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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,320 Why is it that... 2 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:11,160 we find it hardest to stand up to the person we love the most? 3 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,840 Is it because we're scared of hurting them? 4 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:16,000 Or hurting ourselves? 5 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:22,360 I wandered lonely as a cloud... 6 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:24,320 that floats so high... Ready? 7 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:26,600 Siddhi... 8 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:28,080 what is this? 9 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:29,720 Julie Didi's birthday gift. 10 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:30,640 Take it off now! 11 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:32,440 You look like a three-tiered birthday cake! 12 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:33,440 No! 13 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:34,960 What do you mean no? 14 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:37,840 Julie! I mean... What is going on here? 15 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:38,936 This is what is going on Viju! 16 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:40,560 She looks like a strawberry meringue! 17 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,320 You know I need this evening to be perfect. 18 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,200 I have to prove to these people that we're a perfect family. 19 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,040 And now this... What are you saying Sneha. 20 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:48,760 Aren't we already perfect? 21 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:50,440 Oh please! 22 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,280 Julie, ten minutes. 23 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:56,360 Change her. 24 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,280 Our guests will be here any minute. 25 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,160 This is important for your mother. 26 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,000 So let's do this for her. 27 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,760 Quickly change your dress and come sweetheart. 28 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,880 I wandered lonely as a cloud... 29 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,560 that floats all high... 30 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,520 over valleys and hills. 31 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:19,080 When all at once... 32 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,840 I saw a crowd... 33 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,640 a host of golden daffodils. 34 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:24,880 Besides the lake... 35 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:26,400 beneath the trees... 36 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:28,120 fluttering and dancing... 37 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:29,200 Whoa! 38 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:32,560 Siddhi! 39 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:38,520 I'm so sorry. 40 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,240 So this pretty gift is from... 41 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:32,720 Sejal! 42 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:35,400 Very sweet. They're all the same. 43 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:36,880 Well done Sejal. 44 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:40,120 These botoxed women... 45 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,320 Their eyebrows are permanently surprised. 46 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,880 When I break our news to them... 47 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,600 their eyebrows will fly off their faces. 48 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,560 If you hate them so much, why are they your friends? 49 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:55,600 Grow up Siddhi. 50 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:56,920 That's life. 51 00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:58,936 Sometimes you socialise with people... 52 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,320 even if you don't like them. 53 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,440 ?? 54 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,440 There she is! 55 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,400 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 56 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:12,880 Congratulations darling. 57 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,720 Thank you. And you look lovely. 58 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:15,800 Thank you Aunty. 59 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,440 And ladies... I have big news. 60 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:19,720 So do I. 61 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:21,880 You know my nephew Pavan? 62 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,160 He just got engaged. 63 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:25,800 Kinjal Lakhani. 64 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,040 Ms. NRI 2014 runner up! 65 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:30,240 With her. 66 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,440 Wow! That's really good news. 67 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:34,880 Siddhi, what did you do that... 68 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,520 Pavan just got engaged to the very next girl he met? 69 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:39,920 Karate chops? 70 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,320 By the way, you know whose daughter Kinjal is, don't you? 71 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,080 Surpriya and Akash Bhatt. 72 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:46,160 Oh no. 73 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:48,720 Sneha, wasn't your engagement with him called off? 74 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,560 And didn't your father gift him a car as good omen? 75 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,280 Then why did the engagement break Sneha? 76 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,800 Mona, today my Viju's net worth is... 77 00:03:57,880 --> 00:03:59,840 three times more than Akash. 78 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,040 And your nephew, Pavan? 79 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,120 I'm sorry to say but he eats chicken. 80 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,720 I'm thrilled that Siddhi narrowly escaped him. 81 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,480 In any case, I believe in destiny. 82 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:12,640 - Kuki's son, Mohit? - Yes? 83 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,280 Siddhi and he clicked like that. 84 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:16,800 And you know that family, right? 85 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,320 Only Mercedes and BMWs. 86 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:22,000 And they have this exquisite home in Dubai Marina. 87 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,720 Ladies, please save your dates for December. 88 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,720 I will throw Siddhi a destination wedding... 89 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,480 no one will ever forget. 