All language subtitles for Monarch Of The Glen s02e05.eng

Okay, everyone.
Dunc, we need that fire going.

That's my Savile Row suit. I wear that!

Then you can
carry on wearing it,

if you don't mind
being stuffed and mounted.

Is nothing sacred? People
rifling through your wardrobe,

valuable early editions going missing.

Archie:
What early editions?

"Kidnapped," by Robert
Louis Stevenson.

Your pen's run out.

( laughs )

Ultraviolet ink.
See?

Do try to keep up
with technology, Archie.

Since you're determined to open
our house to the great unwashed,

I'm marking everything
that isn't nailed down!

It's not the whole house,
just this room.

There, what do you think?

Ludicrous!

Don't you realise
the aristocracy needs mystique?

The aristocracy needs funds. Our
next grant share depends on this.

We might get away with it.
Come along, out.

Archie: No one goes in here
between now and Wednesday.

Then we open the door and
take the heritage committee

back to the days of
our Victorian ancestors.

( falling debris,
Duncan coughing )

I think I should
have used...

a bigger sheet.

( theme music playing )

They're casing the joint
in broad daylight!

Where are the dogs?

Come on, boys, get him!
Get him! Kill, kill!

( dogs barking )

Hello there.

Honestly. I'd be better off
with a team of gerbils.

Geordie!

How wonderful
to see you!

How are you doing,
duchess?

Hector, you remember
Geordie?

Your bookie, yes!
Business good, is it?

I had to let
the roller go.

Ah, but you've
still got the shoes!

You look like a man in need
of refreshment, come along.

In need of a good
horsewhipping, if you ask me.

Paintings, costumes, furniture,
caked in soot, ruined.

It's not funny,
Katrina.

No, sorry,
of course not.

I've called in a firm
of cleaners,

but they can't make it
till the end of the week.

We're never going to open in
time, and we need that grant.

So... you want me
to nobble the council?

It's not about nobbling the council-

what?! You never come to see
me unless you need something.

- This tableau was your stupid idea.
- It is not a stupid idea!

Who cares about the life
of a laird 100 years ago?

It's not as if that much has
changed for you lot anyway.

Apart from dry rot, death
duties and the council tax, no.

My heart bleeds.

I suppose you'd rather I
restored a Victorian croft,

and set up some twee little scene
with a noble son of the soil.

Well, it'd have
more relevance than

a load of dummies
in posh frocks.

Right, fine, okay.

What?

I will set up a tableau
in a Victorian croft.

In 36 hours?
Good luck.

Thank you so much
for your help.

Fergal:
Katrina?

Hiya, boss.

Um, yours.

Picked off the estate?

Then they're his.

Is everything
okay?

The laird just had
some council business,

but we're finished now,
aren't we, Archie?

Oh, we are most definitely finished.

Took me ages
to find those.

Katrina: sorry.

No, I don't want
to go to a rave.

It'll be fun!

Two hours in
a clapped-out Land Rover?

Paying good money to leap around
in the mud till my ears bleed?

That's not my idea
of a dream date.

Ah! But it wouldn't be a date.

It would be two mates
out for a good time.

Oh, go on, Lex,
what do you say?

I say-

lose the eyeshadow,
it went out in the '80s.

Thank you.

Mmmm!

That's the first
I've eaten for a while.

Lady luck
ran out on me.

Took my worldly
possessions with her.

You lost everything
on one horse?!

Not a horse, no!

Turn of the cards.

Not as sharp as
I used to be, it seems.

- How very sordid.
- Hector, please.

I had to liquidate
my assets pretty quick.

The roller,
my premises...

my I.O.U.'s.

Oh, I see.

I had to pass them on,
I'm sorry.

You mean you owe
this man money?!

Oh, no.

Molly's always
settled her debts.

He cleaned me out,
Molly.

- Who did, exactly?
- His name's Murdo.

