All language subtitles for Monarch Of The Glen s02e08

Hector: Now then
- walk towards me, swearing your loyalty

to your lord
and chieftain.

Halt.

Now you present to me the ancient
standard of the MacDonalds,

carried in battles from
Prestonpans to El Alamein.

Then you say
the sacred words

handed down
from history.

- Hello, dad.
- Give me that!

It seems to me, you're not treating
this ceremony with the proper respect.

- Sorry.
- Quite.

And I pass the standard
to the lord's attendant,

the lowest member
of my house.

Where is Duncan,
by the way?

- You must now kiss me.
- I knew there was a catch.

I now proclaim you

chieftain
of this proud land,

and master
of these men assembled.

No need to be formal,
just call me boss.

I'm still chief,
for two days more.

Then my life's work
is done.

Hello, welcome-

Joe, the welcome committee
is here.

Hello, welcome
to Scotland, my name-

I kiss this ground.

The prince
from over the water

is home at last.

Mr. MacDonald?

( American accent) Chief
MacDonald to you, son.

I'm here to reclaim
my inheritance.

I'm the real Laird
of Glenbogle.

( theme music playing )

Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the Glenbogle

Retail Experience.

Where the milch cow
of the daytripper will graze.

( grumbles )

High quality
consumer goods.

Granny McCray's
Conserve?

A genuine artifact
celebrating

the unique history
and culture of Scotland.

( blows raspberry )

A Nessie
whoopee cushion.

"Made in Hong Kong. "

To attract the more
discerning shopper.

"Amuse your friends with
this rib-tickling Jimmy wig.

It's hilarious. "

( laughing )

You really think
this will work?

Imagine it
- busloads of old codgers let loose in here.

Backed up all along
the driveway.

If this is the future,
I'm glad I'm in the past.

I think you've done
a marvelous job.

- Thank you, mother.
- and it's perfect

that you're opening on the day
of the clan gathering and games.

So, who's going
to do the honors?

That's a good point, I hadn't
thought. What about you, father?

Very well. Kilwillie?

What about Katrina?

She got you the grant
for this place.

Katrina?

She's back?

Bonnie, you see
what I'm seeing?!

God, if my ma could see this,
she'd never believe it!

It's incredible.

Come here, son.

See that?

It's beautiful, huh?

One of these days, that's all
going to be yours. Your destiny.

Maybe Angus wants to decide for
himself what to do with his life. Joe!

- where are you going, now?
- I got to walk in the water.

I got to feel the good old earth
of Scotland between my toes.

The timber's
from the estate-

Golly found an old Scots pine
up on the hill.

For centuries it grew
proud on a hill.

Giving shelter
to pine martins,

and gold crests,

and what's it
reduced to?

A receptacle
for Jimmy wigs-

come on.

- And dust.

I'm sorry if what I've done
upsets you.

I have to get on,
loads to do.

But isn't that
the way of all flesh?

Duncan: And in a minute...
Glenbogle, the big house.

Golly:
It's probably nothing,

but if you're planning on
bringing lorries and coaches over,

- you might want it checked out.
- Looks all right to me.

It was built
140 years ago

for horse drawn
carriages.

And it's the only way
to the house, so...

if anything
happened to it...

I suppose we'd better get
an engineer to check it out.

In the meantime, we'll put up a
sign, keep the heavy stuff off.

( bolts rattling )

Our American friends.
I'd better get back.

Archie, something
you should know-

I'll speak to you later.
Hello, welcome to Glenbogle.

I second that.
My son Archie.

- Hi, nice to see you.
- Hi.

Hi. Thank you for inviting
us into your lovely home.

Look at this.

Great Sword of the
MacDonalds, am I right?

Huh-
that old thing.

Think it dates
from the 17th century.

16th, I think.

Forged by a Bavarian
ironmaster

called...
Gustavus Mecklin,

- if my memory serves.
- Please forgive my husband.

I'm afraid he's always
been a bit of a know-it-all.

I like to do my research,
dear. Be fully prepared.