90 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,920 He's such a handsome boy, Mona. 91 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,240 And great personal style. 92 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:37,800 He does all of Kuki's personal shopping for her. 93 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:38,480 Really? 94 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:39,920 Once you two get married, 95 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:41,920 I'm appointing Mohit my personal stylist. 96 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,800 But Sneha Aunty... 97 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,160 Mohit is gay. 98 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,000 Isn't he? 99 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:56,680 How long have you known this? 100 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:58,040 Since the beginning. 101 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:02,880 Why Siddhi! 102 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,120 Why do you always embarrass me in front of others? 103 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,360 Sneha is such a liar. 104 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,480 Do you know why her engagement broke? 105 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,360 Her father gifted Akash a car alright... 106 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,320 but he hadn't fully paid for it. 107 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:16,360 - Really? - Yes. 108 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,040 Why is Mummy so mean, Julie Didi? 109 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,280 Listen baby, 110 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,640 Madam is always on a diet. 111 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,160 That's why her blood sugar level is always low. 112 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,720 You know, in our Goa, there is one saying. 113 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:45,360 Always hungry means... 114 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,040 always angry. 115 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:52,320 See... My favourite. 116 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:53,880 Lemon and chocolate! 117 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,560 That's why I made them. 118 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:57,840 When will you teach me how to make cupcakes? 119 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:00,120 The next time Madam leaves town. 120 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:01,440 Promise. 121 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:04,760 I love your cupcakes. 122 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:05,840 I love you. 123 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,040 But I hate her. 124 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,480 Hey Sidi-Pidi... 125 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:16,560 it's me. 126 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,040 Take this... 127 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,720 Your papa's famous Mojito. 128 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,240 Papa, why did you marry her? 129 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,920 I wish I was never born. 130 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:34,840 Siddhi, please. 131 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:36,000 Don't say such things. 132 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,600 Why don't you ever say anything to Sneha? 133 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,640 You know Papa, mom has never once... 134 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:44,200 looked at me with love. 135 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,760 She's always judging me. 136 00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,560 It's like I can never do anything right. 137 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:53,080 I'm a perpetual embarrassment for her. 138 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,240 You know still, every day, 139 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,000 I just wait for her to say... 140 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,160 I love you Sidi-Pidi. 141 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:00,640 Like you do. 142 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,120 But she's never going to say it, is she? 143 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,000 You know your mother sweetheart. 144 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,120 She loves you very much. 145 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,880 But in her own Sneha Patel style. 146 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,360 Papa, please don't lie to me. 147 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,320 I swear on your cupcakes. 148 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:15,280 Now take this... 149 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:17,520 our only companion when we're sad. 150 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:18,400 I don't want it. 151 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,840 How can you not want it? 152 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,120 I've made it extra strong just for you. 153 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:24,560 Take it quickly. 154 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,120 Drink up... Come. 155 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,040 Cheers! 156 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:30,360 Cheers. 157 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:35,160 Really? 158 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,440 - Cheers, darling. - Cheers. 159 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,040 Oh my God... Don't do that. 160 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,440 You're not going to miss me at all. 161 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,240 Here. Xerxes' toys... 162 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,400 Did I hear Xerxes? 163 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:55,920 And... 164 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,440 his food bowl... I did, didn't I? 165 00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,840 His favourite blankie, everything's in here. 166 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,000 Also tell your mum his favourite is milk bread. 167 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:03,656 And you have to force him to drink water... 168 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,120 otherwise he gets dehydrated. 169 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,000 Ok? 170 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:06,920 And also... 171 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,360 O how the mighty have fallen. 172 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:09,240 What? 173 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,240 Ms. Rizvi Roy's in love... 174 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,480 Oh please! C'mon, out with it. 175 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:17,880 The minute I wake up, he licks my face. 176 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,640 Ok fine, I admit, maybe I'm a little... 177 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,160 tad bit attached. 178 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:24,880 Oh my God! 179 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:26,080 Your maternal instincts are awakening. 