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1
00:00:06,133 --> 00:00:07,701
(PHONE RINGS)
2
00:00:10,367 --> 00:00:12,501
(CONTINUES RINGING)
3
00:00:12,567 --> 00:00:15,267
(MAN CHATTERING ON TV)
4
00:00:15,334 --> 00:00:17,534
Yeah. Hi, Ma.
5
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:18,801
What?
6
00:00:18,868 --> 00:00:20,567
Oh, gee, Ma.
Tonight?
7
00:00:20,634 --> 00:00:23,434
Uh, can't.
Can't tonight.
8
00:00:23,501 --> 00:00:25,767
No, 'cause...
Because, uh, why?
9
00:00:25,834 --> 00:00:27,734
'Cause we already ate.
10
00:00:27,801 --> 00:00:29,234
Yeah.
No, we already ate.
11
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:31,968
What did we have?
We had, uh, chicken.
12
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,701
Yeah, we had...
What kind of chicken?
13
00:00:36,767 --> 00:00:38,400
Uh, roasted.
14
00:00:38,467 --> 00:00:41,067
Roasted chicken.
Yeah, Jamie made roasted... Vegetable.
15
00:00:41,133 --> 00:00:44,300
Yes, we had, um, clap...
We had clap... We had clappers.
16
00:00:44,367 --> 00:00:47,667
Clap... Squash. Squash,
squash, squash.
17
00:00:47,734 --> 00:00:50,234
We had squash. Yeah.
Chicken and squash.
18
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,234
Dessert. We...
19
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:54,334
Sylvia, hi. What time
would you like us there?
20
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:55,634
Great. See you then.
21
00:00:55,701 --> 00:00:57,267
It's just easier.
22
00:01:09,901 --> 00:01:13,767
* Tell me whyI love you like I do
23
00:01:13,834 --> 00:01:17,901
* Tell me whocan stop my heartas much as you
24
00:01:17,968 --> 00:01:19,634
* Let's take each other's hand
25
00:01:19,701 --> 00:01:22,667
* As we jump intothe final frontier
26
00:01:23,968 --> 00:01:26,100
* I'm mad about you, baby
27
00:01:26,701 --> 00:01:28,901
* Yeah!
28
00:01:28,968 --> 00:01:31,234
* I'm mad about you
29
00:01:46,234 --> 00:01:48,400
(PHONE RINGS)
30
00:01:48,467 --> 00:01:50,367
PAUL: Hi we're out.Leave a messageand we'll call you back.
31
00:01:50,434 --> 00:01:51,434
(BEEPS)
32
00:01:51,501 --> 00:01:53,267
IRA: Hey, Paulie,you there?
33
00:01:53,334 --> 00:01:55,300
PAUL: I'm here. I'm here.
IRA Come on, come on,pick up the phone.
34
00:01:55,367 --> 00:01:57,234
I'm here. I'm right here.
Right here.
35
00:01:58,300 --> 00:01:59,701
Howdy.
36
00:01:59,767 --> 00:02:01,801
People say "howdy."
37
00:02:01,868 --> 00:02:03,534
Well, I said it.
Listen...
38
00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:04,901
I don't know,
but I said it.
39
00:02:04,968 --> 00:02:07,100
Hey, you want to hear
something terrific?
40
00:02:07,167 --> 00:02:10,667
We're not gonna be late.
8:00, 8:00, feel-good movie of the year.
41
00:02:10,734 --> 00:02:12,434
We will be there.
42
00:02:12,501 --> 00:02:15,634
Speaking of feeling good,
guess what happened to me today?
43
00:02:15,701 --> 00:02:17,868
We'll like her.
Well, come on, we're gonna like her.
44
00:02:17,934 --> 00:02:21,501
And I'm sure she'll like us.
I already like her. What's her name?
45
00:02:21,567 --> 00:02:23,167
That's her name?
46
00:02:23,234 --> 00:02:25,934
No, no, no,
I like her. I like her It's just a little unusual.
47
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,801
What is wrong
with people?
48
00:02:28,868 --> 00:02:30,467
Jamie's looking forward
to it, too.
49
00:02:30,534 --> 00:02:32,467
Yeah. We'll see--
We'll see you there. I'm walking out the door.
50
00:02:32,534 --> 00:02:34,033
I'll see you. Bye.
51
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:35,634
Guess what...
So I'm leaving school,
52
00:02:35,701 --> 00:02:36,734
and I'm heading
for the subway
53
00:02:36,801 --> 00:02:38,801
and I see this guy
on the street
54
00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:40,367
who's-- who's got one
of those tables by the curb,
55
00:02:40,434 --> 00:02:42,601
where he's selling,
you know, books and fruit, and hosiery.
56
00:02:42,667 --> 00:02:45,267
And I remember I have to
buy a birthday present for Marilyn's stepdaughter.
57
00:02:45,334 --> 00:02:47,367
What'd you buy,
a dictionary? Yeah, she's going to college.
58
00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:48,701
It's like 1,000 pounds.
59
00:02:48,767 --> 00:02:51,234
So the guy wants $40.
Finally I talk him down to $12
60
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:54,133
if he throws in
a bag of tangerines and a pair of thigh-highs.
61
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,701
How many words
could there be? So, listen, so, I give him 20,
62
00:02:56,767 --> 00:02:58,300
and before he can
give me my change,
63
00:02:58,367 --> 00:03:00,200
this cop comes by
and chases him off.
64
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:01,901
With your change?
Yes! With my change.
65
00:03:01,968 --> 00:03:04,133
So, I say to the cop,
"That guy right there, there he goes,
66
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,901
"he's got my $8.
Go get him."
67
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:07,300
He doesn't go get him.
68
00:03:07,367 --> 00:03:10,100
He lectures me
about buying stuff off the street!
69
00:03:10,167 --> 00:03:12,000
Okay.
70
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,234
But, guess who got
a big grant from the New York City Film Council.
