All language subtitles for Monarch Of The Glen s01e07.eng

( birds chirping )

Match day temperament-

I've never had it.

I'm not sure
I'm ready, Golly.

I was the same my first time in charge.

But you
listen up, son.

Walk tall,
walk straight,

And look the world
right in the eye.

Right, that's good.

Who said that?

One of the giants
of celtic culture.

What's his name-
Robert the Bruce?

Robbie Burns?

Val Doonican.

Katrina: First of all, I would
like to thank the returning officer

And all those who have made
this election and count

Such a smooth
and efficient one.

My victory today
marks a defining moment

In Scottish politics.

Who's Val Doonican?

( theme music playing )

( telephone ringing )

Hello. Morning.
I'm just on my way.

What?

Oh no.

No, if you're sick,
you're sick.

Don't worry,
I'll think of something.

You take care
of yourself.

Bye.

Lexie: I don't quite get
the point in this, Arch.

You're supposed to be the expert
in the menu department.

First course,
fresh Scottish salmon.

Second course,
fresh Scottish grouse.

You've been looking forward
to seeing your posh tottie.

Oh! There's one!

Lexie, be quiet
or I'll send you home.

Sorry, dad.

I won't take you racing
out to London either.

Whoa!

Ah! I love the smell
of cordite in the morning.

You know, I can remember
my first Glorious 12th

Like it was yesterday.

August, 1938.
Old house was packed.

Bishops,
bandleaders,

King of Bulgaria,
prime minister too.

Old Neville Chamberlain came here
on his way to suck up to Hitler.

Hector, we need
to get going.

The lad's got to leave
with the birds in an hour.

Shall I start
the beaters off?

No, no, no, Duncan.
I'll do that.

Here...

You take these.

Morning.
First customer, eh?

Sorry?

You've come to vote.

No need to ask who for.

Might as well.

- A race you say?
- Yes.

With dead grouse
as the competitors?

Could you possibly direct me
towards the point of this exercise?

It's organized
by a food magazine-

The first restaurant to
serve grouse to a customer

On the first day
of the shooting season

Wins �5,000 and a feature
in the next edition.

What an extraordinarily
stupid idea.

What do you mean-
food magazine?

It would be great publicity
for the restaurant.

The business I'm supposed to
be running with my girlfriend?

Meanwhile, smooth running
of the household is disrupted.

I can't wait to get cracking in
a proper kitchen for a change.

The last time Lexie
went AWOL-

When my Aunt Maggie had
the temerity to expire suddenly?

Golly prepared dinner.

He presented me
with an omelette

That looked and tasted
like a polystyrene tile.

Breakfast.
Eat.

- You're a poppet.
- I try to please.

And you do.

You worried?

- I just hope everything goes okay
with Archie in the- - of course it will.

Two cooks in the kitchen-
it'll be a breeze.

I didn't quite mean that.

Listen, Lennie,
these last couple of months,

I'd never
have got by without you.

I mean it.
I'm very grateful.

No worries...
But thanks.

Delicious.

Archie, I was just
going to call you.

- Listen- - mustn't
canvass voters on their way

To exercise their
democratic prerogative-

Even if it is just
a council election.

Archie MacDonald.

Thanks.

Archie, I need your help.
Maureen's let me down.

She was gonna help me
organize the day.

- "Get the vote out" and that.
- I can't. Sorry.

You can't?
Or you won't?

Katrina, I won't be
here. I'm going to London.

Oh- you going
to see Justine?

I will be seeing Justine.

Well, have a terrific time.

Thanks.

I'll just have to find
somebody else then, won't I?

Look, I've said
I'm sorry.

Could you tell me how
you voted, please?

Why would I
tell you that?

It's standard procedure
in elections.

It helps the parties keep
check on how they're doing.

No, I'm not gonna tell you how
I voted. That's my business.

You didn't vote for me,
did you!?

( helicopter whirring )

( silent )

- Good luck, my boy.
- And you.

