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1
00:00:01,906 --> 00:00:03,656
(knocking)
2
00:00:03,658 --> 00:00:04,282
Hi there, Mr. Powell.
3
00:00:04,625 --> 00:00:09,233
Hello, uh... guy.
4
00:00:09,515 --> 00:00:11,884
- Sit. Have a seat.
- Okay, sure.
5
00:00:11,916 --> 00:00:15,220
So a big client is coming
in today from out of town,
6
00:00:15,253 --> 00:00:18,990
and I need you to...
7
00:00:19,024 --> 00:00:20,558
entertain him.
8
00:00:20,591 --> 00:00:24,562
Oh, wow, yes, I-I'm
honored that you'd ask.
9
00:00:24,595 --> 00:00:26,231
So what are we thinking?
10
00:00:26,265 --> 00:00:27,566
Steak dinner or...
11
00:00:27,598 --> 00:00:30,168
No, he's a bit of a sports buff.
12
00:00:30,201 --> 00:00:34,172
Ooh, okay, great, yeah, we
could maybe take in a game.
13
00:00:34,206 --> 00:00:36,442
I'll level with you.
14
00:00:36,475 --> 00:00:37,843
This client of which I speak,
15
00:00:37,875 --> 00:00:41,814
he's grown tired of conventional sport.
16
00:00:41,847 --> 00:00:45,184
In fact, the only game
that thrills him anymore
17
00:00:45,216 --> 00:00:47,987
is the most dangerous game of all.
18
00:00:48,020 --> 00:00:49,188
Hockey?
19
00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:52,157
This gentleman... he likes to hunt man.
20
00:00:52,190 --> 00:00:54,125
Oh, yeah, okay.
21
00:00:54,158 --> 00:00:55,794
That's-that's a wrinkle.
22
00:00:55,827 --> 00:00:58,697
Uh, will-will he be hunting me,
23
00:00:58,729 --> 00:01:01,133
or will he and I be pairing up?
24
00:01:01,166 --> 00:01:03,035
- It'll be you.
- Gotcha, cool, cool.
25
00:01:03,068 --> 00:01:05,170
(phone buzzing)
26
00:01:05,204 --> 00:01:08,173
- Sorry, sorry.
- You should take it.
27
00:01:08,207 --> 00:01:10,675
Get your affairs in order.
28
00:01:10,708 --> 00:01:12,744
Tha-thank you.
29
00:01:14,979 --> 00:01:16,981
Good-bye.
30
00:01:17,014 --> 00:01:18,850
- Josh, I got a gig.
- What?
31
00:01:18,883 --> 00:01:20,718
- Really?
- Yeah, this ad agency,
32
00:01:20,752 --> 00:01:22,788
they want me to do some
big national campaign.
33
00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:25,958
Oh, my God, this is so...
this is so exciting.
34
00:01:25,991 --> 00:01:26,992
I know, right?
35
00:01:27,024 --> 00:01:27,960
How's work for you?
36
00:01:27,993 --> 00:01:29,728
Uh, you know,
37
00:01:29,761 --> 00:01:31,196
same old, same old.
38
00:01:31,229 --> 00:01:32,664
- (laughs)
- Uh, I-I got to go.
39
00:01:32,698 --> 00:01:34,098
Congratulations, I love you.
40
00:01:34,899 --> 00:01:37,869
(downtempo electronic music)
41
00:01:37,902 --> 00:01:38,871
42
00:01:38,904 --> 00:01:40,405
Ah!
43
00:01:40,439 --> 00:01:43,642
44
00:01:43,675 --> 00:01:45,711
(squeaks)
45
00:01:45,743 --> 00:01:47,412
46
00:01:47,446 --> 00:01:48,747
(growls)
47
00:01:48,779 --> 00:01:50,783
48
00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:04,759
- sync and corrections by Mr. C -
- www.addic7ed.com -
49
00:02:06,365 --> 00:02:08,234
Man, it's so cool this agency's already
50
00:02:08,266 --> 00:02:09,734
inviting you to parties.
51
00:02:09,767 --> 00:02:11,869
Yeah, it's great.
