All language subtitles for That.70s.Show.S07E13.1080p.BluRay.x264-YELLOWBiRD

So, Hyde, how are you doing now
that you and Jackie are broken up?

I am the old Hyde again, kept
by no woman, loyal to no man.

Beholden to no comb.

No, Steven, does so use a
comb, it's one of those Afro picks.

You should wear it
sticking out of your hair.

- Hello, Steven.
- Jackie.

You wanna talk?

What would I have to say to you?

I don't know, how about,

"I'm a crazy, spoiled,
whack job, and I'm sorry."

That's no way to
talk to a woman.

Yeah, especially a spoiled,
crazy, whack job.

She's liable to kill you.

Oh, my God.

There's a hundred morons
in my basement.

That's okay, not even
that can ruin this day.

Yes, one man, and only one
man, has the power to ruin his day.

'Tis I.

Nope, not even you can do it.

But really,
who the hell talks like that?

Now, now, Red,
you were happy, remember?

Right. First freeze of winter,

I'm spending
the day ice fishing.

Well, I'll come with you.
Grab a fishing stick for me.

I don't wanna go.

- What? Why not?
- Because I don't
want you to go.

Burn!

Really, I mean, Kitty,
you'd hate it.

It's cold and boring,

and we both know the only ice
you like is in your cocktails.

Nonsense.

We're going ice fishing, and we're
gonna have fun, and that's that.

Yeah.

That's that.

Jackie, seriously, isn't there anything
you wanna say about what you did?

No, I have much more
important things to do with my day.

Donna, what are we
doing with our day?

- I'm going to karate class.
- I knew it'd be
something sweaty.

- You don't have to go.
- No, no, no, I'm going. I'm going.

Now that I'm not with Steven,

I have much more time to do
mannish, unladylike things with you.

I'll give you 50 bucks
to take her back.

50 bucks buys me beer for a
week, freedom lasts a lifetime.

Look at our
poor little tough guy,

hurting others
to ease his own pain.

I think someone needs a tickle.

No, I'm okay.

Look, Hyde, we're your best
friends, and we're here for you, okay.

We're not gonna let you
go through this thing alone.

Would you shut up, Forman?
I'm fine.

You know what, Eric's right.

We're gonna do
what guys do for each other.

A massage train?

No.

But we did get you a present.

It's a great present, guys.

I especially like the teeny
white paper you all wrapped it in.

Yeah, the only thing that could
ruin today is if the Russians set off

that Russian death ray that's
pointed at the White House.

No, seriously. No, I read
about it in a magazine.

Kelso, that was The Flash,
and it is a comic book.

I love comic books.
I wish I had thought bubbles.

You see anything?

Kelso, the Russians
don't have a death ray,

but they do have a stupid ray
and it's pointed directly at you.

No, the Russians do have
a death ray, and I'll prove it.

Operator,
give me the White House.

Kelso, I'm not allowed to make
long distance calls without permission.

Oh, awesome, I'm on hold,

and they're playing that
theme song to the President.

Hail to the Chief.

Thank you, Eric, but I'm trying to
enjoy the President's theme song.

♪ Hanging out

♪ Down the street

♪ The same old thing

♪ We did last week

♪ Not a thing to do

♪ But talk to you

♪ We're all all right

♪ We're all all right

♪ Hello Wisconsin! ♪

Kelso, if you ask the White
House if there's a Russian death ray,

they're gonna
have you committed.

So, yeah, I say go for it.

Well, obviously they won't admit
it. There'd be panic in the streets.

That's why I gotta trick them
into talking about it.

It's what us cops
call "tricking them."

I'm on. Hello? White House?

Yeah, yes, I have
a couple of questions.

Yes, how well is
the President protected?

Well, because someone wants
to hurt the President, that's why.

You're damn right it's a threat,

it's a terrible threat
on the President's life.

Awesome.

What? Where am I right now? I'm in
Red Forman's house in Point Place...

No!

You idiot, you just told
them where we are.

So?

Kelso, you just threatened
the President's life.

They're gonna come
here and arrest us.

No, no,
I'm not threatening his life.

It's the Russians that have
the Russian death ray.

You didn't mention
the death ray.

A-ha! So you admit that
there's a death ray.

Well, this is boring.

Let's do something fun.
Oh, let's play 20 questions.

Kitty, I'm trying to fish.

Okay, you think of something,
I'll ask the questions.

- Is it a thing?
- Yes.

- Is it small?
- Yes.

- Is it a raisin?
- Yes, you win.

Well, you're not even playing.

- What's so great
about ice fishing anyway?
- It was the solitude.

