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1
00:00:06,033 --> 00:00:07,000
MM...
2
00:00:09,434 --> 00:00:11,667
MMM...
3
00:00:14,267 --> 00:00:15,334
OW, OW, OW.
4
00:00:23,734 --> 00:00:25,000
MM...
5
00:00:36,434 --> 00:00:38,634
* TELL ME WHY... *
6
00:00:38,634 --> 00:00:40,133
* I LOVE YA
LIKE I DO *
7
00:00:40,133 --> 00:00:42,100
* TELL ME WHO... *
8
00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:44,434
* CAN STOP MY HEART
AS MUCH AS YOU *
9
00:00:44,434 --> 00:00:46,200
* LET'S TAKE
EACH OTHER'S HAND *
10
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:49,434
* AS WE JUMP
INTO THE FINAL FRONTIER *
11
00:00:50,501 --> 00:00:53,234
* MAD ABOUT YOU, BABY *
12
00:00:53,234 --> 00:00:54,534
* YEAH **
13
00:01:00,067 --> 00:01:02,767
WE'LL ZIP OVER
TO 8th STREET FOR THE DRY CLEANERS,
14
00:01:02,767 --> 00:01:05,200
WE'LL SWING OVER TO 6th
FOR THE SHIRTS,
15
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,334
JUMP OVER TO UNION SQUARE
FOR GROCERIES,
16
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:08,567
THEN WE'LL, UH...
17
00:01:08,567 --> 00:01:09,701
SCOOT.
18
00:01:09,701 --> 00:01:11,567
SCOOT. THANKS.
19
00:01:11,567 --> 00:01:13,367
WE'LL SCOOT
TO 14th STREET FOR THE SHOE GUY.
20
00:01:13,367 --> 00:01:15,334
GLAD IT'S THE WEEKEND?
21
00:01:15,334 --> 00:01:17,601
WELCOME TO LIFE
IN THE BIG CITY--
22
00:01:17,601 --> 00:01:19,968
WORK ALL WEEK LIKE A DOG--
23
00:01:19,968 --> 00:01:22,234
[WOOF]
THAT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH--
24
00:01:22,234 --> 00:01:25,701
SO SATURDAY YOU CAN CARRY
YOUR PANTS FOR 30 BLOCKS.
25
00:01:25,701 --> 00:01:28,601
WE'RE NOT LEAVING
UNTIL WE MAKE A GROCERY LIST.
26
00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:31,167
COME ON.
WE'LL JUST GO. WE'LL PERUSE.
27
00:01:31,167 --> 00:01:32,434
THAT'S HOW WE GET
INTO TROUBLE.
28
00:01:32,434 --> 00:01:33,467
WHAT TROUBLE?
29
00:01:33,467 --> 00:01:35,267
HEARTS OF PALM?
30
00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:38,000
I JUST WANTED TO KNOW
WHAT THAT WAS.
31
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,601
WRITE DOWN MILK.
32
00:01:39,601 --> 00:01:41,167
MILK. GOT TO HAVE MILK.
33
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:42,534
COOKIES.
34
00:01:42,534 --> 00:01:43,834
GOES RIGHT WITH
THE MILK.
35
00:01:43,834 --> 00:01:45,100
CHICKEN.
36
00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:46,534
HEY, HOW
ABOUT VEAL?
37
00:01:46,534 --> 00:01:48,200
NEVER, NEVER,
NEVER VEAL.
38
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,167
BECAUSE IT'S SO CRUEL
HOW THEY RAISE THEM.
39
00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:52,267
THAT'S RIGHT.
40
00:01:52,267 --> 00:01:55,033
CHICKENS--WHAT,
DO YOU THINK THEY TAKE THEM DANCING FIRST?
41
00:01:55,033 --> 00:01:56,934
WRITE DOWN EGGS.
42
00:01:56,934 --> 00:01:59,167
WHICH COMES FIRST,
CHICKEN OR EGGS?
43
00:01:59,167 --> 00:02:00,534
YOU WANT TO DO THIS?
44
00:02:00,534 --> 00:02:02,267
I'M WRITING
"EGGS." [TELEPHONE
45
00:02:02,267 --> 00:02:04,400
HELLO.
46
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,534
HI, SYLVIA.
47
00:02:07,534 --> 00:02:09,033
REALLY?
48
00:02:09,033 --> 00:02:10,067
NOONISH.
49
00:02:10,067 --> 00:02:11,200
NO.
50
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:14,167
O.K., WE'LL BE THERE.
BYE-BYE.
51
00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:15,901
UNLESS POSSIBLY YES.
52
00:02:15,901 --> 00:02:16,868
SHE'S HAVING A THING.
53
00:02:16,868 --> 00:02:17,868
A THING?
54
00:02:17,868 --> 00:02:19,000
A LUNCH.
55
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,834
WE HAVE NO TIME.
56
00:02:20,834 --> 00:02:23,334
WE GOT SCOOTING,
WE GOT ZIPPING,
57
00:02:23,334 --> 00:02:25,567
AT SOME POINT,
I HAVE TO CALL MY EDITOR.
58
00:02:25,567 --> 00:02:27,300
I HAVE TO LISTEN
TO SALMON.
59
00:02:29,133 --> 00:02:30,400
I'M SORRY?
60
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,367
FOR THAT FISH MOVIE.
61
00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:35,234
DID YOU KNOW
SALMON ACTUALLY SING TO EACH OTHER?
62
00:02:35,234 --> 00:02:37,000
WHAT--WHAT
DO THEY SING?
63
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,300
IRONICALLY, SHOW TUNES.
64
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,934
WELL, SHE NEEDS
A PLATE WE BORROWED.
65
00:02:42,934 --> 00:02:44,067
A PLATE?
A DISH.
66
00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:45,367
A DISH?
67
00:02:45,367 --> 00:02:47,267
ARE YOU
90 YEARS OLD?
68
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:49,400
A FARBERWARE DISH.
SHE NEEDS IT BACK.
69
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,200
OH, ARE YOU BLIND.
70
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:52,901
WHAT?
71
00:02:52,901 --> 00:02:55,501
MY MOTHER HAS, LIKE,
6,000 FARBERWARE DISHES.
72
00:02:55,501 --> 00:02:57,467
FARBER CALLS HER FOR DISHES.
73
00:02:57,467 --> 00:03:00,334
THIS IS--THIS IS A TRICK.
74
00:03:00,334 --> 00:03:02,200
I WANT TO SEE HER.
SO WHAT?