52
00:02:11,903 --> 00:02:13,939
Do you think there will be shrimp?
53
00:02:13,972 --> 00:02:15,273
Maybe.
54
00:02:15,307 --> 00:02:16,708
Am I dressed okay?
55
00:02:16,742 --> 00:02:18,077
Are you crazy?
56
00:02:18,110 --> 00:02:19,845
You look incredible.
57
00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:21,446
Thanks, I just-I really want to
make a good impression, so...
58
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:22,915
Listen to me.
59
00:02:22,948 --> 00:02:24,349
You are brilliant, the agency loves you,
60
00:02:24,383 --> 00:02:25,850
you look beautiful,
61
00:02:25,884 --> 00:02:28,187
and there's a strong
possibility of shrimp.
62
00:02:28,219 --> 00:02:30,255
This is gonna be an awesome night.
63
00:02:30,289 --> 00:02:31,791
- Thanks, honey.
- Of course.
64
00:02:33,891 --> 00:02:36,694
- All right.
- Okay.
65
00:02:36,728 --> 00:02:38,397
(upbeat music playing)
66
00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:41,766
Oh, wow, look at this place.
67
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,302
Everyone here's so cool.
68
00:02:43,335 --> 00:02:44,603
- It's Lucy!
- Hi!
69
00:02:44,635 --> 00:02:46,905
Lucy, I am so glad you came.
70
00:02:47,973 --> 00:02:49,541
This is Sonia.
71
00:02:49,574 --> 00:02:51,277
She just got back from
a shoot in Iceland.
72
00:02:51,309 --> 00:02:52,410
Oh, how was that?
73
00:02:52,444 --> 00:02:53,879
Honestly, cold.
74
00:02:53,911 --> 00:02:55,480
(laughter)
75
00:02:55,514 --> 00:02:57,449
And, of course, I have
to be in Rome on Friday.
76
00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:59,050
- Shrimp?
- Oh, wow, you're going to Rome?
77
00:02:59,083 --> 00:03:00,718
- I've always wanted to go.
- Shrimp?
78
00:03:00,752 --> 00:03:02,887
Xavier here is a copywriter. Amazing.
79
00:03:02,921 --> 00:03:04,957
And this is Lucy. We snatched her up
80
00:03:04,990 --> 00:03:07,292
for the new headphone campaign
because she's a freaking genius.
81
00:03:07,325 --> 00:03:08,826
Thank you, that's so nice.
82
00:03:08,860 --> 00:03:11,029
And I am Josh.
83
00:03:12,029 --> 00:03:12,997
(gasps)
84
00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:14,800
You have to meet Patrice.
85
00:03:14,832 --> 00:03:16,434
She's the creative director
at our New York office,
86
00:03:16,468 --> 00:03:17,670
and she loves your work.
87
00:03:17,702 --> 00:03:20,438
Oh, my God, I would love that, yeah.
88
00:03:20,472 --> 00:03:24,510
So you guys like, uh, shrimp?
89
00:03:28,980 --> 00:03:31,317
Can I get a beer, please?
90
00:03:33,784 --> 00:03:35,184
Can I get a...
91
00:03:37,622 --> 00:03:39,624
Does this do anything for you?
92
00:03:39,658 --> 00:03:40,958
Another white wine, please.
93
00:03:40,992 --> 00:03:42,728
Thank you.
94
00:03:46,998 --> 00:03:49,669
(sighs)
95
00:03:53,472 --> 00:03:55,606
Um, is this seat taken?
96
00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,676
(ominous music)
97
00:03:57,708 --> 00:03:59,978
No?
98
00:04:00,011 --> 00:04:02,381
(sighs)
99
00:04:02,413 --> 00:04:03,615
Parties.
100
00:04:03,648 --> 00:04:07,785
101
00:04:07,819 --> 00:04:10,222
Well, those are cool action figures.
102
00:04:10,254 --> 00:04:13,324
I-I actually had some just like that.
103
00:04:13,357 --> 00:04:16,961
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
104
00:04:16,994 --> 00:04:19,665
Can I tell you a secret?
105
00:04:19,697 --> 00:04:20,898
Okay.