71
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:15,701
So, then,
I'm on the subway
72
00:03:15,767 --> 00:03:17,734
with, like, this book
that weighs more than I do,
73
00:03:17,801 --> 00:03:19,767
and 24,000 pounds
of fruit,
74
00:03:19,834 --> 00:03:21,701
and we get into
one of those sections where the lights go out.
75
00:03:21,767 --> 00:03:23,334
So, the lights go out.
They come back on.
76
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:24,767
There's this woman
in an Armani suit
77
00:03:24,834 --> 00:03:27,434
eating one of
my tangerines like I'm a buffet!
78
00:03:27,501 --> 00:03:29,868
What is wrong
with these people?
79
00:03:29,934 --> 00:03:31,567
Give up? Me.
80
00:03:31,634 --> 00:03:33,200
What?
Me.
81
00:03:33,267 --> 00:03:34,667
What?
Grant.
82
00:03:34,734 --> 00:03:35,801
Grant?
Got it.
83
00:03:35,868 --> 00:03:37,400
You got the grant.
Got the grant.
84
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,701
Congratulations.
What I'm trying to say...
85
00:03:38,767 --> 00:03:40,601
Like it's
her God-given right!
86
00:03:40,667 --> 00:03:41,934
What?
The tangerines.
87
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,667
Oh, yeah.
88
00:03:43,734 --> 00:03:45,968
I'm never leaving
this apartment again.
89
00:03:46,033 --> 00:03:50,100
Er, well, except for to go
to the movie with Ira in 15 minutes. Right?
90
00:03:50,167 --> 00:03:52,300
Oh, that's not tonight.
It actually is.
91
00:03:52,367 --> 00:03:54,300
I can't.
Oh, come on, it'll be fun.
92
00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:55,567
No, no, no, no.
I'll die.
93
00:03:55,634 --> 00:03:57,200
Oh, he wants us
to meet this woman.
94
00:03:57,267 --> 00:03:59,167
I'll hate her.
Feel-good movie of the year.
95
00:03:59,234 --> 00:04:00,334
I don't feel good.
96
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,033
Well, luckily,
they have this movie.
97
00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:03,667
I can't go out
there again.
98
00:04:03,734 --> 00:04:05,834
Hey, we love this city.
They just gave me money.
99
00:04:05,901 --> 00:04:07,534
I'll give you money.
Don't make me go.
100
00:04:07,601 --> 00:04:09,100
Come on, you can't
let the city get you down.
101
00:04:09,167 --> 00:04:10,968
When you fall off New York,
what you do? Get right back on.
102
00:04:11,067 --> 00:04:12,133
No.
103
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,834
Come on, do it for me.
No.
104
00:04:13,901 --> 00:04:15,300
Do it for Ira.
No.
105
00:04:15,367 --> 00:04:17,000
Do it for Velma.
106
00:04:17,067 --> 00:04:19,567
Velma?
It's unusual.
107
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,000
Just put it on.
108
00:04:24,801 --> 00:04:26,534
I don't care
how hungry you are.
109
00:04:26,601 --> 00:04:28,667
You don't eat out of
another person's grocery bag,
110
00:04:28,734 --> 00:04:30,601
especially fruit.
I know.
111
00:04:30,667 --> 00:04:32,767
I'll bet you that
there's not anybody in a cab
112
00:04:32,834 --> 00:04:34,801
in this city
with a bigger book on their lap.
113
00:04:34,868 --> 00:04:36,634
We'll drop it off.
It'll take 10 minutes.
114
00:04:36,701 --> 00:04:38,234
I'm not complaining.
115
00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:40,901
Little movie-going,
little present drop-off, all good things.
116
00:04:40,968 --> 00:04:43,467
I got the beginning of
a headache, like right before you get a headache.
117
00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:46,100
Oh, I hate that.
It's like worse than the actual headache.
118
00:04:46,167 --> 00:04:47,534
That's what I'm saying.
119
00:04:47,601 --> 00:04:48,601
We'll get you...
We'll stop, we'll get you aspirin.
120
00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:49,968
Just ask him
to turn down the music.
121
00:04:50,033 --> 00:04:51,767
Er... Excuse me,
could you...
122
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,167
(MUSIC STOPS)
123
00:04:53,234 --> 00:04:55,767
Thank you.
Even in his culture, that's a bad song.
124
00:04:55,834 --> 00:04:57,968
Left or right?
What's that?
125
00:04:58,033 --> 00:05:00,334
You get out left side
or right side?
126
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,767
Oh, it's not
for 20 blocks.
127
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:04,901
Well, tell me!
Right side, right side. Right side.
128
00:05:04,968 --> 00:05:07,133
All right,
so what do we know about Velma?
129
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:08,868
Uh, not too much.
130
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,868
Well, where's she from?
I don't know.
131
00:05:10,934 --> 00:05:13,133
How did they meet?
He didn't say.
132
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,667
Well, what did he say?
Phenomenal sex.
133
00:05:15,734 --> 00:05:18,367
That's all?
And she was a member of the original Go-Go's.
134
00:05:18,434 --> 00:05:20,767
Get out of here.
Yeah, that's what he said.
135
00:05:20,834 --> 00:05:23,601
Wow. Good for Ira.
Yeah.
136
00:05:23,667 --> 00:05:24,968
I think
this is it for him.
137
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,367
All right, let's not
put that pressure on him.
138
00:05:26,434 --> 00:05:27,667
No, I was actually
putting it on us.
139
00:05:27,734 --> 00:05:29,267
Let's not do that
either.
140
00:05:29,334 --> 00:05:31,601
He--He really likes her,
and--and, uh, he needs us.
141
00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:34,033
You know, we gotta...
You and I have to close the deal.
142
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,300
I hate that. We're like
relationship whores.
143
00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:37,501
Yes, we are.
144
00:05:37,567 --> 00:05:39,200
Actually, we're
relationship pimps,
145
00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:41,567
which is better
'cause we get hats.
146
00:05:41,634 --> 00:05:44,167
Which Go-Go was she?
Huh? Shemp.
