All language subtitles for Magnum P.I. s08e03 Innocence A Broad.eng

When l'm working on a case
l'm kind of a lone wolf.

Do you supply a gun or
should l bring my own?

This may be the only
time in my life l get to go under cover.

What the hell is this?
You're trying to inhale my fiancé.

l cannot believe that
a hot shot P.l. like you is gonna wimp out on me.

l'm not wimping out.

Rita! Jump!

(SCREAMS)
Go!

(GUN FIRES)

MAGNUM: l have always
been a belíever ín seekíng fresh experíences,

learníng new thíngs.

My grandfather used to say,
''We should pattern our líves after físh.

''lf you don't keep swímmíng,
you díe.''

Now, l support every
creature's ríght to seIF-FuIFíllment.

But anythíng
can be overdone.

(DOG BARKING)

All right, Higgins,
you got me.

Maybe you have succeeded
in teaching them a couple of basic hand signals.

l have taught them
the complete Forbes-Davies Silent Sentry System.

Thirty-four distinct,
unvoiced commands.

But there is one
big flaw in your Forbes-Davies, Higgins.

What if someone gives
them a different command?

When the lads are working,
you don't exist for them, Magnum.

Unless l happen to
designate you as prey.

Prey?

Prey, Higgins?

Don't you think l should
know this prey signal?

Frankly, you should
know the whole system,

but you'll undoubtedly
shirk your duty to learn it.

Shirk? l don't shirk, Higgins.

Really?
Two weekends ago, you promised to assist me

with the new members party
for the Anglo-Hawaiian Investment Club,

but you went spear
fishing instead.

That was not shirking,
that was forgetting.

l'd been wanting to go spear
fishing for six months.

When the opportunity
presented itself,

it simply drove everything
else out of my head.

A remarkably easy feat.

(INTERCOM BUZZING)

Yes?

MAN: Uh, Benny Travís
to see Magnum.

(GROWLING)

Precisely.

Come on, Higgins,
Benny's not such a bad guy. Come to the main house, Benny.

How you can maintain a
relationship with someone

who is undoubtedly
the absolute dregs of your profession

is beyond human
comprehension.

Benny performs
a valuable service.

Someone has to take those
disgusting little cases

that lead through all
the sewers in Honolulu.

Besides, he's given
me some good tips.

(DOGS GROWLING)

(DOGS STOP GROWLING)

He's undoubtedly come
to you to secure an unsecured loan,

which you'll undoubtedly
try to borrow from me,

which l will
undoubtedly refuse.

You know, Higgins,
smugness is not one of your endearing qualities.

(KNOCKING)

Magnum, thank God
you're here.

Hi, Benny.

Hi, Hig.

So, Benny,

how's it going?

How's it going?
Is this a month or what?

l been chasing this
wandering hubby, and my motor burns out.

And then l'm tailing
this broad for three days

and l find out the broad
l'm tailing is the sister

(DOGS GROWLING)
of the broad l'm supposed to be tailing.

And then, to top it off,
two of my three clients

stiffed me with bad checks.
That's how it's going.

Well, l'm sorry to hear
about your troubles, Benny.

Actually, l haven't been
doing so well myself.

Ah, too bad,
'cause you know, l turned it around.

l mean, l got a great iob,
cash on the barrelhead.

Oh, yeah?

So you don't need
any financial help?

BENNY: No way.

ln fact...

(STUTTERING)
l'm on the job now. That's why l'm here.

Come on, call them off.

Cut it out, Higgins.
Put them outside.

Quit being such
a sore loser.

l have no idea what
you're talking about.

Say, is Robin Masters around?

Well, that's a good
question, Benny.

See, l have this
theory that...

You know perfectly well
Mr. Masters is in Europe.

Oh. Sorry, Benny,
no introduction today.

BENNY: Oh, that's all right,
you've done enough for me.

Jonathan Quayle Higgins,
in the absence of Robin Masters,

l'm officially serving you
these court documents

pertaining to a lawsuit
filed by Chester Bixby

against you and
the Masters estate.

Lawsuit?

What on earth are
you talking about?

Couple of weeks ago,
at a party here.

Mr. Bixby tripped over a loose
piece of carpeting and fell.

Oh, that chap.

He said he was fine.
It was just a little accident.

Well, now he's claiming
hidden back injuries,

pain and suffering,
mental stress.

Two million dollars' worth.
It's all in the documents.

And thanks for letting
me into this fortress.

l could have never
got in here without you.

