All language subtitles for Monarch Of The Glen s03e04.eng

( laughing )

Ah, thanks, Robbie.
Wonderful job, as ever.

Thank you
very much, sir.

Next.

Actually, I think I'll
come back another time.

Robbie: As you wish.
Would any of you gentlemen

be wanting something
for the weekend?

The usual, Robbie, a six-pound
line and a packet of hooks.

Who'd have thought it? A grown man
frightened of having his hair cut.

I don't mind having a haircut.
I just don't want that one.

We're going to a funeral. It's a
mark of respect. Speak to him, Golly.

He's old enough to know his
own mind. Where is Duncan?

Can I help?
Only you look lost.

I'm just waiting
for my mother.

Duncan: You're up here
on holiday, I expect?

- My granddad's being buried today.
- Oh, sorry.

Not howard mcrae?
I'm coming to that myself.

Oh, well...

I'm sure you'll be
a great comfort to us all.

Gotta go.

Duncan: I'll be seeing you there, then?

Who's your friend?

She didn't say.
Pretty lassie, though, eh?

Doesn't take after
her father then.

- Who is he?
- You're looking at him.

( theme music playing )

You're joking, aren't you?
And you can forget that.

We certainly
don't need this.

Dublin Bay oysters?

You put those on the order,
they'll come out of your wages.

That is Hector's friday treat.
Tell her, Arch.

He can manage without them.
We all have to make sacrifices.

Thanks...

for nothing.

( door slams )

A bill
from the florist?

I ordered a wreath
for the funeral.

Sorry, Archie,
personal expenditure.

The rules are the same
for everyone.

I suppose, technically. I thought
since you're staying here now,

there might be room
for a bit of give and take.

You scratch my back, I'll
scratch yours sort of thing.

Except I don't
have an itch.

Right.

( bangs )

Ahem- is my tie
straight?

Who am I,
your mother?

Sorry.
You look fine.

Did Archie tell you who we saw
in the village this morning?

Are you joking?
Why would he confide in me

when wonder woman's got
her feet under the table?

I don't think Archie
likes Stella living here

- any more than you do.
- Come on.

She says "jump,"
and he asks, "how high?"

( bangs )

I was looking
for the utility room.

Best of luck.

Duncan-?

- The utility room?
- Where is it?

What is it?

The place where
the washing machine lives.

- Why didn't you say?
- I'll show her.

- I don't mind.
- I said, I'll do it.

This way.

You can't be serious.
I'll use the launderette.

- Hector: Lexie!
- Don't leave it too long.

There's already a bad smell
around this place.

- Lexie! - There is no need
to get yourself into a lather.

You have other
things to wear.

That's hardly
the point, is it?

While we're at it, let's do
something about your hair.

Yes?
( chuckles )

I thought you were going
to the funeral.

I am, that's why
I asked you

to send my mourning suit
to the cleaners.

That is mourning,
as in being a mourner,

not morning, as in
"good morning, vicar. "

Think yourself lucky.
My suit never came back.

Could I make
a wee suggestion?

Next time, sort it out
yourselves.

Do you know, I think she's
in a better mood today?

( door slams )

- Maybe I'll just not go.
- Golly, you have to.

Golly: May be easier for everybody.

Molly: Surely you'll want to find out

what sort of young woman
she's grown into?

This may well be
your only chance.

I'll go and look
at my other jacket.

Not to worry, Archie
can lend you something.

- Yeah, of course.
- That's settled then.

Smart as you can.

Spying now, are we?

Calm down, you nearly
gave me a heart attack.

No more than
you deserve,

sneaking about behind
everybody's backs.

I don't sneak
anywhere.

I was looking for the
makings of a sandwich.

Bread.

Cheese.

- Is that it?
- Have you not heard?

Apparently, we're
on an economy drive.

( pounds )

( bangs )

( loud bang )

( loud pound )

It could have been
made for you.

