> 00:16:58,336
It worked, though.
367
00:16:58,338 --> 00:17:00,171
I saw
what you did to her "t."
368
00:17:00,173 --> 00:17:01,556
I saw
what you did to her "v."
369
00:17:01,558 --> 00:17:03,224
I was -- I was watching
the whole thing
370
00:17:03,226 --> 00:17:04,425
on my b's, man.
371
00:17:04,427 --> 00:17:06,079
I saw it all.
372
00:17:06,148 --> 00:17:08,716
Yeah. You had some crazy
actress sex.
373
00:17:08,738 --> 00:17:10,271
You ought to be
thanking me.
374
00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:12,431
(cellphone rings)
375
00:17:13,651 --> 00:17:16,018
Dalton.
376
00:17:16,020 --> 00:17:18,437
Okay.
I'm on my way.
377
00:17:18,439 --> 00:17:20,239
There's an emergency
at Dave Blonger's.
378
00:17:20,241 --> 00:17:22,024
This isn't over,
though.
379
00:17:22,026 --> 00:17:23,409
He-yump! Oh!
380
00:17:26,847 --> 00:17:28,347
Dave Blonger
was the werewolf.
381
00:17:28,349 --> 00:17:30,932
(wolf howls)
(Joe) Yeah, bark, bark, yum, yum.
382
00:17:30,934 --> 00:17:33,769
More like ouch, ouch,
spoom, spoom!
383
00:17:33,771 --> 00:17:34,770
(laughs)
384
00:17:34,772 --> 00:17:35,937
Oh, he-yump.
385
00:17:35,939 --> 00:17:38,607
Look at this right here.
386
00:17:38,609 --> 00:17:39,588
Oh, yeah.
387
00:17:39,607 --> 00:17:41,777
I hope he didn't die
before pleasuring himself
388
00:17:41,779 --> 00:17:43,328
to this hot piece of tush.
389
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:44,363
(chuckles)
390
00:17:44,365 --> 00:17:45,664
He-yump.
391
00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:47,999
Looks like Dave Blonger died
in the act
392
00:17:48,001 --> 00:17:51,203
of autoerotically
asphyxiating himself.
393
00:17:51,205 --> 00:17:52,788
Just as I suspected.
394
00:17:52,790 --> 00:17:54,373
Human turn into werewolf.
395
00:17:54,375 --> 00:17:57,342
(wolf howls)
If it die while in human form.
396
00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:59,461
Otherwise known
as a flipsy-flopsy
397
00:17:59,463 --> 00:18:02,264
from the usual way it happen.
398
00:18:05,052 --> 00:18:07,269
Huh.
399
00:18:07,271 --> 00:18:08,720
What have we here?
400
00:18:08,722 --> 00:18:11,807
Sheriff,
take a look at this.
401
00:18:11,809 --> 00:18:13,809
Contact lenses.
402
00:18:13,811 --> 00:18:16,194
Moon-proof contact lens.
403
00:18:16,779 --> 00:18:19,398
That's how he was able
to control it the whole time.
404
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:22,656
He knew Joe was on the case,
so he threw in the towel.
405
00:18:22,813 --> 00:18:25,981
Or, rather,
choked himself with the towel,
406
00:18:26,014 --> 00:18:27,513
got in one final 'gasm.
407
00:18:27,791 --> 00:18:30,792
Wow.
This whole time.
408
00:18:30,794 --> 00:18:32,994
Well, I guess it's over.
409
00:18:32,996 --> 00:18:34,663
Well, except for Matt.
410
00:18:34,665 --> 00:18:36,500
Yeah.
411
00:18:36,536 --> 00:18:38,119
And except for this.
412
00:18:38,152 --> 00:18:39,351
He-yump!
413
00:18:39,353 --> 00:18:41,403
In any case,
I'm very happy to announce
414
00:18:41,405 --> 00:18:43,939
that a month-long
reign of supernatural terror
415
00:18:43,941 --> 00:18:44,940
is over in Garrity.
416
00:18:44,942 --> 00:18:46,754
The werewolf is dead.
417
00:18:46,780 --> 00:18:49,945
Awesome! Great news!
418
00:18:49,947 --> 00:18:51,747
Mayor, what about
the boy in the coma?
419
00:18:51,749 --> 00:18:53,949
Technically there's still
a werewolf here in Garrity.
420
00:18:53,951 --> 00:18:55,417
Why keep it alive?
Why wait?
421
00:18:55,419 --> 00:18:56,702
(Man) Yeah, why?
422
00:18:56,704 --> 00:18:58,420
Sheriff Dalton
can answer those details.
423
00:18:58,422 --> 00:18:59,788
If you'll excuse me,
424
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:02,508
I'm off to have scones
with my current lover.
425
00:19:02,510 --> 00:19:04,176
Thank you, Mayor.
426
00:19:04,612 --> 00:19:07,880
Um, Matt's mother, Susan Duane,
has yet to give consent --
427
00:19:07,882 --> 00:19:10,549
Uh, actually, uh,
th-the breakthrough in the case
428
00:19:10,551 --> 00:19:12,634
came due to an extensive
sensual angle
429
00:19:12,636 --> 00:19:15,200
that I've been pursuing
with Ms. Duane.
430
00:19:15,258 --> 00:19:18,023
She'll be pulling the plug
on her son, and soon.
431
00:19:18,552 --> 00:19:20,218
I stake my reputation on it.
432
00:19:20,220 --> 00:19:22,056
That's all for today.
Y'all can he-yump.
433
00:19:23,504 --> 00:19:24,954
Oh, hey, Sonny.
434
00:19:24,959 --> 00:19:27,092
Congratulations cracking
the case, Neon Joe.
