All language subtitles for Lexx S04E21 - Viva Lexx Vegas (1080p AI Upscale DVD x265 HEVC 10bit AC3 Vertag)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:31,400 Oh, my god. 2 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,800 Oh, my god. 3 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:44,000 This is incredible. 4 00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,800 Argh! 5 00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:58,000 Kiss, mmh, kiss Bunny. 6 00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:04,000 Kiss Bunny. 7 00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:10,800 Kiss, kissy kiss, kissy kissy kissy kiss! 8 00:02:10,835 --> 00:02:13,417 Oh, Bunny. 9 00:02:13,452 --> 00:02:16,000 Mr. President. 10 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,200 Mr. President! 11 00:02:19,235 --> 00:02:19,965 Yes? 12 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:23,700 Time for business, OK? Now look - we saved your butt, 13 00:02:23,735 --> 00:02:26,365 so you are gonna fly us back to the Lexx 14 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:30,400 so we can finally get far away from your stupid planet, right Kai? 15 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,600 In Air Force One? 16 00:02:31,635 --> 00:02:33,565 In whatever! 17 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,865 I don't think Air Force One goes into outer space. 18 00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:38,800 We would be able to return to the Lexx on one of your space shuttles. 19 00:02:38,835 --> 00:02:42,800 Oh, yes, yes, of course. Well, I'll just check. 20 00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:47,365 General Frootydude here. 21 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,400 Good evening general, this is the President. 22 00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:52,765 - Having fun, Xev? - Not yet. 23 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:56,800 We don't seem to have any space shuttles available just at the moment. 24 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,665 Oh, great. 25 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:01,600 We've been kind of burning through them. 26 00:03:01,635 --> 00:03:03,600 Well that's your problem, pal! 27 00:03:03,635 --> 00:03:04,665 Now look - 28 00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:09,500 we saved your butt, so you owe us. And you are the President of this planet - 29 00:03:09,535 --> 00:03:11,617 so you make it happen. 30 00:03:11,652 --> 00:03:13,665 - Make it happen? - Yes! 31 00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:16,200 Stan, why are you in such a hurry to leave? 32 00:03:16,235 --> 00:03:18,165 Do I have to answer that question? 33 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,965 - You just don't know how to enjoy yourself. - Make it happen...? 34 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,600 Well, maybe I would Xev if this was a good planet, but this is a bad planet, 35 00:03:24,635 --> 00:03:26,900 this is a very very bad planet. 36 00:03:26,935 --> 00:03:28,465 It's not all bad. 37 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:33,000 They say they can arrange a flight from... um, from... from... er... 38 00:03:33,035 --> 00:03:37,500 from Ellis air force base in California for the day after tomorrow. 39 00:03:37,535 --> 00:03:40,000 Well, what are we supposed to do until then? 40 00:03:40,035 --> 00:03:42,000 I wanna party. 41 00:03:42,035 --> 00:03:43,617 Well... 42 00:03:43,652 --> 00:03:45,165 not me! 43 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:49,000 I just wanna go someplace nice and quiet where nothing's gonna happen - 44 00:03:49,035 --> 00:03:50,800 like the middle of a desert. 45 00:03:50,835 --> 00:03:51,865 - Oh! - What? 46 00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:53,300 You could go to Las Vegas. 47 00:03:53,335 --> 00:03:54,165 What's Las Vegas? 48 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,700 Well, it's in the middle of the desert, and you can party there. 49 00:03:57,735 --> 00:04:01,400 It's like non-stop fun, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week - 50 00:04:01,435 --> 00:04:03,300 well, as long as you have money. 51 00:04:03,335 --> 00:04:05,567 I wanna go to Las Vegas! 52 00:04:05,602 --> 00:04:07,765 No, thank you! Listen! 53 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,765 You just drop us off beside your space shuttle, 54 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:15,000 and we will just wait there inside until it's ready to go, OK? 55 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:16,865 OK. 56 00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:20,900 Stan, this might be our last chance to have any kind of fun on this planet 57 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,300 before we leave it behind forever. 58 00:04:22,335 --> 00:04:25,365 No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 59 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:30,300 Oh - and there's lots of cute professional girls in Las Vegas. 60 00:04:30,335 --> 00:04:32,665 - And boys? - Mmhmm, and... 61 00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:37,700 they really like guys like you Stanley - as long as you have lots of money. 62 00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:42,765 Well, we don't have any money. 63 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:46,400 You can have my ATF credit card. It has a three million dollar limit. 64 00:04:46,435 --> 00:04:48,800 That's enough for a lot of fun, I'm sure. 65 00:04:48,835 --> 00:04:52,800 May we go? 66 00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:11,265 Hey, hey. 67 00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:15,300 Hey, I'm back. It's me, look. 68 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:20,200 - Hey, did you miss me? - No. 69 00:05:20,235 --> 00:05:21,265 Why not? 70 00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:23,100 'Cause you're never gonna amount to nothing. 