- Smash the opposition, okay.
- Yes!

( horn honks )

Arch, isn't this fab?

Yeah, great.

( silent )

Ah, may the best man win.

Hector: I wish you all happy hunting

And leave you in the very
capable hands of Duncan here.

Thanks Hect-

Mr. MacDonald.

Gentlemen,
I earnestly hope...

That you have very good
sport here today.

There's loads of birds
out there.

"The hills are alive,"
you might say.

( dog whimpers )

Anyway, if you're ready...

We'll mosey on out.

Well done, Duncan.
That was jolly good.

Now give them hell.

I earnestly hope.

Kilwillie, I thought you
had some fool election today.

Democracy's important,
but not that important.

Anyway, the political
machine's well-oiled.

What with?
Your filthy lucre?

Nothing so gross!

A few cases
of Kilwillie old malt.

Kilwillie.
That's corruption.

No, my dear.
That's politics.

So, shall we
to the butts?

( helicopter whirring )

Look, everything's dead wee.

- Confident then?
- Publicly, I'm unbeatable.

Privately,
I'm gonna get smashed.

Morning,
Mrs. McCann.

There's one vote
I didn't get.

- If I get beaten here-
- you won't.

You've done your canvassing,
haven't you?

Then it's all about getting the vote
out on the day. Show me your returns.

- Don't you have to get on your way?
- No. Why?

I thought you said you were
on important party business.

So I am. But I prefer to
think it's mostly private.

You mean you came
all this way to...

Yes, to help you.

Oh, Alan, thank you.

I like to think of myself
as your political mentor,

And of you in a-

Well, rather more
intimate role.

Now, let's go and win
this election.

Right.

We're making good time.

He's got all
the early voters.

How exactly is the intellectual
giant in plus fours?

Kilwillie?

He's smarter
than he looks.

He's diversified
into luxury foods.

Everything from whisky
marmalade to venison pate.

- He employs a lot of people.
- Who'll all vote for him.

Still, looks from these
like you might pick up

Most of the
O.A.P. Vote.

- I'm pleased about that.
- It's often the way.

Old ladies usually
admire female candidates.

Old blokes just
fancy them.

As long as they're not
complete dogs, of course.

- Alan!
- Oh, sorry.

Gratuitous use of
politically incorrect term.

So, when are the oldies going to vote?

- Most of them said they were going to go tonight.
- That's no good.

Tonight they'll be
watching "Gardener's World"

Or fretting about
the mass murderers

Stalking the mean streets of Glenbogle.

You've got to get them
voting during the day.

I can't get them lifts
during the day.

People round here
are really busy just now.

It's the 12th of August.

Oh, aye. Mass murder
of another kind.

So what are we
gonna do?

Alan.

No.

Ahoy, lads.

( helicopter shudders )

( alarms beeping )

Lexie: Archie?

What's wrong?

She's got a bit
of a sore throat.

I think I'll take her
down for a minute.

Maybe just have a look at
her, clean out a pipe or two.

Hector: Well, Kilwillie
- god's in his heaven,

Four dozen brace of birds
in the basket,

And all's well
with the world.

( cell phone plays
"William Tell Overture" )

For heaven's sake, turn that
infernal contraption off.

Sorry, old man.

I've got to stay in radio
contact with the nerve center

Of the mighty Kilwillie empire. Hello?

Yeah.

What?

I'm on my way.

- What are you doing now?
- Crisis looms.

The barbarians are
hammering at the gates.

Couldn't they have had the
decency to choose another day?

I need the help of an
old pal and class ally.

- ( helicopter whirring )
- stupid map.

( alarm continues beeping )

What's he gonna do,
ring the A.A.?

You've ruined me strawberry
surprise. It's full of dust and grass.

It wouldn't be full
of strawberries, would it?

- Are you Scottish?
- What d'you want me to do? Dance an eightsome reel?

I can't believe this.
Excuse me.

Could you tell us
where we are, please?