75
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:03,934
EXCUSE ME?
76
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,167
SHE'S GOING TO BE
OUR CHILDREN'S GRANDMOTHER.
77
00:03:06,167 --> 00:03:08,501
I'D LIKE TO TRY TO
CULTIVATE SOME SORT OF RELATIONSHIP.
78
00:03:08,501 --> 00:03:10,901
CAN WE CULTIVATE
ANOTHER DAY?
79
00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:13,133
WE'RE IN SERIOUS
ERRAND-RUNNING TROUBLE.
80
00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:16,167
I'M DOWN TO A THONG
AND TUBE SOCKS.
81
00:03:16,167 --> 00:03:18,200
I BELIEVE
THAT'S MY THONG.
82
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,067
THEN I'M DOWN TO
A PAIR OF TUBE SOCKS.
83
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:23,701
YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HER?
84
00:03:23,701 --> 00:03:25,601
I VERY MUCH CARE.
85
00:03:25,601 --> 00:03:28,300
BUT I ALSO KNOW
THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION.
86
00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:30,367
NOBODY CULTIVATES
A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MOTHER.
87
00:03:30,367 --> 00:03:31,667
EITHER SHE CULTIVATES YOU,
88
00:03:31,667 --> 00:03:33,667
OR YOU JUST DON'T
PLANT ANYTHING THAT YEAR.
89
00:03:34,834 --> 00:03:35,901
I'M NOT
BELIEVING THAT.
90
00:03:35,901 --> 00:03:37,501
OH, YEAH,
'CAUSE YOU KNOW.
91
00:03:37,501 --> 00:03:39,801
COME ON. WE'LL WHIZ
TO 23rd STREET
92
00:03:39,801 --> 00:03:41,200
AFTER HOPPING OVER TO 6th.
93
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,033
MURRAY, COME ON.
94
00:03:43,033 --> 00:03:44,901
[WOOF]
LOBBY FULL OF POODLES.
95
00:03:44,901 --> 00:03:46,634
WHY DO YOU LIE TO HIM?
96
00:03:46,634 --> 00:03:48,100
WHAT?
97
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,601
WHAT DO WE LIKE?
98
00:03:56,601 --> 00:03:58,734
"I CAN'T BELIEVE
IT'S NOT BUTTER"
99
00:03:58,734 --> 00:04:00,734
OR "YOU'RE A JACKASS
IF YOU THINK IT'S MARGARINE"?
100
00:04:00,734 --> 00:04:02,534
NOT ON THE LIST.
101
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,133
SUCH CONFIDENCE
IN THAT LIST.
102
00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:05,167
THAT'S RIGHT.
103
00:04:05,167 --> 00:04:06,968
ME, I GO ON HUNCHES.
104
00:04:06,968 --> 00:04:08,133
FORGET IT.
105
00:04:08,133 --> 00:04:10,133
IT'S 100 CONES.
106
00:04:10,133 --> 00:04:11,968
YOU FORGOT THE LIST,
DIDN'T YOU?
107
00:04:11,968 --> 00:04:13,167
MAYBE I DID...
108
00:04:13,167 --> 00:04:14,467
DOG FOOD.
109
00:04:14,467 --> 00:04:16,200
HE HATES
THIS DRY STUFF.
110
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,300
IT'S LOW SODIUM.
111
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,534
WHAT'S IT MEAN
WHEN YOUR DOG
112
00:04:20,534 --> 00:04:22,901
AND YOUR FATHER ARE
ON THE SAME DIET?
113
00:04:22,901 --> 00:04:25,100
SOON, MURRAY WILL BE
WEARING WHITE PANTS.
114
00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:26,100
FUNNY.
115
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,100
YAMS.
116
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,667
YAMS.
117
00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:30,901
I THINK I'LL TELL
SYLVIA TODAY.
118
00:04:30,901 --> 00:04:32,133
OH, DON'T.
119
00:04:32,133 --> 00:04:33,567
WHY NOT?
120
00:04:33,567 --> 00:04:35,968
WHY WOULD--
WHY START TROUBLE?
121
00:04:35,968 --> 00:04:38,501
SHE SHOULD KNOW
WE'RE TRYING TO GET PREGNANT.
122
00:04:38,501 --> 00:04:40,167
WHY SHARE THAT
WITH PEOPLE?
123
00:04:40,167 --> 00:04:42,801
IT'S NOT "PEOPLE."
IT'S FAMILY.
124
00:04:42,801 --> 00:04:45,000
WELL, WHY NOT--
LET'S WAIT TILL WE'RE PREGNANT.
125
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,868
WE CAN PRESENT IT
AS A DONE DEAL.
126
00:04:47,868 --> 00:04:49,667
"HEY, EVERYBODY,
NOT ONLY ARE WE TRYING...
127
00:04:49,667 --> 00:04:50,868
WE'RE SUCCEEDING."
128
00:04:50,868 --> 00:04:54,601
I THINK SHE WOULD
LIKE TO KNOW.
129
00:04:54,601 --> 00:04:57,267
WHAT'S YOUR BIG
FANTASY THERE?
130
00:04:57,267 --> 00:05:01,534
YOU THINK SHE'S GOING TO
GIVE YOU A BIG HUG AND BE YOUR BEST FRIEND?
131
00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:03,200
NO.
132
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,434
YOU THINK SHE'LL
GIVE YOU A BIG HUG--
133
00:05:05,434 --> 00:05:08,033
WHAT IS WRONG
WITH A BIG HUG?
134
00:05:08,033 --> 00:05:10,033
IT'S NOT
GOING TO HAPPEN.
135
00:05:10,033 --> 00:05:12,067
I SAY THIS
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
136
00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:13,567
FINE.
137
00:05:13,567 --> 00:05:15,934
REALLY FINE
OR KISS-MY-ASS FINE?
138
00:05:15,934 --> 00:05:16,934
REALLY FINE.
139
00:05:16,934 --> 00:05:18,300
ALL...RIGHT.
140
00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:25,868
YOU O.K. THERE, TIGER?
141
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,734
NEVER HAD MORE
FUN THAN THIS.
142
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,367
HEY.
HEY. HEY.
143
00:05:30,367 --> 00:05:31,367
HEY...
144
00:05:31,367 --> 00:05:33,000
[WOOF]
MURRAY SAYS "HEY."
145
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,801
WHAT, YOU
RUNNING ERRANDS?
146
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:37,567
NO. WE'RE
BEDOUINS NOW.