71 00:05:23,135 --> 00:05:25,065 - Ah, just you wait. - What? 72 00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:28,800 Just you wait to see what I brought back from Egypt. 73 00:05:28,835 --> 00:05:32,465 Aces over eights. Dead man's hand. Remo, come here. 74 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,700 You know why they call aces over eight's dead man's hand? 75 00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:35,165 No. 76 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,100 Because the next time you do something stupid you're gonna be a dead man - 77 00:05:38,135 --> 00:05:40,017 even if you is my cousin. You capice? 78 00:05:40,052 --> 00:05:42,076 - I was just thinking... - What? 79 00:05:42,111 --> 00:05:44,065 - About the family. - Oh, yeah? 80 00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:46,300 Yeah. I mean, if a business is gonna survive, 81 00:05:46,335 --> 00:05:48,567 it's gotta adapt with the changing times. 82 00:05:48,602 --> 00:05:52,001 - We gotta diversify. - Diversify into what? 83 00:05:52,036 --> 00:05:55,365 The antiquities market. Or... particle physics. 84 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,800 That way we don't have to depend on all that other stuff. 85 00:05:58,835 --> 00:06:00,765 Let me remind you. 86 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,200 We Tuttis are where we are because of three things - 87 00:06:03,235 --> 00:06:06,400 gambling, prostitution, extortion and drugs. 88 00:06:06,435 --> 00:06:09,365 It's what the family was built on - OK? 89 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:13,400 Not this anti-quatty-quiddy stuff and particle physics. 90 00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:19,800 Starting today, you're gonna learn the business from the ground up, OK? 91 00:06:19,835 --> 00:06:22,800 From the bottom, Remo - you capice? 92 00:06:22,835 --> 00:06:26,300 - Yeah. - Yeah? Now go away. 93 00:06:26,335 --> 00:06:27,800 More drinks. 94 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:36,900 I'm a Cluster lizard, and Vegas looks so good. Woo! 95 00:06:36,935 --> 00:06:38,100 Where are you from? 96 00:06:38,135 --> 00:06:40,065 I'm from B3K. 97 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:41,365 Is that in Canada? 98 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:46,300 It's in the Light Zone. And we want fun, and lots of it! 99 00:06:46,335 --> 00:06:47,565 What type of fun? 100 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:51,900 We don't want any type of fun, we just want a quiet place to stay for a night, 101 00:06:51,935 --> 00:06:54,565 you know, maybe a place to stay with... er... 102 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,765 - you know, girls that like guys like me. - And boys! 103 00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:01,700 Girls who like guys like me. Guys with lotsa... lotsa money. 104 00:07:01,735 --> 00:07:03,500 Oh, you gotta be going to King Tutt's. 105 00:07:03,535 --> 00:07:04,565 What is King Tutt's? 106 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,400 - It's like a palace. - A palace, that sounds great. 107 00:07:07,435 --> 00:07:09,865 A number one, all the way. You know what? 108 00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:14,600 I got a little in with the owners. We all like family down here. 109 00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,665 I can get you a special rate. 110 00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:20,100 Does this special rate include professional women? 111 00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:23,600 We in Las Vegas! Hey, you just ask for the 112 00:07:23,635 --> 00:07:26,965 special room service, yeah,... 113 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,165 - ... special. - Yeah, special room... 114 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:32,200 That'll be fifty... three hundred and fifty dollars. 115 00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:40,100 You guys gonna have a good time tonight. 116 00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:45,100 OK, special room service. OK. 117 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,300 Hi. 118 00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:00,700 Hi. 119 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:04,600 Welcome to the King Tutt, where the only curse is fun. 120 00:08:04,635 --> 00:08:06,800 You guys here for the Vegas Con? 121 00:08:06,835 --> 00:08:07,665 Huh? 122 00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,100 Science fiction convention. 123 00:08:09,135 --> 00:08:10,165 No. 124 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:13,565 But we still get the special rate, right? 125 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:21,100 Yeah, it's four... teen... hundred dollars. Fourteen hundred dollars for a room. 126 00:08:21,135 --> 00:08:24,400 Oh, there's also a four hundred dollar room fee. 127 00:08:24,435 --> 00:08:25,565 So where's all the fun? 128 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:28,100 There's also a nine hundred dollar water tax - 129 00:08:28,135 --> 00:08:31,600 this is a desert after all, you know. 130 00:08:31,635 --> 00:08:34,565 Excuse me - where is all the fun? 131 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:38,600 I think we'll just go to the room, Xev. 132 00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:46,900 Thank you. Thank you for staying at the King Tutt. Thank you. 133 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:53,000 Oo! See you later. 