You're asking me? What's this, then, D
- Day for the jocks?

Where's the nearest
railway station?

Ah, Carlisle.
40 miles that way.

God's own country,
60 miles that way.

You'd think they'd put a sign up,
wouldn't you? "Knackered bridge ahead. "

What are we
gonna do, Arch?

We need a car. We'll have
to hire one or something.

- Or get a lift.
- Some turnip told me that was the short cut to the motorway.

Oh, no.

What better way to keep
the fish and game cold?

Anyway, you got
a better idea?

We just thought you might
appreciate a lift, Mrs. McGregor.

Thank you, dear,
that's very kind of you.

Oh my goodness me.

Good morning, madam. I'm
your driver, Freddie Jorg.

Good morning.

Tell me, have you ever ridden
on a Harley Davidson before?

- Oh no.
- Mrs. McGregor!

Hello, my dear.

You are looking well,
I must say.

And getting bonnier with every
passing day, if I may venture.

We were just popping down to
the village in the old charabanc.

Can we convey you in that
general direction?

That's very
kind of you,

But ever since
I saw "Easy Rider,"

I've wanted to burn
rubber on one of these.

( motorcycle starts )

So there's petrol, damaged
stock, loss of sales-

Loss of sales? Geordie,
you've not made any.

Even if we were in a Ferrari, we still
wouldn't make it in time for lunch.

Time, travel expenses.
Let's say 300.

No, let's say 150.

Freddie: No, every year
the club organizes a tour

And we all take a week off work to go
and do wheelies in some far-off place.

We're very grateful
for your help.

If there's anything we can do to reimburse your expenses

Oh, not at all,
wouldn't hear of it.

No, we'll simply finish off
the list and then be on our way.

We want to make Loch Ness
before teatime.

That would have looked a bit odd
on the election expenses return.

"Petrol money for Bank of
England Harley Davidson Club. "

Gloves off, I think.

- If they will march into Poland.
- Quite.

There are some things up
with which one shall not put.

They'll all melt.
It's such a waste.

- Just great.
- Oh, Saturn Rockets!

Oh, I've not had these
since I was a wee girl.

( ice cream bell playing )

Justine: That's right, shot
this morning in the Highlands.

Thank you, sir.

- See you this evening. Bye.
- How's it looking?

Packed. Word's got round
the exiles, I think.

- This, er, Lesley.
- Lexie.

She is only gonna do her
nauseating national dish, right?

Because you've never
cooked grouse before.

Yes, that's the arrangement.

And you're sure
she won't meddle?

'cause I won't have it.
You know me, I'm a pussycat,

But if anyone comes into my
kitchen and starts messing around...

It's not gonna happen,
trust me.

Anyway, you'll like her.

She's very nice...
In an up front sort of way.

( telephone ringing )

Good morning, Flying Fish.

Archie,
are you nearly here?

What?

Where?

Archie.

We're all okay,
in case you were wondering.

- Yes, Justine, I know that very well.
- That his missus, is it?

- She wants to be.
- I appreciate that.

Starting as she
means to go on?

Why don't you tell her
to get stuffed,

Get off the phone,
get some housework done.

What did they say?

Nothing,
I'll tell you later.

So what will you do
about lunch?

What I normally do
when you let me down.

Hope Lennie can pull
a rabbit out of the hat.

In this case,
almost literally.

Don't say anything.

Just get into that kitchen
and do whatever you have to do.

"What did the fireman's wife
get for christmas?"

I don't know. What did the
fireman's wife get for christmas?

A ladder
in her stocking.

- So where are we now?
- Watford.

The ruby in the belly button
of Hertfordshire.

Oh, I feel a bit sick.

Hector:
What are they doing?

Kilwillie:
Not much, they're talking, eh?

Typical.
Let me have a look.

Fascinating reading,
are they?

Some folks study the Bible,
others pore over mucky books.

Me, I go for
canvassing returns.