He owns a nightclub
called "The Knave. "

Big poker game
at the back.

Big money.

How much money does Molly
owe this Mr. Murdo?

We'll come to some arrangement.
I'm sure he's a reasonable man.

Depends what you mean
by "reasonable. "

Tell me, where are you
staying in the meantime?

Here and there.

You don't mean to say
you're sleeping in that van?

It's surprisingly
well appointed-

and the views
are fabulous.

You must stay here till
you're back on your feet.

I wouldn't want to impose
on your hospitality.

Aw, what a shame.
Lovely seeing you.

- I insist!
- I don't want to be any trouble.

You won't,
will he, Hector?

If you'll excuse me-

I'm just going
to count the spoons.

Golly: Now this could
be what you want, Archie.

The roof's still on.
The walls are sound.

It's not too far
from the road,

so the punters won't have
to get their feet wet.

Plus the jacuzzi
is full of oysters,

and the cable TV
is on the blink.

Archie: Am I some kind of dinosaur?

What?

Some grasping
feudal tyrant,

desperate to bleed
the peasants dry?

- Why don't you ask Katrina?
- Yeah, right.

As if I give a toss
about her opinion.

As if I care about
anything she says.

What?

Oh, methinks the laird
doth protest too much.

Look, I couldn't
care less about her,

and she feels just
the same about me.

She'd rather hang out with
the wild man of the woods.

- Fergal? Don't think so.
- And he is welcome to her.

In fact, a tenner says they'll get
it together by the end of the week.

Archie!

I'll throw in a few
words of encouragement.

They'll hardly
even notice.

Then she'll be out of my
hair, once and for all.

She's in your hair,
is she?

You don't think
I can manage it?

All right,
20 to your 10.

I'll take the bet.

But believe me, son,
you're going to lose.

Archie: In the meantime,
all we have to do

is transform this
- into a tourist attraction.

Ah, well,
good luck.

Golly!

Listen, son, it's not
a ghillie you need.

It's a shrink!

I've got beasts
to feed.

( bleating )

( door opens )

Can I help you?

I'm looking
for a Mr. Murdo.

And what business
do you have with him?

My friend Geordie
owes him some money.

Go home, doll.
You don't belong here.

Stitches,
who's your girlfriend?

The name is
Molly MacDonald.

I'm a friend
of Geordie's.

You're
Mrs. MacDonald?

- How do you do?
- Hello, what can I do for you?

Don't worry about them.
We have no secrets.

I understand that you've
taken over Geordie's business?

I am administering his
accounts, that's correct.

Well, he laid a lot
of bets on my behalf.

He was very reluctant
to pass on your details.

I understand there's a
sum of �4,000 outstanding.

Actually,
it's three.

Actually, it was three
- last week.

I'm a businessman,
Mrs. MacDonald,

I like to encourage
prompt repayment.

You will be repaid,
I promise.

I don't run the business on promises.

- It's strictly cash only.
- Mr. Murdo,

I am not the sort
of person-

I don't care what sort
of person you are.

Well, surely we can come
to some arrangement?

Tell you what,

you can work in the kitchen,
help with the washing up.

Thank you for your time,
Mr. Murdo.

I'll be in touch.

This place stinks.

Yep, it's authentic.

It is possible
to overdo the authenticity.

Thanks for mucking in-
with the mucking out.

Actually...

I wanted to pick
your brains.

It's pretty lean pickings
up there, I'm afraid.

You've known Katrina for
quite awhile now, haven't you?

Yeah, since we
were kids.

Only I need some...
inside information.

On her likes
and dislikes.

Fergal:
I want to wow her.

Wow her,
or woo her?

Wow or woo...

I think both.

I've got a really good
feeling about this, Archie.

I don't want
to blow it.

She did not go for
those flowers I gave her.

She doesn't like
cut flowers-

she says she's always
waiting for them to die.

She's very fond
of trees-

poplar,
silver birch.