134 00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:03,965 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Where are you going? 135 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,500 - I'm going out to look for some fun. - No. Nobody is going anywhere. 136 00:09:07,535 --> 00:09:09,900 - What?! - We are staying right here! 137 00:09:09,935 --> 00:09:11,065 Why is that? 138 00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:13,900 Because Xev, on this planet we're a magnet for trouble. 139 00:09:13,935 --> 00:09:14,765 So? 140 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,500 So, nobody is going in and nobody is coming out 141 00:09:17,535 --> 00:09:20,200 until President Priest says the shuttle's ready. 142 00:09:20,235 --> 00:09:22,165 That doesn't sound like fun. 143 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:27,000 Fun? They've got room service, OK? You can get anything you want. 144 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,165 Now in the meantime we're staying right here, 145 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:36,000 out of sight until the shuttle is ready. That's the plan and we're sticking to it. 146 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:19,300 Remo Tutti, who is not at his booth at the front desk - 147 00:10:19,335 --> 00:10:23,300 report to King's office now! 148 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:44,800 Behold King Ramses slave girls of the Eighteenth dynasty. 149 00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:49,700 Stick your numbers out sweetheart. Just check the numbers folks. 150 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:54,500 The world famous King Tutt luxury hotel and casino once again invites you 151 00:10:54,535 --> 00:10:58,500 to select the slave girl of your choice. 152 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,400 All you gotta do is pick up your phone and demand room service - 153 00:11:02,435 --> 00:11:04,365 Egyptian style. 154 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:09,000 And don't forget the number of the slave girl who you might want, OK? 155 00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:13,600 Just check the number of the girl who makes your whip crack the best. 156 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:18,600 And as always, remember - it's first served, first come, ha, ha, ha! 157 00:11:18,635 --> 00:11:23,367 King Tutt has spoken. Put the number... 21. 158 00:11:23,402 --> 00:11:28,065 I didn't know the Earth had love slaves. 159 00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:31,265 I'm not sure they are slaves, in the conventional sense. 160 00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:35,300 No, no, no, no, no, they're like the slaves in the Celes pleasure transport sense - 161 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:39,000 which is just fine by Stanley H. Tweedle. 162 00:11:39,035 --> 00:11:40,900 - Hello? - Wha..., wha... Oh. 163 00:11:40,935 --> 00:11:41,965 Hello? 164 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:49,000 Yeah, I want to order room service - Egyptian style. 165 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:55,865 Er, er... number 24... 166 00:11:55,900 --> 00:12:03,900 and, er... number... er... number 88. 167 00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:08,100 Yeah. OK. Oh, good. OK. 168 00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:10,300 Yup! 169 00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:14,265 All you have to do is phone, folks. 170 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:18,300 OK, cut, I'm gonna get a freaking hernia over here. 171 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,800 Remo - why ain't you at the front desk? 172 00:12:56,835 --> 00:12:58,900 I know King, I was... 173 00:12:58,935 --> 00:12:59,865 What? 174 00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:01,565 - I was... - What? 175 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,065 I was just looking for something. 176 00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:05,865 The only thing you should be looking for are undercover cops. 177 00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:09,800 Now get back out there before I whack you into the middle of next week. 178 00:13:09,835 --> 00:13:11,800 OK, King. 179 00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:16,900 This guy...! Royal flush. Read 'em and weep. 180 00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:27,100 You, Stanley Tweedle, are an Egyptian love god. 181 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,965 Aw, you guys, you don't know how to have fun! 182 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:39,200 You don't know how to take a situation, turn it around, make it work for you. 183 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,300 - What are we supposed to do? - What do you mean? 184 00:13:41,335 --> 00:13:43,165 Kai and myself? 185 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,750 That's up to you guys. 186 00:13:44,785 --> 00:13:46,265 When those girls get here? 187 00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:52,300 Hmm, oh, I don't know, you could, er... join in. 188 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,600 - I think I prefer to have my own fun. - Oh,... 189 00:13:58,635 --> 00:14:00,600 suit yourself. 190 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:07,000 And in the other corner, our reigning champeen and... 191 00:14:07,035 --> 00:14:09,365 Is that a woman, or a man? 192 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:10,965 - It is a woman. - The Queen of Sheba! 