106
00:04:20,932 --> 00:04:24,002
I see unsuccessful people.
107
00:04:24,035 --> 00:04:26,571
Like, when you're asleep or...
108
00:04:28,706 --> 00:04:30,106
When-when you're awake?
109
00:04:31,910 --> 00:04:35,681
Just, like, at bus stations,
in the mall, or what...
110
00:04:35,713 --> 00:04:39,684
Everywhere, walking around,
111
00:04:39,718 --> 00:04:42,020
like regular people.
112
00:04:42,052 --> 00:04:43,855
They don't know they're unsuccessful.
113
00:04:43,889 --> 00:04:47,492
What? When was the
last time you saw one?
114
00:04:47,526 --> 00:04:49,927
Right now.
115
00:04:49,961 --> 00:04:53,331
That guy tells people he's
going to culinary school,
116
00:04:53,365 --> 00:04:55,266
but he's just getting high and
watching the Food Network
117
00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:57,403
in his parents' basement.
118
00:04:57,435 --> 00:05:00,738
That woman thinks she's a writer,
119
00:05:00,771 --> 00:05:03,541
but McSweeney's disagrees.
120
00:05:03,574 --> 00:05:08,247
That man tells people
he's a massage therapist.
121
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:11,283
I wouldn't be surprised if
he's just giving handies.
122
00:05:11,316 --> 00:05:13,018
Those poor people.
123
00:05:13,050 --> 00:05:15,687
They don't know their lives are over,
124
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,222
that they're already dead.
125
00:05:17,254 --> 00:05:19,524
How do they not know
they're unsuccessful?
126
00:05:19,557 --> 00:05:20,892
Walter?
127
00:05:20,925 --> 00:05:22,260
Who are you talking to?
128
00:05:22,293 --> 00:05:24,729
129
00:05:24,763 --> 00:05:25,898
No one.
130
00:05:25,930 --> 00:05:27,932
What?
131
00:05:31,403 --> 00:05:34,239
(dramatic orchestral music)
132
00:05:34,271 --> 00:05:35,773
Oh, my God.
133
00:05:35,807 --> 00:05:38,309
134
00:05:38,343 --> 00:05:39,410
No.
135
00:05:39,444 --> 00:05:42,247
(distorted): And I am Josh.
136
00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:43,916
137
00:05:43,949 --> 00:05:46,285
I see unsuccessful people.
138
00:05:46,317 --> 00:05:48,586
139
00:05:48,619 --> 00:05:50,689
No.
140
00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:54,954
- No. No, no, no, no!
- (exclaiming)
141
00:05:54,986 --> 00:05:57,489
Boom. In your eyeball, dawg.
142
00:05:57,522 --> 00:05:59,292
You suck ass at this game.
143
00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:00,760
- It's embarrassing.
- What is that?
144
00:06:00,792 --> 00:06:02,461
- That's eight in a row?
- Mm-hmm.
145
00:06:02,494 --> 00:06:03,595
What is going on, man?
146
00:06:03,628 --> 00:06:05,397
Ah, it's-it's Lucy, man.
147
00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:06,833
She's got a new job, which is...
148
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,501
that's a good thing; it's a good thing.
149
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,570
But she's, like, hanging
out with all these cool,
150
00:06:10,602 --> 00:06:13,405
successful people, and I'm worried
151
00:06:13,438 --> 00:06:15,174
she's, gonna, like,
outgrow me, you know?
152
00:06:15,207 --> 00:06:16,607
Is that-is that crazy?
153
00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:18,510
Dude, come on.
154
00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:19,745
Of course she's gonna outgrow you.
155
00:06:19,777 --> 00:06:20,847
Hmm.
156
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:21,848
And probably, like, pretty soon.
157
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,448
Oh, cool.
158
00:06:23,482 --> 00:06:25,284
Hi. Hi.
159
00:06:25,316 --> 00:06:26,651
Josh, how fast can you get ready?
160
00:06:26,684 --> 00:06:28,321
'Cause we just got invited to dinner.
161
00:06:28,354 --> 00:06:30,590
Oh, um, I don't think
I need to remind you
162
00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:34,159
it's leftovers day, and the
lasagna's about to turn.