147
00:05:37,567 --> 00:05:39,334
WHAT'S WITH
ALL THIS STUFF?
148
00:05:39,334 --> 00:05:40,567
WHAT'S GOING ON?
149
00:05:40,567 --> 00:05:41,968
YOUR MOTHER--
150
00:05:41,968 --> 00:05:44,000
I DON'T WANT TO
TALK ABOUT IT.
151
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,400
OH, GOOD.
YOU'RE HERE.
152
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:46,634
WE BROUGHT
YOUR DISH.
153
00:05:46,634 --> 00:05:48,067
WHAT DISH?
154
00:05:48,067 --> 00:05:50,400
SEE WHY IT'S FOOLISH
TO EVER DOUBT ME?
155
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:51,968
OH, THE DISH.
I FORGOT.
156
00:05:51,968 --> 00:05:52,968
THANK YOU.
157
00:05:52,968 --> 00:05:54,467
YEAH, O.K.
158
00:05:54,467 --> 00:05:56,234
WHAT'S GOING ON.
WHAT'S THE TRICK?
159
00:05:56,234 --> 00:05:57,701
THERE'S NO TRICK.
160
00:05:57,701 --> 00:05:59,267
THANK GOD--THE DISH.
161
00:06:01,934 --> 00:06:02,968
WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?
162
00:06:02,968 --> 00:06:05,133
NO TRICK.
163
00:06:05,133 --> 00:06:06,868
I WAS LISTENING
TO TELEVISION. YOU KNOW MARTHA STEWART?
164
00:06:06,868 --> 00:06:08,534
VERY STURDY GIRL.
165
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,033
ISN'T SHE GREAT?
166
00:06:10,033 --> 00:06:12,934
SHE COULD USE
A STIFF DRINK.
167
00:06:12,934 --> 00:06:15,167
BUT SHE HAD
AN INTERESTING THING FOR ME.
168
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,534
FOR YOU?
169
00:06:16,534 --> 00:06:18,767
SHE SUGGESTED I SHOULD
GATHER THE FAMILY
170
00:06:18,767 --> 00:06:21,467
AND DECIDE
WHO WILL GET WHAT OF MINE
171
00:06:21,467 --> 00:06:22,901
AFTER I GO OVER.
172
00:06:22,901 --> 00:06:24,534
GO OVER?
173
00:06:24,534 --> 00:06:26,167
PASS ON.
174
00:06:26,167 --> 00:06:29,267
YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO PASS ON. YOU'RE GOING TO DIE.
175
00:06:29,267 --> 00:06:31,334
ANYWAY, YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO DIE.
176
00:06:31,334 --> 00:06:32,901
IS SOMETHING
GOING ON?
177
00:06:32,901 --> 00:06:34,567
NO, NO.
I FIGURE 30 YEARS.
178
00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:36,067
NO WAITING TILL
THE LAST MINUTE.
179
00:06:36,067 --> 00:06:37,701
EXACTLY.
180
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:38,734
YOU TRICKED US.
181
00:06:38,734 --> 00:06:40,334
I TRICKED YOU.
182
00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:42,434
SO YOU'RE
A BIG DETECTIVE.
183
00:06:42,434 --> 00:06:44,501
CAN WE GO NOW?
184
00:06:44,501 --> 00:06:46,100
NO.
185
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:47,734
I THINK IT'S
A WONDERFUL IDEA.
186
00:06:47,734 --> 00:06:49,133
GOOD, HONEY.
187
00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:51,133
LOOK,
IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.
188
00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:54,400
MARTHA TOLD ME
IT WOULD PREVENT FIGHTS AFTER I'M GONE.
189
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,634
WHAT WOULD YOU CARE?
YOU'LL BE GONE.
190
00:06:56,634 --> 00:06:58,534
MAYBE YOU COME BACK.
191
00:06:58,534 --> 00:07:00,834
IF I'M GOING TO BE
REINCARNATED,
192
00:07:00,834 --> 00:07:03,601
I DON'T WANT
AGGRAVATION ON TOP OF IT.
193
00:07:03,601 --> 00:07:05,300
IT WOULDN'T BE A PICNIC
FOR US, EITHER.
194
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,100
DON'T BE CUTE.
195
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:09,501
PAUL, BLUE STICKERS
ARE FOR YOU,
196
00:07:09,501 --> 00:07:12,734
UH, YELLOW
ARE FOR DEBBIE,
197
00:07:12,734 --> 00:07:16,267
AND RED IS FOR SHARON,
ORANGE IS FOR IRA,
198
00:07:16,267 --> 00:07:18,567
AND HERE'S A COUPLE
FOR HER.
199
00:07:18,567 --> 00:07:20,167
MAYBE SHE'LL FIND
SOMETHING RUSTIC.
200
00:07:20,167 --> 00:07:21,334
THANK YOU.
201
00:07:21,334 --> 00:07:22,367
YOU'RE WELCOME.
202
00:07:22,367 --> 00:07:24,234
MM, WHAT A GOOD CHIN.
203
00:07:24,234 --> 00:07:25,667
ISN'T HER CHIN NICE?
204
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:27,167
SHE'S A DELIGHT.
205
00:07:27,167 --> 00:07:29,334
O.K., NOW CAN WE GO?
206
00:07:29,334 --> 00:07:30,567
IT'LL MAKE HER
HAPPY.
207
00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:31,868
FOR HOW LONG?
208
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,400
45 MINUTES.
209
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,634
O.K. 45 MINUTES
OF HAPPY.
210
00:07:35,634 --> 00:07:37,868
SHE CARRIED YOU
FOR NINE MONTHS.
211
00:07:37,868 --> 00:07:40,567
OH, I PAID THAT BACK
YEARS AGO.
212
00:07:40,567 --> 00:07:41,901
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
213
00:07:41,901 --> 00:07:44,200
I'LL GET IT.
IT'S SHARON.
214
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,934
SHE KNOWS WHO IT IS
BY THE RING.
215
00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:49,300
USED TO SCARE ME.
NOW I THINK IT'S CUTE.
216
00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:50,267
HI, PAULIE.
217
00:07:50,267 --> 00:07:51,501
YOU, TOO?
218
00:07:51,501 --> 00:07:53,100
I CALLED
TO WARN YOU.
219
00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:55,267
HOW DID WE BOTH
WALTZ INTO THIS TRAP?
220
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:56,367
HELLO.
221
00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:57,400
HI, SHARON.
222
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,467
FIRST OF ALL,
223
00:07:59,467 --> 00:08:01,367
EVERYTHING TAGGED
OVER THE PHONE DOESN'T COUNT.