I've got a black tie
here somewhere.

Here it is.

Jessica.

I'm sorry?

Her name- Jessica.

That's what you've been
wanting to ask me.

And no, as far
as I'm aware,

there are no other MacKenzie offspring
running around. She's the only one.

Where have you
been hiding her?

Apart from photographs, that's the
first time I've seen her in 20 years.

- You're sure that's her?
- Oh, yes.

It's her grandfather's
funeral we're going to.

That was Alison,
her mother... in the car.

- I didn't know you had been married.
- we weren't.

I wanted to,
but...

Alison knew she would never
be happy as a highland wife.

"Too much world to see
out there," she said.

Anyway, the pair of them
went off

when the child was no more
than a couple of months old.

Is Jessica gonna know
who you are?

Only one way
to find out.

- Kilwillie: I'm not early, am I?
- No.

- I thought you would be ready.
- I am.

What do you think
of the new gas guzzler?

It's a beauty,
Kilwillie.

I'm rather fond
of her myself.

She turns quite
a few heads.

Molly:
I'm sure she does.

Oh, yes.

( laughs )
Oh, yes.

Do you want to drive her
to the church?

- Really?
- Absolutely.

You don't mind a bit
of a squeeze, Molly?

- When I can get one.
- Hector: What?

We'll meet you at the bridge.
I've suddenly got the fancy

to stretch
the legs a bit.

Shall we
perambulate, Hector?

I need a word on the Q.T.
I have rather splendid news.

Well, I better put
the old bus to bed.

You can leave it.

I want to take a proper look
round the estate.

Are you sure?
She can be temperamental.

So can I.

What would you say
if I told you

you had been nominated,
selected, voted on

and approved for membership
of the Highland Hundred?

- I have never heard of it.
- Because it's a secret society.

- The Highland Hundred?
- Shush!

( whispering )
The Highland Hundred

has its roots in the hellfire
club of the 18th century.

Men of means and influence
getting together

to let their hair down.

It's evolved a bit
since then,

but membership still has,
shall I say, certain advantages.

What sort
of advantages?

I don't just mean making the
right contacts. I promise you,

once you've attended one
of their monthly benefits,

you'll never miss
another.

I am talking a luncheon
of epicurean proportions.

Gourmet food,
fine wines,

rare malts,
and most importantly,

no fillies. So you can
always loosen the trouser belt

afterwards without fear
of reprisal.

- Sounds like heaven on earth.
- Oh, better than that.

Why wait till now
to ask me?

"Out of darkness
cometh light. "

Only on the death of a member
we can bring in fresh blood.

I see. this chap,
do I know him?

Whose funeral do you
think we're going to?

- Aa-ah!
- Ah.

- ( door opening )
- Lex?

We're about to go.

You don't have to tell
me what you're doing,

- you'll do it well.
- If you're referring to Stella,

she has our best
interests at heart.

Didn't take you long
to change sides.

- We all have a part to play.
- It's obvious what mine is. Don't worry.

I'll stay out of the way,
where I can't upset anyone.

You know how we stand. I can't
even buy nails without approval.

Doesn't mean you had
to ask her to move in.

If you could just see
that she gets what she needs.

( sighs )
Of course...

seeing as you
asked so nicely.

Thank you.

Kilwillie: You're back
in business, anyway.

It's out of my hands, take
rather a back seat these days.

Hmm. probably
for the best.

Marvelous job,
I have to say.

It should be. That's
100-year-old seasoned oak.

Whose wood have you
got for that?

Mine.
I supplied it.

- Stuart Mclntosh.
- Mclntosh?

Do you realize you're
on MacDonald land?

Hector, this is
the 21st century.

The clan wars
are long over.

"MacLean Building
Materials?"

I had a delivery
a couple of miles away.

I thought I'd see
the finished article.

- ( car horn honking )
- Last you for generations, this will.

I think that's about
to be put to the test.

Who's this maniac?

