All language subtitles for That.70s.Show.S07E19.1080p.BluRay.x264-YELLOWBiRD

Okay, the game is Password.

The box says,
"Using one-word clues,

"get your partner
to say the secret word

"without using the word
yourself."

- Okay, what if...
- Donna, please.

I already read the box.

- But, Fez...
- I said "box."

Okay, here are your
secret words and good luck.

Okay, Eric, staircase.

Jedi.

I'm sorry, that's wrong.

Hyde?

Um...

Fat.

Staircase.

Fat.

- Escalator.
- Yes.

That is correct.

- What?
- What the hell?

Jackie, see me later
for your prize.

Oh, we are so better than you.

Eric, how did you get "Jedi"
from "staircase"?

Donna, the path to becoming
a Jedi has many steps, duh.

You guys, I just took my
baby girl to the playground,

and she's just like her daddy.

She's way cuter than all the
other babies, and she eats bugs.

Wow, Michael, you've spent every
weekend this month with Betsy.

The only other thing you've done
this consistently was cheat on me.

That's not true, he also glues
himself to stuff with amazing regularity.

Whatever.

Look, Brooke is totally starting
to trust me now with Betsy,

and she's letting me
pick out Betsy's godparents.

And she only has one rule,
it can't be Fez.

Well, that is a smart rule.

Godparents? Like we need
any more responsibilities.

I know, such a burden.

Okay, so I've been thinking
about this a lot, all right?

And it's a big deal, so...

- Eric, Donna.
- Uh-oh.

Please, skootch over so I can
ask Hyde and Jackie

if they'll be
Betsy's godparents.

- What the hell?
- Hyde and Jackie?

We win.

I was voted most popular,
best legs, and now, Godmother.

What can't I do?

And the password is
burn.

♪ Hanging out

♪ Down the street

♪ The same old thing

♪ We did last week

♪ Not a thing to do

♪ But talk to you

♪ We're all all right

♪ We're all all right ♪

Hello, Wisconsin!

Oh, my God,
this place is a mess.

Well, it's obvious,
you've had a break-in.

And that pizza box is a clue.

Yep, they're Italian.

Someone broke into my store.
What if they stole something?

Oh, no.

It's okay, my stash is safe.

Not entirely.

I got into it
a little bit yesterday.

You guys, what are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do?
We don't have to do nothing.

Nothing big was taken,
probably some kids having fun.

Fun?

Yeah, you know, fun,
that thing you've never had.

I have plenty of fun, okay.
Michael, I'm fun, right?

You're good-looking.

Well, I think you would make
a great godparent, Eric.

You were so sweet
with your pet fish.

Remember, you'd feed it
potato chips and say,

"Look, everybody,
fish and chips."

All I remember is flushing it
down the toilet when he killed it.

Who takes a fish
out of the tank?

I just needed to hug something.

Why do you think
Kelso didn't choose us?

Well, picking godparents
can be very nerve-racking.

When Laurie was born, we
agonized over that decision for weeks.

And we chose well. Mike
and Cookie were good people.

Wait, so, who are my godparents?

Well, they're the...

The Hoffenschnoppers.

I'm sorry, the who?

The Hingingloobers.

Okay, I think you just said
the Hoffenschnoppers,

and then you said
the Hingingloobers.

And I'm not sure,
but I don't think we know

any Hoffenschnoppers
or Hingingloobers.

Come on, what's supposed to
happen to me if you guys die?

Maybe you'll finally move out
and get a job.

You know, the responsibilities
of being a godmother never ends.

You know, I spent all day
buying matching outfits.

You know, life is so much more
fulfilling now that I'm shopping for two.

Okay, being a godmother
isn't all about buying stuff.

Oh, yeah?
What's it about then?

Oh, you don't know, either.

You guys, great news.

Brooke is gonna let me
have Betsy on the weekends.

Oh, my God. If Betsy's
coming here on weekends,

we're gonna need matching
godmother-goddaughter badminton skirts.

Now you're just trying
to make me mad.

Okay, you know what? We don't
have to stand here and take this.

- Yeah.
- Let's go.

Where are we going?

I don't know, but we are just going
to stand outside until they leave.

Well, I am proud of you, Michael,
getting so involved in your baby's life.

A child needs
a strong, loving father.

Well, I am glad
you feel that way.

So you won't mind,
when Betsy visits,

if we stay up in Laurie's room?

No.

No babies.

