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1
00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:04,695
( Drill Buzzing )
2
00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:06,705
Dewey:
I hate my brothers.
3
00:00:06,773 --> 00:00:08,400
I only like me.
4
00:00:08,475 --> 00:00:10,466
I hate my brothers.
5
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:12,444
I only like me.
6
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,275
I hate my brothers.
7
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:15,609
I only like me.
8
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,115
( Boys Yelling )
9
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,947
Stop it right now!
I mean it!
10
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,281
( Yelling Continues )
11
00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:21,945
When are you going to be done?
12
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,614
Soon as I can, honey.
13
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,624
I said, stop it!
14
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,557
Dewey:
I hate my brothers.
15
00:00:27,627 --> 00:00:28,559
( Thud )
16
00:00:28,628 --> 00:00:29,720
I only like me.
17
00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:31,229
I hate my brothers.
18
00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:32,458
I only like me.
19
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:33,464
( Thud )
20
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:36,400
( Drill Whirring )
21
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:37,732
( Whirring Stops )
22
00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:39,567
''Five across.
23
00:00:39,639 --> 00:00:42,574
My mother the... blank.''
24
00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:46,100
? Yes, no, maybe ?
25
00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:48,647
? I don't know ?
26
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,980
? Can you repeat the question? ?
27
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:54,145
? You're not the boss
of me now ?
28
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,451
? You're not
the boss of me now ?
29
00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:58,047
? You're not the boss
of me now ?
30
00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:01,151
? And you're not so big ?
31
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,594
? You're not the boss
of me now ?
32
00:01:03,663 --> 00:01:05,597
? You're not
the boss of me now ?
33
00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:06,996
? You're not the boss
of me now ?
34
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:10,833
? And you're not so big ?
35
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:15,398
? Life is unfair. ?
36
00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:19,975
I know a lot of kids
say they like school.
37
00:01:20,046 --> 00:01:22,810
But honestly,
I just find it exhausting.
38
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,783
I mean, when I am in school
39
00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:26,785
I'm either bored, terrified...
40
00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:30,019
or confused
aboutJulie Houlerman.
41
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,682
Hi, Malcolm.
42
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:32,725
Perfect example.
43
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,522
What does she mean by that?
44
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:35,686
Is it just ''Hi''?
45
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,730
Is she trying to say
she likes me?
46
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,265
Is she just being nice?
47
00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:42,324
And now I have to figure out
a secret way to answer her
48
00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:44,131
without A)
acting like I like her
49
00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:46,001
or B)
acting like I don't like her
50
00:01:46,072 --> 00:01:49,041
or C) acting like I've never
even thought about A or B.
51
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,168
Just be pleasant
and noncommittal.
52
00:01:51,244 --> 00:01:52,176
Hey,Ju...
53
00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:58,145
She's doing this to me
on purpose.
54
00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:02,912
( Girls Squealing )
55
00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:04,581
Hey, how are you?
56
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,719
Stanley, you are incredible.
57
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,490
I thought Malcolm was a genius
58
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,122
but this is off the charts.
59
00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:13,757
The school asked
for an honor guard.
60
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,302
I figured you'd like a few weeks
without drill practice.
61
00:02:16,369 --> 00:02:17,700
A pageant, though.
62
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:20,797
Beautiful girls
with self-esteem issues.
63
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:21,841
It's perfect.
64
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:26,078
Easy. Let's start with
the obvious runners up.
65
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,273
They're going to be
the neediest.
66
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,685
You know, uh, this
is a little intense.
67
00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:38,554
You, me, working
this shelf... together.
68
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:39,887
( Chuckles Nervously )
69
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,861
What's intense about it?
70
00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:44,362
I guess nothing.
71
00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:45,398
Excuse me.
72
00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:49,396
Mom!
73
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:51,437
You're not supposed
to yell in the store.
74
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,335
Not supposed
to do that either.
75
00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:54,737
Life's funny that way.
76
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:58,801
Hey... the Three Musketeers.
77
00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:00,210
Athos, Aramis...