A tree...
a tree, of course.

I thought you two
didn't get on?

Whatever gave you
that idea?

Nothing.
Thanks a lot, Arch.

( distant bagpipes playing )

( bagpipes
grow louder )

( pipes stop )

Thank you.

Oh, that looks
fabulous.

Have you any
brown sauce?

H.P.?

I'll go
and have a look.

Quite a selection.

Don't they have cutlery
in Kilmarnock?

- Start from the outside and work in.
- Oh, really?

Molly?

I'll go and fetch
another plate.

Thank you, Lexie.

Where have you been
all day?

I've been to see
Mr. Murdo.

He wants me
to repay him this week.

What's the problem?
Pay the man!

Hector, it's �4,000!

4,000 poun - ?! How in heaven's name
are we going to tell Archie?!

Do we have
to tell Archie?

- Mmm, smells good.
- Ah-!

I wish I could say
the same about you.

Thank you.

Hello, Geordie,
how are you?

Oh, I'm fine.

Molly: Geordie's staying
with us for a little while.

Archie:
Right, good.

Would you like me to hose
you down before dinner?

No, I can't stay. I'll just have
a sandwich or something, please.

All right, milord.

( sighs )

( forced laughter )

Everything all right?

Splendid, splendid, only we seem
to have run out of brown sauce.

That's all right.
I'll make do with ketchup.

Right.
I'll leave you to it.

( sighs )

You're up early.

Got lots to do.

No rest
for the lone ranger, eh?

Not until Archie's
croft is finished, no.

So, what do you do for
relaxation, kemosabe?

Ride into the village,

and show all the girls
your six-gun?

- I usually read a book.
- Oh, an intellectual.

I like a man
with a bulging cortex.

So... would you like
to go to work on an egg?

Thanks. Maybe...

Duncan...
would be up for that.

And what will
Tonto be having?

Soft-boiled
with soldiers?

What was all that about?
You were coming on to him!

And what's that
got to do with you?

I thought we were
just mates?

Aye, right,
we are- but-

I was thinking about
asking him to this rave.

What do you think? I
mean, speaking as mates?

Why not?

Go on.

Ask away!

What about
your soldiers?

They're dismissed.

You do not
throw these out!

Put this in there,

and you charge
six quid a shot.

Anybody complains,

you refer them
to Stitches. Okay?

Mr. Murdo.

Oh, hello.
Bring your marigolds?

No, but I've
brought you this.

What's it worth?

To me, it's priceless.
To you, about �4,000.

Well, let's see
what the jeweler says.

Before you take it, I have
a proposition to put to you.

You're not just a businessman,
are you, Mr. Murdo?

You're... an entrepreneur, a risk taker.

I could hand this over,
and you could sell it,

but where would be
the thrill in that?

You like cards
- let's play poker for it.

Do you know how
to play poker?

Oh, yes. It's rather
like bridge, isn't it?

It's my money.

Why would I want
to play cards for it?

Mr. Murdo, anyone
would think you lacked-

what do you call it-
bottle.

Right.

Your house.
Tonight.

My house?

Ah... his lordship

doesn't know about your
expensive habits, does he?

Shall we say... 7:30?

Bring some friends if
you like, and black tie.

Of course, appearances are
so important, aren't they?

They certainly are.

Even if you're
just selling whiskey.

Why did you agree?

I've got nothing
to lose.

She's got plenty.

What about
furniture?

I'll have to fill up
a trailer at the house.

- Once we fix the floor.
- And strip the panels.

- And rebuild the fire.
- And paint the place.

This is insane.

Hello.

Oh, great.
That's all we need.

Don't worry, it's not
an official inspection.

( sniffs )
Phfaw!

Good thing, too.

Hums a bit,
doesn't it?

Unless, of course,
it's you two.

Did you want
something?

I wanted to see Fergal,
actually.

Right, excuse me.