193 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,100 - She sure has a lot of muscles. - Right now the Queen of Sheba 194 00:14:14,135 --> 00:14:17,567 is five to two, so if you wanna make a little cash 195 00:14:17,602 --> 00:14:21,000 just pick up your in-house phone and place your bets. 196 00:14:21,035 --> 00:14:26,265 Yowsa, yowsa, yowsa! Get in the cage. 197 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,665 - What are they doing? - In the damn cage! 198 00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:32,700 I believe gamblers are betting on the outcome of the contest. 199 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,800 What was that for?! 200 00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,065 Hi. 201 00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:46,200 What's your game, mister? 202 00:15:46,235 --> 00:15:48,265 I was a Divine Assassin. 203 00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:51,065 Oo, I bet you like it straight, no talk. 204 00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:54,500 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, girls, girls, girls, you got it all wrong. 205 00:15:54,535 --> 00:15:57,600 See, I'm the one who ordered room service - 206 00:15:57,635 --> 00:15:59,065 Stanley Tweedle. 207 00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:02,700 I'm captain of the Lexx, the most powerful destructive force in the 208 00:16:02,735 --> 00:16:03,565 two universes. 209 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,400 Well that's great captain, but it's gonna cost you extra. 210 00:16:06,435 --> 00:16:08,167 - Hmm? - We were told 211 00:16:08,202 --> 00:16:09,801 there was just one of you. 212 00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,365 It costs extra for three. 213 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:15,100 Oh, no, no, no, there's just the one of me, just me. 214 00:16:15,135 --> 00:16:19,100 See, Kai here is dead - from the neck down. 215 00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:22,900 - Oh, I see. - Yeah. And Xev was just leaving. 216 00:16:22,935 --> 00:16:25,065 Oh, I was? I thought you said... 217 00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:29,100 Aw, Xev, come on - just go have yourself some fun, OK? 218 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:30,465 Why? 219 00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:31,900 Just promise not to leave the hotel. 220 00:16:31,935 --> 00:16:34,067 - Why? - Xev! 221 00:16:34,102 --> 00:16:36,165 Just promise, OK? 222 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:40,200 - Thanks for your concern. Bye! - Just - yeah. 223 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,965 - So, you in town for the Vegas Con? - No. 224 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:59,100 Kai, er... I wonder, would you mind doing me a favour? 225 00:16:59,135 --> 00:16:59,665 What? 226 00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:03,700 Er... would you mind checking out the place for a while? 227 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:07,000 Check out, say, the hallways, see if they're all the same? 228 00:17:07,035 --> 00:17:08,665 Maybe some might be different. 229 00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:12,300 Are you sure you do not want me here, to protect you? 230 00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:18,117 Oh, no. I think if anybody's going to need protection, 231 00:17:18,152 --> 00:17:23,900 it's gonna be number 88 and number 24. Am I right girls? 232 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,965 OK, let's see it. 233 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,700 Oh, you wanna see it right away? OK. 234 00:17:41,735 --> 00:17:45,465 No, business before pleasure. 235 00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:48,300 Like, duh - what planet are you from? 236 00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:50,000 Ostral B, why? 237 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:55,000 Oh, OK, no problem. 238 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,465 How do you like it mister? 239 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:29,500 Oh, I like it any which way at all - 240 00:18:29,535 --> 00:18:31,165 just as long as you... 241 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:37,400 take your time, and do it fine - fine, fine, fine. 242 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:42,400 Stanley the stunner makes love like no other. 243 00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:25,465 Oo, that's gotta smart. 244 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:31,600 The winner, and still reigning champeen of the fighters, King Tutt hotel - 245 00:19:31,635 --> 00:19:35,600 the Queen of Sheba! 246 00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:37,400 How's the wing honey? Put a little ice on it. 247 00:19:37,435 --> 00:19:39,065 Get outta here and don't gimme any dirty looks. 248 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:42,900 For those of youse who put your money down on the Queen, 249 00:19:42,935 --> 00:19:46,700 simply drop by the cashier's desk to pick up your money. 250 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,450 For the others, who bet the other way, well hey - 251 00:19:50,485 --> 00:19:53,500 there's another bout coming right up shortly. 252 00:19:53,535 --> 00:19:57,900 Yowsa, yow... yowsa! 253 00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:01,465 I wanna try. I wanna fight - her. 254 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:04,200 - What's your name, sweetheart? - Xev, Xev of B3K. 255 00:20:04,235 --> 00:20:07,600 B3K? You know the rules? 256 00:20:07,635 --> 00:20:08,165 No. 257 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,400 Doesn't matter, there aren't any rules - no biting! 258 00:20:11,435 --> 00:20:12,565 No biting? 259 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,900 Ah, it's just a guideline. You ready? 