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1
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:33,541
En voiture!
2
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:31,927
-Bonjour.
-Bonjour.
3
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,353
Bonjour!
4
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,111
Oh, nuts!
5
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:39,503
Well, baby, the name is Curtis.
6
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,456
-May I present Thomas B. Chambers.
-My name is Gilda Farrell.
7
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:45,134
- Coming back to the subject
of art - - Are you a painter?
8
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:46,961
-Yes.
-What did you say your name was?
9
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:49,171
-Curtis.
-George Curtis?
10
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,844
Yes.
11
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:57,055
You exhibited a painting
at the Shale Galleries.
12
00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,684
-True.
-Let me see.
13
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,175
-Oh, Lady Godiva, wasn�t it?
-Did you like it?
14
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,568
I saw it with a friend
of mine. She loved it.
15
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,646
We haven�t spoken since.
16
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:14,913
I, uh...
17
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,083
I wouldn�t consider her one
of your greatest admirers.
18
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:22,296
-Are you a painter too?
-Oh, no, no. Not me.
19
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,918
I�m a playwright.
20
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:27,343
I write unproduced plays.
And very good of that kind.
21
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:30,926
-Why didn�t you like my picture?
-It's smart-aleck.
22
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,882
You�re wisecracking with paint.
23
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,468
It simply creaks
with originality.
24
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:40,223
Lady Godiva riding a bicycle!
25
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,105
I know what she means.
26
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:48,314
A bicycle seat is a little hard on
Lady Godiva�s historical background.
27
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,739
Shut up!
28
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,072
I see.
29
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,279
Lady Godiva doesn�t
belong on a bicycle...
30
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,284
but it�s okay to put Napoleon...
31
00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:00,618
in a Kaplan and McGuire
non-wrinkling, 2.50 union suit.
32
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,874
Quite right. That�s not history.
33
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:06,047
And if I may say so,
they, uh - they do wrinkle.
34
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,795
I�m a commercial artist.
35
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:11,299
I'm being paid for telling the world
that if Napoleon were alive today...
36
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:15,633
he would wear Kaplan and McGuire�s
2.50, non-wrinkling underwear.
37
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,263
Pure hooey.
38
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,979
You�re wasting your time
painting for art galleries.
39
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,979
You should get in contact
with some bicycle manufacturer.
40
00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,605
You�d clean up.
41
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,399
I'll give you a good slogan:
42
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,606
�Join Lady Godiva
on our tandem.�
43
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:35,694
Don�t say �nuts.� Not to a lady.
44
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,591
-Hurry up, Gilda!
-Shake a leg!
45
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:55,430
It's amazing how a few insults can
bring people together in three hours.
46
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,745
It was certainly good to hear
all the names you called me.
47
00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:00,101
I haven�t heard 'em since
I left Father and Mother.
48
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:03,055
What we want to know is, do you
like us better than Kaplan and McGuire?
49
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:06,358
Let me tell you, Curtis and
Chambers deliver the goods.
50
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:10,904
En voiture!
51
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:14,529
En voiture!
52
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:43,975
-Max!
-Gilda! Darling!
53
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,974
I don�t think it�s Kaplan.
54
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,811
I doubt if it's McGuire.
55
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,981
And it�s certainly not Napoleon.
56
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,554
-Take a letter!
-Yes, sir.
57
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,889
My dear Mr. Thomas B. Chambers.
58
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,439
Uh, cross that out.
59
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,062
Mr. Chambers.
60
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,860
Comma. Paragraph.
61
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:35,610
I am writing you in regard to your
undesirable attentions to Miss Gilda Farrell.
62
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,743
Hello. Yes.
63
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,740
No, no, no, that
won�t do at all.
64
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:44,289
I want the copy to read
exactly as I laid it out.
65
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:47,993
�The real aristocrat surrenders to
Murphy Hold "Em Up Suspenders.�
66
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,954
And put �Hold �Em
Up� in a brighter color.
67
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:53,211
A-And listen, put that French
touch in the suspenders.
68
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,713
Where was I?
69
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:59,047
Undesirable
attention to Miss Gilda Farrell.
70
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:04,928
I'm afraid, Bassington,
that you are wrong.
71
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:14,360
I'm afraid, Bassington,
that you are wr...
72
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:21,655
I�m afraid, Bassington...
73
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,737
that you are right...
74
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,704
but nonetheless boring.
75
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,503
Very good.
76
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,045
Very good.
77
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:37,502
Bassington curls his lips foolishly...
78
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:40,007
and crosses to left.
79
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:44,550
Bassington speaks:
80
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,809
There�s only one thing
I have to say to you.
81
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,530
What could he say?
82
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,700
There�s only one thing
I have to say to you.
83
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,781
Come in, come in.
84
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:13,170
There�s only one thing
I have to say to you.
85
00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,921
Ah, Plunkett, Incorporated!
86
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,003
Well, welcome to Bohemia, sir.
87
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,925
-How do you do?
-Why, I'm getting on, sir, in my modest way.
88
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,384
-And you?
-I'm well, thank you.
89
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:28,889
You�re looking splendid.
90
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:32,564
That�s a fetching tie, Mr. Plunkett.
And these spats - very exciting.
91
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,311
What an ensemble, hmm?
92
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:36,689
But personally, |
don�t like derbies.
93
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:38,941
They give a man
that undertaker look.
94
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,945
My dear Mr. Chambers, I have
come here to speak to you man to man.
95
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,946
My favorite type
of conversation.
96
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,278
| wish to broach a
rather delicate subject.
97
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:50,582
Oh, now, don�t let�s be delicate, Mr. Plunkett.
Let�s be crude and objectionable, both of us.
98
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,911
One of the greatest handicaps to
civilization, and I may say to progress...
99
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:57,123
is the fact that people speak
with ribbons on their tongues.
100
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,629
Delicacy, as the
philosophers point out...
101
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:03,087
is the, uh, banana peel
under the feet of truth.
102
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:07,140
And, uh, if you�ve come up
here to raise a fuss about Gilda...
103
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:11,011
this derby is a
thing of the past.
104
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,766
Mr. Chambers, I...
105
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:16,650
Mr. Chambers, I don�t wish
you to misunderstand me.
106
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:21,071
I am not Miss Farrell�s husband, nor
her fianc� in any shape, form or manner.
107
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:23,068
Hmm. I see. Her devoted friend.
108
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,070
-Yes. For five years.
-Mm-hmm.
109
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,402
-Her guide, I take it, and counselor.
-Yes.
110
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:28,908
-Her protector.
-Exactly.
111
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:32,992
Mm-hmm. In other words, Mr. Plunkett,
you, uh - you never got to first base.
112
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,542
Yes...
113
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,292
-I'll overlook that insult.
-Thank you.
114
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:39,043
Will you be seated?
115
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:48,890
Mr. Chambers, your attentions
to Gilda are undesirable.
116
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,635
-Has she been complaining?
-No.
117
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,811
Well, good, good. I'm
very busy, Mr. Plunkett.
118
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,889
I, uh - I�m creating.
119
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:02,275
Mr. Chambers, there�s only
one thing I have to say to you.
120
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,815
-Do you know what it is?
-Yes.
121
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,696
Immorality may be fun...
122
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:12,907
but it isn�t fun enough to take the place
of 100% virtue and three square meals a day.
123
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,912
Now, wait a minute.
124
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,835
Immorality may be fun...
125
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,707
But it isn�t fun enough
to take the place...
126
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,336
- Of 100% virtue - - And
three square meals a day.
127
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:23,667
-Superb!
-Furthermore...
128
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,923
Ah-ah! Not another
word! Th-That�s a curtain.
129
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,597
Three square meals a day...
130
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,137
and Bassington exits.
131
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,559
Mr. Chambers...
132
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:36,138
Listen to me,
Plunkett, Incorporated.
133
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:40,567
I'm in love with Gilda. I adore
her. I�m quite insane about her.
134
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,655
I love you, Gilda.
135
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:52,613
Oh, that�s sweet to hear.
136
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:56,166
Gilda, sometimes I
wonder what I see in you.
137
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:59,244
You don�t appreciate me,
and you know nothing about art.
138
00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:03,211
Maybe you love me
because I'm an imbecile.
139
00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:05,713
It must be something like that.
140
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:10,013
I really love you.
141
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:12,136
I�m amazed at myself.
142
00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:14,558
It�s sincere. That�s
what gets my goat.
143
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,563
Gilda.
144
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:26,196
I�m very fond of you.
145
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,449
Oh. You�re fond of me, huh?
146
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,446
Mm-hmm.
147
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,153
I don�t like that.
148
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:38,958
I know what�s the trouble.
149
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,662
I swear I'll break his neck!
150
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:48,927
Gilda, you�re mine! Tell him to get out of
your life and stay out or I�ll cut him to bits!
151
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:51,755
-Who?
-That pal of yours, Max Plunkett.
152
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,214
Oh.
153
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,516
Well, what�s the verdict?
154
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,310
Are you jealous?
155
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:00,264
No. No, I'm not jealous.
156
00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:02,770
The whole point is that I just
don�t want any competition.
157
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:06,478
It belittles me in my own eyes.
It - It interferes with my work.
158
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:09,189
I - I can�t paint
when I'm worried.
159
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,944
All right. I'll tell Max.
160
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,742
See that you do. Understand?
161
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,866
Yes, sir.
162
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:16,446
Gilda.
163
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:22,707
Now please go. I'll
see you tomorrow.