147
00:05:44,234 --> 00:05:46,133
There's a store.
Could you-- Could you pull over?
148
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,534
Left side,
right side?
149
00:05:47,601 --> 00:05:49,167
Just right--right here.
Tell me!
150
00:05:49,234 --> 00:05:52,434
Right side, right side,
right side.
151
00:05:52,501 --> 00:05:54,801
All right,
I'll be right back. Do me a favor.
152
00:05:54,868 --> 00:05:58,167
Pedagogue, look it up,
see if I'm using it correctly.
153
00:05:58,234 --> 00:05:59,601
Get wrapping paper.
All right.
154
00:05:59,667 --> 00:06:01,033
And ribbon.
Yes.
155
00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:02,667
And get some
scotch tape. And a Sprite.
156
00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:13,133
49th and Broadway.
157
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,467
Hello.
I saw it first.
158
00:06:15,534 --> 00:06:17,467
I'm in here.
The guy just got out!
159
00:06:17,534 --> 00:06:18,834
(SIRENS APPROACHING)
He's coming back!
160
00:06:18,901 --> 00:06:21,234
Your boyfriend
fast? What?
161
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:23,734
Your boyfriend run fast?
I cannot sit here long. The police...
162
00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:26,033
All right, first of all,
he is my not my boyfriend, he's my husband.
163
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:27,534
He'll be back
in two minutes. No, two minute...
164
00:06:27,601 --> 00:06:31,200
Fast! Fast! Fast! Yes,
my boyfriend is fast.
165
00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:34,334
Are you still here?
Hey! I got tickets for Cats.
166
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,367
It's been running 12 years.
You can't wait for another cab?
167
00:06:37,434 --> 00:06:38,534
(DOOR OPENS)
168
00:06:38,601 --> 00:06:40,634
Look what they had,
cowboy paper.
169
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,934
Hello.
You know how long I've been waiting for a cab?
170
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,501
Don't talk to him.
Is there a problem here?
171
00:06:44,567 --> 00:06:46,667
He's going to see Cats.
You haven't seen that yet?
172
00:06:46,734 --> 00:06:48,901
Don't talk to him.
You can't save cabs!
173
00:06:48,968 --> 00:06:51,534
Why not?
Okay, okay, honey. Here's what we're gonna do.
174
00:06:51,601 --> 00:06:53,267
Sir, I'm gonna step
out of the cab,
175
00:06:53,334 --> 00:06:54,801
and then you're gonna
step out of the cab,
176
00:06:54,868 --> 00:06:56,834
and then I will get
back in the cab,
177
00:06:56,901 --> 00:06:58,934
and you will
go off and see an outstanding musical.
178
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,767
Which everybody else
saw in 1982.
179
00:07:00,834 --> 00:07:02,834
All righty.
Okay, sir?
180
00:07:02,901 --> 00:07:04,901
That's what's gonna happen.
Here we go.
181
00:07:04,968 --> 00:07:06,601
(POLICE SIRENS)
182
00:07:06,667 --> 00:07:08,534
(MUTTERING)
183
00:07:08,601 --> 00:07:10,367
What was that?
You know what you are?
184
00:07:10,434 --> 00:07:14,400
You're the reason
people move to Jersey.
185
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:17,934
Know what? I'm gonna
give you a muffin.
186
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,200
I bought a muffin
for my wife
187
00:07:19,267 --> 00:07:20,300
and I bought
another one for myself.
188
00:07:20,367 --> 00:07:22,634
I'm giving
my muffin to you,
189
00:07:22,701 --> 00:07:24,234
in the hopes that
you will enjoy it
190
00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:27,767
and that someday
maybe you'll give a muffin to somebody else.
191
00:07:30,801 --> 00:07:33,367
Did you see that?
We go?
192
00:07:33,434 --> 00:07:34,701
Yes, yes, yes,
we go.
193
00:07:34,767 --> 00:07:37,067
Did you see what he did?
Unbelievable.
194
00:07:37,133 --> 00:07:39,133
What does that mean?
I don't know.
195
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,000
I give you my nose?
196
00:07:41,067 --> 00:07:42,701
You are my nose?
197
00:07:42,767 --> 00:07:45,367
I don't think
I would have given him a muffin.
198
00:07:45,434 --> 00:07:47,801
Well, it seemed like
a Gandhi-esque thing to do.
199
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,801
You get my Sprite?
Huh?
200
00:07:49,868 --> 00:07:51,667
Well, tell me!
All right, hold on.
201
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,167
Well, I don't see him.
202
00:07:58,234 --> 00:08:00,000
All right, I'll get in line.
You buy the tickets.
203
00:08:00,067 --> 00:08:02,400
All right.
Oh, what if Ira already got the tickets?
204
00:08:02,467 --> 00:08:04,067
What if he didn't?
Yeah, what if he did?
205
00:08:04,133 --> 00:08:05,734
What if he didn't?
What if he did?
206
00:08:05,801 --> 00:08:07,801
Buy the tickets!
I'll buy the tickets! All right.
207
00:08:07,868 --> 00:08:10,400
Here, here, here, here, here.
No, no. It's your present.
208
00:08:10,467 --> 00:08:11,567
I'm a girl.
209
00:08:11,634 --> 00:08:13,234
(EXCLAIMS)
210
00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:16,968
By the way, pedagogue:
a servant who escorts children to school.
211
00:08:17,033 --> 00:08:18,534
Ooh, that's
what it means? Mmm-hmm.
212
00:08:18,601 --> 00:08:20,767
Remind me,
I gotta send a note.
213
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,067
All righty.
214
00:08:23,133 --> 00:08:26,300
Hi. Four please,
for, uh, Feeling Good.That's the 8:00 show?
215
00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:28,634
Feeling Good.
Wanna be feeling good by the end of this movie.
216
00:08:28,701 --> 00:08:31,100
And if we're not,
I expect all our money back. No problem there.
217
00:08:31,167 --> 00:08:32,400
All right.