224
00:08:01,367 --> 00:08:02,934
NO FIGHTING.
225
00:08:02,934 --> 00:08:04,634
WE'RE NOT FIGHTING.
HERE'S WHY--
226
00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:06,334
WE NEVER
DISCUSSED THIS.
227
00:08:06,334 --> 00:08:09,033
ONE WEEKEND
IN THE FALL
228
00:08:09,033 --> 00:08:11,601
YOU WAKE UP
AND DECIDE YOU'RE INHERITING MOM'S CHINA?
229
00:08:11,601 --> 00:08:13,901
STOP BEING
SO HARD ON HER.
230
00:08:13,901 --> 00:08:15,567
STOP SPOILING HER.
231
00:08:15,567 --> 00:08:17,467
WE'RE NOT TALKING
ABOUT YOU.
232
00:08:17,467 --> 00:08:19,167
FOR GOD'S SAKE,
SHE'S SEPARATED.
233
00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:20,934
BECAUSE SHE'S SPOILED.
234
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,634
STEVE ALWAYS COMPLAINED
HOW SHE SULKED.
235
00:08:23,634 --> 00:08:26,434
WE'RE NOT TALKING
ABOUT YOU.
236
00:08:26,434 --> 00:08:28,601
THAT STEVE
IS NO PRIZE.
237
00:08:28,601 --> 00:08:30,334
NO ONE WE MARRY'S
A PRIZE.
238
00:08:30,334 --> 00:08:31,934
NOT A FIRST PRIZE.
239
00:08:31,934 --> 00:08:33,868
IF SHE WANTS SOMETHING,
240
00:08:33,868 --> 00:08:37,567
LET HER GET HER BIG ASS
OUT OF BED AND GET IT.
241
00:08:37,567 --> 00:08:39,367
YES, WE ARE
TALKING ABOUT YOU.
242
00:08:40,934 --> 00:08:44,334
SEE, WITH MOM'S PLAN,
THERE'S NO FRICTION, NO FIGHTING.
243
00:08:44,334 --> 00:08:45,334
HOW YA DOIN',
DEB?
244
00:08:45,334 --> 00:08:46,300
GREAT.
245
00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:49,334
CAN I TELL HER?
246
00:08:49,334 --> 00:08:50,534
WHAT?
WHAT?
247
00:08:50,534 --> 00:08:51,834
YOU KNOW. THE THING.
248
00:08:51,834 --> 00:08:54,133
THE PERSONAL THING?
249
00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:56,100
THE BIG SENSITIVE THING
THAT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS YET?
250
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,367
GO AHEAD.
251
00:08:57,367 --> 00:08:59,334
PAUL AND I ARE TRYING.
252
00:08:59,334 --> 00:09:00,300
YOU'RE KIDDING!
253
00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:02,567
OH, GOOD FOR YOU.
254
00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:04,634
IT'S ABOUT TIME.
255
00:09:04,634 --> 00:09:06,234
I'M THINKING
OF TELLING YOUR MOTHER.
256
00:09:06,234 --> 00:09:07,234
WHY?
257
00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:11,601
WHAT, NOBODY TAGGED
THE COUCH YET?
258
00:09:11,601 --> 00:09:13,701
I'M NOT SURE
THIS COUCH IS REALLY "US."
259
00:09:13,701 --> 00:09:15,734
IT COULD BE US.
260
00:09:15,734 --> 00:09:18,467
THE WAY YOU DECORATE,
NOTHING DOESN'T GO.
261
00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:19,767
WHAT DO THEY
CALL THAT?
262
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,033
ECLECTIC.
263
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,734
SHE MEANT THAT GOOD.
264
00:09:24,734 --> 00:09:26,334
BUT WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
265
00:09:26,334 --> 00:09:28,367
IT'S A NICE COUCH.
266
00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:31,968
IF YOU'RE IN
FRED SANFORD'S HOUSE.
267
00:09:31,968 --> 00:09:34,968
WE STILL DON'T KNOW
WHAT COLOR THIS COUCH IS.
268
00:09:34,968 --> 00:09:37,133
SHE'S GOT
THREE GENERATIONS OF SLIP COVERS ON THERE.
269
00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:39,901
YOU CAN TELL WHAT DECADE
SOMETHING'S FROM
270
00:09:39,901 --> 00:09:41,634
BY WHAT SLIP COVER
IT'S BETWEEN.
271
00:09:41,634 --> 00:09:43,334
LIKE RINGS OF A TREE.
272
00:09:43,334 --> 00:09:45,133
HEY, MURRAY'S
NOT EATING.
273
00:09:45,133 --> 00:09:46,334
IT'S LOW SODIUM.
274
00:09:46,334 --> 00:09:48,267
OH.
275
00:09:48,267 --> 00:09:52,300
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE
PLAIN SLICED CHICKEN, HUH?
276
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:56,968
YA PUT A LITTLE
LEMON ON IT, IT'S NOT SO TERRIBLE.
277
00:09:56,968 --> 00:09:59,367
I'M WATCHING
THE SUNSHINE BOYS HERE.
278
00:09:59,367 --> 00:10:00,501
HEY.
279
00:10:00,501 --> 00:10:02,400
YOU'RE LATE.
I GOT COFFEE.
280
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,067
YOU BOUGHT
COFFEE? YEAH.
281
00:10:04,067 --> 00:10:06,434
I HAVE COFFEE.
NOW YOU HAVE MORE.
282
00:10:06,434 --> 00:10:07,767
DON'T BE CUTE.
283
00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:09,901
HEY, DID YOU KNOW
ABOUT THIS?
284
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,434
I LOVE MARTHA STEWART.
285
00:10:11,434 --> 00:10:12,567
WHAT?
286
00:10:12,567 --> 00:10:14,167
SHE'S CUTE,
AND SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING.
287
00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:17,467
LOOK AT THESE.
288
00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:18,968
OH, BOY.
289
00:10:18,968 --> 00:10:21,901
YOUR LITTLE FEET
FIT RIGHT IN HERE?
290
00:10:21,901 --> 00:10:23,467
THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T
WALK UNTIL I WAS 7 1/2.
291
00:10:25,701 --> 00:10:27,467
THOSE ARE
NOT TAGGABLE.
292
00:10:27,467 --> 00:10:30,000
OKEY-DOKEY.
293
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,734
HOW ABOUT THIS BEAUTY?
294
00:10:31,734 --> 00:10:33,701
WHAT'S THAT?