180 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:26,920 Shut up! 181 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,000 Shhh... 182 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:29,680 What is that noise? 183 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,000 Is that the sound of your biological clock ticking? 184 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:33,480 Out. 185 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,360 Out of my house! 186 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:35,920 - Right now. - Yes, it is. 187 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,200 - Go. - Yes, it is. 188 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,520 So I was watching this TV show... 189 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,000 about women, 190 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:46,520 you know, 191 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,760 doing crazy things! 192 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:50,760 TV show? 193 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:53,760 Ok, I did an online search. 194 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:56,440 I don't have experience. 195 00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:59,520 No worries. I'll show you. 196 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:01,720 Mamma, I want princess dress! 197 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,080 I want princess dress! 198 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:05,080 I want princess dress! Arya, no tantrums. 199 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:07,056 I want princess dress! You know better than that. 200 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,520 I want princess dress! 201 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,440 Okay, I'm going. I want princess dress! 202 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,120 What are... 203 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:14,880 leave it. 204 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,320 Arya... 205 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:19,880 Fuck. 206 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,240 Arya, very bad. 207 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,360 Hi Arya! 208 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:24,760 - Hi, Pookie aunty! - Hi! 209 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,360 What are you guys doing here? 210 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,520 Nothing, we were just like... 211 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:29,640 You know just... 212 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:30,720 Just walking around. 213 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,280 Pookie aunty, I want princess dress. 214 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:34,600 Oh! 215 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,320 A princess dress? 216 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,240 She's just driving me mad. 217 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:39,320 Arya... 218 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,040 Only boring girls wear princess dresses. 219 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,400 You're not a princess. 220 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:45,880 You're a warrior. 221 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,600 Like Wonder Woman. 222 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:48,040 Yes? 223 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,600 Mamma, I don't want princess dress. 224 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,480 I'm Wonder Woman. 225 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,640 Wow! Finally. 226 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,360 Do you want to get a coffee? 227 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,520 Ya, sure. 228 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:02,880 Sure! 229 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,680 You're quite good with kids. 230 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:07,360 Sister to... 231 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:08,440 three siblings. 232 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:12,200 So you were shopping? 233 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:14,760 Out buying socks for Varun. 234 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:16,560 Wow! 235 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,400 Varun finally shifted from slippers to shoes? 236 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:20,480 I wish! 237 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,000 I'm trying. 238 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,560 A little cleanliness, is that too much to ask for? 239 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:25,560 Oh my God. 240 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:26,680 Please don't remind me. 241 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,960 Wash basin used to be filled with his post shave stubble. 242 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:31,880 And his clipped toe nails in the pot. 243 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,520 Wet towel on the bed, on the sofa... 244 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,280 Sometimes on top of ironed clothes and... 245 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:39,400 under the treadmill, his slippers! 246 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,360 Does he still wear... 247 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,440 his undies in reverse the next day? 248 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:46,960 Oh God! Yes! 249 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:49,800 - Why! Why! Why! - Ugh! 250 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:50,880 Fuck! 251 00:11:58,520 --> 00:11:59,520 Hey... 252 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,440 The equation I have with Arya... 253 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,880 I don't want to be her mom. 254 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,680 And I can't, even if I tried. 255 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:12,560 It's just that... 256 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,400 Arya's very important to Varun and... 257 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:18,440 I just want to be the fun aunt. 258 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:21,200 Sometimes, 259 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,360 I wish I could be the fun aunt. 260 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:26,200 Work pressure, 261 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:28,520 mother's guilt, household chores... 262 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,440 I wish I had one day... 263 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,000 to just be me. 264 00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:35,880 And not Arya's mamma. 265 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,160 I mean is it too much to ask for? 266 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,160 Like just... one fucking day! 267 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:44,440 I know what you're saying. 268 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,040 In all the roles we play, 269 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:47,960 whilst living for everyone else, 270 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,640 we forget to live a little for ourselves. 271 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,000 Maybe it's time we reclaim that! 272 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,040 We all need to learn how to please ourselves. 