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1
00:00:00,064 --> 00:00:03,185
(Joe) Previously on Neon Joe,
Werewolf He-yump...
2
00:00:03,187 --> 00:00:05,434
I know we're all very upset
about what happened last night.
3
00:00:05,449 --> 00:00:07,022
Watch out! Oh, God!
(all screaming)
4
00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:09,942
My customers freaked out
when they heard that!
5
00:00:09,944 --> 00:00:11,945
I am devoting my life
6
00:00:11,983 --> 00:00:14,347
to killing that werewolf.
7
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:17,082
My name is Neon Joe,
werewolf hunter.
8
00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:19,284
I just wanted to help Neon Joe
find the werewolf
9
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:20,619
so he'd leave town!
10
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:22,538
He's gonna find out
the truth about us!
11
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:25,791
12
00:00:37,126 --> 00:00:39,926
Sync & corrections by dwigt
addic7ed.com
13
00:00:40,049 --> 00:00:42,807
Episode 01x02
"Neon Nights"
14
00:00:44,328 --> 00:00:47,212
All right.
Thank you, Brooklyn Bobby.
15
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,247
Quick slice break
16
00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:50,249
and then back to
the 9:00-to-he-yump.
17
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:51,917
Hey, fuh-slice-aboutit.
18
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:54,086
Brooklyn Bobby,
you probably want to hear
19
00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:56,338
about my back story,
don't you?
20
00:00:56,340 --> 00:00:58,257
Yeah, I'd like to hear
a little bit about it about it.
21
00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:01,093
- (Man) Me, too!
- Yeah, maybe some day.
22
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:03,221
You gonna have to
earn that trust.
23
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,682
Why'd he ask me
about it about it?
24
00:01:06,684 --> 00:01:08,517
(scoffs)
25
00:01:08,519 --> 00:01:10,519
26
00:01:10,521 --> 00:01:11,820
He-yump?
27
00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,572
What's going on he-yump?
28
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,665
Cleave attempted suicide.
29
00:01:15,693 --> 00:01:18,425
Put his mouth on the bumper of
a van and tried to swallow it.
30
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:21,997
31
00:01:27,565 --> 00:01:29,565
Hey, Cleave.
32
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:32,341
Hi, Neon Joe,
werewolf hunter.
33
00:01:32,343 --> 00:01:33,637
Oh, I tell you what.
34
00:01:33,644 --> 00:01:38,480
I want you to think of me
as Neon Bro, sadness punter.
35
00:01:38,482 --> 00:01:40,432
Right now,
you need a colonoscopy
36
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,685
of the butt area
of your mind.
37
00:01:42,687 --> 00:01:45,938
What kind of sadness
can I punt out of there?
38
00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:48,240
I really wanted
to kill that werewolf.
39
00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:51,276
It's my chance to finally
be something in this town
40
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:56,331
and have people look up to me
and -- and be a hero...
41
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,417
like you.
42
00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:00,252
Yeah.
43
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:02,204
Yeah, I am a hero.
44
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:05,624
Better than every single person
in this here town.
45
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,177
Take a look, Cleave,
right over he-yump.
46
00:02:08,179 --> 00:02:11,130
That all the simple folk
in Garrity, including you.
47
00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:12,598
You in this group.
48
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,133
And you got a couple
cool guys in town.
49
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:16,268
They a little bit better
than all you bumpkins.
50
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:17,936
They right he-yump.
51
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:20,305
And you got Neon Joe
come to town.
52
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:24,143
Super cool, dangerous, sexy.
53
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:26,945
He all the way up he-yump.
And look at that.
54
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:29,648
Even the coolest guy in Garrity
way below Joe,
55
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,568
and you below
the cool guys.
56
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:34,153
Feel better?
57
00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:35,954
No.
58
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:39,041
(Joe) I want to thank you all
for agreeing to cheer up Cleave.
59
00:02:39,043 --> 00:02:42,044
We gonna stage ourselves
A fake werewolf hunt
60
00:02:42,046 --> 00:02:45,998
that's gonna culminate with
Cleave "killing the werewolf"
61
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,051
and becoming "hero of the town."
62
00:02:49,053 --> 00:02:51,220
Now, Barrett,
You gonna be the werewolf.
63
00:02:51,222 --> 00:02:54,506
Sonny and Jane, you gonna be
the victims that Cleave save.
64
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:58,010
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is crazy.
65
00:02:58,012 --> 00:03:00,646
We're not auditioning
for parts?
66
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:03,565
'cause I do
a pretty good werewolf.