That maniac is a loyal
family retainer.

He's driven across this bridge more
times than you've had hot muffins.

Watch out!

Muscular, agile, dynamic.
24-valve, 204 bhp,

4.4 v8 engine, and a glovebox
big enough to hold a jamboree in.

- ( Hector chuckles )
- After you, old man.

No wonder we lost
at Culloden.

Can I help you?

Uh, yeah. I was looking for the laird.

You won't find him
in there.

You're probably right.

- Let me give you a hand with those.
- It's okay.

Come on, just so I can
boast to my pals.

What are you
talking about?

I can tell them,
truthfully,

that within a minute of
meeting the most gorgeous woman

- I had the clothes off her.
- ( giggling )

In that case,
be my guest.

When is the best time to
come back and catch the man?

You can come in
and wait.

You sure?

I could do
with the company.

Woman: Thank you for
coming. I appreciate it.

Hello.

- Thank you.
- Hello, Alison.

I was wondering when
you would say hello.

This is Golly. He's...
a very old friend of mine.

Hi.

How are you?

Me? I'm fine.

Good.

Alison: We're here for a couple of days.

All right.

We'll have to spend
some time together.

Lot of catching up
to do.

That would be
very nice.

I wanted to offer
my condolences.

Your father will be
sorely missed.

Thank you.

Bit of a spook,
isn't he?

Just need to get
to know him.

Hi.

That older guy that
father's glad-handing,

didn't he used to be
the local M.P.?

The other one's
a sheriff.

- Gave me my first speeding fine.
- Looks the type.

- No news on the wake then?
- For the last time, Hector,

- they're not having one.
- It's a damned disgrace.

Music and dancing, that's
what I want when I go.

Believe me, dear,
there will be.

( laughing )

( gagging )
Oh, god!

Molly:
It was a lovely service.

Jessica: This town is too creepy.

We'll try
and find a hotel,

but I don't
hold out much hope.

- Mrs. MacDonald.
- Alison.

Jessica: If we can't get anywhere,
I'd rather sleep in the car.

I mean it.

She's getting wobbly about
staying at her granddad's place.

No, I'm not.

There must be someone
who can put you up.

Any ideas, Golly?

They'd be welcome
to stay at my cottage.

- Will you give them the west wing?
- Thank you, Duncan.

There's hardly room
to swing a cat.

Golly can bunk up
with us.

In that case,
that sounds ideal.

- Thanks, Duncan.
- Aye.

No problem, Golly.

The door's open.

I'll give you
the grand tour.

Can't wait.

Good of you
to do this.

She is my daughter.

Wasn't sure
how you would feel

after all this time.

Caused you a lot of pain
taking her away.

I won't deny that.

Will you tell me
something?

Was it worth it?

You always could
read my mind.

There were things
she's missed out on.

He never said,
but I know my dad

would have liked
to have seen more of her.

It's too late now.

But it's
made me think.

I realize I've given up
any right to ask for anything...

go on.

But I would like
to tell her the truth...

- ( sighs )
- About who you are.

Do you think
that's for the best?

It's an opportunity
to be a part of her life.

Surely, you're not
gonna say no?

That's what I wanted
from the beginning.

What is there
to consider?

Thinking and doing
are two different animals.

Just give her
a chance to know you.

Hmm.

Right...
that one!

Wrong again.

- How do you do that?
- Magic, my dear.

- No-
- ahem-

- Arch, you're back.
- Yeah.

I'm not disturbing
anything, am I?

No. this is Stuart.
He came to see you.

The elusive laird.
It's a pleasure.

We may be able to do
some business together.

Here.

Stuart: 12 years I've been in salvage,

I'm still surprised
what you can find

lying around
in these old estates.

Do you know
what that is?

A slate.

A ballahoolish slate.

They don't make them
like this anymore.

Look how fine
the grain is.

A derelict cottage,
what might we be talking?