We get enough crying
around here with Eric.

Come on, Laurie's not using it.

It's a great room
with a very comfortable bed.

How the hell
would you know that?

The... Laurie always
had such good posture.

That indicates
a quality mattress.

- What's wrong
with your house, honey?
- It's not safe.

If my brothers don't step on
her, one of the dogs probably will.

- You have dogs?
- No, we don't know
whose they are.

- Hey, you're here early.
- Not early enough.

We were broken into again.

Well, at least these kids
leave more than they take.

We're not being robbed, man,
we're being cluttered.

- I'm calling the cops.
- No, don't call the cops.

Why not?

'Cause then they show up
and they act all coppy.

You know what I think?

I think you're the one
coming in here at night.

Why would I come here
when I have a house?

Well, a basement.

Why don't you tell me about
the $10 missing from the register?

Are you accusing me of stealing?

Well, you don't want me
to call the cops.

And of all the people I know,
and I know 28 people,

you are, by far,
the most likely to burgle.

Yeah, you know, I don't actually
have to take this from you, Angie.

- I thought
you didn't call the cops?
- I didn't.

Guys, I don't know
how to turn off the siren.

Hey, Fez, let me
ask you a question.

If you were choosing godparents,

wouldn't you choose
Donna and me?

Well, in my country
we don't have godparents.

If something happens to
your parents, tough crap.

You're a bum.

You Americans
and your safety nets.

Hey, Eric,
are your folks around?

Why, do you wanna bestow some
honor on them that we should rightly have?

No, I'm trying to sneak this
crib up into Laurie's room,

and I figure if I get it up there,
there's no way they can get it down

'cause they're too old.

Kelso, I just can't believe
you picked Hyde over me.

I mean, what exactly was your
criteria in choosing a godparent?

I mean, was it the ability
to shoplift a keg?

My reasons are complicated.

Complicated or stupid?

There are elements of both.

Down.

- But...
- Down.

Well, we were broken into
again last night,

but you already know that
since it was you.

Yeah, you busted me, Angie.

Sneaking into my own store so I
can eat pizza and listen to Neil Sedaka.

After the second break-in, I had Michael
install a hidden surveillance camera.

It's the same one
he tried to use in my shower.

You spied on me?

Yep, and I thought we could watch
the tape, for the first time, together.

Hey, I'm watching Perry Mason.

Oh, guess what?
Perry Mason wins.

It's not if he wins, it's how.
That's the magic, damn it.

Oh, look, there's Michael.

Even when he's not here,
I have to see his ass.

I've seen it almost as many
times as I've seen his face.

Oh, look. Someone's coming in.

Fez?

Hey, Red, am I late for Perry
Mason? Ooh! Who's that handsome...

Uh-oh.

- Fez, what are you
doing there?
- It was a secret.

I... I thought I was alone.

Okay, I know Fez pretty well
and if he thought he was alone,

we need to stop
this tape right now.

Fez, man, why were you staying
at the record store?

Well, last week
my Bible-thumping host parents

found out that
I already graduated,

so they kicked me out and
took all my money as back rent.

And then they gave me a Bible.

Well, I wish
you'd been reading that

instead of the porno magazines
I found in my office.

You know, Angie, some things
you could keep to yourself.

I don't understand why you
didn't just ask us for help.

I mean, we're your friends.

It was my damn Latin pride.

- So you're Latin.
- No, just my pride is.

And I also have
a Swiss sense of frugality.

Steven, how could you not know
your friend was a hobo?

Well, now that I think about it,
some things do make more sense.

- Hey, man, where the hell
are my keys?
- Oh, here they are.

I just borrowed them,
but I didn't make a copy.

- Why would you make a copy?
- Why would I borrow them?

- To make a copy?
- Why would I make a copy?

Okay.

- Did you just take
a shower here?
- No.

- Why are you wearing a towel?
- Because otherwise
I'd be naked.

Oh, there they are.

Hey, I was just happy he's
wearing underwear again, all right?

I can't believe Kelso didn't choose
us. What could be wrong with us?

Well, there's nothing
wrong with you.

I love you just the way you are.

- Yeah, and I love you
just the way you...
- Although, well...

It might be that
you don't have a job.

Oh, here it comes.

You've just been dying to
get this off your chest, huh?

I don't have a job.
I play with toys.

Maybe you'd like to talk about how I
didn't show up for the wedding, too?

Oh, well, I don't need
to talk about that

because I relive it every
morning when I wake up alone.