67
00:03:03,567 --> 00:03:05,400
(snarls, roars)
68
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:07,686
Yeah, that's cute.
I'm sure he gonna be fine.
69
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:08,771
(growls)
70
00:03:08,773 --> 00:03:10,522
Aah!
71
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,241
Now, Barrett,
I like what you're doing,
72
00:03:12,243 --> 00:03:14,777
But -- But really
get your body into it.
73
00:03:14,779 --> 00:03:16,862
And give yourself
an inner monologue,
74
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:20,532
something like, "Erect beams
of milky, white light
75
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,035
burst from
the fully engorged moon.
76
00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:27,039
Full of bloodlust as he gazed up
at the throbbing orb
77
00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:30,042
and said,
'Fill me with your sin.
78
00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:34,012
'Take me now!'"
(howls)
79
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,047
Now...
80
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,633
Aah!
81
00:03:37,635 --> 00:03:39,768
Yeah, I like that.
That real nice.
82
00:03:39,770 --> 00:03:43,188
Sheriff, 10:45 tomorrow morning,
You get Cleave,
83
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,307
You got to
Fuh-Slice-Aboutit's pizza.
84
00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:48,811
You gonna tell 'em Neon Joe
found a werewolf hiding spot,
85
00:03:48,813 --> 00:03:52,147
and he want you to help
personally with killing it.
86
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:55,367
Me, Sonny, Jane, and Barrett,
we gonna be in the woods.
87
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:58,654
I'm gonna text you he-yump,
and you bring Cleave
88
00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:01,156
a-he-yump, he-yump, he-yump,
he-yump, he-yump...he-yump.
89
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:02,875
Uh, how do you
spell "he-yump"?
90
00:04:02,877 --> 00:04:05,077
It just like it sound.
He-yump.
91
00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:07,713
All right, now,
we gonna give Cleave my guns.
92
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:09,715
Now, the guns,
they gonna have blanks.
93
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:11,500
Ain't nobody gonna get hurt.
94
00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:13,969
Sonny and Jane,
covered in blood,
95
00:04:13,971 --> 00:04:15,637
Gonna come running
out of the woods,
96
00:04:15,639 --> 00:04:17,506
going, "Oh, help! Oh, help!
97
00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:19,141
"Oh, he-yump! He-yump! He-yump"
98
00:04:19,143 --> 00:04:22,227
Then Barrett come running
down the path, going...
99
00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:25,097
Nnnaah!
100
00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,983
Cleave be all like,
"[bleep] you, werewolf!"
101
00:04:27,985 --> 00:04:28,934
Bam, bam!
102
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,603
And the werewolf gonna go, "Oh!"
103
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,989
Cleave gonna be,
"Yeah, I did it!"
104
00:04:33,991 --> 00:04:37,109
We gonna call this
Operation Can't go wrong.
105
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,777
One, two, three!
106
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:42,197
-Can't go wrong.
-Operation Can't go wrong!
107
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,832
A'ight,
we'll get it organized.
108
00:04:43,834 --> 00:04:45,584
See you in the morning.
109
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:47,202
-Neon Joe?
-Yes, Jane?
110
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:51,089
When we see you tomorrow
for operation Can't go wrong...
111
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:51,957
Mm-hmm?
112
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,293
Should we refer to you
as Neon Joe,
113
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:59,047
or should I call you
Halston Thromboux?
114
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:01,516
115
00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:04,353
(Joe) Boy, good, old tip shades.
116
00:05:04,355 --> 00:05:07,639
I ain't seen one of these
in a long time.
117
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,475
How'd you figure out
I was Halston Thromboux?
118
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:12,778
Your werewolf monologue.
119
00:05:15,950 --> 00:05:18,984
"He tipped his shades,
staring down at her
120
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:22,154
-"Fully engorged."
-"fully engorged moon-like teats."
121
00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,740
-"She gazed at his throbbing orb"
-"Throbbing orb."
122
00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:27,910
"screaming,
'Fill me with your sin.
123
00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:31,129
-"'Take me now!'"
-Take me now! (howls)
124
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:32,164
Oh!
125
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:33,882
"The adventures
of Tip Shades"
126
00:05:33,884 --> 00:05:36,551
is the finest series of erotica
I have ever read.
127
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:37,920
-Oh.
- Have them all --
128
00:05:37,922 --> 00:05:41,256
Tip for Tat,
He Tips to Conquer.
129
00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:42,975
Well, looky he-yump.
130
00:05:42,977 --> 00:05:44,476
Tippy Longshading,
131
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:47,179
Tip of Shades Mountain,
and, oh, one of my favorites,
132
00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:49,348
The Shadesman
Always Tip Twice.