Well, I'm freezing.

This is like that winter we locked
ourselves out of our first apartment.

We had to sit on the stoop,
cuddled up for two hours,

waiting for the landlord
to bring the key.

And then we had to warm
ourselves up in front of the stove

because the heater was broken.

We could warm each
other up right now.

What the hell.

There's a black Ford sedan outside.
Hyde's right, the Feds found us.

Damn it, Kelso.

You finally figure out how to use
a phone, now we're all going to jail.

I think you guys
are overreacting.

There's no way the government
would park a car right outside my house.

Forman, anything you think
the government's not doing,

they are doing.

The only thing they didn't do
is land the man on the moon.

No, no, no, no, no.

Spielberg shot the entire
thing in a Hollywood movie set.

That's how he got
the job for Jaws.

Guys, if that's
a Feds' car outside,

we better dispose
of the evidence right now.

Oh, yeah.

Good job disposing
of all the evidence, you guys.

You better take
this serious, Eric.

We have a lot of
evidence to dispose of,

even more than we had
at the Pink Floyd concert.

Yeah, there is a lot.

And without all the smoke
machines and lasers,

this is just like punishment.

Man,
I never thought I'd say this,

but I wish there were more
people to share this with.

This is a nightmare.
White suit with yellow belt!

Okay, Jackie O couldn't
even pull this off on Easter.

- Donna-san,
you brought a friend?
- Yes, sensei, this is Jackie.

Welcome, Jackie-san.

Now, today we'll be focusing
on self-defense.

Let's say someone is
accosting you in a dark alley.

Oh, that doesn't work for me.

I'd never be in an alley
'cause I'm not poor.

And even if I was ever in an alley,
I'd have a boy with me to protect me.

Jackie, you're not always
gonna be with a guy.

You're not with one now.

- And, no, I don't count.
- Okay.

An assault can happen
anywhere, Jackie-san.

The point is,
someone wants to do you harm.

But they don't.

All right, maybe someone would follow
these other women to do them harm,

but when people follow me,

it's to ask me where I get my hair
done or to just give me presents.

That's true.

- I've seen it.
- Yeah.

This is our third circle and it
hasn't calmed me down at all.

I feel almost more
suspicious than before.

I don't want to get sent back
to my home country.

If I return in shame, I'll get stoned.
And then, you'll throw rocks at me.

Everybody just settle
down, okay. Settle down!

You are all losing your minds!
Who is yelling?

We all just need to keep calm.

That's the door.
We're all gonna die!

It's okay. It's okay.
I know what to do. Okay.

Eric, you answer the door,
we'll all sneak out the back.

What?

Yeah, yeah. No, no,
you'll go to jail,

I'll pull some strings
to get you out.

Point Place PD
has connections with the FBI,

one of our dogs
transferred from there.

May I speak to your parents?

There's no need.

I'll go quietly.

I'm just delivering the hand
vac Mrs. Forman ordered.

Okay, I'm the one who called,

and all I was saying
is beware of the death ray.

Yeah, I'll do that.

By the way, the whole neighborhood
can smell what you're doing.

Oh, my God. Did you see his
earpiece? He's definitely FBI.

There's no other reason why a
man would be wearing an earpiece.

Oh, don't punt,
you've got one yard to go.

Guys, I've read about this.
That's the recon guy.

He's the one that
plants the bugs.

I hate bugs.
Is it on me? Is it on me?

No, not... Like a bug,
like a microphone.

Oh, my God.

We've been infiltrated.

Guys, if this vacuum is bugged,

the FBI could be listening
to us right now.

Well, I think the important
thing is to stick together.

You know what?
You are absolutely right, Fez.

This is all for one
and one for all.

You're looking
for Michael Kelso.

Quit it.

No, I'm not gonna quit it,
okay? This is all your fault.

- You called the White House.
- My fault? This is my...

This is Hyde's fault 'cause he's
the one who got dumped by Jackie

so we had to be nice to him.

Hey, hey, hey,
go easy on the kid.

Letting go of Jackie was the
biggest mistake he ever made.

Remember, we were talking
about it earlier, behind his back?

Shut up, Fez.

If I wanted your advice,
I'd kick you in the nads.

Oh, in that case, my advice is
please don't kick me in the nads.

Hey, guys, you know what?

Maybe the FBI has an opinion
'cause they're listening to us.

Remember the V-A-C-U-U-M?

It spelled "vacuum."

Whoa, vacuum has
two "u's" in it?

No, that's messed up.

Okay, well, maybe we should turn
it on and see if it's really a vacuum,

and if it is, maybe we
should tidy up a bit.