See ya.

Thanks again.

Mr. Travis.

l have one question.

How are you planning
to get from this doorstep to your car?

(DOGS GROWLING)

Oh, wait! Wait a minute!

Hey! Open the door!

All right, how was l
supposed to know why he came here?

(DOGS BARKING)

(BENNY YELLING)

lt's not only this!
If you'd been at the party as you promised,

this Bixby fellow would
never had attempted that cheap charade.

(TIRES SQUEALING)
How do you know it was a charade?

l know.

And since you're in
charge of security here, it's your job to prove it.

Wait a minute.
Wait just a minute!

How come every time
there's a crummy job to be done,

l'm in charge of security?

But every time there's
big money to be spent

or credit to be taken,
you're in charge of security?

Because that is the order
of the universe.

T.C.: Macadamia nuts?

You want me to fly you
all the way to Maui for a jar of Macadamia nuts?

Of course not. There's also
pork rinds and potato chips, snacks for the trip.

l'm talking camaraderie here,
T.C., not commerce.

Sorry, comrade, l'm booked.
Day one of a five-day charter.

What's the big emergency
on Maui anyway?

l have to locate a flopper.

A flopper, huh?

(CHUCKLES)

You don't have to
go to Maui for that.

All you have to do is get
one of Rick's girlfriends in a string bikini.

A guy who takes falls
in public, T.C., and then sues for fake injuries.

A flopper.
Flopper?

Wasn't that the name
of the rabbit in Bambí?

No, no, no. Flopper,
the evil twin of Flipper.

That's not funny, T.C.,
it's not funny at all.

This guy's putting
the squeeze on a friend of ours.

Who?

Higgins.

Thought you said it
was a friend of ours.

l tracked this guy,
Bixby, to a local hotel, they said he's visiting Maui.

Couldn't we iust hop on over
before you clients get here?

l don't have the time,
nor the appetite.

Well, that's it, then.
You're forcing me into it.

There's no alternative.
What?

l'll have to do it.
l don't want to do it.

l don't think it's
completely my fault.

l think you will have to
share some of the blame.

Blame?

Blame for what?

Well, l'll have to
sign up for one of those

three-day, two-night
Maui excursions

with the money-back
guarantee and then,

once l get there
and do my business,

l'll have to lie about
being dissatisfied and get my money back.

That's disgusting.

How'd you think of it?

Benny Travis told me.
He takes all his vacations that way.

(CAR HONKING)

Looks like you've definitely
got a paying client this time.

Yeah.

Some big wheeler-dealer
from the mainland.

Hi.
T.C.: Hi.

One of you my pilot?

Uh, me.
Theodore Calvin.

Welcome to
Island Hoppers.

Oh, this is, uh,
Thomas Magnum.

He's my head
of security.

Hi, Joe Hatten,
President of E 8 N Industries.

You heard of me.

Uh, no, sorry.

l was in The Tímes
Iast month.

Joe.
What?

Everyone's been
introduced but...

Well, you got a mouth,
you wanna talk, talk.

Hi, l'm Rita Parks,
Joe's fiancé.

Pleased to meet you.
Pleased to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

You have such
a lovely island...

Okay, okay,
can it, huh?

l'm in garbage.

Of course, nowadays
everybody wants to call it waste management,

but it's garbage,
plain and simple.

Yeah, so is this
security business.

Excuse me.

l ain't ashamed
of what l do.

Hell, l dropped out
of ninth grade to work on a garbage truck.

Six years later,
l owned the whole damn route.

Now, l'm the biggest
garbage man on the East Coast.

Uh, congratulations.

l'm over here to
check out your problems, and you got plenty.

lf you don't get some new
Iandfill sites in the next couple of years,

you're all gonna be up to
your butts in wet garbage.

No kidding.

Maybe l should try
to corner the market on hip boots, huh?

(LAUGHING)

Hip boots,
that's pretty good, Magnum.

So, you're head of security
around here, huh?

l got one question.

What the hell have
you got to secure?

Oh, uh...

Thomas iust works
for me part-time.

He's one of the best private
investigators on the island.

You're a detective?

Uh, private investigator.

Like on TV?

Well it's not really like
that, not all the time.

Oh.

Oh, he's iust
being modest.

ln fact, he's working on a
really big case right now.

lt's not really a big case,
it's just a standard, uh, somewhat exotic, case.

Oh, you're a
detective in Hawaii.

Do you realize you have
one of the most exotic jobs in the whole world?