133
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,233
(both chuckle)
For the longest time,
134
00:05:51,235 --> 00:05:55,070
I've been wondering why
you never finished the series.
135
00:05:55,072 --> 00:05:57,322
There were always
supposed to be 69 books,
136
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,491
but there was only 68.
137
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:01,193
What happened?
138
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:03,362
139
00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:06,331
Guess I got a little too busy
hunting werewolf.
140
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:07,666
(wolf howls)
141
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,785
Didn't have much time
for hobbies.
142
00:06:09,787 --> 00:06:11,253
I don't see
how something as important
143
00:06:11,255 --> 00:06:12,871
as "The Adventures
of Tip Shades"
144
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,623
could be considered
just a hobby!
145
00:06:14,919 --> 00:06:18,910
Anyway, Halston Thromboux
right here in my B&B!
146
00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:23,799
You know, I run
an erotica book club.
147
00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:26,218
We're meeting here tonight.
148
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:29,688
Oh, it'd be a real thrill
for everyone if you came by.
149
00:06:30,012 --> 00:06:32,966
I'll be a little busy getting
ready for Cleave's wolf hunt.
150
00:06:32,966 --> 00:06:33,865
Oh.
151
00:06:33,865 --> 00:06:36,035
But, uh, I suppose
Halston Thromboux
152
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:39,031
can find some time
for some of his thromboniacs.
153
00:06:39,033 --> 00:06:41,400
Oh!
(giggles)
154
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:43,735
(both screeching)
155
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,124
So, anyway, like I was saying,
156
00:06:49,126 --> 00:06:52,077
there is no way I wouldn't have
been cast as the werewolf
157
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,545
if we had auditioned.
158
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:54,880
Am I -- Am I right?!
159
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,631
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
160
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,050
Are you asking me
for something?
161
00:06:58,052 --> 00:06:59,668
Remember when
I did Peter Pan
162
00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:02,054
at Garrity Playhouse
75 years ago?
163
00:07:02,056 --> 00:07:05,390
I looked good in tights.
164
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:08,727
I'm going to put
a pair of tights on right now.
165
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:12,064
166
00:07:12,066 --> 00:07:14,433
Good luck with
whatever you're talking about.
167
00:07:17,488 --> 00:07:20,022
(screeches)
168
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:23,692
(sighs)
169
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:26,778
Everyone's so excited
to meet you.
170
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,997
Uh, where are my fans?
171
00:07:28,999 --> 00:07:30,449
They'll be here soon.
172
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:33,285
Please, sit down.
173
00:07:33,388 --> 00:07:35,465
Let's begin with a passage
174
00:07:35,490 --> 00:07:37,956
from your 68th book --
175
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,926
One if by Land,
Two if by Tip.
176
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:42,857
The final paragraph
177
00:07:42,907 --> 00:07:46,465
of what was supposed to be
the penultimate book.
178
00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,800
179
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:52,637
"Tip reached for his shades
but stopped.
180
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,439
"Brianna was a stunner.
181
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:58,110
"She was t. and t.
and t. and t. --
182
00:07:58,112 --> 00:08:02,364
"Toned and tanned
and tush and tits.
183
00:08:02,366 --> 00:08:05,400
"It hit Tip
like a bolt of lighting.
184
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:09,571
"The next time
he tipped his shades,
185
00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:11,740
"It would be for love."
186
00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:13,992
And then nothing.
187
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,328
No explanation
from Halston Thromboux,
188
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,663
no press release
from his publisher.
189
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:22,667
You can't bring a woman
to the edge of literary climax
190
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,252
and then not finish!
191
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:27,422
You owe me
that final book!
192
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:28,473
Look, what --
193
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:30,308
Now -- Now hold on
a second, Jane.
194
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,310
I-I can try
to explain to...
195
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,346
196
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,600
I-I don't feel good.
197
00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,852
(breathing heavily)
198
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,521
What did you put
in my tea?
199
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:46,942
W-Where -- Where are
my thrombon-a-he-yump?
200
00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:48,360
(echoing)
Where my thromba-he-na-yump?
201
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:49,861
(echoing)
Just a hobby?
202
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,414
You're not well.
Let me take your tea.
203
00:08:52,416 --> 00:08:55,117
Where my
thromba-he-na-he-yump?
204
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,506
When are we going?
205
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,542
I thought I was killing
a werewolf with Neon Joe,
206
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:05,510
not hanging out
with loser Sheriff.