435
00:19:27,094 --> 00:19:29,211
Oh, thank you, buddy.
I appreciate that.
436
00:19:30,548 --> 00:19:33,048
That's not a gun.
437
00:19:33,050 --> 00:19:35,768
I know.
438
00:19:37,388 --> 00:19:39,521
(Man) Enjoy your meal.
439
00:19:39,523 --> 00:19:41,273
(thunder crashes)
440
00:19:41,275 --> 00:19:42,641
Aah!
441
00:19:42,643 --> 00:19:44,943
(breathing heavily)
442
00:19:44,945 --> 00:19:47,446
I got clean pits
and an empty colon.
443
00:19:47,722 --> 00:19:51,367
Free and clear to focus on
getting Susan to pull the plug.
444
00:19:51,781 --> 00:19:54,903
Maybe get my jock rocked
in the process.
445
00:19:57,074 --> 00:20:00,576
Remember,
the son you knew is gone.
446
00:20:00,578 --> 00:20:02,328
You need to think
of all the sons
447
00:20:02,330 --> 00:20:03,545
and future sons of Garrity
448
00:20:03,547 --> 00:20:05,289
that you'll be saving
by doing this.
449
00:20:05,548 --> 00:20:07,583
I think
it's time we both let go.
450
00:20:07,585 --> 00:20:09,893
Well, thanks for that
extra round of convincing.
451
00:20:09,893 --> 00:20:10,931
(chuckles)
452
00:20:10,931 --> 00:20:12,714
Can't wait to see my portrait
on your wall.
453
00:20:12,781 --> 00:20:15,375
These
are the longest noodles
454
00:20:15,399 --> 00:20:17,755
I have ever had to use.
455
00:20:17,895 --> 00:20:19,895
Oh, hey, what's up?
456
00:20:19,897 --> 00:20:21,897
I was just in there
doing your job.
457
00:20:25,770 --> 00:20:28,771
Your measures are extreme,
but you were right.
458
00:20:28,773 --> 00:20:29,772
Thank you.
459
00:20:29,774 --> 00:20:32,608
Yeah.
Thanks, Neon Joe.
460
00:20:32,610 --> 00:20:35,444
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, good, good.
461
00:20:35,446 --> 00:20:36,745
Just like how I planned.
462
00:20:36,747 --> 00:20:38,781
Drive you two
into each other's arms.
463
00:20:38,783 --> 00:20:40,999
Yeah, I bet
you were both thinking about me
464
00:20:41,001 --> 00:20:44,336
right when you spurted spasms,
he-yump.
465
00:20:44,338 --> 00:20:45,504
Right?
466
00:20:45,506 --> 00:20:47,206
As far as I can tell,
all he's concerned about
467
00:20:47,208 --> 00:20:48,590
is trying
to turn you straight.
468
00:20:48,592 --> 00:20:50,042
Doesn't matter, though,
right?
469
00:20:50,044 --> 00:20:51,677
I mean,
the werewolf's dead,
470
00:20:51,679 --> 00:20:53,545
Susan's gonna pull the plug
on Matt.
471
00:20:53,547 --> 00:20:54,963
Neon Joe
will be out of town.
472
00:20:54,965 --> 00:20:56,632
We'll be in the clear.
473
00:20:56,634 --> 00:20:58,767
I guess
you're off the hook.
474
00:20:58,769 --> 00:21:00,135
Now, if you'll excuse me,
475
00:21:00,137 --> 00:21:02,805
I'm going to have frittatas
with my current lover.
476
00:21:03,808 --> 00:21:07,776
477
00:21:10,398 --> 00:21:13,148
Goodbye, best friend
that never was.
478
00:21:13,150 --> 00:21:15,971
Hey, man.
Finish my puzzle.
479
00:21:18,192 --> 00:21:20,025
(groans)
480
00:21:21,325 --> 00:21:23,492
Uh, now it's time to, uh,
pull the plug
481
00:21:23,494 --> 00:21:26,829
on this particularly gruesome
chapter in Garrity's history.
482
00:21:26,831 --> 00:21:28,330
You ready to do this?
483
00:21:28,332 --> 00:21:29,331
Yes.
484
00:21:29,333 --> 00:21:31,834
Uh, you're doing
the right thing, Susan.
485
00:21:31,836 --> 00:21:33,502
-(sighs)
-What's that?
486
00:21:33,504 --> 00:21:35,170
Some of
my homemade meatballs.
487
00:21:35,172 --> 00:21:38,807
They were Matt's favorite.
I just want him to go out happy.
488
00:21:43,180 --> 00:21:45,097
Oh, my God.
489
00:21:50,335 --> 00:21:53,238
I call dibs
on the meatballs.
490
00:21:55,526 --> 00:21:57,493
Yeeee-he-yump!
491
00:21:57,495 --> 00:21:58,494
Mmm!
492
00:21:58,496 --> 00:21:59,862
(laughs)
493
00:21:59,864 --> 00:22:01,363
Ride 'em, Joe!
494
00:22:01,365 --> 00:22:02,698
Whoo-hoo!
495
00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:04,950
He-yump! He-yump!
496
00:22:04,952 --> 00:22:06,702
Oh, he-yump!
497
00:22:06,704 --> 00:22:07,870
Oh!
498
00:22:07,872 --> 00:22:09,705
Whoo! Yeah, baby!
499
00:22:09,707 --> 00:22:11,874
Yeah! Whoo!
500
00:22:11,876 --> 00:22:13,709
Yeee-he-yump!
501
00:22:13,711 --> 00:22:15,581
That meatball's good.
502
00:22:15,784 --> 00:22:18,512
Sync & correctye-hump by dwigt
addic7ed.com
503
00:22:18,562 --> 00:22:23,112
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