Oh, come on, tell us something
about one of your cases.

JOE: No, we got to go.

Just because your head's
already floating around in the clouds don't mean ours are.

Okay, uh...

l'm ready if you are.

Yeah, l should
be going, too.

Listen, uh, those excursion
flights leave pretty early.

Joe, nice to meet you.
Same here.

Bye-bye.

No glamour, huh?

Rita, get your tail
in this helicopter,

or you're gonna walk
back to the hotel.

MAGNUM: One of the pleasanter
after-effects of nearly meetíng your maker

ís a renewed sense
of the value of all lífe,

of every creature's ríght
to realíze íts full potentíal.

ln fact, l was quíte
pleased recently

when l managed to avoíd
steppíng on an ordínary garden snaíl.

Pleased that ít could
crawl on to fulfíll íts full garden snaíl potentíal.

So you are here.

Higgins.

l assumed you would be
out working on the case.

Don't you ever knock?

You've got company.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, such a nice
place you got here.

HIGGINS: Are you
all right, Magnum?

You seem a little
distracted lately.

Huh? Uh, l...
No, l'm fine.

You got this whole big estate
and you live in the bungalow?

Well, it's cozier here,
it's, uh,

more comfortable.
What brings you here, Rita?

JOE: l do!

Oh, it's Joe.
You're with Joe.

l know.

JOE: Hey, those two
Dobermans are dynamite.

l taught them to
fetch my wallet.

Bet they could do a real
job on a burglar, huh?

lndeed.

Zeus and Apollo are the best
trained canine sentries on this island.

Zeus and Apollo?

Don't you think those
names are a little poofy for attack dogs?

Poofy?
Higgins,

the sooner that, uh,

we finish our business here,
the sooner l can take care of that other matter.

Very well.

Perhaps the lads and l
will see you again.

Good night.

English butlers are
always so snooty.

l'd dump the guy, Magnum.

Yeah, well, he's been here
for years. l wouldn't feel right about it.

HIGGINS: Well done, Zeus.
Now, watch me carefully.

Listen,
can l get you a...

Magnum, we need to talk.

Did you solve
your case today?

Uh, sure.
Uh, not yet.

Oh, l ain't the type to beat
around the bush, Magnum, so, uh, here it is.

Did you get in any
gun battles or, like, fistfights?

Uh, no, l fired a couple of
warning shots at the teller who short-changed me but...

(DOG BARKING)
HIGGINS: Steady on, Apollo.

Rita here is tired of flying
around looking at landfill sites.

Oh, l'll bet you had
some great chases in that sports car.

Hey, can it, will you?
Can't you see l'm trying to talk business here?

As l was saying, she keeps
yapping about this private detective racket.

So, uh, l was wondering
if maybe, uh...

Maybe she could tag along
with you for a couple of days.

No offense, Joe, l...

That's not
a good idea.

See, Rita,
when l'm working on a case, l'm kind of a lone wolf.

l'll pay you 600 a day.

$6oo?

A day.

Well...

HIGGINS: Rip and shred, lads,
destroy the enemy!

Rip and shred!

(DOGS GROWLING)

Uh, that's a very
generous offer.

But, l mean, if it was another
case with another client...

l iust can't.
No, l... No, l can't.

Hey, no problem.
l wouldn't do it if l were you.

Just because her yammering
is driving me nuts,

is no reason you
should go through it.

Didn't l tell you
it was a dumb idea, that he'd never go for it?

Let's get out
of here.

Guess l'm iust
being stupid again.

No, wait a minute, now.

HIGGINS: Destroy the enemy.
What the heck.

Even a lone wolf could
use some good company now and then.

You'll do it?

(EXCLAIMS)

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

All right, yeah, okay.

That's more like it.

So, Magnum,
what changed your mind?

A garden snail.

This is so great.

Do you supply a gun or
should l bring my own?

(CAMERA CLICKS)

(CAMERA CLICKS)

So that's Chester Bixby.

ln person.

l wish he'd have
stayed on Maui. He ruined my trip.

Yeah, but Rita,

this makes our
investigation easier.

Now, all we have
to do is be patient.

lt'll probably be
a long surveillance,

but eventually, if we're
Iucky, we'll catch him pulling a phony fall, see?

Hey, you think
he's packing heat?

No, l don't think so,
some Bengay, maybe.

Yeah, there he is.
Yeah, l thought so.

He's down by
the dairy products.