164
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,636
Tomorrow my life begins!
165
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:38,138
-Hello, Mr. Plunkett.
-Hello.
166
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:40,061
Oh! Mr. Curtis.
167
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:47,068
-How are you?
-I'm well, thank you.
168
00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:49,487
-Good night, Mr. Plunkett.
-Uh, just a minute.
169
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,690
What are you doing here?
170
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:55,527
-At the moment I am leaving.
-I mean, you�ve seen Miss Farrell?
171
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,362
Yes, I've seen Gilda.
172
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,198
-Well!
-She�s expecting you.
173
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,203
She has some news for you.
174
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:05,333
Mr. Curtis, I wish to, uh,
broach a rather delicate matter.
175
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:07,005
It concerns Gilda.
176
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:09,832
Sit down.
177
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,382
Shoot!
178
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,430
Mr. Curtis...
179
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:18,599
what is your annual
income, in round figures?
180
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:23,312
In round figures... zero.
181
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:26,391
-May I ask what you live on?
-Nothing.
182
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,277
I survive by miracles.
183
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:33,607
Mr. Curtis, I must ask you man to man
to discontinue your attentions to Gilda.
184
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:37,990
Now you�re making very
unbecoming faces, Mr. Plunkett.
185
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,621
-She doesn�t need you.
-Guess again!
186
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:42,290
Mr. Curtis, there�s only one
thing I have to say to you.
187
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:46,085
Immorality may be fun, but it isn�t fun
enough to take the place of 100% virtue...
188
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,539
and three square meals a day.
189
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:50,089
So!
190
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:53,544
This is the way you talk to a man who
wears Kaplan and McGuire union suits.
191
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:57,176
Mr. Plunkett, I shall report
you to your clients immediately.
192
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,756
Good night, sir.
193
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:07,016
-Yesterday it was Tom.
-Yes?
194
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,771
-Today it's George.
-Yes?
195
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,352
Okay.
196
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:13,896
Hoodlums.
197
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,201
Artistic bums.
198
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:21,154
Both of �em put together
aren�t worth a dime.
199
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,741
Gilda, no one knows better
than you how unselfish I've been...
200
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,825
in all matters
pertaining to you.
201
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:28,999
-You�ve been nice.
-I've been marvelous.
202
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,206
No, just nice.
203
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,211
Gilda, I've been your
friend for five years...
204
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:37,796
And I want you to remain my friend
for the next 50 years, so please shut up.
205
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,309
Max, have you ever been in love?
206
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,107
This is no time to answer that.
207
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:51,434
Have you ever felt
your brain catch fire...
208
00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:55,818
and a curious, dreadful thing
go right through your body...
209
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:59,117
down, down to your very toes...
210
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,490
and leave you with
your ears ringing?
211
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,995
That's abnormal.
212
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,122
Well, that�s how I felt
just before you came in.
213
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:11,125
Yes? How�d you feel yesterday
after your promenade with Tom?
214
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,797
Just the opposite.
215
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:17,878
It started in my very toes and
came up, up, up very slowly...
216
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:20,009
until my brain caught fire.
217
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,431
But the ringing in the
ears was the same.
218
00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:27,850
Hello.
219
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,430
Hello.
220
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:36,233
Did you go for the laundry?
221
00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,406
Hardly.
222
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,574
Why not?
223
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:42,572
Two cans of
sardines, five francs.
224
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,997
Madame Poperino,
blackmail, seven francs 50.
225
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:48,245
-No laundry.
-That�s fine.
226
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:51,164
I haven�t got a clean
shirt to my name.
227
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:53,417
Clean shirt?
228
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:54,997
What's up, a romance?
229
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,754
I�m not talking about pajamas.
230
00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,212
I�m talking about a clean shirt.
231
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:03,298
I don�t want to go around
looking like a rag picker.
232
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:07,386
I�m talking about a white shirt, a
shirt without a spot, without any holes...
233
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,268
that won't fall apart when
you unbutton your coat.
234
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,074
How old is the laundress?
235
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,742
Oh, she�s about 45.
236
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,910
A young 45?
237
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,704
Oh, I don�t know.
238
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,577
She goes barefoot.
239
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:32,127
She�s, uh, rather
plump, a little soapy...
240
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,375
but a very interesting mustache.
241
00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:36,957
Very charming, very
charming. Not my type.
242
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:42,338
Mustache or no mustache, I
need a clean shirt for tomorrow.
243
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:58,315
End of Act One.
244
00:19:58,406 --> 00:19:59,646
Curtain.
245
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:01,572
Don�t read it. I
know it by heart.
246
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:05,013
You remember where Bassington has found out
that Edgar was the man on the fire escape?
247
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,324
-All right, shoot!
-�There�s a pause.
248
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:09,747
-Edgar smiles maddeningly.�
-Go on, go on!
249
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:13,043
�Bassington plays with his
beard in order to cover his emotion.
250
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,494
Edgar speaks.
251
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:19,082
�I'm afraid, Bassington, that you
are right, but nonetheless boring.�
252
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:22,965
Bassington studies his fingernails
like a man of the world, crosses to left.
253
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,171
Edgar continues
strumming his mandolin.
254
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:27,382
Bassington, resuming
with his beard...
255
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:30,514
I have only one
thing to say to you.
256
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,561
Immortality may be fun...
257
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:37,017
but it�s not fun enough to
take the place of 100% virtue...
258
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,944
and three square meals a day.�
259
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,739
What�s the matter?
260
00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:50,538
-So! Double-crossing me, huh?
-What are you buzzing about?
261
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:53,241
You didn�t write that speech
alone, and I know where you got it!
262
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:56,327
- Well, if you think - -
And don�t try to lie out of it!
263
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,789
He was in here - Mr. Plunkett.
264
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,875
And it isn�t difficult to guess
why he was here either.
265
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:04,844
So you�ve been
making love to Gilda.
266
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,261
- Now, listen, if
you - - I know!
267
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:09,340
�100% virtue and three
square meals a day!�
268
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,679
Wait a minute.
269
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:18,399
So you�ve heard
that speech before!
270
00:21:20,571 --> 00:21:23,063
Where did you hear
that speech before?
271
00:21:23,157 --> 00:21:24,818
Oh, I see.
272
00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,491
Clean shirt, en?
273
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:29,911
-So he caught you with Gilda.
-It's a lie! He didn�t catch me.
274
00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:33,240
Very pretty work.
True blue George.
275
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:37,168
Look who's talking about true blue! I ought
a bust you right in that ugly pan of yours!
276
00:21:37,254 --> 00:21:39,416
Let�s behave like
civilized people.
277
00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:41,418
It's quite apparent
beyond any question...
278
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:44,422
that you behaved in this matter
as a rather common, ordinary rat.
279
00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:45,923
I'm leaving.
280
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:57,396
Where�s my suitcase?
281
00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,645
Or have you sold it to somebody?
282
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:08,528
This is a little silly, after
11 years of friendship.
283
00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:10,610
You should have
considered that earlier!
284
00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:27,840
Do you mind a personal question?
285
00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:29,512
Not at all.
286
00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:31,509
Are you pretty hard hit?
287
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,137
That�s none of your business.
288
00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:36,560
-And you?
-Likewise.
289
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:45,144
What a pity we had to fall
in love with the same girl.
290
00:22:49,451 --> 00:22:51,818
Charming, isn�t she?
291
00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:53,653
Rather.
292
00:22:53,747 --> 00:22:55,158
Nice eyes.
293
00:22:55,249 --> 00:22:56,739
Of a sort.
294
00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:01,120
Well, I guess we�re through.
295
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:03,204
Looks like it.
296
00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:06,382
Curious to have a little bit of
feminine fluff breaking up our friendship.
297
00:23:06,468 --> 00:23:08,584
Sad.
298
00:23:08,679 --> 00:23:10,340
Quite a dilemma.
299
00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:14,136
I wonder if she�s worth it.
300
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,092
I wonder.
301
00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:17,642
In fact, I doubt it.
302
00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:20,267
There�s only one thing we know
about her - she�s full of deceit.
303
00:23:20,357 --> 00:23:23,295
-She�s trying to hang it on both of us.
-We shouldn�t let her get away with it.
304
00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:25,297
-She�s a troublemaker.
-We ought to put our foot down.
305
00:23:25,321 --> 00:23:27,241
You're right. We oughtn�t
to let her break it up.
306
00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:30,010
I've been listening to these
half-witted dramas of yours for 11 years!
307
00:23:30,034 --> 00:23:32,262
Yes, and I've grown cockeyed looking
at those humpty-dumpty pictures of yours.
308
00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:35,166
And we should give up all this on
account of some girl we met on a train?
309
00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:36,474
-Third class!
-No woman�s worth it.
310
00:23:36,498 --> 00:23:38,205
Absolutely not.
311
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,458
No more clean shirts?
312
00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:46,755
-We ignore her, 50-50.
-Fine.
313
00:23:49,345 --> 00:23:51,803
-Sacrifice helps an artist.
-Exactly!
314
00:23:51,889 --> 00:23:54,551
The sorrows of life
are the joys of art.
315
00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:57,555
-I don�t think we ought to discuss her anymore.
-Right.
316
00:23:57,645 --> 00:24:02,390
If, uh, the occasion arises which
requires our mentioning her at all...
317
00:24:02,483 --> 00:24:05,396
we�ll refer to her
as, uh, Miss Farrell.
318
00:24:05,486 --> 00:24:08,399
-It'll make the whole thing more impersonal.
