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1
00:00:04,237 --> 00:00:07,035
We're trapped on an island
that's used for gunnery practice.
2
00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:08,199
We're all gonna die.
3
00:00:08,274 --> 00:00:10,640
(Magnum)
Who's gonna order gunnery exercises on Christmas Eve?
4
00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:13,201
l am.
By the time we're through, l don't want to see an ant...
5
00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:14,371
left alive in that place.
6
00:00:14,447 --> 00:00:17,348
There are no pirates
or cannibals on this island.
7
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:18,941
There is nothing
on this island.
8
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,317
Hurry up! Throw me a vine!
l'm going down quick!
9
00:00:21,388 --> 00:00:24,084
(Higgins)My last will and testament.
10
00:00:24,157 --> 00:00:26,216
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
11
00:00:26,292 --> 00:00:28,123
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪♪
12
00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:29,884
We're gonna die.
13
00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:31,225
Oh, my God.
14
00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:40,189
(Magnum)One of the thingsabout Paradise...
15
00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:41,631
that takes somegetting used to...
16
00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:44,261
is the change of seasons.There aren't any.
17
00:01:44,337 --> 00:01:46,805
I mean, there arerainy seasonsand dryer times...
18
00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:50,172
but no real winter, summer,spring and fall.
19
00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:54,373
It's just one more beautifulsunset blending into anothergorgeous sunrise...
20
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:57,575
into another exquisite sunset.And so on.
21
00:01:57,650 --> 00:02:01,086
So, sometimes the only wayyou know it'sthe Christmas season...
22
00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:04,885
is by looking at the calendaror by going intothe department stores...
23
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,155
or by just lookingat the flush of goodwilland cheer...
24
00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:09,889
on the faces of your friends.
25
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,363
(T.C.)
You don't like it, you can all just go ahead and jump.
26
00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:14,297
(Rick)
Well, this isn't fair. We're gonna be late...
27
00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:15,800
because you overbooked us.
28
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:17,928
Who says?
(all) We do!
29
00:02:18,004 --> 00:02:19,528
Well, you get
what you pay for.
30
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:20,732
And none of you paid.
31
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,741
Where is your holiday spirit?
32
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,367
Back home in New Orleans.
33
00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:27,811
Which is where l'm gonna be
as soon as Captain Calvin's Charity Chopper...
34
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,348
drops all you
freeloaders off.
35
00:02:29,415 --> 00:02:31,178
(Higgins)
l am not a freeloader.
36
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:34,482
Mr. Masters will
remunerate you for your time and service.
37
00:02:34,554 --> 00:02:36,681
Yeah,
one out of three ain't bad.
38
00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:38,781
Even after l drop you
off on Molokai...
39
00:02:38,858 --> 00:02:40,826
l still gotta drop
Orville off on Maui.
40
00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:43,124
Then l gotta take
Thomas to the Big lsland.
41
00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:45,130
(Magnum)
lt's just a slight detour, T.C.
42
00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:48,964
Yeah, and then bust my blades
getting back to the Honolulu lnternational...
43
00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:50,525
to catch the red-eye
back home.
44
00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:53,163
(Magnum)
Yeah, but doesn't it feel good to be doing this?
45
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:54,263
For your friends?
46
00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:55,329
No.
47
00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:57,342
The gift of giving.
And taking.
48
00:02:57,410 --> 00:03:00,243
Now, come on, T.C.,
you're just being silly.
49
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:01,473
Me?
50
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:02,572
[laughs]
51
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:04,014
Me, silly?
52
00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:06,611
Come on, guys,
l'm doing this for a good cause.
53
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,779
Ho, ho, ho, Magnum.
54
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,517
Hey, come on,
this is a mission of mercy.
55
00:03:11,591 --> 00:03:13,559
l'm gonna spend
my entire Christmas...
56
00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:15,560
entertaining those
little kids.
57
00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:17,562
And their grown-up teacher.
58
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:18,722
Sheryl.
59
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:22,794
(Magnum)
Hey, what about Tiny Tim up here?
60
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,302
That's not funny.
61
00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:27,203
Yeah. The First Annual
Santa's Little Helper...
62
00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:29,605
Beauty Contest at Lahaina.
63
00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:30,938
(Rick)
l'm a judge.
64
00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:33,444
Judge not, lest you be judged.
65
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:34,908
What?
66
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:37,643
(T.C.)
He meant you're going to owe me for this one.
67
00:03:38,251 --> 00:03:41,220
Santa's Little Helpers.
Bah, humbug.
68
00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:43,152
(Higgins)
My sentiments precisely.
69
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:46,750
The tawdry trivialization
and cheap commercialization...
70
00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:49,317
of perhaps the most sacred
moment in human history...
71
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:51,989
indeed typifies
the decay and decline...
72
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,363
of Western Civilization
as we know it.
73
00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:56,664
l thought l was just going
to judge a beauty contest.
74
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,704
Yeah, and what's this
urgent business...
75
00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:01,535
you have for Robin Masters
on Molokai, Higgins?
76
00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:04,907
The foreman of Mr. Masters'
banana plantation suddenly quit.
77
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:08,175
The workers are without their
Christmas bonuses. l'm to....
78
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,681
[whirring]
79
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,209
Uh-oh.
80
00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:12,273
What?
81
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,079
(Higgins)
The tail rotor? Uh-huh.
82
00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:19,454
High frequency vibes.
(Rick) ls that serious?
83
00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:23,859
Depends how badly you want
to stay up in the air. l gotta put her down.
84
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,192
(Higgins)
Where?
85
00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:32,094
Frenchman's lsland?
86
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,590
(Rick)
T.C., does it have to be here?
87
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:56,754
(T.C.)
Well, either we land here or we swim.
88
00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:59,354
Extraordinary.
Takes me back to the time--
89
00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:01,400
(Magnum)
Not now, Higgins.
90
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:03,025
Hold on.
91
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:22,649
[crashing]
92
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:29,519
You guys all right
back there?
93
00:05:29,595 --> 00:05:30,994
Actually, we're fine.
94
00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:34,594
Magnum's beard seems
to be slightly askew, but other than that--
95
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,033
(T.C.)
l don't want to hear it, Higgins.
96
00:05:43,142 --> 00:05:45,007
Hey, you know
what this place is?
97
00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:46,409
Of course.
lt's an island.
98
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:49,812
lt's a free-fire island.
The Navy uses it for gunnery practice.
99
00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:53,010
Yeah, but it doesn't look like
it's been shelled around here in a long time.
100
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:56,783
Extraordinary.
The last time l was under live artillery fire...
101
00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:57,982
was in the Suez.
102
00:05:58,624 --> 00:06:00,091
(Higgins)
As you can well imagine--
103
00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:01,922
Higgins,
l don't want to hear it.
104
00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:04,554
Go get me the tool box.
105
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:05,824
[birds chirping]
106
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,565
Hurry up, will you,
Higgins?
107
00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:10,329
This place gives me
the creeps.
108
00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:11,495
(Higgins)
Quite.
109
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:17,738
Although what you are feeling,
would more aptly be described as the willies.
110
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:22,143
Come on, guys.
Let's back up and give T.C. some breathing space.
111
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,979
l'm sure
whatever the problem is, it's relatively minor.
112
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,450
Just a loose nut or something.
113
00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:28,214
He'll just find it,
tighten that sucker up.
114
00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:29,914
We'll be out of here.
115
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,020
[sighing]
116
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,299
All right. Got it.
117
00:06:42,268 --> 00:06:46,432
Just a loose bolt
in my pitch change link. The cotter pin came out.
118
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:48,667
Good. That means
we can get out of here.
119
00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:51,272
Yeah, you got it, buddy.
Just go hop right in.
120
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:52,936
Thanks, T.C.
Good work.
121
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,944
Thank you, T.C.
l knew you can do it.
122
00:06:55,014 --> 00:06:57,312
Ho, ho!
Hello, Santa's Little Helpers.