He'll probably spill something
on the floor and pretend to slip in it.

That makes the store
more liable. Poor maintenance.

WOMAN OVER P.A. :
Can l get a príce check on seven, please?

(CAMERA CLICKS)

Oh, l'm sorry. Excuse me.
They're having this special on water chestnuts.

lt's my favorites.

You like Chinese food?
l love it.

You know, l grew up down
the street from the only Chinese restaurant in Olathe.

Olathe?

Kansas?
You're from Kansas?

Yeah.

Me and Dorothy
and Toto, too.

Yeah, l was the skinniest,
buck-toothed kid from the wrong side of the tracks

until l hit about
fifteen or so, and then...

Then, guys wanted
to do things for me, buy things for me.

Yeah, l can imagine.

Uh, you didn't meet,
uh, Joe in Olathe?

No, Kansas City.

You see, l was a cocktail
waitress at a private club.

One night, these two
city officials came in, they were drunk.

They started hassling me,
and Joe shows up, like, right out of the blue.

And he threatened to bust
their heads open and then get them fired.

'Cause you know what,
he had the mayor's home phone number.

l couldn't believe it.

Your knight in
shining armor, huh?

Yeah, l guess so.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

You like oranges?

Uh-huh.

l love oranges.

l'm gonna grab
us a couple.

Let me see.

You know, l don't know why
they have to put the good ones on the bottom.

No!

You can't fool around on
a surveillance mission.

lf you draw
attention to yourself, the whole assignment is over,

understand?

Sixty-two dollars worth
of bruised oranges.

Oh, iust put it on
your expense report.

Joe expects me to
do things like this.

l'm always wrecking cars,
l drop vases, spill oranges.

lt's not iust that, Rita.
We blew our surveillance.

Bixby's long gone.

All we can do now is go
back and hang around his hotel till he shows up.

There he is!
What?

No kidding.

This must be
our lucky day.

(CAMERA CLICKING)

RITA: Oh, my God!

(WHOOPING)

RITA: Oh, my God!
He's hit! He's dead!

No, he's not.
This is his scam. Come on.

Are you trying to say
he did that on purpose?

Yeah! He picks out
an expensive car,

he does a stuntman's
roll over the hood,

and he'll sue
the driver blind.

He's hurt.
Don't worry, he's fine.

He's dead.

Somebody call the police.

Oh.

(PANTING)

Uh, come on,
Iet's go back to the car.

No, no. l got to get
used to stuff like this.

We got a iob to do.
What job?

We got to search
that body for clues.

Rita...

You know, like...
Like a matchbook,

or a little piece of paper
with a phone number on it,

or a little black book,
you know, clues.

Rita, this is
a major felony. The police are coming.

How could anybody
possibly search this body

for clues in front of
all these witnesses?

RITA: Chester! Oh, baby!

Chester! Oh, my God,
Chester, baby!

MAGNUM: Excuse me, uh,
l'm a friend of the family.

No, that's okay,
Phoebe, come on.

Come on, Phoebe.
No, it's all right.

lt's fine, come on.
Come on. No, don't do that.

Come on, have a good cry,
that's all right, there we go.

What are you doing and
what did you take out of his pocket?

Pretty slick, huh?

No, you're tampering
with evidence.

You're gonna get
us both arrested.

Okay, fine.
l'll put it back.

No, wait. Never mind.
Let's go.

Right, it's the
Sunset Harbor Club.

No, we're going
to your hotel.

Now, listen, Rita,
the case is over, it's lying back there on the road.

But he just got murdered,
or manslaughtered or something.

Well, uh, that's
a police matter.

l was hired to stop him
from filing a false lawsuit. That's all.

l cannot believe that
a hot shot P.l. like you is gonna wimp out on me.

l'm not wimping out.

l'm behaving like a
professional private investigator.

lf you wanna quit,
fine, quit.

l will continue the
investigation on my own.

Taxi!

Rita.

You're being
silly about this.

l'm not gonna
run after you.

l mean it!

MAGNUM: Enthusíasm can be
a very attractíve qualíty.

But Ríta had too
much of a good thíng.

She remínded me
of Mínníe Mínoso playíng baseball.

Once whíle tryíng to
make a dívíng catch,

he slíd head fírst
ínto the outfíeld wall and fractured hís skull.

But not that Ríta was ín
any kínd of physícal danger.

The chances of her
makíng any contact

wíth authentíc crímínal
types were mícroscopíc, ínfínítesímal.