163
00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:36,195
Celeste just got us a
table at Fork and Twig.
164
00:06:36,227 --> 00:06:38,497
- Ooh.
- Oh, who's Celeste?
165
00:06:38,530 --> 00:06:40,699
She's the publisher. Her
husband's the architect?
166
00:06:40,732 --> 00:06:42,869
- These are people we know?
- Mike, you should come too.
167
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,704
Psh, hell yeah.
168
00:06:44,736 --> 00:06:47,172
Place has four dollar signs on
Yelp, so you know it's good.
169
00:06:47,205 --> 00:06:48,373
It's gonna be so much fun.
170
00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:50,376
Yes, and we get to see Celeste.
171
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,278
I don't think I can afford this.
172
00:06:52,311 --> 00:06:54,347
Relax, man. How expensive could it be?
173
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:56,382
(laughing, indistinct conversations)
174
00:06:56,414 --> 00:06:57,616
No, no, thank you.
175
00:06:57,650 --> 00:07:00,352
Tap water, tap water all night long.
176
00:07:00,385 --> 00:07:03,121
You know, had, like, a
pretty serious lunch,
177
00:07:03,155 --> 00:07:04,556
so I'm not that hungry.
178
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,859
Maybe-maybe you and I
just share something.
179
00:07:06,892 --> 00:07:09,529
Oh, well, it's tapas style,
so we can share everything.
180
00:07:09,561 --> 00:07:11,364
It's... What do you mean?
181
00:07:11,397 --> 00:07:13,164
Well, they're little share
plates, which is great,
182
00:07:13,198 --> 00:07:14,467
'cause then you can just
get whatever you want,
183
00:07:14,499 --> 00:07:15,899
as much as you want, and we'll just
184
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:18,503
- split the bill at the end.
- We-we split it?
185
00:07:18,537 --> 00:07:20,306
- Like, equally?
- Mm-hmm.
186
00:07:20,338 --> 00:07:22,641
Did you want to settle up
for your drinks at the bar?
187
00:07:22,674 --> 00:07:24,210
Nah, just transfer it to the table.
188
00:07:24,243 --> 00:07:25,478
What?
189
00:07:25,510 --> 00:07:27,179
In fact, we'll do one more round?
190
00:07:27,212 --> 00:07:29,315
Yeah? And then we'll
switch over to the pinot.
191
00:07:29,347 --> 00:07:30,682
- Who's drinking wine?
- Uh-huh.
192
00:07:30,715 --> 00:07:32,518
- Yup, you know it.
- Oh, I like this guy.
193
00:07:32,551 --> 00:07:34,554
All right, two bottles of that to start,
194
00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:36,756
and then how we feeling about apps?
195
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,224
Maybe we save room for our mains.
196
00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:41,394
Don't worry, they're
all very, very small.
197
00:07:41,426 --> 00:07:43,496
Well, in that case,
we'll do two of each.
198
00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:44,497
(dramatic music)
199
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:47,166
Whoa, oh, yeah.
200
00:07:47,198 --> 00:07:48,600
(laughs)
201
00:07:48,633 --> 00:07:51,169
202
00:07:51,203 --> 00:07:53,371
- This guy can order some shit.
- Get out of here.
203
00:07:53,405 --> 00:07:55,274
(laughter)
204
00:07:55,306 --> 00:07:56,441
(whoops)
205
00:07:56,474 --> 00:07:57,943
206
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:04,616
(laughter)
207
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,219
This place rocks.
208
00:08:07,251 --> 00:08:09,554
You know what I'm saying, Josh?
209
00:08:09,587 --> 00:08:10,987
Where's Jo...
210
00:08:13,325 --> 00:08:16,295
(ominous music)
211
00:08:16,327 --> 00:08:18,330
212
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,436
Josh, you in here, buddy?
213
00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:26,472
(adding machine clicking)
214
00:08:28,673 --> 00:08:32,377
No, no, it can't be. It can't be.
215
00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:34,714
Hey, man, what's going on?
216
00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:36,649
I've been running the numbers.