-Exactly.
319
00:24:08,489 --> 00:24:12,983
Hey, George, did you
really sell my suitcase?
320
00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:17,241
Yeah.
321
00:24:17,331 --> 00:24:18,331
Okay.
322
00:24:22,670 --> 00:24:24,331
Telephone?
323
00:24:25,547 --> 00:24:29,336
Well, um - Oh.
Answer it if you wish.
324
00:24:29,426 --> 00:24:32,043
Go ahead. I trust you.
325
00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:33,627
Oh, thanks.
326
00:24:43,691 --> 00:24:45,147
Hello?
327
00:24:45,234 --> 00:24:46,599
Yes?
328
00:24:47,945 --> 00:24:49,936
Well, uh, just a second.
329
00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:53,898
It�s, uh - It�s Miss Farrell.
330
00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:58,364
What do you want, Gilda?
331
00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:00,116
I beg your pardon.
332
00:25:02,251 --> 00:25:03,491
I see.
333
00:25:03,585 --> 00:25:05,371
I-I see.
334
00:25:05,462 --> 00:25:07,954
Well, just a second, please.
335
00:25:09,466 --> 00:25:12,379
-She wants to come up tomorrow.
-Tell her absolutely no.
336
00:25:12,469 --> 00:25:14,551
Okay.
337
00:25:14,638 --> 00:25:16,925
Uh, well...
338
00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:19,098
Uh, well, hold the wire.
339
00:26:38,055 --> 00:26:40,217
Miss Farrell�s a little late.
340
00:26:41,308 --> 00:26:42,798
It hardly matters.
341
00:26:43,894 --> 00:26:45,931
I think we ought to be polite.
342
00:26:47,022 --> 00:26:51,357
I�m going to assume a
very nonchalant attitude.
343
00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:58,735
Don�t forget. Nonchalant.
344
00:27:06,625 --> 00:27:08,457
Oui.
345
00:27:33,026 --> 00:27:35,188
-How do you do?
-How do you do?
346
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,396
-How do you do?
-How do you do?
347
00:27:39,575 --> 00:27:41,566
How do you do?
348
00:28:43,013 --> 00:28:46,131
Tommy, you're such a child.
349
00:29:17,005 --> 00:29:18,916
I�m so nervous.
350
00:29:20,008 --> 00:29:23,672
Couldn�t we all be a
little bit more nonchalant?
351
00:29:27,432 --> 00:29:30,720
I came here to
make a confession...
352
00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:34,270
a confession hard to make
at 11:00 in the morning.
353
00:29:39,611 --> 00:29:41,022
George.
354
00:29:41,113 --> 00:29:42,524
Yes, please?
355
00:29:43,907 --> 00:29:45,989
Sit down here.
356
00:29:46,076 --> 00:29:47,942
[ Mutters I Well...
357
00:29:52,207 --> 00:29:55,370
-Shall I leave the room?
-No, please!
358
00:29:56,420 --> 00:29:59,503
George. Dear George.
359
00:29:59,589 --> 00:30:03,674
When I let you make love to me
yesterday, I didn�t tell you something.
360
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:07,298
I didn�t tell you that the
day before, Tom and I had...
361
00:30:09,433 --> 00:30:11,800
Did he tell you?
362
00:30:11,893 --> 00:30:13,509
No.
363
00:30:13,603 --> 00:30:16,561
-Thank you, Tommy.
-You�re very welcome.
364
00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:19,731
George, promise me you
won�t start smashing furniture.
365
00:30:21,111 --> 00:30:23,694
I�m more than fond of Tommy.
366
00:30:25,157 --> 00:30:27,740
-I'm sorry, old man.
-Quite all right.
367
00:30:27,826 --> 00:30:29,783
-Thank you.
-Okay!
368
00:30:31,788 --> 00:30:34,120
But...
369
00:30:36,043 --> 00:30:39,377
Tom, when we were in the
park - Do you remember?
370
00:30:39,463 --> 00:30:42,046
-Very well.
-I didn�t tell you.
371
00:30:42,132 --> 00:30:46,126
That morning I made a date with
George for the next evening in my house...
372
00:30:46,219 --> 00:30:48,210
and I didn�t call it off.
373
00:30:48,305 --> 00:30:50,888
- And I want to be
truthful. I - - Oh, I see.
374
00:30:50,974 --> 00:30:53,807
In other words, you�re
very fond of George.
375
00:30:53,894 --> 00:30:55,350
More than fond.
376
00:30:58,732 --> 00:31:03,397
A thing happened to me
that usually happens to men.
377
00:31:05,614 --> 00:31:08,902
You see, a man can meet
two, three, or even four women...
378
00:31:08,992 --> 00:31:10,903
and fall in love
with all of them...
379
00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:14,578
and then, by a process of,
uh, interesting elimination...
380
00:31:14,664 --> 00:31:17,326
he�s able to decide
which one he prefers.
381
00:31:17,417 --> 00:31:22,628
But a woman must decide purely on instinct,
guesswork, if she wants to be considered nice.
382
00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:26,069
Oh, it�s quite all right for her to try on a
hundred hats before she picks one out, but...
383
00:31:26,093 --> 00:31:29,006
Very fine. But which
chapeau do you want, madam?
384
00:31:34,017 --> 00:31:35,678
Both.
385
00:31:37,187 --> 00:31:40,930
You see, George, you're
sort of like a ragged straw hat...
386
00:31:41,024 --> 00:31:43,641
with a very soft lining.
387
00:31:44,694 --> 00:31:46,605
A little bit out of shape...
388
00:31:46,696 --> 00:31:49,028
very dashing to look at...
389
00:31:49,116 --> 00:31:52,199
and very comfortable to wear.
390
00:31:54,162 --> 00:31:55,323
And you, Tom.
391
00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:58,998
Chic, piquant,
perched over one eye...
392
00:31:59,084 --> 00:32:02,167
and has to be
watched on windy days.
393
00:32:04,172 --> 00:32:07,540
And both so becoming.
394
00:32:08,343 --> 00:32:09,674
Ohh!
395
00:32:11,221 --> 00:32:15,055
Oh, I'm the most unhappy
woman in the world!
396
00:32:15,142 --> 00:32:17,975
Poor girl. She�s in
rather a tough spot.
397
00:32:18,061 --> 00:32:19,893
Mm-hmm.
398
00:32:20,939 --> 00:32:22,350
George.
399
00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:26,309
Dear George, there�s no use
pretending you could make me forget Tom.
400
00:32:26,403 --> 00:32:28,815
-I'd miss him.
-You would not.
401
00:32:28,905 --> 00:32:31,397
But for the sake
of argument, okay.
402
00:32:31,491 --> 00:32:35,325
And, Tom, if I went with
you up hill and down dale...
403
00:32:35,412 --> 00:32:38,245
he would haunt
me like a bogeyman.
404
00:32:38,331 --> 00:32:41,244
It�s a pitiful situation.
405
00:32:41,877 --> 00:32:45,120
Well, if it'll make you
happy, I�m willing to step out.
406
00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:49,707
Never mind the grandstand gesture! I
know how you�d step out - with a club.
407
00:32:49,801 --> 00:32:53,510
On the other hand, if you feel that
you can�t get along without her...
408
00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:55,804
it wouldn�t be the first
sacrifice I've made for you.
409
00:32:55,891 --> 00:32:58,178
What sacrifice? What
have you ever done for me?
410
00:32:58,268 --> 00:32:59,929
Look who's
talking! Little Rollo!
411
00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:02,915
Why, you're the most self-centered,
egotistical, double-crosser I ever knew!
412
00:33:02,939 --> 00:33:05,681
- Now, listen, if I - -
Shh! There you have it.
413
00:33:05,775 --> 00:33:09,609
You hate him, he hates you,
and you both end up by hating me.
414
00:33:10,697 --> 00:33:13,485
Boys, let�s sit down.
415
00:33:19,372 --> 00:33:23,582
Now let�s talk it over from every
angle without any excitement...
416
00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:26,126
like a disarmament conference.
417
00:33:58,578 --> 00:34:01,912
Well? What do you think?
418
00:34:01,998 --> 00:34:04,660
I think it can be
worked out, providing...
419
00:34:04,751 --> 00:34:06,662
Yes, you�re right.
420
00:34:06,753 --> 00:34:08,494
�Providing.�
421
00:34:21,434 --> 00:34:24,347
Well, boys, it's the only thing
we can do. Let�s forget sex.
422
00:34:24,437 --> 00:34:26,599
Okay. Agreed.
423
00:34:26,690 --> 00:34:29,418
-It may be a bit difficult in the beginning.
-But it can be worked out.
424
00:34:29,442 --> 00:34:31,683
-Oh, it'll be grand!
-Save lots of time.
425
00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:33,815
And confusion.
426
00:34:33,905 --> 00:34:35,816
We�re going to
concentrate on work.
427
00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:37,818
Your work. My
work doesn�t count.
428
00:34:37,909 --> 00:34:40,822
I think both you boys have a great
deal of talent, but too much ego.
429
00:34:40,912 --> 00:34:44,325
You spend one day working
and a whole month bragging.
430
00:34:44,416 --> 00:34:48,034
Gentlemen, there are
going to be a few changes.
431
00:34:48,128 --> 00:34:50,540
I�m going to jump up
and down on your ego.
432
00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:52,962
I�m going to criticize your
work with a baseball bat.
433
00:34:53,049 --> 00:34:55,987
I�m going to tell you every day how bad your
stuff is until you get something good...