123
00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,141
Bye-bye, barrage.
124
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,152
[mumbling]
Watch your hand.
125
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:15,030
[exhaling]
126
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,902
Well, l guess
those banana workers...
127
00:07:16,969 --> 00:07:18,596
will have their Christmas
after all.
128
00:07:18,671 --> 00:07:20,730
And those orphans.
(Higgins) Pity.
129
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:23,275
What?
Nothing. Nothing.
130
00:07:23,342 --> 00:07:25,572
l was just thinking
of the fun we could have had.
131
00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:28,443
Fun? Come on, T.C.
Let's hit it.
132
00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:32,984
(T.C.)
l'm trying.
133
00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:34,041
[buzzing]
134
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,109
Damn.
135
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,281
What's going on?
l don't know.
136
00:07:37,356 --> 00:07:38,414
l do.
137
00:07:38,691 --> 00:07:40,921
This oversized eggbeater
isn't starting.
138
00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:43,721
We are going to stay
right here.
139
00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:45,864
This is your fault, T.C.
140
00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:47,661
My fault?
Why is it my fault?
141
00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:50,133
(Rick)
You got it, because you overbooked us.
142
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:52,296
Oh, guys, guys. Calm down.
143
00:07:52,371 --> 00:07:54,601
Quit arguing.
Let's be rational.
144
00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:56,107
Everything's gonna
be all right.
145
00:07:56,175 --> 00:07:58,370
T.C. will find the problem
and fix it.
146
00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:01,136
l mean, so what
if we are gonna be here a little while longer...
147
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:03,307
maybe an hour or two.
148
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:06,010
Who's gonna order
gunnery exercises on Christmas Eve?
149
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,646
(Quintin)I am.
150
00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:10,349
Commencing at 2400 hours.
151
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,253
That's midnight
Christmas Eve, sir.
152
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,485
l mean, the men thought....
153
00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:14,821
The men thought?
154
00:08:15,194 --> 00:08:19,426
That is, this is a time
when the men want to be with their families, sir.
155
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,933
Are you aware, Ensign,
of the absolute abysmal record...
156
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:23,593
of this ship
in field marksmanship?
157
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:26,832
Yes, sir, in our
last exercises we were-- Dead last.
158
00:08:26,906 --> 00:08:29,466
Yes, sir. But l'm certain
we can do better next time.
159
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,009
You're damn right
they'll do better.
160
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,045
They'll do better because
every man in this unit...
161
00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:35,239
is gonna learn the meaning
of the word dedication.
162
00:08:36,315 --> 00:08:37,976
l am not gonna
be embarrassed...
163
00:08:38,050 --> 00:08:40,075
the next time
their scores are posted.
164
00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:42,619
We understand each other?
165
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:43,780
Yes, sir.
166
00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:49,322
What do you want me to do,
sir?
167
00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:53,293
What l want you to do
is to cancel all leaves.
168
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,765
Select targets.
169
00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:57,568
And set sail immediately
for Frenchman's lsland.
170
00:08:58,337 --> 00:09:00,464
And when we get there,
destroy it.
171
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:03,374
By the time we're through,
l don't want to see an ant...
172
00:09:03,442 --> 00:09:04,909
left alive in that place.
173
00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:06,376
Aye, aye, sir.
174
00:09:11,984 --> 00:09:13,178
[seagulls cawing]
175
00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:17,080
How long?
l don't know.
176
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:18,646
Oh, that's great.
Just great.
177
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:20,589
Now l'm gonna miss
the beauty pageant.
178
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:21,888
Possibly.
179
00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:23,724
But think
of the glorious adventure...
180
00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:25,388
we can have here on this isle.
181
00:09:25,464 --> 00:09:28,365
l don't like adventures.
What's wrong with this thing?
182
00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:29,560
(T.C.)
l don't know.
183
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:32,103
lt could be the exciter.
lt could be the points.
184
00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:34,935
Hey, why don't
you just bang on it, with a ball peen hammer...
185
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:38,272
like you did
that time in Bin Loc? lt started right up.
186
00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:40,312
Because it might
not be the exciter.
187
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:42,108
We've only got one shot
with that thing.
188
00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:44,411
We make a mistake,
we melt the whole engine down.
189
00:09:44,483 --> 00:09:45,507
Melt the engine?
190
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,782
Yeah, then it could
be the voltage regulator, it could be the battery...
191
00:09:48,854 --> 00:09:51,015
it could be the ignition,
it could be the starter button.
192
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:53,081
l don't know.
l gotta check everything. This could take--
193
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:56,094
Days.
What a marvelous challenge.
194
00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:59,188
Just the four of us
against the elements. Survival of the fittest.
195
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,062
What are you talking about?
What elements?
196
00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:03,727
Man against nature.
Civilization versus--
197
00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:06,067
Higgins, this is not
a boy scout overnight.
198
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:08,572
We're trapped
on an island that's used for gunnery practice.
199
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:09,733
We're all gonna
die here.
200
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:11,674
Oh, Rick, take it easy.
Nobody's gonna die.
201
00:10:11,744 --> 00:10:14,770
Come here, give me a hand
with this, will you? Come on.
202
00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:16,474
l mean, no one is
going to authorize...
203
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:18,540
gunnery exercises
on Christmas Eve.
204
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,313
lt's real simple.
l'll just get on the radio...
205
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:21,910
call the Coast Guard.
206
00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:23,888
And they'll pick us up.
207
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:25,389
Magnum,
for once in your life...
208
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,392
you are being
mundanely practical.
209
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:29,422
How utterly unlike you.
210
00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:33,029
However, it could take hours
before they get here.
211
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:35,761
We could utilize the time
to explore and forage.
212
00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:38,869
What a pity the lads
aren't here to enjoy this.
213
00:10:39,271 --> 00:10:43,105
Mayday. Mayday.
This is 905 Alpha. Mayday. Mayday.
214
00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:45,739
♪♪[man singing]
215
00:10:47,913 --> 00:10:49,312
(Rick)
What is that?
216
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:52,180
♪♪[man singing]
217
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,926
What is that?
(Higgins) Ukulele Lady.
218
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:05,862
Written in 1925 by Gus Kahn,
Richard Whiting and lrving Berlin.
219
00:11:06,365 --> 00:11:09,061
The gentleman
who is singing it is obviously intoxicated.
220
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:10,830
Not only has he transposed
the verses...
221
00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:13,633
but he has discovered
a key heretofore unknown to the human ear.
222
00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:15,298
Higgins!
223
00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:20,369
Hey, man, are you sure
you got that thing on 1 21 .5?
224
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:22,676
There's something wrong
with the frequency selector.
225
00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:24,272
Keeps drifting off the band.
226
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,783
(Higgins)
So does he.
227
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:28,017
Mayday. Mayday.
This--
228
00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:30,817
[man speakingforeign language]
229
00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:36,124
Mayday! Mayday!
230
00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:41,923
Hey, do l have to do
everything?
231
00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:44,731
Fly you here, fly you there,
fix the chopper.
232
00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:46,396
Talk on the microphone.
233
00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:47,461
Crash.
234
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,638
Hey, l was doing
you guys the favor.
235
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,177
You with
your beauty pageants...
236
00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:54,371
your girlfriends,
and your urgent missions.
237
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:55,812
l am the one
going to see my family...
238
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,610
for the first time
in six years.
239
00:11:57,683 --> 00:12:00,584
Okay, okay, l'm sorry.
l'm really sorry.
240
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,855
Mayday. Mayday.
905 Alpha.
241
00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:12,454
[static buzzing]
242
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,093
[beeping]
243
00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:18,563
Mayday. Mayday.
905 Alpha.
244
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,874
Better save the battery.
245
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:24,933
No, no, don't give up.
Somebody might answer.
246
00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:28,912
No, it's not transmitting.
Landing so hard must've jarred something loose.
247
00:12:28,981 --> 00:12:31,142
Great.
Now we'll never get out of here.
248
00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:33,412
Rick, the Coast Guard
will come looking for us...