I could never get you this interested
in me when we were together.

Maybe I have repented
at leisure.

Hector: They're getting
out, they're getting out.

Kilwillie:
What's he doing?

Getting some mineral water. Typical.

Let me see.

Oh, well done.

It's a bottle
of Kilwillie Spring.

( scoffs )

Still not here?

( car horn honks )

( music playing )

Archie:
We're here.

Lexie:
Hi, Justine.

- This is Mr. Slurpy. He gave us a lift down.
- You all right, pet?

Hi, would you like to take
that through to the kitchen?

You're Lesley, eh?

Lexie. "X" marks the spot. And you are?

Lennie. Head chef.
Come into my kitchen.

Nice place, Archie.

I painted me mom's lav
that color.

- You've changed everything.
- No, I haven't.

Yes, you have-

The paintings,
the color scheme,

The tablecloths.
It's completely different.

Don't be ridiculous.
The customers like it.

And my aquarium.
Where is my aquarium?

- It had to go.
- Why?

One of the piranhas bit Terry's hand
when he was cleaning out the tank.

- What have you done with them?
- The wound went septic.

- Terry had to be off work for a week.
- Where are my fish?

- Lennie let them go.
- What? Oh, not down the-

- No!
- Well, where?

Just by London Bridge.

It was really neat
the way they swam off.

I know it wasn't the most
ecologically sound thing to do,

- But they were free at last,
the open sea. - Lennie- shut up.

We'd better get going if we're going to
be ready for this evening's performance.

- I can't believe you've done this.
- And I can't believe

- You walk in and start throwing your weight about.
- Justine.

We can't sort
this out now.

There's too much
to do before tonight.

It'll have to wait.

Alan: So that's the wrinklies sorted...

Young moms just about done,
working men'll vote tonight.

- What about the unemployed?
- What about them?

You'll never get on in politics
if you take that attitude, dear.

- You must at least pretend to care.
- You mean like you do?

We haven't had many
of them voting yet.

- Most of them are working today.
- They're unemployed!

Casual work. They're
beating up on the hill.

- I beg your pardon?
- For the grouse shooting.

Aaah, the bizarre
feudal relic.

- Speaking of which...
- Don't talk about Molly like that, she's my friend.

- Oh, hang on.
- Wha-what?

- Voter at 11:00.
- Oh, it's only Molly.

Oh. Hello, Katrina.

Oh, good afternoon, dear.
Kilwillie.

Alan.

See you in a moment,
everyone.

Right-o.

- Those the grouses, are they?
- Grice.

- Eh?
- The plural of grouse is grice.

- It's like mouse and mice.
- Oh, right.

- ( chuckles )
- stink a bit, don't they?

And these-
farm salmon, are they?

They are not!

Wild atlantic salmon,
caught this very morning

In the crystal waters of the River Bogle
- by your boss.

I don't like it when salmon
gets this big. Taste's gone.

Lennie, you're talking
100% fish droppings.

- Archie.
- Sorry, "boss," just expressing a professional opinion.

There's a lot of
paperwork to get through.

I could chop them
into steaks, I suppose.

Okay. I think the flavor's more delicate

If they're cut into
fillets, myself. But it's-

Why don't you leave the
delicate flavors to me, sweetie,

While you get to grips
with the grice, eh?

Shall I chin him
now or later?

- Hey, Geordie.
- What?

"What did the grape say
when the gorilla stood on it?"

I don't know, Lexie.

What did the grape say when
the gorilla stood on it?

Nothing. It just gave
a little "wine. "

Oh, Molly,
dear.

Be with you
in a minute.

What are you doing
consorting with the enemy?

What are you boys doing here? I
thought you were out playing popguns.

A good candidate's got
to keep his finger

On the pulse of the
electoral process, Molly.

Thank his supporters
and so on.

I trust you, er...

- No, of course, mustn't ask.
- What?

Well, that I...
Well, you know...

Don't be ridiculous, man.
Do you honestly think

A wife of mine would
vote for a woman?