260 00:20:14,935 --> 00:20:15,965 Guess so. 261 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:20,600 And now ladies and gentlemen, all the way from... 262 00:20:20,635 --> 00:20:24,265 B3K, which is close to Cucamonga, 263 00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:30,000 we have our newest challenger - the one, the only - Xev! 264 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,400 - King, who's the new talent? - So lets open the betting... 265 00:20:36,435 --> 00:20:38,100 - How should I know? - eight to one for the Queen. 266 00:20:38,135 --> 00:20:40,465 Just as long as the odds keep going north, 267 00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:43,600 - and she plays ball, right? - Yowsa, yowsa, yowsa. 268 00:20:43,635 --> 00:20:47,600 Two pair. Aces high. The King wins again. 269 00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:09,500 Hey, what the hell is this, a dance? 270 00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:12,100 Come on, do something. Rattle the cage! 271 00:21:12,135 --> 00:21:13,965 OK, let's fight. 272 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,000 Yeah, novel idea, fight. 273 00:21:36,900 --> 00:21:39,065 Drago. 274 00:21:39,100 --> 00:21:43,100 Look, I'm just a little out of practice, OK? And you girls - 275 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,100 you're really not making it happen for me. 276 00:21:45,135 --> 00:21:47,465 - It happens to men your age. - Yeah. 277 00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:50,600 It's all right tiger. We'll just be on our way then. Nice meeting you. 278 00:21:50,635 --> 00:21:52,165 No, no, no, don't go! 279 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,665 - Why not? - Look, just because - 280 00:21:54,700 --> 00:21:57,900 captain Stan is having a little trouble getting the rocket off the launch pad, 281 00:21:57,935 --> 00:21:59,700 does not mean he's going to abort the mission. 282 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:00,465 It doesn't? 283 00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:03,500 No, it just means that you girls are going to have to work 284 00:22:03,535 --> 00:22:06,165 a little bit harder. 285 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,000 What did you have in mind, captain? 286 00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:09,465 Well, 287 00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:14,200 I think the old rocket may need a little special treatment, 288 00:22:14,235 --> 00:22:16,765 I'm sure you girls can deliver. 289 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,900 Don't miss the mummy brunch, in the pharaoh's dining room. 290 00:22:20,935 --> 00:22:23,900 That's the mummy brunch. 291 00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:26,665 So... 292 00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:32,200 what are you gonna do for captain Stan, the stud man? 293 00:22:32,235 --> 00:22:37,700 Well, we want you to lie back and close your eyes. 294 00:22:37,735 --> 00:22:40,700 Yeah, closing the eyes, the eyes are closed. 295 00:22:40,735 --> 00:22:42,065 And wait. 296 00:22:42,100 --> 00:22:44,765 Yes, wait for what? 297 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:48,665 Wait... for... the tooth fairy. 298 00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:55,400 Oh, yeah, the tooth fairy! What's a tooth fairy? 299 00:22:55,435 --> 00:22:57,165 - You don't know? - No. 300 00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:01,200 Well, maybe you'll figure it out by the time the music ends. 301 00:23:02,300 --> 00:23:06,300 Keep your eyes closed - tightly. 302 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,100 No peeking. 303 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,300 Oo, oh, oh, oh, 304 00:23:19,500 --> 00:23:20,465 Have you had enough? 305 00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:25,300 Enough? Hey, you got a pin baby, you don't get more enough than that. 306 00:23:25,335 --> 00:23:27,165 Did I win? 307 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,465 You not only won - darling, you were great. 308 00:23:30,500 --> 00:23:33,600 Lemme ask you a question - would you like a new outfit? 309 00:23:33,635 --> 00:23:34,565 Sure. 310 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,900 Come on into my office. I think I got a little number 311 00:23:37,935 --> 00:23:39,665 that's gonna fit you just perfectly. 312 00:23:39,700 --> 00:23:44,000 You got a wonderful future ahead of you sweetheart. Mine's all used up. 313 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:50,900 Remo! 314 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,500 What - what? 315 00:23:59,500 --> 00:24:02,900 Let me ask you something - can either of you bubble heads read? 316 00:24:02,935 --> 00:24:05,165 Yeah, we read good, Remo. 317 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,900 Oh, really? Well why don't you do me a favour 318 00:24:07,935 --> 00:24:11,817 and tell me what it says right there. 319 00:24:11,852 --> 00:24:15,700 It says: Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and 320 00:24:15,735 --> 00:24:16,865 Firearms! 321 00:24:16,900 --> 00:24:20,900 Oh, you're smart. Now, you ever hear of the ATF? 322 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:23,965 - No. - No. 323 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,200 The ATF is a government agency. 324 00:24:26,235 --> 00:24:28,267 And that's, er, bad? 325 00:24:28,302 --> 00:24:30,265 Oh yes, that's bad. 326 00:24:30,300 --> 00:24:33,500 It means that your boyfriend up there in the Ramses suite 327 00:24:33,535 --> 00:24:35,900 is a government agent. 