217
00:08:36,681 --> 00:08:39,317
Mike, this bill's gonna be a disaster.
218
00:08:39,350 --> 00:08:42,821
A disaster the likes of
which we have never seen.
219
00:08:42,854 --> 00:08:45,490
- Dude, it's gonna be fine.
- No, it's not going to be fine.
220
00:08:45,523 --> 00:08:48,660
As you can see, we've got
appetizers coming in from here.
221
00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,162
(beeping)
222
00:08:50,195 --> 00:08:51,464
Bartender keeps sending out
223
00:08:51,497 --> 00:08:53,165
more rounds from here and here.
224
00:08:53,197 --> 00:08:54,165
(beeping)
225
00:08:54,199 --> 00:08:55,334
And the mains,
226
00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:56,602
mains are coming in from the north.
227
00:08:56,634 --> 00:08:58,236
I've never seen them move so quickly.
228
00:08:58,269 --> 00:09:00,472
We are looking at an
extinction-level event.
229
00:09:00,505 --> 00:09:03,241
That means cash gone,
credit cards maxed.
230
00:09:03,274 --> 00:09:07,145
Check from Nana? Wiped out completely.
231
00:09:07,178 --> 00:09:10,649
I'm saying there will be nothing left.
232
00:09:10,682 --> 00:09:13,184
- MAN: Who wants in on this paella?
- Oh, I do.
233
00:09:13,218 --> 00:09:15,521
Wait, what? No!
234
00:09:15,553 --> 00:09:16,521
Guess you guys hated that.
235
00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:17,790
(laughter)
236
00:09:17,822 --> 00:09:19,624
Can I tempt anyone with dessert?
237
00:09:19,657 --> 00:09:21,793
Nope, nope, nope, we're fine.
238
00:09:21,826 --> 00:09:23,528
We're all fine. Just the bill, please.
239
00:09:23,561 --> 00:09:25,664
No, he's right, we are pretty stuffed,
240
00:09:25,697 --> 00:09:29,801
though I could go for a
little after-dinner drink.
241
00:09:29,835 --> 00:09:31,503
Who wants champagne?
242
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:35,641
Congratulations, Lucy.
The ad looks amazing.
243
00:09:35,673 --> 00:09:37,375
- Oh, my God.
- That bottle's not gonna do.
244
00:09:37,408 --> 00:09:38,610
What do you say, bottle for everyone?
245
00:09:38,643 --> 00:09:39,878
Is that crazy? It's fun, right?
246
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:41,280
Why not? Bottle for everyone.
247
00:09:41,312 --> 00:09:43,148
Oh, enough!
248
00:09:43,181 --> 00:09:46,317
- (echoing thump)
- Josh.
249
00:09:46,350 --> 00:09:47,619
Can't you see?
250
00:09:47,652 --> 00:09:49,287
Can't any of you see?
251
00:09:49,321 --> 00:09:51,691
Well, open your eyes and get ready,
252
00:09:51,724 --> 00:09:55,194
because there's a bill
coming, and none of you,
253
00:09:55,226 --> 00:09:56,828
none of you are ready for it.
254
00:09:56,862 --> 00:09:58,564
Did you even think about gratuity?
255
00:09:58,596 --> 00:10:00,331
Well, guess what.
256
00:10:00,364 --> 00:10:02,400
There's more than six
of us at this table.
257
00:10:02,433 --> 00:10:03,902
Do you know what that means?
258
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:05,905
It's automatic gratuity.
259
00:10:05,937 --> 00:10:07,739
So it's not gonna be 10%.
260
00:10:07,772 --> 00:10:10,242
It's not gonna be 15%. You
know what it's gonna be?
261
00:10:10,274 --> 00:10:13,178
It's gonna be 18%.
262
00:10:13,211 --> 00:10:15,346
18% tip!
263
00:10:15,379 --> 00:10:18,850
This meal is expensive!
264
00:10:18,883 --> 00:10:21,253
Oh, how we brought this on ourselves.
265
00:10:21,286 --> 00:10:23,422
We brought this on ourselves.