295
00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:35,734
THIS IS HOW
THEY USED TO FEED THE MILLS BROTHERS.
296
00:10:35,734 --> 00:10:37,300
WHO WANTS
THIS SHAMPOO?
297
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:38,367
HUH?
298
00:10:38,367 --> 00:10:39,801
SHAMPOO?
299
00:10:39,801 --> 00:10:41,367
DAD, IF I'M
NOT MISTAKEN,
300
00:10:41,367 --> 00:10:44,267
I THINK
MARTHA INTENDED THE BIG ITEMS TO GO.
301
00:10:44,267 --> 00:10:46,000
NEVER OPENED,
FROM THE HYATT.
302
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,200
WHICH I THINK--NO.
303
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,300
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
THIS WASN'T MY IDEA.
304
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:51,534
HEY,
DID MURRAY EAT?
305
00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:52,934
OH, LIKE AN ANIMAL.
306
00:10:52,934 --> 00:10:54,601
SAY,
I WANT TO TALK.
307
00:10:54,601 --> 00:10:57,167
CAN IT WAIT?
I GOT TO CALL MY EDITOR.
308
00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:59,133
I HAVE TO LISTEN
TO AN AUDIO TRACK.
309
00:10:59,133 --> 00:11:00,701
A WHAT?
310
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:04,601
A TRACK. IN THIS CASE,
IT'S SALMON THAT, LIKE, SING.
311
00:11:04,601 --> 00:11:06,834
SMOKED SALMON?
312
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:10,167
IT'S--I'M GOING TO
USE THE PHONE FOR A SECOND.
313
00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:11,567
I GOT US COFFEE.
314
00:11:11,567 --> 00:11:13,234
MORE COFFEE?
OH, JEEZ...
315
00:11:13,234 --> 00:11:15,434
WHO BUYS COFFEE?
TAKE IT.
316
00:11:15,434 --> 00:11:16,801
YOU GET THE SALAMI?
YEAH.
317
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,300
AH, GREAT.
318
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:20,000
HEY. NO SALT.
[DOG BARKS]
319
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,834
HEY, MURRAY,
NO SALT.
320
00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:25,667
I'LL GET THAT.
COME HERE.
321
00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:28,067
WHAT DID WE SAY?
MURRAY, DROP THAT.
322
00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:29,300
HOW YOU DOING,
BURT?
323
00:11:30,601 --> 00:11:33,000
IN THE END, YOU KNOW
WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO?
324
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,133
WE BUY TOO MUCH CRAP.
325
00:11:35,133 --> 00:11:39,534
I, UM, KIND OF WANTED
TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
326
00:11:39,534 --> 00:11:41,467
TELL ME SOMETHING?
327
00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:44,467
PAUL AND I ARE
TRYING TO HAVE A BABY.
328
00:11:44,467 --> 00:11:45,834
YOU'RE KIDDING.
329
00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:47,801
HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED?
330
00:11:47,801 --> 00:11:49,300
NO, NO.
WE'RE FINE.
331
00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:51,133
YOU SURE?
I'M SURE.
332
00:11:51,133 --> 00:11:53,067
I WANT TO TAKE HIM
TO THE ZOO.
333
00:11:53,067 --> 00:11:54,801
WHAT IF HE'S A SHE?
334
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,734
I'LL--I'LL TAKE
THEM BOTH,
335
00:11:56,734 --> 00:11:57,901
THEN WE'LL
HAVE ICE CREAM.
336
00:11:57,901 --> 00:11:59,133
THAT'D BE GREAT.
337
00:11:59,133 --> 00:12:00,534
UNLESS
ICE CREAM'S BAD--
338
00:12:00,534 --> 00:12:01,767
NO. A LITTLE'S O.K.
339
00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:03,000
A LITTLE IS PLENTY.
340
00:12:05,501 --> 00:12:07,767
I'M THINKING
OF TELLING SYLVIA.
341
00:12:07,767 --> 00:12:08,901
WHY?
342
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,300
WHAT IS WITH YOU?
343
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:16,901
WHAT?
344
00:12:16,901 --> 00:12:19,400
HOW STUPID IS IT
THAT YOU'RE HERE?
345
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,000
WHAT COULD YOU
POSSIBLY WANT?
346
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,000
A SCARF.
347
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,667
A SCARF.
348
00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:26,534
A FANCY SCARF
WITH A COACH AND HORSES.
349
00:12:26,534 --> 00:12:28,534
IT'S FOR MY MA.
350
00:12:28,534 --> 00:12:31,033
YOU CHEAP BASTARD.
BUY HER SOMETHING.
351
00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:34,200
SHE THINKS
SHE LEFT IT HERE.
352
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,801
ACTUALLY, SHE THINKS
SYLVIA BORROWED IT AND NEVER RETURNED IT.
353
00:12:36,801 --> 00:12:38,534
WHEN WAS THIS?
354
00:12:38,534 --> 00:12:40,601
I DON'T KNOW.
355
00:12:40,601 --> 00:12:43,300
SUPPOSEDLY
HAPPY ROCKEFELLER TRIPPED ON IT AT A RALLY.
356
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:44,534
HOW YOU DOING?
357
00:12:44,534 --> 00:12:46,167
I'M O.K.
358
00:12:46,167 --> 00:12:49,934
SO...PAUL AND I
HAVE SOME NEWS.
359
00:12:49,934 --> 00:12:51,000
NO.
360
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,367
WHAT?
361
00:12:52,367 --> 00:12:53,634
YOU JUST STARTED
TRYING.
362
00:12:53,634 --> 00:12:55,434
YOU TOLD HIM?
363
00:12:55,434 --> 00:12:57,334
I TOLD HIM
'CAUSE IT'S HIM.
364
00:12:57,334 --> 00:12:58,501
YOU'RE PREGNANT?
365
00:12:58,501 --> 00:13:00,200
NO, NO.
WE'RE TRYING.
366
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,601
WELL, POINT IS,
YOU'RE HAVING FUN.
367
00:13:01,601 --> 00:13:02,701
DOING OUR BEST.
368
00:13:02,701 --> 00:13:04,567
TOLD SYLVIA?
CONSIDERING IT.
369
00:13:04,567 --> 00:13:07,300
WHY?
370
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:10,701
I HAVE THIS WONDERFUL
FREEZER BAG SEALING SYSTEM.
371
00:13:10,701 --> 00:13:12,300
KEEPS SOUP
FOR SIX YEARS.
