Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:11,583 --> 00:00:14,667
Come on, it's just a word.
2
00:00:14,708 --> 00:00:16,500
Say it, already.
3
00:00:16,542 --> 00:00:17,625
Alright, you got this.
4
00:00:21,750 --> 00:00:27,083
I want your hot, throbbing...
5
00:00:27,083 --> 00:00:28,500
Ugh.
6
00:00:28,542 --> 00:00:31,167
Uh-uh. No. Gross.
7
00:00:31,208 --> 00:00:32,125
And painful.
8
00:00:32,167 --> 00:00:34,500
Who would ask for hot,
throbbing anything?
9
00:00:34,542 --> 00:00:36,208
Throbbing is what happens
to your finger
10
00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:37,792
when you slam it
in the car door.
11
00:00:39,333 --> 00:00:40,667
I want it now.
12
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:44,167
Your hot, throbbing...
13
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:49,833
Ok.
14
00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:52,875
Give it to me.
15
00:00:52,917 --> 00:00:58,792
And by "it", I mean I want
your hot, throbbing... nope!
16
00:00:58,833 --> 00:00:59,625
No!
17
00:00:59,667 --> 00:01:01,625
Not at all convincing!
18
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:03,167
God, Luce, it's a word.
19
00:01:03,208 --> 00:01:05,250
It's a word,
just say it already.
20
00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:06,750
Alright.
21
00:01:11,875 --> 00:01:15,417
I want your hot, throbbing...
22
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:18,583
For the love of god!
23
00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:21,375
Cock! Cock! Cock!
24
00:01:21,417 --> 00:01:22,500
Cock! Cock!
25
00:01:22,542 --> 00:01:24,042
Cock!
26
00:01:28,583 --> 00:01:34,500
Oh... um, my friend has this
farm and there's this rooster.
27
00:01:34,542 --> 00:01:35,792
Troublemaker.
28
00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:41,292
Alright.
29
00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:46,083
Well, that is a... sentence
that's just never gonna happen.
30
00:04:14,292 --> 00:04:16,417
Luce: Wait, what's he doing
with his hand?
31
00:04:16,417 --> 00:04:18,167
That actually feels good.
32
00:04:18,208 --> 00:04:20,083
So that was an accident.
33
00:04:20,083 --> 00:04:22,125
You're so... good to me.
34
00:04:25,417 --> 00:04:26,083
Hey.
35
00:04:26,083 --> 00:04:26,667
Hmm?
36
00:04:26,708 --> 00:04:27,542
Are we good?
37
00:04:27,583 --> 00:04:28,208
Yeah.
38
00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:28,750
You like that?
39
00:04:28,750 --> 00:04:29,250
Ok. Good.
40
00:04:29,292 --> 00:04:32,417
Ok, sexy thoughts.
41
00:04:32,417 --> 00:04:35,833
A cabana on a hot,
tropical beach.
42
00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:37,083
I'm getting a massage,
43
00:04:37,083 --> 00:04:42,417
which suddenly turns into
spontaneous, unbridled sex.
44
00:04:42,458 --> 00:04:43,750
With Steve Carell.
45
00:04:43,792 --> 00:04:46,750
Only like in his newer movies,
with silver hair.
46
00:04:46,792 --> 00:04:48,083
Yes!
47
00:04:48,125 --> 00:04:48,667
Yes!
48
00:04:48,708 --> 00:04:49,583
I'm coming!
49
00:04:49,625 --> 00:04:50,750
Yes!
50
00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:52,167
Wheat-free waffles!
51
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,167
Shit, did I just say
that out loud?
52
00:04:54,208 --> 00:04:55,583
Huh?
53
00:04:55,625 --> 00:04:56,750
Sorry.
54
00:04:56,792 --> 00:04:57,667
Just a second.
55
00:04:59,208 --> 00:05:00,708
That was what I forgot
at the store.
56
00:05:00,750 --> 00:05:02,583
I couldn't remember all day.
57
00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:05,667
No, no, no, no.
58
00:05:05,708 --> 00:05:06,333
It's good.
59
00:05:06,375 --> 00:05:08,792
My mind is completely free.
60
00:05:09,083 --> 00:05:10,750
I'm ready now.
61
00:05:13,542 --> 00:05:16,750
Yeah... I don't think you are.
62
00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:29,333
We should get a ceiling fan.
63
00:05:30,583 --> 00:05:32,125
Hey, what're you doing?
64
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,625
No- don't mess up my lists.
65
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:35,583
Why?
66
00:05:35,625 --> 00:05:37,250
It's not like you ever finish
any of them.
67
00:05:37,250 --> 00:05:38,083
That is not true.
68
00:05:38,083 --> 00:05:39,458
Just because you're
angry, don't-
69
00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:40,250
Ok, look.
70
00:05:40,292 --> 00:05:42,208
Most women, during sex,
you know,
71
00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:44,375
they say things like...
72
00:05:44,417 --> 00:05:47,083
I don't- like, "yes, yes,
give it to me good".
73
00:05:47,125 --> 00:05:50,417
Who says that?
74
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:51,250
People.
75
00:05:51,292 --> 00:05:52,792
People who you know?
76
00:05:52,833 --> 00:05:54,708
You honestly want me
to yell out,
77
00:05:54,750 --> 00:05:56,667
"Yes, yes, give it to me good"?
78
00:05:56,708 --> 00:06:00,083
Well, it would be better
than "wheat-free waffles".
79
00:06:00,125 --> 00:06:03,167
Why don't you just admit
that you're not into sex?
80
00:06:03,208 --> 00:06:05,625
I'm so not not into sex.
81
00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:07,750
You didn't even take off
your pyjamas!
82
00:06:07,792 --> 00:06:10,083
Yeah, well, they're comfortable!
83
00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:11,500
What're you doing?
84
00:06:11,542 --> 00:06:12,792
You gotta
be kidding me.
85
00:06:12,833 --> 00:06:15,750
I have work to do.
86
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:16,458
I'm on a deadline.
87
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:18,750
You work in the garage, alright?
88
00:06:18,750 --> 00:06:21,250
Testing video games!
89
00:06:24,583 --> 00:06:26,167
Don't judge me.
90
00:06:31,667 --> 00:06:33,250
Sorry, Mr. Bach.
91
00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:39,042
I need something with
a little more spirit.
92
00:06:43,625 --> 00:06:45,083
Great.
93
00:06:46,125 --> 00:06:47,417
Where is my cord?
94
00:07:11,708 --> 00:07:14,542
Oh my god, he's a regular.
95
00:07:18,708 --> 00:07:21,333
Don't stop!
96
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:27,667
Oh my- oh my... that
is a lot of vagina.
97
00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:30,667
Yes, yes, give it to me good!
98
00:07:30,708 --> 00:07:34,583
Oh my god, did she really
just say that?
99
00:07:36,375 --> 00:07:38,083
Thank you, sweetie.
100
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,208
I thought you were evolved.
101
00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:43,125
We met at a film festival,
for god's sake!
102
00:07:43,167 --> 00:07:44,250
What're you talking about?
103
00:07:44,292 --> 00:07:48,083
What I'm talking about is that.
104
00:07:48,083 --> 00:07:50,583
What is that?
105
00:07:50,625 --> 00:07:52,208
I don't know, a girl?
106
00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:53,083
No.
107
00:07:53,125 --> 00:07:54,083
I'm a girl.
108
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,500
That is a vixen.
109
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:57,125
Whatever.
110
00:07:57,167 --> 00:07:58,292
Excuse me?
111
00:07:58,333 --> 00:07:59,667
What, I'm not enough?
112
00:07:59,708 --> 00:08:00,667
Look, ok, yeah.
113
00:08:00,708 --> 00:08:03,750
I'm sorry you're upset,
but you kinda have this,
114
00:08:03,792 --> 00:08:08,167
like, irrational fear of
intimacy or anything
115
00:08:08,208 --> 00:08:09,792
that can't be put on a list.
116
00:08:09,833 --> 00:08:12,208
You are talking sensuality to me
as you are sitting there
117
00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:14,500
hacking heads off?
118
00:08:14,542 --> 00:08:15,583
Oh, is this funny to you?
119
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,208
Really?
120
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,542
Since when are you
a porn person?
121
00:08:22,583 --> 00:08:27,458
Well, I'm a guy,
so since always.
122
00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:31,750
Oh, see, that's bullshit.
123
00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:33,750
I just got killed
by crossfire again.
124
00:08:33,792 --> 00:08:35,625
How are you being so
nonchalant about this?
125
00:08:35,667 --> 00:08:36,583
In this day in age,
126
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:38,250
when women are finally
standing up to men
127
00:08:38,292 --> 00:08:40,125
who use sex as a tool
of oppression, you're-
128
00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:42,500
Woah, woah,
woah, woah, woah!
129
00:08:42,542 --> 00:08:44,792
I'm not oppressing anyone, ok?
130
00:08:44,833 --> 00:08:48,625
They put it out there,
guys pay for it, and girls,
131
00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:50,583
everyone's happy.
132
00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:53,583
Have... have you ever watched
a porn film?
133
00:08:53,625 --> 00:08:55,250
I think I just saw plenty,
134
00:08:55,292 --> 00:08:57,583
and I hardly think
that the word film applies,
135
00:08:57,625 --> 00:09:00,542
not when it degrades
the entire female species.
136
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:03,125
Yeah, see, I don't think so.
137
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,208
I think it's just a business.
138
00:09:05,250 --> 00:09:06,250
Oh.
139
00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:07,333
Oh, ok. I see.
140
00:09:07,375 --> 00:09:10,125
So it's just a collection of
highly-skilled workers
141
00:09:10,167 --> 00:09:11,500
providing a service.
142
00:09:11,542 --> 00:09:12,583
Yeah, exactly.
143
00:09:12,625 --> 00:09:16,625
And the best are banking
millions and the rest are
144
00:09:16,667 --> 00:09:22,625
compensated really well
for their... artistry.
145
00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:24,083
Artistry?
146
00:09:24,083 --> 00:09:25,500
Yeah.
147
00:09:25,542 --> 00:09:27,125
Mmmhmm. Yeah. Yes.
148
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,458
It's uh, it's kinda like you
with your violin.
149
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,417
Right?
150
00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:31,583
Is it so hard for you
to understand that,
151
00:09:31,583 --> 00:09:36,083
you know, this is how some
people express themselves?
152
00:09:36,083 --> 00:09:38,500
What I can't believe is that
you are attempting
153
00:09:38,542 --> 00:09:43,458
to draw a parallel
between what I do and this.
154
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,667
That's because
you're pornophobic.
155
00:09:45,708 --> 00:09:47,167
That's not even a word.
156
00:09:47,208 --> 00:09:49,083
You know, how uptight you are,
157
00:09:49,125 --> 00:09:51,667
it's kinda like your
whole life problem.
158
00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:53,458
No, even words are
too much for you.
159
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:54,083
We're done.
160
00:09:54,125 --> 00:09:55,667
Wait, no, we're not done.
161
00:09:55,708 --> 00:09:56,583
Lucy.
162
00:09:56,625 --> 00:09:57,417
Come here.
163
00:09:57,458 --> 00:09:58,375
Ow, Jesus. Come on.
164
00:09:58,417 --> 00:09:59,083
Ugh.
165
00:09:59,125 --> 00:09:59,625
Lucy, come back.
166
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:00,583
Hey! Wait!
167
00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:03,208
Just try saying something racy.
168
00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:04,000
Like what?
169
00:10:04,042 --> 00:10:06,667
Like, I don't know,
like... use
170
00:10:06,708 --> 00:10:09,708
"hot, throbbing cock"
convincingly in a sentence.
171
00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:11,292
Why would anyone do that?
172
00:10:11,333 --> 00:10:13,250
And by the way, since when
do we spy on each other?
173
00:10:13,292 --> 00:10:14,125
I mean, spying?
174
00:10:14,167 --> 00:10:14,667
That's not cool.
175
00:10:14,708 --> 00:10:16,500
I wasn't spying!
176
00:10:16,542 --> 00:10:18,458
And I don't know
who you are anymore.
177
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:21,167
Yeah, well I don't know
you worse!
178
00:10:22,583 --> 00:10:25,375
Well, I'm not gonna compete
with all of that.
179
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:28,125
So... so you need to decide.
180
00:10:28,167 --> 00:10:30,500
It's me or the porn!
181
00:10:33,375 --> 00:10:34,250
Really?
182
00:10:34,292 --> 00:10:36,583
That's what you consider
an essential item?
183
00:10:36,625 --> 00:10:38,750
He's autographed.
184
00:10:39,792 --> 00:10:41,292
Come on, bud.
185
00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:43,500
Don't- don't crease
and don't break.
186
00:10:43,542 --> 00:10:46,083
Alright, it's just
you and me now.
187
00:10:58,208 --> 00:11:00,125
I hope you get that stick
out of your ass!
188
00:11:00,167 --> 00:11:01,250
Why?
189
00:11:01,292 --> 00:11:03,458
So you can use it
on yourself?!
190
00:11:08,375 --> 00:11:09,167
Hi, Mr. Glassell.
191
00:11:09,208 --> 00:11:10,417
Good morning.
192
00:11:10,458 --> 00:11:12,375
It was.
193
00:11:18,583 --> 00:11:19,250
Where are you?
194
00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:19,750
You're late.
195
00:11:19,792 --> 00:11:20,750
You're never late.
196
00:11:20,792 --> 00:11:21,583
I'm worried.
197
00:11:21,583 --> 00:11:23,417
Should I be worried?
198
00:11:31,667 --> 00:11:32,333
I'm coming.
199
00:11:32,375 --> 00:11:33,458
Sorry.
200
00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:38,458
Ok, so sorry.
201
00:11:39,292 --> 00:11:40,500
Where have you been?
202
00:11:40,542 --> 00:11:42,083
The bride's about
to start trotting up.
203
00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:43,292
Sorry.
204
00:11:44,417 --> 00:11:45,167
A bride on a horse.
205
00:11:45,208 --> 00:11:46,375
What could go wrong?
206
00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:48,417
Play.
207
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:18,250
Hello there, Mr. Best Man.
208
00:12:18,875 --> 00:12:20,333
Oh, no, that's actually
my friend Grant.
209
00:12:20,375 --> 00:12:22,292
I think he's just a groomsman.
210
00:12:25,417 --> 00:12:27,292
Matrimony.
211
00:12:28,875 --> 00:12:31,292
The commemoration of
an unshakable bond.
212
00:12:33,875 --> 00:12:35,625
Oh, dear me.
213
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:38,375
Oh my- oh my god.
214
00:12:38,417 --> 00:12:39,500
Yeah, no, this wedding
is awesome.
215
00:12:39,542 --> 00:12:40,583
That could not
have been the plan.
216
00:12:42,792 --> 00:12:43,833
Oh gosh.
217
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:47,583
Is that horse poo?
218
00:12:47,625 --> 00:12:49,042
God, it smells.
219
00:12:50,458 --> 00:12:51,625
Pretend it's not there.
220
00:12:52,167 --> 00:12:55,667
Oh, she's gonna remember
this day, isn't she?
221
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,542
You wanted the horse, ok?
222
00:12:57,583 --> 00:13:00,083
Well, if she cancels she still
has to pay us, right?
223
00:13:00,125 --> 00:13:01,750
Yes, especially because it was
Grant who referred us
224
00:13:01,792 --> 00:13:03,042
for the job.
225
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:05,458
I just- I'm sorry, I can't get
over how he is so good-looking
226
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:07,208
and you never told me about him.
227
00:13:07,250 --> 00:13:08,500
You don't date actual adults.
228
00:13:08,542 --> 00:13:09,458
Kale?
229
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:10,667
He's an adult.
230
00:13:10,708 --> 00:13:12,667
He picks you up on a skateboard.
231
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:13,542
It's ok, everyone.
232
00:13:13,583 --> 00:13:14,583
I'm ok.
233
00:13:14,833 --> 00:13:16,417
Why are you giving my dude
such a hard
234
00:13:16,417 --> 00:13:17,333
time when this one over here,
235
00:13:17,375 --> 00:13:20,250
she's sleeping on Captain
America sheets.
236
00:13:21,375 --> 00:13:22,208
Lucy, are you alright?
237
00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:22,750
Are you crying?
238
00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:23,667
I was just kidding.
239
00:13:23,708 --> 00:13:26,583
Yeah, it was just a joke
about the sheets.
240
00:13:26,875 --> 00:13:28,375
Jeff left me.
241
00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:30,625
He moved out.
242
00:13:31,542 --> 00:13:33,333
Are you ok?
243
00:13:33,375 --> 00:13:35,292
I'm so sorry, Luce,
that's terrible.
244
00:13:43,292 --> 00:13:44,667
Ok, now.
245
00:13:44,708 --> 00:13:45,625
Where were we?
246
00:13:45,667 --> 00:13:47,292
We're going to get married now.
247
00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:49,125
Yeah.
248
00:13:57,417 --> 00:13:59,625
I don't know,
it's all such a blur.
249
00:13:59,667 --> 00:14:00,500
Actually, no.
250
00:14:00,542 --> 00:14:02,250
It started while
we were having sex, and-
251
00:14:02,292 --> 00:14:03,833
Ok.
252
00:14:03,875 --> 00:14:06,417
Is that why you guys fought?