434
00:34:56,011 --> 00:35:00,300
and if it's good, I'm going to tell you
it's rotten till you get something better.
435
00:35:00,390 --> 00:35:03,928
I�m going to be a
mother of the arts.
436
00:35:24,331 --> 00:35:25,571
No sex.
437
00:35:25,665 --> 00:35:26,996
-Uh-huh.
-Oh, no.
438
00:35:29,586 --> 00:35:32,203
It's a gentleman�s agreement.
439
00:35:52,525 --> 00:35:54,266
Rotten, eh?
440
00:35:54,361 --> 00:35:57,281
Listen, my dear girl, when it comes
to playwriting, you don�t know your...
441
00:35:58,031 --> 00:36:00,443
your dear little elbow
from a barrel of flour.
442
00:36:00,533 --> 00:36:03,012
The third act is marvelous.
I've never written anything better.
443
00:36:03,036 --> 00:36:05,073
It�s rotten.
444
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:08,372
Fortunately, I know that
intellectually you�re still in rompers.
445
00:36:09,542 --> 00:36:13,536
You should have realized by now, my dear, that
I hate stupidity masquerading as criticism.
446
00:36:13,630 --> 00:36:15,246
Rotten.
447
00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:18,207
So I've had enough of that. You�re
ruining me. You're ruining my work.
448
00:36:18,301 --> 00:36:20,633
You�re just being
cheap and malicious.
449
00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:22,176
Rotten.
450
00:36:22,263 --> 00:36:25,597
Very well. It�s the last time
you�re going to tell me that.
451
00:36:26,768 --> 00:36:28,475
Good-bye, my dear.
452
00:36:37,112 --> 00:36:40,230
-It was a complete flop in London.
-I'm sorry, but I don�t ag...
453
00:36:41,491 --> 00:36:44,233
-I beg your pardon.
-Forgive me for entering unannounced.
454
00:36:44,327 --> 00:36:47,490
-Mr. Douglas is very busy.
-So they were kind enough to tell me downstairs.
455
00:36:47,580 --> 00:36:48,820
-Mr. Douglas?
-Yes?
456
00:36:48,915 --> 00:36:51,602
Mr. Douglas, I consider you the
greatest theatrical producer in London.
457
00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:53,208
-I...
-In fact, in the world.
458
00:36:53,294 --> 00:36:55,626
My dear young lady, what
precisely do you want?
459
00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:57,942
Well, I've read your list of
productions for the next London season.
460
00:36:57,966 --> 00:36:59,582
-Yes?
-They�re very bad.
461
00:36:59,676 --> 00:37:01,758
But believe me, there�s
no need for you to despair.
462
00:37:01,845 --> 00:37:04,553
The situation isn�t
entirely black, Mr. Douglas.
463
00:37:04,639 --> 00:37:06,742
Have you ever heard of a
playwright called Thomas Chambers?
464
00:37:06,766 --> 00:37:07,847
No, never!
465
00:37:07,934 --> 00:37:09,954
You've never read a play
called Good Night, Bassington?
466
00:37:09,978 --> 00:37:11,264
Heavens, no! Never!
467
00:37:11,354 --> 00:37:16,099
Well, here it is. Read
it. I'm sure you�ll adore it.
468
00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:18,183
It's a woman�s play.
469
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:20,936
Good-bye.
470
00:37:33,334 --> 00:37:34,790
Those faking art dealers!
471
00:37:34,878 --> 00:37:36,994
Peanut brains! Parasites!
472
00:37:39,716 --> 00:37:42,378
- Maybe he�s right. Maybe
they are - - No, they are not!
473
00:37:42,469 --> 00:37:44,697
-I don�t know, Gilda.
-Well, I know. Those paintings are great.
474
00:37:44,721 --> 00:37:47,158
-And don�t let anybody tell you they aren't.
-Three of them have.
475
00:37:47,182 --> 00:37:50,595
Well, they�re all fools. They�ll be breaking
their necks to get hold of your work.
476
00:37:50,685 --> 00:37:52,346
-Maybe when I'm dead.
-Stop it!
477
00:37:52,437 --> 00:37:54,348
If you can�t believe in
yourself, believe in me.
478
00:37:54,439 --> 00:37:56,476
I�m no good. I's
getting obvious.
479
00:37:56,566 --> 00:38:01,561
George, you�re a fine painter. You�re an artist.
You�re going to be one of the great ones.
480
00:38:01,654 --> 00:38:05,773
And if you lie down in the
middle of the road, I'll hate you!
481
00:38:09,496 --> 00:38:12,488
Well, friends...
482
00:38:12,582 --> 00:38:14,493
the gentleman addressing you...
483
00:38:14,584 --> 00:38:18,669
is none other than the illustrious
Mr. Thomas B. Chambers...
484
00:38:18,755 --> 00:38:22,214
the new dramatic thunderbolt
of the London theater.
485
00:38:23,384 --> 00:38:25,842
Good Night, Bassington...
486
00:38:25,929 --> 00:38:27,545
has been accepted.
487
00:38:27,639 --> 00:38:29,721
-You don�t mean it!
-Did you sign the contract?
488
00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:31,344
In letters of fire.
489
00:38:32,435 --> 00:38:34,392
One hundred pounds advance.
490
00:38:38,525 --> 00:38:40,107
It's colossal!
491
00:38:40,193 --> 00:38:41,934
-The Bank of England.
-Uh-huh.
492
00:38:42,028 --> 00:38:44,440
-That�s a good bank, huh?
-It's the best!
493
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:56,031
By the way, Gilda, I, uh...
494
00:38:56,125 --> 00:38:57,911
I neglected to mention...
495
00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:00,994
I�m supposed to go to London.
496
00:39:02,674 --> 00:39:04,790
-To London?
-Tonight.
497
00:39:04,884 --> 00:39:08,798
Uh, Mr. Douglas seems to think that I
might be of great help during rehearsals.
498
00:39:09,806 --> 00:39:13,344
You know, half the play
depends on someone...
499
00:39:13,434 --> 00:39:16,426
Bringing out its
brittle quality. Oh, yes.
500
00:39:18,273 --> 00:39:20,685
What do you think? Should I go?
501
00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:24,188
Oh, well, you could do a lot
in London, no doubt about that.
502
00:39:24,279 --> 00:39:26,737
And it would help the
publicity, of course.
503
00:39:26,823 --> 00:39:29,861
But on the other hand if you stayed
here, you could finish your new play.
504
00:39:29,951 --> 00:39:33,034
And yet you might make some
valuable connections in London.
505
00:39:33,121 --> 00:39:36,739
But I'm just wondering if you could do as good
work in the midst of all that hullabaloo...
506
00:39:36,833 --> 00:39:38,995
as you could if you stayed here.
507
00:39:40,378 --> 00:39:42,995
- Oh, well, Tom,
I - - Aw, Gilda.
508
00:39:44,299 --> 00:39:47,883
I couldn�t do good work anywhere
without you, and you know it.
509
00:39:48,887 --> 00:39:53,506
And if there should be any curtain calls after
that third act, how could I take the bows alone?
510
00:39:54,517 --> 00:39:56,224
You�re nice, Tom.
511
00:39:56,311 --> 00:39:57,972
I�m not going.
512
00:40:02,108 --> 00:40:05,351
Well, drop me a line from
London, old boy, will you?
513
00:40:05,445 --> 00:40:07,106
-Righto!
-Right!
514
00:40:07,196 --> 00:40:09,437
Step a little more
forward, Mr. Chambers.
515
00:40:09,532 --> 00:40:11,773
That�s it. Smile, please.
516
00:40:11,868 --> 00:40:14,451
-Take off your hat, Mr. Douglas.
-Oh!
517
00:40:14,537 --> 00:40:16,198
That�s it. Hold it!
518
00:40:20,877 --> 00:40:24,165
Well, in five weeks you'll
be taking the same train...
519
00:40:24,255 --> 00:40:26,792
and the three of us�ll sit in
the royal box at the opening.
520
00:40:26,883 --> 00:40:28,544
En voiture!
521
00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:30,797
En voiture!
522
00:40:30,887 --> 00:40:33,549
-Good-bye, boy.
-Good-bye, pal.
523
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,222
Good-bye, Gilda.
524
00:40:35,308 --> 00:40:38,346
Keep that old typewriter
of mine booted and spurred.
525
00:40:38,436 --> 00:40:40,894
I will.
526
00:40:40,980 --> 00:40:42,311
So long.
527
00:41:27,610 --> 00:41:29,146
You�ve had enough today.
528
00:41:29,237 --> 00:41:30,853
Please.
529
00:41:30,947 --> 00:41:32,437
Okay, teacher.
530
00:41:58,725 --> 00:42:01,558
I�ll have to sew
a button on there.
531
00:42:03,896 --> 00:42:05,557
Gilda...
532
00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:08,561
I'm a pretty gloomy guy tonight.
533
00:42:08,651 --> 00:42:11,393
I have an idea I'm going
to be rather bad company.
534
00:42:11,487 --> 00:42:12,898
Why don�t you...
535
00:42:12,989 --> 00:42:16,072
Why don�t you go out
to a movie or something?
536
00:42:16,159 --> 00:42:18,867
Tarzan is playing at
the Adelphia Theatre.
537
00:42:20,830 --> 00:42:22,821
Go on, like a good girl.
538
00:42:24,751 --> 00:42:27,914
Everything seems
different, doesn�t it?