266
00:10:23,455 --> 00:10:25,758
The moment we ordered the extra avocado,
267
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:27,893
we turned our backs on God,
268
00:10:27,926 --> 00:10:30,763
and now the chickens are
coming home to roost.
269
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,765
And you all think I'm crazy.
270
00:10:32,797 --> 00:10:35,934
I'm your crazy dancing jester.
271
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:38,237
You all think I'm crazy!
272
00:10:38,269 --> 00:10:41,272
I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy.
273
00:10:41,306 --> 00:10:42,508
Sorry.
274
00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:43,943
Joshua.
275
00:10:43,975 --> 00:10:45,777
Yeah?
276
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,912
I can pay for us. It's fine.
277
00:10:47,946 --> 00:10:50,615
- Whoa, seriously?
- Yep, it's fine.
278
00:10:50,648 --> 00:10:52,048
Oh, cool.
279
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:58,923
So...
280
00:10:58,956 --> 00:11:02,293
cheers to my girlfriend, Lucy.
281
00:11:02,326 --> 00:11:04,729
(thunder booming)
282
00:11:04,763 --> 00:11:06,632
Eee.
283
00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:08,935
Yeah, I'm on her card too.
284
00:11:10,071 --> 00:11:12,072
(knocking)
JOSH: Yeah, oh, I'll get it.
285
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,141
Good morning!
286
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,574
- Hi.
- I was just
287
00:11:15,576 --> 00:11:16,978
in the neighborhood, and I hoped I could
288
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,746
- tempt you both to brunch.
- Brunch?
289
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,881
What a great idea. Lucy,
would you like brunch?
290
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:23,617
Um, I'm buying, how about that?
291
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:27,054
I'm buying. We go to that
diner under the freeway.
292
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:28,555
You know what? I actually just think
293
00:11:28,589 --> 00:11:29,891
I'm gonna go for a walk.
294
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:31,323
- It's nice to see you, Liz.
- Hi.
295
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:36,130
- Yikes.
- Yeah.
296
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:38,832
I just... I don't know how I...
297
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:41,001
I can make it up to her, you know?
298
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:44,905
I... Maybe, maybe I sell
my comic books, some...
299
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:48,575
some of my comic books on eBay
300
00:11:48,609 --> 00:11:50,679
and then use the money I get from that
301
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,514
to buy her some jewelry.
302
00:11:52,547 --> 00:11:55,984
Josh, Lucy's not with
you because you're rich
303
00:11:56,017 --> 00:11:59,688
or successful or because
you have a cool job
304
00:11:59,721 --> 00:12:01,589
that's interesting or pays well
305
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:05,492
or because you're worldly or
have an interesting style.
306
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:06,960
- Okay.
- So if you're gonna
307
00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:10,498
give her a present, it
should be from the heart.
308
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:12,533
Maybe you should make her something.
309
00:12:12,567 --> 00:12:14,702
Ooh, she's an artist. She'd love that.
310
00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:16,804
I'm-I'm not good at making things.
311
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,872
That doesn't matter. It's
the thought that counts.
312
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,374
Huh.
313
00:12:20,408 --> 00:12:25,046
The thought that counts. Yeah.
314
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,647
Yeah.
315
00:12:26,681 --> 00:12:29,651
(upbeat orchestral music)
316
00:12:29,683 --> 00:12:31,653
317
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:58,379
All right, uh, haven't shown
it to her yet, but...
318
00:12:58,413 --> 00:13:00,481
I think it might be pretty good.
319
00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:01,749
- I'm so excited.
- Yeah, bro.
320
00:13:01,783 --> 00:13:02,750
It's cool you made her something.
321
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:04,586
Thank you so much.
322
00:13:04,619 --> 00:13:07,322
Without further ado,
323
00:13:07,355 --> 00:13:09,324
I give you
324
00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:12,360
"Bowl of Cherries on an End Table."
325
00:13:22,637 --> 00:13:25,073
- Uh...
- Um...
326
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:27,942
- Wow.
- It is so special.
327
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,377
Thanks, thank you.
328
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,044
Looks like you used a lot of color.
329
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:32,045
Mm.