253
00:14:06,417 --> 00:14:09,417
I remembered an item
off of my grocery list, so-
254
00:14:09,417 --> 00:14:11,083
Oh, honey.
255
00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:13,250
How do you expect to survive
marriage week after week,
256
00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:14,417
year after year?
257
00:14:14,458 --> 00:14:19,500
Sex with the same person in
the same order for 27 years.
258
00:14:19,542 --> 00:14:21,625
Well, until you find yourself
one day dressing up for the guy
259
00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:23,625
who sprays for bugs.
260
00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:25,500
Well, how do you expect
to survive all that
261
00:14:25,542 --> 00:14:26,708
if you can't focus now?
262
00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:31,417
I might have focus issues
but he is into porn, alright?
263
00:14:31,458 --> 00:14:32,417
It's disgusting!
264
00:14:32,417 --> 00:14:35,292
It was all over his computer,
he is totally-
265
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:36,583
A man?
266
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:39,333
All men look at dirty pictures,
married or not.
267
00:14:39,375 --> 00:14:41,333
It's- it's how they maintain
their vigour.
268
00:14:41,375 --> 00:14:42,167
Right, Paul?
269
00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:43,250
Well, it's-
270
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:45,375
When men start declining
sexually by the age of 18.
271
00:14:45,417 --> 00:14:47,375
Once they hit 30
it's a ski slope.
272
00:14:47,417 --> 00:14:49,083
I beg your pardon.
273
00:14:49,083 --> 00:14:50,500
Except for Paul.
274
00:14:50,542 --> 00:14:52,208
Who is, I'm sure,
a sexual wonder.
275
00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:54,083
Didn't your girlfriend leave
you for a woman, though?
276
00:14:54,083 --> 00:14:54,917
Ok, easy.
277
00:14:54,917 --> 00:14:56,542
Wait, does this mean
you have porn?
278
00:14:56,583 --> 00:14:57,083
Hmm?
279
00:14:57,125 --> 00:14:58,375
And go to strip clubs?
280
00:14:58,417 --> 00:14:59,375
No, I do not go
to strip clubs.
281
00:14:59,417 --> 00:15:00,375
Ever?
282
00:15:00,417 --> 00:15:01,625
I have, but it's not like I do.
283
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:03,250
Do you use the internet?
284
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:03,792
Define "use".
285
00:15:03,833 --> 00:15:04,625
What about prostitutes?
286
00:15:04,667 --> 00:15:05,708
No, not the ones
who do it for crack.
287
00:15:05,750 --> 00:15:08,250
I mean like the ones you go
to that thing in Vegas
288
00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:09,250
that I've seen on HBO.
289
00:15:09,292 --> 00:15:10,208
Do you know what?
I'm out.
290
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:11,083
I knew it.
291
00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:12,250
Hello.
292
00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:13,625
Ask me about sex.
293
00:15:13,667 --> 00:15:15,250
I'm right here.
294
00:15:15,292 --> 00:15:16,208
No.
295
00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:17,542
Your enthusiasm is really
un-relatable.
296
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:18,417
Oh, come on.
297
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,333
I got this whole library
of cliterature.
298
00:15:20,375 --> 00:15:21,083
You can just-
299
00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:22,292
What?
300
00:15:22,333 --> 00:15:25,083
Books you diddle to, babe.
301
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,000
Please, girl.
302
00:15:26,042 --> 00:15:28,250
Tell me that you masturbate,
at least.
303
00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:30,250
No.
304
00:15:30,292 --> 00:15:32,083
This is not about me, alright?
305
00:15:32,125 --> 00:15:33,583
This is about my
boyfriend leaving
306
00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:36,750
because I think being a pervert
is really inappropriate.
307
00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:43,125
I also have blindfolds,
handcuffs, vibrators...
308
00:15:45,208 --> 00:15:46,292
Priscilla has them, too!
309
00:15:46,333 --> 00:15:48,375
Oh, the buzz buzz,
not the rest of it.
310
00:15:48,417 --> 00:15:49,292
You do?
311
00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:50,292
It's called a personal massager.
312
00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:51,625
I got it at Brookestone.
313
00:15:51,667 --> 00:15:53,458
Really?
314
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:54,458
Oh.
315
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:58,250
Well... but you have Stanley.
316
00:15:58,292 --> 00:16:00,583
Vibrators are necessary,
my dear.
317
00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:02,500
Because life is short
318
00:16:02,542 --> 00:16:05,750
and explaining things
to men is long.
319
00:16:26,583 --> 00:16:28,708
Sex to do list.
320
00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:32,208
Number one.
Watch 25 porn films.
321
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:35,542
Number two.
Go to a sex store.
322
00:16:35,583 --> 00:16:38,417
Number three.
Read cliterature.
323
00:16:38,417 --> 00:16:40,625
Number four.
Visit strip club.
324
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,250
Number five.
Sex toy party.
325
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:43,792
Number six.
Sex seminar.
326
00:16:43,833 --> 00:16:45,333
Number seven.
Test vibrators.
327
00:16:45,375 --> 00:16:47,583
Number eight. Internet porn,
view some.
328
00:16:47,583 --> 00:16:49,750
Number nine.
Consult a sex expert.
329
00:16:49,750 --> 00:16:51,542
Number 10.
Brothel, visit.
330
00:16:51,583 --> 00:16:54,083
Number 11.
Meet a porn star.
331
00:16:54,125 --> 00:16:55,333
Number 12...
332
00:16:55,375 --> 00:16:59,250
Use "hot, throbbing cock"
convincingly in a sentence.
333
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:00,583
There.
334
00:17:00,625 --> 00:17:05,167
And I can even check
the last one off right now.
335
00:17:11,417 --> 00:17:13,750
For the love of god, cock!
336
00:17:13,750 --> 00:17:16,250
Cock! Cock! Cock!
337
00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:17,667
Cock! Cock.
338
00:17:17,708 --> 00:17:19,250
I want your cock!
339
00:17:20,667 --> 00:17:22,167
Well done.
340
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:24,333
Cock.
341
00:17:41,542 --> 00:17:43,042
God!
342
00:17:45,750 --> 00:17:46,583
Hey!
343
00:17:46,583 --> 00:17:48,083
Woah!
344
00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:50,833
Oh, Grant, you gotta go
check out the ballroom, man.
345
00:17:50,875 --> 00:17:52,583
The bridal party's twerkin'.
346
00:17:54,250 --> 00:17:54,667
Woah.
347
00:17:54,708 --> 00:17:55,292
You're kidding.
348
00:17:55,333 --> 00:17:56,542
Ah, ah!
349
00:17:58,875 --> 00:18:00,250
Ugh!
350
00:18:01,750 --> 00:18:03,417
Oh my god,
are you serious?
351
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:05,375
Hello?
352
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:07,250
I can't believe you
would do this to me.
353
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:07,833
What, Jeff?
354
00:18:07,875 --> 00:18:09,625
I'm not enough for you?
355
00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:11,042
Ugh!
356
00:18:14,458 --> 00:18:15,792
Everything alright in there?
357
00:18:17,083 --> 00:18:18,625
Coming in.
358
00:18:26,792 --> 00:18:27,458
You alright, love?
359
00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:29,250
You want me to get the doctor?
360
00:18:30,292 --> 00:18:31,083
What?
361
00:18:31,083 --> 00:18:32,125
Why- no.
362
00:18:32,167 --> 00:18:33,125
What, because
I'm on the floor?
363
00:18:33,167 --> 00:18:34,083
No.
364
00:18:34,083 --> 00:18:35,083
No.
365
00:18:35,083 --> 00:18:36,083
No, no, no.
366
00:18:36,125 --> 00:18:37,125
I'm just medicating.
367
00:18:37,167 --> 00:18:38,083
Tating.
368
00:18:38,125 --> 00:18:40,500
Meditating.
369
00:18:40,542 --> 00:18:42,750
I just heard crying
or yelling.
370
00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:43,750
Chanting.
371
00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:44,500
Chanting?
372
00:18:44,542 --> 00:18:45,417
Yeah.
373
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,458
Yeah?
374
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,083
Just coming to check to make
sure everything's fine?
375
00:18:49,125 --> 00:18:50,375
Yeah.
376
00:18:50,417 --> 00:18:53,208
No, I always do like a little
chant for the gride and broom.
377
00:18:53,250 --> 00:18:56,083
Before the first dance.
378
00:18:56,125 --> 00:18:59,083
How do you mean?
379
00:18:59,083 --> 00:19:02,167
Oh, you know,
like a chant.
380
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:04,458
Yeah, no, I don't.
381
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,125
Yeah, just sort of...
382
00:19:06,958 --> 00:19:15,750
Close my eyes and go
383
00:19:15,792 --> 00:19:20,750
Chanting...
384
00:19:20,792 --> 00:19:22,625
Which obviously
means something.
385
00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:23,417
Unity.
386
00:19:23,458 --> 00:19:24,417
Yeah.
387
00:19:24,417 --> 00:19:29,208
Yeah. It means unity
in that they're now one.
388
00:19:29,250 --> 00:19:31,375
And yet they're two.
389
00:19:31,417 --> 00:19:35,083
So, really it's about being
strong enough
390
00:19:35,083 --> 00:19:39,417
to make one one
out of two ones.
391
00:19:39,458 --> 00:19:41,625
And yet still be two.
392
00:19:41,667 --> 00:19:42,458
Yeah.
393
00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:44,292
Makes sense.
394
00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:46,333
Totally get it.
395
00:19:46,375 --> 00:19:47,250
You do?
396
00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:48,500
Yeah.
397
00:19:48,542 --> 00:19:51,750
It's... like a building.
398
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:53,583
It's only as strong
as its weakest pillar.
399
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:55,583
Yeah, but is that true?
400
00:19:55,583 --> 00:19:58,167
Because it seems to me that
if you have enough pillars,
401
00:19:58,208 --> 00:20:00,083
like say you're the Acropolis,
402
00:20:00,125 --> 00:20:03,667
I think you could get away
with one crappy pillar.
403
00:20:03,708 --> 00:20:04,750
Sure.
404
00:20:04,792 --> 00:20:10,375
Except for earthquakes,
hurricanes, strong winds...
405
00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:11,208
Aliens.
406
00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:13,083
Well, we can't do much
about that.
407
00:20:13,125 --> 00:20:15,083
But you make a good point.
408
00:20:15,125 --> 00:20:17,292
One in which I happen
to believe in.
409
00:20:18,375 --> 00:20:20,792
Uh... what- what point
is that?
410
00:20:20,833 --> 00:20:24,083
Well, you can't be useful
in a two
411
00:20:24,083 --> 00:20:27,083
until you figure yourself
out as a one.
412
00:20:28,583 --> 00:20:29,583
Hmm.
413
00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:32,083
Cocktail?
414
00:20:32,125 --> 00:20:33,750
Oh, I'm fine, thanks.
415
00:20:33,750 --> 00:20:35,083
Well, here's to me.
416
00:20:35,083 --> 00:20:36,458
That was brilliant.
417
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:37,375
But you're right.
418
00:20:37,417 --> 00:20:38,750
No time for cocktails.
419
00:20:38,750 --> 00:20:46,417
The two ones must waltz
so this one one must play.
420
00:20:46,417 --> 00:20:47,542
Ok.
421
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:53,083
Alrighty.
422
00:20:53,083 --> 00:20:54,333
Hey.
423
00:20:54,375 --> 00:20:56,417
Don't you need this?
424
00:20:57,875 --> 00:21:00,500
Or you chant the waltz, too?
425
00:21:00,542 --> 00:21:02,333
Sometimes.
426
00:21:16,583 --> 00:21:18,083
I'm not pornophobic.
427
00:21:22,375 --> 00:21:23,833
All men look at dirty pictures.
428
00:21:23,875 --> 00:21:27,083
Oh, Jeff.
429
00:21:27,083 --> 00:21:29,417
Yes, yes, give it to me good.
430
00:21:29,458 --> 00:21:31,750
You're pornophobic.
431
00:21:31,750 --> 00:21:35,375
I cannot drink her blood,
she's pornophobic.
432
00:21:35,417 --> 00:21:36,583
Am I not enough?
433
00:21:36,625 --> 00:21:39,417
Looks like she's suffering
from stage four pornophobia.
434
00:21:39,417 --> 00:21:41,750
Say something racy.
435
00:21:41,750 --> 00:21:43,250
It's a word.
436
00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:44,583
Just say it already.
437
00:21:44,625 --> 00:21:45,833
Pornophobic.
438
00:21:45,875 --> 00:21:46,833
Jeff left me.
439
00:21:46,875 --> 00:21:48,583
Pornophobic.
440
00:21:48,583 --> 00:21:51,750
Today we gather here
to remember Lucy Neal,
441
00:21:51,792 --> 00:21:56,083
who died alone from pornophobia.
442
00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:59,458
She died in the house she
inherited from her grandmother
443
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:03,667
that she was only able to
fill with unfinished lists,
444
00:22:03,708 --> 00:22:04,750
not love.
445
00:22:04,792 --> 00:22:06,708
You're pornophobic!
446
00:22:25,625 --> 00:22:26,625
Ok.
447
00:22:32,875 --> 00:22:35,208
Sexpressions of Lust?
448
00:22:35,250 --> 00:22:36,625
Please.
449
00:22:42,375 --> 00:22:45,292
Madame Mischief's
Boudoir Secrets.
450
00:22:45,333 --> 00:22:47,375
Maybe it's a historical fiction?
451
00:22:47,417 --> 00:22:49,583
And who doesn't like secrets?
452
00:22:50,250 --> 00:22:52,750
Better get one more for back-up.
453
00:22:53,875 --> 00:22:56,417
Bad Sally.
454
00:22:56,417 --> 00:22:58,292
That can't be right.
455
00:23:32,083 --> 00:23:33,417
Oh god.
456
00:23:50,792 --> 00:23:52,583
Faylene springs from the house
457
00:23:52,583 --> 00:23:55,250
as Michele passionately
gives chase.
458
00:23:55,250 --> 00:23:57,417
Running for her life, Michele
grabs Faylene's wrist
459
00:23:57,417 --> 00:24:02,667
and twirls her until he backs
her into an erect pillar.
460
00:24:02,708 --> 00:24:04,583
He could almost taste
her ruby lips
461
00:24:04,625 --> 00:24:09,625
but Faylene thrusts her knee
into Michele, spins him around.
462
00:24:09,667 --> 00:24:10,667
Seizing the moment,
463
00:24:10,708 --> 00:24:12,292
Faylene pulls out a hidden
pistol sheathed
464
00:24:12,333 --> 00:24:15,542
on her thigh and pulls it
up to his chin.
465
00:24:17,583 --> 00:24:19,208
And then stops.
466
00:24:26,542 --> 00:24:28,625
Michele takes one strong finger
467
00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:30,583
and slowly drags
the pistol downwards.
468
00:24:30,625 --> 00:24:32,583
Faylene watches in wonder
as the cold steel surrenders
469
00:24:32,583 --> 00:24:35,042
to its final destination.
470
00:24:35,500 --> 00:24:37,042
Michele's manhood.
471
00:24:38,083 --> 00:24:42,250
Michele walks his finger across
the barrel and cocks the gun.
472
00:24:42,292 --> 00:24:45,625
Faylene knows what she wants
and she decides to take it.
473
00:24:59,292 --> 00:25:01,083
Whew.
474
00:25:13,250 --> 00:25:14,583
Salt shaker is done.
475
00:25:14,625 --> 00:25:16,583
I can check that off my list.
476
00:25:27,542 --> 00:25:29,542
Hello.
477
00:25:29,583 --> 00:25:33,667
We have chocolate,
mimosas, tissues, sympathy.
478
00:25:33,708 --> 00:25:35,250
Wait, why do you look
so good?
479
00:25:35,250 --> 00:25:36,500
Where did you get
those jeans?
480
00:25:36,542 --> 00:25:37,125
No reason.
481
00:25:37,167 --> 00:25:37,792
Nowhere.
482
00:25:37,833 --> 00:25:39,708
And pity's not why I called.
483
00:25:39,750 --> 00:25:41,458
I told you we need
When Harry Met Sally.
484
00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:42,333
Mmmhmm.
485
00:25:42,375 --> 00:25:43,583
You do chocolates,
I'm on cocktails.
486
00:25:43,583 --> 00:25:44,625
No, really.
487
00:25:44,667 --> 00:25:46,125
I'm fine.
488
00:25:46,167 --> 00:25:47,083
I am.
489
00:25:47,125 --> 00:25:48,625
For, I have renewed life purpose
in the form
490
00:25:48,667 --> 00:25:51,375
of a research project
with which I need your help.
491
00:25:52,417 --> 00:25:53,250
She said research.
492
00:25:53,292 --> 00:25:54,625
She called me for research.
493
00:25:54,667 --> 00:25:55,417
You're losing it.
494
00:25:57,458 --> 00:26:00,625
We're doing number two and the
train is leaving in one minute.
495
00:26:03,125 --> 00:26:06,250
Guys, do you think
I'm gonna need this?
496
00:26:07,583 --> 00:26:09,208
Best break-up ever.
497
00:26:09,250 --> 00:26:10,750
Oh god.
498
00:26:20,417 --> 00:26:24,750
This is your Nissan Leaf,
this is your Mercedes C Class,
499
00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:30,792
and this is the Maserati
of vibrators.