539
00:42:29,797 --> 00:42:32,664
You�d better go,
Gilda, to Tarzan.
540
00:42:35,928 --> 00:42:38,545
I fancy this, uh...
541
00:42:38,639 --> 00:42:41,472
what you might call tension...
542
00:42:41,559 --> 00:42:43,550
would keep up for some weeks.
543
00:42:45,438 --> 00:42:48,897
Wouldn't it be wiser
if I moved to a hotel?
544
00:42:48,983 --> 00:42:50,690
Yes, ma�am.
545
00:43:10,922 --> 00:43:13,380
I love you, Gilda.
Why lie about it?
546
00:43:13,466 --> 00:43:16,629
You can�t change love by
shaking hands with somebody.
547
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:19,928
We�re unreal, the three of us,
trying to play jokes on nature.
548
00:43:21,682 --> 00:43:23,264
This is real.
549
00:43:28,564 --> 00:43:32,649
A million times more honest
than all the art in the world.
550
00:43:45,957 --> 00:43:47,698
I love you.
551
00:43:58,010 --> 00:44:00,843
It�s true we have a
gentleman�s agreement...
552
00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:05,633
but unfortunately I
am no gentleman.
553
00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:11,312
My dearest Gilda
and dear George.
554
00:44:13,776 --> 00:44:16,313
This is the first letter
I�ve ever dictated...
555
00:44:16,404 --> 00:44:19,897
so kindly overlook its correct
spelling and perfect punctuation.
556
00:44:20,950 --> 00:44:23,362
An honest heart
still beats beneath.
557
00:44:24,453 --> 00:44:27,115
Exclamation point,
dash, paragraph.
558
00:44:28,124 --> 00:44:30,582
Well, pals, you'll be
interested to know...
559
00:44:30,668 --> 00:44:34,662
that all London is agog
with my wit and charm.
560
00:44:34,755 --> 00:44:36,666
Underline �charm.�
561
00:44:36,757 --> 00:44:38,543
Period.
562
00:44:38,634 --> 00:44:42,844
Lady Upterdyke,
weight 203 ringside...
563
00:44:45,474 --> 00:44:50,389
has smuggled me into her
cage of trained social lions.
564
00:44:50,479 --> 00:44:52,766
Here I am on
exhibition nightly...
565
00:44:53,774 --> 00:44:56,812
up to my neck in duchesses.
566
00:44:56,903 --> 00:44:58,985
Period.
567
00:44:59,071 --> 00:45:01,904
The play, by the way, is in its
second week of rehearsals...
568
00:45:01,991 --> 00:45:03,481
and looks hotsy-totsy.
569
00:45:05,328 --> 00:45:08,241
I beg your pardon,
sir. �Hotsy-totsy�?
570
00:45:08,331 --> 00:45:09,947
Yes, hotsy-totsy.
571
00:45:11,542 --> 00:45:14,876
And yet, dear friends,
these triumphs leave me sad.
572
00:45:15,671 --> 00:45:17,958
In the midst of all
this pomp and glitter...
573
00:45:18,049 --> 00:45:20,040
I always remember that
our play was written...
574
00:45:20,134 --> 00:45:23,172
on that old Remington
Number 2 typewriter...
575
00:45:23,262 --> 00:45:26,425
and on a never-to-be-forgotten
diet of frankfurters.
576
00:45:28,684 --> 00:45:29,684
Sir?
577
00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:31,092
Hmm.
578
00:45:31,187 --> 00:45:33,547
My heart is in the highlands of Montmartre.
579
00:45:33,606 --> 00:45:37,691
And the - Come in. And the night
finds me pale and thoughtful, waiting...
580
00:45:39,028 --> 00:45:41,269
And the night finds me
pale and thoughtful...
581
00:45:41,364 --> 00:45:43,947
waiting for the end of my
exile when the three of us...
582
00:45:44,033 --> 00:45:46,900
Athos, Porthos and
Mademoiselle d�Artagnan...
583
00:45:46,994 --> 00:45:49,736
will sit in the royal
box at the opening...
584
00:46:15,356 --> 00:46:17,267
Start the letter over.
585
00:46:20,653 --> 00:46:22,644
Dear George and Gilda:
586
00:46:25,574 --> 00:46:27,064
Good luck.
587
00:46:31,497 --> 00:46:33,238
As ever, Tom.
588
00:46:52,435 --> 00:46:54,538
-Good evening, Mr. Chambers.
-Good evening. Good evening.
589
00:46:54,562 --> 00:46:55,998
-Good evening, Mr. Chambers.
-Good evening.
590
00:46:56,022 --> 00:46:57,457
-How�s the house tonight?
-Completely sold out.
591
00:46:57,481 --> 00:46:58,642
-Advance sale?
-Colossal!
592
00:46:58,733 --> 00:47:00,019
-Audience behaving?
-Angelic.
593
00:47:00,109 --> 00:47:01,270
-Applauding?
-Terrific.
594
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:02,521
Thanks.
595
00:47:02,611 --> 00:47:05,103
-How are the programs selling tonight?
-Enormous!
596
00:47:11,329 --> 00:47:13,866
-Busy?
-Tremendous.
597
00:47:13,956 --> 00:47:16,414
And what were
you doing on the fire escape?
598
00:47:16,500 --> 00:47:19,993
Cooling off.
599
00:47:40,441 --> 00:47:43,479
And what was
your mandolin doing in my bed?
600
00:47:43,569 --> 00:47:46,231
I must ask you to
leave my mandolin out of this.
601
00:47:55,498 --> 00:47:57,910
Edgar, I have
only one thing to say to you.
602
00:47:58,000 --> 00:47:59,911
Immorality may be fun,
but not fun enough...
603
00:48:00,002 --> 00:48:03,745
to take the place of 100% virtue
and three square meals a day!
604
00:48:22,441 --> 00:48:26,526
-That�s the funniest show, I think. Don�t you?
-You like that actor?
605
00:48:26,612 --> 00:48:29,104
I really enjoyed
that show very much.
606
00:48:34,787 --> 00:48:37,028
-How do you do, Mr. Plunkett?
-How do you do?
607
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:39,701
-Oh, Mr. Chambers!
-Yes?
608
00:48:39,792 --> 00:48:41,453
Well, hello.
609
00:48:41,544 --> 00:48:44,206
That�s a very funny play
you�ve got in there, in spots.
610
00:48:44,296 --> 00:48:46,663
Thank you. Thank
you. How - How�s Paris?
611
00:48:46,757 --> 00:48:49,715
Oh, great. Fine. Advertising
going bigger than ever.
612
00:48:49,802 --> 00:48:52,419
-The French are getting billboard crazy.
-I see. Hmm.
613
00:48:52,513 --> 00:48:54,800
And how - how�s Paris otherwise?
614
00:48:54,890 --> 00:48:57,973
-Oh, you don�t know what happened.
-No. What? What?
615
00:48:58,060 --> 00:49:00,472
Well, it�s, uh, quite a story.
616
00:49:00,563 --> 00:49:04,807
The, uh, French government objected
to showing Napoleon in union suits.
617
00:49:04,900 --> 00:49:07,688
Well, I was up against it
for a while, but I changed it...
618
00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:09,314
to Julius Caesar.
619
00:49:09,405 --> 00:49:11,817
I'll tell you something -
outsold Napoleon 2-to-1.
620
00:49:11,907 --> 00:49:13,614
-Hmm.
-Just goes to show.
621
00:49:13,701 --> 00:49:15,157
Mm-hmm.
622
00:49:15,244 --> 00:49:17,986
Anything - Anything
else going on in Paris?
623
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:21,493
Mmm, no. No.
624
00:49:21,584 --> 00:49:25,077
Well, I�m glad I ran into you. Yes.
Pretty good play for the money.
625
00:49:26,464 --> 00:49:29,957
Oh, Mr. Chambers. I almost forgot.
Best regards from George and Gilda.
626
00:49:30,050 --> 00:49:31,836
Oh, thanks, thanks.
How is George?
627
00:49:31,927 --> 00:49:33,383
We're friends.
628
00:49:33,471 --> 00:49:37,089
As you know, at first I was inclined to
withhold my approval of the whole thing...
629
00:49:37,183 --> 00:49:39,390
but you know how
much I like Gilda.
630
00:49:39,477 --> 00:49:43,892
It�s true I didn�t get to first base,
but lots of other people didn�t either.
631
00:49:43,981 --> 00:49:46,063
Yeah.
632
00:49:46,150 --> 00:49:48,983
Uh, is George, uh - Is George
getting - getting along nicely?
633
00:49:49,069 --> 00:49:52,152
Oh, great, great. He painted
me. A portrait, from here up.
634
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:55,857
-Hmm.
-That put him over in the art world. Yes, sir.
635
00:49:55,951 --> 00:49:58,318
And, uh, how - how is Gilda?
636
00:49:58,412 --> 00:50:03,373
Fine. When they first broached the project of
painting me, I put my foot down, but Gilda...
637
00:50:03,459 --> 00:50:05,370
-How-How is she?
-Fine.
638
00:50:05,461 --> 00:50:08,078
Turned out to be a great
painting. I's a masterpiece.
639
00:50:08,172 --> 00:50:11,290
Looks exactly like me. It's
called �Man With Derby.�
640
00:50:11,383 --> 00:50:12,873
-Mmm.
-Yes, sir.
641
00:50:12,968 --> 00:50:15,756
French museum bought
it. Snapped it right up.
642
00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:17,928
I�m hanging on exhibition
on the south wall.