328 00:24:35,935 --> 00:24:36,965 Oh. 329 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:42,500 Oh. So, it's back to working in the coffee shop for youse girls. Bye bye. 330 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,265 There's an ATF agent actually in the hotel. 331 00:24:53,300 --> 00:24:55,965 You're telling me that there's an ATF agent actually in the hotel? 332 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,700 Yeah, I don't know how he got in the hotel, but he's a Federal agent for sure. 333 00:24:59,735 --> 00:25:00,465 How sure? 334 00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:03,365 Well, he's got an ATF credit card. So... 335 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:07,900 what do you want me to do to this Federal agent, this Stanley Tweedle? 336 00:25:07,935 --> 00:25:10,400 - I want you to man the reception desk. - Oh, King. 337 00:25:10,435 --> 00:25:13,000 - Capice? - Capice. 338 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,465 Frankie, Joey, 339 00:25:17,500 --> 00:25:19,665 I want you to whack this guy. 340 00:25:19,700 --> 00:25:23,700 - I want you to whack him till he's dead. - Consider it done. 341 00:25:43,300 --> 00:25:47,300 Oh, yeah, come on. Sink your teeth into my meat and tie. 342 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:54,465 Oh, I like the sound of that, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. 343 00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:57,800 Can I open my eyes now? OK, I won't, I won't, I won't! 344 00:25:57,835 --> 00:26:00,800 So what does a tooth fairy do? 345 00:26:03,700 --> 00:26:07,700 Oh, the nipples! Oh, yes, that's good, that's good. 346 00:26:11,900 --> 00:26:15,900 Do me, do me, do me... 347 00:27:06,500 --> 00:27:07,500 Wait! 348 00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:22,000 What the hell are you doing with the bathrobe? Come on, take it off, 349 00:27:22,035 --> 00:27:24,365 you modest all of a sudden? 350 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:28,400 Hey, hey, snake head, rattle your cage. 351 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,065 Shut up! 352 00:27:31,100 --> 00:27:34,100 Ladies and gentlemen, for your gaming pleasure 353 00:27:34,135 --> 00:27:38,417 the King Tutt hotel is proud to present 354 00:27:38,452 --> 00:27:42,700 the queen of ancient Egypt... Cleopatra! 355 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:52,500 And for her challenger - fresh from a tour of duty 356 00:27:52,535 --> 00:27:57,400 on the bad side of Hades - the truly terrible Medusa! 357 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,965 She reminds me of a singer from the Fifties, I forget her name - 358 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,950 lovely woman though. OK, folks, this is a straight-up pick 'em, folks. 359 00:28:06,985 --> 00:28:10,900 You just dial the number on the screen and make yourself some dough. 360 00:28:11,300 --> 00:28:13,600 Who do you like? Who do you like? 361 00:28:24,900 --> 00:28:27,400 As soon as this chick takes a dive we're gonna make a bundle. 362 00:28:27,435 --> 00:28:29,000 Oh, yeah. 363 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,665 - This is fun! - Yeah, I can tell it's fun. 364 00:28:38,700 --> 00:28:41,400 Take off the wig, will you sweetheart? Gimme the snakes over here. 365 00:28:41,435 --> 00:28:43,467 You're going to Russia. 366 00:28:43,502 --> 00:28:45,465 I hope you get a fur robe. 367 00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:48,700 Cleopatra's next challenge, direct from Stalingrad, 368 00:28:48,735 --> 00:28:52,700 the totally fabulous Catreen the Great! 369 00:28:56,300 --> 00:28:57,465 Hey King, 370 00:28:57,500 --> 00:29:01,150 if Cleo wins again we're gonna go through the roof with the odds. 371 00:29:01,185 --> 00:29:04,800 All we have to do is convince her to take a dive and we hit big time. 372 00:29:04,835 --> 00:29:07,000 I love you. Ciao. 373 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,900 Hello? 374 00:29:18,300 --> 00:29:20,665 King, 375 00:29:20,700 --> 00:29:22,365 it's Frankie and Joey. 376 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,400 What about Frankie and Joey? 377 00:29:25,435 --> 00:29:28,400 Someone... they got whacked. 378 00:29:29,700 --> 00:29:32,900 - They're dead. - Was it this Tweedle? 379 00:29:32,935 --> 00:29:35,265 I don't know. 380 00:29:35,300 --> 00:29:37,900 Let me handle it. Let me whack Tweedle. 381 00:29:37,935 --> 00:29:38,565 No. 382 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,800 Come on, give me a chance. One chance to make you proud of me. 383 00:29:41,835 --> 00:29:42,865 Forget it, Remo. 384 00:29:42,900 --> 00:29:45,750 Joey was my cousin on my mother's side once removed. 385 00:29:45,785 --> 00:29:48,600 And Frankie, he was Jimmy's brother-in-law's nephew. 386 00:29:48,635 --> 00:29:51,400 It's family! I need this vendetta. 387 00:29:51,435 --> 00:29:52,965 No. 388 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,365 We're gonna hire a professional. 389 00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:58,200 Let me bring honour to the Tutti name. 390 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,665 Remo, 391 00:30:03,700 --> 00:30:05,900 you know this Tweedle character? 392 00:30:07,700 --> 00:30:13,400 You make sure he has a closed casket funeral. Capice? 393 00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:19,800 Capice. 394 00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:27,700 Hey, there's still time to get your bets down. Yowsa, yowsa. 395 00:30:27,735 --> 00:30:30,200 Cleopatra coming at ya. 396 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,265 Who's next? 397 00:30:45,300 --> 00:30:49,300 Hey, King, remember that guy, what the hell was his name? 398 00:30:49,700 --> 00:30:52,665 Grindypants, what? Or..., Organ...? 