Let's assume
cut stone,

flags,

lintels, lead,
timbers...

maybe a couple of nice
fireplaces- �500, 600?

Nah, we're wasting
each other's time.

Let's not be hasty.
�800.

�1200.

- I can maybe go to �900.
- How about a round �1000?

- You're on.
- Cash.

Of course. I can get a couple
of trucks here tomorrow,

- you won't even know we've been.
- That suits me fine.

You could be sitting
on a little gold mine.

- Here's to the-
- shh!

( whispering )
Highland Hundred.

Now, to business.
The benefit.

Have you had any thoughts
as to where?

Me? why would I?

First time on parade, the
newest member always plays host.

- we'll hold it here.
- Here?

It's a great honor.

I'm sure it is, but Archie
wouldn't stand for it.

Archie?! my dear fellow,
nobody outside the hundred

must have an inkling.
Just cough up the cash,

and leave the details
to those in the know.

Right.

- Cash?
- Or check.

How much?

- �2000.
- ( chokes )

It won't be a problem,
will it?

Kilwillie-
really.

We only have
to lose the cottage,

we'd be looking
at quite a windfall.

Which "her ladyship"
need know nothing about.

No, they would be gone before
she knew they were there.

It's the ace up our sleeve
- superior knowledge of the estate.

What will you do
with the money?

Buy us a bit of freedom. Means we
don't have to beg for every penny.

Gets my vote.
So, where is he?

- Who?
- Stuart.

Oh, he's gone.
Why?

I don't know. Just thought he
might say cheerio, that's all.

No, he shot
straight off.

Oh, well.

He's a bit of a chancer, if you ask me.

Is that right? I'll let
you know after our date.

What date?

He's requested the pleasure
of my company for dinner.

Ah!

Sorry, Hector,
the cupboard is bare.

Do put everything back
where you found it.

Golly:
Here you are.

Thanks.

Mm-mmm. Best china, too. I'm honored.

I don't get a lot
of guests up here.

Don't worry, I've drunk
out of a lot worse.

Nice.

It's been
15 years now.

Murray,
his name is.

He's not come up
with you?

He thought it best
not to be here.

He's happy for us
to tell Jessica?

Jessica knows he's
her step-dad,

and he understands
why I need to do this.

Sounds like
a nice guy.

He is.

What's happened
to the hot water?

- You'll have run it all off.
- But the bath's only half full.

- That'll be about right.
- You can manage?

I suppose I'll have to.
Do you get electricity here,

or should we start
lighting the oil lamps?

This is
Golly's home.

Sorry.
It was a joke.

I realize that. Don't empty
the bath when you're finished.

I've got underwear
I need to soak.

You are kidding?

Deserved that,
didn't I?

Thank you,
Duncan.

Do you know how many disused
cottages there are on this estate?

What makes you
say that?

It's not a test.
Just take a guess.

A few.

So far, I've found 10
which are rubble,

eight half-standing,

and 14 that,
with a bit of work,

would make excellent
holiday homes.

Have you counted the two
inside Wallace Woods?

I don't think
I did.

Archie: Duncan, haven't
you something to do?

- I was just trying to help.
- you have. excellent, Duncan.

With the shortage
of local accommodation,

there's incredible
potential.

We have been
down that road.

Any not already renovated
aren't worth doing.

I don't agree. And first
thing in the morning,

I'm going to call
a surveyor.

Archie, you could be
sitting on a gold mine.

Humph.

Slight flaw
in the master plan?

Alison: And she's eight in that one.

We were in Malta.

If we're gonna do this,
it'll have to be soon.

We can't put it off
much longer.

- Who's gonna tell her?
- Jessica: tell me what?

What's going on
with you two?

You've been acting odd
all evening.

You might want
to sit down, lass.

I'm all right
here, thanks.

Okay...

your mother
and me were...

not just
old friends,

we...

we were involved
for a while.