273 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:01,160 Did you just say that? 274 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:03,400 Ya! 275 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:10,520 I've done it. 276 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,360 I've bought myself a vibrator. 277 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:13,200 How'd you do it? 278 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,280 Like did you have to stick it in like a fire stick? 279 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:17,440 Dude! Clit play! 280 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,200 I'm going to make you google vagina. 281 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,560 Seriously. I know what a clit is! 282 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:24,080 Mostly Ms. VeeVee won't need it. 283 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:25,760 My meet and greet is about to begin. 284 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:26,840 Dude! Oh my goodness! 285 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,576 You're the only person who'd call an online date... 286 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,800 a meet and greet! 287 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:30,360 Seriously! 288 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:31,680 But it is right? 289 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,160 Hey, hi! How do you do? 290 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:34,920 Doggy style? 291 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,000 Missionary? 292 00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:37,680 Anal? 293 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,960 Okay, so what role are you going to play? 294 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,616 Is it going to be like lost babe in the woods? 295 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:42,120 Or is it going to be like... 296 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:43,576 Come here! Let me teach you a thing or two! 297 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:44,720 Hey! MPDG! 298 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:46,480 What is MPDG? 299 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:47,560 Sounds like a disease. 300 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:48,960 It kind of is. 301 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,560 Manic Pixie Dream Girl. 302 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,200 This bohemian dream girl who writes poetry. 303 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:54,920 Can drink any guy under the table. 304 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,280 And... who pees in the streets. 305 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,560 Ya. She talks to the clouds. 306 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,440 And whose IQ is like that of a five-year old. 307 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:02,760 The one who dances in the rain. 308 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:03,280 Wow! 309 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:04,400 Not for cardio. 310 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,160 Just because she's free spirited! 311 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,480 They're like horny unicorns! 312 00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:10,080 They have carefree sex and... 313 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:11,576 then just like that, they disappear. 314 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,480 Because commitment is a myth. 315 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,400 Basically, every guy's fantasy come true. 316 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,720 That's my fantasy as well. 317 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,080 Mangs, 318 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:20,376 they exist just so that they can... 319 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,720 save the hero from his disgusting, boring life. 320 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:24,560 You are the antithesis of that. 321 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,000 You live only for yourself, ok? 322 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,816 By the way, where can I find these strange creatures? 323 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:28,840 Like in the zoo? 324 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,480 In books, films... shows. 325 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:32,680 Written by men. 326 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:33,760 Made by men. 327 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:34,960 For men. 328 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:35,560 Wow. 329 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:36,640 I can understand this... 330 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:38,640 drinking-them-under-the-table business, right? 331 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,360 But peeing in the streets? 332 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,400 I mean, c'mon! I do Kegels. 333 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:43,536 Wait, wait, wait, wait... Wow! 334 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:44,360 What is Kegels now? 335 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:45,600 Okay wait. Who is Kegels? 336 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:46,960 Not who, what. 337 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,640 So basically, it's a pelvic flow muscular exercise. 338 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,240 On the count of three, clench and then release alright? 339 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:53,440 One, two, three... 340 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:54,520 Clench! 341 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:55,800 And then release. 342 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,160 One more time, clench! 343 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,040 And then release. 344 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:01,120 - Oh shit! - Yes! 345 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,280 I think I just peed a little. What! 346 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,600 Listen, you got your peeing-on-the-streets fantasy! 347 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:07,360 Fuck! Finally! 348 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:08,880 Where should we head? 349 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:09,760 She has to pee! 350 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:10,840 I'm ok, I think. 351 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:11,936 I'm so hungry. Let's go eat. 352 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,400 We have to find her a loo! 353 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:24,480 Oh my God. 354 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,880 Did you read about Karan and Shaina's love child? 355 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,920 Seriously, what the fuck! I was so shocked! 356 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,640 This Investigator.com app is so cool. See... 357 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:34,320 Show. 358 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:35,800 Check it out. 359 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:36,840 Amazing! 360 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,360 Where do they get this stuff? 