500
00:26:30,833 --> 00:26:35,625
A serious piece of equipment for
only the most experienced user.
501
00:26:36,125 --> 00:26:37,208
Oh.
502
00:26:37,250 --> 00:26:39,083
Sold.
503
00:26:40,083 --> 00:26:43,458
Using it could desensitize
you to men forever.
504
00:26:43,750 --> 00:26:45,250
I'll take one.
505
00:26:52,750 --> 00:26:53,625
Hey, Luce!
506
00:26:53,667 --> 00:26:55,708
I found something for ya.
507
00:26:56,417 --> 00:26:58,542
He doesn't say
irritating things,
508
00:26:58,583 --> 00:27:02,250
he's a feminist, doesn't watch
football, or fart.
509
00:27:02,250 --> 00:27:04,542
Well, none of them do at first.
510
00:27:13,333 --> 00:27:17,250
Can I help you
with that cock ring?
511
00:27:17,250 --> 00:27:18,250
No.
512
00:27:18,250 --> 00:27:19,250
No, I got this.
513
00:27:19,250 --> 00:27:20,750
I was just checking...
514
00:27:21,667 --> 00:27:23,083
Sure.
515
00:27:29,750 --> 00:27:31,458
Everything alright over there?
516
00:27:31,917 --> 00:27:36,458
Sorry, just um...
looking for...
517
00:27:38,250 --> 00:27:39,708
for a Mother's Day gift.
518
00:27:39,750 --> 00:27:40,833
Oh.
519
00:27:40,875 --> 00:27:42,750
You know, I was wondering
what a nice girl like you
520
00:27:42,750 --> 00:27:44,542
was doing in a place
like this.
521
00:27:44,583 --> 00:27:47,167
I could ask you
the same thing.
522
00:27:47,208 --> 00:27:48,625
Go ahead.
523
00:27:50,875 --> 00:27:54,750
What's a nice girl like you
doing in a place like this?
524
00:27:55,417 --> 00:27:56,375
Oh...
525
00:27:59,458 --> 00:28:00,417
Oh!
526
00:28:00,417 --> 00:28:01,333
Busy day you got there.
527
00:28:01,375 --> 00:28:02,167
Oh-
528
00:28:02,208 --> 00:28:03,208
Uh, it's amazing
you have the time
529
00:28:03,250 --> 00:28:07,708
with all the violin playing
and the chanting.
530
00:28:07,750 --> 00:28:09,125
Of course you remember me.
531
00:28:09,167 --> 00:28:11,125
It's not every day I run
into a beautiful girl
532
00:28:11,167 --> 00:28:14,417
with such a propensity
for crouching.
533
00:28:15,292 --> 00:28:18,542
Did he actually just use
the word "propensity"?
534
00:28:21,083 --> 00:28:22,458
Oh hey.
535
00:28:23,250 --> 00:28:24,750
Adopted this puppy.
536
00:28:25,625 --> 00:28:27,417
And breakfast is ready.
537
00:28:28,583 --> 00:28:30,500
And the dishes are done.
538
00:28:31,833 --> 00:28:34,333
Hey, you're the best man
from the wedding
539
00:28:34,375 --> 00:28:35,667
with the pooping horse?
540
00:28:35,708 --> 00:28:38,250
Oh, yeah, I was just
a groomsman.
541
00:28:38,250 --> 00:28:40,208
Oh, well, I'm Nessa.
542
00:28:40,250 --> 00:28:41,667
I was a part of the quartet.
543
00:28:41,708 --> 00:28:43,500
Oh, yeah. You guys
were great.
544
00:28:43,542 --> 00:28:45,167
Thank you.
545
00:28:45,208 --> 00:28:46,792
I play the cello.
546
00:28:46,833 --> 00:28:47,833
Um, yeah.
547
00:28:47,875 --> 00:28:50,333
It's, you know, the big one
between your legs?
548
00:28:50,375 --> 00:28:53,250
Lucy over here,
she plays the violin.
549
00:28:53,250 --> 00:28:55,458
So it's Lucy, is it?
550
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:57,667
So fancy meeting you here.
551
00:28:57,708 --> 00:29:00,167
What're you doing?
552
00:29:00,208 --> 00:29:02,292
Oh yeah, um, good question.
553
00:29:02,333 --> 00:29:04,083
I'm looking for a Mother's
Day gift.
554
00:29:04,083 --> 00:29:06,083
Oh, really?
555
00:29:06,125 --> 00:29:07,417
Me too.
556
00:29:07,417 --> 00:29:11,167
I mean, I would never be here
for myself.
557
00:29:12,375 --> 00:29:13,792
Or would I?
558
00:29:13,833 --> 00:29:15,083
Nessa.
559
00:29:15,083 --> 00:29:18,083
Uh, I'm actually
an architect.
560
00:29:18,125 --> 00:29:19,375
Paul Goodwin works at my firm.
561
00:29:19,417 --> 00:29:20,583
Right.
562
00:29:20,625 --> 00:29:24,458
Yeah, I vaguely remember him
mentioning something like that.
563
00:29:24,500 --> 00:29:26,375
I'm ah, working on
a job upstairs
564
00:29:26,417 --> 00:29:27,667
to reconfigure
the office space.
565
00:29:27,708 --> 00:29:28,917
Oh.
566
00:29:28,917 --> 00:29:30,667
Not nearly as interesting as
what's going on on that list.
567
00:29:30,708 --> 00:29:31,500
Oh, no.
568
00:29:31,542 --> 00:29:35,417
This is purely a
research project.
569
00:29:35,417 --> 00:29:36,250
Yeah, honestly
I can't help it.
570
00:29:36,292 --> 00:29:41,250
I went to Harvard
so I'm research-y.
571
00:29:41,292 --> 00:29:42,292
Actually, that's where
I met Paul.
572
00:29:42,333 --> 00:29:43,417
Really?
573
00:29:43,458 --> 00:29:46,375
You're using the H-bomb
on the best man?
574
00:29:46,417 --> 00:29:47,167
I just can't.
575
00:29:47,208 --> 00:29:48,167
I'm gonna go talk
to Priscilla.
576
00:29:48,208 --> 00:29:50,375
And wha the hell is up
with your lips, girl?
577
00:29:53,625 --> 00:29:55,458
I'm Grant.
578
00:29:55,500 --> 00:29:57,083
Who works here?
579
00:29:57,583 --> 00:29:59,250
Did I hear you say you
work here?
580
00:30:00,667 --> 00:30:02,667
Why, yes he does.
581
00:30:04,333 --> 00:30:06,417
So does she.
582
00:30:06,417 --> 00:30:08,792
I just wanna find out
if this works.
583
00:30:09,250 --> 00:30:13,375
Actually, sir, I am very
familiar with this product.
584
00:30:13,417 --> 00:30:15,292
It's one of my favourites.
585
00:30:15,333 --> 00:30:18,208
In fact, I've got it on
right now.
586
00:30:18,583 --> 00:30:20,333
What do you mean,
you're wearing it now?
587
00:30:20,375 --> 00:30:21,750
On what?
588
00:30:21,792 --> 00:30:23,417
On my lips.
589
00:30:23,458 --> 00:30:24,667
You put it on your lips?
590
00:30:24,708 --> 00:30:29,542
Uh, Luce, I don't think you put
erection cream on your lips.
591
00:30:30,250 --> 00:30:31,417
Oh my god.
592
00:30:33,083 --> 00:30:34,250
Oh.
593
00:30:34,750 --> 00:30:36,292
Excuse me?
594
00:30:36,333 --> 00:30:38,500
Do these come in extra large?
595
00:30:43,125 --> 00:30:46,125
Got you some ice
from the cafe.
596
00:30:46,167 --> 00:30:47,458
Thanks.
597
00:30:49,417 --> 00:30:55,250
Yeah, I thought your lips
looked a little...
598
00:30:55,292 --> 00:30:57,375
You got a chant for
this sort of thing?
599
00:30:58,542 --> 00:30:59,750
Woah.
600
00:31:02,875 --> 00:31:04,458
Can I have your number?
601
00:31:05,250 --> 00:31:06,375
You want my number?
602
00:31:06,417 --> 00:31:07,708
Yeah.
603
00:31:09,583 --> 00:31:10,792
Wait, really?
604
00:31:10,833 --> 00:31:13,375
I have a gig you might
be interested in playing.
605
00:31:14,167 --> 00:31:15,583
That's awesome.
606
00:31:16,250 --> 00:31:19,208
I'll um, I'll wait out here.
607
00:31:23,750 --> 00:31:24,792
Bye.
608
00:31:43,417 --> 00:31:46,417
So his dad co-chairs this annual
insurance commissioner's dinner
609
00:31:46,417 --> 00:31:48,333
and he wants you and me
to walk around
610
00:31:48,375 --> 00:31:50,250
and do the wandering
minstrel thing.
611
00:31:50,292 --> 00:31:51,667
First the wedding
and now this?
612
00:31:51,708 --> 00:31:53,167
Is he your new booking agent?
613
00:31:53,208 --> 00:31:55,125
Excuse me, why not all of us?
614
00:31:55,167 --> 00:31:58,125
Uh, I don't know, but you did
make it a point to tell him
615
00:31:58,167 --> 00:31:59,833
that your legs are pretty
occupied while you play.
616
00:32:00,750 --> 00:32:01,667
Will he be there?
617
00:32:01,708 --> 00:32:03,083
He didn't say.
618
00:32:03,125 --> 00:32:06,167
So, with the exception
of the H-bomb incident,
619
00:32:06,208 --> 00:32:08,167
and putting erection cream
on your lips,
620
00:32:08,208 --> 00:32:09,750
I'd say this was
very successful.
621
00:32:09,750 --> 00:32:12,292
You had a nice conversation
with a handsome man,
622
00:32:12,333 --> 00:32:16,833
we got a gig out of nowhere,
and you got Burt.
623
00:33:08,292 --> 00:33:09,583
Hmm.
624
00:33:16,250 --> 00:33:18,750
You know, after one week of
being broken up with Jeff
625
00:33:18,750 --> 00:33:24,083
after four years of dating and I
cannot believe how great I feel.
626
00:33:24,125 --> 00:33:27,417
Well, what I can't believe is
that we're actually doing this.
627
00:33:27,417 --> 00:33:30,417
Alright, Jersey, how we doin'?
628
00:33:30,417 --> 00:33:32,542
All six of you.
629
00:33:32,583 --> 00:33:33,708
Alright, first thing's first.
630
00:33:33,750 --> 00:33:34,667
I'm gonna go grab us
some drinks.
631
00:33:34,708 --> 00:33:38,083
Alright, now for the sexiest
identical twins
632
00:33:38,125 --> 00:33:40,250
with the hottest dance moves.
633
00:33:40,250 --> 00:33:43,250
Everybody give it up
for Cherry and
634
00:33:46,375 --> 00:33:47,333
Dallas!
635
00:33:51,583 --> 00:33:53,708
Hey Wes, can I trouble you
for two beers, mate?
636
00:33:53,750 --> 00:33:54,750
Pretend like you don't
know me.
637
00:33:54,750 --> 00:33:56,167
Brilliant.
638
00:33:57,250 --> 00:33:58,500
Did he say Cherry and Dallas?
639
00:33:58,542 --> 00:34:01,083
You know, this is not
what I expected.
640
00:34:01,125 --> 00:34:01,542
Shh.
641
00:34:01,583 --> 00:34:02,417
Why?
642
00:34:02,417 --> 00:34:03,750
Are you afraid I'm gonna
wake them up?
643
00:34:03,750 --> 00:34:04,750
Oh, come on.
644
00:34:04,792 --> 00:34:06,750
They're performers and
you're talking over them.
645
00:34:06,792 --> 00:34:08,083
Don't be rude.
646
00:34:08,083 --> 00:34:09,125
It's disrespectful.
647
00:34:09,167 --> 00:34:09,750
I'm just saying.
648
00:34:09,750 --> 00:34:10,417
Hi, Cynthia.
649
00:34:10,458 --> 00:34:11,583
Loving the hair.
650
00:34:11,583 --> 00:34:12,667
How are you doing tonight?
651
00:34:12,708 --> 00:34:13,417
Hi.
652
00:34:13,417 --> 00:34:14,125
Thank you.
653
00:34:14,167 --> 00:34:15,333
Oh, it's a little cold
in here.
654
00:34:15,375 --> 00:34:16,042
Can I-
655
00:34:16,083 --> 00:34:16,750
Actually, we're totally fine.
656
00:34:16,750 --> 00:34:18,083
Why don't you keep the change?
657
00:34:18,125 --> 00:34:18,792
You know what?
658
00:34:18,833 --> 00:34:19,792
Throw that in for good measure.
659
00:34:19,833 --> 00:34:21,250
Don't embarrass me.
660
00:34:21,292 --> 00:34:23,417
Embarrassment's the least
of your problems.
661
00:34:23,417 --> 00:34:25,083
Ok, I need to level with you.
662
00:34:25,125 --> 00:34:26,375
It's not cold in here.
663
00:34:26,417 --> 00:34:27,417
It's optimal.
664
00:34:27,458 --> 00:34:29,167
Get with the program.
665
00:34:30,750 --> 00:34:32,125
Where are you going?
666
00:34:32,417 --> 00:34:33,625
Getting with the program.
667
00:34:33,667 --> 00:34:34,667
Don't do that!
668
00:34:34,708 --> 00:34:36,333
Lucy, come back, please.
669
00:34:37,250 --> 00:34:38,208
Hi.
670
00:34:38,250 --> 00:34:39,625
Your wife didn't send me here
to spy on you,
671
00:34:39,667 --> 00:34:40,833
I promise.
672
00:34:40,875 --> 00:34:42,167
Don't worry.
673
00:34:49,083 --> 00:34:53,042
I wonder how these girls stay
in such good shape.
674
00:34:54,125 --> 00:34:55,083
Quick question for you.
675
00:34:55,125 --> 00:34:59,458
Do you do pilates or...
oh, wow.
676
00:35:01,667 --> 00:35:04,250
Oh, nice, Luce.
677
00:35:04,292 --> 00:35:06,042
Thank you so much.
678
00:35:16,792 --> 00:35:18,083
Wait a second.
679
00:35:20,083 --> 00:35:22,750
She is totally thinking
about her shopping list.
680
00:35:22,750 --> 00:35:24,125
Ha!
681
00:35:26,875 --> 00:35:28,250
Woo!
682
00:35:57,250 --> 00:35:58,208
Oh.
683
00:36:00,750 --> 00:36:01,750
Ok.
684
00:36:10,750 --> 00:36:13,375
I'm just gonna
see what-
685
00:36:13,417 --> 00:36:14,292
She's trying to take my money!
686
00:36:14,333 --> 00:36:16,292
No, I can't make change?
687
00:36:17,167 --> 00:36:18,250
No, you did not.
688
00:36:18,250 --> 00:36:19,583
What were you thinking?
689
00:36:19,583 --> 00:36:21,792
As pleasing as her
vagina thrusts were,
690
00:36:21,833 --> 00:36:24,083
it just- it was not
a $20 kind of happy.
691
00:36:24,083 --> 00:36:26,417
Welcome to the Pleasure
Palace Party.
692
00:36:26,458 --> 00:36:29,208
We got the dildos,
we got the vibrators,
693
00:36:29,250 --> 00:36:32,583
so look around,
don't be shy.
694
00:36:32,583 --> 00:36:35,125
If you wanna get to the top
of the mountain
695
00:36:35,167 --> 00:36:36,750
you gotta go equipped.
696
00:36:36,792 --> 00:36:38,083
Oh.
697
00:36:39,083 --> 00:36:42,375
I did learn one very important
thing at the strip club.
698
00:36:42,417 --> 00:36:44,292
If naked enough it
doesn't matter
699
00:36:44,333 --> 00:36:45,750
if you can actually dance.
700
00:36:45,792 --> 00:36:48,083
Oh, I know what these are.
701
00:36:48,083 --> 00:36:49,750
People use these for meditating.
702
00:36:50,250 --> 00:36:52,750
No, those are Ben-Wa balls.
703
00:36:52,792 --> 00:36:54,417
50 Shades?
704
00:36:54,417 --> 00:36:55,417
Book two?
705
00:36:55,417 --> 00:36:57,083
Ben who?
706
00:36:57,583 --> 00:37:00,333
You take two of those,
you stick 'em up your lady,
707
00:37:00,375 --> 00:37:04,083
and just hold them for
a couple of hours, ok?
708
00:37:04,750 --> 00:37:06,250
Wait, what?
709
00:37:06,292 --> 00:37:06,958
Oh my god.
710
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:08,750
Those are for Kegel exercises.
711
00:37:08,792 --> 00:37:11,083
You could do 'em in the car.
712
00:37:11,542 --> 00:37:13,750
Shit, I'm doing them right now.
713
00:37:13,750 --> 00:37:16,750
Experience intense natural
pleasure as each weighted ball
714
00:37:16,792 --> 00:37:18,583
rolls and moves with you
to give you
715
00:37:18,583 --> 00:37:22,292
a mind-blowing
internal massage.
716
00:37:22,333 --> 00:37:27,750
Now, you're gonna sculpt
a banana into a penis
717
00:37:27,750 --> 00:37:29,708
with your teeth.
718
00:37:33,208 --> 00:37:34,125
Catch that!