It's great to have

some American MacDonalds
here for the clan gathering.

Wouldn't have missed it
for the world.

And please, this place isn't
a hotel, it's a home.

- You must treat it as if it's your own.
- oh, we will.

- Won't we, Bonnie?
- Thank you. You're most gracious.

Well...
dinner is at 8:00.

Duncan, here, will
show you to your rooms.

It's just
a short climb.

Oxygen tanks to be
picked up at base camp,

on the second floor.

Are you going out?

Just popping over
to see Katrina.

Right.
Be careful, eh?

Okay...

what's that
supposed to mean?

I mean...

that the girl
is fragile.

She only just
broke up with Fergal.

So, it might not
be best to go

stomping over there
in your size 12s,

offering yourself
as a substitute for him.

Give her some space
for a while.

Do you get me?

Okay...
thanks.

Archie MacDonald.

Hi.

Timing impeccable
as usual.

Sorry?

I didn't realise you
were coming so soon.

I would have
cleaned up.

I must look
a right state.

No, you look great.

Just- great.

Do I...?
Thanks.

How are you,
Katrina?

Oh, you know.
Okay.

That's not true.

I feel terrible.

All that business
with Fergal was...

it was just a complete disaster.

Yeah, right.

Still, the house
looks nice.

Sorry?

You using the weathershield
stuff? Golly swears by it.

- Archie-
- I suppose in this climate,

with all the wind
and the rain,

outdoor surfaces need all
the protection they can get.

- Why don't you just shut up?
- Eh?

I thought you might
have come here to talk...

make human contact.

Right.

So?

Well- there
is something.

I was wondering...

I was wondering if you'd
like to open the shop.

You what?

Cut the tape, say a few choice
words. You're good at that,

getting on your feet
and sounding off

about something you know
very little about.

Ahem.
That was a joke.

So what do you say?

I say thanks
for dropping by.

It's been
a real comfort.

A tonic,
you might say.

Now if you'll
excuse me,

I'm just going to stick
my head in a gas oven.

( door slams )

That'll be a "no,"
then.

Hector!

Hector?

What is it, Monty?

( dog whimpers )

End of another
day, eh?

"And darkness steals across the land. "

Oh, there you are.

It's nearly dinnertime.

I was thinking
about old digger.

The look on that
old dog's face

when the vet
stuck the needle in.

Hector, that was
years ago.

What's the matter?

Why have you been
mooning around

like old king lear,
these last few days?

It's hard
to explain.

( scoffs )
Is it now?

Well, let me try then.

All Archie's hard work
is coming to fruition.

Conversely, your grip
on what you regard

as your life's work,
is weakening.

You're a monarch.
About to be dethroned.

Consequently, you feel

old and useless,
and redundant.

"What,"
you ask yourself,

"is the point of
carrying on?" Am I right?

That about sums
it up, yes.

I know you're right,
but what am I to do?

Look at it this way. You
live in a beautiful place.

You have two
lovely children.

One grandchild,
you have good health,

and last
but no means least,

a beautiful
and loving wife.

So...?

Snap out of it, Hector, for
goodness sakes! There's a dear.

Come on.

( dog whimpering )

( car door slams )

Impossible woman!
Ridiculous...

- how did it go?
- How did it go?

Famously, swimmingly,
expi-ali-dociously!

Archie-
this is important.

- Are you and Katrina-?
- Finished.

Not that we
ever got started.

Am I physically grotesque,
Lexie? Am I gross or insensitive?

Boorish, or dull or-

no, you're not, Arch.
Far from it.

I think you and I need
to have a conversation

about a matter
of a mutual interest.

Later, after dinner.

I'll be waiting,
sunshine.

Joe: You know, when I was a kid

my old ma use to sit me on her knees

and tell me stories
about how her family

were descended from these
big people in Scotland.

- Hector?
- Sorry- fascinating.

I bet a lot of Americans
have stories like that.

It wasn't till recently
that I discovered

just how big
these people were,

or how close
the connection was.