643
00:50:18,015 --> 00:50:19,926
-Hmm!
-Attracts lots of people.
644
00:50:20,017 --> 00:50:21,803
Yes, sir.
645
00:50:21,894 --> 00:50:24,636
Is, uh - Is Gilda
happy? Is she...
646
00:50:24,730 --> 00:50:27,392
Oh, she�s just crazy
about that painting.
647
00:50:28,901 --> 00:50:32,189
Well, I'm glad I ran into you. I
don�t want to miss this last act. Yes.
648
00:50:41,914 --> 00:50:43,575
My things, please.
649
00:50:43,666 --> 00:50:45,577
Terrific tonight, isn�t it?
650
00:50:46,669 --> 00:50:48,330
Rather.
651
00:51:48,397 --> 00:51:51,139
-You want to talk to Mr. Curtis, don�t you?
-Yes.
652
00:51:51,233 --> 00:51:54,066
Well, I'm sorry, but
Mr. Curtis is not at home.
653
00:51:54,153 --> 00:51:56,064
Oh. What time do
you expect him back?
654
00:51:56,155 --> 00:51:58,146
Well, Mr. Curtis is out of town.
655
00:51:58,240 --> 00:51:59,526
That�s too bad.
656
00:51:59,617 --> 00:52:02,075
-Something important?
-Rather.
657
00:52:02,161 --> 00:52:04,653
Well, I'll let you
talk to his secretary.
658
00:52:04,747 --> 00:52:06,704
To his, uh, secretary?
659
00:52:06,790 --> 00:52:09,202
Yes, to his secretary. Please.
660
00:53:18,946 --> 00:53:20,277
Hello.
661
00:53:22,616 --> 00:53:24,823
-Mr. Curtis�s secretary?
-The same.
662
00:53:25,953 --> 00:53:27,443
My card.
663
00:53:28,247 --> 00:53:31,706
�Thomas B. Chambers,
London�s leading playwright...
664
00:53:31,792 --> 00:53:34,409
and foremost wit.�
665
00:53:34,503 --> 00:53:36,540
Oh, come on. It
doesn�t say that.
666
00:53:36,630 --> 00:53:38,291
It should.
667
00:53:38,382 --> 00:53:40,714
-Hello, you old vampire, you!
-You hooligan!
668
00:53:40,801 --> 00:53:43,543
-You Benedict Arnold!
-You...
669
00:53:43,637 --> 00:53:45,344
Shall we be seated?
670
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:57,228
-Mmm! Like your suit.
-Oh, thanks very much.
671
00:54:00,446 --> 00:54:02,357
I�m sorry George isn�t here.
672
00:54:02,448 --> 00:54:05,065
He�s in Nice. He�s
painting a Mrs. Butterfield.
673
00:54:05,159 --> 00:54:06,445
Really?
674
00:54:06,535 --> 00:54:09,197
A rotund but noble
creature from Des Moines.
675
00:54:10,205 --> 00:54:12,367
-Mmm. Des Moines, Iowa.
-Yes.
676
00:54:14,543 --> 00:54:16,500
Oh, it�s so good to see you.
677
00:54:17,254 --> 00:54:18,744
Is it?
678
00:54:25,012 --> 00:54:27,174
- I've so much
to - - To tell me.
679
00:54:29,057 --> 00:54:30,673
Yes.
680
00:54:30,768 --> 00:54:32,554
I can imagine.
681
00:54:45,532 --> 00:54:49,491
Oh, Tommy, if you've
forgiven George, why not me?
682
00:54:49,578 --> 00:54:51,910
-We did the same thing.
-Not at all.
683
00:54:52,915 --> 00:54:54,826
George betrayed me for you.
684
00:54:56,627 --> 00:54:59,585
Without wishing to flatter
you, I understood that.
685
00:55:04,176 --> 00:55:06,087
I can still understand it.
686
00:55:08,764 --> 00:55:11,176
But you betrayed me for George.
687
00:55:13,101 --> 00:55:15,058
An incredible choice.
688
00:55:19,441 --> 00:55:20,931
Tommy.
689
00:55:34,665 --> 00:55:36,326
You didn�t keep it oiled.
690
00:55:38,126 --> 00:55:39,867
I did for a while.
691
00:55:39,962 --> 00:55:42,169
The keys are rusty...
692
00:55:43,131 --> 00:55:45,122
and the shift is broken.
693
00:55:54,476 --> 00:55:56,592
But it still rings.
694
00:56:02,317 --> 00:56:04,228
It still rings.
695
00:56:09,992 --> 00:56:11,574
Does it?
696
00:56:22,546 --> 00:56:25,334
Oh! Mr. Plunkett. Please.
697
00:56:26,842 --> 00:56:28,708
Gilda?
698
00:56:31,221 --> 00:56:32,552
-Hello, Gilda.
-Hello.
699
00:56:32,639 --> 00:56:34,755
I must get in touch with
George immediately.
700
00:56:34,850 --> 00:56:37,829
I just got back from London, dropped into
the Luxembourg Museum with some friends...
701
00:56:37,853 --> 00:56:39,685
and big results for George.
702
00:56:39,771 --> 00:56:41,728
-I'm glad.
-A commission for two portraits.
703
00:56:41,815 --> 00:56:43,897
Mrs. Olsen of Buffalo. You
know the Buffalo Olsens.
704
00:56:43,984 --> 00:56:46,191
-Oh, yes.
-And Ernie Maxwell, the tomato juice man.
705
00:56:46,278 --> 00:56:49,737
-The tomato juice man.
-Hmm. Both are willing to pay as high as...
706
00:56:49,823 --> 00:56:52,781
Why, what�s the matter? ls George
back? Why didn�t you tell me?
707
00:56:52,868 --> 00:56:54,984
-He came unexpectedly this morning.
-He did?
708
00:56:55,078 --> 00:56:56,989
-Mm-hmm.
-George!
709
00:56:57,873 --> 00:56:59,534
Shh! He�s asleep.
710
00:56:59,625 --> 00:57:03,118
He only arrived a couple of hours
ago. He had a dreadful night on the train.
711
00:57:03,211 --> 00:57:05,122
You know, his old
neuralgia�s back.
712
00:57:05,213 --> 00:57:08,922
Oh. Well, you tell him to get in touch
with me just as soon as he wakes up.
713
00:57:09,009 --> 00:57:11,171
-Good-bye.
-Good-bye. Thanks, Max.
714
00:57:11,261 --> 00:57:13,218
- Oh, I almost - - Shh!
715
00:57:17,935 --> 00:57:20,643
I almost forgot to tell you.
Guess who I saw in London.
716
00:57:20,729 --> 00:57:23,312
-The king?
-No, no, no! Tom Chambers.
717
00:57:23,398 --> 00:57:25,184
Oh. How is he?
718
00:57:25,275 --> 00:57:30,145
Well, I wouldn�t want George to
hear this, but if you ask me, no good.
719
00:57:30,238 --> 00:57:31,524
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
720
00:57:31,615 --> 00:57:33,652
You made the right
choice, all right -in a way.
721
00:57:33,742 --> 00:57:35,528
That guy in there
- 10 times as good.
722
00:57:35,619 --> 00:57:37,530
Max, do me a favor. Go away.
723
00:57:37,621 --> 00:57:40,350
Of course, I know, you always had
a soft spot for this fellow Chambers.
724
00:57:40,374 --> 00:57:42,160
Please, Max. I've
a terrible headache.
725
00:57:42,250 --> 00:57:43,911
Why, what�s the
matter? Anything wrong?
726
00:57:44,002 --> 00:57:46,539
No. Just one of my blue days.
727
00:57:46,630 --> 00:57:48,792
-Can I do anything for you?
-No, Max, please!
728
00:57:48,882 --> 00:57:51,795
Well, uh, don�t tell George
that I even mentioned Tom.
729
00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:54,297
I wouldn�t want to be mixed
up - You know how it is.
730
00:57:54,388 --> 00:57:56,574
-It's a rather delicate matter.
-And you don�t want to broach it.
731
00:57:56,598 --> 00:57:58,088
-No.
-Then don�t.
732
00:57:58,183 --> 00:57:59,673
-Good-bye, Max.
-Good-bye.
733
00:57:59,768 --> 00:58:01,725
-Thanks.
-Why don�t you try some aspirin?
734
00:58:01,812 --> 00:58:04,850
Oh, you�re sweet, Max, but
aspirin won�t help this time.
735
00:58:04,940 --> 00:58:07,477
-Nothing serious, I hope.
-I hope not.
736
00:58:07,567 --> 00:58:09,308
Well, if - if anything
should happen...
737
00:58:09,403 --> 00:58:12,191
I�ll come to you and
ask for your advice.
738
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:14,362
-Will you?
-Always, Max.
739
00:58:14,449 --> 00:58:16,941
-Thank you, Gilda.
-Thank you.
740
00:58:17,035 --> 00:58:18,525
Good-bye.
741
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:30,791
Breakfast is ready.
742
00:58:45,814 --> 00:58:47,475
No orange juice?
743
00:58:47,566 --> 00:58:49,523
We never have any.
744
00:58:49,609 --> 00:58:52,897
Darling, will you remember after this
- orange juice every morning, hmm?
745
00:58:52,988 --> 00:58:54,774
Large glass.
746
00:58:54,865 --> 00:58:56,902
Every morning, huh?
747
00:58:56,992 --> 00:58:58,699
Except Sunday.
748
00:58:58,785 --> 00:59:00,492
Uh, baked apple.