330
00:13:32,078 --> 00:13:33,113
Really looks like
331
00:13:33,147 --> 00:13:34,783
you used a lot of paint.
332
00:13:34,816 --> 00:13:36,017
Thank you, yeah, I did.
333
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:38,919
Um, Mike?
334
00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:41,622
Dude, I gotta be real. It's not great.
335
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:44,458
Okay, well, that-that's not
constructive or helpful.
336
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,961
What-what part specifically
don't you like?
337
00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:50,632
If I'm being totally honest here, to me,
338
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:53,735
it kind of looks like a picture
of you sucking a dog's dick.
339
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:57,572
Hmm.
340
00:13:57,605 --> 00:14:00,642
Wow, I-I don't see that at all.
341
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:01,742
Which bit?
342
00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:03,310
Ah, well, uh,
343
00:14:03,344 --> 00:14:06,448
the dog's head is there, you're there,
344
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:10,418
and that's clearly the dog
dick going into your mouth.
345
00:14:10,451 --> 00:14:13,321
Hmm, every painting is
open to interpretation.
346
00:14:13,354 --> 00:14:15,557
What about the speech
bubble there where the dog
347
00:14:15,590 --> 00:14:18,460
is literally saying,
"Woof, woof, cowabunga.
348
00:14:18,493 --> 00:14:19,994
Thanks for the blow job"?
349
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,830
That-that was meant to be a cherry.
350
00:14:21,863 --> 00:14:23,598
They're all cherries.
351
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,332
That's a cherry. That's
supposed to be a ch...
352
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,601
Uh, Liz, help me out here.
353
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:30,270
Um...
354
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,339
God damn it, now I see it.
355
00:14:32,373 --> 00:14:35,977
It looks like a painting of
me sucking a dog's dick.
356
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:38,846
And the dog is saying,
"Woof, woof, cowabunga."
357
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,814
Thanks for the blow..." Yeah, okay.
358
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:44,818
Let me rectify. Just do
a last-minute alter-oo.
359
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,788
Hmm.
360
00:14:46,821 --> 00:14:49,757
Okay, what about that?
Is that any better?
361
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:51,358
- Working for you?
- Well, now you're just
362
00:14:51,392 --> 00:14:52,794
giving a thumbs-up.
363
00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:54,761
Makes it look like you're
really enjoying it.
364
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:56,363
Like it was your idea.
365
00:14:56,397 --> 00:14:58,700
And the dog is just going along with it.
366
00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,634
Damn it, I should throw
this in the garbage.
367
00:15:00,668 --> 00:15:02,769
Although, Liz, you did say,
368
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:04,639
"It's the thought that counts."
369
00:15:04,672 --> 00:15:06,072
I was wrong.
370
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,413
Oh, shit.
371
00:15:12,580 --> 00:15:14,048
Josh, what are you doing?
372
00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:18,620
Uh, nothing, nothing.
Everything is normal and fine.
373
00:15:18,653 --> 00:15:20,822
- Jesus, all right, great.
- Okay, fine, wait, look.
374
00:15:20,855 --> 00:15:23,825
I know I messed up at the dinner.
375
00:15:23,857 --> 00:15:26,727
I did. And so I tried to paint you
376
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:31,732
a thing... 'cause I
know you like cherries.
377
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,668
It was supposed to be
a bowl of cherries,
378
00:15:33,701 --> 00:15:35,503
but I can't even do that right.
379
00:15:35,536 --> 00:15:37,906
One more classic Greenberg failure.
380
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,908
Josh, what is going on with you?
381
00:15:39,941 --> 00:15:42,476
I don't have, like, a cool job.
382
00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:44,511
I don't make a lot of money.
383
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:47,814
I am, at best, a B-plus painter.
384
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:50,851
And yeah, I'm just
treading water trying to,
385
00:15:50,884 --> 00:15:53,420
like, keep up with all
your cool new friends.
386
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,755
Stop trying, okay?
387
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,691
Stop trying to be some cool, new dude.
388
00:15:56,724 --> 00:15:59,394
You're driving me crazy.
389
00:15:59,427 --> 00:16:01,562
Just please, please
just be guy that I met.
