All language subtitles for That.70s.Show.S07E09.1080p.BluRay.x264-YELLOWBiRD

Man, I can't believe
Thanksgiving's tomorrow.

It's that special time of
year, I like to give thanks,

get Fez drunk and dress him up
like a lady pilgrim.

Well, the joke's on you
because this year,

I'm getting into the dress
before I get drunk.

Ah, touche.

Well, so long as it happens.

I had Thanksgiving dinner last
night with Brooke and the baby

so I could be here tonight
for Fez and the dress.

Hey, guys, I got something really
different planned for Thanksgiving.

But instead of telling you about
it, I'm gonna let it wash over you.

But, Eric, maybe you can let
some soap and water wash over you.

'Cause since you've been out
of work, you're a little bummy.

♪ Welcome to
the grand illusion

♪ Come on in
and see what's happening

♪ Pay the price

♪ Get your tickets
for the show ♪

Is that Styx?

And they just announced
a concert Thanksgiving night.

Now, if we camp out for tickets,

by tomorrow we could be
watching five guys in spandex suits

shaking their hair sweat
on teenage girls.

Forman, even if I liked Styx,

which would mean
I was born without ears,

I still can't go.

My dad wants me and Angie to open
the record store by midnight tomorrow.

Oh, man, Angie is so pretty.

You know, looking at Angie
is like looking at

something else pretty.

Well said.

Donna, you in for Styx?

Eric, I'm a deejay. I can't
be seen at a Styx concert.

It's in my contract.

Well, Fez, what do you say,
my man from another land?

Eric, where I come from,
we have a saying.

Yuck, Styx.

Remember, kids, music is joy,
comfort, a Band-Aid for a wounded soul.

And if you get people to believe that
crap, you're gonna sell a lot of records.

- Here are the keys
to the store.
- Thank you.

I just figure whoever hasn't been
in prison should hold the keys.

I thought you'd do that, so
I made an extra set for you.

- Everybody gets keys.
- Thank you.

Yeah, you don't know me
very well,

but you're gonna have to make
three of everything.

I'm starting to get you
a little bit. You're funny.

All right, well, as co-manager
of this record store,

my first order is

a pizza.

Are you crazy?

We have to start
unloading records.

Hey, look, I don't know
about these other jokers,

but I am here to help.

So if you need to get anything
off of one of these high shelves,

I'll be happy to
watch you reach for it.

All right, guys, we got a ton of
boxes to unpack, posters to hang.

So let's hit it.

I love hitting it.

I love that you taught me
to love hitting it.

You know, this is the first
time we've ever hit it at...

Hey, this place
doesn't have a name yet.

You should call it Hot Wax
Records but with a "Z." Recordz.

Z's are so rock 'n' roll.

Funk Man's House of Funk.

Funk Man's Funky House of Funk.

Funky Man's Funky
House of Hitting It.

You guys writing
this down or what?

Steven, that's too complicated.

You need something
that sounds hot and upscale.

You should call it Jackie.

If you wanted hot and upscale,
you should call it Dijon Mustard.

What about, like, Head Food?

Headsies, The Head.

That's kind of cool. The Head.

- The Head.
- The Head.

The Head.

I smell something burning.

That'd be us.

Oh, man, we just came up with
the best name for the record store.

It's, um...

The Funky Mustard House.

I thought we settled on Jackie.

I just had it and then
it popped out of my head.

That's it. Poppers.

This is a chain. All the
stores are called Grooves.

Oh, that's why
we have that sign.

All right, well, let's call it a day
and hit it hard again tomorrow.

Good work, everyone.

Oh, wait, I just remembered
the name. Lumpy's.

No, it wasn't called Lumpy's.

Well, my store is
gonna be called Lumpy's.

♪ Hanging out

♪ Down the street

♪ The same old thing

♪ We did last week

♪ Not a thing to do

♪ But talk to you

♪ We're all all right

♪ We're all all right ♪

Hello, Wisconsin!

First one here.

Hey, you guys getting in line
for Styx tickets, too?

Yeah, right.

If we weren't late for this
party, we'd kick your ass.

Styx rules.

- What was that, dork?
- I said enjoy your party.

Oh, my God!

Did I miss it?
Are there any tickets left?

Black Sabbath's been
sold out for weeks.

No. Styx.

I prefer a more lush,
orchestral sound.

Yeah, well, you're the only one.

Just give me the damn ticket.

Man, Hyde, this listening pit
is an awesome idea.

Yeah. You made a place for
people to hang out, listen to music,

and feel up Angie and stuff.

That's not what
this pit is for, man.

It's for listening to records
and feeling up Jackie and stuff.

Steven's so innovative.

You know, he designed
this whole thing from scratch.