372
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:13,734
STILL UNTAGGED.
373
00:13:13,734 --> 00:13:15,200
STILL UNTAGGED?
374
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,100
THOUGHT
IT'D GO FIRST.
375
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:17,100
SYLVIA...
376
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,734
YOU WANT
THE SEALER SYSTEM?
377
00:13:18,734 --> 00:13:21,033
SURE.
IT'S YOURS.
378
00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:23,367
THERE'S 5,000
PLASTIC BAGS IN THE CLOSET.
379
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:25,400
I'LL GO GET THEM.
380
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:26,601
LET'S GO
FREEZE STUFF RIGHT NOW.
381
00:13:26,601 --> 00:13:27,667
UH, SYLVIA...
382
00:13:27,667 --> 00:13:29,367
WHAT IS IT, DEAR?
383
00:13:29,367 --> 00:13:31,801
CAN I JUST TALK
TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
384
00:13:31,801 --> 00:13:32,734
OF COURSE.
385
00:13:34,334 --> 00:13:35,300
HOW YA DOIN'?
386
00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:36,467
FINE.
387
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,200
GOOD.
388
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:39,501
WAS THERE
ANYTHING ELSE?
389
00:13:39,501 --> 00:13:41,133
YES. UM...
390
00:13:41,133 --> 00:13:42,901
PAUL AND I HAVE
SOME WONDERFUL NEWS.
391
00:13:42,901 --> 00:13:44,167
AND WHAT'S THAT,
HONEY?
392
00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:45,934
WE'RE TRYING.
393
00:13:45,934 --> 00:13:47,467
TRYING.
394
00:13:47,467 --> 00:13:49,734
WE'RE TRYING
TO GET PREGNANT.
395
00:13:49,734 --> 00:13:50,901
OH.
396
00:13:50,901 --> 00:13:52,300
GOOD FOR YOU.
397
00:13:58,868 --> 00:14:00,033
I'LL GET THE BAGS.
398
00:14:04,434 --> 00:14:07,100
WHO COULD HAVE SEEN
THAT ONE COMING?
399
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,234
THAT'S IT.
I GIVE UP.
400
00:14:21,234 --> 00:14:23,167
"CULTIVATE A RELATIONSHIP."
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
401
00:14:23,167 --> 00:14:24,634
SWEETIE--
402
00:14:24,634 --> 00:14:25,634
IF SHE WEREN'T
YOUR MOTHER--
403
00:14:25,634 --> 00:14:28,167
THEN WHAT?
THEN SOMETHING...
404
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,701
VERY, VERY BAD.
405
00:14:33,033 --> 00:14:34,834
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
406
00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:36,267
IT'S
YOUR EDITOR.
407
00:14:36,267 --> 00:14:37,801
HOW DOES SHE DO THAT?
408
00:14:37,801 --> 00:14:38,901
NOBODY KNOWS.
409
00:14:38,901 --> 00:14:40,367
DON'T GET THAT.
LISTEN--
410
00:14:40,367 --> 00:14:42,167
I'M NOT SPEAKING
ILL OF HER.
411
00:14:42,167 --> 00:14:44,367
I'M SAYING SHE'S NEEDY.
412
00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:47,033
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN
NEEDINESS LIKE THAT?
413
00:14:47,033 --> 00:14:48,601
HAVE YOU? HAVE YOU?
414
00:14:50,033 --> 00:14:51,434
HAVE YOU?
415
00:14:51,434 --> 00:14:52,534
NO.
416
00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,601
NO.
417
00:14:55,601 --> 00:14:57,534
AND OVERSENSITIVE
AS A RABBIT'S EYE.
418
00:14:57,534 --> 00:14:58,467
ALL RIGHT.
419
00:14:58,467 --> 00:15:00,067
HELLO?
420
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:01,968
MEANTIME, NOBODY'S
EATING MY LOX.
421
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:04,067
PUT A TAG ON IT.
422
00:15:04,067 --> 00:15:06,634
THEY'LL HAVE IT
WHEN YOU GO OVER.
423
00:15:06,634 --> 00:15:08,200
ALL RIGHT,
MR. METZGER,
424
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,400
LET ME HEAR
THEM FISHIES SING.
425
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,868
METZGER!
GIANTS' SHORTSTOP. ROGER METZGER.
426
00:15:11,868 --> 00:15:13,567
NUMBER 8.
427
00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:15,701
ACTUALLY
ON THE PHONE, RIGHT HERE.
428
00:15:15,701 --> 00:15:18,801
WHERE IS SHE,
HIDING IN THE KITCHEN?
429
00:15:18,801 --> 00:15:21,267
YOU COULD MAKE
A LITTLE EFFORT WITH HER, MOM.
430
00:15:21,267 --> 00:15:23,934
I MADE A TREMENDOUS
EFFORT WITH HER.
431
00:15:23,934 --> 00:15:25,734
YOU NEVER
MADE AN EFFORT,
432
00:15:25,734 --> 00:15:29,267
SAME WITH GARY
AND SAME WITH STEVE.
433
00:15:29,267 --> 00:15:32,467
I MADE
AN EFFORT WITH GARY. CERTAINLY WITH STEVE.
434
00:15:32,467 --> 00:15:34,200
YOU MADE NO EFFORT
WITH STEVE.
435
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,734
EVERYBODY MAKE AN EFFORT
MORE QUIETLY. THANK YOU.
436
00:15:36,734 --> 00:15:38,200
WHO ARE YOU
TALKING TO?
437
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,167
ASK DAD.
FISH.
438
00:15:40,167 --> 00:15:43,000
A PHONE
IN THE BEDROOM FOR $6 A MONTH
439
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,100
WOULDN'T BE
SO BAD.
440
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:48,534
IT WOULDN'T KILL YOU
TO GO TALK TO HER.
441
00:15:48,534 --> 00:15:50,667
STOP TELLING ME
WHAT'LL KILL ME.
442
00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:53,133
SHOULD I GO
TALK TO HER?
443
00:15:53,133 --> 00:15:55,000
IT WOULDN'T
KILL YOU.
444
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,767
YOU HAD SALAMI.
445
00:15:58,801 --> 00:16:03,000
YOU WOULDN'T THINK
A FISH WOULD KNOW ALL OF GUYS AND DOLLS.
446
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:07,000
CAN WE TALK,
OR ARE YOU WAITING FOR A SHARK TO YODEL?
447
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,300
WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?
448
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,334
HERE'S WHAT.