Now... somebody...

planted a silver birch
outside my house last night.

Right.

I'm sorry
to hear that.

I'll come over
straightaway and dig it up.

Stop.

It's beautiful.

How did you know?

It reminded me
of you,

lithe and bright...

and beautiful.

It's funny, that.

'Cause you remind me
of an oak.

Do I, now?

Dense and knobbly,
and full of squirrels.

( both giggle )

It's all right.

Don't worry.
I'll get a pane of glass.

I thought you were trying
to fix the place up,

not demolish it.

It's not easy,
with you two canoodling.

We were not
canoodling.

He planted a silver
birch outside my house.

That is the single most romantic thing

anyone has ever
done for me.

Please, don't try
and spoil it.

I'm not trying
to spoil it.

Fergal is a lovely guy.
He deserves a lovely-

I'd better go and see
where that glass is.

I can't believe you
invited that hoodlum here!

I got into this mess,
I'll get us out of it.

Molly, you can't do this.
He's a cardshark.

I am not giving in
without a fight, Geordie.

I'm sorry I ever got you involved.

Apology accepted.
Perhaps you'll climb

into that dreary
shatterbang and disappear!

No, Hector, I need
Geordie to help me.

- Don't you think he's helped enough?
- Please.

I'm going to play for my
pendant and clear my debt.

I don't need you two
sniping at each other.

Now, what are we
going to do about Archie?

You won't have to do anything.
He's so busy with that croft,

he wouldn't know it
if the house burned down.

Good!
So, let's get to work.

No, Hector, no, no.
Leave it.

Leave it.
I'll do it.

There we are.
Easy.

That cheeky-
that's my car!

Good evening,
Mr. Murdo.

Old MacDonald's
Farm, eh?

Very nice.

This is my husband, Hector.
Geordie, you know.

You take in
the homeless.

That's very noble.

These are my good friends,
Hugh, Benny.

Would you gentlemen care for
something to eat, after your journey?

Maybe later, eh?

Let's get straight down
to business, shall we?

Gentlemen, do
please follow me.

Have you fallen on
somebody's fear, Geordie?

I'm very lucky. Mrs.
MacDonald's a good friend.

She's gonna need a bit
of luck herself tonight.

I've been looking for
a place in the country.

Here, Jimmy,
hang that up.

Coathooks
are over there.

I'm not
the butler.

Would you gentlemen
care for some whiskey?

Not for me, thanks. I'd
like to keep a clear head.

Aye, yes, please.

Thanks.

Oh, we do have
cards already.

Well, your house,
my deck.

If it's all
the same to you?

Oh, this is exciting.

It's so long since we've
had friends round for cards.

Right... ante is �10,
under the gun,

there's a straddle option
to 40 quid,

check and raise
is permitted,

the maximum bet
is the size of the pot

or 1,000 quid,
whichever is less,

the game's table stakes, the
minimum buy-in is five grand, okay?

Don't worry about me.
I'll try and keep up.

What's going on?

Molly's new
business plan-

Glenbogle Casino.

Only don't
tell Archie.

I just came
to get us some food.

Help yourself-
to anything you see.

That's not enough
for a growing boy.

You need to keep
your strength up.

What do you have
in mind?

Well...

there's a rave, up at
Glenmorrison at the weekend.

And I was thinking
that you and I could...

go and...

get sweaty?

I'd love to.

But I don't know if it
sounds like Katrina's scene.

Katrina?

Yeah,
me and her are...

sorry, I thought Duncan
might have told you.

No.
No, he didn't.

Katrina?!

( chuckling )

Gets about a bit,
that one!

I'm sorry?

Oh, nothing.

Is there something
I should know about?

Or some... one?

Look! Forget
I said anything, okay?

- Is it Duncan?
- Oh, please!

She has got
some taste.

Come on, Lexie, you can't go
dropping hints all over the place.

I just thought there was
something going on between-

her and Archie.