249
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,249
as soon as they realize
we're overdue at Molokai.
250
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:37,346
There's absolutely
nothing to worry about.
251
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:38,549
Well...
252
00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:47,794
in the meantime, l will begin
to forage food for our supper.
253
00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:51,826
What food? What supper?
Who says we're gonna be here that long?
254
00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:55,896
[sighing]
255
00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:58,767
What can l do to help?
Nothing.
256
00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:00,641
Well, how long
is this gonna take?
257
00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:03,040
Look, Rick, give me
some breathing room.
258
00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:08,813
Rick, come on,
let's go look for some wood for a signal fire. Come on.
259
00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:15,059
Go!
Okay, l'm going, l'm going.
260
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:28,596
Hey, Thomas, Thomas. Wait up.
You're going too fast.
261
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,434
l don't like this place.
lt's quiet.
262
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:33,239
Yeah. Too quiet.
263
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:35,212
Oh, sure, very funny.
Joke around.
264
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:37,442
l can't help it.
You're just so serious.
265
00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:40,781
Well, excuse me.
That's my natural reaction when my life is in danger.
266
00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:42,878
Of course, l could have
a more mature attitude...
267
00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:44,786
be a clown,
have a few laughs.
268
00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:47,223
Rick,
your life is not in danger.
269
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:49,022
That's debatable.
270
00:13:49,361 --> 00:13:52,421
Hell, this place is spooky.
lt reminds me of Nam.
271
00:13:53,232 --> 00:13:54,460
[bees buzzing]
272
00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:58,228
Thomas, there's something
l got to tell you.
273
00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:00,062
l don't know.
274
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:02,232
Just in case
we don't get out of here.
275
00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:03,964
Well...
276
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,641
when l was a little kid
l did something...
277
00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:08,606
that, you well,
l'm not real proud of.
278
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,706
ln fact, l'm darned right
ashamed of it.
279
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:12,273
Rick! Don't.
280
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,285
No, no. No! l got to
get it off my chest.
281
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:17,220
Don't move a muscle.
282
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:18,750
What?
283
00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:21,452
Stand absolutely still.
284
00:14:22,761 --> 00:14:24,422
What?
There's a...
285
00:14:25,097 --> 00:14:26,621
A bug!
...in your shirt.
286
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:27,688
[screaming]
287
00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:30,226
[laughing]
288
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,737
That isn't funny!
289
00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:37,205
[exclaiming]
290
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:38,641
[laughing]
291
00:14:39,311 --> 00:14:41,836
(Quintin)
lt's tragic. Very tragic.
292
00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:45,007
A whole generation
of fighting men...
293
00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:47,279
without any real experience
in fighting.
294
00:14:48,854 --> 00:14:52,221
Of course,
that's all reflected in our ship's poor ratings.
295
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:56,619
l'm going to change all that,
Jensen. The men work hard, sir.
296
00:14:57,930 --> 00:14:59,955
lt takes more than hard work.
297
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:03,030
Sometimes it takes a war.
298
00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:09,636
l'm afraid
this is not going to be much of a Christmas, is it?
299
00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:11,676
No, sir, l suppose it isn't.
300
00:15:13,178 --> 00:15:15,772
Well, you'll have
other Christmases.
301
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:18,773
Your Christmases.
302
00:15:20,352 --> 00:15:21,876
l've had mine.
303
00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:25,754
An ice breaker
in the Antarctic.
304
00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:28,783
A gunboat in the Delta.
305
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,825
A stray escort
in the North Atlantic.
306
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,562
Just like the good old days.
307
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:39,470
Yes, sir.
308
00:15:42,975 --> 00:15:45,535
Okay, 10 hours 43 minutes.
309
00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:48,742
Clear this away.
l'd like to take a look at that map again.
310
00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:50,076
Yes, sir.
311
00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:56,217
(T.C.)
* Oh, when the sunbeats down *
312
00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:59,780
♪ and burns the tarup on the roof ♪
313
00:15:59,858 --> 00:16:02,019
♪ And your shoes get so hot ♪
314
00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:04,025
♪ you wish your
tired feet ♪
315
00:16:04,096 --> 00:16:05,996
♪ were fire-proof ♪
316
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:09,694
♪ Under the boardwalk ♪
317
00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:14,000
♪ Down by the sea ♪
318
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:17,067
♪ On a blanket with my baby ♪
319
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:19,937
♪ That's where l'll be ♪
320
00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:22,711
♪ Under the boardwalk ♪
321
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,942
♪ Out of the sun ♪
322
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:26,780
♪ Under the boardwalk ♪
323
00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:29,184
♪ We'll be having some fun ♪
324
00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:31,051
♪ Under the boardwalk ♪
325
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:33,023
♪ People up above ♪
326
00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:35,026
♪ Under the boardwalk ♪
327
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:36,994
♪ We'll be making love ♪
328
00:16:37,062 --> 00:16:39,087
♪ Under the boardwalk ♪
329
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:41,026
(both)
* Boardwalk **
330
00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:47,738
How's it going, T.C.?
331
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:50,436
lt's going.
332
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:53,611
Any luck? What's that?
333
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,773
Will you stop that?
No. l'm serious. Listen, don't you hear it?
334
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,180
[helicopter approaching]
335
00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,582
A chopper.
lt's the Coast Guard!
336
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,725
Hey!
337
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:18,632
(all)
Hey!
338
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,030
Help!
339
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,736
Hey!
340
00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:30,775
Damn.
341
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,283
They'll be back.
342
00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:38,050
They will. Once we get
a signal fire started, they can't miss us.
343
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,220
Where's Higgins?
344
00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:44,319
(T.C.)
Exploring and foraging.
345
00:17:45,164 --> 00:17:48,099
He never came back?
Maybe we'd better go look for him.
346
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:51,068
Oh, he's probably having
a good old time.
347
00:17:52,104 --> 00:17:55,301
Like Stewart Granger
in King Solomon's Mines or something.
348
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:57,274
Stewart Granger
was trapped in a cave.
349
00:17:57,342 --> 00:17:59,139
Yeah, but he got out.
lt was really neat.
350
00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:00,405
l'm going to go look for him.
351
00:18:00,479 --> 00:18:03,039
You should've seen
what happened-- (Magnum)
352
00:18:07,986 --> 00:18:09,112
[birds chirping]
353
00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:11,122
(Magnum)
Are you sure this is the direction he went in?
354
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:13,021
This is the direction
he went in when he started.
355
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,116
(Rick)
Now that's just great.
356
00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:15,319
That just means he could
be anywhere.
357
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:17,362
l don't like
this place. (both)
358
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:18,896
Okay.
359
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:20,396
[insects chirping]
360
00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:23,157
Look. Footprints.
361
00:18:25,337 --> 00:18:27,498
Holy cow. A peg leg.
362
00:18:30,742 --> 00:18:33,074
That's not a peg leg.
lt's a....
363
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,278
What? What has one left foot
and a stick for the right?
364
00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:38,907
Robinson Crusoe?
365
00:18:39,017 --> 00:18:40,006
[sighing]
366
00:18:40,986 --> 00:18:43,819
Come on, l'm sure
there's a logical explanation for all this.
367
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:46,687
Aye, pirates, me hearties.
368
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:49,927
Cannibals.
Are you guys both going crazy?
369
00:18:49,995 --> 00:18:52,691
There are no pirates
or cannibals on this island.
370
00:18:52,764 --> 00:18:54,823
There is nothing
on this island. Nothing!
371
00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:57,232
All right,
then where is Higgins?
372
00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:59,200
Probably simmering
in a pot right now.
373
00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:00,898
We'd better find him
and find him fast.
374
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,497
[chuckling]
Come on.
375
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:06,344
(Rick)
l saw this movie once called, The Island.
376
00:19:06,411 --> 00:19:08,379
There were these pirate guys
on this island.