218
00:08:32,467 --> 00:08:33,868
Thank you.
Enjoy the show.
219
00:08:33,934 --> 00:08:35,400
I'm feeling' better
already.
220
00:08:36,567 --> 00:08:37,834
IRA: Hey, Paulie.
Hey.
221
00:08:37,901 --> 00:08:39,167
What are you reading?
222
00:08:39,234 --> 00:08:40,901
Long story.
Where's Velma?
223
00:08:40,968 --> 00:08:43,200
Uh, she's-- she's
making a call. Where's James?
224
00:08:43,267 --> 00:08:44,834
She's on line. Come on.
I got tickets.
225
00:08:44,901 --> 00:08:46,767
What're you talking about?
Tickets are on me.
226
00:08:46,834 --> 00:08:48,267
Paulie, I got
the tickets.
227
00:08:48,334 --> 00:08:50,300
Well, why did you get tickets?
Why did you get tickets?
228
00:08:50,367 --> 00:08:51,968
'Cause I wanted to have
this very conversation.
229
00:08:52,033 --> 00:08:54,834
Paulie.
All right. Well, I just need to explain to the guy.
230
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:57,267
Excuse me.
Hey, pal. There's a line.
231
00:08:57,334 --> 00:08:59,634
No, I was just here.
Well, now you're not.
232
00:08:59,701 --> 00:09:01,400
Hey, what's your problem?
Hey, no. Hey.
233
00:09:01,467 --> 00:09:05,267
It's all right. I'll, uh...
We'll sell them.
234
00:09:05,334 --> 00:09:07,501
Hey, do you-- do you want
to buy these tickets?
235
00:09:07,567 --> 00:09:09,400
Yeah. Right.
236
00:09:09,467 --> 00:09:11,234
No, no,
these are perfectly good. I just bought them.
237
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,200
What am I,
from Winnipeg?
238
00:09:13,267 --> 00:09:15,501
(EXCLAIMS)
I'm not...
239
00:09:15,567 --> 00:09:17,234
All right.
240
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:19,267
Tickets...
You guys need tickets? Wanna buy tickets?
241
00:09:19,334 --> 00:09:21,367
Tickets? Tickets?
242
00:09:21,434 --> 00:09:22,968
Perfectly good tickets.
243
00:09:23,033 --> 00:09:25,000
Absolutely nothing wrong
with the tickets.
244
00:09:25,067 --> 00:09:26,734
Four tickets for yourself?
245
00:09:26,801 --> 00:09:28,868
Tickets.
This is unbelievable.
246
00:09:28,934 --> 00:09:32,067
Hey, you piss people off.
Let me ask you.
247
00:09:32,133 --> 00:09:33,901
Anybody ever do this
to you?
248
00:09:33,968 --> 00:09:36,400
Somebody did this to you?
A guy, today. Right in my face, like...
249
00:09:36,467 --> 00:09:38,534
(EXCLAIMS)
Yeah, that's bad, right? It's like the finger?
250
00:09:38,601 --> 00:09:41,067
That's worse than the finger.
Right in my face. Just boo.
251
00:09:41,133 --> 00:09:43,501
Hey, buddy, you got
a real problem.
252
00:09:44,267 --> 00:09:46,100
No, I wasn't... Oh!
253
00:09:46,167 --> 00:09:47,501
What're you starting
with people?
254
00:09:47,567 --> 00:09:49,133
I was...
I wasn't starting, I was telling a story.
255
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,534
Well, look, try and make
a good impression tonight, will ya?
256
00:09:51,601 --> 00:09:53,300
When do we not make
a good impression?
257
00:09:53,367 --> 00:09:55,234
Yeah, you're right.
I'm sorry. I'm a little nervous.
258
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:57,901
Hey, listen,
we're gonna love her. She's gonna love us.
259
00:09:57,968 --> 00:09:59,601
So, Velma. What's that?
A German Wilma?
260
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,033
Hey, not now.
261
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,501
Oh. Ma'am, excuse me.
Are you going to buy tickets?
262
00:10:03,567 --> 00:10:05,400
How do you know
my name?
263
00:10:05,467 --> 00:10:07,267
Your name is ma'am?
264
00:10:07,334 --> 00:10:08,934
What do you want?
265
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,767
Nothing. Nothing.
We just bought some extra tickets by accident.
266
00:10:10,834 --> 00:10:12,968
We thought maybe you
could buy a couple of them.
267
00:10:13,033 --> 00:10:15,501
Let me see.
Are these real?
268
00:10:15,567 --> 00:10:17,968
No, no, we spent months
working on them in our garage.
269
00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:19,167
I'll give you $4.
270
00:10:19,234 --> 00:10:21,033
That's $30 worth
of tickets!
271
00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:23,834
I am a senior
citizen!
272
00:10:23,901 --> 00:10:26,000
Okay, okay. You know what,
you're absolutely right.
273
00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:27,234
Why don't you
take the tickets.
274
00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:28,734
What do you mean?
Yeah, what'd you mean?
275
00:10:28,801 --> 00:10:30,400
I mean take them.
They're yours for free,
276
00:10:30,467 --> 00:10:32,200
because I had a good day
and I'm a nice guy.
277
00:10:32,267 --> 00:10:34,067
What are you
trying to pull? No. I want you to take...
278
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,634
No. I don't want them.
Please. It's a gesture.
279
00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:37,133
I don't want them!
Ow!
280
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:38,968
Get away from me.
What is in that bag?
281
00:10:39,033 --> 00:10:41,534
Ira?
Hey, Velma, this is my cousin, Paulie.
282
00:10:41,601 --> 00:10:44,334
Hi, how you doing?
He doesn't usually fight with the elderly.
283
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,067
Ow! Ow!
284
00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:49,000
You really used to
be a Go-Go?
285
00:10:49,067 --> 00:10:50,901
Uh-huh.
Which one were you?
286
00:10:50,968 --> 00:10:53,801
In the Vacation video,
I was the one skiing slalom.
287
00:10:53,868 --> 00:10:55,434
How about these?