207
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,462
Soon as we hear
from Neon Joe.
208
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,381
Thought he would have
called by now.
209
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:10,966
Well, I'm ready to go now.
210
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:13,051
Uh, no! No, no!
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
211
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:16,138
You can't hunt werewolf
until, uh...
212
00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:18,974
until you write
your theme song.
213
00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:20,692
Theme song?
214
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,060
Oh, he-yump.
215
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,279
216
00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,365
(echoing)
He-yump?
217
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:30,235
(echoing)
Oh, good! You're awake!
218
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:33,155
What's going on
he-yump, Jane?
219
00:09:33,157 --> 00:09:35,790
Why you got me tied up like this
on he-yump?
220
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,742
(cellphone ringing)
221
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,044
Oh, thank you.
222
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:42,164
Hand me my phone, please?
223
00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:43,999
(ringing stops)
224
00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:45,500
The hell, Jane?!
225
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:49,087
There. Now you can focus
on book 69.
226
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,639
-What?
-Come, come.
227
00:09:50,641 --> 00:09:54,009
That final book
isn't going to write itself.
228
00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:55,677
(sighs)
229
00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,834
Reach in the front left pocket
of my fashion jeans.
230
00:10:00,150 --> 00:10:03,101
That's my old partner --
love of my life.
231
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,403
Died helping me
hunt werewolf.
232
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:08,240
(wolf howls)
My heart broke that day.
233
00:10:08,242 --> 00:10:12,827
I'm no longer inspired
to write about perky nips,
234
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:16,665
firm bulges, and tight jeans.
235
00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:18,033
I'm sorry,
236
00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:20,118
but I'm just not gonna be able
to finish this book.
237
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,953
I-I'm sure you understand.
238
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,456
239
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:25,507
(sighs)
240
00:10:25,509 --> 00:10:27,959
Do you know
the story of Achilles?
241
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,345
He survived
many great battles,
242
00:10:30,347 --> 00:10:33,922
just like you survived many
great battles with werewolves.
243
00:10:33,926 --> 00:10:34,771
(wolf howls)
244
00:10:34,771 --> 00:10:39,020
But Achilles had
his vulnerable spot.
245
00:10:39,022 --> 00:10:41,356
Jane, what -- whatever
you're thinking of doing,
246
00:10:41,358 --> 00:10:44,142
may-maybe you ought
to reconsider.
247
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:47,362
That's a good boy.
you need to work.
248
00:10:47,364 --> 00:10:49,364
So let's get this
over with.
249
00:10:49,366 --> 00:10:51,399
(muffled) What you doing --
What -- What you doing now?
250
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:52,817
Just take a minute
before you --
251
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,703
Son of a he-yump!
252
00:10:54,705 --> 00:10:55,870
Ohh!
253
00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:58,247
-He-yump!
-Oh, I am so excited
254
00:10:58,296 --> 00:11:02,095
to see how Tip Shades
is going to fall in love!
255
00:11:05,963 --> 00:11:07,278
(growling)
256
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,531
Aah!
(growls)
257
00:11:11,835 --> 00:11:14,419
What is taking so long?
258
00:11:14,421 --> 00:11:17,005
Where's Jane?
259
00:11:17,007 --> 00:11:18,623
-What?
-You know what.
260
00:11:18,625 --> 00:11:19,708
Oh, my God.
261
00:11:19,710 --> 00:11:22,043
Move on!
I'm the werewolf.
262
00:11:22,045 --> 00:11:24,045
We both know I should be
wearing that costume!
263
00:11:24,047 --> 00:11:25,880
-It's not even close!
-Go howl at the moon!
264
00:11:25,882 --> 00:11:28,099
You put us head-to-head
in an audition,
265
00:11:28,101 --> 00:11:29,551
you know you lose!
266
00:11:29,553 --> 00:11:31,553
Whoaaaaaah!
267
00:11:31,555 --> 00:11:32,604
Oh, my God!
268
00:11:32,606 --> 00:11:34,606
That's not even howling!
That's singing!
269
00:11:34,608 --> 00:11:35,690
Aah
270
00:11:35,692 --> 00:11:38,360
(howling)
271
00:11:41,064 --> 00:11:42,897
What the hell is this?!
272
00:11:42,899 --> 00:11:44,616
What you mean?
273
00:11:44,618 --> 00:11:47,819
274
00:11:47,821 --> 00:11:49,871
"Tip knew
love was unattainable,
275
00:11:49,873 --> 00:11:51,706
"So he filled
the void in his heart
276
00:11:51,708 --> 00:11:55,794
"by filling the holes of the
transcontinental flight crew.