399 00:30:52,700 --> 00:30:55,950 Organgrinder, yeah, that's it, Organgrinder, remember him? 400 00:30:55,985 --> 00:30:59,165 Yeah, he killed the other guy. I think he's out of prison now. 401 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:06,100 See if he can make it here tonight, all right? Cleopatra's going bye bye. 402 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:11,200 Oh, baby, you were beautiful, beautiful. 403 00:31:24,100 --> 00:31:26,200 - Who is it? - Er,... flowers, sir. 404 00:31:26,235 --> 00:31:27,965 Compliments of the management. 405 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:32,000 I hate flowers and I hate the management, so just go away. 406 00:31:34,700 --> 00:31:38,265 - Who is it?! - Er,... room service. 407 00:31:38,300 --> 00:31:41,500 No way, pal - I already ordered room service once and it was less 408 00:31:41,535 --> 00:31:43,865 than satisfactory I can tell ya! 409 00:31:43,900 --> 00:31:47,000 Just go away, I got a good mind to complain. 410 00:31:51,700 --> 00:31:53,200 Hello? 411 00:31:56,100 --> 00:31:57,600 Hello? 412 00:32:02,500 --> 00:32:05,000 Kai, where are you?! 413 00:32:40,900 --> 00:32:43,600 Oh, Grinder, Grinder, come over here. Good to see you baby, 414 00:32:43,635 --> 00:32:45,165 glad you could make it. You're looking buff. 415 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:49,200 Put the wig on and take her out of her misery, OK? 416 00:32:50,900 --> 00:32:55,165 You've seen Cleopatra whack the Queen of Sheba with ease. 417 00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:59,300 Hey, she took out Medusa with one blow. And Catherine the Great - 418 00:32:59,335 --> 00:33:03,065 what she last, five seconds with her? The question is now, 419 00:33:03,100 --> 00:33:10,200 can Cleopatra handle the recently paroled Alexander of Macedonia? 420 00:33:10,235 --> 00:33:13,200 Right now the smart money is on Cleo, and if you're smart 421 00:33:13,235 --> 00:33:16,600 you'll get your bets in right now. 422 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,265 How much money we got on Cleo? 423 00:33:22,300 --> 00:33:24,465 - Two million, baby. - Oh, two million, 424 00:33:24,500 --> 00:33:29,000 we're gonna take a sea cruise! I'll let you oil my back, baby. 425 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:36,300 Let me talk to Louis - to Louis! 426 00:33:38,700 --> 00:33:43,800 Yeah, capice, capice to you, too. Of course she's gonna take a dive, 427 00:33:43,835 --> 00:33:47,800 yeah, yeah, yeah, badda bing, badda boom, don't worry about it. 428 00:34:06,700 --> 00:34:10,700 Cleo? Cleo, could you come over here for a minute please? 429 00:34:10,900 --> 00:34:11,665 Sure. 430 00:34:11,700 --> 00:34:13,750 I wanna, I wanna talk to you just for a second, honey. 431 00:34:13,785 --> 00:34:15,765 You know, you're doing great sweetheart, you really are, 432 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:19,800 we made a bundle on you tonight. But hey, nothing goes on forever, 433 00:34:19,835 --> 00:34:21,200 you know what I mean? You get me? 434 00:34:21,235 --> 00:34:22,065 Er... no. 435 00:34:22,100 --> 00:34:24,100 I mean, sometimes you gotta go down. 436 00:34:24,135 --> 00:34:25,200 What do you mean, go down? 437 00:34:25,235 --> 00:34:26,565 I mean gotta lose. 438 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,265 I don't wanna lose, I like winning! 439 00:34:28,300 --> 00:34:32,100 You know, nobody wants to... lose, but - you know, you gotta 440 00:34:32,135 --> 00:34:35,300 swallow your pride, you gotta take a dive, OK? 441 00:34:35,335 --> 00:34:37,600 Do you want me to lose, on purpose? 442 00:34:37,635 --> 00:34:39,500 In a nutshell, yeah. 443 00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:42,565 - Why? - Why? 444 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:45,000 Because freaking King Tutti said so, that's why. 445 00:34:45,035 --> 00:34:46,165 I don't want to. 446 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:47,700 - Oh, yes you do. - No, I don't. 447 00:34:47,735 --> 00:34:49,165 - Oh, yes you do. - No! 448 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,700 Oh, yes you do, unless you wanna get whacked. 449 00:34:51,735 --> 00:34:53,665 - What do you mean, whacked? - Whacked? 450 00:34:53,700 --> 00:34:57,300 I take a gun, I put a bullet in it, and put a hole in your freaking head. 451 00:34:57,335 --> 00:34:59,700 - Now you capice? - I'll think about it. 452 00:34:59,735 --> 00:35:01,365 Yeah, well, you better think quick, 453 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,400 because nobody thinks good with a hole in the head. 454 00:35:04,435 --> 00:35:05,200 Grrr. 455 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,065 What the hell is this? 456 00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:40,000 Come on, come on, rattle your cage! Hey, hey, watch yourself, 457 00:35:40,035 --> 00:35:41,900 come on, come on, come on. 458 00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:16,700 Hi, tooth fairy! 459 00:36:39,100 --> 00:36:40,965 Tutti's gonna kill me! 460 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:45,000 I told her take a dive, badda bing, badda boom, forget about it! 461 00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:54,800 Our new champeen - Cleopatra. 462 00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:01,150 What is it with this broad? 463 00:37:01,185 --> 00:37:03,800 I'm sorry. I tried to lose. 464 00:37:29,900 --> 00:37:32,165 Oh, I want this bitch. 465 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:36,200 I want this bitch in the ground. 466 00:37:57,900 --> 00:38:01,900 Hey! Hey, you! What are you, kitchen staff? 467 00:38:03,100 --> 00:38:05,200 Hey, I want you to do something for me. 468 00:38:05,235 --> 00:38:07,565 There's this bitch downstairs. 469 00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:11,600 I want you to whack her. I want you to whack her for me. 470 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,000 Oh, you ain't family. 