749
00:59:01,830 --> 00:59:04,413
It�s going to make a big
revolution in my menu.
750
00:59:07,085 --> 00:59:09,076
The eggs are just right.
751
00:59:09,755 --> 00:59:11,746
You can have mine too.
752
00:59:13,050 --> 00:59:15,382
-No eggs for Gilda?
-No.
753
00:59:17,095 --> 00:59:19,177
-Conscience bothering you?
-No.
754
00:59:19,931 --> 00:59:21,547
Confused?
755
00:59:22,726 --> 00:59:24,387
Very much so.
756
00:59:25,437 --> 00:59:28,020
-Gilda.
-Yes?
757
00:59:28,106 --> 00:59:30,973
ls George still given
to smashing things?
758
00:59:31,068 --> 00:59:34,402
Well, we have to tell him the truth
regardless of what happens to the furniture.
759
00:59:35,864 --> 00:59:37,775
I wonder if he�ll hit me.
760
00:59:38,950 --> 00:59:40,861
He was never very civilized.
761
00:59:41,536 --> 00:59:47,248
You're right. He is kind
of - kind of barbaric.
762
00:59:49,544 --> 00:59:53,754
You know, Gilda, we did a
marvelous job on that third act...
763
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:57,458
and I have a feeling that if we got together
and collaborated on a note to leave behind...
764
00:59:57,552 --> 00:59:59,168
and really worked on it...
765
00:59:59,262 --> 01:00:01,549
it would not only be a
very fine piece of literature...
766
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:04,428
but it might save
me a black eye.
767
01:00:04,518 --> 01:00:07,476
No, no, I can�t run away. I don�t
know how I'm going to tell him.
768
01:00:07,562 --> 01:00:09,803
I don�t dare think.
769
01:00:09,898 --> 01:00:12,890
I don�t even know what
I�m going to tell him.
770
01:00:15,153 --> 01:00:16,894
It's very simple.
771
01:00:16,988 --> 01:00:18,820
You love me.
772
01:00:18,907 --> 01:00:21,990
That's the only thing
I�m sure of right now.
773
01:00:22,077 --> 01:00:24,318
Let�s forget the rest.
Let�s not talk about it.
774
01:00:24,412 --> 01:00:27,154
We've two more
days. Let�s enjoy them.
775
01:00:27,249 --> 01:00:29,035
Oh, my dear!
776
01:00:36,258 --> 01:00:38,670
Tommy, I never forgot you.
777
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:40,922
In fact, you never left me.
778
01:00:41,012 --> 01:00:43,504
You haunted me
like a nasty ghost.
779
01:00:44,516 --> 01:00:48,305
On rainy nights, I could hear
you moaning down the chimney.
780
01:00:50,605 --> 01:00:52,516
Tommy. Tommy.
781
01:00:54,943 --> 01:00:57,856
-What'll we do after lunch?
-We'll take a long walk for our digestion.
782
01:00:57,946 --> 01:01:00,438
Oh, yes, let�s walk and
walk until we�re dead tired.
783
01:01:00,532 --> 01:01:02,523
Gilda, I've got a better idea.
784
01:01:04,035 --> 01:01:06,697
Let�s stay home instead.
785
01:01:30,187 --> 01:01:33,054
Well, London Louie,
the old rat himself!
786
01:01:34,816 --> 01:01:38,025
-You phony playwright! How are you?
-I�m fine.
787
01:01:38,111 --> 01:01:40,148
-When did you arrive?
-La-Last night.
788
01:01:40,238 --> 01:01:42,149
Boy, I can�t tell you how...
789
01:01:43,783 --> 01:01:45,399
-How are you, darling?
-Fine.
790
01:01:45,493 --> 01:01:48,235
I forgot to kiss you.
You can blame him.
791
01:01:52,167 --> 01:01:55,080
-Well, how are you, pal?
-Ouch! Fine.
792
01:01:55,170 --> 01:01:57,332
Lucky I walked out
on the Butterfields.
793
01:01:57,422 --> 01:01:59,083
Well, what happened?
794
01:01:59,174 --> 01:02:03,759
Oh, a very involved argument
about la Butterfield�s double chin.
795
01:02:03,845 --> 01:02:08,134
I said to her, �Madam, I
am an artist, not a masseur.�
796
01:02:08,225 --> 01:02:10,592
Up speaks
Mr. Butterfield, and, uh...
797
01:02:15,857 --> 01:02:17,848
What are you doing in that suit?
798
01:02:31,122 --> 01:02:34,114
Tuxedo for breakfast, huh?
Is that a new London custom?
799
01:02:34,209 --> 01:02:36,200
- George - - I didn�t ask you.
800
01:02:38,630 --> 01:02:40,962
Well, Tom.
801
01:02:41,049 --> 01:02:43,040
You know what I�m thinking.
802
01:02:44,636 --> 01:02:46,297
It's true.
803
01:02:46,388 --> 01:02:48,299
- George - - Shut up!
804
01:03:08,076 --> 01:03:10,238
Well, that�s one way
of meeting the situation.
805
01:03:10,328 --> 01:03:13,036
Shipping clerk comes home,
finds missus with boarder.
806
01:03:13,123 --> 01:03:15,080
He breaks dishes.
807
01:03:15,166 --> 01:03:17,077
It's pure burlesque.
808
01:03:17,168 --> 01:03:18,875
Then there�s another way.
809
01:03:18,962 --> 01:03:23,172
Intelligent artist returns
unexpectedly, finds treacherous friends.
810
01:03:23,258 --> 01:03:27,343
Both discuss the pros and cons of
the situation in grown-up dialogue.
811
01:03:28,638 --> 01:03:31,300
High-class comedy,
enjoyed by everybody.
812
01:03:31,391 --> 01:03:32,881
And there�s a third way.
813
01:03:32,976 --> 01:03:36,469
I'll kick your teeth out, tear your head
off and beat some decency into you!
814
01:03:36,563 --> 01:03:38,679
Cheap melodrama. Very dull.
815
01:03:43,028 --> 01:03:44,735
George, stop it.
816
01:03:45,363 --> 01:03:46,728
Still very dull.
817
01:03:46,823 --> 01:03:49,360
I suppose you
feel sorry for him.
818
01:03:49,451 --> 01:03:51,783
I feel sorry for you.
819
01:03:51,870 --> 01:03:53,781
I�m sorry I hurt you.
820
01:03:55,457 --> 01:03:57,994
But it was inevitable.
821
01:03:58,084 --> 01:04:00,416
Go on. Get out of
here, both of you.
822
01:04:01,421 --> 01:04:03,128
It's hard to believe
I - I loved you both.
823
01:04:03,214 --> 01:04:05,192
-George!
-I don�t want any part of either of you.
824
01:04:05,216 --> 01:04:09,210
Go on! Go with him in his top hat and
fancy pants and silly name in lights...
825
01:04:09,304 --> 01:04:11,295
and good luck to both of you!
826
01:04:13,475 --> 01:04:15,682
The London train leaves at 4:00.
827
01:04:16,978 --> 01:04:19,015
You'll be very happy.
828
01:04:19,105 --> 01:04:20,595
I promise.
829
01:04:22,192 --> 01:04:23,853
Thank you, Tom.
830
01:04:23,943 --> 01:04:25,433
I'll pack.
831
01:04:30,325 --> 01:04:31,986
Good-bye, George.
832
01:04:33,578 --> 01:04:35,615
You did the right thing
about the Butterfields.
833
01:04:35,705 --> 01:04:37,571
And, George...
834
01:04:37,665 --> 01:04:41,124
after I've gone, don�t change.
835
01:04:41,211 --> 01:04:43,543
Don�t ever bow to double chins.
836
01:04:43,630 --> 01:04:45,246
Stay an artist.
837
01:04:45,340 --> 01:04:46,830
That�s important.
838
01:04:48,051 --> 01:04:51,885
In fact, the most
important thing.
839
01:05:17,831 --> 01:05:22,041
I didn�t want to praise you in front of
Gilda, but you certainly pack a wicked right.
840
01:05:23,128 --> 01:05:24,789
A real wallop.
841
01:05:32,011 --> 01:05:34,298
There are a number of things
here which belong to her.
842
01:05:34,389 --> 01:05:35,925
Oh, that�s all
right. Never mind.
843
01:05:36,015 --> 01:05:38,848
No, no, I don�t want them.
Where shall I send them?
844
01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:41,597
Forward them in my name in
care of the Carlton Theatre, London.
845
01:05:42,772 --> 01:05:46,310
-And her mail?
-Same place. I'll see that she gets it.
846
01:05:46,401 --> 01:05:49,063
-Anything else?
-Not that I can think of.
847
01:05:50,238 --> 01:05:52,946
If anything should come up,
will you be at this address?
848
01:05:53,032 --> 01:05:56,570
That�s immaterial. I don�t wish
to enter into any correspondence.
849
01:05:56,661 --> 01:05:58,243
As you wish.
850
01:05:58,329 --> 01:06:00,391
Better tell her to hurry up.
It�s getting to be a strain.
851
01:06:00,415 --> 01:06:03,018
-Well, you gotta give her a chance to pack.
-Well, tell her to hurry up!
852
01:06:03,042 --> 01:06:05,033
All right! All right!
Hurry up, Gilda!
853
01:06:06,754 --> 01:06:08,665
Hurry up, darling.
854
01:06:12,510 --> 01:06:14,421
Here, you rattlesnake.