You came! l knew it,
l knew you wouldn't desert me, l knew it.

Shh. Okay, now remember,
l'm just doing this to humor you.

A professional private
investigator would never

waste his time on a
Iong shot like this, here.

What's this?

That's the surveillance
photos of Bixby.

l mean, if you're gonna ask
questions about somebody,

you got to learn
to do it right. No half measures.

l'll remember that.

Welcome,
what can l get you?

Uh, Old Dusseldorf
in a long neck.

Coming right up.

Say, you've brightened
up this young lady. What's your secret?

lt's simple. We're on
our honeymoon!

BARTENDER: No wonder.
Congratulations. This round's on me.

Say, you're a lucky guy
to grab a looker like this.

Bet she can cook, too.

Oh, she's full
of surprises.

(RITA SIGHS CONTENTLY)

What are you doing?

Look, this may be
the only time in my life l get to go under cover.

l want to play a role.

Besides,

is being married to
me so unbelievable?

No, no. Never mind.

Just take this
photo, uh...

This one of Bixby, and ask
if anybody recognizes him.

And remember,
never lie unless you absolutely have to.

Never lie.

BARTENDER: Cheers.
Hi.

My cousin lives
in the neighborhood.

l hear he comes in here a lot.
His name's Chester or Chet. You recognize him?

He doesn't look familiar.

,
Hmm, well

l guess l got my
neighborhoods confused.

WOMAN: Two Mai Tais
and a scotch and soda.

(SIGHS)

Like l said,
a complete waste of time.

Yes, this is
definitely the guy.

Four nights ago,
he fell in the men's room,

claimed there was dried
soap on the floor.

Said he was gonna sue,
made a big fuss.

And the employees
here now saw that?

Most of them.
l'll tell you something else,

that guy was lying.

When l scrub a floor,
there's no damn soap Ieft on it!

No, l'm sure there's not.
Thanks a lot, uh...

Martha.

So long shots
sometimes do pay off.

Well, that's unbelievable.

lt's completely
unbelievable.

Of course, all it
really proves is that

Bixby's trying to
pull a scam on other people here in Hawaii.

But it would definitely
help our case.

lf we had a case,
which we don't.

We're making up
a neW One.

Why are all these people lying
about recognizing Bixby?

Maybe the owner told
everybody to shut up because of the lawsuit.

No, no. Uh-uh.

l'm not getting
sucked into this. Come on, let's go.

Come on. No way.

Martha.

One more question.
Who owns this place?

Officially, a company
called CBE Enterprises.

But the rumor is...

A boxer?

No, a mobster.

MAGNUM: We're awfully late,
Ríta, and from what l've seen,

l'd bet Joe has
a real Irísh temper.

Yeah, but l can
handle him.

MAGNUM: l'm just saying
that you should be prepared for the possibility that

Joe might, well...
Who knows what he might do?

RITA: Don't be silly.
All l have to do is be perky. Joe loves it when l am perky.

(KNOCKING)

Where the hell
have you been?

Joe, l had
the best time.

And l had dinner reservations
45 minutes ago! l'm starving!

l'm sorry, Joe.

Look, l took Rita to the other
side of the island, and

we got involved.
In something.

A crime, Joe!
There was this crook, got hit by a car,

l found a clue,
and then l found a witness, there were police...

Clam up, will you?
l don't care about none of that.

l care about your being
here when l say so.

Or l ain't footing
the bill for this.

l understand, Joe,

and you're right,
but it's my fault Rita's late.

She drove you nuts, huh?

What'd she do?
Blow the whole case?

No, l didn't.

Nobody's talking to you.
Can't you see the guy's begging to be rid of you?

Now, wait a minute,
Joe, that's not strictly true.

Rita was very helpful.

Call it luck,
call it good fortune, but, uh...

The point is she had
a knack for making the right move today.

Wait, wait a minute.

Are you saying you
want her to stay on the case with you?

Well, yes, l do.

Not that it's gonna be
as easy as it was today, Rita.

Don't worry, coach.

When you're hot,
you're hot.

Are you saying you've been
squiring this young woman around town

instead of working
on my case?

Your case?

Your case, Higgins?
Not Robin Masters' case?

What're you
writing there?

Stop trying to distract me
from your malfeasance.

You can't be doing a proper
investigative job if you're entertaining some woman.

Oh, but l can, Higgins.
In fact, your case is settled.

Now, isn't this the next great
Robin Masters masterpiece?