Perfect.
288
00:10:55,501 --> 00:10:57,000
No, but, wait,
you weren't really skiing.
289
00:10:57,067 --> 00:10:58,467
I mean, they shoot that
in a studio, right?
290
00:10:58,534 --> 00:11:00,601
Oh, no.
We were skiing.
291
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:02,968
Huh.
292
00:11:03,033 --> 00:11:04,601
Hey, get me. I'm 11.
293
00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:06,434
Here.
Give me your coat.
294
00:11:06,501 --> 00:11:07,667
Oh, you don't
wanna do that.
295
00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:09,000
I'm just trying
to discourage people.
296
00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:11,300
That's so rude.
Well, the whole city's rude.
297
00:11:11,367 --> 00:11:13,601
Yeah, it's part of
the city's charm, though.
298
00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:15,267
So, you still in
the music business?
299
00:11:15,334 --> 00:11:17,501
Uh, in a way. I manage
a couple of bands.
300
00:11:17,567 --> 00:11:19,067
Really?
Anybody famous?
301
00:11:19,133 --> 00:11:21,434
Well, I'm really proud
of Aerosmith.
302
00:11:21,501 --> 00:11:23,934
Whoa. You manage
Aerosmith?
303
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,701
How did you get
into that?
304
00:11:25,767 --> 00:11:27,267
Originally, I went
to film school.
305
00:11:27,334 --> 00:11:28,534
Paul went to film school.
306
00:11:28,601 --> 00:11:30,234
Oh. I went to NYU.
Yeah.
307
00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:32,601
I went to NYU.
Oh, that's funny.
308
00:11:32,667 --> 00:11:34,667
Did you take
"Sight and Sound" with Schultz?
309
00:11:34,734 --> 00:11:36,367
I think I did.
310
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,901
No, wait. Schultz wasn't
"Sight and Sound." He taught "Documentary."
311
00:11:38,968 --> 00:11:40,968
Right. Right.
Right, Schultz. No, wait.
312
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:42,334
Schultz is our pharmacist.
313
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:43,868
Schlatz.
Professor Schlatz.
314
00:11:43,934 --> 00:11:45,801
Schlatz! Right.
315
00:11:52,601 --> 00:11:54,467
I can't see.
Want to switch with me?
316
00:11:54,534 --> 00:11:55,934
No, give me
the dictionary.
317
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,300
I'll tell you right now,
the word is "obstructed".
318
00:12:02,234 --> 00:12:04,601
Excuse me.
You're sitting on a book.
319
00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:05,701
I know.
320
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:07,367
Well, I can't see.
321
00:12:07,434 --> 00:12:08,868
Well, what if
I were this tall?
322
00:12:08,934 --> 00:12:11,300
But you aren't.
Pretend I am.
323
00:12:12,234 --> 00:12:13,701
(CLEARS THROAT)
324
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:17,033
(KICKING SEAT BACK)
325
00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:19,667
A-A-All right, all right.
Would you stop kicking my chair, please?
326
00:12:19,734 --> 00:12:21,968
Pretend I'm not.
327
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:24,000
All right. Wait a second.
I got an idea. Get up a second.
328
00:12:24,067 --> 00:12:25,801
All right,
we'll compromise, okay?
329
00:12:25,868 --> 00:12:28,567
Honey, just sit on it
"A" through "L".
330
00:12:29,667 --> 00:12:31,033
There we go.
331
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:36,501
ANNOUNCER:From the best-selling authorof A Penny For Your Life...
332
00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:38,701
MAN: Oh, good.
Coming attractions. WOMAN: Great.
333
00:12:38,767 --> 00:12:39,868
I love coming attractions.
334
00:12:39,934 --> 00:12:41,667
Yeah, me too.
WOMAN: They're talking.
335
00:12:41,734 --> 00:12:43,834
It's just
coming attractions. This is how it starts.
336
00:12:43,901 --> 00:12:46,300
MAN: Hey, I read this book.
It'll never make it as a movie.
337
00:12:46,367 --> 00:12:47,467
(SHUSHING)
338
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,133
Alan Alda's the killer.
339
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,767
No!
WOMAN: I like him.
340
00:12:50,834 --> 00:12:53,467
(SHUSHING)
Alan Alda. What in the world were they thinking?
341
00:12:53,534 --> 00:12:56,300
All right. All right.
You shushed 'em. Let 'em adjust.
342
00:12:56,367 --> 00:12:58,334
Hey! Will you two
shut up down there?
343
00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,934
Shh!
344
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,334
Don't shush me,
blondie.
345
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,701
Hey, hey, pal.
346
00:13:02,767 --> 00:13:04,367
Hey, I'm trying
to watch the movie here.
347
00:13:04,434 --> 00:13:05,801
Yeah, well, so are we.
348
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,534
So shut up.
349
00:13:07,601 --> 00:13:09,534
What is your problem?
What is your problem?
350
00:13:09,601 --> 00:13:10,734
You are my problem.
351
00:13:10,801 --> 00:13:12,801
Yeah?
Yeah.
352
00:13:12,868 --> 00:13:14,267
Well, come on up here
and say that.
353
00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:16,033
WOMAN: What a jerk.
Do you believe this?
354
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:17,567
Just forget it.
355
00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:21,901
ANNOUNCER:Coming this Spring...
356
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:25,367
Forget it? The guy just
bounced a Milk Dud off my medulla.
357
00:13:25,434 --> 00:13:27,200
He's a crazy person.
358
00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:29,534
MAN: Yeah,
check with the wife, chicken.
359
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,300
(CLUCKING)
360
00:13:33,567 --> 00:13:35,067
You know what?
You got a big mouth.
361
00:13:35,133 --> 00:13:36,868
So, you wanna step...
Oh.
362
00:13:36,934 --> 00:13:38,567
Oh, what? Huh?
363
00:13:40,067 --> 00:13:42,367
Oh, you know...
Just...
364
00:13:42,434 --> 00:13:44,567
Well, let's just
calm down, okay?