Obviously, I was
imagining things.

Archie?

Molly: Well, Hugh, I'll raise you...

25.

And 50.

Murdo: See it.

Any raise?

Why not?

Another 50.
( giggles )

This is fun, isn't it?

See ya.

Queens and tens.

Aces and jacks.

Doesn't that mean I win?
( giggles )

Gosh, I'm doing rather well,
aren't I?

Beginner's luck,
I suppose.

Hmmm.

This place looks
almost cozy.

You and Fergal have
done a fantastic job.

Yeah, he's a good man
to have around.

Yeah, he is.

( sheep bleating )

Listen...

I'm sorry about
what I said earlier.

About you trying
to spoil things.

I know
you wouldn't.

It's funny, no matter
how much coal I put on,

it never seems
to get any warmer.

Maybe it's the spirit
of Kilfedder.

Kilfedder?

The man who used
to live here.

He was the Glenbogle
matchmaker.

You mean this place
used to be a dating agency?

Yeah.

People used to come
from miles around

to get advice
and find partners.

But his family don't still
live in Glenbogle, do they?

He had no family.

- He never married.
- Oh, ironic.

There was a girl,
apparently...

they were childhood
sweethearts.

But they fell out.

No one knows why.

Then years later,

her father decided
to marry her off to a-

rich Glasgow
shopkeeper.

Kilfedder
arranged it.

Even though
he still loved her.

He thought
she'd gone off him.

And he wanted her
to be happy, I suppose.

But it didn't
work out.

Her husband
dumped her,

and she died
in a poorhouse.

They found a letter to
Kilfedder in her belongings,

and sent it on to him.

It said she'd always
loved him,

and that...

it broke her heart
that he'd abandoned her.

He died here.

Look at me,
I'm crying.

It's all
ancient history.

Katrina, look, I-

look at the year, 1901.

I'd better go.

I'll see you
tomorrow, anyway.

See you.

Oh, look!
There he is!

Mr. Total Recall.

I suppose you think
that was funny.

Sorry. Whatever it is, I've forgotten.

Like you forgot
to tell me

that Fergal was mixed up
with Goldilocks!

You let me
ask him out!

I feel about this big. Do
you know what that feels like?

I should do.

You do it to me
often enough.

Hector,
this is lunacy.

Has Molly ever
even played poker?

Once or twice.
Monte Carlo, Las Vegas.

She qualified for a
professional tournament once,

but it clashed with
the Chelsea Flower Show.

Man: two.

Three, please.

Two.

Two for the dealer.

How did you end up working
for a creep like that?

Not many openings
for hard men these days.

And no self-respect
on the dole.

Can you have self-respect
working for a guy like that?

I do an honest
day's work.

We can't all graft
for nice folks like yours.

So Murdo's honest,
is he?

He's a good card player.

And he plays to win.

Nah, he plays
to fleece people.

I've never made anyone
sit down with him,

but I've made them pay their
debts when they stand up.

Raise you 50.

Mm-hmm.
And 100.

Too steep for me.

Murdo: Maybe you should
pull out, your ladyship.

You've squandered your lead.
Three grand down.

Don't feel
bad about it.

It's a class act-
"lady of the manor. "

Drew me in at the start,
but you see,

every time you bluff...

the corner
of your mouth goes up.

The "naughty schoolgirl" look
was a dead giveaway.

Well, some people smile,
Mr. Murdo,

and some people talk.
Raise you 100.

( chips clatter )

( chips clatter )

You think I'm bluffing?

1,000.

That's your limit,
your ladyship.

Time for some collateral.

( chips clatter )

Full house.
Kings over tens.

Aces on jacks.

You know, I'm not really
a pendant sort of guy.

But I do know
this lap dancer,

it'd just fit
right in her navel.

Looks like
we're quits.

Unless you want a chance
to win it back.

Oh, great! If we can
both get started-

actually, I wanted to
discuss my job description.