78
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,305
and you must be Porthos.
79
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:03,849
You're creepy.
80
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,750
You really shouldn't say
hurtful things to grownups.
81
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,082
I'm sorry.
82
00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:10,486
That's okay.
We're still friends.
83
00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:11,546
Craig...
84
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,115
you have got to redo
the nail polish.
85
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,286
The crystal pinks are mixed
with the frosty pinks
86
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,829
are mixed with
the God knows what.
87
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:19,024
Right away, Mr. Pinter.
88
00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:32,368
Okay. I'm off work
in five minutes.
89
00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:33,935
Don't touch the register.
90
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,572
Don't touch the candy,
the price tags
91
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,549
and don't touch the microphones.
92
00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:38,743
That includes by accident.
93
00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:39,978
That includes just looking.
94
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,145
That includes hovering
95
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,950
with your finger
a half inch away from it.
96
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,253
Fair warning.
97
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:53,490
Dare you.
98
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:54,555
Go ahead.
99
00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:55,794
You do it.
100
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,131
- I'll do it.
- Yeah, right.
101
00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:59,137
I will.
102
00:03:59,205 --> 00:04:00,399
This isn't baby
stuff, Dewey.
103
00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:01,701
Go ride the horsy
out front.
104
00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:04,375
( Chuckles )
105
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:05,376
Horsy.
106
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:07,640
I got to remember that.
107
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:14,176
The microphone, register...
candy... price tags...
108
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,449
steam cleaner.
109
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,223
Boys!
110
00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:28,529
It's not what it looks like.
111
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,432
Oh, hello, boys.
112
00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:35,030
How long you in for?
113
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,302
Another hour.
114
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:37,308
Yow.
115
00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:38,309
Hi, Hon.
116
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:39,310
Hi.
117
00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:41,313
Did you see Dewey outside?
118
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:42,746
Oh, what's wrong?
119
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:45,410
I don't know,
but something's upsetting him.
120
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:47,578
He didn't say a word
on the way home
121
00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:49,986
and now I just can't
find him anywhere.
122
00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:51,080
Hmm.
123
00:04:51,157 --> 00:04:52,818
Hey, I'll check
his special place.
124
00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:54,826
Dewey?
125
00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:56,657
You in there, buddy?
126
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,493
No.
127
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,089
What's wrong, pal?
128
00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:02,100
I did something bad.
129
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:04,329
They told me to ride a horsy
and I'm not a baby
130
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:06,599
but I would have played
with the carpet cleaner
131
00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:08,300
and I didn't have
a quarter anyway.
132
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,433
Uh-huh. Dewey, honey
133
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:11,374
Daddy's getting a cramp
in his leg.
134
00:05:11,444 --> 00:05:12,433
What did you do?
135
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:15,379
I took something
from Mommy's store.
136
00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:16,847
Well, that's very serious.
137
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:18,110
What did you take?
138
00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:19,116
A candy bar?
139
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:21,551
No. It's not
a candy bar.
140
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:23,714
Oh? Well, what is it?
141
00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:26,384
$1 50 bottle of cognac?
142
00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:29,360
How could you take this?!
143
00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:31,294
I'm sorry.
144
00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:32,956
My God,
would you look at this thing?
145
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,125
Can you imagine the man
146
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,792
who spends $1 50
on a bottle of cognac?
147
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,030
What do you think a guy
like that pays for socks?
148
00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:39,799
Dewey, what am I
going to do with you?
149
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,307
This works
pretty good, Mom.
150
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:44,309
Get your jacket, we're going
back to the store.
151
00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:47,505
You are going to return
this bottle to Mr. Pinter
152
00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:50,048
apologize and accept
the consequences.
153
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:51,310
What do mean, ''fired''?!
154
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:53,011
You can't fire me for this.
155
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:56,021
Sorry. Store policy is
very clear about stealing.
156
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,647
But he didn't steal it;
he returned it.
157
00:05:57,724 --> 00:05:59,123
Right there.
The bottle is perfect.