365
00:13:44,634 --> 00:13:47,634
We'll calm down
so everybody'll enjoy the movie. All right?
366
00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:49,467
(CLUCKING)
367
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,267
See, I don't want
to fight you. Why not?
368
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,267
'Cause, you know,
'cause it's just... It's a feel-good movie.
369
00:13:57,334 --> 00:13:59,434
So, what do you say
we all try to feel good?
370
00:13:59,501 --> 00:14:00,834
You don't think I can
take care of myself.
371
00:14:00,901 --> 00:14:02,801
Hey, no.
It's not that at all. Come on.
372
00:14:02,868 --> 00:14:04,534
It's not that at all.
It's just... It's just what?
373
00:14:04,601 --> 00:14:06,300
Nothing. It's just...
You know, I... We don't want...
374
00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:07,467
You think
you're better than me?
375
00:14:07,534 --> 00:14:08,968
No, no. Hey, not at all.
It's just that...
376
00:14:11,367 --> 00:14:12,901
All right.
Come on, let's go.
377
00:14:12,968 --> 00:14:15,234
Don't. Hey, wait, wait,
wait one minute. You're gonna fight?
378
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:17,667
I don't want to
insult the guy. So you're gonna hit him?
379
00:14:17,734 --> 00:14:19,300
It seems
the right thing to do.
380
00:14:19,367 --> 00:14:20,734
Just talk to him.
381
00:14:24,434 --> 00:14:25,868
Ow!
382
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,400
What'd you
do that for?
383
00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:32,267
'Cause we're having
a fight, genius.
384
00:14:32,334 --> 00:14:35,300
He very rarely
fights with people in wheelchairs.
385
00:14:43,901 --> 00:14:45,133
Ow! Ow!
386
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:46,934
What is wrong
with people?
387
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,634
It stopped bleeding.
Yeah? Now it's clicking.
388
00:14:49,701 --> 00:14:51,133
Oh, God.
389
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,601
I'm sorry I made you
miss the movie.
390
00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:54,467
I don't care.
Does it hurt?
391
00:14:54,534 --> 00:14:55,934
You ever been punched
in the nose? No.
392
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,501
It hurts.
393
00:14:57,567 --> 00:14:58,667
Oh, there it is.
You hear that?
394
00:14:58,734 --> 00:15:00,834
What?
Little click.
395
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:02,400
Okay, do it again.
396
00:15:02,467 --> 00:15:06,100
It's not a party trick.
It just happens. But it hurts.
397
00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:07,801
What were you thinking?
398
00:15:07,868 --> 00:15:08,901
I was protecting you.
399
00:15:08,968 --> 00:15:10,667
You could've really
gotten hurt.
400
00:15:10,734 --> 00:15:12,367
So--So, good,
explain me the rules.
401
00:15:12,434 --> 00:15:15,501
When do I offer pastry,
and when do I get to smack a guy?
402
00:15:15,567 --> 00:15:17,934
It's never clear.
403
00:15:18,033 --> 00:15:20,467
So Velma seems nice,
right?
404
00:15:20,534 --> 00:15:22,267
Yeah.
405
00:15:22,334 --> 00:15:24,734
By the way, I love
that she studied film with our pharmacist.
406
00:15:24,801 --> 00:15:26,767
What're you saying?
Do you think she didn't go to NYU?
407
00:15:26,834 --> 00:15:28,467
Oh, she absolutely
did not go to NYU,
408
00:15:28,534 --> 00:15:31,734
and I guarantee you there's
no way were the Go-Go's were really water-skiing.
409
00:15:31,801 --> 00:15:34,601
I thought so, too.
What was that? Forget about...
410
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:37,000
Ira's-- Ira's little friend
likes to fib.
411
00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:38,234
So what are we gonna do?
412
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,501
We don't do anything.
413
00:15:39,567 --> 00:15:41,067
He's your cousin.
414
00:15:41,133 --> 00:15:43,200
Yeah. So, we go,
we meet up with him, we have a nice dinner.
415
00:15:43,267 --> 00:15:45,868
Yeah, and she can tell us
she invented meat.
416
00:15:45,934 --> 00:15:48,634
It's right up there.
On the left, on the left. On the left.
417
00:15:48,701 --> 00:15:50,167
They like that.
418
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,667
...so I turned to Liza,
and I said,
419
00:15:57,734 --> 00:16:01,100
"You know what?
I didn't get along with my mother either."
420
00:16:02,133 --> 00:16:03,968
Liza...
With a "Z".
421
00:16:05,133 --> 00:16:06,601
So, you're
a filmmaker.
422
00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:08,000
Yeah, he just got
a big grant from the city.
423
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:10,000
Really?
Yeah.
424
00:16:10,067 --> 00:16:11,934
You know,
when I was a child, I was on To Tell the Truth.
425
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,200
You're kidding.
Mmm-hmm.
426
00:16:13,267 --> 00:16:15,968
I was one of the imposters
for Caroline Kennedy.
427
00:16:16,033 --> 00:16:18,767
Caroline Kennedy?
With a "C." Uh-huh.
428
00:16:18,834 --> 00:16:22,734
She is very nice.
We all went to Hyannis Port afterwards
429
00:16:22,801 --> 00:16:26,167
reenacted the scene for Joe,
who wasn't able to leave the house at the time.
430
00:16:26,234 --> 00:16:27,834
Oh, they had
a deli platter.
431
00:16:27,901 --> 00:16:30,667
The Kennedys?
The Kennedy's had a deli platter.
432
00:16:30,734 --> 00:16:32,601
Yeah. So?
433
00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:35,567
I'm just trying to get
a mental image of the whole thing here.
434
00:16:35,634 --> 00:16:37,267
I was up in the attic,
playing with John-John...
435
00:16:37,334 --> 00:16:39,267
Yeah, I bet you were.
Okay, you know what?
436
00:16:40,601 --> 00:16:42,100
It's really...
It's a great story
437
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:43,968
with the Kennedys
and the whole deli situation.