Joe, what are we
going to do tomorrow?

We have to find something
that Angus will enjoy.

I got this Mormon genealogist
to check it out,

and got my lawyers
on the case.

The results were
really very interesting.

- And what were they?
- well, Archie-

- can I call you Archie?
- Sure.

Bottom line is...

the rightful Laird
of Glenbogle,

the real commander-in-chief
of the MacDonalds,

is me.

( chuckles )

Isn't that
the darndest thing?

Molly: Sure is... the darndest thing.

- Well, well.
- Archie: this is ridiculous.

Have you got any proof?
Any evidence to back it up?

Kind of.

If you don't
believe me,

take a look at this.

Archie:
This is unbelievable.

Joe: Hmm, I know what you mean.

It was kind of tough
for me too at first, but...

now I'm getting used
to the idea.

You have the nerve to
sit at our dining table,

and calmly announce that you're
going to take this family's home away?

Archie, please, there are certain
obligations of hospitality.

Bonnie, Joe, you're most
welcome, as long as you don't do

what our ancestors may
have done- run Archie through

with a sword
in the middle of the night.

( group laughing )

Oh, Angus...

your mommy sent me up
with your milk and cookies,

so why don't you

( sweetly )
Come and get it?

- good night, Joe.
- Night, Hector.

- Night, Bonnie.
- Night, Hector.

Why are you being
so nice to them?

Put them
off their guard.

Don't let them see
we're worried.

What are we gonna do?
This is serious.

Think hard and act
expeditiously.

That'll make
a change.

Why don't you just
leave it to Archie?

Night, boys.

Good night.
I need whiskey.

This is
a three-dram problem.

We need somebody who knows
about this sort of thing,

with a cool head
and a sharp brain.

- And low animal cunning.
- Exactly.

I know just the man.

Bonnie: Never been so
embarrassed in my whole life!

Don't know why
it's such a big deal.

We had a deal,
which you broke.

We'd come and see if it suited
all of us before you started-

we did, and it does.
It's perfect.

Just what we need
right now.

Joe, I-

Joe, I'm talking
to you.

Where are you
going?

To say good night
to the son and heir.

Ah, Lexie,
just the girl.

That's me.

We need lots of coffee.
We'll be staying up all night.

Sounds promising.

Well, I'm ready.

Ready for what?

Our chat. We arranged to have a chat-

I have no time for that. I
have to speak to Kilwillie.

Kilwillie?!

Yea, lo and verily,

the savior did leave Galilee
and come unto Glenbogle.

Kilwillie,
am I glad to see you.

Well, as soon as we're
all sitting comfortably,

we'll begin.

Joe:
The tale of Ranald MacDonald,

chief of the Clan MacDonald
of Glenbogle,

who fought bravely
by Bonnie Prince Charlie's side

right to the very end
of the 45.

Noble defeat
at Culloden.

He slipped away after the
battle and hid in a cave,

here, while the redcoats
ransacked the house.

Later took a boat for
the colonies in Virginia,

cut down forests,
and grew tobacco.

And promptly picked
another fight with the English.

He led a regiment
of militia

in the War of Independence.

He was so smart

and so brave

that they called him
"the Hammer of the English. "

- Then what?
- Hector: well, nothing.

That side of the family
just got lost.

Until now.
It's all in here.

You descend

from Ranald's
younger brother Donald.

He snatched his elder brother's
lands and titles,

apparently illegally.

Well, this Joe person
is a direct descendant...

...of Ranald himself.

Your great-great-

great-great-great-
great-great-grandfather.

What do you think
of that?

One day, Angus...

you'll know just what a great
thing in your life this is.

Now, does everyone understand
the general strategy?

Yes, find out as much
as we can about them,

look for weaknesses
in their case.

Which I have
to report, amigos,

looks as robust
as the dollar.

At the same time,
put them off the place.

Shouldn't be
too difficult.

Emphasise the irritating
problems of living here.

Maybe spend an afternoon
with you, Hector.

Or even better, Archie.