277
00:11:55,796 --> 00:11:57,996
"As he tipped his shades,
he said,
278
00:11:57,998 --> 00:12:02,384
"'Now, this is what I call
a layover.'
279
00:12:02,386 --> 00:12:07,722
"And with that, the master
tonguesman got to work."
280
00:12:07,724 --> 00:12:09,557
Sexy stuff, right?
281
00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:10,925
This is filth!
282
00:12:10,927 --> 00:12:12,260
Uh, now,
h-hold on, now, Jane.
283
00:12:12,262 --> 00:12:14,145
T-Tip still gonna
fall in love.
284
00:12:14,147 --> 00:12:16,314
T-This just
the erotic calm
285
00:12:16,316 --> 00:12:18,483
before the
true-love-filled storm.
286
00:12:18,485 --> 00:12:19,768
No!
287
00:12:19,770 --> 00:12:21,269
You need to start over.
288
00:12:21,457 --> 00:12:25,320
He cannot tip his shades
until he falls in love!
289
00:12:25,889 --> 00:12:27,776
(sighs)
Jane, please.
290
00:12:27,778 --> 00:12:29,360
I tried.
291
00:12:29,362 --> 00:12:30,695
I can't.
292
00:12:31,025 --> 00:12:34,866
Then I suggest
you find some new inspiration,
293
00:12:34,868 --> 00:12:36,201
and quick.
294
00:12:36,509 --> 00:12:39,621
Here.
Maybe these'll help.
295
00:12:39,623 --> 00:12:41,456
(sighs)
296
00:12:44,044 --> 00:12:46,127
(grunting)
297
00:12:49,466 --> 00:12:51,382
(beeping)
298
00:12:52,219 --> 00:12:55,136
(Jane whistling)
299
00:13:02,599 --> 00:13:05,280
Wouldn't want to leave this
lying around.
300
00:13:08,808 --> 00:13:10,869
I'm super-cool Cleave
(rock music playing)
301
00:13:10,871 --> 00:13:14,322
The kick-ass werewolf hunter,
Oh, yeah
302
00:13:14,324 --> 00:13:15,790
Ooh, yeah
303
00:13:15,792 --> 00:13:17,325
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
304
00:13:17,327 --> 00:13:18,827
Hunting werewolves
305
00:13:18,829 --> 00:13:20,211
Yeah, yeah, yeah
306
00:13:20,213 --> 00:13:21,796
Kickin' ass
307
00:13:21,798 --> 00:13:23,164
Yeah, yeah, yeah
308
00:13:23,166 --> 00:13:26,417
Werewolves gonna die
309
00:13:26,419 --> 00:13:28,803
Whoo!
That was awesome.
310
00:13:28,805 --> 00:13:31,506
Yeah, that sounded great.
311
00:13:31,508 --> 00:13:34,175
That'll be $50.
The price includes
312
00:13:34,177 --> 00:13:37,178
a Dr. Goofington's
USB thumb drive.
313
00:13:37,180 --> 00:13:38,847
That's a finger,
not a thumb.
314
00:13:38,849 --> 00:13:40,148
I know.
315
00:13:40,150 --> 00:13:42,851
It's a goof.
316
00:13:42,853 --> 00:13:44,686
That was so fun.
317
00:13:44,688 --> 00:13:47,405
My theme song is like
a hot fudge sundae,
318
00:13:47,407 --> 00:13:51,109
and the cherry on top
is me killing that werewolf
319
00:13:51,111 --> 00:13:54,162
and getting sweet revenge.
320
00:13:54,164 --> 00:13:55,613
(smooches)
Cherry.
321
00:13:55,615 --> 00:13:58,032
Yeah, look, Cleave,
about that.
322
00:13:58,034 --> 00:14:00,451
Uh...
323
00:14:00,855 --> 00:14:03,288
I'm not gonna get to kill
that werewolf today, huh?
324
00:14:03,690 --> 00:14:05,940
No. Probably not.
325
00:14:05,942 --> 00:14:07,775
That's okay.
I think what I really needed
326
00:14:07,777 --> 00:14:11,199
was some cheering up,
and I got that.
327
00:14:11,214 --> 00:14:13,297
My suicidal thoughts
are gone.
328
00:14:13,299 --> 00:14:15,833
They've hung themselves
on a rope
329
00:14:15,835 --> 00:14:18,889
made out of the fibers
of your kindness.
330
00:14:20,173 --> 00:14:22,390
(cellphone vibrates)
Oh. Hang on.