719
00:37:34,167 --> 00:37:36,250
Oh yeah, get that banana.
720
00:37:36,250 --> 00:37:39,250
Well, I'll never look at a
banana the same way again.
721
00:37:39,625 --> 00:37:41,250
And neither will Paul.
722
00:37:41,500 --> 00:37:42,750
Sex toy party.
723
00:37:42,792 --> 00:37:43,750
Check.
724
00:38:04,583 --> 00:38:05,750
Wait, why'd you stop?
725
00:38:05,792 --> 00:38:08,417
Uh, nothing.
726
00:38:08,417 --> 00:38:09,500
Nothing.
727
00:38:09,542 --> 00:38:12,750
I think I just... I really need
to go to the bathroom.
728
00:38:12,792 --> 00:38:13,667
Oh my, well go!
729
00:38:13,708 --> 00:38:15,542
It's right down there.
730
00:38:17,333 --> 00:38:20,750
I don't think I can
make it that far.
731
00:38:20,792 --> 00:38:21,750
Oh god.
732
00:38:21,750 --> 00:38:22,625
It's gonna come out.
733
00:38:22,667 --> 00:38:23,500
What is?
734
00:38:28,208 --> 00:38:29,125
Not a word.
735
00:38:29,417 --> 00:38:30,667
Not a word.
736
00:38:31,333 --> 00:38:33,125
Uh-uh.
737
00:38:34,208 --> 00:38:35,333
Ok.
738
00:38:35,375 --> 00:38:36,083
Oh.
739
00:38:36,083 --> 00:38:36,750
Oh!
740
00:38:36,792 --> 00:38:38,125
I don't think I can bend over.
741
00:38:38,167 --> 00:38:39,333
Because there's a second one?
742
00:38:39,375 --> 00:38:39,750
Three.
743
00:38:39,792 --> 00:38:40,750
Oh!
744
00:38:40,750 --> 00:38:41,500
There are three more.
745
00:38:41,542 --> 00:38:43,708
I bought two boxes.
746
00:38:44,333 --> 00:38:45,583
I see.
747
00:38:45,625 --> 00:38:46,583
For Kegels.
748
00:38:46,625 --> 00:38:48,125
Say no more.
749
00:38:50,750 --> 00:38:51,958
I need you to pick it up.
750
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,125
You know, I didn't think there
were limits to our friendship.
751
00:38:54,167 --> 00:38:55,417
I realize it's just not true.
752
00:38:55,458 --> 00:38:56,708
Oh, this is not funny.
753
00:38:56,750 --> 00:38:57,583
It's not funny, ok?
754
00:38:57,583 --> 00:39:00,250
I only wore these
to a work function
755
00:39:00,292 --> 00:39:02,458
because I knew we would
be standing for three hours
756
00:39:02,500 --> 00:39:05,625
and, you know,
I wanted to tone.
757
00:39:07,750 --> 00:39:08,750
Stop!
758
00:39:08,792 --> 00:39:09,792
Stop, ok?
759
00:39:09,833 --> 00:39:11,792
If you make me laugh another
ball will pop out.
760
00:39:11,833 --> 00:39:13,542
Oh god, I'm so...
761
00:39:13,583 --> 00:39:14,667
I need help here. Please.
762
00:39:14,708 --> 00:39:16,250
Ok, ok. Let's go.
763
00:39:19,792 --> 00:39:20,542
What was that?
764
00:39:20,583 --> 00:39:21,750
I don't know.
765
00:39:21,750 --> 00:39:24,458
When I walk my legs just
sort of rub together
766
00:39:24,500 --> 00:39:25,750
and I'm already so, so-
767
00:39:25,792 --> 00:39:27,458
oh my god, I might-
768
00:39:27,500 --> 00:39:28,083
Hallelujah?
769
00:39:28,125 --> 00:39:28,833
Yeah.
770
00:39:28,875 --> 00:39:31,083
Ok, we're gonna
have to risk it.
771
00:39:31,083 --> 00:39:32,625
Lucy, if you do this
while holding my hand
772
00:39:32,667 --> 00:39:34,250
this friendship will
never be the same.
773
00:39:34,292 --> 00:39:36,083
Ladies, you look like
you're having a good night.
774
00:39:36,125 --> 00:39:37,625
Some of us more than others.
775
00:39:37,667 --> 00:39:38,625
Hi.
776
00:39:38,667 --> 00:39:39,667
What're you doing here?
777
00:39:39,708 --> 00:39:41,083
Oh, seeing my dad.
778
00:39:41,125 --> 00:39:43,292
He's on the board
with the trust.
779
00:39:43,708 --> 00:39:45,125
It's irrelevant.
780
00:39:45,167 --> 00:39:46,167
Now I'm seeing you.
781
00:39:46,208 --> 00:39:47,667
Have you met Priscilla?
782
00:39:47,708 --> 00:39:48,583
No, how are you?
783
00:39:48,583 --> 00:39:49,583
The leader of our quartet.
784
00:39:49,625 --> 00:39:52,583
My dear friend, who always
comes to my rescue.
785
00:39:52,625 --> 00:39:54,333
Oh, you need a lot of that?
786
00:39:54,375 --> 00:39:56,292
No, not at all,
but even still,
787
00:39:56,333 --> 00:39:58,750
she's just always waiting
for the other ball to drop.
788
00:39:58,750 --> 00:40:01,042
I mean shoe.
789
00:40:02,792 --> 00:40:04,292
Is it hot in here?
790
00:40:04,333 --> 00:40:05,250
Yeah, it is.
791
00:40:05,292 --> 00:40:06,458
Hmm.
792
00:40:06,500 --> 00:40:09,750
Um, I see someone that I...
793
00:40:09,792 --> 00:40:11,208
I don't see anyone.
794
00:40:11,250 --> 00:40:13,417
I'm just getting
out of the way.
795
00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:17,250
Are you tired?
796
00:40:17,250 --> 00:40:18,083
Am I tired?
797
00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:19,708
Yeah, you seem a bit
out of breath.
798
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:20,708
Mmm-mmm.
799
00:40:20,750 --> 00:40:21,708
Mmm-mmm.
800
00:40:21,750 --> 00:40:24,750
No, I just sort of get
that way when I play.
801
00:40:24,750 --> 00:40:25,833
Oh, I get it.
802
00:40:25,875 --> 00:40:27,750
You're amazing.
803
00:40:29,417 --> 00:40:30,542
Sweet Jesus.
804
00:40:30,792 --> 00:40:32,167
Oh, what was that?
805
00:40:32,208 --> 00:40:32,708
Hmm?
806
00:40:32,750 --> 00:40:33,833
That.
807
00:40:33,875 --> 00:40:37,750
No, my back just gets that way
when I stand and play.
808
00:40:37,750 --> 00:40:39,042
Alright.
809
00:40:41,208 --> 00:40:42,292
Are you cold?
810
00:40:42,333 --> 00:40:43,083
Mmmhmm.
811
00:40:43,083 --> 00:40:43,708
Yeah.
812
00:40:43,750 --> 00:40:44,750
Oh, let's get you moving.
813
00:40:44,792 --> 00:40:45,583
Oh.
814
00:40:45,583 --> 00:40:46,667
Come on.
815
00:40:51,583 --> 00:40:53,125
Ah.
816
00:40:53,583 --> 00:40:54,583
You ok?
817
00:40:54,625 --> 00:40:55,667
Yeah.
818
00:40:55,708 --> 00:40:57,208
Yeah.
819
00:40:57,250 --> 00:40:58,750
Just warming up a little.
820
00:41:00,792 --> 00:41:02,458
If I didn't know better,
821
00:41:02,500 --> 00:41:03,833
your lips look beautifully
deflated this evening.
822
00:41:08,292 --> 00:41:10,625
Women don't usually
find me funny.
823
00:41:11,125 --> 00:41:13,375
It's my pleasure.
824
00:41:13,625 --> 00:41:14,625
Truly.
825
00:41:15,542 --> 00:41:16,292
Oh.
826
00:41:17,333 --> 00:41:18,417
Oh.
827
00:41:19,583 --> 00:41:21,083
Oh, what was that?
828
00:41:21,083 --> 00:41:21,750
What was what?
829
00:41:21,792 --> 00:41:23,083
Something just hit my foot.
830
00:41:23,125 --> 00:41:23,750
Is that a bird?
831
00:41:23,750 --> 00:41:24,750
There's a bird?
832
00:41:25,833 --> 00:41:27,667
Nope. Nope.
833
00:41:27,708 --> 00:41:28,792
Sorry, my mistake.
834
00:41:28,833 --> 00:41:29,542
Weird.
835
00:41:29,583 --> 00:41:30,583
Anyway.
836
00:41:30,625 --> 00:41:31,500
Hmm?
837
00:41:31,542 --> 00:41:32,500
I was thinking...
838
00:41:32,542 --> 00:41:33,083
Yeah?
839
00:41:33,083 --> 00:41:34,083
If you're not too busy-
840
00:41:34,083 --> 00:41:34,625
Never.
841
00:41:34,667 --> 00:41:35,417
Or too hot.
842
00:41:35,458 --> 00:41:36,083
Would you like to-
843
00:41:36,083 --> 00:41:36,750
Yes.
844
00:41:36,792 --> 00:41:37,542
Have dinner with me?
845
00:41:37,583 --> 00:41:38,833
Dear god, yes!
846
00:41:49,667 --> 00:41:51,458
So you call me up out of
the blue to ask me
847
00:41:51,500 --> 00:41:52,458
how good you were in bed?
848
00:41:52,500 --> 00:41:53,250
Mmmhmm.
849
00:41:53,292 --> 00:41:54,250
Out of a percentage
out of 100.
850
00:41:54,292 --> 00:41:58,417
But if you must, I will accept
a letter grade.
851
00:42:01,250 --> 00:42:02,583
Did you meet someone?
852
00:42:02,625 --> 00:42:03,458
What?
853
00:42:03,500 --> 00:42:04,417
No.
854
00:42:04,667 --> 00:42:05,458
No.
855
00:42:05,500 --> 00:42:06,250
I was just wondering-
856
00:42:06,292 --> 00:42:07,583
You did.
857
00:42:07,625 --> 00:42:10,667
You're seeing someone.
858
00:42:10,708 --> 00:42:11,792
Yeah, I am.
859
00:42:11,833 --> 00:42:12,583
I'm sorry.
860
00:42:12,625 --> 00:42:13,583
It's very new-
861
00:42:13,625 --> 00:42:14,250
No, no.
862
00:42:14,250 --> 00:42:15,750
It's a- I'm relieved, ok?
863
00:42:15,792 --> 00:42:21,500
'Cause I'm... I'm also seeing
someone else, too.
864
00:42:21,542 --> 00:42:22,375
You are?
865
00:42:22,417 --> 00:42:23,625
Yeah.
866
00:42:23,667 --> 00:42:24,292
Huh.
867
00:42:24,333 --> 00:42:25,583
Wow.
868
00:42:27,833 --> 00:42:28,750
Halloween.
869
00:42:28,792 --> 00:42:29,333
Yeah.
870
00:42:29,375 --> 00:42:31,167
Right after we broke up.
871
00:42:31,208 --> 00:42:34,750
Oh, or is that how she dresses
all the time?
872
00:42:34,792 --> 00:42:36,542
That's funny.
873
00:42:36,583 --> 00:42:38,583
I miss your sense of humour.
874
00:42:39,417 --> 00:42:41,292
Is that- I'm sorry, is that bad
for me to say
875
00:42:41,333 --> 00:42:43,417
that I miss something
about you?
876
00:42:45,667 --> 00:42:49,583
Uh... so, how are the-
how's your lists coming?
877
00:42:49,583 --> 00:42:51,583
Oh, very well, thank you.
878
00:42:51,625 --> 00:42:53,417
Yeah, after the porn thing
879
00:42:53,458 --> 00:42:56,125
I made a list that's
all about sex.
880
00:42:56,167 --> 00:43:02,125
And I recently went to both
a porn shop and a strip club.
881
00:43:04,625 --> 00:43:05,542
What?
882
00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:06,500
You- no, you're...
883
00:43:06,542 --> 00:43:07,833
you're hilarious.
884
00:43:07,875 --> 00:43:13,375
You see, this- you, us
being friends, this rocks.
885
00:43:13,417 --> 00:43:14,708
Yeah, it's great.
886
00:43:14,750 --> 00:43:17,500
Uh, but, sex with me.
887
00:43:17,542 --> 00:43:18,792
How was it?
888
00:43:18,833 --> 00:43:20,083
Oh, right.
889
00:43:20,083 --> 00:43:24,500
Um... it was fine.
890
00:43:24,542 --> 00:43:27,208
Jeff, literally choose
any letter.
891
00:43:27,250 --> 00:43:28,375
Ok, uh, geez.
892
00:43:28,417 --> 00:43:31,167
Uh... like A through F,
right?
893
00:43:31,208 --> 00:43:32,042
Yes.
894
00:43:32,667 --> 00:43:34,083
Ok.
895
00:43:34,125 --> 00:43:37,250
Uh, you are a...
896
00:43:41,458 --> 00:43:43,167
D.
897
00:43:43,208 --> 00:43:44,250
It's in room D.
898
00:43:44,292 --> 00:43:45,000
Are you sure?
899
00:43:45,042 --> 00:43:46,458
It doesn't say
"sex seminar".
900
00:43:46,500 --> 00:43:48,500
They're not gonna
call it that.
901
00:43:48,542 --> 00:43:49,458
It's this one.
902
00:43:49,500 --> 00:43:50,417
It has to be.
903
00:43:50,417 --> 00:43:51,708
Come on.
904
00:43:55,500 --> 00:44:00,208
Proficiency in sex is a must.
905
00:44:00,250 --> 00:44:05,208
It is the universal language
of humanity.
906
00:44:07,083 --> 00:44:08,125
You're tardy.
907
00:44:08,167 --> 00:44:08,792
Take a seat.
908
00:44:08,833 --> 00:44:09,833
Did you invite her?
909
00:44:09,875 --> 00:44:11,542
No.
910
00:44:11,583 --> 00:44:13,667
What could she have to learn?
911
00:44:14,958 --> 00:44:19,292
To walk around speaking slang
is to be ignorant to one's self.
912
00:44:19,333 --> 00:44:20,167
What're you doing here?
913
00:44:20,208 --> 00:44:21,750
I just came here to do research
for you.
914
00:44:21,750 --> 00:44:25,500
Number one miscommunication
slang speakers make
915
00:44:25,542 --> 00:44:29,417
is to think of it as a
male-centric activity.
916
00:44:29,417 --> 00:44:31,167
That is, they think about
when men intercourse
917
00:44:31,208 --> 00:44:33,833
with women that it's
all about the guy.
918
00:44:33,875 --> 00:44:34,750
Wrong!
919
00:44:34,750 --> 00:44:35,750
Wrong!!
920
00:44:35,792 --> 00:44:37,000
Wrong!
921
00:44:37,042 --> 00:44:40,375
From this moment on you will
refer to sexual communication
922
00:44:40,417 --> 00:44:45,500
as the gift that you will
give to only a worthy man,
923
00:44:45,542 --> 00:44:52,417
from you, the soon to be
supremely empowered woman!
924
00:45:00,375 --> 00:45:02,708
Oh, hit- oh wow,
you are tense.
925
00:45:02,750 --> 00:45:04,417
Yeah, I don't think
smacking it
926
00:45:04,458 --> 00:45:06,083
like that is part
of the technique.
927
00:45:06,125 --> 00:45:10,167
Kale, he left me for someone
his own age so I'm just-
928
00:45:10,208 --> 00:45:12,167
I can't deal with men right now.
929
00:45:12,208 --> 00:45:14,417
Oh, Nessa, I'm so sorry.
930
00:45:14,417 --> 00:45:16,375
Here.
931
00:45:16,417 --> 00:45:17,792
I'm gonna help you.
932
00:45:17,833 --> 00:45:19,625
Ok?
933
00:45:19,667 --> 00:45:23,542
It's like we're in Ghost
and you're my Patrick Swayze.
934
00:45:23,583 --> 00:45:27,375
Oh, of course you get
to be Demi Moore.
935
00:45:27,417 --> 00:45:29,417
It takes a village.
936
00:45:56,708 --> 00:45:59,583
Ok, so five weeks until my
audition for the Philharmonic-
937
00:45:59,583 --> 00:46:03,583
I'm not getting any better,
am I?
938
00:46:03,625 --> 00:46:06,208
No, you're really not.
939
00:46:06,250 --> 00:46:07,333
What?
940
00:46:07,375 --> 00:46:09,250
'Cause you're already a genius.
941
00:46:09,292 --> 00:46:11,292
Well, it's true,
and you know it.
942
00:46:11,333 --> 00:46:17,208
You just gotta get
out of there.
943
00:46:17,250 --> 00:46:20,250
Did you know that the female
ferret will die if she goes
944
00:46:20,292 --> 00:46:22,500
into heat and can't find
a mate?
945
00:46:22,542 --> 00:46:25,083
Jeff was the rodent,
not you.
946
00:46:25,083 --> 00:46:26,292
What about the best man?
947
00:46:26,333 --> 00:46:27,250
Groomsman.
948
00:46:27,292 --> 00:46:28,417
Hasn't he called?