Don't you worry your little
bald head, Kilwillie.

I voted according
to my conscience.

Thank you so much, Molly.

Well, see you boys later.

And don't stay cooped up in the
motor all day, get some fresh air.

She's a wonderful girl.

- You're a lucky dog, Hector.
- Yeah.

Well, I did it.

For the first time in my life,
I exercised my democratic rights

According to my own
convictions

Rather than my husband's
prejudices.

I put a cross
against your name.

Really, Molly?
Thank you.

See, I told you.

( exhales )
truly liberating.

And the ladies
in my lottery syndicate

Were very taken
with your leaflets.

Tell me,
are you winning?

I hope so.
We were just wondering

What time are the beaters
on the hill finishing?

About 6:00,
I should think.

Plenty of time
to vote, then.

No, no, hold on.
Golly always lays on

A ceilidh for them and
the other estate workers.

Whiskey flows
till midnight.

Archie counting:
... 20, 140 and 50.

Thanks, Archie.
Top lad.

Thanks for having
such a cheerful face.

You're a canny-looking
lad yourself.

I'll shake your hand-
I'll be off.

- Thanks, son.
- Justine: Archie?

Here. Take this.

I was gonna give it to
Waltzing Matilda in there

- But I'd rather you had it.
- Thanks, pet.

It's ages since I've slurped the
old fire water. Thanks very much.

Pop round later on and I'll
give you a grouse buttie.

Thanks.

If this is democracy,
you can keep it.

I've never been
so bored in my life.

Voting is a bit slow,
I must say.

That's because people
have better things to do,

As have you and me!

This is a terrible waste
of the Glorious 12th.

The opposition does seem
rather inactive.

Perhaps we could spare
just a couple of hours.

Splendid.

Katrina:
Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Go.

Man: Katrina, Mrs. MacDonald.
What are you doing down here?

- We've come to take your jobs, Gary.
- Huh?

- What she means is that-
- we need you to go and vote.

But we're working.
We're about to-

- We're going to do it for you.
- What, you?

Come on, Gary,
it's hardly rocket science.

Walking up a hillside,
waving a stick

And screaming obscenities
at flocks of birds.

Duncan:
One, two, three.

Are you there, guys?

This is
more like it.

Splendid.

That's it, girls.

Keep a steady pace.

( women cooing like birds )

Keep apart.

Canny.

This is the profit
and loss account for June.

We made a thumping
great deficit?

No. Don't you remember we make
the loan repayments every quarter?

Once that figure there is
amortized over the other months,

We were in profit-
just.

Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot.
I'm a bit rusty.

That's good.
Great, in fact.

Thank you, o master.

It hasn't been easy, but
everyone's pulled together.

Yeah.

Oh, Justine,
I miss this place.

Do you?
Really?

And you.

Well, get yourself
back down here then.

I will.

I will.

It's showtime.

( diners chatting )

What can I get you?

Everyone wants
the grouse.

How's it going?

The oven's not hot enough
and I can't get it higher.

- I told him.
- I'm using the others.

- The birds aren't cooking.
- This is the simmering oven.

- Lennie, what the hell are you playing at?
- Come on, Archie.

- Stop messing about and give Lexie an oven
to cook in! - You listen to me, mate...

Come on, there are
customers waiting.

Oh!

- Watch out!
- You stupid cow.

What did you call me? You
puffed up bag of antipodean wind.

- That is it, I've had enough! - And it's
high time someone stuck a pin in you.

- Come on, guys.
- An accident, these things happen.

No more favors, Justine.
She goes or I walk.

I mean it. It's my kitchen!
I will not have her in it!

- Oh, for heaven's sake.
- That's just because I showed you up

- For the talentless ego merchant
that you are. - Who's it to be? Her or me?

Okay.
I'm sorry, Lexie.

Justine, this is not
your decision.

Yes, it is.
Pick those birds up.

Someone's got to
eat them in a minute.