331
00:14:24,811 --> 00:14:26,260
"Hel."
332
00:14:26,262 --> 00:14:28,763
Hel, um -- Hel.
He-yump.
333
00:14:28,765 --> 00:14:31,099
He-yump!
So, that's how you spell it.
334
00:14:31,101 --> 00:14:34,519
You ready, Cleave? This town's
about to get one more cool guy.
335
00:14:34,521 --> 00:14:36,320
-What?!
-Ready to kill that werewolf?
336
00:14:36,322 --> 00:14:38,439
All right, yeah!
337
00:14:38,441 --> 00:14:40,608
Thanks for delivering out here,
Brooklyn Bobby.
338
00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:42,410
Hey, fuh-slice-aboutit.
339
00:14:42,412 --> 00:14:43,945
Brooklyn Bobby,
who's a better werewolf,
340
00:14:43,947 --> 00:14:45,997
-this jerk... or me?
-Oh, my God.
341
00:14:45,999 --> 00:14:48,116
-You don't have to answer.
-(growls)
342
00:14:48,118 --> 00:14:50,701
(laughs) I don't know.
That's pretty scary about it.
343
00:14:50,703 --> 00:14:52,370
-Whatever.
-No, not whatever.
344
00:14:52,372 --> 00:14:54,005
All right, all right,
I get it about it.
345
00:14:54,007 --> 00:14:57,208
(growls)
Hey, I said I get it about it.
346
00:14:57,210 --> 00:14:59,293
Hey!
Shut up about it!
347
00:14:59,295 --> 00:15:00,344
(screams)
348
00:15:00,346 --> 00:15:01,846
Oh, God! [bleep]
349
00:15:01,848 --> 00:15:04,849
Oh, my God!
(gasping)
350
00:15:04,851 --> 00:15:07,685
I see an angel.
351
00:15:07,687 --> 00:15:10,271
She's telling me
to go to the light about it.
352
00:15:12,442 --> 00:15:14,809
(breathing shakily)
353
00:15:14,811 --> 00:15:16,194
He's dead.
354
00:15:16,196 --> 00:15:18,980
355
00:15:18,982 --> 00:15:21,149
- Didn't mean to!
- Know you didn't!
356
00:15:21,151 --> 00:15:23,367
I just got so into it!
357
00:15:23,369 --> 00:15:24,702
Look at me! Look at me.
358
00:15:24,704 --> 00:15:26,370
This is what
we're gonna do.
359
00:15:26,372 --> 00:15:28,790
We're gonna bury
Brooklyn Bobby,
360
00:15:28,792 --> 00:15:32,723
huh, and then we're never gonna
talk about this ever again.
361
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,047
Okay.
362
00:15:36,049 --> 00:15:38,216
(breathing heavily)
363
00:15:38,218 --> 00:15:40,468
Let's get to it about it.
364
00:15:40,470 --> 00:15:42,670
(keys clacking)
365
00:15:48,011 --> 00:15:50,011
(sighs)
366
00:15:50,013 --> 00:15:52,063
367
00:15:56,736 --> 00:16:00,571
(Jane) Why don't I hear any typing?
368
00:16:00,573 --> 00:16:02,940
If you aren't typing,
you're not writing.
369
00:16:02,942 --> 00:16:04,992
Oh, uh, just a little bit
of writer's block,
370
00:16:04,994 --> 00:16:07,612
but, uh, you were right.
These shades are inspirational.
371
00:16:07,614 --> 00:16:09,864
I got my writer chubby back.
372
00:16:09,866 --> 00:16:11,699
Can't wait.
373
00:16:11,701 --> 00:16:14,702
Yeah, it gonna be good.
(door shuts)
374
00:16:14,704 --> 00:16:16,787
Don't you worry
'bout a thing.
375
00:16:16,789 --> 00:16:19,207
Gonna be funny, hot, dirty.
376
00:16:19,209 --> 00:16:22,936
Get your old 'ginie feel alive
for the first time in years.
377
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,214
Come on.
What are we waiting for?
378
00:16:26,216 --> 00:16:27,715
Let's go kill that thing!
379
00:16:27,717 --> 00:16:30,051
Let me just try Neon Joe
just one more time.
380
00:16:30,053 --> 00:16:31,269
Ugh!
381
00:16:31,271 --> 00:16:33,721
Come on, Joe.
What the hell?
382
00:16:38,194 --> 00:16:39,393
Aah!
383
00:16:39,395 --> 00:16:41,646
384
00:16:49,405 --> 00:16:51,372
(slow-motion)
Ohh!