Um...

This is exactly Eric's basement.

Oh, you're just jealous because
Steven's successful and Eric's all bummy.

What is all this?

What happened to
the Soft Rock section?

I put it in the alley.

See, that way, if somebody
comes in asking for Barry Manilow,

I can send him outside
and lock the door.

Steven, this store is
very important to me.

When I was eight years old,

Santa asked me what I wanted for
Christmas and I said, "A record store."

You know what I got? A pony.

What eight-year-old girl
wants a damn pony?

You know, one year I asked
for a damn pony and got a car.

I just want this store
to be great.

Yeah, well, I think this pit
makes the store great.

Really? Did you go
to business school?

Well, he did a lot
of business at school.

Fine, I'll get rid of the pit,

but I want that entire wall
covered in Zeppelin.

We can't.

You know that research paper that I
gave you that you probably smoked?

Well, it says that Zeppelin
scares people over 30.

Good, because people over 30
don't listen to music.

They move to Florida
to play golf.

Man, Angie is so
awesome and classy.

She's like the first page
of a Playboy layout.

You know,
before you see her cans.

Did you know that all that stuff
about those girls is made up?

Yeah, they're not really librarians
or horse trainers or scientists.

They're just whores.

I wish someone would rub
my shoulders like this.

Hey.

Whatcha cooking, good-looking?

Guess who got a ticket to
see Styx in concert tonight?

Tonight?
Honey, it's Thanksgiving.

Yeah, but this is
a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

Mom, this ticket was
really hard to get.

Was it harder to get
than the holiday traditions

this family has built through
decades of love and sacrifice?

Much harder.
Thanks for understanding.

There's my beautiful bride.
I'll be in the garage.

Red.

None of the kids
are coming for dinner tonight.

Laurie's in Canada,
Steven has his store,

and now Eric is
going to a concert.

There's no point in me
even making my special yams.

What?

Kitty, I love those yams.

They're among the top three
reasons I married you.

Well, I can't make them
if I'm sad.

Look, I'll tell you what,

you get started on the yams
and I'll go talk to Eric.

Thanks.

Gosh, my shoulders are sore
from all this cooking.

Think you could
rub them a little?

Kitty, it's Thanksgiving,
not Christmas.

Styx, Kelso?

All right, fine.
I like Styx, okay?

And I don't care
if anybody knows it.

That's not true.
Don't tell anyone.

Why aren't you putting
the records in the bins?

- What bins?
- The ones I ordered.

Oh, my God.
I never ordered the bins.

Hmm!

That would never happen
at Jackie.

What are we gonna do?

There's no bins.

No bins!

Hey, look, man, I'll
take care of it, all right?

But it's gonna cost you.

Listening pit comes back,
Zeppelin goes up on that wall,

and I want you to remove the
smoke detectors from the back office.

Whatever you want.

Oh, and also, my creepy friend
gets to hold your hand for two minutes.

That would be me.

Wait, all right, back off.

I want to be the first one
of us who gets to touch her.

You, too, with the Styx?

That's a present
for my friend,

Fez. Damn it.

Out of my way, Dad.
Time for me to rock.

You're not going to the concert.

What? Why not?

Look, every family has
its holiday traditions.

Some sing, others play charades.

In our family,
someone always cries.

But I'll be damned if it's gonna
be your mother crying tonight.

I can't see her like that.

I love her.

She threatened
not to make the yams.

Just get the hell back
in the house.

Okay, here's the situation.

It's Thanksgiving night.
Everything's closed.

We need to find
100 record bins by midnight.

It's the same damn thing,
every year.

Wait, I have a question.

How does hair know to grow?

And how far inside
your head does it go?

Does it touch your brain?

Okay, I think we need to get
Jerry Garcia here some coffee.

Let the girl rap, I was into it.

I like to think about my head.

The Head, that's the name.
I saved the day.

You know what would be perfect
for the records?

Those boxes
that milk bottles come in.

They're like crates or crepes.

Crepes. How good are crepes?

That'll work, man. We need,
like, 50 empty milk crates.

Well, how are we
gonna drink all that milk?

Wait.
We need 50 boxes of cookies.

No, wastoid.
We'll steal the crates.

It's perfect.

Milk crates.

Milk crates.

Milk crates.

Milky Craties.

Okay. My Valium's
starting to wear off.

What's happening
with those boxes?

Man, we just thought of
the perfect solution.

We're gonna go
get some of those...

- The Head.
- Crepes.

Poppers.

Whatever. We'll be back.

Why is it every time I leave
the room, you guys do this?

It's Thanksgiving.

Some people bake pies,
we bake ourselves.

Thank you for opening up your
home to me on this special day.

This family is all about love.