Look, it's great of you
to help out-

yeah, helping with
the croft, no problem.

And the ranger part,
that's fine too.

But I draw the line
at playing the schmuck

for you and your
girlfriend.

What are you
talking about?

I'm talking about
you and Katrina.

I'm talking about
this lover's charade,

where you have me planting
trees, and she acts all surprised.

We are not lovers.

I'm not blind, Archie.
I've just seen you two together.

Fergal, there is nothing
going on between me and Katrina.

We are just friends.
She helped me out with a grant,

and the accounts, and she was
there for me when Justine left.

- Really?
- And I helped her get over Alan.

And how exactly
did you do that?

You... haven't-

no! We've never spent
the night together.

Well, hardly ever.

There was that one time
when the car broke down...

- it's a long story.
- Yeah, some other time.

Thanks for putting me
straight.

Fergal...
what about the-

oh, brilliant!

Molly:
Just look at him!

Smug little slug
in a suit.

Molly, this has
gone far enough.

He's got my pendant,
the one you gave me.

Then the debt
is settled.

Darling, let it go. The
pendant doesn't really matter.

It matters to me.

I know he's cheating,
but I don't know how.

Molly, this is not
about the pendant.

Murdo wants you angry,
and desperate to break even,

so he can take you
to the cleaners.

- Murdo ruined you!
- And I don't want that happening to you.

You're at
your depth.

Hector's right.
Get out now, please?

I suppose it would be
the sensible thing to do,

- I just wish...
- what?!

I just wish I felt
like being sensible.

Molly!

I'm really sorry
about this, Hector.

Don't be, old man,
you did your best.

Besides, she might
still pull it off.

Not against Murdo,
she won't, no.

I'm telling you,
the man's a mind reader.

Impossible. I've lived
with Molly for 40 years,

- she's still a mystery to me.
- Not to Murdo, she's not.

I'll tell you, he can see
things nobody else can.

I, uh...
I spoke to Archie.

He told me about
the two of you.

Told you what?

How you dumped
your boyfriend for him,

that night in the road,
in the car,

you know,
stuff like that.

Are you serious?

Katrina, I saw you
and him together.

Doing what?!

Look, whatever he's told you,
it's not true.

There's nothing
between him and me.

There never
has been.

I want
to believe you.

Then do!

Look, everything's changed
since you've been around.

Things are so-

open.

I'm tired of people
not saying what they feel.

Archie's so mixed up.

I mean, one night
he came here to dinner,

and was trying to say
something and couldn't,

and then we
nearly kissed,

and I spilt
wine in his lap-

when was this?

Oh, ages ago.
Weeks ago.

I'm sure he told you
about it.

No.

He never mentioned it
at all.

Fergal.

Fergal...

three, please.

Two.

Murdo: Stay.

Dealer takes three.

Can you open?

Yes, I can-
for �10,000.

Ha! That's way
over the pot!

If you're scared
to owe me that much,

I'll settle
for my pendant.

You said yourself it
doesn't really suit you.

Are you sure you want
to go through with this?

Right.

The bet is �10,000

on this hand.

Full house,
aces on tens.

Sorry.

Tell you what.

Double or quits.

I'll pay you next week.

Stitches?

( door opens )

Stitches, the lady's
trying to wriggle out

of her obligations-
oh, sorry-

noblesse oblige.

Stitches: The terms are cash or goods...

right now.

Now just hold on
a wee minute.

It's all right,
Golly.

Hector: well.

Time to settle up.
You'll take a check?

I'm allergic
to rubber.

If that check bounces,
it's not my problem,

it's his.
10,000, please.

- Made out to Mr. Murdo?
- Nah, just leave the name blank.

Certainly.

Where did I put
that blasted pen?

Oh!

You've seen
one of these?

Frightfully clever.

Hector: I say,

these cards of yours
valuable?

Look, they're marked
with ultraviolet ink.