390
00:16:01,596 --> 00:16:03,697
I miss that guy.
391
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,432
A lot.
392
00:16:05,466 --> 00:16:07,936
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
393
00:16:07,969 --> 00:16:10,772
Yeah, I guess I could
try a bit harder at,
394
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:13,006
you know, not trying.
395
00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:15,075
Okay.
396
00:16:15,109 --> 00:16:16,644
Can we go in?
397
00:16:18,479 --> 00:16:22,417
Hey, uh, you want to know
something kind of embarrassing?
398
00:16:22,450 --> 00:16:26,020
Uh, that-that painting
399
00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:28,456
was actually my best one.
400
00:16:28,489 --> 00:16:29,958
There were worse ones than that?
401
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:33,260
Oh, yeah.
402
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:36,063
This one was supposed
to be a bowl of pears.
403
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,366
- Uh-huh.
- Yup.
404
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:41,302
This one was meant to be grapes.
405
00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:43,471
I don't know how that happened.
406
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,439
This one was just a mango.
407
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:47,642
Literally just a mango.
408
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,811
So then I was like, "Maybe I'll
just paint me blowing an owl,"
409
00:16:50,845 --> 00:16:52,614
in the hopes that it
would turn out to be,
410
00:16:52,646 --> 00:16:54,547
like, a bowl of apples.
411
00:16:54,582 --> 00:16:55,650
Mm-hmm.
412
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,652
No-no such luck.
413
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,320
Why is the owl saying,
"Woof, woof, cowabunga.
414
00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:01,556
Thanks for the blow job"?
415
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,423
Shouldn't it be, like,
416
00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:05,326
"hoot, hoot" 'cause it's an owl?
417
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,994
It-it should be "hoot, hoot," yeah.
418
00:17:07,028 --> 00:17:09,297
Uh, I don't know.
419
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,432
I guess I have a style.
420
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:12,567
(chuckles)
421
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:13,999
Yeah, I think you do.
422
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,672
Oh, Randy, leave it up to me
423
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:21,041
I'll pour the water
if you bring the tree
424
00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:25,679
Hey, thanks for coming with me
425
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:26,968
- to another one of these.
- Oh, I wouldn't miss it.
426
00:17:27,023 --> 00:17:29,646
Lucy, you have to meet Edgar and Anna.
427
00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:31,884
They just wrote an opera.
428
00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:34,587
(hip-hop music playing)
429
00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:37,990
Hello.
430
00:17:38,023 --> 00:17:38,991
(ominous music)
431
00:17:39,023 --> 00:17:41,060
Ugh, hello.
432
00:17:41,092 --> 00:17:42,695
You're unsuccessful.
433
00:17:42,727 --> 00:17:44,062
Okay, you know what, kid?
434
00:17:44,096 --> 00:17:46,399
I might not make a ton of money
435
00:17:46,431 --> 00:17:48,333
or have, like, a cool job,
436
00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:49,802
but I'll tell you what I do have.
437
00:17:49,834 --> 00:17:51,636
What I do have is a very cool girlfriend
438
00:17:51,669 --> 00:17:53,672
who's very talented, and
she loves me a lot.
439
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,106
So you know what?
440
00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:57,877
In my book, that makes me
pretty darn successful.
441
00:17:57,909 --> 00:17:59,711
Your hair is stupid.
442
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:02,247
You're just, like, a
little shit, aren't you?
443
00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:03,850
Guilty.
444
00:18:03,882 --> 00:18:06,752
Josh, come here.
445
00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:10,255
Guys, I don't think you really
met my boyfriend, Josh.
446
00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:12,925
Oh, hey, so nice to meet you. I
didn't even see you come in.
447
00:18:12,957 --> 00:18:14,694
- We've heard so much about you.
- Oh, cool.
448
00:18:14,726 --> 00:18:17,729
- Shrimp?
- Oh, uh, yeah.
449
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,898
Don't-don't mind if I do.
450
00:18:19,931 --> 00:18:23,268
(upbeat rock music)
451
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:25,605
- sync and corrections by Mr. C -
- www.addic7ed.com -
452
00:18:25,655 --> 00:18:30,205
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