361 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:40,440 I know! 362 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:41,520 Damn cool! 363 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:42,600 I know! 364 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:44,440 Excuse me. 365 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:45,640 Ya? 366 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,416 Reading about people's affairs and love children is not fun. 367 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:49,520 It's ridiculous. 368 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:50,720 I'm sorry? 369 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,880 You should be, for reading crap like this. 370 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,600 Don't you read real news? 371 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:55,920 This is news. 372 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:57,440 Ya... 373 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,360 Investigator.com used to be one of the... 374 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,456 most trustworthy news sites for the last three years. 375 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,120 And because of low IQ dumbos like you, 376 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,880 we have to now publish cheap gossip. 377 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:09,560 You should be ashamed of yourself. 378 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:10,480 You know what? 379 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,960 Why don't you stop thinking about who's fucking whom... 380 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,560 and actually start thinking about... 381 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,056 how you think you're fucking the system... 382 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,120 but actually, it's the system that's fucking you! 383 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:19,960 Idiots! 384 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:21,040 Hashtag weirdo! 385 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:24,480 Hey! 386 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:25,400 Oh hi... 387 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:26,360 How are you? 388 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:27,440 Good. 389 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:29,040 You... 390 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:29,920 Are you okay? 391 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:30,720 Ya... 392 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:31,920 You're crying... 393 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,960 I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry. 394 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,040 What happened? 395 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:38,000 I'm so sorry. 396 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:38,400 Oh my God. 397 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:39,240 This is so embarrassing. What's wrong? 398 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:40,360 I'm so sorry. 399 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:41,800 - Is everything okay? - Ya, ya... 400 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:44,200 I'm so sorry. 401 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,520 This doesn't happen to me. It's okay. It's alright. 402 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:47,400 It's alright. 403 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:48,520 Should I take you home? 404 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:50,360 I'll take you home. 405 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,200 Feeling better? 406 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:04,520 Ya... 407 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:06,920 Are you sure you're okay? 408 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:20,440 Damini... 409 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:22,640 You're my patient. 410 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:26,080 Not right now. 411 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,240 A woman has eight erogenous zones. 412 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:07,280 The ear. 413 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:10,880 The neck. 414 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:15,920 The breasts. 415 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,000 Ouch! 416 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,440 Sorry you okay? 417 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:20,760 Ya ya... that's fine... go on. 418 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:24,080 Wait! 419 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,200 Those were... 420 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,040 expensive. 421 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:29,440 The vagina. 422 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,240 The cervix. 423 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:37,520 And finally... 424 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,760 The piece de resistance... 425 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:42,520 What's that? 426 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,080 Getting to your... 427 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:45,800 G-spot. 428 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:47,560 Okay... 429 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:49,320 Here? 430 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:50,480 No... 431 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:51,280 Here? 432 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,320 Uh... not there either... 433 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:55,800 Here. 434 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,200 And they say the G-spot is a myth. 435 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:17,520 We are done? 436 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,960 Well, today was about you. 437 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:22,960 Next time... 438 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:24,640 will be about both of us. 439 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,040 Oh! 440 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,400 Okay. 441 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,680 Hi baby! 442 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,000 Check out the new books. 443 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:44,560 Hmm... 444 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,240 So you and Kavya are bonding now? 445 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:51,640 I knew it. 446 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,560 She told you? 447 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,160 It's just a fucking vibrator. 448 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:01,040 I'm sorry, what? 449 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,400 Mom has a rocket in her bag. 450 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:07,880 Wow! 451 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,880 From no sex to sex on tap? 452 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:13,440 Anj, 453 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,440 you're beginning to worry me now. 454 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:17,760 Awww... 455 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,320 Don't be worried sweetheart. 456 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,000 I'm just an overworked, single mom... 457 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,440 whose ex-husband... 458 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,640 doesn't contribute a single penny. 459 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,000 Who thinks he's twenty years old... 460 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,520 and changes his girlfriend every six months. 