How about...

getting the bog
in their bathroom

to back up
from the septic tank?

Meanwhile, I shall seek
the opinion

of Kilwillie's ace lawyer.

Hector, forgive me, but isn't
this all rather two-faced?

What's the matter
with that?

We're fighting
for our lives here!

Time, as they would say,
to play hard bowl.

Ball, Hector.

They call it hardball.

Oh, yeah!
Hardball, sorry.

Right, this session of the
war cabinet is now over.

You know your tasks,
go to them.

( vehicle approaching )

Have you run out
of paint?

My notice to quit
the cottage.

One month, I think.

If you're going
to move in here,

you need to know
what you're taking on.

Very good of you,
Hector.

- Morning.
- ( surly ) is it?

Who was that?

Our head man
MacKenzie.

What's he like?

All right, when
he's not on strike.

- ( crashes )
- Or drunk.

Best avoided then,
fearful temper.

When he's sober?

When he's sober?
Well...

he's never
completely sober.

Sad, really.

If you're going to be
spending more time here,

I should show you
the local shops.

- Great. Is there a mall?
- Oh, the shop's here.

Just the one?

The garage and the funeral
director are down there.

That's it? You get
everything you need here?

There's a sweet
little supermarket

an hour's drive
that way.

Clothes? Makeup?
Accessories?

Harrods.
12 hours that way.

Sure is in
a parlous state, Hector.

Oh, these outbuildings are
nothing compared to the house.

Dry rot, wet rot,
the roof...

- you don't say? - We've had estimates
for the work, of course,

but
- ha! Never seen so many naughts in my life.

- How much?
- Oh, ridiculous sum.

Three million.

- Sterling or dollars?
- Sterling, of course.

That's okay.
Within budget.

When we sold
the company,

we were left
pretty comfortable.

Really?

Cashed in to the tune
of 110 million-

dollars.

( coughing )

Duncan, have you got some kind
of dead animal in this vehicle?

Just my old coat, Molly.

Sorry if it's a bit ripe.

I'm really sorry, Molly,
but I think I'm gonna upchuck.

( Bonnie choking )

( sniffing )

Oh!

Beautiful.
Just beautiful.

Well, we've tried to
look after it for you.

You're lucky,

having your son
beside you here.

He's a good boy. No life
for him here, you know.

Terrible hole.

Your crest, huh?

Guess I'll be needing
one of those.

Oh, yeah? What symbol will you have,

a pair of crossed
hamburgers?

You're a funny guy,
Hector.

But if you think
you're gonna put me off

this wonderful place,
you're wrong.

This is my life now.

All right,
judgment day has come!

You come smarming over here
with your helicopters

and your
thousand dollar trainers!

You think you're so much
better than us, don't you?

You give no respect.

Well, let me tell you,

you spoiled little brat,

you are nothing!

You're less
than nothing!

You are minus nothing
to the power 10!

Do you get me?!

( Angus sniffling )

Angus-

that's my dad's
stupid name for me!

All my friends
call me Ricky.

Listen...
I didn't mean-

me and my brother,

Joe Junior-

we used to play tricks
on each other.

Joe Jr.?

Is that "Pictish invader"?

( game beeping )

What level
are you at?

You're a bit early
for fond farewells.

I'm not leaving
for another four weeks.

Before you go...

there's a few things
I'd like to say to you.

Are you sure they're
worth listening to?

I think so.

Why don't you come around
for a drink tonight?

I would really like
to see you.

Yeah, all right.

Ah. Well?

Well, according
to your lawyers,

he has
a very strong case.

I feared as much.

Exhaustively researched...

and backed up by a heap
of legal opinion.

Can't we challenge it
in court?

Kilwillie's man
said it was futile.

We'd probably lose, and spend
a fortune in the process,

which of course
we don't have.

Of course...

you could always try the
chieftain's challenge.

Kilwillie...

you lovely,
clever man!

Terribly risky,
though.

Desperate times call
for desperate measures.

And what on earth is
"The Chieftain's Challenge"?