385
00:16:55,044 --> 00:16:57,712
(slow-motion screaming)
386
00:17:03,586 --> 00:17:05,219
(clears throat)
387
00:17:05,221 --> 00:17:07,338
Uh, Jane?
388
00:17:07,340 --> 00:17:08,973
Yes?
389
00:17:08,975 --> 00:17:10,591
I'm done.
390
00:17:10,593 --> 00:17:11,926
(sighs)
391
00:17:11,928 --> 00:17:14,595
And, Jane, I just wanted
to let you know
392
00:17:14,597 --> 00:17:17,565
I couldn't have finished this
without you.
393
00:17:17,567 --> 00:17:20,979
It's my most
erotic book yet.
394
00:17:21,604 --> 00:17:25,072
(chuckles softly)
395
00:17:25,074 --> 00:17:27,074
"Chapter 28.
396
00:17:27,076 --> 00:17:29,443
"The Final Tip."
397
00:17:29,445 --> 00:17:32,079
"Tip spotted her
across the room.
398
00:17:32,081 --> 00:17:33,846
"Her name was --
399
00:17:35,952 --> 00:17:37,146
"Jane.
400
00:17:38,087 --> 00:17:41,122
401
00:17:41,124 --> 00:17:43,457
"He hadn't tipped in weeks,
402
00:17:43,459 --> 00:17:45,676
"and now his fingertips
403
00:17:45,678 --> 00:17:49,213
"were a mere centimeter
away from his shades.
404
00:17:49,215 --> 00:17:52,049
"She looked up.
405
00:17:52,051 --> 00:17:55,686
"His shades tipped down...
406
00:17:55,688 --> 00:17:58,022
"Never to tip again.
407
00:17:59,976 --> 00:18:01,859
"The end."
408
00:18:04,030 --> 00:18:07,448
Oh, Halston...
409
00:18:07,450 --> 00:18:10,952
It's perfect.
410
00:18:10,954 --> 00:18:13,904
Oh.
411
00:18:13,906 --> 00:18:15,957
412
00:18:18,711 --> 00:18:21,893
You think I'm gonna let you
kiss my lip?
413
00:18:22,749 --> 00:18:26,500
Not by the shade
of my tippy, tip, tip.
414
00:18:26,502 --> 00:18:29,971
415
00:18:29,973 --> 00:18:31,222
He-yump!
416
00:18:31,224 --> 00:18:33,007
You guys are the best!
417
00:18:33,009 --> 00:18:36,677
I got free pizza,
my own theme song!
418
00:18:36,679 --> 00:18:39,563
I got to shoot someone,
and they're okay!
419
00:18:39,565 --> 00:18:43,517
Hey, you guys seen Brooklyn
Bobby out there anywhere?
420
00:18:43,519 --> 00:18:45,019
-Um...
-Uh...
421
00:18:45,021 --> 00:18:46,687
No. Why?
422
00:18:46,689 --> 00:18:47,855
Isn't that his car?
423
00:18:47,857 --> 00:18:49,657
Fuh-Slice-Aboutit.
424
00:18:49,659 --> 00:18:52,860
Uh, oh, yeah. well, maybe
he came for a nature walk
425
00:18:52,862 --> 00:18:54,362
During his lunch break
Or something.
426
00:18:54,364 --> 00:18:58,366
Yeah! does a bear
shit in the woods about it?
427
00:18:58,368 --> 00:19:00,584
(laughter)
428
00:19:02,255 --> 00:19:03,537
Where's Neon Joe?
429
00:19:03,539 --> 00:19:05,206
I don't know.
He texted he-yump.
430
00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:08,709
That's not he-yump.
He's asking for help.
431
00:19:08,711 --> 00:19:12,013
Wait. didn't you say
Jane was part of your plan?
432
00:19:12,015 --> 00:19:13,547
(grunting)
433
00:19:13,549 --> 00:19:15,266
He-yump!
434
00:19:15,268 --> 00:19:18,469
He-yump! he-yump!
435
00:19:18,471 --> 00:19:19,520
He-yump!
436
00:19:19,522 --> 00:19:21,222
He-yump!
437
00:19:21,224 --> 00:19:23,891
I can't think
Of a more fitting conclusion
438
00:19:23,893 --> 00:19:26,277
to "The adventures
of Tip Shades."
439
00:19:26,279 --> 00:19:29,063
"He cocked his erect member,
440
00:19:29,065 --> 00:19:34,118
"ready to unleash one final,
lustful load of he-yump
441
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:37,238
"into the quivering embrace
of her loins!"
442
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,740
(gunshot)
Aah!