471 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:30,800 No, no, - no, no, no, no. 472 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,900 Oh, Kai! Boy, am I glad to see you. 473 00:38:36,935 --> 00:38:37,665 Why? 474 00:38:37,700 --> 00:38:39,165 Why? Protection! 475 00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:41,500 There's a very tall very ugly somebody in this hotel 476 00:38:41,535 --> 00:38:42,865 and he is trying to kill everybody. 477 00:38:42,900 --> 00:38:45,600 - A former somebody. - What do you mean? 478 00:38:45,635 --> 00:38:48,265 I came across an empty coffin in this hotel. 479 00:38:48,300 --> 00:38:52,300 It belongs to a philosopher-poet I assassinated 4000 years ago. 480 00:38:52,700 --> 00:38:55,600 Heretics preserved his body and part of his brain in protective fluid 481 00:38:55,635 --> 00:38:58,400 that allows him for short periods to act as a sort of 482 00:38:58,435 --> 00:39:00,500 primitive killing machine. 483 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:02,565 Primitive? Hey, well, that sounds good. 484 00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:04,500 That means you can just do your Divine Assassin brace thing 485 00:39:04,535 --> 00:39:05,400 on him, right? 486 00:39:05,435 --> 00:39:05,965 No. 487 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:07,165 - No? - He is unkillable. 488 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:08,800 Unkillable? What are we gonna do now? 489 00:39:08,835 --> 00:39:11,117 - We can wait. - For what? 490 00:39:11,152 --> 00:39:13,365 For him to run out of fluid. 491 00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:17,400 It is not long-lasting, and he must constantly replenish it. 492 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:21,065 This inscription is a warning against opening the coffin. 493 00:39:21,100 --> 00:39:23,650 He must have been buried on this planet thousands of years ago 494 00:39:23,685 --> 00:39:26,200 for safekeeping by people who intended to return for him - 495 00:39:26,235 --> 00:39:28,000 but never did. 496 00:39:31,900 --> 00:39:35,365 Quick Kai, that's Xev! 497 00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:38,850 Hey, what the hell are ya doing there, Tiny? 498 00:39:38,885 --> 00:39:42,300 That's not Tiny, Ignaz. That's not the doorman. 499 00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:46,800 This is a security camera, watch yourself, you're on camera. 500 00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:50,165 That was a close one. 501 00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:52,700 You got something on your teeth, right there. 502 00:39:54,700 --> 00:39:56,800 Badda bing! 503 00:40:21,300 --> 00:40:23,465 Drago! 504 00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:25,165 I have killed mothers with their babies. 505 00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:28,000 I have killed proud young warriors and revolutionaries. 506 00:40:28,035 --> 00:40:29,765 - The coffin Xev, quick. - Yes. 507 00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:32,065 The fluid that keeps him going is in it. 508 00:40:32,100 --> 00:40:34,465 I have killed the pedantic, the pseudo-intellectual 509 00:40:34,500 --> 00:40:38,500 and on one occasion, a very self-important philosopher-poet. 510 00:40:55,500 --> 00:40:57,500 Running low on fuel, Drago? 511 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:14,400 Do you not see the irony, Drago? 512 00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:19,900 Once you were a mindless philosopher-poet, 513 00:41:19,935 --> 00:41:22,165 now you are a mindless killer. 514 00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:26,200 It is an irony that even you should appreciate. 515 00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:50,600 Crying night, crying night. The ears of a child. A cockatoo? 516 00:41:50,635 --> 00:41:54,365 The thunder cracks. 517 00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:56,400 Come on Xev, we gotta hide it. I think he saw us. 518 00:41:56,435 --> 00:42:04,400 Despair! Brutal whispers, weeping, weeping, 519 00:42:04,700 --> 00:42:08,700 weeping, weeping. 520 00:42:12,900 --> 00:42:16,900 I hope I am doing justice to your work, Drago. 521 00:42:20,500 --> 00:42:23,200 The bloated sun, 522 00:42:24,700 --> 00:42:29,900 a single grape, they silently mock our - 523 00:42:29,935 --> 00:42:32,900 Emp-ti-ness. 524 00:42:34,100 --> 00:42:38,100 Ha, ha, his fluid finally ran out. 525 00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:43,900 So, are you ready to go to the space shuttle now? 526 00:42:43,935 --> 00:42:46,365 Oh, yeah, right now. 527 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:50,300 That's too bad in a way. I wanted to hear the rest of the poem. 528 00:42:50,335 --> 00:42:52,800 Emptiness - er, a, b, c, d, e, f - femptiness, 529 00:42:52,835 --> 00:42:56,800 - gemptiness. - Oh, let's just go! 530 00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:08,800 Brutal whispers, weeping, weeping. 531 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,150 The bloated sun, 532 00:43:12,185 --> 00:43:14,265 a single grape, 533 00:43:14,300 --> 00:43:18,265 that silently mocks our emptiness. 534 00:43:18,300 --> 00:43:21,600 Hopefully no-one will find this for a very long time. 535 00:43:21,635 --> 00:43:22,965 What if someone does? 536 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:27,000 It's OK, Xev, it's a Type 13 planet. It doesn't have much time anyway. 537 00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:36,300 Emptiness, pemptiness, temptiness, exemptiness - 538 00:43:41,500 --> 00:43:45,500 Subtitles based on transcripts found on The Memory Catacombs 42008

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