461 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,080 So I'm really sorry... 462 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,240 if I decided to relieve myself of... 463 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,960 some of the stress. 464 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:39,680 Bye Arya! 465 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:40,760 Bye. 466 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,800 It's a date not a meet and greet. 467 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,240 Ya, I'm meeting him at the bar. 468 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,160 Dinner is too much commitment. 469 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,480 If I don't like him, I'll just say bye to him. 470 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:52,800 Besides I'm meeting a... 471 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:55,040 meeting a new intern for a job interview later. 472 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,080 Ya. 473 00:20:58,720 --> 00:20:59,720 Hi! 474 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,320 Ok, I gotta go. Bye. 475 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:06,760 Hi! 476 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,160 Hi. 477 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,440 I hope I didn't make you wait too long... 478 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:11,520 No, not at all. 479 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:12,920 Okay. 480 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:14,920 Ya. 481 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:20,920 You're very good looking. 482 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,480 Your photo does you no justice. 483 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,400 You look a lot younger than your picture as well. 484 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:28,320 Well, 485 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:29,960 sue me for being hot. 486 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:34,040 So, is it your first time or... 487 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:35,240 you're like a pro? 488 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,680 Actually, this is my fourth meeting. 489 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:40,280 Window shopping? 490 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:44,080 No, I've actually just given a few... It's alright. 491 00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:45,760 I'm window shopping too. 492 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,760 I think we all deserve the best. 493 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:49,720 Of course. 494 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:51,520 Do you want to play a little game? 495 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:53,760 Sure. 496 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,120 Boxers or briefs? 497 00:21:58,880 --> 00:21:59,880 Legal briefs. 498 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:03,400 Nice... 499 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,040 Lawyer joke, nice! 500 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:07,560 Your turn. 501 00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:09,280 My turn, right. 502 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,000 Civil or criminal? 503 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,680 Civil when you're nice... 504 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,520 and criminal... 505 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:16,600 when you're dirty. 506 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,400 For fear of contempt of court. 507 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,440 Oh shit. 508 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:29,840 Shit, he's early. 509 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:36,560 Can you just give me five minutes? 510 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:38,560 - Ya. - Ya? 511 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:39,440 And... 512 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,640 order me a Chianti, will you? 513 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:44,120 Ah... sure. 514 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:45,680 Don't be so nervous. 515 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:46,760 Just... 516 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,640 imagine me without clothes. 517 00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:50,120 You'll be fine. 518 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:56,640 Hi. 519 00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:58,360 - Hi. - I'm Anjana Menon. 520 00:22:58,440 --> 00:22:59,440 Nice to meet you. 521 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:00,320 Please sit. 522 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:02,200 There is no need for formality. 523 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,600 Actually it's my first time so... 524 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,880 Ah! Don't worry. I'll teach you everything... 525 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,720 as long as you are willing to learn. 526 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:10,640 Ya, I'm more than willing. 527 00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:12,920 Super. Let's get started. 528 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:14,680 Now? 529 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:16,320 Ya. 530 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:17,960 Okay, so... 531 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,880 should we go to a hotel or... 532 00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:22,240 Why a hotel? Why not here? 533 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:23,320 Here? 534 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:24,560 You mean like... 535 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:26,400 in the washroom? 536 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:28,040 Oh! 537 00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:29,120 You need to go? 538 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:30,320 No. 539 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:32,920 Sorry I... 540 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,000 I'm a little confused. 541 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:35,080 Okay... 542 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:36,200 You know what? 543 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:37,000 Let's start afresh. 544 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:37,520 - Ya. - Ya? 545 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,320 Let's do that. So tell me about your strengths. 546 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:42,720 Okay. 547 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,760 So, I'm extremely fun loving. 548 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:47,120 Easy going. 549 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:48,320 I'm a great listener. 550 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:49,440 - Right. - Very caring. 551 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:50,840 And I... 552 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,400 give the best foot massages. 553 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:55,840 Okay! 554 00:23:56,360 --> 00:23:57,480 And your weaknesses? 555 00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:58,960 I don't have any. 556 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:05,520 I can go five times in one night. 557 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:22,280 Let's start again. 