377
00:19:08,447 --> 00:19:10,608
Now, when they were
on this island, nobody knew that they--
378
00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:11,671
[shushing]
379
00:19:12,951 --> 00:19:14,384
[leaves rustling]
Listen.
380
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:15,818
(Higgins)
Oh, my God.
381
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:18,083
Higgins! Higgins!
382
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:26,559
Really. Must the three of you
act like cannibals?
383
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:28,594
The peg leg.
384
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:35,266
And he was dragging
that plant covering up the other footprint.
385
00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:36,730
[exclaims]
386
00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:39,439
My God, has the jungle
gotten to you so soon?
387
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,138
Pull yourselves together,
lads.
388
00:19:41,213 --> 00:19:45,843
For l have made a most
astounding discovery. Exhilarating, actually.
389
00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:49,752
(Magnum)
lt's a wrecked plane, so?
390
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,013
(T.C.)
What's so exhilarating about that?
391
00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:54,149
To you, perhaps,
it is a wrecked plane.
392
00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:56,023
To me,
it is a way out of here.
393
00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:58,187
What are you talking about,
Higgins?
394
00:19:58,263 --> 00:20:00,731
lt reminds me of the time
l was stranded on an island...
395
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:02,232
off the northern coast
of Africa.
396
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:04,098
l had been wounded
and rendered unconscious...
397
00:20:04,169 --> 00:20:07,161
for what must have been
a full week. lmagine my surprise...
398
00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:08,433
when l woke to find that l--
399
00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:11,408
Can you cut to the part
where you get to the wrecked plane?
400
00:20:11,476 --> 00:20:12,966
Oh. Quite.
401
00:20:13,312 --> 00:20:17,339
Magnum, l think you'll find
this quite interesting.
402
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:21,045
[bird hooting]
403
00:20:22,654 --> 00:20:24,246
Magnum?
404
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:28,555
l think we've found
more than just a plane.
405
00:20:51,283 --> 00:20:53,478
There's another guy
who didn't make it off the island.
406
00:20:53,552 --> 00:20:55,645
Rick.
(Rick) Well, sorry.
407
00:20:58,890 --> 00:21:00,687
lmperial Air Force.
408
00:21:02,127 --> 00:21:04,925
And from the looks
of the plane...
409
00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:06,687
a reconnaissance pilot.
410
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:10,894
Must've been the pilot
who scouted the Pearl Harbor attack.
411
00:21:10,969 --> 00:21:12,834
(Higgins)
That's quite possible.
412
00:21:14,139 --> 00:21:17,768
This gentleman then
was responsible for a heavy loss of life.
413
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:19,367
lncluding his own.
414
00:21:19,711 --> 00:21:20,973
(Higgins)
Quite.
415
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:22,743
(Magnum)
MlA.
416
00:21:23,081 --> 00:21:24,241
(Higgins)
What?
417
00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:25,950
He's probably listed
as an MlA.
418
00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:28,509
Yeah, well, l bet you
his family's through looking for him.
419
00:21:28,587 --> 00:21:31,886
Come on, Higgins,
what's your plan? What are you doing, Magnum?
420
00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:33,219
l'm looking for
a serial number.
421
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:37,388
l'm sure there's somebody
who would like to know he's not missing any more.
422
00:21:39,665 --> 00:21:42,395
Thomas, we've got to
get out of here ourselves.
423
00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:45,095
Plus we got to get
the fire started. We got to get the chopper--
424
00:21:45,170 --> 00:21:47,331
He may have been
on the other side. But he was a soldier.
425
00:21:47,406 --> 00:21:48,896
Just doing his job.
426
00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:55,070
Yeah, l know
where you're coming from.
427
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:59,174
lt could have been
any one of us.
428
00:22:03,755 --> 00:22:05,017
[Higgins mumbling]
429
00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:25,475
Back to the living. Us.
430
00:22:27,412 --> 00:22:29,437
This way, gentlemen.
431
00:22:29,815 --> 00:22:32,943
This, of course, will rank
as one of my most crowning achievements.
432
00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:34,383
What's he
talking about now?
433
00:22:34,453 --> 00:22:36,512
(Rick)
You know, Higgins, you're really a genius.
434
00:22:36,588 --> 00:22:38,180
How're you
going to get it to fly?
435
00:22:38,256 --> 00:22:41,384
l'm not going to get it
to fly. l'm going to get it to float.
436
00:22:41,460 --> 00:22:43,655
Oh, yeah. Right.
Well, l guess that will work, too.
437
00:22:43,729 --> 00:22:45,356
l don't see how.
438
00:22:45,430 --> 00:22:49,093
Oh, ye of paltry imaginations,
must l spell everything out?
439
00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:50,691
(T.C.)
Something.
440
00:22:50,769 --> 00:22:53,897
As you can see, this aircraft
is constructed of stressed aluminum.
441
00:22:53,972 --> 00:22:56,600
This light-weight material
contributed to its considerable range.
442
00:22:56,675 --> 00:22:58,768
653 miles to be precise.
443
00:22:58,844 --> 00:23:01,369
You may find this interesting,
most people don't realize--
444
00:23:01,446 --> 00:23:05,143
Higgins, please.
Can we save the stories until we get out of here.
445
00:23:05,984 --> 00:23:08,714
Quite right, Rick.
Well, let's get to it.
446
00:23:09,755 --> 00:23:11,052
Get to what?
447
00:23:11,123 --> 00:23:14,456
l propose that we shear off
the top of the fuselage, remove the engines...
448
00:23:14,526 --> 00:23:19,020
discard the wings,
patch those areas with woven palm fronds using glue...
449
00:23:19,097 --> 00:23:22,794
made from the remnants
of petroleum in the wing tanks and gum from the tires...
450
00:23:22,868 --> 00:23:24,836
thereby creating essentially
an outrigger canoe...
451
00:23:24,903 --> 00:23:26,962
enabling us to sail
the blazes away.
452
00:23:27,038 --> 00:23:28,505
You saw,
Flight of the Phoenix.
453
00:23:28,573 --> 00:23:29,733
To Molokai.
454
00:23:29,841 --> 00:23:30,899
You're crazy.
455
00:23:30,976 --> 00:23:32,841
Oh, l think
that's a bit harsh, T.C.
456
00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:35,175
Overly optimistic, perhaps,
but....
457
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:36,236
Crazy.
458
00:23:36,314 --> 00:23:38,874
That's what they said
about Columbus. And he discovered America.
459
00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:41,077
ln a boat.
Not in a Japanese plane.
460
00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:43,417
l mean, if you're so set
on taking a cruise...
461
00:23:43,488 --> 00:23:46,252
you might as well take
the flotation devices off the chopper.
462
00:23:46,324 --> 00:23:48,588
Sort of floating
hors d'oeuvres for the sharks?
463
00:23:48,660 --> 00:23:49,718
No, thank you.
464
00:23:49,795 --> 00:23:53,322
l intend to make this
into a seaworthy vessel if l have to do it by myself.
465
00:23:53,398 --> 00:23:55,923
Now are you going to assist
in this endeavor or not?
466
00:23:56,501 --> 00:23:59,231
Well, sure, Higgins.
Of course we'll help.
467
00:23:59,638 --> 00:24:00,730
(Higgins)
Thank you, Magnum.
468
00:24:00,806 --> 00:24:03,707
lt also took some time
for Columbus to be appreciated.
469
00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:05,242
He was looking for lndia.
470
00:24:05,911 --> 00:24:07,310
What can we do?
471
00:24:07,379 --> 00:24:10,246
Well, if someone
will retrieve the hacksaw from T.C.'s toolbox...
472
00:24:10,315 --> 00:24:11,680
l'll make the incisions.
473
00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:13,445
Then, we'll need wood
for the fire...
474
00:24:13,518 --> 00:24:14,883
and palm fronds
for the patching.
475
00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:16,784
The greener the better.
The thicker the better.
476
00:24:16,855 --> 00:24:18,948
Great, Higgins. We'll give it
the old college try.
477
00:24:19,024 --> 00:24:20,013
Good.