- Involved?
- Whatever you want to call it.

- I do not need to know this.
- Yes, you do.

- What on earth for?
- Because...

Golly is your father.

- You?
- Yes.

Nice timing, mum.

Thought this would
cheer me up

after granddad's
funeral, did you?

I didn't want you
to go away from here

thinking you've got
no connections anymore.

One day you'll
have kids of your own,

and they'll want to know
where their roots lie.

You could have saved
yourself the trouble.

No wonder you've never
been able to tell me before.

Getting yourself pregnant
by a farm laborer.

What are you gonna
spring on me next,

the village idiot
is my half-brother?

I realize I'm not
what you imagined.

You've got that right.

I don't know who makes
me more embarrassed,

you or her.

- Jessica, wait!
- ( door slams )

Why go to work
on an egg,

when it's quicker
on a kipper?

- Thank you.
- Okay.

Molly.

For those of you
who don't know,

I shall be dining out
this evening,

so it'll be
a cold supper.

We'll manage.
Going somewhere nice?

I'm going with
someone nice.

Even better. Do I detect
romance in the air?

Mm, I could be tempted.

( door closing )

Golly: hi.

I was wondering if you
could do without me

for the rest of the day?

I'd like to spend time
with Jessica.

Take as much time
as you need.

There's nothing wrong,
is there?

No, no, it's just
that I don't think

I'm what she expected
as a father.

Tell her,
if she wants to try mine...

- thanks, Archie.
- You haven't seen Stella?

No.

I think she
said something

about counting
more cottages.

Thanks, Lex.

Archie: Stella!

I thought I'd see you
at breakfast.

I'll grab
something later.

The cottages...

I ought to warn you,
they're like

a lot of structures
on the estate,

they look sturdy,
but one strong gust of wind

and they'll blow over.

Isn't that right,
Duncan?

Not really.
Like I was saying,

the ones up the long track,
they're excellent.

- It's not just the structure-
- you might as well stop there.

I know why you're
so against the idea.

- You do?
- It's the cost.

- Eh?
- That's what's putting you off.

One guy wanted �4000
just to supply the slates.

Exactly-
how much?

�4000. All original, though. Reclaimed.

�4000!

Architectural salvage
is the bandwagon to be on.

There's people making
fortunes out of it.

Yeah, and I know
one of them.

So, we're dropping the
whole renovation idea?

No, we'll just buy new.
It's cheaper.

Thank you, Duncan. I
knew I could rely on you.

No problem.

Hector: That's right. �2000.

Well, of course,
I'm serious.

And you can tell
whoever that is

I can hear them laughing
in the background.

I can do what?

The same to you,
with knobs on.

Psst! trouble?

Wrong number.
( laughs )

What news?

I've had a recky,

and I think the basement
is our best bet.

- Ahh.
- we can all assemble down there

completely undetected, if you
can get the chaps in and out.

You leave that
to me.

Your club tie. I thought I
would deliver it personally.

Jolly decent
of you.

- Ah, check first.
- There's the rub.

Used the last one
yesterday.

There'll be a new
checkbook in the post.

The moment it arrives...
I'll send one on to you.

You don't have
the necessary, do you?

( sad chuckle )

No.

It's nothing
to be embarrassed about.

- It's not a problem at all.
- I can still join?

Oh, no.
I'm afraid not.

But, the benefit.
Surely you can't just cancel.

No, we'll hold it
at my place.

No need for the rest of us
to miss out on the jollies.

Rumor is, it's
the finest feed ever.

( chuckles )

I thought you were
staying another night.

I'm out of here
as soon as mum gets back.

Well, she'll
be awhile.

- How do you know?
- Because I asked her to.

I'm sorry about
last night.

Maybe we shouldn't have
sprung it on you like we did,

but it was what
your mother wanted,

and if I'm honest,
it's what I wanted.

A bit late to be
a part of my life.

You know nothing
about me.