Wait. One question.

If the vacuum really was bugged,

couldn't we just put it outside?

Damn.

When Kelso's the only one
thinking straight, we're in trouble.

Guys, we're making
too many mistakes.

We need to sit down
and figure this out.

Okay, this is starting
to feel like work, man.

Feds have ruined the circle.

The circle sucks.

That's right, I said it.

Hey, this circle is the only
thing that's keeping us sharp.

If it weren't for this circle, we'd have no
idea that the Feds were surrounding us,

planting bugs everywhere,
watching our every move.

So I say thank you
to the circle.

I just want everyone to know I'm
prepared to fight my way out of here.

You know, I don't even care
if the fish aren't biting

'cause nothing could beat
hanging out with my girl.

Well, in that case, I have
another idea for a game.

It's like 20 questions but sexy.

I call it sexy 20 questions.

Okay, I'll ask the questions.

Is it something I want?

Every Saturday,
twice on Christmas.

I got a bite.

Good, Donna-san.

Jackie-san, would you like to try the
move that Donna-san just performed?

But none of this self-defense
stuff applies to me.

Okay, I've said it before,
and I'll say it again.

Everyone loves me.

You don't understand. I am a
stranger who wants to hurt you.

I'm not buying it.

Okay, Jackie, let's say
he's not a stranger.

Let's say he's someone
who already hurt you.

Like Hyde.

What about him?

Well, you asked Hyde
for a tiny glimmer of hope

that you guys would
end up married one day.

But he said, "I don't know."

"I don't know."

As if Jackie Burkhart
weren't special at all.

- Watch it, Donna.
- I mean...

I mean, I thought
Jackie Burkhart was special.

But according to Hyde,
you're no better than me.

All men are bastards!

That jerk didn't want me!
I'm better than everyone!

Hyde, you've lost the best
thing when you lost me!

And it's not Jackie-san!
It's Jackie! Just Jackie!

Nothing more than Jackie!
Get it right, Dork-san!

I love karate.

I cannot believe it.

Now they have
a surveillance van outside.

I hope they're
not taking pictures.

I'm a little puffy.

Okay, this has gone too far,
we didn't do anything wrong.

What kind of country is this

if you can't make one threatening
phone call to the White House?

- Let's find out what's
really going on here.
- Yeah.

You know, that's not
a real weapon, right?

I know.

Not even if you really,
really believe.

I don't.

Don't let me down, baby.

Wait a minute,
it's just a dogcatcher van.

Well, hello, that's exactly
what the Feds want us to think.

But I just heard
dogs barking inside.

It's obviously a tape
recording of trained dogs.

The barking's
too self-conscious.

Plus, a dogcatcher van
wouldn't just say "dog catcher"

on the side of it,

'cause otherwise the dogs
would see it and just run away.

On three. One, two, three!

I don't understand.

Look, I don't know
if it's the fresh air talking,

but I'm starting to think this
whole thing's just our imagination.

You know what, you guys,

maybe we just need to let this
whole fantasy world of ours go.

Whoa.

Watch out, man, I almost
just cut you right in half there.

Kitty, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to
throw you to the floor.

It's just that that was the
first fish I caught this year.

That was a nice perch, it was a big perch,
might have been a state-record perch.

If it means anything,
you're my state-record lady.

Okay, I guess I forgive you.

I knew you'd understand.

I mean fish are really hard to
catch, but you, I can't get rid of.

Can't get rid of me?

I can't get rid of
you from my heart.

You see what happens
when you come fishing.

Okay, so there's
one thing I don't get.

If nobody was after us all day,

then why did the Feds
send a spy vacuum?

Why don't you
call them up and ask?

- That's a good idea.
- No!

You don't get to
touch that any more.

Okay. So, Hyde,
first day without Jackie.

Not a good start, huh?

Are you kidding man? I haven't
burned out this hard in years.

I'd do it all again tomorrow
but I'm exhausted.

I might have to go back to work.

Look at our brave little boy
hiding his sadness behind bluster.

Don't worry, I'm sure Jackie's
just as miserable as you are.

Oh, I feel so good.

This is so much better than staying
home all day, crying about Steven.

- You were a total badass.
- I'm not afraid of anything.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, there was
a pack of wild dogs loose.

I had to climb to the top of this
giant thing to get away from them.

That was me.

Dogs, huh?

What did you do?

Nothing. We... Kelso
thought there was a death ray,

so we called the White house,
and the Feds came, but...

It was just a vacuum.

Okay, I'm cutting you guys
off. Where's your stash?

It's all gone, man.