Yep, spirit-crushing
tyrannical love.

Drop that tone of voice,

you'll be wearing that turkey
like a football helmet.

Okay, now, everybody take a
feather from the paper turkey

and write down something
you're thankful for,

and then we'll all pick feathers
and guess who wrote them.

Any questions?

This is kind of off-topic,
but where can I put my belt?

I'll go first.

"I'm thankful for my mother/wife.
My life is meaningless without her."

Whoopsie, I got mine.

It would've sounded better
if someone else had read it.

"I'm thankful you have pecan
pie. You do have pecan pie, right?

"Because I turned down an
invitation that involved pecan pie."

Hmm, Bob?

"I'm thankful I didn't waste
my day at a really fun concert.

"This way I can work on
becoming a bitter, old man

"whose only happiness
is destroying his son's life."

Kitty, hand me the turkey.

I think I got Red's.

'Cause the only words I
can repeat are "Eric, little"

and a word that
starts with "mother."

"Mother"? That's nice.

It takes
a pretty hard left turn.

Thanksgiving is ruined.

Don't look at me. Dad's the
one who cursed on a turkey.

Kitty.
Bob, touch my yams and die.

Look at all the stuff
I gotta eat.

Okay, look, I'll distract him.
Jackie, give me your lipstick.

Okay, but you picked a really
weird time to get into makeup, Donna.

I love it when you whore
yourself for the good of the group.

Hey, you.

That's, um... That's a sexy
milk truck you got there.

Really? Nah.

Oh, yeah, that big cow
on the side is really sexy.

I haven't talked to a woman
in four months.

Oh, come here, big guy.

She's hugging him.

Okay, come on. Let's
grab everything. Hurry up.

Or slow down. I'd like
to see where this goes.

How could you think it would
be okay to miss Thanksgiving?

You might as well
just rip my heart out

and drown it in my
delicious giblet gravy.

It's not just Thanksgiving.

You used to have
goals and ambition.

But now, one week
you're chasing butterflies,

the next week you're skating around
the neighborhood dressed like Liberace.

Did it ever occur to you guys
that I don't know what I'm doing?

Okay? I'm scared.

Of what, honey?

We got rid of the spooky lamp
in your room.

Look, my whole life, I've been
trying to please other people.

So I feel like I don't know who I am
or know what I want to do with my life.

You need a government job,
like a mailman.

Something simple and repetitive.

No, no, no. You know
he doesn't do well in snow.

What about this?

Margie's son is a chiropractor,
and she seems very happy.

I just...

I don't wanna wake up in
five years and hate my life.

That's unavoidable.

Okay, I just need
more time to think.

You know what I got
for my 18th birthday?

A draft notice and
a malaria vaccine.

I never had time to think.

Yeah, but, Dad, don't you think it
would've been helpful if you did?

All right, I'll tell you what.

I'll give you six months.

But if you haven't
picked something by then,

you'll do that chiropractic thing
that your mother suggested.

Dad, I... I don't
even know what that is.

Oh, honey, it's perfect for you.

It's like a doctor but you
don't have to be as smart.

I can't believe I had
to kiss that milkman.

Donna, you've done
worse for less.

Shut up.

- Was it milky?
- Shut up.

So, what do you think?

I think I see a lot of
records in milk crates.

Where are the bins
like the other stores have?

- Dad, I forgot to tell you...
- Forgot to tell me what?

Uh, what she forgot to tell
you was that it was my idea.

See, I thought it'd look cool, you
know, like we stole them or something.

Well, I don't much like it,
but we'll give it a shot.

Why is Jackie
behind the cash register?

Hey, funny girl,
get your hands off my money.

- That was really nice of you.
- I know, and now you owe me.

I want black lights,
bigger speakers

and a little thing called
the five-day weekend.

Hey, was Hyde being mean to you?

You know, I can't beat him up
for you. But I can get Donna to.

No, he was great.

It's just, I've been waiting
for this day my whole life

and now I don't know.

I don't know what
to do with myself.

Well, I think that you need
to take some time for you,

and may I suggest an
evening out with Michael Kelso.

Dinner, drinks
and a ride home not included.

I never did have
a Thanksgiving dinner.

I can buy you a taco.

Oh, and then we can celebrate,
like the original Thanksgiving,

with the pilgrims
and the Mexicans.

♪ Welcome to
the grand illusion

♪ Come on in and
see what's happening ♪

Check it out.
Jackie's rocking out to Styx.

So? Fez was
mouthing the words.

Uh... I thought it was okay now
because Hyde was tapping his foot.

Whoa, whoa.
I was just squashing a bug.

How about you, Donna? You've
been kind of quiet. Are you okay?

I kissed the milkman.

Happy Thanksgiving, Forman.