It was a way of solving
leadership disputes

in the good old
bad old days.

Rivals were tested to see who
was the best man for the job.

Made rather more sense than
plunging the clan into civil war.

But this is the 21st century, right?

I have a terrific case in law.

Oh, you don't know
Scottish law, Joe.

We would fight you
to the death.

It'd be a war of attrition, I'm afraid.

- Might last five years, 10...
- easily.

At the end of the day,
the only winners

would be the lawyers.

Kilwillie: It always distresses
me when I see good men

contemplate lining the
pockets of the shyster brigade.

Indeed, but that's
beside the point.

The clan used the procedure
centuries ago

to find the best leader,
the man most worthy.

I thought you'd like
that kind of challenge.

Kilwillie: If you wish to
be considered a gentleman.

I'm not a gentleman.
I'm an American.

- But a challenge, right?
- A test of brain,

a test of brawn,
and...

a test of wisdom.

Okay.

I'll do it.

This is so sweet.

My little refuge.

I can see how
you might need it.

You don't really want to be a
laird's wife, do you, Bonnie?

It's my husband's dream.

Guess I haven't got it in
my heart to deny it to him.

What's this?

Ooh, it's... Jamie.

He died here
some years ago.

In the loch.

He was our boy,
our eldest son.

( Bonnie gasps )

What is it?

We lost a son.
Last year.

Our eldest,

Joe Jr.

Oh...

he kinda lost himself.

He and his father
hadn't spoken in... years.

He died of an overdose.

Oh, my dear girl.

Joe blames himself.
I mean...

that's why
he sold the business.

That's what this is all
about, this obsession,

getting away, making a
fresh start somewhere.

Oh, I understand,
I do, I do.

I've longed for that
for myself, but...

then Archie went away
for years.

It wasn't easy
for him.

It's not for Angus-

Ricky.

He loved his brother
so much.

You stayed.

You can't leave here,
can you, Molly?

Your boy's here.

At peace.

( Molly sobs )

( clock striking )

Psst!

So...?

Tonight's
the night, then?

I'm sorry?

For our wee
t�te-�-t�te?

I can't, I've got
this revision to do.

If you don't know it now,
you never will, Archie.

This can't wait any longer.
It's really important.

Archie, come on.

I'll test you on the clan
wars of the 15th century.

Sorry, Lex. Next week's dinner
menu will just have to wait.

It's not dinner men-
Arch!

Looks good, huh?

Unbelievable.

- Joe?
- Uh-huh?

When are you gonna face up
to reality? Never mind a kilt,

what you've been wearing for the last
year is a pair of oversized blinkers.

- Ever since Joey died.
- I don't want to talk about that.

Of course not.
That's my point.

You want to escape to
some fantasy land somewhere

where everything is safe
and cozy and free from pain.

What are you
talking about?

How do you think
these good people feel

about being put out
of their home?

Where their children
were born and grew up and-

oh yeah, where one
of them died.

You don't understand.

This place is our future.
It's our destiny.

No, it isn't.
It's your weird obsession.

It has nothing to do
with us or our son.

You're wrong!

It's him I'm doing it for,
all of it!

Joe, he doesn't want it!
It means nothing to him!

He's miserable here!

- Oh!
- Yes!

You dancer!
Well done, mate.

You want a fruit gum?

Well,

what can we do
for you?

Lexie, I've come
to see Archie.

You'll be lucky.

He asked me over.

Archie?
Asked you?

For a chat.

Don't you think
he's suffered enough?

Sorry?

Have you no idea
what he went through

when you were dabbling with
your dreamboat from Dublin?

But now you've dumped him,
and you snap your fingers

and expect Archie
to come running.

That sounds like a pretty good
definition of mental cruelty to me.

That is not fair.

Och!
Give me a break, darling!

Hasn't it occurred to you,
maybe our mutual friend

looked for a more
reliable partner

while you were leading him
such a not-very-merry dance?

What?

Do you mean...
Archie and you...

I'm fond
of a slow smooch, myself.