- Justine, we run this restaurant
together- - no we don't!

We used to until you went off to your
Highland fastness to play chieftain.

Now I run it! With a lot of
help and support from Lennie.

What kind of help
and support would that be?

Maybe the same kind as you
get from Lexie. Or Katrina.

Or whichever other Highland lassie
you're tossing the caber with.

Look, Justine,
we are partners.

We used to be, Archie.

But maybe,
as the old song says,

It's time to call
the whole thing off.

- ( door slams )
- evening.

Excuse me, pet.

( slurring )
you know, my dad...

Used to build ships.

I sell ice cream.

Mr. Slurpy...

At your service.

Is this like
dinner theatre?

Marvelous day. Well done,
Duncan. Jolly good show.

Thanks very much,
Hector.

Right.
I must be off.

Compose my
victory speech.

Jolly good beaters
you found, too.

I tell you what...
Give them this fiver,

Tell them to have
a drink on me.

That'll be just the one drink
between all of them, will it?

Guys! Guys!
Hey, boys.

Aye?

Yes.

You can say that again.

But don't.

I've got
a terrible headache.

I suppose I could go back
in there and apologize.

- Say it was all my fault.
- Archie, son,

It's around these small
moments whole lives hinge.

What?

I speak from
experience, man.

12 years since I caught
the bus to Blyth...

I was daft enough to sit next
to a lass who smiled at us.

If only I'd had another
half in the "fat ox"

Or the bus had been late, or I'd sat

In the back with my
"Chronicle," like I usually did,

I'd have been spared a
lifetime of quiet misery

With a large woman

With a very short
temper.

I see.

If I was you,
I'd stay where you are,

Have some fun
with that Lexie lass.

I tell you she fancies
the posh pants off you.

Right, that's everything.
Next stop, Euston.

Like a well-oiled
machine, it was.

Well, I'm glad the nice
gentlemen had a good day.

Always been good tippers,
the Norwegians.

I'll trouble you
for my share.

And I'll have my
binoculars back as well.

You be a good lad
in the next 12 months

And I'll let you play with
the train set next year, too.

Sweetie?

Here, take it.
You did well.

Val Doonican would
be proud of you.

"walk tall,
walk straight... "

- "and look the world right in the eye. "
- bingo.

- This is it.
- For both of us?

It was the only one
they had left.

It's okay,
I'll go on top.

Oh, bunk, that is.

Should have left
that tequila alone.

I'm starving, and all that
food we brought down...

Don't worry,
I nicked these and...

The most expensive bottle
of red wine in your cellar.

"and they dined on mince
and slices of quince... "

So, the husband says, "I've
just been talking to the milkman,

And he says he's slept
with every woman

In this street except one. "
and the wife says-

"I bet it's that stuck up
cow from number 17."

I absolutely hate it
when you do that.

Here's to you,

And the start of a
glittering political career.

Thanks, Alan.

For everything.

Isn't democracy
wonderful?

I love being a carnivore, don't you?

It's a bit overdone,
but it's not bad.

Right.
Turn around.

I'm going to retire.
It's been a long day.

- Stop looking.
- I'm not looking.

I am. Oh!

My, Archie MacDonald-
Calvin Kleins.

I have to get back
to Edinburgh.

- Aye.
- What time's the count start?

8:00 in the morning.

- Why don't you...
- Why don't I...

After you.

I was just gonna say,
why don't you stay?

See it through
to the bitter end?

Okay, thanks. But I'd
better get my head down.

I've been up since
the crack of dawn.

I'll get you a duvet.

Okay, I'm listening.

What's there
to say, Archie?

- What's there to say?
- I don't know.

Just feels like
it's gone,

The dream we had.

It feels like someone's taken
a baseball bat to it.

And maybe that someone
is you.

- Hello?
- I hear what you're saying.

Don't say that.

I hate it
when people say that.