478
00:24:20,091 --> 00:24:21,388
Are you serious?
479
00:24:21,593 --> 00:24:24,323
Oh, come on, T.C.
What can it hurt to try?
480
00:24:24,396 --> 00:24:26,591
Besides,
this is the time of year where you're supposed to...
481
00:24:26,665 --> 00:24:28,656
enjoy helping each other out.
482
00:24:29,935 --> 00:24:32,495
Oh, yeah. Right. Well.
483
00:24:33,672 --> 00:24:34,934
You help.
484
00:24:35,106 --> 00:24:37,267
You take care
of the important stuff.
485
00:24:37,342 --> 00:24:39,970
l'm going to go see
if l can get the chopper working.
486
00:24:42,047 --> 00:24:44,413
l'll see what l can find.
The greener the better.
487
00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:46,678
The thicker the better.
Quite.
488
00:24:47,085 --> 00:24:50,111
This is a terrific idea.
Terrific.
489
00:24:50,188 --> 00:24:51,553
Thank you.
490
00:24:51,957 --> 00:24:53,015
You know, Higgins...
491
00:24:53,091 --> 00:24:55,355
there's something
that l always wanted to tell you.
492
00:24:55,427 --> 00:24:59,887
l mean, deep down,
you're really an okay guy.
493
00:25:01,533 --> 00:25:03,057
How reassuring.
494
00:25:06,438 --> 00:25:07,769
Higgins...
495
00:25:08,740 --> 00:25:10,708
there's something that,
well.... l mean...
496
00:25:10,775 --> 00:25:13,266
there's something that
l want to get off my chest.
497
00:25:13,378 --> 00:25:15,471
lt's about my cousin,
Jenny.
498
00:25:16,281 --> 00:25:17,373
l'm not real proud of it.
499
00:25:17,449 --> 00:25:20,043
ln fact,
l'm downright ashamed of it.
500
00:25:20,619 --> 00:25:23,087
lt was in the fourth grade
and after school l--
501
00:25:23,154 --> 00:25:25,281
Rick, please,
this is no time for long...
502
00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:27,291
boring and irrelevant stories.
503
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,691
Now go and collect
those palm fronds.
504
00:25:31,663 --> 00:25:33,563
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, sure.
505
00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:38,495
Sure. Big and green.
506
00:25:39,437 --> 00:25:40,961
Big and green.
507
00:25:42,908 --> 00:25:45,376
Big and green.
Big and green.
508
00:25:46,678 --> 00:25:49,169
Wants big and green.
l'll get big and green.
509
00:25:56,655 --> 00:25:58,452
That's big and green.
510
00:26:04,029 --> 00:26:05,826
[quicksand bubbling]
511
00:26:05,964 --> 00:26:08,797
Oh, God! Quicksand.
512
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,228
Thomas!
513
00:26:11,136 --> 00:26:12,660
Thomas!
514
00:26:14,573 --> 00:26:15,835
Higgins!
515
00:26:18,777 --> 00:26:20,506
Higgins! Thomas!
516
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:22,908
T.C.!
517
00:26:23,248 --> 00:26:26,411
Help me, l'm sinking! Higgins!
518
00:26:26,751 --> 00:26:30,187
Thomas! Thomas!
519
00:26:30,956 --> 00:26:32,082
♪♪[organ playing]
520
00:26:32,157 --> 00:26:34,921
Orville Rick Wright.
521
00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:39,086
The best darn gunner
in the Marine Corps.
522
00:26:39,731 --> 00:26:44,100
lrresistible to women.
Legendary in the ring.
523
00:26:46,137 --> 00:26:47,661
[sobbing]
And....
524
00:26:47,739 --> 00:26:52,073
And the greatest buddy
a guy could ask for.
525
00:26:52,544 --> 00:26:53,670
[sniffling]
526
00:27:01,319 --> 00:27:04,186
A keen mind and quick wit...
527
00:27:04,990 --> 00:27:07,322
diplomatic, conscientious...
528
00:27:08,193 --> 00:27:10,661
a terrific conversationalist.
529
00:27:11,696 --> 00:27:13,857
He shall be sorely missed.
530
00:27:16,568 --> 00:27:19,560
''Sorry l had to miss
the funeral.
531
00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:23,699
''Enjoy the Big Casino
in the sky. lce Pick.''
532
00:27:24,676 --> 00:27:26,166
[T.C. sobbing]
533
00:27:29,014 --> 00:27:30,572
[bells ringing]
534
00:27:40,058 --> 00:27:42,083
We're gonna miss you, pal.
535
00:27:44,596 --> 00:27:45,620
No!
536
00:27:48,199 --> 00:27:49,496
(Magnum)
Rick!
537
00:27:51,569 --> 00:27:53,503
Orville, what are you
doing in there?
538
00:27:53,571 --> 00:27:55,801
l'm sinking in quicksand!
Hurry up!
539
00:27:55,874 --> 00:27:57,899
Throw me a vine!
l'm going down quick!
540
00:27:57,976 --> 00:27:59,068
Help me!
541
00:27:59,144 --> 00:28:00,304
Stand up.
542
00:28:00,378 --> 00:28:01,402
What?
543
00:28:01,479 --> 00:28:02,776
Stand up.
544
00:28:06,584 --> 00:28:08,108
[bees buzzing]
545
00:28:09,087 --> 00:28:10,213
[panting]
546
00:28:10,789 --> 00:28:13,223
You mean this....
This isn't....
547
00:28:13,625 --> 00:28:15,092
No, it isn't.
548
00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:18,060
lt's a bog.
549
00:28:18,129 --> 00:28:20,427
There is no quicksand
in Hawaii.
550
00:28:21,232 --> 00:28:22,290
Oh.
551
00:28:23,601 --> 00:28:24,659
(Magnum)
Come on.
552
00:28:24,736 --> 00:28:26,727
Wait. l have to get my fronds.
553
00:28:26,905 --> 00:28:27,997
Oh, yeah.
554
00:28:28,073 --> 00:28:30,974
The Higgins Paradise Cruise's
Luxury Liner.
555
00:28:36,347 --> 00:28:37,712
[grunting]
556
00:28:37,949 --> 00:28:39,382
Watch out
for that centipede.
557
00:28:39,451 --> 00:28:40,509
What centipede?
558
00:28:40,585 --> 00:28:41,643
The one
next to the lizard.
559
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:42,982
What lizard?
560
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:45,087
[laughing]
561
00:28:47,792 --> 00:28:49,453
That's isn't funny!
562
00:28:50,328 --> 00:28:51,625
(Quintin)It's inspirational.
563
00:28:51,996 --> 00:28:53,054
Sir?
564
00:28:53,131 --> 00:28:56,760
The way the men pull together
to see a mission successfully completed.
565
00:28:56,835 --> 00:28:59,167
Like our ship's
gonna do tonight.
566
00:28:59,604 --> 00:29:01,299
All right.
What've we got?
567
00:29:01,406 --> 00:29:03,499
Our choice of targets, sir.
568
00:29:05,944 --> 00:29:07,036
Mmm-hmm.
569
00:29:07,278 --> 00:29:09,473
(Jensen)
Abandoned vehicles have been targeted...
570
00:29:09,547 --> 00:29:10,775
across the island...
571
00:29:10,849 --> 00:29:14,285
but the jungle has had
the least amount of activity in prior exercises.
572
00:29:15,687 --> 00:29:16,813
Well, that is....
573
00:29:16,888 --> 00:29:18,515
No, no, continue.
574
00:29:19,157 --> 00:29:23,218
Well, that is the targets
would therefore be easily accounted for--
575
00:29:23,294 --> 00:29:24,522
Easily?
576
00:29:24,896 --> 00:29:28,093
Well, l don't mean easy
in the sense of shirking our duty, sir, l--
577
00:29:28,166 --> 00:29:30,634
Don't you know a joke
when you hear one, Ensign?