438
00:16:44,033 --> 00:16:46,267
My nose is killing me.
You know what, it really is.
439
00:16:46,334 --> 00:16:49,434
I'm gonna get him home,
give him some aspirin and put him and his nose to bed.
440
00:16:49,501 --> 00:16:51,367
What, you're not gonna
stay for coffee? No, we should get home.
441
00:16:51,434 --> 00:16:52,834
Oh, it's so early.
442
00:16:52,901 --> 00:16:54,667
I know. We've had
a rough day.
443
00:16:54,734 --> 00:16:57,367
Oh, you know,
one time I got so high from fasting,
444
00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:59,167
I stayed awake
for 11 days.
445
00:16:59,234 --> 00:17:01,033
Well, Velma,
it's been a pleasure meeting you.
446
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:03,200
Oh, it was
so nice meeting you. Nice to meet you.
447
00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:05,100
Good luck
with the marathon. Oh, thanks.
448
00:17:05,167 --> 00:17:07,000
I'll be happy
if I can just finish in the top 10 again.
449
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,567
Me, too.
Yeah, really pounding now.
450
00:17:08,634 --> 00:17:09,834
We're going.
We're going.
451
00:17:09,901 --> 00:17:11,734
Ira, I will call you.
Okay.
452
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,601
First of all,
Caroline Kennedy would never be on To Tell the Truth
453
00:17:18,667 --> 00:17:20,467
because Kitty Carlisle
would spot her.
454
00:17:20,534 --> 00:17:22,367
In a second.
That was Kitty's job.
455
00:17:22,434 --> 00:17:24,234
How's your nose?
Huh? It's fine.
456
00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:26,634
You sure you're up
for the movie? Oh, absolutely.
457
00:17:26,701 --> 00:17:27,968
I had to
get out of there.
458
00:17:28,033 --> 00:17:29,734
Me, too.
Henry Kissinger.
459
00:17:29,801 --> 00:17:31,767
Oh, boy, I do not
see them together.
460
00:17:31,834 --> 00:17:34,167
It's the next block.
Number 212.
461
00:17:34,234 --> 00:17:36,434
You know how happy
I'm gonna be to get rid of this dictionary?
462
00:17:36,501 --> 00:17:38,868
So happy, the word is not
even in here.
463
00:17:38,934 --> 00:17:40,567
It's the blue building.
464
00:17:40,634 --> 00:17:42,667
Left side, left side.
Left side. Left side. There you go.
465
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,300
JAMIE: Look at that.
It's perfect.
466
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:48,834
(EXCLAIMS)
What?
467
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,434
I just stepped in something.
Well, wipe it off.
468
00:17:51,501 --> 00:17:53,534
Well, wait a second,
what is this? Just wipe it off.
469
00:17:53,601 --> 00:17:55,901
It's veal.
No, it's not.
470
00:17:55,968 --> 00:17:57,367
Somebody threw out
an entire dinner.
471
00:17:57,434 --> 00:17:58,801
What's wrong with people?
472
00:17:58,868 --> 00:18:00,501
What are they,
10-J?
473
00:18:00,567 --> 00:18:02,734
I stepped in veal.
474
00:18:02,801 --> 00:18:04,334
Honey, it happens.
It doesn't happen.
475
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:08,133
It happens.
Name me one person in history who steps in veal.
476
00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:12,367
MAN: Yes?
Hi. We're here to see the Kurdys.
477
00:18:12,434 --> 00:18:13,567
They're not in.
478
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,934
Are you sure?
Yes.
479
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,434
Do you know
when they'll be back?
480
00:18:17,501 --> 00:18:18,667
No.
481
00:18:18,734 --> 00:18:21,200
What do we do?
Just leave it for them.
482
00:18:22,968 --> 00:18:25,334
Yes?
Hi. We'd like to leave something for them.
483
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,000
Who?
The Kurdys.
484
00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:29,567
They're not in.
We know that.
485
00:18:29,634 --> 00:18:31,601
We'd just like to
leave something for them.
486
00:18:31,667 --> 00:18:33,133
Are you on the list?
What list?
487
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,000
We don't know anything
about a list.
488
00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:37,701
Can't let you inunless you're on the list.
489
00:18:37,767 --> 00:18:40,534
Excuse me, could you
be less helpful? Okay, okay, okay.
490
00:18:40,601 --> 00:18:42,167
Apparently so.
491
00:18:43,701 --> 00:18:45,067
Yes?
Hi. Yeah, it's us again.
492
00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:46,300
Listen, we came
all the way up here
493
00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:47,601
just to
leave something off for the Kurdys...
494
00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:49,334
They're not in.
495
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,701
We understand
they're not in.
496
00:18:50,767 --> 00:18:53,167
See, nobody told us
anything about a list.
497
00:18:53,234 --> 00:18:55,400
I can't accept gifts,packages or parcels
498
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,534
if you're noton the list.Have to be on the list.
499
00:18:57,601 --> 00:18:58,968
All right,
stop saying list.
500
00:18:59,033 --> 00:19:01,133
It's a dictionary.
501
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,934
How do I know that?
502
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:07,067
Hey, we've been lugging this,
the entire English language, all over town.
503
00:19:07,133 --> 00:19:08,968
We just want to
leave it here for them.
504
00:19:09,033 --> 00:19:10,234
Not if you're noton the list.
505
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:12,067
Did he say list?
Did you say list?
506
00:19:12,133 --> 00:19:13,868
Got to beon the list.
507
00:19:13,934 --> 00:19:15,601
Excuse me, sir,
can you see this?
508
00:19:15,667 --> 00:19:17,067
Yes, I can.
509
00:19:17,133 --> 00:19:18,968
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
510
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:28,267
Okay, we're putting a lot of
pressure on this movie to make us feel good.
511
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,400
It's closed.
How could this happen?
512
00:19:30,467 --> 00:19:33,234
Oh, that's perfect.
$8,000 worth of tickets and we don't get to see the movie.