449
00:16:10,334 --> 00:16:13,234
YOU SEE, PAULIE,
WHEN YOU AND YOUR SISTERS WERE SMALL,
450
00:16:13,234 --> 00:16:15,400
I DID
WHAT A FATHER DOES.
451
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,767
I BOUGHT
SOME STOCKS, SOME SHARES,
452
00:16:17,767 --> 00:16:20,200
SOME--SOME
SHARES OF THINGS.
453
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:21,534
YOU BOUGHT SOME STOCKS?
454
00:16:21,534 --> 00:16:22,868
THAT'S WHAT
I'M SAYING.
455
00:16:22,868 --> 00:16:24,200
YOUR SISTER
SHARON'S STOCKS--
456
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,167
MERCK--
457
00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:29,334
GOD BLESS IT,
WHAT A COMPANY.
458
00:16:29,334 --> 00:16:30,634
THAT'S GOOD.
459
00:16:30,634 --> 00:16:31,868
YEAH. THEN
DEBBIE'S STOCKS--
460
00:16:31,868 --> 00:16:33,834
McDONNELL DOUGLAS--
461
00:16:33,834 --> 00:16:34,901
FFFFZZZ...
462
00:16:34,901 --> 00:16:36,701
LIKE A ROCKET,
463
00:16:36,701 --> 00:16:38,534
WHICH THEY MAKE,
BY THE WAY.
464
00:16:38,534 --> 00:16:39,601
GREAT, HUH?
465
00:16:39,601 --> 00:16:41,167
GOOD FOR DEBBIE.
466
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,734
NOW, YOUR STOCK--
467
00:16:43,734 --> 00:16:46,000
U.S. CYCLAMATES...
468
00:16:47,167 --> 00:16:48,267
O.K.
469
00:16:48,267 --> 00:16:49,868
WHO KNEW?
470
00:16:49,868 --> 00:16:52,300
TAB WAS ONLY
ONE CALORIE.
471
00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:55,467
FAT WOMEN THOUGHT
THEY WERE SEEING THE HAND OF GOD.
472
00:16:55,467 --> 00:16:57,467
WHO COULD BLAME THEM?
473
00:16:57,467 --> 00:17:00,601
I WANT TO DO
SOMETHING FOR YOU TO MAKE IT UP.
474
00:17:00,601 --> 00:17:01,868
THAT'S SILLY.
475
00:17:01,868 --> 00:17:03,334
IT'S THE LEAST
I CAN DO.
476
00:17:03,334 --> 00:17:04,767
NO, NO.
477
00:17:04,767 --> 00:17:06,400
PLEASE,
IT'S JUST SILLY.
478
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,767
HERE.
479
00:17:09,534 --> 00:17:11,300
WHAT IS THIS?
480
00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:15,868
MY DAD GAVE ME THAT
MONEY CLIP WHEN HE CAME BACK FROM THE WAR.
481
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,801
O.K. YOU BOUGHT THIS.
482
00:17:17,801 --> 00:17:19,834
HUH?
483
00:17:19,834 --> 00:17:22,267
I WAS WITH YOU
WHEN YOU BOUGHT THIS.
484
00:17:24,367 --> 00:17:28,968
I WANT TO GIVE YOU
SOMETHING YOU CAN GIVE TO YOUR SON.
485
00:17:28,968 --> 00:17:31,868
WELL, FAIR ENOUGH.
O.K.
486
00:17:31,868 --> 00:17:33,868
LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING.
487
00:17:33,868 --> 00:17:36,000
NO MATTER
WHEN I DIE,
488
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,234
IT'S GOING TO
PISS ME OFF.
489
00:17:38,234 --> 00:17:40,634
HEY, ME, TOO.
490
00:17:40,634 --> 00:17:42,367
IS EVERYBODY
TAGGING?
491
00:17:42,367 --> 00:17:43,801
WE'RE TAGGING.
YEAH, YEAH...
492
00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:45,868
EXCUSE ME.
493
00:17:45,868 --> 00:17:47,567
HOW YOU DOING?
LET'S JUST GO.
494
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,334
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
495
00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:50,734
YOU'RE RIGHT.
THERE'S NO POINT.
496
00:17:50,734 --> 00:17:52,100
YOUR MOTHER AND I
WILL NEVER BE PALS.
497
00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:54,234
THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTS.
SHE WINS.
498
00:17:54,234 --> 00:17:55,567
O.K. THAT'S IT.
499
00:17:55,567 --> 00:17:58,133
I'M TALKING TO HER.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
500
00:17:58,133 --> 00:18:01,167
I DON'T LIKE HER
MAKING YOU FEEL LIKE THIS.
501
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:02,734
THIS IS
THE LAST TIME.
502
00:18:02,734 --> 00:18:04,033
WHAT WILL YOU SAY?
503
00:18:04,033 --> 00:18:05,334
I KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
504
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,601
YOU'RE MY WIFE,
THE WOMAN I LOVE.
505
00:18:07,601 --> 00:18:09,133
IT'S TIME FOR HER
TO TREAT YOU LIKE THAT.
506
00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:11,167
AND THE GRANDCHILD THING.
YEAH.
507
00:18:11,167 --> 00:18:14,467
YOU'RE GOING TO
GIVE BIRTH TO HER FLESH AND BLOOD.
508
00:18:14,467 --> 00:18:16,000
ENOUGH
OF THESE GAMES.
509
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,167
THE COLDNESS.
THAT, TOO.
510
00:18:17,167 --> 00:18:19,334
WHAT ABOUT IT?
NO COLDNESS.
511
00:18:19,334 --> 00:18:20,834
I'LL SAY,
"NO MORE COLDNESS."
512
00:18:20,834 --> 00:18:22,334
NO CRITICISM
AS A MOTHER.
513
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:23,968
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU DO IT, BECAUSE...
514
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:31,400
WHAT DO YOU SAY
TO SOMEONE YOU CAN'T TALK TO?
515
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:32,601
SHE'S YOUR
DAUGHTER-IN-LAW.
516
00:18:32,601 --> 00:18:33,901
THAT'S TYPICAL.
517
00:18:33,901 --> 00:18:35,267
I'M DYING,
518
00:18:35,267 --> 00:18:37,734
AND WE SPEND THE DAY
WORRYING ABOUT HER.
519
00:18:37,734 --> 00:18:39,701
YOU'RE NOT DYING.
520
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:41,100
WELL, THE SECOND PART.
521
00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:43,434
WHY MUST I WALK ON
EGGSHELLS WITH HER?