158
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,023
You can just put it
right back on the shelf.
159
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:03,460
I already marked it
out of inventory.
160
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:04,929
Pinter:
My hands are tied here.
161
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:06,431
What are you
talking about?
162
00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:08,023
You don't even do
inventory.
163
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:11,332
You foist if off on me because
you make so many mistakes.
164
00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:14,032
You're not exactly making me
regret my decision here, Lois.
165
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,039
Mom?
166
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,076
Oh, honey, it's
okay. It's okay.
167
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:18,474
This is just an excuse.
168
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:21,105
You have hated me
since the minute you got here
169
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:24,639
because I was first choice for
your job and I turned it down.
170
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,117
You know, you think
what you want, okay?
171
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:29,155
At least I didn't raise a thief.
172
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:32,382
- ( Loud Ripping Sound )
- ( Pinter Yells )
173
00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:33,721
( All Gasp )
174
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:37,629
Velcro. I win the pool.
175
00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:45,461
( Reciting ):
Sweet home Alabama...
176
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:48,063
( Piano Accompaniment )
177
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:53,477
where the skies are so blue.
178
00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:57,448
Sweet home Alabama...
179
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:03,747
Lord, I'm coming home
180
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:04,881
to you.
181
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:07,825
( Playing Licks )
182
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:10,021
( Applause )
183
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,723
Oh, very, very
nice, Bridget.
184
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:14,232
That was very nice.
185
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:15,961
Oh, Francis, I wanted
to thank you again
186
00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:17,400
for being so helpful.
187
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:20,200
Usually, the honor guards
just sit around and gawk
188
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,865
but you've really
thrown yourself
189
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:23,568
into this whole hog,
haven't you?
190
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:28,171
What can I say?
I love the theater.
191
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,876
Francis, will you help me
decide on my leg extensions?
192
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,884
Which do you think
looks better--
193
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,613
right leg...
194
00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:37,178
or left leg?
195
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,122
Mmm...
196
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:42,923
Can you... do both?
197
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,227
It's been ten days
since Mom lost her job.
198
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,203
Yesterday for dinner,
we had macaroni and rice.
199
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:54,137
Today it's rice and macaroni.
200
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,971
Mom, I can't eat
this stuff anymore.
201
00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:58,635
Reese, this is not the time
for complaining.
202
00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:01,612
I'm not complaining;
I'm constipated.
203
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:04,275
I'm sorry, we can't afford
to live lavishly anymore.
204
00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:05,146
Drink your milk.
205
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:05,980
It's lumpy.
206
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:07,246
Then chew it.
207
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,413
Hey, come on, we can do this.
208
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,684
We've had to economize before.
209
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:13,919
Remember when Grandma drove
into the living room?
210
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,689
Or last year, when we were
saving up for Disneyland?
211
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:18,321
We're going to Disneyland?
212
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:19,330
No.
213
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:20,991
It's like that.
214
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:23,729
Except this time, we're just
trying to keep the house.
215
00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:25,737
Okay, everybody, stop worrying.
216
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:27,796
I am going to find
another job...
217
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:30,308
another cashier job
with flexible hours
218
00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:34,403
that allows me to leave whenever
I need to take care of my kids.
219
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,505
Well, can't you get
unemployment or something?
220
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:38,073
No. I only worked
38 hours a week.
221
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:39,413
They consider that
part-time.
222
00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:41,749
You know, I hope
you are at least learning
223
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:43,311
something
from all this.
224
00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:46,290
Yeah-- ''If you do
something bad, don't tell.''
225
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,883
No-- ''We did
the right thing.''
226
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,292
That's what's
important.
227
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,058
Can't we at least do a load
of laundry or something?
228
00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:53,792
Everything I have stinks.
229
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:56,664
Yeah, he wants to smell
good for... Julie!
230
00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:57,760
( Gagging )
231
00:08:57,837 --> 00:08:58,769
Malcolm.
232
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:01,634
Yeah, yeah.
233
00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:07,139
It was worth it.