You know nothing
about me,

but I would like the
opportunity to find out.

If you'll... if you'll give me a chance.

Golly:
What do you think?

Jessica:
It's a boat.

That's not a boat,
that's the boat.

- You don't recognize it?
- Is it...

it's the one your grandfather
taught you to row in.

It's had a lick or two
of paint since then.

What are you
doing with it?

He wasn't getting out
as much as he had,

so he thought I would
have more use for it.

Keep it
in the family, eh?

Is there anyone around who
doesn't know you're my father?

Let's get on
with this, shall we?

Okay.

( door slams )

Has Stuart
been around?

No. why?

Because that shyster
has offered me a fraction

of what those cottages
are worth.

- He is a businessman.
- Is that what you call it?

Not that you
would know.

I'm sorry?

Face it. if you would have been
more capable in that direction,

we wouldn't have you-know-who
poking her nose everywhere.

Speaking of Stella,

you not been up-front
with her yourself.

Morning, Archie!

If you tell me what you
want us to take first,

I'll get
my boys started.

Too late to change
my mind, then?

- It would be awkward.
- Good. because I just have.

- We had a deal.
- So, sue me!

Golly:
You're a natural.

Jessica: I love the water. Being in it-

being on it.
Just being next to it.

Golly:
Yeah, me too.

Were you happy?

What?

You and mum.

Yeah.
Well, for a while.

- Till I came along and spoiled it.
- Don't say that.

That's what happened,
isn't it?

As far as I was concerned,
you made it better.

- Are you hungry?
- Oh, starving.

Venison
or corned beef?

I'm a vegetarian.

Well, these cheese ones
will be yours.

- Comedian, eh?
- Takes one to know one.

Some of the cottages
are just ruins.

They're just gonna
lie there and rot.

- His loss.
- That's Archie's trouble.

He wouldn't know a good deal if it
jumped up and bit him in the nose.

Just remember, it's thanks to his
tenacity that we're still all here.

Not that I expect
a Mclntosh to understand.

Okay, but cash money
for a pile of rubble?

You'd think he'd jump
at the chance.

- Cash money?
- Yep.

And plenty of it.

Tell me more.

Golly: Must be pretty fit
to handle a boat that well.

Must be all that sport
you played at university.

Your grandfather and me were
the proudest men in the highlands

- the day you got your degree.
- Jessica: Really?

Heard you were a bit
of a footballer.

Or have you
given that up?

A pub near us
has got a women's team.

- You play in it?
- I have.

Maybe I'll get
to watch you one day.

We only play
locally.

Durham isn't
all that far.

Just give me a time
and I'll be there.

- What?
- Yeah.

Cheer you on, take you
out for a drink after.

Maybe I can introduce you to my friends?

- I'd like that.
- Well, I wouldn't.

In case you hadn't realized,
I've got someone who plays dad.

Murray might only
be my stepfather,

but he's always
been there for me.

He was the one
who took me on holidays,

helped me with my homework,
taught me to drive.

You can't step back in
and take his place.

That's not
what I meant at all.

Good, cause you're
20 years too late.

I'm not going to apologize
for wanting to see more of you.

- I'm your father.
- No, you're not.

You're a stranger.
I bet if the truth's told,

you aren't even sure
when my birthday is.

I knew this was
a mistake.

So, for a whole cottage
we're talking-

well, let's assume
cut stone, flags,

lintels, lead, timbers

maybe a couple
of nice fireplaces-

- �500.
- Done.

Let's see the color
of your money.

( door opens )

- July 24th.
- What?

Your birthday,
July 24th.

I bought that
on your first birthday.

Don't tell me-
you forgot to send it?

It was sent back.

Christmas the same year,
the same thing.

I got this for you
when you were two.

And this...

that Christmas, although
I admit I did not send that.

By that time, it was too late.
I'd lost you.

Oh, come on. You didn't
even know where we were.

I kept in touch
with your mother.