578
00:29:31,536 --> 00:29:33,470
Of course
we'll shell the jungle.
579
00:29:33,972 --> 00:29:36,600
Let me know
when you're ready to commence firing.
580
00:29:36,908 --> 00:29:38,398
Aye, aye, sir.
581
00:29:39,544 --> 00:29:41,307
[crew chattering]
582
00:29:42,881 --> 00:29:44,872
(Higgins)And heave!
583
00:29:46,384 --> 00:29:48,011
And heave!
584
00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:51,248
And heave!
585
00:29:51,322 --> 00:29:52,653
[grunting]
586
00:29:53,758 --> 00:29:55,555
And heave!
587
00:29:58,062 --> 00:30:00,189
And heave!
588
00:30:02,167 --> 00:30:04,101
And heave!
589
00:30:06,304 --> 00:30:08,169
And heave!
590
00:30:09,908 --> 00:30:11,068
(Magnum)
Hi, guys.
591
00:30:11,142 --> 00:30:12,541
Oh, Magnum. Good.
592
00:30:12,610 --> 00:30:15,135
Give us a hand
with this, will you?
593
00:30:15,213 --> 00:30:17,147
Oh, Higgins,
l kind of got my hands full...
594
00:30:17,215 --> 00:30:18,705
keeping the signal fire
going.
595
00:30:18,783 --> 00:30:19,909
Forget the fire,
Thomas.
596
00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:21,918
We're gonna
get out of here on Higgins' boat.
597
00:30:21,986 --> 00:30:23,283
[chuckles]
598
00:30:23,354 --> 00:30:26,084
l fail to find any humor
in this, Magnum.
599
00:30:26,157 --> 00:30:29,684
We need your assistance
in getting this vessel to shore and we need it now.
600
00:30:29,928 --> 00:30:32,158
Okay, Higgins.
l'll just put this wood on the fire...
601
00:30:32,230 --> 00:30:34,255
and then l'll come back
and give you guys a hand.
602
00:30:34,332 --> 00:30:37,790
As your Commander-in-Chief,
l order you to cease your current activities...
603
00:30:37,869 --> 00:30:40,463
and report immediately
to boat detail.
604
00:30:40,705 --> 00:30:45,074
Higgins, that is not a boat.
That is a plane.
605
00:30:45,310 --> 00:30:47,574
And you are not
my Commander-in-Chief.
606
00:30:47,879 --> 00:30:51,610
l must warn you,
you're skating dangerously close to insubordination.
607
00:30:53,818 --> 00:30:54,910
[sighing]
608
00:30:54,986 --> 00:30:56,886
Fine. Fine.
609
00:30:56,955 --> 00:30:59,014
You wanna play
your little games? Fine!
610
00:30:59,090 --> 00:31:00,557
But you're going
to have to wait...
611
00:31:00,625 --> 00:31:02,559
till l put this wood
on that fire.
612
00:31:02,627 --> 00:31:04,117
l'm not gonna
take another chance...
613
00:31:04,195 --> 00:31:06,060
on the coastguard
missing us again.
614
00:31:07,932 --> 00:31:11,595
You know, you're the one
who's always accusing me of acting like a kid.
615
00:31:11,669 --> 00:31:12,761
Well, look at you.
616
00:31:12,837 --> 00:31:14,737
You're like
an overgrown Boy Scout...
617
00:31:14,806 --> 00:31:17,536
trying to earn
his Survival Merit Badge.
618
00:31:18,042 --> 00:31:19,304
Now, okay.
619
00:31:19,377 --> 00:31:20,503
Maybe you are right.
620
00:31:20,578 --> 00:31:22,273
Maybe, for once,
l am being practical...
621
00:31:22,347 --> 00:31:24,281
even mundanely practical...
622
00:31:24,349 --> 00:31:27,182
but l want to make sure
that we get off of here.
623
00:31:27,252 --> 00:31:30,244
So l'm going
to walk up that beach...
624
00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:34,116
and then l'm going
to put this wood on that fire...
625
00:31:34,259 --> 00:31:36,557
and then, and only then...
626
00:31:36,995 --> 00:31:39,793
will l come back
and help you guys out.
627
00:31:42,166 --> 00:31:43,360
Quite.
628
00:31:52,543 --> 00:31:54,477
And heave!
629
00:31:57,782 --> 00:31:59,545
(Higgins)
And heave!
630
00:32:05,957 --> 00:32:07,185
And--
631
00:32:09,060 --> 00:32:10,288
Come on.
632
00:32:12,196 --> 00:32:13,561
A little to your left.
633
00:32:13,631 --> 00:32:15,189
And mind
the exposed root there.
634
00:32:15,266 --> 00:32:17,257
We don't want to inflict
any damage to the hull.
635
00:32:17,335 --> 00:32:18,666
Don't push it, Higgins.
636
00:32:18,736 --> 00:32:20,294
And heave!
637
00:32:21,673 --> 00:32:24,164
(T.C.)
* That's the soundof the men *
638
00:32:24,242 --> 00:32:28,110
♪ working on the chain gang ♪
639
00:32:28,846 --> 00:32:31,280
♪ That's the sound
of the men ♪
640
00:32:31,349 --> 00:32:34,375
♪ working on the chain gang ♪
641
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,216
♪ All day long
they work so hard ♪
642
00:32:38,289 --> 00:32:39,722
♪ Until the sun is ♪♪
643
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:41,486
Come on,
you have to see this.
644
00:32:41,559 --> 00:32:43,857
See what?
Just come on. Come on.
645
00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:45,891
[sighing]
646
00:32:57,909 --> 00:33:00,207
lt isn't going to work.
Look how flimsy it is.
647
00:33:00,278 --> 00:33:01,745
(Higgins)
Nonsense.
648
00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:04,281
The Zeus Apollo II
is quite sturdy.
649
00:33:04,482 --> 00:33:05,847
Zeus Apollo II?
650
00:33:05,917 --> 00:33:07,817
Named after
its predecessor...
651
00:33:07,885 --> 00:33:10,877
during the time
l was on that island off the coast of Africa.
652
00:33:11,022 --> 00:33:13,547
l thought l'd told you
about that, Rick.
653
00:33:13,624 --> 00:33:14,613
Oh.
654
00:33:14,692 --> 00:33:16,785
Nevertheless,
this incarnation, l have no doubt...
655
00:33:16,861 --> 00:33:19,227
will be equally as successful
as the original.
656
00:33:19,297 --> 00:33:20,696
The original Titanic.
657
00:33:20,765 --> 00:33:22,198
Scoff if you will.
658
00:33:22,266 --> 00:33:23,995
But after l make
a brief test run...
659
00:33:24,068 --> 00:33:26,298
the four of us
will set sail for Molokai.
660
00:33:26,471 --> 00:33:29,599
Yeah, well, put me down
for 4:00 shuffle board.
661
00:33:29,974 --> 00:33:32,534
Come on, T.C. l mean,
we gotta hand it to Higgins.
662
00:33:32,610 --> 00:33:35,238
l thought
this was a half-baked idea...
663
00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:38,077
but it looks like it'll float.
664
00:33:38,583 --> 00:33:39,880
Oh, it will float.
665
00:33:40,685 --> 00:33:43,210
lt may be a trifle difficult
to steer...
666
00:33:43,287 --> 00:33:44,811
but it will float.
667
00:33:44,889 --> 00:33:46,584
You can depend on that.
668
00:33:46,657 --> 00:33:49,455
We shall be home in time
for Christmas dinner.
669
00:33:49,527 --> 00:33:51,495
Now, shove me off, lads.
670
00:33:53,264 --> 00:33:54,629
(all)
Heave!
671
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:57,090
Heave!
672
00:33:58,236 --> 00:33:59,396
Heave!
673
00:33:59,470 --> 00:34:01,495
(Higgins)
Actually, l think it's rather fitting...
674
00:34:01,572 --> 00:34:04,063
that we find our way home
in a small sailing vessel.
675
00:34:04,142 --> 00:34:05,541
After all the Polynesians...