234
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,704
So we can't do laundry,
we have to share baths
235
00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:12,182
and yesterday, she had
our cable turned off.
236
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:13,776
Our cable!
237
00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:16,617
How's your... love life?
238
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:19,180
What?
239
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,556
So, basically,
everything I tell you
240
00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:21,685
in confidence as a friend
241
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:23,388
you're going to use
to make fun of me?
242
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:26,591
I have... nothing else.
243
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:28,099
Hi, Malcolm.
244
00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:29,395
You want to split lunches?
245
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:30,868
What?
246
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:32,404
Yeah, sure.
247
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:50,453
I have a Chinese chicken salad,
a tangerine
248
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:52,548
and, ooh,Jordan almonds.
249
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:53,990
What do you have?
250
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:56,528
Leftover eggs
from breakfast.
251
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,223
Oh.
252
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,061
Uh, I'm on a special diet...
253
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,100
for sports.
254
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,498
Oh, I forgot.
255
00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:05,401
I have to go...
work out.
256
00:10:05,471 --> 00:10:07,200
I'll see you later.
257
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:10,908
I can't take
this anymore!
258
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:14,037
Everything I want,
I can't have!
259
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:15,705
Anything that's nice,
I can't do.
260
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:18,774
Everyone in the world gets to do
everything except me!
261
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:19,783
Malcolm...
262
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:21,012
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
263
00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:23,385
I know there's other people
worse off than me.
264
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,821
You know what?
I don't care.
265
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:27,382
I'm sick of going to school
every day smelling like feet!
266
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,859
Malcolm...
267
00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,225
I hate being poor, okay?
268
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,593
I mean, is that so bad?
269
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:33,928
Why is that like
some big character flaw?
270
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,558
It's not my fault
we're poor!
271
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:36,226
Malcolm!
272
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,600
You, um...
273
00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:40,571
left... your backpack.
274
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:46,836
Maybe you should try taking
a really deep breath
275
00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:49,313
before you start talking.
276
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:50,644
Yeah.
277
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:52,184
Francis, where have you been?
278
00:10:52,251 --> 00:10:54,014
I've been looking for you
for days.
279
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:57,056
I'm sorry, Dad.
I've just been buried here.
280
00:10:57,123 --> 00:11:00,024
Okay, listen, I've got kind of
281
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:01,890
a bad news/ good news thing here.
282
00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:03,121
( Sighing )
283
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:06,757
Your mom lost her job,
and we're pretty broke.
284
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,097
The good news is, that makes
your tuition an issue.
285
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:12,569
Now, I think I can talk her
into letting you come home.
286
00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:14,469
Dad, no, I can't come home!
287
00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:16,371
Marlin Academy
is the best thing
288
00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:18,069
that has ever
happened to me.
289
00:11:18,144 --> 00:11:20,806
I am at a crucial point
in my rehabilitation.
290
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,177
Uh-huh. What's her name?
291
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:24,307
That's the thing--
There's, like, ten of them!
292
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,148
( Knock At Door )
293
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,518
Check the peephole.
294
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:33,025
If they've got a hand truck,
don't open it.
295
00:11:33,092 --> 00:11:34,753
( Knocking Continues )
296
00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:36,852
( Door Opens, Then Closes )
297
00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:38,419
Craig, what are
you doing here?
298
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,796
Lois, I just had a meeting
with Mr. Pinter--
299
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,801
well, more like an hour
begging, really--
300
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,201
but the point is, you can
have your old job back!
301
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:46,135
Yes!
302
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:49,265
That is such good news!
303
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,776
And all you have to do
is apologize
304
00:11:51,844 --> 00:11:54,244
and let him dock your pay
1 50 bucks
305
00:11:54,313 --> 00:11:57,009
and you have to work
the graveyard shift
306
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:58,448
for a couple months.
307
00:11:58,518 --> 00:11:59,576
Oh.
308
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:01,643
Sounds good, Mom.
309
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:02,779
- No, thanks.
- What?!
310
00:12:02,855 --> 00:12:04,379
- You're kidding.