Maybe that's what he wanted
to talk to you about, eh?

Right.

Well, I better go.

Good night, Lexie.

( humming )

( humming continues )

- Arch, that you?
- Yep?

Lexie, what are you doing? I'm-

busy, I know. I've got
something important to tell you,

and it can't keep
any longer.

Now...

you know I fancied you
from the minute I saw you.

And since I've got to
know you as a person,

a man...

my feelings have grown.

Have they?

You're... caring,

you're kind...

you think
about other people...

at the same time,
you're strong.

You're special, Arch.

I want to be with you.

Understand me?

What do you say?

Um...

it's difficult.

I don't know
what to say.

Well,
work it out-

quick.

Lexie, you're...

you're funny,
you're...

clever, you're
beautiful, you're... wise,

you're very,
very sweet.

But?

Katrina got to me first.

I see.

I'm sorry, Lexie.

I really am.

It's all right.

I'd already
guessed it anyway.

Archie-
oh, morning, Lexie-

your father's
anxious to leave.

Come on, my boy!
I've got the keys

I've got the sword.
I need my champion!

( bagpipes playing )

( bandleader
shouting orders )

( bagpipes, drums playing )

( music ends, applause )

With the power
vested in me

as chief of the Clan MacDonald,

I declare
this 147th Gathering and Games

in session.

For those in combat today,

may your eye be keen...

and your arm be strong.

The Clan MacDonald!

All:
Clan MacDonald!

( applause, cheering )

You come
to watch me win?

Make a fool of yourself, you mean?

How could I
stay away?

Well...

time to begin.
Best of luck.

- Thank you.
- Good luck, my boy.

Your ancestors will be
with you in spirit.

Very comforting.

Break a leg,
darling.

But not really.

The first part
of the challenge...

tests the rivals' skill
at one of the clan's

most important
and most venerated rituals:

Stealing his neighbor's livestock!

( laughter )

To your stations!

One...

two...

three... go!

Joe MacDonald
wins easily.

Archie MacDonald
better buck his ideas up!

( bleats )

( applause, cheering )

( playing )

Kilwillie: The second
part of the challenge...

- swap.
- tests the rivals' knowledge

of the clan
they wish to lead.

I have selected
10 questions,

five for each candidate,

about the history
of the MacDonalds.

Katrina!

I need
to talk to you.

I don't want to talk
to you. I'm going home.

Look, I spoke out of turn last night.

I want to make it right.

( applause )

Each candidate has dropped
only one point.

So we have a tie
at 4-all.

I'm going to ask
a tie-break question.

How did Angus MacDonald...

choose Glenbogle

to be the site
of his castle?

Archie: I know this, something
to do with a hawthorn tree.

He strapped a chest of gold
to the back of a donkey,

let it wander over his
lands. It headed for the loch,

stopped by a hawthorn tree
and urinated.

And that's where
he built his castle.

- are you sure about that?
- Yes!

- You don't want to change your mind?
- No.

- Correct!
- Yes!

Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen,

the final part of the Chieftain's
Challenge takes place in five minutes.

Lexie, I've not got time
for this.

Well make time.
Sit down.

Now... I want
to talk to you.

About Katrina.

Why aren't the pair
of you together?

( sighs )
I don't know...

maybe because there's always
been something in the way.

First, it was Justine, then
there was Fergal. Now he's gone.

I don't know, we just can't
seem to reach each other.

Lexie: Never mind that.
That's all in the past.

The only important thing is how
you feel about each other now.

Archie: I feel the same
way I've always felt.

Lexie:
Which is, Arch?

Archie: I'm nuts about
her. End of story.

Archie?

It's time, old boy.
You're on.

Don't you think you better
do something about it?

For goodness sake,
get on.

Go and say something
to him.

Archie...
I-

come on, my boy. We're
all ready. Over there.

Good luck.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the final and deciding

test of the challenge.

With this challenge
for the great sword

of MacDonald of Glenbogle,

20 generations loyal

to the Bonnie Prince
have chosen their laird.