676
00:34:05,610 --> 00:34:07,134
who first settled
the lslands...
677
00:34:07,211 --> 00:34:09,008
traveled great distances
in canoes...
678
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:11,071
that were much smaller
and more fragile...
679
00:34:11,149 --> 00:34:13,014
than our sturdy little...
680
00:34:15,253 --> 00:34:16,584
[laughing]
681
00:34:19,023 --> 00:34:20,217
...craft.
682
00:34:42,246 --> 00:34:45,238
''My rare edition
of Military Maneuvers...
683
00:34:46,417 --> 00:34:51,320
''l bequeath
to Agatha Chumley.''
684
00:34:53,658 --> 00:34:55,285
She'll like that.
685
00:34:58,296 --> 00:34:59,888
[seagulls cawing]
686
00:35:03,668 --> 00:35:05,932
''My handcrafted replica...
687
00:35:07,505 --> 00:35:10,269
''of the bridge
on the river Kwai...
688
00:35:11,576 --> 00:35:13,339
''l bequeath to...
689
00:35:17,615 --> 00:35:18,946
''Thomas...
690
00:35:21,619 --> 00:35:23,018
''Sullivan...
691
00:35:26,924 --> 00:35:28,186
''Magnum.''
692
00:35:34,999 --> 00:35:38,799
He's going to die
on this godforsaken isle the same time l do.
693
00:35:43,808 --> 00:35:46,106
''The bridge
on the river Kwai...
694
00:35:47,845 --> 00:35:50,245
''and the rest
of my possessions...
695
00:35:51,048 --> 00:35:52,845
''to go to the lads...
696
00:35:55,086 --> 00:35:58,544
''Apollo and Zeus.''
697
00:36:01,959 --> 00:36:03,950
They'll appreciate that.
698
00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:16,863
Hi. Where's Thomas?
699
00:36:17,275 --> 00:36:19,971
He'll be back in a minute.
Said he had something to do.
700
00:36:20,878 --> 00:36:22,641
How're you coming along
there?
701
00:36:23,548 --> 00:36:26,745
Closer. l think
l've narrowed it down considerably.
702
00:36:28,586 --> 00:36:30,076
T.C...
Mmm-hmm?
703
00:36:32,056 --> 00:36:34,786
...there's something
that l wanna tell you...
704
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:38,757
just in case
we don't get out of here.
705
00:36:38,829 --> 00:36:39,921
What?
706
00:36:41,032 --> 00:36:43,432
Well, it's something
that l'm not real proud of.
707
00:36:43,501 --> 00:36:46,026
ln fact,
l'm downright ashamed of it.
708
00:36:46,237 --> 00:36:47,499
Mmm-hmm?
709
00:36:47,572 --> 00:36:50,097
See, it's about my cousin,
Jenny.
710
00:36:50,174 --> 00:36:51,801
When l was
in the fourth grade, l--
711
00:36:51,876 --> 00:36:54,174
l already know about this,
Rick.
712
00:36:55,146 --> 00:36:56,306
You do?
713
00:36:56,714 --> 00:36:58,375
Yeah, you told me.
714
00:36:58,449 --> 00:36:59,939
l did?
Uh-huh.
715
00:37:00,518 --> 00:37:03,681
At Khe Sanh
when the mortar shells were coming in.
716
00:37:07,091 --> 00:37:10,185
Of course later on
you told me you were kidding.
717
00:37:10,261 --> 00:37:11,319
Oh.
718
00:37:13,898 --> 00:37:15,195
[sighing]
719
00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:19,533
Higgins still moping around
on the beach?
720
00:37:19,604 --> 00:37:20,696
Yeah.
721
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:23,771
Excuse me.
722
00:37:33,951 --> 00:37:37,216
Perhaps if l had
reinforced the hull....
723
00:37:43,694 --> 00:37:44,752
Hey!
724
00:37:48,266 --> 00:37:51,201
Looks like we got
the fire going real strong.
725
00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:54,268
Coast Guard will be able
to see us for sure now...
726
00:37:54,338 --> 00:37:55,999
once it gets dark.
727
00:38:01,512 --> 00:38:03,173
Hey, come on, man.
728
00:38:03,347 --> 00:38:05,338
Don't be so hard
on yourself.
729
00:38:05,416 --> 00:38:08,044
lt's not your fault
that the plane....
730
00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:09,950
l mean, the boat sank.
731
00:38:10,688 --> 00:38:13,088
Too many years
away from the field.
732
00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:17,583
l'm afraid my survival skills
have become dulled a bit.
733
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,529
lt could've worked.
734
00:38:29,740 --> 00:38:33,733
Jonathan, it was a great try.
lt didn't work. So what?
735
00:38:33,811 --> 00:38:36,211
We're still gonna
get out of here.
736
00:38:37,248 --> 00:38:39,045
Perhaps you're right.
737
00:38:39,717 --> 00:38:41,116
Carry on, and all that.
738
00:38:41,185 --> 00:38:42,618
There you go.
739
00:38:46,223 --> 00:38:48,123
You called me Jonathan.
740
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,025
Yeah, l did, didn't l?
741
00:38:52,596 --> 00:38:53,756
Quite.
742
00:38:57,101 --> 00:38:59,433
Well, then,
let's get on with it.
743
00:39:00,237 --> 00:39:01,363
Beg your pardon?
744
00:39:01,439 --> 00:39:02,428
Supper, man.
745
00:39:02,506 --> 00:39:05,703
The human body cannot function
without proper nourishment.
746
00:39:06,210 --> 00:39:08,110
l've collected
some rare vegetation...
747
00:39:08,179 --> 00:39:10,704
which l think
you'll find quite delectable.
748
00:39:11,282 --> 00:39:15,480
Very similar to that
cultivated in certain remote parts of Borneo.
749
00:39:15,853 --> 00:39:17,445
l was there, you know.
750
00:39:17,588 --> 00:39:18,748
[chuckling]
751
00:39:34,105 --> 00:39:36,198
(Magnum)
Ho, ho, ho!
752
00:39:36,774 --> 00:39:39,334
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
753
00:39:39,410 --> 00:39:41,469
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
754
00:39:41,545 --> 00:39:43,536
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
755
00:39:43,614 --> 00:39:46,139
♪ and a Happy New Year ♪♪
756
00:39:46,283 --> 00:39:47,716
What is that?
757
00:39:47,785 --> 00:39:50,447
[laughing]
lt's a Christmas tree.
758
00:39:50,521 --> 00:39:52,819
This is what
you've been spending all this time doing?
759
00:39:52,890 --> 00:39:55,916
(Magnum)
Yeah. Pretty good, huh? Absolutely defies description.
760
00:39:55,993 --> 00:39:58,791
Well, what's Christmas Eve
without a Christmas....
761
00:39:58,863 --> 00:40:02,594
Rick, don't move.
There's a bug in your hair.
762
00:40:02,833 --> 00:40:04,266
Sure there is.
763
00:40:04,335 --> 00:40:06,633
Oh, no, really.
lt's a praying mantis.
764
00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:09,930
Look, guys,
l'm not going for it again.
765
00:40:10,007 --> 00:40:12,805
''Rick, there's a bug
in your pocket. Rick, there's a centipede.
766
00:40:12,877 --> 00:40:15,641
''Rick, there's a lizard.''
Well, forget it.
767
00:40:15,713 --> 00:40:17,510
l don't believe it anymore.
768
00:40:20,050 --> 00:40:21,415
[Rick screaming]
769
00:40:24,488 --> 00:40:26,718
Now, where shall l put this?
770
00:40:46,243 --> 00:40:50,270
Perhaps, in an odd way,
being stranded here has been good for us.
771
00:40:50,514 --> 00:40:52,345
(Higgins)
l, for one, have been so intent...
772
00:40:52,416 --> 00:40:54,782
on getting everything done
that needed to get done...
773
00:40:54,885 --> 00:40:58,150
l'd completely lost track
of the spirit of the season.