- Why?!
311
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:06,789
Because that's like admitting
he's right.
312
00:12:06,859 --> 00:12:08,258
I'm not going to do that.
313
00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:10,420
Lois, if this makes
any difference
314
00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:13,932
I will work every graveyard
shift right alongside you--
315
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,558
every single one of them.
316
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:16,829
Oh, hi, Craig.
What's going on?
317
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,871
Nothing.Just business.
318
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:21,372
Take it easy, tiger.
319
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:22,999
We're working.
320
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:24,269
Well, I am.
321
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:26,575
Hi.
322
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:28,546
Back to the grind.
323
00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:32,243
Nice guy.
324
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:43,061
Thank you,
Tanya.
325
00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:45,461
Tanya, that was
fantastic.
326
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:47,328
I swear, when you
put tap to it
327
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,925
the Pledge of Allegiance
just comes alive.
328
00:12:50,002 --> 00:12:52,971
One suggestion:
Do you have a tube top?
329
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:55,303
Oh, Francis, you are
just wonderful.
330
00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:58,434
I mean, you're so different
than the local boys.
331
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:01,173
I mean, I haven't even
known you that long
332
00:13:01,247 --> 00:13:02,407
and I already feel
333
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,109
so connected to you.
334
00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:07,118
I know. It's almost mystical.
335
00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:10,644
Yeah, and I'm so glad
the gay thing isn't an issue.
336
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:11,815
You're gay?
337
00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:14,621
No, no, silly. You are.
338
00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:16,594
Wait. You think I'm gay?
339
00:13:16,662 --> 00:13:18,960
Oh, you don't have to
hide anything, honey.
340
00:13:19,031 --> 00:13:20,999
I mean, we're a lot
more liberal here
341
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,261
than you think we are.
342
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,860
I mean, it's not
like Birmingham.
343
00:13:24,937 --> 00:13:27,701
Wait a minute.
You think I'm gay?
344
00:13:27,773 --> 00:13:29,172
Why do you think I'm gay?
345
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,607
Oh, come on.
346
00:13:30,676 --> 00:13:33,474
You like the theater,
you're good with decorating
347
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:36,947
and, well, you're completely
obsessed with your mother.
348
00:13:37,016 --> 00:13:38,847
Can you undo my hooks?
349
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,045
Tanya, I'm kind of having
a dilemma here...
350
00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:46,683
Oh, great. Frannie,
can you spray me?
351
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:49,159
My suit keeps riding up.
352
00:13:49,228 --> 00:13:50,661
( Giggling )
353
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,927
That's why I'm here...
354
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,228
girlfriend!
355
00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,575
So what did you
want to talk about?
356
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:04,575
I'm your teacher!
357
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:05,702
Can't we just talk?
358
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:08,872
You know, that
Julie Houlerman
359
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:11,348
is a very special
little girl.
360
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:12,406
Oh, come on!
361
00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:14,544
Caroline,
I don't want to...
362
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:19,990
Caroline: Malcolm, Malcolm, Malcolm,
so private, so guarded.
363
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:22,823
But you don't have to
be that way with me.
364
00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:24,760
I'm on your side.
365
00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:28,288
Julie knows that.
She's not even in my class.
366
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,301
She talked to you?
About me?
367
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:31,631
What'd she say?
368
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:35,504
Aw, nothing that wasn't
obvious already.
369
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:38,100
You know, when you
open up to people
370
00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:40,111
you will always
be surprised
371
00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:42,306
just how well
things turn out.
372
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:45,179
- Surprise!
- Surprise!
373
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:50,945
Isn't it wonderful?
374
00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:52,854
Julie organized
375
00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:55,257
the whole thing herself
376
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,296
and everyone in school
responded.
377
00:14:57,363 --> 00:15:00,332
Dear Malcolm,
this isn't just food.
378
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:03,027
It's an expression of how
we all feel about you.
379
00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:06,629
Our hearts go out to you
in your time of need.