Oh, really? Well,
you used to be a redhead.

You dyed your hair. God, it's like
everything about you now is so fake.

Whoa!

You said you loved my hair.

I had to say that, Donna,
to keep you happy.

You trap people,
you're a trapper.

Nobody wants a trapper
for a godmother.

Wait a minute.
What are we doing?

You know what?
You're right, let's back up.

Man, why do we want to be
godparents so bad?

Well, I want it for the joy of
nurturing the spiritual growth of a child.

- I want it for the prestige.
- Yeah, me, too. I was just saying that.

Hello.

Man, why does everybody
look so serious?

Did the Goodyear Blimp crash?

Why?

No reason.

Some people shoot
bottle rockets at it.

Fez has been living
in the record store

because his host parents
threw him out.

What kind of parents
would kick a child out?

And will they teach me
how they did it?

You wanna be mean?
You don't get a sandwich.

I think what they did to you
is just awful.

- He broke into my store.
- Which you
accused me of doing.

Accusing your own brother?
You don't get a sandwich, either.

Anyway, Fez, maybe you can
stay in Laurie's room.

No.

I would rather fill that room
with cement.

Yeah, respect the man's wishes.

Besides, that room
is for me and Betsy.

I don't get a sandwich.

Okay, I have an idea.

You and Fez both need
a place to live, right?

Yeah.

And living alone can get
kind of lonely, can't it?

Sometimes I cry myself to sleep.

- You see where
I'm going with this?
- I do.

We each get our own apartment and
we call each other on the phone a lot.

Or we could be roommates.

Roommates?

That is an awesome idea.

What were you thinking of,
Ms. Forman?

That you two
should be roommates.

Oh, thanks, but we
already thought of that.

All right, why did you
choose them over us?

- Is it 'cause
I don't have a job?
- Is it because I dyed my hair?

Look, I don't have a job because
Hyde turned me into a burnout.

And I dyed my hair because
Jackie destroyed my self-esteem.

Also, I rock as a blonde.

Are you beginning to see the
influence that they have on people?

I'm telling you,
if you stick with them,

your daughter's just gonna be a
burnout, low self-esteem lump with no job.

All right, you're just trying
to make us look bad.

Yeah, they're doing a decent job
of it. Kelso, why did you pick us?

Oh, great, now I feel awkward.

Look, I picked them because I think
they're gonna last longer than you.

- What?
- They just broke up
and got back together.

Well, at least
they're doing something.

What are you guys doing?
You don't know, nobody knows.

They're just
a safer bet right now.

Oh, my God.

This is better than when
he made us godparents.

We win everything.

Wow. Well, I don't really
have a speech prepared

but I just wanna thank
you guys for sucking.

Look, you guys,

if I knock somebody else up
you're totally on the list.

I can't believe he doesn't
think we're gonna last. It's...

I mean, you don't think
he's right, do you?

Well, I don't know. We have,
kind of, been drifting this last year.

No. No, not drifting,
you know, exploring.

Exploring is drifting, Eric.

Oh, you know what?
This is all your fault.

You're always saying that
something is something else.

God, it's like you're a big,
blonde thesaurus.

- Well, excuse me
for knowing words, Eric.
- Okay, you know what?

This fight keeps going nowhere
and you wanna know why?

We are actually freaking out
over something that Kelso said.

Kelso, the guy
who doesn't understand

how hot dogs survive
in the wild without eyes.

Okay, so you're not...

- You're not worried then?
- No.

I don't know, maybe a
little bit, but I'll tell you what.

- I'm gonna find a job.
- Great. And I am gonna
dye my hair back.

No. Oh, no, no,
the blonde stays.

I'm still using it.

All right, man,
you accused me of stealing.

That's why I've thought up a
very clever way of getting you back.

Today you wear the rainbow Afro.

Actually, you know what?
I don't think so.

Watch this.

♪ Luck be a lady tonight

♪ Luck be a lady tonight

♪ Luck if you've ever
been a lady to begin with... ♪

I don't care about that.

Everybody knows
I sing Sinatra all the time.

Whoa, shoplifter.

Amateur.

Here's two bedrooms
with one-and-a-half baths.

A half bath?

How's the water stay in?

Here's one with a dishwasher.

I don't want another foreigner
living with us.

We don't need
a dishwasher anyway.

- Who's gonna do the dishes?
- We'll just order in.

You never wanna
take me anywhere.