513
00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:35,267
You said there was
a midnight show.
514
00:19:35,334 --> 00:19:36,701
Well, what do I know?
515
00:19:36,767 --> 00:19:38,734
I carry a dictionary
and step in veal.
516
00:19:38,801 --> 00:19:41,000
IRA: Hey, Paulie.
Hey, hey!
517
00:19:41,067 --> 00:19:42,934
Hey.
Hey, hey. Hey, there you are.
518
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,133
There you are.
We were looking all over for you.
519
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,033
We thought
we'd take a shot at the late show.
520
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:48,901
I thought you guys
were going home.
521
00:19:48,968 --> 00:19:50,901
We were,
but then Paul's nose was feeling a lot better
522
00:19:50,968 --> 00:19:53,234
so, we went to Riff's
to look for you guys and we couldn't find you.
523
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:54,968
So then we thought
maybe you went to the movies again.
524
00:19:55,033 --> 00:19:56,634
So here we are.
You were right. Absolutely right.
525
00:19:56,701 --> 00:19:58,801
We were gonna
see a late show and now they're closed,
526
00:19:58,868 --> 00:20:00,000
so we're gonna go home.
527
00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:02,667
We were at Riff's
this whole time.
528
00:20:02,734 --> 00:20:04,934
Well, we didn't
see you.
529
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,434
How didn't you see us?
How'd you miss us?
530
00:20:06,501 --> 00:20:09,100
We must've looked
on the wrong side.
531
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:11,334
You guys ditched us,
didn't you?
532
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,100
No, come on.
What are you talking about?
533
00:20:13,167 --> 00:20:15,033
We didn't ditch you.
Why would we ditch you?
534
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:16,167
Uh-huh.
535
00:20:16,234 --> 00:20:18,234
No, we--we--we--
we wouldn't do that.
536
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,334
I just hate
being lied to.
537
00:20:21,367 --> 00:20:23,067
The wrong side?
538
00:20:23,133 --> 00:20:25,434
Come on, Ira.
Let's go.
539
00:20:25,501 --> 00:20:26,701
You hurt me, Paulie.
540
00:20:28,234 --> 00:20:30,133
IRA: They very rarely
lie to people.
541
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:35,868
Know what we can do,
be a nice capper to the evening?
542
00:20:35,934 --> 00:20:39,167
Why don't we go home,
take this thing and just throttle it.
543
00:20:39,234 --> 00:20:41,501
Howdy.
Howdy to you.
544
00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:44,133
Nice night.
Well, maybe for you. Not so much for us, sir.
545
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,400
All right.
Take it easy, honey. We're all out of muffins.
546
00:20:46,467 --> 00:20:47,934
Good night.
547
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,267
Did you enjoy
the movie? Uh, sadly, no.
548
00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:51,667
We didn't-- We didn't
get to see it.
549
00:20:51,734 --> 00:20:53,868
Oh, that's too bad.
It's a wonderful film.
550
00:20:53,934 --> 00:20:55,968
Well, we'll just have to
take your word for it, sir.
551
00:20:56,033 --> 00:20:59,534
Or, if you like,
you could come inside and I'll run it for you now.
552
00:20:59,601 --> 00:21:01,501
What?
I'm the projectionist.
553
00:21:01,567 --> 00:21:02,934
What, are you kidding?
No.
554
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,801
You look like
you could use a feel-good movie.
555
00:21:05,868 --> 00:21:08,701
Oh, oh, we could.
We really, really could.
556
00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:11,467
I... This is
so nice of you.
557
00:21:11,534 --> 00:21:13,000
Not at all.
Not at all.
558
00:21:13,067 --> 00:21:16,200
I'll just stay
in the back and finish my crossword puzzle.
559
00:21:16,267 --> 00:21:19,801
Well, can I just say
that you're the nicest human being on the planet?
560
00:21:19,868 --> 00:21:21,467
Oh, thanks.
561
00:21:21,534 --> 00:21:23,934
Oh, what's
a seven-letter word for rumpus?
562
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,868
Oh. You know what?
We thought you were gonna ask that.
563
00:21:26,934 --> 00:21:29,901
Here. Little gift.
Has everything you need.
564
00:21:40,801 --> 00:21:43,467
Hello, I'm Rudy Giuliani,
Mayor of New York City.
565
00:21:43,534 --> 00:21:45,767
In spite of the Buchmans'
experience tonight,
566
00:21:45,834 --> 00:21:47,767
New York is a great city,
567
00:21:47,834 --> 00:21:50,067
one of which
we can all be very proud.
568
00:21:50,133 --> 00:21:54,000
As you just saw, some of our
hardest-working residents drive taxicabs.
569
00:21:54,067 --> 00:21:56,534
Almost all of them are fair,
courteous and honest.
570
00:21:56,601 --> 00:21:59,033
But like any cabdriver
in any city,
571
00:21:59,100 --> 00:22:01,868
they merely wish to be told
on which side of the street,
572
00:22:01,934 --> 00:22:03,601
the left side
or the right side
573
00:22:03,667 --> 00:22:05,567
their passengers
want to get out.
574
00:22:05,634 --> 00:22:08,968
I'm sure that you'll agree
that's a very reasonable request.
575
00:22:09,033 --> 00:22:11,534
Quality of life
is very important to us in New York
576
00:22:11,601 --> 00:22:14,467
and that's why
we keep our streets as clean as possible.
577
00:22:14,534 --> 00:22:17,100
Occasionally,
we may miss a spot, here and there,
578
00:22:17,167 --> 00:22:21,367
but I assure you, incidents
of people stepping in veal are very rare.
579
00:22:21,434 --> 00:22:23,267
Almost unheard of.
580
00:22:23,334 --> 00:22:27,000
New York is a great city
and we're constantly striving to make it even better.
581
00:22:27,067 --> 00:22:28,400
I just thought
you should know that.
582
00:22:28,467 --> 00:22:29,601
Thank you very much.
583
00:22:29,651 --> 00:22:34,201
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