380
00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,640
( Applause )
381
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,346
- You're going to keep the food?
- Yes.
382
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:24,354
I'm not going
to throw away
383
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:25,754
perfectly good
pie filling
384
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:27,417
and... lamb chutney.
385
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:29,688
Don't you even care
how humiliating this is?
386
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,286
We've done can drives.
387
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,695
This is just the
crap people find
388
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,027
when they clean
out the garage.
389
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,192
Okay,just stop it.
390
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:37,258
I know how
hard this is
391
00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:39,133
but no one ever said
life is fair.
392
00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:40,695
Sometimes decent,
hard-working people
393
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,138
get dumped on
for no good reason.
394
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:43,573
They just have
to wipe their eyes
395
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:44,575
and keep on walking.
396
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,771
Something will
turn up.
397
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:49,314
We just have to hold on
a little bit longer.
398
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:50,371
And in the meantime
399
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:52,076
be thankful for small favors.
400
00:15:52,151 --> 00:15:55,086
Anyone want the last olive?
401
00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:56,746
Those aren't olives.
402
00:15:56,822 --> 00:15:58,221
Those are peaches.
403
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:02,624
( Siren Wailing )
404
00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:07,730
Well, you got him here
early, that's good.
405
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,358
He'll be fine
in a few days.
406
00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:10,697
Just like
when this one
407
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:11,964
ate the frog.
408
00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:13,733
I only ate half of it.
409
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,206
I won't put
the stomach pump on the bill.
410
00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:19,142
I mean, he did most
of the work on the way over.
411
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:20,269
Thanks, Don. Uh...
412
00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:22,644
listen, as far
as the bill goes
413
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:25,343
what kind of neighborhood
are we in?
414
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,045
Well...
the emergency room
415
00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:29,053
couple of days
of observation--
416
00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:30,645
probably three or four.
417
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:33,317
Three or
four... hun...?
418
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:50,967
Okay.
419
00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:52,408
You boys take
care of your dad.
420
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:54,708
I'm going to go see Mr. Pinter
and beg for my job back.
421
00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:55,804
What? Mom, wait.
422
00:16:55,881 --> 00:16:57,371
You don't have
to do that.
423
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:58,917
Yes, I do. I don't want to
424
00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:00,815
shouldn't have to,
but guess what?
425
00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:02,080
I do.
426
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:04,281
But I want you boys
to understand something.
427
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:06,654
I am not going back
on anything I said before.
428
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,557
She's completely
going back on it
429
00:17:08,627 --> 00:17:11,221
but I'm not going
to kick her when she's down.
430
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:13,265
You're totally
going back on it.
431
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:14,458
No, I am not.
432
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:17,001
Everything I said before
still goes.
433
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:18,798
You know, sometimes
bad things happen
434
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,361
and you don't
understand why
435
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:23,101
and you just have to trust that
there's a good reason for it.
436
00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:26,169
Sure, it's easy
437
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:27,837
to work in mysterious ways
438
00:17:27,913 --> 00:17:29,141
when you have a job.
439
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:36,380
( Long, Gassy Whine )
440
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,115
The first one who laughs
441
00:17:40,192 --> 00:17:42,592
gets their ass kicked.
442
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:47,427
( Moans )
443
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:50,628
You have
incredible hands.
444
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:54,764
Well, it's easy
on such a beautiful back.
445
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,775
Not to mention
the most talented...
446
00:17:57,843 --> 00:18:00,437
sweet...
447
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:01,639
and sexy...
448
00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:05,976
What?
449
00:18:06,051 --> 00:18:07,518
Francis...
450
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:11,784
are... are you sure
you're really...
451
00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:14,018
how you are?
452
00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:18,462
Tanya, I'm so confused.
453
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:22,968
I mean, I thought that I was,
but when I'm around you
454
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:26,368
I have these...
strange, new feelings.
455
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:31,967
I feel like...
maybe I could... change.
456
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:36,208
That you could be
the woman who changes me.
457
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:39,479
Oh, Francis...
458
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,816
I was hoping
you'd say that.