443
00:19:39,742 --> 00:19:41,075
Oh, he-yump!
444
00:19:41,077 --> 00:19:44,161
Forgot I was shooting blanks!
(chuckles)
445
00:19:44,163 --> 00:19:46,831
446
00:19:46,833 --> 00:19:48,716
(gun cocks)
447
00:19:48,718 --> 00:19:52,053
(slow-motion roaring)
448
00:19:52,055 --> 00:19:54,305
449
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,267
(heartbeat)
450
00:20:13,326 --> 00:20:14,775
Good job, Cleave.
451
00:20:14,777 --> 00:20:17,912
(howls)
452
00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:21,665
So much for your plans
To get Neon Joe to leave town.
453
00:20:21,667 --> 00:20:23,033
I had a change of heart.
So what?
454
00:20:23,035 --> 00:20:25,035
So what?
So what's next?
455
00:20:25,037 --> 00:20:27,288
A change of heart regarding
staying on this planet?
456
00:20:27,290 --> 00:20:29,039
Some of these humans
are good people.
457
00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:31,542
Maybe you should try
being friends with some of them.
458
00:20:31,544 --> 00:20:32,960
You keep this up,
459
00:20:32,962 --> 00:20:35,596
and I will see to it
that you stay here permanently.
460
00:20:35,598 --> 00:20:36,881
Now, if you'll excuse me,
461
00:20:36,883 --> 00:20:39,800
I have evening plans
with my current lover.
462
00:20:41,604 --> 00:20:45,306
"Brianna flaunted
her long, toned legs
463
00:20:45,308 --> 00:20:48,225
"and firm, supple buns.
464
00:20:48,227 --> 00:20:51,645
"As she breezed on by,
the shades tipped easily down
465
00:20:51,647 --> 00:20:53,781
"the rigid, throbbing shaft
466
00:20:53,783 --> 00:20:58,536
"of his glistening,
rock-hard proboscis.
467
00:20:58,538 --> 00:21:00,821
"That's when he knew...
468
00:21:08,247 --> 00:21:09,830
"Tip was back."
469
00:21:09,832 --> 00:21:12,049
(all murmuring)
470
00:21:13,503 --> 00:21:15,169
Wow!
471
00:21:19,342 --> 00:21:21,342
(sighs)
Bye, babe.
472
00:21:21,344 --> 00:21:24,979
My heart's back
On the meat market of love,
473
00:21:24,981 --> 00:21:27,264
and it got a chubby.
474
00:21:28,818 --> 00:21:30,985
(sniffles)
Hey, guys.
475
00:21:30,987 --> 00:21:33,604
-Hey.
-Ohh.
476
00:21:33,606 --> 00:21:35,573
-Thanks for coming out.
-Bravo.
477
00:21:35,575 --> 00:21:36,824
-Did you like it?
-Oh, yeah.
478
00:21:36,826 --> 00:21:38,025
Oh, great, great.
479
00:21:38,027 --> 00:21:40,161
That was a great story,
Neon Joe.
480
00:21:40,163 --> 00:21:42,446
- Still have a boner.
-Thank you.
481
00:21:42,448 --> 00:21:46,116
Y-You know, for a writer of fine
erotic fiction such as myself,
482
00:21:46,118 --> 00:21:49,537
a lasting erection
Is the ultimate complement.
483
00:21:49,539 --> 00:21:52,957
You know, guys, I may not
have gotten to kill a werewolf,
484
00:21:52,959 --> 00:21:55,876
but it was sure fun
getting to be a werewolf.
485
00:21:55,878 --> 00:21:58,379
-Yeah!
- Bet it was.
486
00:21:58,381 --> 00:22:00,381
Hey, to Cleave --
487
00:22:00,383 --> 00:22:05,886
The hero, who, tonight, stands
alone at the top of Mount Cool.
488
00:22:05,888 --> 00:22:07,054
-To Cleave!
-To Cleave!
489
00:22:07,056 --> 00:22:08,856
(laughter)
Oh, you guys.
490
00:22:08,858 --> 00:22:10,891
491
00:22:10,893 --> 00:22:12,560
You're a hero, man!
492
00:22:12,562 --> 00:22:13,644
Well...
493
00:22:13,646 --> 00:22:15,396
Come on!
494
00:22:15,398 --> 00:22:17,948
495
00:22:21,737 --> 00:22:24,893
(snarl, howl)
496
00:22:26,614 --> 00:22:30,101
Sync & corrections by dwigt
addic7ed.com
497
00:22:30,151 --> 00:22:34,701
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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