After all
I've done for you,

I should have known.
So much for nobility.

I'm taking my check
and I'm going.

I don't think so.

Suit yourself.
Stitches.

Hey!

U.V. sensitive?

Very neat.

Let's sort this out
later, shall we?

Let's not.

On behalf of Mr. Murdo,
I'd like to apologise.

You'll all
be repaid...

in full.

What?

It's bad enough

you've had me running
after you like your mother.

I knew
you were trash,

but I thought at least
you played straight.

All of these people
will get their money back,

but what about
my reputation?

Eh? What about
my self-respect?

How are you going
to repay me?

Ah-ah-ah.

My car,
I believe.

How am I going
to get home?

Take my van.

The rates are
very reasonable.

Clear out, or I'll
set the dogs on you!

They may lick you
to death.

( van starts )

( van backfiring )

Hello, Archie. We've just had
a few friends round for cards.

How's the cottage?

Cottage?

It's a disaster zone.

Oh... well, I'm sure
you're starving.

There's plenty of food
in the kitchen.

( sniffs )

Mrs. MacDonald.
Mr. MacDonald.

You've a lovely house,

but you should take more
care of your possessions.

Yes, we will.
Thank you.

"Kidnapped,"
by Robert Louis Stevenson.

A rare, illustrated
first edition.

Some dunderhead left it
in the toilet.

Ah- right.
Thanks.

The culprit will be
severely dealt with.

Anyhow...
good night.

Thank you.
And good night.

I am so stupid.

I am so, so stupid.

( tearfully ) I nearly lost everything.

Only the necklace,
my darling.

You still
would have had me.

Not that I'd fetch
as much.

Oh, Hector.

Anybody home?

Mr. MacDonald,
I'm Helen Reavey

from the Council
Heritage Committee.

Hello. I'm sorry about my appearance.

I've been up
all night.

Oh, don't worry.
You know Katrina?

- hi.
- so, this tableau...?

Yeah, please.
Please go in.

- Katrina?
- I've seen it.

Fergal came round
last night.

I know.

I can't believe you made up
all those stories about us.

What stories?

Maybe he got the wrong end of the stick.

Yeah, right.

I just told him we were
friends, that's all.

Well, then you lied,
'cause we're not.

Well, what did you
want me to say?

I think
I've seen enough.

Frankly, Mr. MacDonald, I'm surprised.

I was expecting a tableau
of life in a stately home.

Yeah, I'm sorry.
We had a bit of-

but this...

this has real...
texture,

real atmosphere.

I mean,
you can smell it.

- It does stink a bit.
- oh, no.

It just makes
the whole thing...

so intense!

If it was up to me, I'd
authorise a grant right now.

Oh, that's great!

What do you mean,
if it was up to you?

Katrina's the other
delegate, so it's her call.

So, what
do you think?

What do I think?

I think it's not
just clever, it's cunning.

It'd fool anyone.

It certainly
fooled me.

There you go,
Mr. MacDonald.

That's what you wanted
to hear, isn't it?

Ahem...

so if I put �5 to win
on "Lucky Straight"

in the 2:15...

and roll your winnings
over to "Dozy Bumpkin"

in the 3:30...

and it wins... I could clear
5,000! That's marvelous!

What are you two
cooking up?

- Just a harmless flutter with my bookie,
darling. - May I?

I think we've had
enough harmless flutters

for the time being,
don't you?

These reformed gamblers,
they're so puritanical.

It's not as if I've got
any money to put on a horse.

- Excuse me.
- Oh, Katrina, hello.

- Can I give you this?
- What is it?

A grant check
from the heritage committee.

Don't you want
to give it to Archie?

- Sorry, I have to run.
- Thanks very much.

Ahh-

let her go,
Arch.

There's plenty more
fish on the beach.

Talk to me.
Just one minute.

Like I said, son...

you lose.

( theme music playing )

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