459
00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:43,787
I want to be that woman
460
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,118
for you.
461
00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:47,125
Mm, and don't
you worry, honey.
462
00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:51,357
If there's one thing we
know how to do down here
463
00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:53,955
it's how to fix this.
464
00:18:55,601 --> 00:19:00,265
And with God's help,
we can say ''no!'' to weakness.
465
00:19:00,339 --> 00:19:03,968
We can say ''no!''
to all things unnatural!
466
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:08,673
It is procreation,
not recreation!
467
00:19:08,747 --> 00:19:11,511
And when Satan tempts us,
what do we do?
468
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,142
Pray out the gay.
469
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:14,015
Get to it!
470
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:23,955
I have to say, Lois,
I'm surprised
471
00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:26,054
by this change
in your attitude.
472
00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:27,928
Yeah, well, me, too.
473
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,230
I know we've had
our differences
474
00:19:30,302 --> 00:19:32,827
but I hope that we
can make all this
475
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:34,566
water under the bridge.
476
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,699
So, if you'll just sign here...
477
00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:38,208
Mm, what's this?
478
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:39,471
Your apology.
479
00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:42,275
I think I've captured
your voice rather nicely.
480
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:44,441
You want it in writing?
481
00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:45,710
Yes.
482
00:19:45,784 --> 00:19:47,843
Look, Lois, you can
tell these clowns
483
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,388
whatever you want--
that I got on my knees
484
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:52,924
and begged you to come
back, I don't care.
485
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:56,428
I just want you and I to
know how things really are.
486
00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:13,876
That's not a signature.
487
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,709
No, it's more
of a suggestion.
488
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:17,772
''The horse you rode in on''
is optional.
489
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:18,976
Now, look--
490
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,177
No, you look.
491
00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:21,219
I don't deserve this.
492
00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:22,754
The only thing
I ever did wrong
493
00:20:22,821 --> 00:20:24,812
was all the work I did
to cover your butt.
494
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,222
We obviously have different
definitions of''wrong.''
495
00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:28,783
Yeah, I guess we do.
496
00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:30,351
For instance,
I think it's wrong
497
00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:32,420
for you to put your name
on sales reports
498
00:20:32,498 --> 00:20:33,760
that you didn't write.
499
00:20:33,832 --> 00:20:35,800
I think it's wrong you keep
a little bag of''herbs''
500
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:37,426
in your bottom left drawer.
501
00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:39,471
And slept with
the district manager's wife.
502
00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:41,369
And you want
to know something?
503
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,499
You don't even
have to worry about it
504
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:46,942
because I also think it's wrong
to blab this kind of thing.
505
00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:48,741
You know,
you should be so glad
506
00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:50,611
that I'm
the only one that knows
507
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:53,117
this stuff about you.
508
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:56,643
Anyone else here would sell you
down the river in a second.
509
00:20:59,725 --> 00:21:02,592
God, I am so much
better than you.
510
00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:08,625
( Clearing Throat )
511
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:19,240
Yeah, he just ran off
and quit for no reason.
512
00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:20,869
Huh, who knows why?
513
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:23,210
See, you do the right thing
514
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:26,445
and everything
works out for the best.
515
00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:29,679
Clean.
516
00:21:29,755 --> 00:21:33,350
I have Ho-Ho's-- real Ho-Ho's.
517
00:21:33,425 --> 00:21:35,222
You know,
I'm sure I'm neglecting
518
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:36,693
my spiritual side, but...
519
00:21:36,762 --> 00:21:38,024
money rules.
520
00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:39,689
The best part is
521
00:21:39,765 --> 00:21:43,166
I can finally get everything
straightened out with Julie.
522
00:21:43,235 --> 00:21:44,361
Hi, Malcolm.
523
00:21:44,436 --> 00:21:45,835
Look, we're not poor anymore!
524
00:21:45,904 --> 00:21:48,395
So I don't want any more
of your stupid pity, okay?
525
00:21:51,243 --> 00:21:53,040
That helped, right?
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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