558 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,560 Hi, I'm Anjana Menon, 559 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,800 Senior Associate at Lalwani and Jhunjhunwalas. 560 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:30,480 Arjun... Nair. 561 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:32,880 It is an absolute pleasure to meet you. 562 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:33,760 I'm a huge fan. 563 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,280 I have read all your articles in Lawyers Today. 564 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,000 And I have also studied your cases in NLS. 565 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:40,720 Thanks. 566 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,080 So did you hire the intern? 567 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:53,520 Obviously. 568 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,920 Else, he would've sued me for sexual harassment. 569 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,160 See you Jeh... 570 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:11,920 Hey, no last order? 571 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:13,720 Nah, I'm done. 572 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:14,360 Hey listen, 573 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,840 I'm really sorry I crossed the line. 574 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,000 When? 575 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:19,456 You know when I said all that... 576 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:21,040 biological clock nonsense. 577 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:25,920 Can I give you one advice? 578 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:27,280 Yes, tell me... 579 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:29,840 Please, never be a stand-up comedian. 580 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,400 Bad jokes are in my genes. 581 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,760 If you ever come to Goa to meet Xerxes... 582 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,240 you'll see how crazy my Parsi family is. 583 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:41,560 And how unfunny. 584 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:44,600 Seriously though, anytime. 585 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,160 I also make a mean fish curry. 586 00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:51,120 Sold. 587 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:55,600 You always leave too soon. 588 00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:01,000 I thought I always overstayed. 589 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:02,400 No, never. 590 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:03,960 Hey, hang on. 591 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:10,280 Irish single malt. 592 00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:12,360 The best. 593 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:14,520 Stay? 594 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:43,440 Mamma! 595 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,000 God you scared me! 596 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,520 Look at the state you're in. 597 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:52,840 Are you drunk? 598 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:57,760 From tomorrow, you will stop hanging out... 599 00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,080 with those loose girls. 600 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:01,040 Loose? 601 00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:03,480 Mama, Umang works out everyday. 602 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,640 She's so tight, you know... 603 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,720 It's no wonder even Pavan rejected you. 604 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:09,880 Good riddance. 605 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,520 He wanted to suck my toes. 606 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:13,200 So? 607 00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:15,720 Some guys like toes and some guys like breasts. 608 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,960 But if you keep rejecting boys like this, 609 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:20,600 you'll be alone forever. 610 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:22,520 And if you don't get married, 611 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:24,800 what do you have Siddhi? 612 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:29,120 Do you even love me? 613 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:31,560 Excuse me? 614 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:36,240 You tore me up coming out of me Siddhi! 615 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,080 Then why did you give birth to me? 616 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:39,760 You should've had an abortion! 617 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,136 Or you should've just handed me over to Julie Didi! 618 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:43,480 Atleast she loved me! 619 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:44,840 All our problems would be solved! 620 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:45,960 All our problems! 621 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:47,320 Julie? 622 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,056 The one who kept feeding you cupcakes as a kid... 623 00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:50,840 and gave you so many problems? 624 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,656 And you think she cared for you more than I do? 625 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:55,080 Yes, she did. 626 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,360 I loved her more than I will ever love you. 627 00:27:58,920 --> 00:27:59,920 In fact I just... 628 00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:01,560 hate you! 629 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,640 Yes yes... you can hate me all you like Siddhi! 630 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,120 But that won't get you a nice boy to marry! 631 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:11,120 One meeting with that Mohit boy... 632 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,040 and he turned gay! 633 00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:14,640 He chose men over you! 634 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,840 Shut up! Just shut up Sneha! 635 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:19,720 You know what? 636 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:20,680 Maybe... just maybe... 637 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:22,520 you should try eating once in a while! 638 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:24,320 It might make you a nicer person! 639 00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:30,480 Julie Didi! Cheese toast! 640 00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:32,480 Siddhi baby, salad. 641 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:34,640 Siddhi! 642 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:36,600 This is our new maid, Lekha Didi. 643 00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:38,880 Where's Julie Didi? 644 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:40,800 I had to fire her baby. 645 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,600 That witch had turned this place into a cupcake factory. 646 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,160 C'mon, eat your salad. 41044

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