522
00:18:43,434 --> 00:18:44,634
YOU DON'T.
523
00:18:44,634 --> 00:18:47,234
JUST GO TALK TO HER.
524
00:18:47,234 --> 00:18:48,934
THERE'S A SIDE OF YOU
THAT I DON'T LIKE.
525
00:18:53,367 --> 00:18:55,033
BURT.
526
00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:56,834
DON'T TELL YOUR MOTHER
WHAT TO DO.
527
00:18:56,834 --> 00:18:58,267
THANK YOU.
528
00:18:58,267 --> 00:19:01,000
JUST WALK IN THERE
AND TALK TO HER.
529
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,901
SO I'M GOING.
530
00:19:02,901 --> 00:19:06,501
[THEME FROM
THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY PLAYS]
531
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,634
I'M GOING TO GO PLAY
IN THE BEDROOM.
532
00:19:33,634 --> 00:19:34,901
SO...
533
00:19:34,901 --> 00:19:36,434
HOW ARE YOU?
534
00:19:36,434 --> 00:19:38,033
FINE. HOW ARE YOU?
535
00:19:38,033 --> 00:19:39,734
I'M FINE.
GOOD.
536
00:19:43,067 --> 00:19:45,267
WHAT DO YOU KNOW--
BLUE.
537
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:48,634
THIS ISN'T
THE COUCH WE ORDERED.
538
00:19:48,634 --> 00:19:50,033
LOOK AT THIS.
539
00:19:50,033 --> 00:19:52,100
"KENNEDY TO FLY
TO DALLAS."
540
00:19:53,601 --> 00:19:56,567
LOOK. MA'S SCARF.
COACHES AND HORSES.
541
00:19:56,567 --> 00:19:59,067
YOU SEE THAT?
MOM DIDN'T BORROW IT.
542
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:00,634
SHE SAT ON IT.
543
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:02,968
I STAND CORRECTED.
544
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:06,334
JUST TELL ME
WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO REACH YOU.
545
00:20:06,334 --> 00:20:09,067
HOW DO I GET
THROUGH TO YOU?
546
00:20:09,067 --> 00:20:10,601
DO YOU WANT ME TO BEG?
547
00:20:10,601 --> 00:20:12,300
I'M BEGGING. OKAY?
548
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:14,934
DO YOU WANT ME TO CRAWL?
I'M CRAWLING.
549
00:20:14,934 --> 00:20:17,634
SHOULD I CHANGE
THE WAY I TALK?
550
00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:20,300
O.K., I'LL CHANGE
THE WAY I TALK!
551
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:22,634
CHANGE THE WAY I DRESS?
552
00:20:22,634 --> 00:20:24,067
FINE, FINE.
553
00:20:24,067 --> 00:20:26,300
I'M JUST GOING TO
CHANGE THE WAY I DRESS.
554
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:28,701
WANT ME TO CHANGE MY HAIR?
555
00:20:28,701 --> 00:20:30,434
I'M GOING TO CHANGE
THE WAY MY HAIR LOOKS.
556
00:20:30,434 --> 00:20:31,734
I'M GONNA CUT IT RIGHT NOW.
557
00:20:31,734 --> 00:20:34,868
I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL!
558
00:20:34,868 --> 00:20:37,567
THOSE ARE NOT THE RIGHT
SCISSORS, DARLING.
559
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:45,601
WELL, I TRIED.
I REALLY TRIED.
560
00:20:45,601 --> 00:20:47,534
YOU TALKED TO HER.
561
00:20:47,534 --> 00:20:51,534
I HUMILIATED MYSELF.
IT WAS HUMILIATION.
562
00:20:51,534 --> 00:20:54,634
I HAD SUCH MODEST
GOALS FOR TODAY.
563
00:20:54,634 --> 00:20:58,200
PICK UP SOME SHIRTS,
GET SOME FOOD, FIX SOME SHOES.
564
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,167
THAT WAS
TRULY THE EXTENT OF MY EXPECTATIONS.
565
00:21:01,167 --> 00:21:02,601
OH, GOOD.
566
00:21:02,601 --> 00:21:03,934
WHAT'D SHE GIVE YOU?
567
00:21:03,934 --> 00:21:05,701
300 HARD-BOILED EGGS,
568
00:21:05,701 --> 00:21:08,501
LIKE I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO DO THAT.
569
00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:12,033
A MILLION BAGELS
SO I DON'T LET YOU WITHER AWAY.
570
00:21:12,033 --> 00:21:14,567
ENOUGH LOX
FOR THE NEXT 111 YEARS.
571
00:21:14,567 --> 00:21:16,267
PICTURE THIS--
572
00:21:16,267 --> 00:21:19,200
* LUCK BE A LADY
TONIGHT... **
573
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,901
THIS IS WHAT
THEY WERE DOING.
574
00:21:22,734 --> 00:21:24,667
HEY.
575
00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:25,801
WHAT?
576
00:21:25,801 --> 00:21:27,100
LOOK AT THIS.
577
00:21:30,567 --> 00:21:31,501
DID YOU TAKE THIS?
578
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,200
ARE YOU SURE?
579
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:35,667
YEAH.
580
00:21:35,667 --> 00:21:37,767
DO YOU SEE
WHAT SHE DOES?
581
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,767
I HAVE TO CALL HER.
582
00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:46,000
IF YOU'VE LEARNED
ONE THING TODAY, WHAT WOULD THAT BE?
583
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,601
I JUST WANT TO
SAY THANK YOU.
584
00:21:48,601 --> 00:21:50,601
DO WHAT YOU MUST.
585
00:21:50,601 --> 00:21:52,234
SYLVIA?
586
00:21:52,234 --> 00:21:53,501
IT'S JAMIE.
587
00:21:56,133 --> 00:21:57,067
BUCHMAN.
588
00:22:04,501 --> 00:22:06,133
MURRAY, I'VE BEEN THINKING.
589
00:22:06,133 --> 00:22:07,801
TODAY WAS
A VERY DIFFICULT DAY,
590
00:22:07,801 --> 00:22:10,968
BUT WHATEVER I SAID
ABOUT YOUR MOTHER,
591
00:22:10,968 --> 00:22:12,767
THERE'S NO REFLECTION
ON YOU.
592
00:22:12,767 --> 00:22:15,200
YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME
IN MY HOUSE.
593
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,200
[BARKS]
GOOD.
594
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,067
NOW, GET OFF THE COUCH.
[GROWLS]
595
00:22:19,117 --> 00:22:23,667
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