949
00:46:28,417 --> 00:46:30,167
You really should ask Paul
what his story is because-
950
00:46:30,208 --> 00:46:32,417
No. No, he did.
951
00:46:32,417 --> 00:46:34,417
We're going out on Saturday.
952
00:46:34,458 --> 00:46:35,250
You are?!
953
00:46:35,292 --> 00:46:36,208
Oh.
954
00:46:36,250 --> 00:46:36,708
That's wonderful!
955
00:46:36,750 --> 00:46:37,583
Oh.
956
00:46:37,583 --> 00:46:39,375
You're at a ten.
957
00:46:39,417 --> 00:46:40,583
Well, what are your plans?
958
00:46:40,625 --> 00:46:43,083
I mean, you could do
a dinner cruise.
959
00:46:43,125 --> 00:46:45,167
Oh, a hot air balloon.
960
00:46:45,208 --> 00:46:47,208
What is with you today?
961
00:46:47,250 --> 00:46:48,750
Nothing, I'm just happy
for you.
962
00:46:48,750 --> 00:46:51,625
Oh... what are those?
963
00:46:51,667 --> 00:46:53,333
Stan got me diamonds.
964
00:46:53,375 --> 00:46:54,625
Oh my god.
965
00:46:54,667 --> 00:46:56,375
Was it the seminar?
966
00:46:56,417 --> 00:46:59,417
I have a sex life again
after 27 years.
967
00:46:59,417 --> 00:47:02,542
Stan and I are doing it like
high school kids on prom night.
968
00:47:02,583 --> 00:47:05,083
Oh, so meaning it's over
in five minutes
969
00:47:05,083 --> 00:47:06,250
and you get nothing out of it.
970
00:47:06,250 --> 00:47:09,250
Except a bad reputation.
971
00:47:09,250 --> 00:47:10,667
Anyway, enough about me.
972
00:47:10,708 --> 00:47:12,333
Why aren't you thrilled
about the best man?
973
00:47:12,375 --> 00:47:13,458
I am.
974
00:47:13,500 --> 00:47:17,250
I... don't you think he's
a little out of my league?
975
00:47:17,250 --> 00:47:19,500
I'm not even gonna dignify
that question.
976
00:47:19,542 --> 00:47:22,125
You're just afraid to get back
on the horse.
977
00:47:22,167 --> 00:47:24,083
Lucy, it's like riding a bike.
978
00:47:24,083 --> 00:47:27,625
Or maybe a pogo stick.
979
00:47:27,667 --> 00:47:29,792
I'm just freaking out
because in my effort to be
980
00:47:29,833 --> 00:47:33,833
supremely empowered I insisted
on planning the date.
981
00:47:33,875 --> 00:47:37,125
And I've got nothing.
982
00:47:37,167 --> 00:47:40,333
Well, if you're interested,
Stan got us two tickets
983
00:47:40,375 --> 00:47:42,833
to the Dr. Becker taping
on Saturday night.
984
00:47:42,875 --> 00:47:44,167
VIP seats.
985
00:47:44,208 --> 00:47:45,500
Which is...?
986
00:47:45,542 --> 00:47:47,667
She's a sex expert.
987
00:47:47,708 --> 00:47:49,500
I showed Stan the list.
988
00:47:49,542 --> 00:47:51,292
He got very inspired.
989
00:47:51,333 --> 00:47:53,542
Anyway, if I promised to make it
worth his while
990
00:47:53,583 --> 00:47:57,250
I'm sure I can get him
to stay at home.
991
00:47:57,250 --> 00:48:01,250
Ok, if I promise to take
the tickets
992
00:48:01,292 --> 00:48:03,083
do you promise to never talk
about you and Stan
993
00:48:03,083 --> 00:48:05,750
sexually communicating
ever again?
994
00:48:05,750 --> 00:48:06,458
Deal.
995
00:48:06,500 --> 00:48:07,417
Ok.
996
00:48:07,417 --> 00:48:08,542
Can I just tell you one thing?
997
00:48:08,583 --> 00:48:09,333
Alright, yes.
998
00:48:09,375 --> 00:48:11,083
I'm gonna get my labia
tightened.
999
00:48:19,250 --> 00:48:22,083
What do you think about
oyster shooters?
1000
00:48:22,083 --> 00:48:27,125
Mmm, aren't oysters more
of a third date kind of food?
1001
00:48:27,167 --> 00:48:29,458
Yes, good point.
1002
00:48:29,500 --> 00:48:31,250
It's not like you're taking me
to a sex show.
1003
00:48:31,292 --> 00:48:34,083
Lecture by a progressive,
1004
00:48:34,083 --> 00:48:36,708
world renowned researcher
who went to Yale.
1005
00:48:36,750 --> 00:48:40,250
Which is definitely
not Harvard.
1006
00:48:40,292 --> 00:48:42,417
But she happens to be discussing
human sexuality and I-
1007
00:48:42,417 --> 00:48:45,292
I know, I know, consult
an expert is on your list.
1008
00:48:45,333 --> 00:48:47,083
I'm messing with you.
1009
00:48:47,125 --> 00:48:50,333
And just because we're going
to a lecture like this
1010
00:48:50,375 --> 00:48:53,375
doesn't make me a sure thing,
you know.
1011
00:48:53,417 --> 00:48:54,833
Me neither.
1012
00:48:54,875 --> 00:48:56,458
Good.
1013
00:48:56,500 --> 00:48:59,750
Wouldn't want you getting
the wrong idea.
1014
00:48:59,792 --> 00:49:02,583
What idea might that be?
1015
00:49:02,583 --> 00:49:05,542
I don't know, I just wouldn't
want you misinterpreting
1016
00:49:05,583 --> 00:49:11,792
my list, 'cause I'm really
not that kind of girl.
1017
00:49:11,833 --> 00:49:15,250
And what kind of girl
are you?
1018
00:49:15,292 --> 00:49:19,417
That's for me to know
and for you to wonder.
1019
00:49:22,625 --> 00:49:24,750
Ok, well now I'm gonna ask you
a bunch of things
1020
00:49:24,750 --> 00:49:27,292
so I can make a meaningful
snap judgement about you
1021
00:49:27,333 --> 00:49:28,292
without being distracted
1022
00:49:28,333 --> 00:49:32,458
by all your charming,
attractive... you-ness.
1023
00:49:32,500 --> 00:49:35,083
Is this where you ask me
for my tax return?
1024
00:49:35,083 --> 00:49:36,583
'Cause I didn't bring it.
1025
00:49:36,583 --> 00:49:38,792
Uh, no.
1026
00:49:38,833 --> 00:49:41,583
I was just gonna ask you what
your favourite book was.
1027
00:49:41,583 --> 00:49:43,167
Um, sorry.
1028
00:49:43,208 --> 00:49:45,375
My last girlfriend did that
on the first date.
1029
00:49:45,417 --> 00:49:49,250
And you still ended up
dating her?
1030
00:49:49,250 --> 00:49:50,750
Oh.
1031
00:49:50,792 --> 00:49:51,833
Alright, yeah.
1032
00:49:51,875 --> 00:49:54,417
Your last girlfriend must have
been a supermodel.
1033
00:49:54,417 --> 00:49:56,750
She was a model, yes,
but super, no.
1034
00:49:56,750 --> 00:49:57,667
Definitely not.
1035
00:49:57,708 --> 00:49:59,250
And she's certainly not
Harvard material.
1036
00:49:59,250 --> 00:50:01,125
Ah.
1037
00:50:01,167 --> 00:50:05,250
Well, as an artist, I do not
require financial documentation.
1038
00:50:05,292 --> 00:50:07,208
Being well kept doesn't really
apply to me.
1039
00:50:07,250 --> 00:50:10,125
And yet you seem to be
kept very well.
1040
00:50:12,583 --> 00:50:13,542
That is corny.
1041
00:50:15,250 --> 00:50:17,083
Uh, let's do the books.
1042
00:50:17,083 --> 00:50:18,083
I have two.
1043
00:50:18,125 --> 00:50:19,125
I also have two favourites.
1044
00:50:19,167 --> 00:50:19,833
Ladies first.
1045
00:50:19,875 --> 00:50:20,750
Nope.
1046
00:50:20,750 --> 00:50:21,292
Huh?
1047
00:50:21,333 --> 00:50:23,167
No. I asked you first.
1048
00:50:23,208 --> 00:50:25,250
Revealing book love is
a very personal thing.
1049
00:50:25,250 --> 00:50:26,250
I know.
1050
00:50:26,250 --> 00:50:30,083
That's why it's my stock first
date question.
1051
00:50:30,083 --> 00:50:33,250
It's gonna tell me everything
I need to know about you.
1052
00:50:33,250 --> 00:50:35,708
Are you sure you wanna know?
1053
00:50:35,750 --> 00:50:37,667
Yeah, you're right.
1054
00:50:37,708 --> 00:50:40,417
It could be the end of something
good before it even starts.
1055
00:50:40,458 --> 00:50:43,667
Or it could be the start of
something good that doesn't end.
1056
00:50:45,625 --> 00:50:47,292
What the hell's
in this drink?
1057
00:50:49,708 --> 00:50:50,708
Ok, alright.
1058
00:50:50,750 --> 00:50:52,375
Let's just state our books.
1059
00:50:52,417 --> 00:50:53,250
Yep.
1060
00:50:53,250 --> 00:50:55,083
And let's get this ship
to sinking, ok?
1061
00:50:55,125 --> 00:50:56,208
Please.
1062
00:50:56,250 --> 00:50:57,083
Alright.
1063
00:50:57,083 --> 00:50:58,083
Yeah. At the same time,
count of three?
1064
00:50:58,083 --> 00:50:58,500
Yes.
1065
00:50:58,542 --> 00:50:59,125
Alright.
1066
00:50:59,167 --> 00:50:59,708
Ok.
1067
00:50:59,750 --> 00:51:01,542
One, two, three.
1068
00:51:01,583 --> 00:51:02,583
"Everything That Rises
Must Converge",
1069
00:51:02,625 --> 00:51:03,833
and "The Story of Your Life."
1070
00:51:03,875 --> 00:51:04,750
"The Story of Your Life"
1071
00:51:04,792 --> 00:51:07,417
and "Everything That Rises
Must Converge".
1072
00:51:08,250 --> 00:51:10,083
Well, you like them in
the wrong order.
1073
00:51:10,083 --> 00:51:12,083
Yeah. It's definitely
not gonna work.
1074
00:51:22,750 --> 00:51:24,583
This is the Dr. Becker show?
1075
00:51:24,625 --> 00:51:26,167
Yeah. Hi, welcome.
1076
00:51:26,208 --> 00:51:27,333
Hi.
1077
00:51:27,375 --> 00:51:31,708
Oh, uh, will Dr. Becker
be out soon?
1078
00:51:31,750 --> 00:51:34,208
That is Dr. Becker.
1079
00:51:34,250 --> 00:51:35,083
Alright, let's get everybody
in their seats now-
1080
00:51:35,083 --> 00:51:39,208
Wait, she's a Magna Cum
Laude Yale PhD?
1081
00:51:39,250 --> 00:51:40,583
Follow me.
1082
00:51:40,625 --> 00:51:42,708
Alright, ladies and gentlemen,
please take your seats.
1083
00:51:42,750 --> 00:51:44,750
The show is about to start.
1084
00:51:44,792 --> 00:51:49,250
Dr. Becker, you're on
in three, two...
1085
00:51:51,083 --> 00:51:53,083
Ok.
1086
00:51:53,125 --> 00:51:55,208
I am so sorry.
I had no idea-
1087
00:51:55,250 --> 00:51:56,292
Are you kidding me?
1088
00:51:56,333 --> 00:51:59,583
This is the most interesting
date I have ever gone on
1089
00:51:59,583 --> 00:52:00,583
in my entire life.
1090
00:52:00,625 --> 00:52:01,583
Welcome.
1091
00:52:01,625 --> 00:52:06,125
Tonight's guest is both
a true pleasure to have
1092
00:52:06,167 --> 00:52:09,417
and a departure from my usual
science-based approach
1093
00:52:09,458 --> 00:52:11,750
to sexual enlightenment.
1094
00:52:11,792 --> 00:52:14,583
Science was nothing like
this where I went to school.
1095
00:52:14,583 --> 00:52:15,833
Really?
1096
00:52:15,875 --> 00:52:18,083
I thought boarding schools were
known for sexual enlightenment.
1097
00:52:18,125 --> 00:52:21,083
Please help me welcome
Madam Swarovska,
1098
00:52:21,083 --> 00:52:23,208
world-renowned sexual psychic.
1099
00:52:25,083 --> 00:52:26,000
What's a sexual psychic?
1100
00:52:26,042 --> 00:52:28,292
Someone who can do
the pull and pray method
1101
00:52:28,333 --> 00:52:30,208
of birth control?
1102
00:52:31,583 --> 00:52:32,583
You snorted.
1103
00:52:32,625 --> 00:52:33,833
Ok, I'm leaving.
1104
00:52:33,875 --> 00:52:35,792
That one.
1105
00:52:35,833 --> 00:52:37,250
She suffers.
1106
00:52:37,292 --> 00:52:38,292
Oh?
1107
00:52:43,083 --> 00:52:44,333
Oh.
1108
00:52:44,375 --> 00:52:45,583
Madame Swarovska,
1109
00:52:45,625 --> 00:52:48,250
can you explain to our audience
what it is that you're doing?
1110
00:52:48,292 --> 00:52:49,833
And me, would be nice.
1111
00:52:49,875 --> 00:52:53,292
I am assessing the aura.
1112
00:52:53,333 --> 00:52:57,083
Seeing what colours
surround her.
1113
00:52:57,125 --> 00:52:59,250
Sounds lovely.
Thank you.
1114
00:52:59,250 --> 00:53:02,542
For most people, yes.
For you, no.
1115
00:53:02,583 --> 00:53:05,292
For you, is grey.
1116
00:53:05,333 --> 00:53:06,708
Grey?
1117
00:53:06,750 --> 00:53:08,792
Are you saying that
she's sexually...
1118
00:53:08,833 --> 00:53:10,083
Grey!
1119
00:53:10,125 --> 00:53:11,583
Yes.
1120
00:53:11,583 --> 00:53:16,083
Well, lucky for me
neutrals are in for fall.
1121
00:53:16,083 --> 00:53:18,083
You know, we can go
like five minutes ago.
1122
00:53:18,083 --> 00:53:19,083
No, no, this is awesome.
1123
00:53:19,125 --> 00:53:19,958
This is great.
1124
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:22,083
How about we get you on
stage, Miss...?
1125
00:53:22,125 --> 00:53:23,542
Uh, Lu...
1126
00:53:24,833 --> 00:53:26,375
Lulu-bell.
1127
00:53:27,417 --> 00:53:29,833
Well, come on up
here, Lulu-bell,
1128
00:53:29,875 --> 00:53:32,542
so Madame Swarovska
can read you.
1129
00:53:32,583 --> 00:53:33,792
Come on.
1130
00:53:34,792 --> 00:53:36,458
You're safe.
1131
00:53:39,833 --> 00:53:45,583
Yes, the grey one is in deep
struggle with the sex.
1132
00:53:45,625 --> 00:53:47,208
I often discuss a condition
1133
00:53:47,250 --> 00:53:50,083
called sexual attention
deficit disorder.
1134
00:53:50,083 --> 00:53:51,417
SADD.
1135
00:53:51,417 --> 00:53:53,375
Sad, for short.
1136
00:53:53,417 --> 00:53:55,583
Which involves frequent
mental wanderings
1137
00:53:55,625 --> 00:53:59,167
of a non-sexual nature
during intercourse.
1138
00:53:59,208 --> 00:54:00,333
Might that be what-
1139
00:54:00,375 --> 00:54:03,750
Yes, but also lack
of experience.
1140
00:54:05,333 --> 00:54:10,625
Oh, trust me, I- I have plenty
of experience.
1141
00:54:13,333 --> 00:54:15,250
The cards say no.
1142
00:54:15,250 --> 00:54:16,542
No, I assure you.
1143
00:54:16,583 --> 00:54:18,250
I know what I'm doing.
1144
00:54:18,250 --> 00:54:19,750
The cards say no.
1145
00:54:23,125 --> 00:54:24,667
Oh, I see.
1146
00:54:24,708 --> 00:54:28,750
You are very old when
you are first having sex.
1147
00:54:28,750 --> 00:54:30,708
Surely you mean old enough.
1148
00:54:30,750 --> 00:54:32,708
No, I mean old.
1149
00:54:32,750 --> 00:54:34,375
Oh.
1150
00:54:35,083 --> 00:54:39,250
Oh, old is why you are only
having sex with four people?
1151
00:54:39,292 --> 00:54:41,083
Is that true?
1152
00:54:41,125 --> 00:54:42,542
Four?
1153
00:54:42,583 --> 00:54:43,458
No.
1154
00:54:43,500 --> 00:54:44,292
No?
1155
00:54:44,333 --> 00:54:44,958
Well, yeah.
1156
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:46,333
But what's wrong with that?
1157
00:54:46,375 --> 00:54:48,667
Oh, one does not count.
1158
00:54:48,708 --> 00:54:55,708
It ends uh, how you say...
prematurely.
1159
00:54:59,708 --> 00:55:01,750
Oh, that one looks promising.
1160
00:55:01,792 --> 00:55:05,750
Yeah, when is upright yes,
but for you is reverse.