They mean, "I hear what
you're saying

But I'm going to do
naff all about it. "

No, I just meant-

( phone disconnects )

Hello? Hello?

I'm sorry, Arch.

I bet you could
do with a cuddle.

- I know I could.
- Lexie, no.

- It's okay.
- This isn't wise.

A cuddle, I said.
We've got our jim-jams on.

Anyway, I'm freezing. It's like
camp three on everest up there.

- Your feet, they're freezing, Lexie!
- Move over!

There...

That's better.

You know, I feel kinda
sorry for Justine.

I know she's got
her faults but...

Everybody's got their
faults, haven't they?

And you've got
your faults.

Even I've got faults.

I just feel
bad for her.

I mean, she's losing
her man, isn't she?

Maybe.

Hey, Arch...

What did one ghost
say to the other?

Dunno.

Do you believe in people?

We just never really had a
chance to talk it through...

See how we feel,
reach common ground.

That's important,
don't you think?

It's okay, I always have
this effect on women in bed.

( ringing )

Hello.

Hello?

I'm sorry, I didn't think, I was asleep.

Whoever it was
rang off anyway.

I wonder who it was.

Something wrong?

Can't sleep.

Too excited.
Too nervous.

You'll walk it.
Just trust your uncle Alan.

You can be very sweet
when you put your mind to it.

Is that supposed to be
a compliment?

It's the only one
you're getting.

So why don't you stop
messing about and kiss me?

What d'you fancy,
hot chocolate or Horlicks?

It doesn't matter.

Just put some bromide
in it, will you?

( moans )

( giggles )

- Lexie!
- Who did you think it was?

- We can't do this.
- You're not enjoying it,

- Is that what you're trying to tell me?
- No, but...

- What are you doing?
- Where are we?

I want to know
where it happened.

Penrith!

You know, that's where
Bonnie Prince Charlie

Fought his last battle
in England.

- You're not getting back in this bed.
- Oh, come on.

No, think how you'll feel
in the morning.

Oh, trust you to go
all manly and decisive

At this stage
in the proceedings.

Hector: But I've got
work to do this morning.

Surely your golf column in the "Horse
and Hound" can wait a few hours, Hector.

But where
are we going?

To the count
for the election.

Katrina and Kilwillie.

Oh, yes, election, yeah.

I forgot to vote
for the blighter, you know.

I've a feeling
about today, Hector.

We're standing
on the threshold of history.

Centuries of oppression
are about to end.

You're not suggesting you voted
for that girl, are you?

Hector, dear,

There are days in life
in which one is the fly,

And rare, magical moments

In which one is
at long last the windscreen.

- Come on.
- What windscreen?

Has Duncan been messing about
with that Land Rover again?

Okay?

I'm never mixing red
wine and tequila again.

Listen,
about last night...

Thanks very much.

- My pleasure.
- No, it wasn't.

Anyway,
you're a gentleman.

Showing your breeding,
Archie MacDonald.

Still, it wasn't
a bad snog, was it?

No, Lexie, it was
a damn fine snog.

Maybe we'll get
another chance-

When I'm not half pished.

Come on, let's go home.

I feel like we're
in that old movie.

What was it?
"Short Encounter. "

Man: Have you any idea when
we might expect a result?

Can you take us to the
community center first, please?

You don't mind,
do you?

Dougal henderson:
214.

Angus Archibald
Kilwillie:

782.

Katrina Finlay...

1000...

( cheering )

...And 23.

What is the world
coming to?

I hereby declare that
Katrina Finlay

Has been duly elected
to serve as a member

Of the Highland Council
for the Glenbogle ward.

Molly:
My dear...

You've done so well.

Well done.

See? I told you I could do it
without the help of the MacDonalds.

- The men anyway.
- What do you mean? I voted for you.

Did you? I didn't know
that. Why didn't you tell me?

Katrina, I'm sure
you'll do a good job.

How did it go with Justine?

Your speech.

First of all, I'd like to thank
the returning officer...

( theme music playing )

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