What do you mean
the case is settled? Already?

Absolutely.
l can guarantee you

that Chester Bixby will not
pursue his lawsuit against you or the estate.

Why not?

He's dead. He was run over
by a car this morning.

Well, Magnum, l must say,
while l appreciate your enthusiasm,

having him sign a release
would have been quite sufficient.

Ha.

That's a lot
of garbage.

T.C.: Ten square miles of it.
And l've hovered over every inch.

Talk about smell.

Hey. How high up can
you smell it?

What?
1,OOO feet? 5,OOO feet?

What difference
does that make?

Well, you know,
guys bet on weird things sometimes.

A little inside
info can't hurt.

(CHUCKLES)

So, what do you think
about Joe Hatten, T.C.?

He's okay.

Kind of a loudmouth,
likes to talk about how much he's made

and how well-connected
he is on the mainland.

(T.C. CLEARS THROAT)

But l think you're having
a much better time with his young lady friend.

Let me guess,
she's gorgeous, right?

And friendly. Whoo!

All right, now,
hold it right there.

Rita is a client.
We have a purely professional relationship.

Kind of like a
doctor and a patient.

Right.

''Come into my office, my dear,
and disrobe, and we'll discuss the case.''

That is...
That is not what l meant.

l mean, she's a sweet girl
but she's a little too intense for my taste.

You know, l had to lie
about having an emergency dental appointment

just to get
this little break.

Oh, l'd better go
if l want to get in a round of golf.

Besides, Joe might want
to go up this afternoon.

See you.
All right.

That's not fair, Rick.
A client's a client. Period. so...

Could you...
l need...

Go ahead.
No, no, no, you go first.

All right.

Look, Thomas, l need a favor,
but you got to promise me it's gonna be a secret.

And what's the problem?

Bugs.

l found one the size
of a St. Bernard crawling across my face this morning.

Yeah?

Thomas, do you remember when
you borrowed that fumigation equipment to go undercover?

You knew what you were
doing with that stuff, right?

Well, sure, but
why don't you just hire a professional exterminator?

What, are you kidding?
Don't you know what those guys do?

They come in your house
and they spray a bunch of phony insecticide around,

then they plant a whole
bunch of new bugs all over the place.

Rick, why would
they do that?

Because they tell you
you have infestation

and that it's gonna take
years of treatment to get rid of it

and mucho loot.

Come on, admit it,
it's not the money, it's the bugs!

Well, uh, either way,
l mean... Hey, look,

you're the only one l trust.
You got to do this for me, Thomas.

Oh, boy.

That's a pretty
messy job, and l'm...

Oh, boy, l'm really
very busy. l got it.

l might be able to squeeze it
in if you could check out a company named CBE Enterprises.

l'm taking off like
a toupee in a hurricane. How soon can you spray?

How about later today?

Oh, looks like you
got them here, too, look!

(MAGNUM LAUGHING)

Thomas!

RITA: Do you really think
the Sunset Harbor Club is owned by mobsters?

Well, Martha thinks so,
and Rick should be able to tell us for sure.

Trust me.

Don't you think
approaching him like this is a little weird?

No. It'll be great.
He'll love it.

See, Rick is really
afraid of bugs,

and everybody knows that
fear makes things funnier.

You just wait.

(MAGNUM LAUGHING)

This'll be a scream.

Come on, Rick,
where'd you go?

Oh, my God!
What?

l iust realized why he's
not answering the door.

The mobsters must've
found out we were onto them,

and they came here
to shut Rick up. He's dead!

That's ridiculous.

He's probably
out by the pool.

RITA: Yeah?

You said Bixby
was alive, too.

l'm telling you, Rita,
he's not dead!

Rick!

Rick!

Hey, hey, what's going on?
Get away from me!

(SCREAMING)

Help! Jeez! What?

Rick, Rick,
it's me, Thomas!

What are you? Some kind
of nut? What're you trying to do, Thomas?

Save your life!
You idiot!

MAGNUM: It was just meant
to be a little joke, that's all. It snowballed.

l told him
it was weird.

(MAGNUM LAUGHING)

Weird, huh?

Sick is more like it.

Oh, sure.

But it's perfectly normal
to float face down in a swimming pool.

l had a date last
night, damn it!

We went for a moonlight swim,
and she lost a charm off of her necklace,

and l was trying
to find it, okay?

Fine, fine.

A moonlight swim,
see, that's really romantic.

Did you go
skinny dipping?

What about CBE Enterprises?