Challengers...

you will draw the hilt, until a
flash of green or red doth touch

the sacred soil here in
the shadow of Benbogle.

Gentlemen...

address the sword.

Gentlemen...

commence the struggle.

( crowd cheering )

( yelling )

I declare
Archie MacDonald to be

the right and true chief
of his clan.

( chatting )

I failed.

I failed you,

I failed Angus,

in fact,
I failed Joe Jr.

Joe.

I'm scared, Bonnie.

It's like I'm looking
into a black hole,

and there's Joe Jr.
Staring back at me.

Joe, maybe someone
failed him,

maybe you and me,

maybe even himself.

We have to face up
to this,

and we're gonna
do it together,

and we're gonna
do it at home, okay?

Let's go find Ricky.

He needs a father, too.

Hey, guess what
he just called me.

- What?
- Unc Dunc.

( laughs )

I've never been
an uncle before.

Hector:
Members of the clan.

The time has come
for me to lay down my burden,

and for a fitter, younger man
to take the reins of office.

My son.

Archibald Horatio
Hector MacDonald,

do you pledge
to uphold the traditions

of the MacDonalds
of Glenbogle,

and to keep forever
a home in the hills

for members of the clan

wherever they may
have roamed?

I do so pledge.

I hand to you
the ancient keys

of the house
of MacDonald,

and trust them
to your care.

I now pronounce you
chieftain of this proud clan,

and master
of these men assembled.

( cheering )

Well, laddie,
you tell them.

I've been thinking
about this day

for most of my life.

Thinking about it, but
never expecting it to happen.

Firstly, because it was
never supposed to be me.

And then when suddenly,

terribly it was,

I ran away
because I didn't want it.

Or so I thought.

And now...

finally...

crazily
I'm standing here...

holding these
funny old keys,

saying those
funny old words,

and all of a sudden
it just seems-

right.

I've made my pledge,

and I will work hard
to keep it.

Long live the MacDonalds!

( cheering )

I want to thank
those people who helped me,

and I want them
to come and join me up here.

My father and Duncan
are already here.

The best ghillie in Scotland,
Golly MacKenzie.

My dear mother, Molly.

My very,
very best pal, Lexie.

And finally,
our ex-head teacher,

ex-councilor,

but hopefully not
ex-friend,

Katrina Finlay.

( crowd applauding )

Is that the best
you can do?

Ahem- right.

Everyone back to the house

for the opening
of the visitors' center,

and the wildest hoolie
in the history of the clan.

( cheering )

All: # a moo-moo here
and a moo-moo there #

here a moo, there a moo
everywhere a moo-moo

old MacDonald had a farm

E-I-E-I-O

Old MacDonald had
a farm

E-I-E-I-O

and on that farm
he had a duck

E-I-E-I-O

with a quack-quack here
quack-quack there

here a quack, there a quack
everywhere a quack-quack Old MacDonald-

- ( brakes squeal )
- Driver, what are you playing at?!

It's the bridge.
It's not safe.

It's been there
for 140 years, man!

It's not gonna
fall down now.

( mumbling )

( cheering )

Go, Hector!

All right!

( hooting )

All right, Hector.

- Well done!
- Now, get on!

I take full
responsibility.

Where were we?

Old MacDonald
had a farm

E-I-E-I-O

and on that farm
he had a pig, E-I-

may god bless her,

and all who buy
knickknacks in her.

Would you stop
doing that?

- What?
- Grinning like a loon.

You've done nothing
else for the last hour.

What do you expect? All my
Christmases have come at once.

Hector:
Ahem-hem!

Thank you.

Father?

Are you all right?
What's happened?

I... I think you'd better
come and have a look.

Hector: Shouldn't be
too difficult to fix.

Just the odd
new girder or two.

And the odd
hundred grand.

It's okay.
Be calm.

It's all right.

So this may be
the only way in or out.

We'll just have to ferry the
visitors across. It's no big deal.

This sort of thing
happens every day, right?

( screams )

( scream echoing )

( theme music playing )

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