1161
00:55:05,792 --> 00:55:06,583
Oh.
1162
00:55:06,625 --> 00:55:08,708
Oh.
1163
00:55:08,750 --> 00:55:10,083
Grey one.
1164
00:55:10,083 --> 00:55:10,875
Yeah?
1165
00:55:10,875 --> 00:55:13,167
You're not having
the big booms?
1166
00:55:13,208 --> 00:55:15,500
What?
1167
00:55:15,542 --> 00:55:18,333
The big booms.
1168
00:55:18,375 --> 00:55:20,750
The rolling thunder.
1169
00:55:20,792 --> 00:55:23,292
The crotch magic,
you know?
1170
00:55:23,333 --> 00:55:25,333
Like, oh yeah, baby.
1171
00:55:25,375 --> 00:55:26,167
I love it!
1172
00:55:26,208 --> 00:55:27,042
You know?
1173
00:55:27,083 --> 00:55:28,750
Like, woah Nealy gets
really crazy,
1174
00:55:28,750 --> 00:55:30,125
that kind of sex.
1175
00:55:30,167 --> 00:55:32,750
Like uh, like magic time.
1176
00:55:32,750 --> 00:55:34,083
Like crotch magic.
1177
00:55:34,083 --> 00:55:35,583
Blast it off.
1178
00:55:35,583 --> 00:55:37,417
Blast up inside, you know?
1179
00:55:37,417 --> 00:55:38,792
I can't handle it anymore!
1180
00:55:38,833 --> 00:55:40,417
Like... woo!
1181
00:55:40,458 --> 00:55:41,417
This type of thing.
1182
00:55:41,458 --> 00:55:42,667
What- how you call it?
1183
00:55:42,708 --> 00:55:46,708
She sees... um,
you don't orgasm.
1184
00:55:46,750 --> 00:55:48,625
I got it. Thanks.
1185
00:55:48,667 --> 00:55:51,708
Oh, but you're giving booms
to yourself sometime,
1186
00:55:51,750 --> 00:55:52,667
that's good.
1187
00:55:52,708 --> 00:55:53,792
That's ok.
1188
00:55:53,833 --> 00:55:54,750
That's something, huh?
1189
00:55:58,083 --> 00:55:58,750
That's nice.
1190
00:55:58,750 --> 00:56:00,667
You keep that going, ok?
1191
00:56:01,417 --> 00:56:04,542
Now I'm going to see about
the one you come here with.
1192
00:56:04,583 --> 00:56:05,417
This guy over here.
1193
00:56:05,417 --> 00:56:06,250
Oh, oh.
1194
00:56:06,292 --> 00:56:07,667
Hey, now.
1195
00:56:13,333 --> 00:56:14,250
This is really lucky.
1196
00:56:14,292 --> 00:56:16,625
The devil's card in reverse
is representing
1197
00:56:16,667 --> 00:56:19,625
like breaking freedom
from restraint.
1198
00:56:19,667 --> 00:56:23,417
This guy is going to give
you the big booms!
1199
00:56:24,792 --> 00:56:26,167
Yes.
1200
00:56:27,667 --> 00:56:31,667
Isn't that amazing how accurate
the Madame is?
1201
00:56:44,792 --> 00:56:50,125
Well uh, thank you again
for a uh, revealing night.
1202
00:56:50,167 --> 00:56:54,417
Once again, she was so not right
about anything she said.
1203
00:56:54,458 --> 00:56:55,125
No.
1204
00:56:55,167 --> 00:56:55,625
By the way.
1205
00:56:55,667 --> 00:56:56,750
She's crazy.
1206
00:56:56,750 --> 00:56:58,542
She said I rocked your world
when we barely even know
1207
00:56:58,583 --> 00:57:00,583
each other, let alone have had,
you know, sex.
1208
00:57:00,625 --> 00:57:01,750
Right?
1209
00:57:01,750 --> 00:57:02,667
I know.
1210
00:57:02,708 --> 00:57:03,917
Like, what was she even saying?
1211
00:57:03,958 --> 00:57:09,333
That just me being close to you
I get like all... I don't know.
1212
00:57:09,375 --> 00:57:10,167
Sorry, no.
1213
00:57:10,208 --> 00:57:13,833
Look how in control I am
around you.
1214
00:57:13,875 --> 00:57:15,792
Right.
1215
00:57:16,833 --> 00:57:18,458
Anyway, yeah, she was wrong.
1216
00:57:18,500 --> 00:57:20,417
She was crazy wrong.
1217
00:57:20,750 --> 00:57:22,500
Who knows?
1218
00:57:25,583 --> 00:57:28,625
Anyway, twice again,
for the official record,
1219
00:57:28,667 --> 00:57:31,458
I had absolutely no idea
about tonight
1220
00:57:31,500 --> 00:57:35,250
and I am so, so, so sorry.
1221
00:57:35,292 --> 00:57:36,750
I'm really sorry.
1222
00:57:36,792 --> 00:57:38,750
I'm not.
1223
00:57:46,250 --> 00:57:47,083
Goodnight.
1224
00:57:47,125 --> 00:57:48,458
Yeah.
1225
00:57:48,500 --> 00:57:50,083
I swear you're going
to get me fired.
1226
00:57:50,125 --> 00:57:52,625
Or even worse,
assigned to awful jobs.
1227
00:57:52,667 --> 00:57:55,542
Grant's a pretty big deal
at the firm, you know.
1228
00:57:55,583 --> 00:57:58,708
And you're a big deal to us,
Paul, but this isn't about you.
1229
00:57:58,750 --> 00:58:00,250
Yet.
1230
00:58:00,250 --> 00:58:02,542
The psychic didn't
say anything positive?
1231
00:58:02,583 --> 00:58:04,375
Just that I wouldn't end
up alone.
1232
00:58:04,417 --> 00:58:07,208
Well, that could just mean
she thinks you'll get a cat.
1233
00:58:07,250 --> 00:58:08,000
What?
1234
00:58:08,042 --> 00:58:09,250
Ok, let me paint a picture
for you.
1235
00:58:09,292 --> 00:58:13,583
If Grant is the devil and not
even he can get lucky with her,
1236
00:58:13,625 --> 00:58:16,292
then perhaps poor Luce
is destined to end up
1237
00:58:16,333 --> 00:58:18,750
with a litter of cats.
1238
00:58:18,792 --> 00:58:20,375
But seriously,
let's get back on point.
1239
00:58:20,417 --> 00:58:21,625
How did you two leave things?
1240
00:58:21,667 --> 00:58:23,375
Am I gonna have to avoid him
at the office?
1241
00:58:23,417 --> 00:58:26,542
Can't hear you.
I'm shopping.
1242
00:58:26,583 --> 00:58:29,125
Luce, quick question.
1243
00:58:29,167 --> 00:58:31,375
Isn't this the section for girls
who do get kissed?
1244
00:58:31,417 --> 00:58:32,167
Hey.
1245
00:58:32,208 --> 00:58:33,292
Just so you know,
1246
00:58:33,333 --> 00:58:34,625
he said he was gonna call this
weekend to make plans.
1247
00:58:34,667 --> 00:58:35,625
And no, I'm in
the right section.
1248
00:58:35,667 --> 00:58:36,458
Mmmhmm.
1249
00:58:36,500 --> 00:58:39,750
Guys, I have to tell
you something.
1250
00:58:39,792 --> 00:58:41,833
Good god, you're not preg-
how?
1251
00:58:41,875 --> 00:58:42,667
What?
1252
00:58:42,708 --> 00:58:43,292
No.
1253
00:58:43,333 --> 00:58:44,542
The question would be who,
1254
00:58:44,583 --> 00:58:47,500
since I can't even seem to get
a guy past the front porch.
1255
00:58:47,542 --> 00:58:48,500
You know those jeans
1256
00:58:48,542 --> 00:58:52,250
that make my ass look like
a sorority girl's?
1257
00:58:53,875 --> 00:58:55,375
Here?
1258
00:58:55,417 --> 00:58:56,458
We're going to
the women's section.
1259
00:58:56,500 --> 00:58:57,833
Nope, not the women's.
1260
00:58:57,875 --> 00:58:58,708
Men's?
1261
00:58:58,750 --> 00:58:59,583
That's brilliant.
1262
00:58:59,583 --> 00:59:00,583
Right here.
1263
00:59:00,583 --> 00:59:02,417
In maternity.
1264
00:59:03,042 --> 00:59:07,625
Look, they have this stretchy
stuff that goes over the stomach
1265
00:59:07,667 --> 00:59:11,333
and just kinda smooths
everything out.
1266
00:59:13,792 --> 00:59:15,750
I know, you think
I'm pathetic.
1267
00:59:15,792 --> 00:59:16,875
No, no.
1268
00:59:16,875 --> 00:59:19,250
I'm just trying to figure out
my size in women's.
1269
00:59:35,208 --> 00:59:38,125
Who knew strings could accompany
threesome-type sex so well?
1270
00:59:38,167 --> 00:59:39,625
I say we rehearse like this
all the time.
1271
00:59:40,667 --> 00:59:42,583
I'm so surprised you're still
doing the list.
1272
00:59:42,625 --> 00:59:43,667
I'm psyched.
1273
00:59:43,708 --> 00:59:46,375
I've been labelled
sexually grey.
1274
00:59:46,417 --> 00:59:47,833
It kinda solidified the mission.
1275
00:59:47,875 --> 00:59:49,750
And I've been waiting for Grant
to call me all week
1276
00:59:49,792 --> 00:59:53,292
so I figured I might as well
just watch my 25 films.
1277
00:59:53,333 --> 00:59:54,542
Why are you waiting
for him to call?
1278
00:59:54,583 --> 00:59:58,167
Why don't you call him?
1279
00:59:58,208 --> 01:00:00,292
Anyway, so I had one of these
on when it came time
1280
01:00:00,333 --> 01:00:02,417
to practise one day, so...
1281
01:00:02,458 --> 01:00:03,375
Well, if it means anything,
1282
01:00:03,417 --> 01:00:05,625
I've never heard you play
this good, girl.
1283
01:00:05,667 --> 01:00:06,875
Don't be ridiculous.
1284
01:00:06,875 --> 01:00:11,083
A month until the Philharmonic
auditions remember us when.
1285
01:00:11,125 --> 01:00:12,125
Mmmhmm.
1286
01:00:18,167 --> 01:00:20,083
Oh my god.
It's him.
1287
01:00:20,125 --> 01:00:20,583
The best man?
1288
01:00:20,583 --> 01:00:21,625
Yeah.
1289
01:00:21,667 --> 01:00:22,583
Do I- what,
do I answer?
1290
01:00:22,625 --> 01:00:23,208
No!
1291
01:00:23,250 --> 01:00:25,125
No.
1292
01:00:25,167 --> 01:00:26,458
Yes.
1293
01:00:26,500 --> 01:00:28,250
I don't know.
1294
01:00:28,292 --> 01:00:29,583
Ok, answer it or I will.
1295
01:00:29,625 --> 01:00:31,417
I already suffered through
high school once.
1296
01:00:31,458 --> 01:00:32,458
Ok.
1297
01:00:33,208 --> 01:00:34,333
Ok.
1298
01:00:35,667 --> 01:00:36,708
Hey.
1299
01:00:36,750 --> 01:00:38,208
Hey yourself.
It's Grant.
1300
01:00:38,208 --> 01:00:39,750
Listen, sorry I haven't
called you...
1301
01:00:39,750 --> 01:00:41,583
"Hey"? The man of your dreams
calls and you say "hey"?
1302
01:00:41,625 --> 01:00:43,208
Shh!
1303
01:00:43,250 --> 01:00:45,083
Uh, me shush?
1304
01:00:45,125 --> 01:00:46,500
No, sorry.
Not you.
1305
01:00:46,542 --> 01:00:47,583
I'm with the quartet.
1306
01:00:47,583 --> 01:00:49,292
Rehearsing some porn!
1307
01:00:50,375 --> 01:00:51,417
Did she say you're
watching porn?
1308
01:00:51,458 --> 01:00:52,125
No.
1309
01:00:52,167 --> 01:00:52,750
No, she did not.
1310
01:00:52,792 --> 01:00:54,583
She said "horn".
1311
01:00:54,625 --> 01:00:57,333
Yeah, we're adding a French horn
to the group.
1312
01:00:57,375 --> 01:00:59,542
Ah, well, I can't help you
with that.
1313
01:00:59,583 --> 01:01:02,750
So um, you're working
on a Saturday?
1314
01:01:02,792 --> 01:01:03,625
Uh, listen.
1315
01:01:03,667 --> 01:01:04,750
Sorry I haven't called
all week.
1316
01:01:04,792 --> 01:01:06,375
I've been bloody busy
in non-stop meetings and-
1317
01:01:06,417 --> 01:01:07,458
He was out
of town all week.
1318
01:01:07,500 --> 01:01:08,458
That's it.
1319
01:01:08,500 --> 01:01:09,375
Woohoo!
1320
01:01:09,417 --> 01:01:10,750
Oh, thank god.
1321
01:01:10,792 --> 01:01:12,083
There it is.
1322
01:01:12,500 --> 01:01:13,417
Oh!
1323
01:01:14,875 --> 01:01:15,625
Oh, Paul, your ass.
1324
01:01:15,667 --> 01:01:16,500
Turn it down!
1325
01:01:16,542 --> 01:01:18,417
Turn it down!
1326
01:01:19,583 --> 01:01:21,500
Sorry, Nessa just stubbed
her toe.
1327
01:01:21,542 --> 01:01:22,417
Why me?
1328
01:01:24,583 --> 01:01:25,500
Anyway, look.
1329
01:01:25,542 --> 01:01:27,167
I know it's last minute
but I was thinking,
1330
01:01:27,208 --> 01:01:28,500
if you wanted to go out-
1331
01:01:28,542 --> 01:01:29,417
I'd love to.
1332
01:01:29,458 --> 01:01:31,458
Yes. Whatever it is.
1333
01:01:31,500 --> 01:01:32,375
So sorry!
1334
01:01:33,583 --> 01:01:35,458
Not sorry.
1335
01:02:15,583 --> 01:02:16,583
Ok. Ok.
1336
01:02:16,583 --> 01:02:17,625
Here we go.
1337
01:02:17,667 --> 01:02:19,208
Wait. Wait.
1338
01:02:19,208 --> 01:02:20,417
What?
1339
01:02:34,375 --> 01:02:34,833
Mmm-mmm.
1340
01:02:34,875 --> 01:02:35,375
No?
1341
01:02:35,375 --> 01:02:36,333
You want me to stop?
1342
01:02:36,375 --> 01:02:37,750
What? No. Go.
1343
01:02:37,792 --> 01:02:38,292
No?
1344
01:02:38,333 --> 01:02:40,792
As in it's a no go?
1345
01:02:40,833 --> 01:02:42,125
No. No. Keep going.
1346
01:03:27,583 --> 01:03:29,750
The perfect pants
for you two.
1347
01:03:43,208 --> 01:03:44,333
Hi.
1348
01:03:44,375 --> 01:03:45,125
Hey.
1349
01:03:45,167 --> 01:03:46,375
Sorry, I didn't mean
to wake you.
1350
01:03:46,417 --> 01:03:48,375
Um, I was just gonna...
1351
01:03:49,417 --> 01:03:51,375
Oh.
1352
01:03:51,375 --> 01:03:52,208
Ok.
1353
01:04:02,083 --> 01:04:03,250
I'll call you.
1354
01:04:04,208 --> 01:04:05,417
Yeah.
1355
01:04:19,750 --> 01:04:20,375
Oh my god.
1356
01:04:20,375 --> 01:04:21,375
No! No!
1357
01:04:21,417 --> 01:04:24,208
Grant! Wait!
1358
01:04:24,250 --> 01:04:25,292
Shit.
1359
01:04:26,333 --> 01:04:27,125
No. No.
1360
01:04:27,167 --> 01:04:28,625
Grant! Wait!
1361
01:04:29,375 --> 01:04:32,417
Grant? Grant!
1362
01:04:32,458 --> 01:04:36,167
If it's about the porn
I can quit any time!
1363
01:04:38,583 --> 01:04:39,375
What?
1364
01:04:39,417 --> 01:04:42,333
So I watch porn.
Big fucking deal.
1365
01:04:42,375 --> 01:04:43,625
As long as it's consensual.
1366
01:04:43,667 --> 01:04:45,542
No judgement.
1367
01:04:57,417 --> 01:04:59,292
Stupid.
1368
01:04:59,333 --> 01:05:01,333
Useless!
1369
01:05:02,875 --> 01:05:05,583
This tastes like crap!
1370
01:05:07,333 --> 01:05:08,375
Disgusting!
1371
01:05:08,417 --> 01:05:09,583
Ugh!
1372
01:05:09,625 --> 01:05:10,792
Don't even work!
1373
01:05:12,208 --> 01:05:13,625
Ugh!
1374
01:05:18,542 --> 01:05:20,458
God, I can't believe this.
1375
01:05:21,208 --> 01:05:22,333
And you.
1376
01:06:23,167 --> 01:06:24,750
Stupid.
1377
01:06:44,583 --> 01:06:47,708
Ugh, Phil's penthouse
is just so gorge.