I knew I had obligations
and I met them.

Just to make sure you had
what you needed.

- Money, you mean?
- Yes, lass, money.

Never a fortune, mind, not on
the wages of a farm laborer,

but enough to keep
body and soul together.

I can't blame you
for being angry with me,

but you at least
get your facts right.

( door opens, closes )

This better be good.

It is, Kilwillie,
it is.

I've got it.

Oh, Hector, I knew you
wouldn't let the side down.

It was rather
last wicket,

but a steady nerve
and a straight bat

won the day.

- It's all there.
- I don't doubt it.

And this is yours.

Well, we better
alert the chaps.

Benefit at Glenbogle,
tomorrow at noon.

Marvelous.

Good job
we booked, eh?

I should have said.

It's not the busiest night
in the local social calendar.

So where do you
usually go to eat?

You're joking,
aren't you?

Come on, you can't be
short on offers.

Around here,
eligible bachelors

are not our
greatest asset.

I bet you've had
your moments.

Yeah.

That's all
they have been.

What about the dashing
young laird?

Me and Archie?

( laughs )

In your dreams.

Cook and cleaner,
that's all he sees me as.

Then I'd say
he needs glasses.

Thank you, kind sir.

Coffee?

As long as you
let me make it.

- Morning.
- Hello.

Archie:
Sorry.

You don't waste
much time, do you?

It's not for me
to say, but-

you're right.
It's not.

- Be careful, eh?
- I am.

That's why we put on some
music, shared a bottle of wine,

talked into
the wee small hours,

then Stuart spent the night
in one of the guest bedrooms.

As far as I'm concerned,

he's a lot more welcome
than some people around here.

I think she's starting
to like me.

Are you going to be long?
I want to get started.

Whenever
you're ready.

Ahem, ahem-

Kilwillie:
Morning, Archie.

- Morning.
- Morning.

Ahem-

I love it when a plan comes together.

( chuckling ) The hundred,
how are they going to get here?

To each
his own way.

Oh-!
( laughs )

Ahem-!

- Ah.
- Morning.

Ahem!

Hi.

Look, I won't
keep you long,

I just wanted to say
something before you go.

Fine,
but me first.

I don't mean to sound
heartless, but I think

we should pretend that the last
couple of days never happened.

Okay.

Fine.

You're right, of course.
You've got a family.

You don't need me making
things difficult for you.

I spoke out of turn
yesterday, and if-

if I've upset you,
I'm sorry.

That was the last thing
I meant to do.

There's been
enough hurt.

That's it.

Anyway,

you take care
of yourself, lass.

Goodbye.

- Do you see that?
- Stella: what?

That bush,
it moved.

It'll be
the breeze.

Stella: I had a quick
look around the other day.

It's not in too bad a condition.
It won't take much doing up.

In a couple of months,
we could be letting.

I don't believe it.
It's gone.

- Must have been that breeze.
- Archie, I'm being serious.

Are you sure this is
the right place?

Yes, well, no.
I mean-

it can't be,
can it?

Whole cottages
don't just vanish.

No, not without help.

Right. now, how does the
official greeting go again?

Just like this.

- That's it.
- That's it.

Welcome.

Welcome, brother.

I think it's time
to get dressed.

Is it necessary
to do all this dressing up?

It's not just napkins in laps and noses
in troughs. There is ceremony involved.

Of course, ceremony.
How many more to come?

Just one,
by my reckoning.

( thumping above,
Molly shouting )

- Oh, dear.
- Oh, dear.

Thunderbirds
are go.

Right.

Molly: Pat him down, Duncan.

And you- hands
above your head.

Spread 'em...
please.

All right, we'll take over from here?

- Watch out, he's tricky. - Keep him
covered, shall I, till the razzis arrive?

I don't think there's any need
to bother the boys in blue.