Why should l tell you
anything that l learned?

Rick, Thomas iumped in
to save you because he cared.

Yeah.

Well, your source was right.

The real owner of CBE
and the Sunset Harbor Club is Serge Burgos.

Serge Burgos?

Wait a minute,
is this a payback for the bug mask?

Hey, Thomas, l don't kid
around about members of organized crime.

And all my sources
gave me the same advice.

Stay away from this guy
because he kills people for the fun of it.

So, what's next?

l think it's very
unprofessional of you to stop our investigation early.

Rita, you heard
what Rick said,

Serge Burgos is
a career criminal, a mobster.

See, that's all the more
reason that he should be caught.

Well, not by us.
By the police, maybe.

What are we gonna tell them?
We don't even know why Burgos killed Chester Bixby.

Yes, we do.
We do, maybe.

l think Burgos is using
the Sunset Harbor Club for some sort of illegal activity,

drug distribution, probably,
and that's why he doesn't want to reveal his ownership.

What's this have
to do with Bixby?

Bixby took the phony
fall at the club. He threatened to sue.

The courts would've
found out that Burgos was the owner,

SO...

So he killed
him for that?

Because he happened
to pull his little scam in the wrong men's room?

Gee, this guy plays rough.

That's what l've been
trying to tell you.

lt's over.

End of lesson.

Okay, okay, okay.

Would you iust do
one more favor for me?

What, Rita?

Tell me the truth,
Thomas.

You're not really
giving up on this case,

you're just saying
that to get rid of me.

That's not true.

l mean, these last two
days have been the most thrilling of my life.

And it's not iust because
of the detective work.

lt's because of
being with you.

Well, that's
nice of you...

JOE: Rita!

What the hell is this?

Joe, it's not what
it looks like.

Oh, it's not?

Well, it looks like you're
trying to inhale my fiancé.

Oh, please, Joe, please,
it was just a little kiss.

Don't make a
federal case...

l'll make any damn
thing l want out of it!

l know a lot of big people
in this town, Magnum.

People who could give
you major problems.

And of course,
there's Bart here.

There's nothing going
on between Rita and me.

You got that right,
'cause you're out of here.

You're fired.

Joe, no!
No that... It's okay.

lt's really the best
solution, believe me.

Thomas...
l'm sorry, Joe.

Bye, Rita.

MAGNUM: l know
what you're thínkíng.

lf l had planned just to tell
the políce my suspícíons and forget about thís case,

why was l wastíng the day
watchíng Serge Burgos cultívate skín cancer?

I'll tell you why.

Don Wagner.

When l was thírteen years old,
l played Don Wagner ín the cíty tennís tournament.

He took prívate lessons
at the country club,

and l just pícked up
the game ín the park.

He made fun of my
ground strokes

whíle we were warmíng up,
and l knew l had to beat hím.

So, l ran and díved and deked
and made ímpossíbly lucky shots untíl l won.

Last níght l realízed
l'd become the Don Wagner of prívate ínvestígators.

Smug, complacent.

Ríta was runníng and dívíng

and makíng ímpossíbly
Iucky connectíons to buíld thís case.

l needed to get back
on her síde of the net,

to try to close
out the set for her.

Of course, the ídeal thíng
would be to connect Burgos to the hít-and-run car,

but l knew that was
pretty fa_etched.

So, l was probably wastíng
my tíme on a long shot,

but Ríta deserved a couple
of days of my tíme.

Besídes, her long
shots usually hít.

Rick!

What are you
doing here?

You're gonna owe me
two more fumigations for this little favor.

What?

What do you think,
it's easy to get good body mike equipment

at such short notice?

Body mike?

Very smart of you to have
Rita talk me into it.

At least you could have told
me that her boyfriend was that mobster's buddy.

Thomas, l might have said
something in front of her.

Joe and Burgos are friends?

l know that now.

But l'm not so sure l should
have let her wear that wire to dinner with Burgos.

She's wearing a wire?
Right now?

l do nice work,
l mean...

Of all the stupid...
You should have asked me first!

Well, you might have
said you're welcome!

MAGNUM: There's one
major drawback to runníng and dívíng

and goíng full tílt at
a crímínal ínvestígatíon.

Sometímes the thríll
of the chase

leads to a reckless dísregard
for your own welfare.

Partly because of me,

Ríta was crossíng
that líne.

SERGE OVER WIRE:
Here's our table, ríght over here.