1378
01:06:47,750 --> 01:06:50,208
My boyfriend and I walked in
and he was all
1379
01:06:50,208 --> 01:06:52,667
"this place owns the skyline".
1380
01:06:52,708 --> 01:06:54,375
Well, it did take us about
a year to complete
1381
01:06:54,417 --> 01:06:56,208
so you can imagine
what it cost.
1382
01:06:56,208 --> 01:06:58,042
I don't do numbers.
1383
01:06:58,083 --> 01:07:00,083
Me neither, but like how much?
1384
01:07:00,125 --> 01:07:02,167
Anyway, if you thought
the penthouse is impressive
1385
01:07:02,208 --> 01:07:05,458
you really ought to see
his place in the Hamptons.
1386
01:07:05,500 --> 01:07:07,208
I can't wait to own multiple
homes in
1387
01:07:07,208 --> 01:07:08,750
which I don't actually live.
1388
01:07:08,750 --> 01:07:11,250
My boyfriend and I
love the Hams.
1389
01:07:11,292 --> 01:07:13,208
The Hams?
1390
01:07:13,250 --> 01:07:14,417
Is that what we're calling
it now?
1391
01:07:14,458 --> 01:07:16,125
Only people who live there.
1392
01:07:16,167 --> 01:07:18,417
Or people who know people,
like my boyfriend does.
1393
01:07:18,458 --> 01:07:20,208
You guys need to meet him.
1394
01:07:20,250 --> 01:07:21,208
He'll be here in a minute.
1395
01:07:21,208 --> 01:07:22,042
Mmm.
1396
01:07:22,083 --> 01:07:23,417
You know what? I want
some more wine.
1397
01:07:23,458 --> 01:07:24,833
In fact, I'll take
an I.V. of it.
1398
01:07:24,875 --> 01:07:25,542
Noted.
1399
01:07:25,583 --> 01:07:26,417
Two I.V.'s.
1400
01:07:26,458 --> 01:07:28,750
Nessa, you've gotta slow
your roll, love.
1401
01:07:28,750 --> 01:07:31,208
Um, why are you guys here,
again?
1402
01:07:31,208 --> 01:07:33,375
Paul, he's doing
the panel thing.
1403
01:07:33,375 --> 01:07:37,750
Yeah, because he has actual
things to say.
1404
01:07:37,792 --> 01:07:39,375
Sorry.
1405
01:07:39,375 --> 01:07:42,167
Um, there is a designer
on the panel
1406
01:07:42,208 --> 01:07:45,083
and Paul wants
to ask her out.
1407
01:07:45,125 --> 01:07:47,125
He makes us act like
we're interested in him
1408
01:07:47,167 --> 01:07:49,417
so he can, like,
get girls.
1409
01:07:49,458 --> 01:07:51,750
Yeah, it's legitimizing.
1410
01:07:51,792 --> 01:07:54,042
Once I make partner I probably
won't need it.
1411
01:07:54,083 --> 01:07:55,208
He's right.
1412
01:07:55,250 --> 01:07:56,500
My boyfriend's a partner.
1413
01:07:56,542 --> 01:07:57,458
It's attractive.
1414
01:07:57,500 --> 01:07:59,792
I mean, my boyfriend's
already attractive.
1415
01:07:59,833 --> 01:08:01,042
My boyfriend.
1416
01:08:01,083 --> 01:08:02,167
My boyfriend.
1417
01:08:02,208 --> 01:08:03,042
My boyfriend.
1418
01:08:03,083 --> 01:08:03,833
My boyfriend.
1419
01:08:03,875 --> 01:08:05,167
My boyfriend.
1420
01:08:05,208 --> 01:08:06,333
My boyfriend.
1421
01:08:06,375 --> 01:08:07,458
My boyfriend.
1422
01:08:07,500 --> 01:08:08,625
My boyfriend.
1423
01:08:08,667 --> 01:08:10,042
Maybe you should get
a shirt that says
1424
01:08:10,083 --> 01:08:11,250
"I have a boyfriend"
1425
01:08:11,292 --> 01:08:14,125
and then you wouldn't have
to tell us every five seconds.
1426
01:08:14,167 --> 01:08:14,708
Ok, refill.
1427
01:08:14,750 --> 01:08:16,208
Coming right up.
1428
01:08:16,208 --> 01:08:17,583
I didn't mean to make
you jealous.
1429
01:08:17,625 --> 01:08:18,375
Of what?
1430
01:08:18,417 --> 01:08:19,375
You know what?
1431
01:08:19,417 --> 01:08:20,458
This is a good time to go.
1432
01:08:20,500 --> 01:08:21,250
I'm good.
1433
01:08:21,292 --> 01:08:23,208
Oh, there he is.
1434
01:08:31,583 --> 01:08:33,750
Ugh.
1435
01:09:22,667 --> 01:09:24,583
I'm all out of sausage.
1436
01:09:24,625 --> 01:09:28,042
I hope you brought your hot,
throbbing co-
1437
01:09:30,667 --> 01:09:33,083
What am I doing?
1438
01:10:34,083 --> 01:10:35,375
Thank you.
1439
01:10:35,375 --> 01:10:37,083
We'll be in touch.
1440
01:10:38,708 --> 01:10:40,208
It's that way.
1441
01:10:47,792 --> 01:10:49,292
Hey, Priscilla, it's me.
1442
01:10:49,333 --> 01:10:51,417
So the audition went great.
1443
01:10:51,458 --> 01:10:52,625
I did it!
1444
01:10:52,667 --> 01:10:55,167
I finally crossed something
big off one of my lists.
1445
01:10:55,208 --> 01:10:57,333
Ah, I feel amazing.
1446
01:11:12,375 --> 01:11:14,125
Jeff's getting married?
1447
01:11:14,167 --> 01:11:16,375
And he's inviting you?
1448
01:11:16,375 --> 01:11:18,625
And this is his idea of
a wedding invitation?
1449
01:11:18,667 --> 01:11:20,417
Talk about no taste.
1450
01:11:20,458 --> 01:11:21,583
It gets worse.
1451
01:11:21,625 --> 01:11:22,708
Don't even.
1452
01:11:22,750 --> 01:11:24,208
He wants you to play
at the wedding.
1453
01:11:24,208 --> 01:11:25,208
Us.
1454
01:11:25,208 --> 01:11:25,750
Yeah.
1455
01:11:25,792 --> 01:11:26,708
He wants the quartet.
1456
01:11:26,708 --> 01:11:28,042
Well, we're not doing that.
1457
01:11:28,083 --> 01:11:29,167
And I don't even understand,
1458
01:11:29,208 --> 01:11:30,708
why would he want you to be
there at the wedding?
1459
01:11:30,708 --> 01:11:31,917
Maybe he feels guilty.
1460
01:11:31,958 --> 01:11:35,042
I don't know, maybe he feels
like he's doing me a big favour.
1461
01:11:35,083 --> 01:11:36,208
How is this a favour?
1462
01:11:36,208 --> 01:11:37,542
The girl's family is loaded.
1463
01:11:37,542 --> 01:11:40,542
Ok, so we're absolutely
doing it.
1464
01:11:40,542 --> 01:11:42,417
But Jeff is a tool.
1465
01:11:42,458 --> 01:11:44,292
And not a sharp one.
1466
01:11:45,458 --> 01:11:46,708
Do you know, Luce, when uh,
1467
01:11:46,750 --> 01:11:50,583
when Sharon left me
for Jennifer...
1468
01:11:50,625 --> 01:11:53,250
it was more the rejection
that hurt.
1469
01:11:53,292 --> 01:11:54,667
Not necessarily her leaving.
1470
01:11:54,708 --> 01:11:57,500
Honestly, I don't really care
about Jeff leaving.
1471
01:11:57,542 --> 01:11:58,750
And who wants to have
super lame sex
1472
01:11:58,792 --> 01:12:00,542
the rest of their life, anyway?
1473
01:12:00,542 --> 01:12:01,625
Uh, I do.
1474
01:12:01,667 --> 01:12:05,792
Lame sex, virtual sex,
the faint possibility of sex,
1475
01:12:05,833 --> 01:12:07,833
any of which would be more
than I'm currently getting.
1476
01:12:07,875 --> 01:12:09,667
I can't even get my hand
to have sex with me anymore.
1477
01:12:09,708 --> 01:12:12,125
Yeah, well, maybe if you dressed
up your hand like a redhead
1478
01:12:12,167 --> 01:12:14,667
who cooks, loves musicals,
and has a PhD...
1479
01:12:14,708 --> 01:12:16,708
I'm sad to report
that my standards
1480
01:12:16,750 --> 01:12:18,750
have dropped somewhat
significantly.
1481
01:12:18,792 --> 01:12:19,583
Oh yeah?
1482
01:12:19,625 --> 01:12:21,125
Well, what is your type
these days?
1483
01:12:21,167 --> 01:12:22,625
Willing.
1484
01:12:23,750 --> 01:12:24,583
And I've got to go to Vegas
for a bachelor party.
1485
01:12:24,625 --> 01:12:27,292
I swear, all those boobs
I can't touch
1486
01:12:27,333 --> 01:12:28,750
might just be the end of me.
1487
01:12:28,792 --> 01:12:30,708
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
no one over the age of two
1488
01:12:30,750 --> 01:12:33,708
has ever died
from lack of boob.
1489
01:12:33,708 --> 01:12:34,542
That's a valid point.
1490
01:12:34,542 --> 01:12:36,792
Wait a second,
when are you leaving?
1491
01:12:36,833 --> 01:12:37,708
For Vegas?
1492
01:12:37,708 --> 01:12:38,708
Yeah.
1493
01:12:38,708 --> 01:12:40,750
Tomorrow, why?
1494
01:12:40,792 --> 01:12:42,375
Because I need to finish
my list
1495
01:12:42,417 --> 01:12:43,708
and there's this Vegas thing
on there.
1496
01:12:43,750 --> 01:12:45,708
No, no, no, you need
to finish it
1497
01:12:45,708 --> 01:12:47,083
because Jeff's getting married.
1498
01:12:47,125 --> 01:12:48,042
No, I-
1499
01:12:48,083 --> 01:12:49,292
Besides, Grant's
gonna be there.
1500
01:12:49,333 --> 01:12:50,708
I don't care if Grant's
gonna be there.
1501
01:12:50,708 --> 01:12:53,208
I just need to finish my list,
alright?
1502
01:12:53,208 --> 01:12:55,375
And you're gonna help me.
1503
01:12:55,417 --> 01:12:56,417
So just embarrassing me
1504
01:12:56,458 --> 01:12:58,542
at the strip club wasn't enough
for you, was it?
1505
01:12:58,583 --> 01:12:59,750
This'll be so much better.
1506
01:12:59,792 --> 01:13:00,583
Will it be, though?
1507
01:13:00,625 --> 01:13:01,625
Yeah.
1508
01:13:02,500 --> 01:13:04,333
Could I get more needles
in here, please?
1509
01:13:04,375 --> 01:13:05,667
Tensing up!
1510
01:13:41,708 --> 01:13:43,375
You need to have sex.
1511
01:13:43,417 --> 01:13:45,208
And I have to finish
my list.
1512
01:13:45,250 --> 01:13:46,708
So it's a win-win.
1513
01:13:46,708 --> 01:13:47,875
Um, for losers.
1514
01:13:47,875 --> 01:13:50,583
So I'm not sure we come out
on the right side of this.
1515
01:13:50,625 --> 01:13:51,750
Ok.
1516
01:13:51,792 --> 01:13:54,375
Here is who's working today.
1517
01:13:56,417 --> 01:13:57,333
Nope.
1518
01:13:57,375 --> 01:13:58,375
Can't do it.
1519
01:13:58,375 --> 01:13:59,042
Do you know what?
1520
01:13:59,083 --> 01:14:00,292
They're probably all diseased.
1521
01:14:00,333 --> 01:14:02,375
No, you're more likely to catch
something in a sorority house.
1522
01:14:02,375 --> 01:14:03,583
See?
1523
01:14:03,625 --> 01:14:06,208
Here is a whole information
sheet about their weekly tests,
1524
01:14:06,208 --> 01:14:08,167
how they check each customer
for symptoms,
1525
01:14:08,208 --> 01:14:11,625
and clean everyone's genitals
with anti-bacterial-
1526
01:14:11,667 --> 01:14:13,292
How about we don't use
the word "genitals"?
1527
01:14:13,333 --> 01:14:14,833
Will you please just go
in there and do the deed
1528
01:14:14,875 --> 01:14:16,042
so you can report back?
1529
01:14:16,083 --> 01:14:18,083
Why don't you just go inside
and do the deed and report back?
1530
01:14:18,125 --> 01:14:20,042
Because they don't service
lesbians or straight girls
1531
01:14:20,083 --> 01:14:21,417
who like sex with women.
1532
01:14:21,458 --> 01:14:23,625
How do you know they
don't service women?
1533
01:14:23,667 --> 01:14:26,417
Oh my god, you called
and asked for yourself.
1534
01:14:26,458 --> 01:14:29,042
Wow, you really have
turned over a new leaf.
1535
01:14:29,083 --> 01:14:32,458
Look, you buy women
nice dinners all the time
1536
01:14:32,500 --> 01:14:33,708
hoping to get sex out of it,
correct?
1537
01:14:33,750 --> 01:14:35,500
What?
1538
01:14:35,542 --> 01:14:36,583
Pfff.
1539
01:14:38,583 --> 01:14:39,250
I- I do.
1540
01:14:39,292 --> 01:14:40,458
Yeah.
1541
01:14:40,500 --> 01:14:43,625
So that's just a more honest
side of the exact same coin,
1542
01:14:43,667 --> 01:14:46,375
and it's perfectly natural.
1543
01:14:47,375 --> 01:14:49,500
I'm not going in there alone.
1544
01:14:49,542 --> 01:14:52,167
Well, great, let's get
in there.
1545
01:14:52,208 --> 01:14:54,542
Wow. Called my bluff.
1546
01:14:56,875 --> 01:14:58,792
Oh boy, this is happening.
1547
01:15:01,208 --> 01:15:02,708
Hey, sweetheart.
1548
01:15:02,750 --> 01:15:04,333
You worry too much.
1549
01:15:04,375 --> 01:15:07,167
I told you there'd be other
normal people here.
1550
01:15:07,208 --> 01:15:08,292
Howdy, fellas.
1551
01:15:08,333 --> 01:15:10,042
How y'all doin' today?
1552
01:15:10,083 --> 01:15:12,750
We're here to get her some,
if you know what I mean.
1553
01:15:12,792 --> 01:15:15,250
Ain't that right,
honey bunch?
1554
01:15:15,292 --> 01:15:17,667
It's a perfectly natural thing.
1555
01:15:17,708 --> 01:15:20,042
What dialect is that?
1556
01:15:20,083 --> 01:15:21,208
Is it not southern?
1557
01:15:21,250 --> 01:15:22,583
Not at all.
1558
01:15:22,625 --> 01:15:24,792
And just to be clear,
this is already not worth it.
1559
01:15:24,833 --> 01:15:27,583
Just so we are clear, am I to
share your girl or get my own?
1560
01:15:27,625 --> 01:15:30,542
I mean, we've not really worked
out any of the details here.
1561
01:15:32,208 --> 01:15:33,292
Oh.
1562
01:15:34,875 --> 01:15:36,208
Interesting.
1563
01:15:36,792 --> 01:15:39,792
Ladies? Please say hello.
1564
01:15:40,708 --> 01:15:43,542
Just like that, here they come,
down the staircase.
1565
01:15:43,583 --> 01:15:45,667
Oh, that's a nice dress.
1566
01:15:46,625 --> 01:15:48,042
Thank you.
1567
01:15:48,500 --> 01:15:50,083
I need to go to the bathroom.
1568
01:15:50,125 --> 01:15:53,292
Uh... I can't do this.
1569
01:15:53,333 --> 01:15:54,458
I'm so, so sorry.
1570
01:15:54,500 --> 01:15:55,500
May I squeeze through?
1571
01:15:55,542 --> 01:15:57,542
Good luck.
1572
01:15:58,250 --> 01:16:00,375
What happened to your boyfriend?
1573
01:16:00,417 --> 01:16:02,583
Oh, no, he's not
my boyfriend.
1574
01:16:02,625 --> 01:16:06,542
He's more of a colleague.
1575
01:16:06,583 --> 01:16:08,500
Excuse me, doll?
1576
01:16:08,542 --> 01:16:11,292
We don't service
single women here.
1577
01:16:11,333 --> 01:16:15,375
Actually, I want to apply
for a job.
1578
01:16:16,417 --> 01:16:17,583
As...?
1579
01:16:17,625 --> 01:16:19,583
As a... you know,
1580
01:16:19,625 --> 01:16:22,292
what they are- do.
1581
01:16:22,333 --> 01:16:23,500
Hi.
1582
01:16:23,542 --> 01:16:26,208
You want to be a working girl.
1583
01:16:26,208 --> 01:16:27,583
Yeah.
1584
01:16:34,375 --> 01:16:35,500
Wow.
1585
01:16:35,542 --> 01:16:36,792
How'd it go?
1586
01:16:36,833 --> 01:16:40,375
Well, I applied to be
one of the girls.
1587
01:16:40,375 --> 01:16:41,542
I'm sorry, what?
1588
01:16:41,542 --> 01:16:44,208
Well, I didn't get the job,
obviously.