774
00:40:58,489 --> 00:41:00,081
Yeah. Me, too.
775
00:41:00,624 --> 00:41:03,650
l'm really sorry
you're gonna be late for your family reunion.
776
00:41:04,762 --> 00:41:05,751
Ah...
777
00:41:06,897 --> 00:41:08,865
You'll still make Kwanza.
778
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:11,696
Kwanza?
779
00:41:12,236 --> 00:41:13,498
Oh, yeah.
780
00:41:14,171 --> 00:41:18,198
lt's the national
Afro-American holiday with its roots in Africa...
781
00:41:18,843 --> 00:41:23,303
celebrates among other things,
unity, creativity and faith.
782
00:41:24,348 --> 00:41:26,782
l was going to celebrate
with my whole family this year.
783
00:41:29,220 --> 00:41:32,917
Well, what do you say
to seconds all around?
784
00:41:37,228 --> 00:41:40,026
No, thanks, Higgins,
l'm really stuffed.
785
00:41:41,198 --> 00:41:44,326
Oh, no. l've been on a break
too long as it is.
786
00:41:44,401 --> 00:41:46,892
l think l'll go and try
and tear that voltage regulator apart...
787
00:41:46,971 --> 00:41:50,065
and see if we can get
her started. Anybody wanna hold a flashlight?
788
00:41:50,140 --> 00:41:51,505
(Rick)
l'll do it.
789
00:41:55,212 --> 00:41:57,180
How about you, Magnum?
790
00:41:57,248 --> 00:42:00,740
l'm trying to cut back
on my intake of roots and berries.
791
00:42:02,186 --> 00:42:04,848
(Higgins)
lt must be more filling than l anticipated.
792
00:42:05,089 --> 00:42:07,387
The three of you ate
such meager portions.
793
00:42:10,027 --> 00:42:13,087
You don't think
it was a bit...bland?
794
00:42:13,731 --> 00:42:14,789
No.
795
00:42:16,267 --> 00:42:17,962
Higgins, look...
796
00:42:20,638 --> 00:42:23,198
l kind of want to...
797
00:42:24,775 --> 00:42:26,675
apologize for before.
798
00:42:28,612 --> 00:42:32,605
Apologize?
Yeah, you know. For being...
799
00:42:35,252 --> 00:42:36,742
insubordinate.
800
00:42:40,291 --> 00:42:42,657
lt's quite understandable.
801
00:42:42,726 --> 00:42:46,025
l've seen it happen many times
in the heat of battle, on the front...
802
00:42:46,630 --> 00:42:48,564
especially during
the holidays.
803
00:42:48,933 --> 00:42:51,868
Men are more lonely then,
more prone to snap.
804
00:42:53,404 --> 00:42:55,804
Your momentary lapse
is quite excusable.
805
00:42:56,607 --> 00:42:59,201
l will, of course,
keep it out of print.
806
00:43:00,277 --> 00:43:01,869
Out of print?
807
00:43:02,580 --> 00:43:03,945
My memoirs.
808
00:43:12,723 --> 00:43:16,887
l, of course, have spent
many a Christmas away from home and family.
809
00:43:18,429 --> 00:43:20,624
More times
than l care to remember...
810
00:43:20,698 --> 00:43:22,859
and in more places
than l care to remember.
811
00:43:23,500 --> 00:43:27,732
Forgotten battlefields,
and sometimes, even forgotten wars.
812
00:43:29,206 --> 00:43:33,199
l think being at war
makes Christmas all the more bittersweet.
813
00:43:34,912 --> 00:43:38,348
Peace on earth
and goodwill toward men and all that.
814
00:43:40,985 --> 00:43:42,714
l say, Magnum...
815
00:43:44,088 --> 00:43:46,818
the night NATO signal
for commence firing.
816
00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:49,156
lsn't that a....
817
00:43:52,463 --> 00:43:54,863
Red flare, yellow flare,
green flare.
818
00:43:54,965 --> 00:43:57,798
You don't suppose that
red flare out there is a....
819
00:43:59,269 --> 00:44:01,260
Come on. T.C.!
820
00:44:02,806 --> 00:44:05,707
(Jensen)
Recon spotted a fire on the west beach, sir.
821
00:44:05,776 --> 00:44:08,108
Damn! Some hotshot's
been bobbing in our barrel.
822
00:44:08,178 --> 00:44:09,645
Blast them, Jensen.
823
00:44:09,847 --> 00:44:11,872
But, sir, they're--
(Quintin) Now!
824
00:44:14,351 --> 00:44:15,648
Yes, sir.
825
00:44:19,456 --> 00:44:21,686
Get ready, Thomas. Now!
826
00:44:29,867 --> 00:44:30,959
[ticking]
827
00:44:32,803 --> 00:44:33,861
Come on, T.C.
828
00:44:33,937 --> 00:44:35,097
l'm only up to 6%%.
829
00:44:35,172 --> 00:44:37,640
l've only got enough juice
in the battery for one start.
830
00:44:37,708 --> 00:44:40,871
l don't know why everyone's
getting so hysterical.
831
00:44:40,944 --> 00:44:44,607
The likelihood
of a direct hit is so astronomically high that--
832
00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:45,910
(Magnum)
Higgins!
833
00:44:46,216 --> 00:44:47,843
They're at yellow now.
834
00:44:47,918 --> 00:44:49,579
We're gonna die.
835
00:44:49,853 --> 00:44:51,377
[exclaiming]
836
00:44:52,856 --> 00:44:54,016
T.C.!
837
00:44:54,224 --> 00:44:56,249
Thirteen percent!
That's close enough!
838
00:44:56,326 --> 00:44:58,191
No! We might melt
the engine down.
839
00:44:58,262 --> 00:45:00,560
Green. My God!
840
00:45:13,544 --> 00:45:14,670
Good shot.
841
00:45:18,849 --> 00:45:21,113
First round
was right on target, sir.
842
00:45:21,285 --> 00:45:22,650
Thank you, Ensign.
843
00:45:24,888 --> 00:45:26,082
Ensign?
844
00:45:28,892 --> 00:45:30,416
Merry Christmas.
845
00:45:31,028 --> 00:45:32,825
Merry Christmas, sir.
846
00:45:36,100 --> 00:45:38,295
Fifteen percent!
l'm gonna light it.
847
00:45:41,972 --> 00:45:43,997
Let's get the hell out
of here!
848
00:46:13,403 --> 00:46:16,736
Well, looks like those kids
are gonna get to see Santa Claus after all.
849
00:46:18,742 --> 00:46:20,903
Or a reasonable facsimile.
850
00:46:21,945 --> 00:46:23,776
Merry Christmas, gentlemen.
851
00:46:24,314 --> 00:46:27,078
Merry Christmas, Higgins.
You too, Rick.
852
00:46:28,619 --> 00:46:30,280
Happy Kwanza to you, T.C.
853
00:46:30,354 --> 00:46:33,346
Hey, thanks.
Same to you guys.
854
00:46:33,624 --> 00:46:35,319
Aloha!
855
00:46:36,393 --> 00:46:37,655
(Rick)
Hey, T.C.?
856
00:46:37,961 --> 00:46:40,122
You remember what l said
about my cousin, Jenny?
857
00:46:40,197 --> 00:46:41,357
(T.C.)
Yeah.
858
00:46:42,299 --> 00:46:43,732
Well, l was just kidding.
859
00:46:43,801 --> 00:46:45,291
[laughing]
860
00:46:47,738 --> 00:46:50,172
(Magnum)
* Silent night *
861
00:46:52,943 --> 00:46:55,935
♪ Holy night ♪
862
00:46:57,481 --> 00:47:00,473
(all)
* All is calm *
863
00:47:01,218 --> 00:47:04,881
♪ All is bright ♪
864
00:47:05,489 --> 00:47:10,426
♪ Round yon Virgin Motherand Child ♪♪
865
00:47:10,476 --> 00:47:15,026
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