Hold it, Joe.
Where's your couth?

lt's supposed to be
boy-girl-boy-girl.

JOE: ...and thís cíty
councílman was crucífyíng me

because he saíd my trucks
made too much noíse ín the early morníng.

So, what did you do?

That night l dumped six
truckloads on his front lawn,

and he slept through
it like a baby.

RITA: Joe, l want to hear
everythíng Mr. Burgos has to say.

(LAUGHING)

Joe tells me you own
some real estate, Mr. Burgos.

Do you own
any nightclubs?

No.

Shopping centers, mainly.

Why do you ask?

Oh, no reason.
l like nightclubs. l think they're fun.

BODYGUARD: Hey!

No, excuse me,
eXCUSe Me.

JOE: What're you
doing here?

l don't mean to
interrupt your dinner,

l iust need to speak
to Rita for just a minute.

About what?

About that surprise that
l was arranging for Joe.

Oh, that. Well, um,
l cancelled that.

l thought of something else.

Uh, that's not a very
wise decision, Rita.

You heard her,
Magnum, clear out.

l really think you
should reconsider, Rita.

All right, uh,
you've had your say.

Please leave quietly,
or l'll have you removed.

What's his story?

Name's Magnum.
Just some bozo P.l. l hired to entertain Rita.

That's private investigator.

A P.l, huh?

You sure that
was a good idea?

l'm sure it was
a terrible idea.

He takes her on this
simple little tail job,

and the guy they're
shadowing gets run down at some shopping center.

Yeah, poor old Mr. Johnson,
and 84 years old.

What're you babbling about?
He was younger than that.

Name was Pixley or Benchley,
something like that.

You know, l iust realized
l do have to talk to Thomas.

Like hell you do!

Joe, let go of me
or l'll drown you.

You're a real bimbo,
you know that?

(HONKING)

Thomas, Joe told Burgos
about the case!

l heard. Let's go!

They have to be
taken care of. Both of them.

Hey, it's out
of my hands!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

This is great!

(GUN FIRES)

Well, come on,
Iet's shoot back. Where's your gun?

Where's yours?

Yeah, right. A concealed
weapon in this dress? You've got to be kidding!

Where is it?

At the Estate.

(GUN FIRES)

No gun?

A detective
with no gun?

lt's private investigator!

(TIRE POPS)

Come on, find them!
Find them!

(HONKING)

JOE: Rita!

Rita! Jump!

l ain't talking to you,
Joe Hatten, till you take back calling me a bimbo.

He didn't mean it!

JOE: Rita, jump!

All right, l'm sorry
l called you a bimbo. Jump, damn it!

Oh, that truck's
full of garbage.

(RITA EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

Rita, they got guns.

(GUN FIRES)

Let's go!

Go!

JOE: It's the same song
whenever l come to a new cíty.

There's always
a guy like Burgos.

l have to wine and dine him,
and then pay him off

so l don't have trouble with
my equipment or the unions.

lt's outrageous to have
to deal with such men.

Hey, that's the business.

But l did sort of enioy seeing
Burgos draw some hard time.

You know, Higgins,
Magnum's got himself one sweet layout here.

You must enioy
working for him.

lt's an experience.

As you can see,
Mr. Magnum takes an inordinate

pride in his dedication
to the horticultural arts.

Yeah.

J
If he ever wants to sell this'd make a hell

(DOGS GROWLING)

(DOGS STOP GROWLING)

l think not.

You know, Thomas,
before all this,

the biggest accomplishment
in my life was carrying a tray of drinks

across a bar while being
propositioned once and pinched three times.

l wasn't half bad
with this detective stuff, was l?

Oh, you were much
better than that.

All you needed was

a little push.

l'm not gonna
forget that.

l'm not gonna
forget any of it.

You know, Thomas,
you're the first guy l ever met who treated me nice

and didn't ask for
anything in return.

Thank you.

JOE: Rita!

What do you think
you're doing?

Oh, Joe, l'm sorry.
It was just that l felt...

Joe, you're treating
me like a child again. l'm a person.

l'm an adult human being.

Now, you want me
to stay with you,

you start treating
me like an adult.

Otherwise, l'm coming back
here and l'm gonna become partners with Thomas.

She's right, Joe.

We made quite a team.
Rita's got great potential.

Don't give me that.
Do l look stupid or something?

This next case should
be a good one, Rita.

lt seems our client
believes a famous author

is having all his books
ghost-written by a family servant.

(DOGS GROWLING)

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