1589
01:16:44,208 --> 01:16:45,417
So quick question.
1590
01:16:45,458 --> 01:16:46,750
When I tell the story later,
1591
01:16:46,792 --> 01:16:48,333
which do you think is going
to be better?
1592
01:16:48,375 --> 01:16:50,083
The fact that you applied
to be a prostitute
1593
01:16:50,125 --> 01:16:51,458
or that you didn't get
the job?
1594
01:16:51,500 --> 01:16:53,125
Anyway, I'm really sorry
1595
01:16:53,167 --> 01:16:54,500
that you're late for
your bachelor party.
1596
01:16:54,542 --> 01:16:55,250
No, that's alright.
1597
01:16:55,292 --> 01:16:56,208
I'll just tell them
the truth,
1598
01:16:56,208 --> 01:16:58,292
that you got hung up
at a job interview.
1599
01:16:58,333 --> 01:16:59,583
I'm just teasing.
1600
01:16:59,625 --> 01:17:01,417
They'd be lucky
to have you.
1601
01:17:01,458 --> 01:17:02,583
Thank you.
1602
01:17:18,167 --> 01:17:19,250
Here we are, huh?
1603
01:17:19,292 --> 01:17:21,708
Well, I mean, are you sure you
don't wanna come along?
1604
01:17:21,708 --> 01:17:23,542
You can always be the
entertainment package.
1605
01:17:23,583 --> 01:17:26,167
No, I'm just gonna
wander around.
1606
01:17:26,208 --> 01:17:27,000
Alright.
1607
01:17:27,042 --> 01:17:28,542
All I want right now
is a quiet bar
1608
01:17:28,542 --> 01:17:31,042
and an artfully
crafted cocktail.
1609
01:17:31,083 --> 01:17:31,667
Fair enough.
1610
01:17:31,708 --> 01:17:32,333
Have fun!
1611
01:17:32,375 --> 01:17:33,667
Alright, have a good night!
1612
01:17:35,542 --> 01:17:37,458
Woooo!
1613
01:17:41,500 --> 01:17:42,667
Yes!
1614
01:17:43,458 --> 01:17:44,667
Ooh, that's strong.
1615
01:17:44,708 --> 01:17:46,292
Let's take a picture.
1616
01:17:46,500 --> 01:17:47,792
My new friends.
1617
01:17:47,833 --> 01:17:50,333
One, two, three.
1618
01:17:52,500 --> 01:17:53,750
Alright, Vegas.
1619
01:17:53,792 --> 01:17:56,625
Welcome to karaoke night
at the Blue Saloon.
1620
01:17:56,667 --> 01:17:58,625
Up next we've got...
1621
01:18:00,708 --> 01:18:02,375
Lucy Neal.
1622
01:18:02,417 --> 01:18:03,375
Come on up.
1623
01:18:03,417 --> 01:18:04,375
What?
1624
01:18:04,417 --> 01:18:05,417
Oh, no.
1625
01:18:05,458 --> 01:18:07,208
No, I didn't sign up.
1626
01:18:07,208 --> 01:18:09,375
Well, someone put your name
in there.
1627
01:18:10,417 --> 01:18:14,083
Well... actually,
I don't sing.
1628
01:18:14,125 --> 01:18:15,375
What do you do, then?
1629
01:18:15,375 --> 01:18:19,833
Um... I'm a violinist?
1630
01:18:19,875 --> 01:18:21,417
Oh.
1631
01:18:22,708 --> 01:18:24,083
Well then why don't
you come down
1632
01:18:24,125 --> 01:18:25,042
and play some violin for us?
1633
01:18:25,083 --> 01:18:25,500
Oh, no, no, no.
1634
01:18:25,542 --> 01:18:26,167
No, I'm good.
1635
01:18:26,208 --> 01:18:27,208
Thank you.
1636
01:18:27,208 --> 01:18:28,375
Come on, there's only like
five people in here.
1637
01:18:28,417 --> 01:18:29,708
What've you got to lose?
1638
01:18:29,750 --> 01:18:31,333
Get up here, have some fun.
1639
01:18:31,833 --> 01:18:33,208
Crap.
1640
01:18:33,417 --> 01:18:34,667
Ok.
1641
01:18:36,208 --> 01:18:38,208
Not cool, guys.
1642
01:18:39,083 --> 01:18:40,333
Give it up for Lucy.
1643
01:18:43,583 --> 01:18:45,708
I play classical mostly.
1644
01:18:45,750 --> 01:18:46,583
Don't worry about it.
1645
01:18:46,625 --> 01:18:48,083
Just play along.
We're in the key of G.
1646
01:18:48,125 --> 01:18:48,625
It's an original.
1647
01:18:48,667 --> 01:18:50,083
There's your bow.
1648
01:18:52,250 --> 01:18:53,542
Are you guys ready?
1649
01:21:02,250 --> 01:21:02,750
Yeah!
1650
01:21:02,792 --> 01:21:04,042
Alright, Lucy!
1651
01:21:05,333 --> 01:21:07,042
Yeah.
1652
01:21:07,083 --> 01:21:09,250
Well done.
1653
01:21:09,292 --> 01:21:11,375
Alright, let's see
who's up next.
1654
01:21:11,375 --> 01:21:14,042
Anyone else have any
hidden talents out there?
1655
01:21:16,375 --> 01:21:17,708
What're you doing here?
1656
01:21:17,708 --> 01:21:21,375
Shouldn't you be at the bachelor
party with Paul?
1657
01:21:21,417 --> 01:21:24,208
Paul showed me the picture
you texted him
1658
01:21:24,208 --> 01:21:27,458
of you and the posse
of Harvard boys.
1659
01:21:27,500 --> 01:21:28,667
I recognized the bar so-
1660
01:21:28,708 --> 01:21:29,375
What, so you-
1661
01:21:29,417 --> 01:21:31,292
Thought I'd come looking
for you.
1662
01:21:31,333 --> 01:21:33,792
Please tell me you've got
better than that.
1663
01:21:37,542 --> 01:21:39,500
How about I tell you how sorry
I am that I fell off
1664
01:21:39,542 --> 01:21:41,542
the face of the earth?
1665
01:21:43,250 --> 01:21:44,542
I was an idiot.
1666
01:21:44,542 --> 01:21:47,292
Why didn't you call?
1667
01:21:47,333 --> 01:21:49,542
A bunch of reasons.
1668
01:21:49,542 --> 01:21:51,333
None of them good.
1669
01:21:53,167 --> 01:21:54,208
Ok, look.
1670
01:21:54,250 --> 01:21:55,667
This has been fun and thank you
for whatever this is
1671
01:21:55,708 --> 01:21:56,375
but I am not-
1672
01:21:56,375 --> 01:21:57,417
But- but wait.
1673
01:21:57,458 --> 01:22:00,292
Can I just have one second?
1674
01:22:00,333 --> 01:22:04,542
Meeting you was
a big surprise.
1675
01:22:04,542 --> 01:22:09,375
And then I realized how much
I really liked you.
1676
01:22:09,375 --> 01:22:10,375
But then I- I just-
1677
01:22:10,417 --> 01:22:13,208
Decided to show your
considerable appreciation
1678
01:22:13,250 --> 01:22:17,208
by sleeping with me
and then running out?
1679
01:22:17,208 --> 01:22:19,667
It's just- it's a scary
proposition.
1680
01:22:19,708 --> 01:22:20,542
What's scary?
1681
01:22:20,542 --> 01:22:21,083
I'm scary?
1682
01:22:21,125 --> 01:22:24,083
What is scary about me?
1683
01:22:27,375 --> 01:22:32,167
For starters, you're
obsessed with sex.
1684
01:22:36,750 --> 01:22:42,458
Look, you came around
at a really weird time.
1685
01:22:42,500 --> 01:22:44,542
And I know the list is bizarre
1686
01:22:44,542 --> 01:22:48,208
but I've got something
important to prove.
1687
01:22:48,208 --> 01:22:49,375
Prove what? To who?
1688
01:22:49,417 --> 01:22:51,208
To myself.
1689
01:22:53,875 --> 01:23:00,417
I guess... I need to prove
to myself that I'm enough.
1690
01:23:09,292 --> 01:23:11,458
Leaving like that
was a mistake.
1691
01:23:11,500 --> 01:23:14,792
Not calling you
was a mistake.
1692
01:23:14,833 --> 01:23:17,750
Will you please forgive me?
1693
01:23:35,375 --> 01:23:36,542
Sorry.
1694
01:23:41,792 --> 01:23:42,250
Woah, woah, woah.
1695
01:23:42,292 --> 01:23:43,250
Wait. Wait. Stop.
1696
01:23:43,292 --> 01:23:44,000
Stop?
1697
01:23:44,042 --> 01:23:46,250
I don't wanna hurt
the baby.
1698
01:23:46,292 --> 01:23:47,833
What?
1699
01:23:47,875 --> 01:23:52,125
Um... I'm not pregnant.
1700
01:23:52,167 --> 01:23:53,417
I beg your pardon?
1701
01:23:53,458 --> 01:23:54,167
Wait-
1702
01:23:54,208 --> 01:23:55,250
You're not?
1703
01:23:55,292 --> 01:23:57,792
I know- I know
I've been emotional
1704
01:23:57,833 --> 01:24:00,542
and like I'm craving some weird
stuff, but oh my- oh my god,
1705
01:24:00,583 --> 01:24:01,208
do I look pregnant?
1706
01:24:01,208 --> 01:24:02,167
No, no, no.
1707
01:24:02,208 --> 01:24:02,958
You're not emotional.
1708
01:24:03,000 --> 01:24:04,208
You look stunning
and beautiful.
1709
01:24:04,250 --> 01:24:10,250
It's uh, at your house you had
maternity pants on the chair.
1710
01:24:10,292 --> 01:24:12,750
Honestly, I saw the pants
and I freaked out
1711
01:24:12,792 --> 01:24:15,042
and that's why I left.
1712
01:24:15,083 --> 01:24:17,208
Oh my god.
1713
01:24:17,250 --> 01:24:19,208
What?
1714
01:24:19,250 --> 01:24:20,208
Oh my god.
1715
01:24:20,208 --> 01:24:23,708
You left because you thought
I was pregnant?
1716
01:24:23,750 --> 01:24:25,208
It's a scary proposition.
1717
01:24:30,292 --> 01:24:31,417
Wow.
1718
01:24:34,583 --> 01:24:36,083
Wait.
1719
01:24:37,208 --> 01:24:40,542
You thought that and you
still wanted to be with me.
1720
01:24:50,458 --> 01:24:51,833
We like the same books.
1721
01:24:51,875 --> 01:24:53,333
Mmm.
1722
01:24:53,375 --> 01:24:55,125
Not in the same order.
1723
01:24:55,167 --> 01:24:56,208
You're right.
1724
01:24:56,250 --> 01:24:58,375
It's never gonna work.
1725
01:25:25,083 --> 01:25:26,042
Luce, it's Paul.
1726
01:25:26,083 --> 01:25:26,750
You're never gonna believe this.
1727
01:25:26,792 --> 01:25:27,875
I've met the girl of my dreams.
1728
01:25:27,875 --> 01:25:30,375
Her name is Destiny and yes,
she is a stripper.
1729
01:25:30,375 --> 01:25:32,042
Let me tell you...
1730
01:25:35,167 --> 01:25:36,833
Hi Lucy, Howard Gregson.
1731
01:25:36,875 --> 01:25:40,042
Our committee loved
your audition but ultimately
1732
01:25:40,083 --> 01:25:42,542
decided your playing
is too expansive.
1733
01:25:42,542 --> 01:25:45,250
A hair uninhibited
for our conductor.
1734
01:25:45,292 --> 01:25:48,083
But I think your skills
are just a bit misplaced.
1735
01:25:48,125 --> 01:25:50,083
To that end I have an
opportunity coming up
1736
01:25:50,125 --> 01:25:51,750
in a couple of weeks.
1737
01:26:17,458 --> 01:26:18,750
-Hey.
-Hey.
1738
01:26:18,792 --> 01:26:19,792
You all ready
for the wedding?
1739
01:26:19,833 --> 01:26:23,125
Yes, but there's something
we need to do first.
1740
01:26:30,375 --> 01:26:32,083
Wow.
1741
01:26:32,125 --> 01:26:33,792
Well, you've still got one
more thing on your list.
1742
01:26:33,833 --> 01:26:35,292
Oh.
1743
01:26:35,333 --> 01:26:36,458
Yes, I do.
1744
01:26:36,500 --> 01:26:38,042
Let's go.
1745
01:26:45,333 --> 01:26:45,875
There you go.
1746
01:26:45,875 --> 01:26:46,833
Thank you guys so much.
1747
01:26:46,875 --> 01:26:48,375
Thank you.
1748
01:26:48,417 --> 01:26:49,292
-Hi.
-Hi.
1749
01:26:49,333 --> 01:26:50,208
Hey.
1750
01:26:50,208 --> 01:26:51,250
Who can I make it out to?
1751
01:26:51,292 --> 01:26:52,167
Uh, Lucy.
1752
01:26:52,208 --> 01:26:54,083
Yeah, she's a big fan.
1753
01:26:54,125 --> 01:26:56,125
Um, how do I spell that?
1754
01:26:57,833 --> 01:27:00,708
Actually, there's a much
bigger fan
1755
01:27:00,750 --> 01:27:03,500
that you should make this
out to.
1756
01:27:05,833 --> 01:27:09,208
I mean, this is just so Jeff.
1757
01:27:10,708 --> 01:27:11,792
Care to dance?
1758
01:27:11,833 --> 01:27:14,042
Yes, I would love to.
1759
01:27:33,375 --> 01:27:35,333
Ok, Stan.
1760
01:27:35,375 --> 01:27:36,750
Woo!
1761
01:27:36,792 --> 01:27:37,375
Hey, there she is.
1762
01:27:37,375 --> 01:27:39,208
Here, come on.
Switch.
1763
01:27:39,250 --> 01:27:40,417
Oh.
1764
01:27:41,375 --> 01:27:42,583
Hey, congratulations.
1765
01:27:42,625 --> 01:27:43,333
Oh, thanks.
1766
01:27:43,375 --> 01:27:45,125
And thanks for playing
for us.
1767
01:27:45,167 --> 01:27:47,333
The force is strong
with you.
1768
01:27:50,958 --> 01:27:52,292
Mind if I...?
1769
01:27:53,333 --> 01:27:54,708
That's cool.
1770
01:27:56,375 --> 01:27:58,375
Thanks for doing this.
1771
01:27:58,375 --> 01:28:00,083
The price was right.
1772
01:28:00,125 --> 01:28:01,000
Is that the only reason?
1773
01:28:01,042 --> 01:28:05,208
No. Well, maybe.
Ok, yes. It was. But...
1774
01:28:05,250 --> 01:28:06,167
Ok.
1775
01:28:06,208 --> 01:28:07,708
I'm glad I did.
1776
01:28:07,750 --> 01:28:08,708
I'm glad we're good.
1777
01:28:08,708 --> 01:28:10,333
Me too.
1778
01:28:10,375 --> 01:28:11,333
Uh, I gotta ask you.
1779
01:28:11,375 --> 01:28:15,750
Um, whatever happened
to that list you had?
1780
01:28:15,792 --> 01:28:17,750
The interesting one?
1781
01:28:17,792 --> 01:28:20,625
Wait until you see the wedding
gift I got for you.
1782
01:28:37,375 --> 01:28:39,708
I can't find it.
1783
01:28:39,708 --> 01:28:43,292
That's because
it's right here.
1784
01:28:45,083 --> 01:28:48,292
And I can't wait to give it
to you.
1785
01:28:57,542 --> 01:28:58,792
I'm... married.
1786
01:28:58,833 --> 01:29:00,667
I'm- I got married.
1787
01:29:00,708 --> 01:29:03,333
I'm married today.
1788
01:29:05,833 --> 01:29:07,833
Thank you so much
for doing this.
1789
01:29:07,875 --> 01:29:09,375
What can I say?
1790
01:29:09,417 --> 01:29:10,667
I believe in love.
1791
01:29:10,708 --> 01:29:12,792
Hey, Luce, all the bridesmaids
are twerking
1792
01:29:12,833 --> 01:29:14,250
on the dance floor...
1793
01:29:14,292 --> 01:29:16,333
Hi.
1794
01:29:16,375 --> 01:29:17,208
I'm Paul.
1795
01:29:17,250 --> 01:29:19,750
I'm Honey.
1796
01:29:19,792 --> 01:29:22,708
Delighted.
1797
01:29:22,708 --> 01:29:24,208
Are you gonna ask me
to dance?
1798
01:29:24,208 --> 01:29:25,208
Yes, yes I am.
1799
01:29:25,208 --> 01:29:26,750
Right this way, please.
1800
01:29:36,125 --> 01:29:37,417
Alright, ladies and gentlemen,
1801
01:29:37,458 --> 01:29:40,125
there's only a few songs left
so get out on the dance floor.
1802
01:29:40,167 --> 01:29:43,083
Let's celebrate
Jeff and Anne tonight.
1803
01:29:43,125 --> 01:29:44,708
Let's send them off
with style.
1804
01:29:44,750 --> 01:29:48,417
Don't forget to tip
your bartender.
1805
01:30:04,500 --> 01:30:05,208
What?
118008
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