But he's an intruder.
Waltzed in, bold as you like

and I was just settling down
to watch "Ironside. "

Look, I think justice
could be best served

if we were to take him
down to the cellar

and give him
the old Kilwillie...

caution.

What do you say,
Hector?

( panting ) Absolutely.
it won't be a pretty sight,

so I'm going to have
to ask you both to-

understood.

Come on, Duncan.

Sometimes its best
we don't know.

Thank you,
both of you.

I'm so sorry,
your grace.

( panting )

Come on, then.
Let's go.

Okay.

( coughs )

( laughs )

I prefer what you were
wearing last night.

Back to reality, eh?

Come here. You look
good to me in anything.

Thank you.

When were you gonna
come back and take the rest?

What's going on?

As far as I know

cottages don't just disappear,
but four of ours have.

They were unsafe. Should have
been pulled down years ago.

You don't deny
you've taken them?

- Why should I?
- Because it's theft.

Not when you've got
a receipt.

- That's not from me.
- Did I say it was?

Lexie: If you're looking
for someone to blame,

maybe you should look
closer to home.

- This is it, Kilwillie.
- Certainly is. your blindfold.

- Hector: not too tight.
- Stay right where you are.

What on earth
have you two come as?

- Fancy dress.
- Told you there was something funny going on.

- What an absurd suggestion.
- The money, where is it?

Say nothing.
Careless talk costs lives.

Fear not,
Kilwillie.

There's only one thing
for it, then.

We'll have to take away
your toys.

Duncan,
train set.

It will be
mine for keeps?

If we don't get what we want,
yes. Stella, fishing rods.

You wouldn't dare!

It might be the thing
to jog the memory.

I shouldn't leave it too long.
I might forget where I put them.

Do you know what happened to the
last woman who tried to threaten me?

Do you know what happened to the
last man who tried to stand in my way?

All right.

Duncan, wait.

Can I just
keep an engine?

I had the money, but it's
gone. It was only �2,000.

- What have you done with it?
- I joined the Highland Hundred.

The what?

The Highland Hundred. It's
supposed to be some secret club.

Do you mean
you've heard of us?

- Hasn't everybody?
- I hadn't.

I suggest you ask
for a refund.

Kilwillie: That's completely
out of the question.

We haven't refunded a penny
in our entire history.

Lord Kilwillie, I intend to
recoup those funds from somewhere.

I only wish
I could help.

Howard McRae, wasn't he
one of your members?

- Oh, yes-
- ( Kilwillie stammers )

You might very well think so.
We couldn't possibly comment.

Archie: Which might explain
the people at his funeral.

Like the sheriff.

I don't see what that's
got to do with anything.

I was thinking, I could tip
off the Press and Journal.

Give 'em a few names they
might be interested in printing.

Oh, yes- it could
even pay.

They'd want to know
who I'd heard it from.

But then I could never hold up
my head in polite society again.

Stella:
Exactly.

Is it too late
to say I'm sorry?

You've nothing
to be sorry for.

Yes, I have.

I've been thinking,

there's no reason why I can't
have two dads, is there?

Not that I know of.

What changed
your mind?

Finding out what great
taste you had in presents.

You should have seen
what I got you the year before.

That would be nice.

'Course, you'd have
to invite me back.

Only if you
really mean it.

I do.

I promise.

Anytime
you like, lass.

Anytime you like.

All's well that ends
well, eh, Kilwillie?

It hasn't ended very well
for me or my bank balance.

Good feed
and convivial company.

That will take
your mind off it.

- I suppose you're right.
- Of course I am.

- Come on, then.
- You got me?

- Yes.
- Thanks, old man.

Behold,
the benefit.

Splendid, can I take
this off now?

No, no, I wouldn't.
Not just yet, old man.

Right, well-

hello, chaps,
I mean, brothers.

( chuckling )
It's lovely to be here.

I suppose this is all
a part of the ceremony,

you all being quiet?

That's splendid, only
don't start without me.

( theme music playing )

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