855
01:06:15,263 --> 01:06:18,426
-So that�s how you feel.
-Yes, that's how I feel. Understand?
856
01:06:18,516 --> 01:06:20,006
Perfectly.
857
01:06:20,101 --> 01:06:23,014
I felt that way once.
858
01:06:23,104 --> 01:06:25,596
Gilda, have you got
room in your trunk?
859
01:07:02,101 --> 01:07:04,058
Here. For you.
860
01:07:04,145 --> 01:07:06,261
-What's that?
-A note from Gilda.
861
01:07:21,871 --> 01:07:23,532
�Tommy dear.
862
01:07:26,334 --> 01:07:31,454
I am running away because I am afraid
your house in London has a chimney too...
863
01:07:31,548 --> 01:07:34,381
and I fancy on rainy
nights, I would hear...
864
01:07:38,179 --> 01:07:42,264
And I fancy on rainy nights, I would
hear that old devil George moaning.
865
01:07:42,350 --> 01:07:44,887
So be nice, and let me be nice.
866
01:07:44,978 --> 01:07:47,470
Maybe I'll like it. Gilda.�
867
01:08:36,487 --> 01:08:38,819
-You think she�ll come back?
-No.
868
01:08:39,991 --> 01:08:41,652
Should we try to find her?
869
01:08:41,743 --> 01:08:43,359
What's the use?
870
01:08:43,453 --> 01:08:46,787
The mother of the arts
wants to be a nice girl.
871
01:08:48,166 --> 01:08:50,407
Tragic.
872
01:08:50,501 --> 01:08:52,959
No, it's comic.
873
01:08:53,046 --> 01:08:56,539
Two slightly used
artists in the ash can.
874
01:08:59,093 --> 01:09:00,800
You�ll get drunk.
875
01:09:02,388 --> 01:09:04,755
It's the only
sensible thing to do.
876
01:09:08,770 --> 01:09:10,306
To Gilda.
877
01:09:10,396 --> 01:09:11,978
To Gilda.
878
01:09:19,656 --> 01:09:22,398
Would you care to hit
me? Please help yourself.
879
01:09:22,492 --> 01:09:24,859
Sorry. I'm too high-class.
880
01:09:24,952 --> 01:09:27,444
-A gentleman, huh?
-To my fingertips.
881
01:09:28,539 --> 01:09:33,079
May I refer you to a letter sent to
you from London in a similar crisis?
882
01:09:33,169 --> 01:09:35,206
A very high-class document.
883
01:09:35,296 --> 01:09:38,755
I could have enclosed
some smallpox germs easily.
884
01:09:38,841 --> 01:09:40,832
But you didn�t.
885
01:09:40,927 --> 01:09:43,464
Very considerate.
886
01:09:43,554 --> 01:09:45,465
Let�s drink to that.
887
01:09:56,317 --> 01:09:58,558
To smallpox germs.
888
01:09:58,653 --> 01:10:01,862
In Latin, variola cocci.
889
01:10:11,332 --> 01:10:13,949
I think we�re being
very sensible.
890
01:10:14,043 --> 01:10:15,909
Extremely.
891
01:10:16,003 --> 01:10:18,916
-Good for our livers.
-Good for our immortal souls.
892
01:10:19,006 --> 01:10:21,168
But bad for our stomachs.
893
01:10:21,259 --> 01:10:23,466
Ah! That�s loose thinking.
894
01:10:23,553 --> 01:10:27,842
What�s bad for your stomach may
be highly entertaining for my stomach.
895
01:10:28,850 --> 01:10:33,014
I'm glad the conversation
has taken a scientific turn.
896
01:10:33,104 --> 01:10:36,096
Well, it�s better than
discussing this Gilda.
897
01:10:36,190 --> 01:10:38,306
-We must forget Gilda.
-Utterly.
898
01:10:39,527 --> 01:10:41,768
-Let�s change the subject.
-Right.
899
01:10:41,863 --> 01:10:44,696
Let�s talk about
something entirely new.
900
01:10:45,950 --> 01:10:48,692
Let�s talk about ourselves.
901
01:10:48,786 --> 01:10:50,447
Very interesting.
902
01:10:59,213 --> 01:11:00,874
-To ourselves.
-No.
903
01:11:01,883 --> 01:11:03,669
It's bad taste.
904
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:06,252
Well, we can�t drink to nothing.
905
01:11:06,345 --> 01:11:08,962
Well, it's better than
drinking to ourselves.
906
01:11:10,308 --> 01:11:11,798
-To nothing.
-No!
907
01:11:12,810 --> 01:11:14,847
I refuse to be silly.
908
01:11:14,937 --> 01:11:16,848
That's right.
909
01:11:16,939 --> 01:11:19,397
Well, there must be
a reason for drinking.
910
01:11:22,195 --> 01:11:24,311
- To, uh - - No!
911
01:11:24,405 --> 01:11:26,692
I beg your pardon.
912
01:11:26,783 --> 01:11:30,902
To Kaplan and McGuire.
913
01:11:30,995 --> 01:11:33,612
Uh, don�t be hasty.
914
01:11:34,916 --> 01:11:36,577
To Kaplan.
915
01:11:40,588 --> 01:11:42,078
Ah.
916
01:11:47,094 --> 01:11:49,131
And now to McGuire.
917
01:11:54,352 --> 01:11:56,309
A letter to my mother.
918
01:11:57,522 --> 01:12:00,605
Mrs. Oscar F. Plunkett,
Utica, New York.
919
01:12:03,611 --> 01:12:07,946
I will arrive on the 25th of this month
on the U.S. liner S.S. Manhattan.
920
01:12:08,950 --> 01:12:11,783
I will be accompanied
by Miss Gilda Farrell.
921
01:12:12,870 --> 01:12:16,784
Miss Gilda Farrell is the daughter
of Mr. and Mrs. Anthony G. Farrell...
922
01:12:16,874 --> 01:12:19,366
of Fargo, North Dakota.
923
01:13:07,341 --> 01:13:09,753
-Got the ring?
-Check.
924
01:13:09,844 --> 01:13:11,630
-Feel nervous, Max?
-No.
925
01:13:11,721 --> 01:13:14,179
Had a fine nap. Feel
a hundred percent.
926
01:13:44,670 --> 01:13:48,083
How does it feel to be
Mrs. Plunkett? Any different?
927
01:13:48,174 --> 01:13:52,543
Well, it feels like standing
with your feet on the ground.
928
01:13:53,763 --> 01:13:56,630
Peaceful, Max, and so secure.
929
01:13:56,724 --> 01:13:58,055
You bet.
930
01:13:58,142 --> 01:14:01,134
It�s going to be nice to
be a law-abiding citizen.
931
01:14:01,228 --> 01:14:02,718
Gilda!
932
01:14:03,731 --> 01:14:05,688
What lovely flowers.
933
01:14:07,485 --> 01:14:10,273
�Strump and Egelbauer.�
934
01:14:10,363 --> 01:14:12,320
Very fine people,
Strump and Egelbauer.
935
01:14:12,406 --> 01:14:14,147
-Biggest cement people in town.
-Oh.
936
01:14:14,241 --> 01:14:15,857
Oh, you'll like �em.
937
01:14:15,952 --> 01:14:17,613
They sound adorable.
938
01:14:17,703 --> 01:14:19,034
-Gilda.
-Yes, Max?
939
01:14:19,121 --> 01:14:22,239
Now that it�s all over -
the excitement, et cetera...
940
01:14:22,333 --> 01:14:24,415
I'd like to know,
what�s your attitude?
941
01:14:24,502 --> 01:14:26,334
My attitude? Well, toward what?
942
01:14:26,420 --> 01:14:28,161
I mean, do you love me?
943
01:14:28,255 --> 01:14:29,711
Oh, Max.
944
01:14:29,799 --> 01:14:32,507
People should never ask that
question on their wedding night.
945
01:14:32,593 --> 01:14:34,834
It's either too
late or too early.
946
01:14:34,929 --> 01:14:37,011
I�m your wife, Max.
947
01:14:37,098 --> 01:14:38,930
That�s well put.
948
01:14:40,977 --> 01:14:43,344
-Gilda, it's 9:30.
-Oh, that late?
949
01:14:43,437 --> 01:14:46,020
Yes, and I have an appointment
in the morning, 10:15 sharp.
950
01:14:46,107 --> 01:14:48,064
Oh, yes.
951
01:14:48,150 --> 01:14:49,640
Beautiful!
952
01:14:52,655 --> 01:14:54,692
�Kaplan and McGuire�!
953
01:14:54,782 --> 01:14:57,365
Your friends from now
on, as well as mine.
954
01:15:10,464 --> 01:15:12,125
What did they do that for?
955
01:15:12,216 --> 01:15:14,878
Why, they want to remember
us. I think it's very nice of them.
956
01:15:14,969 --> 01:15:16,630
This is no time for remembering.
957
01:15:16,721 --> 01:15:20,510
It would have been much more tactful
of them to forget. I think it�s offensive.
958
01:15:20,599 --> 01:15:23,216
Oh, well, now, that�s a
closed chapter in your life.
959
01:15:23,310 --> 01:15:25,426
Anyhow, you�ve nothing to
worry about on that score.
960
01:15:25,521 --> 01:15:28,104
-I've forgiven you.
-Forgiven me? For what?
961
01:15:28,190 --> 01:15:29,851
Oh, that�s all right.
962
01:15:29,942 --> 01:15:32,796
-Well, I don�t want to be forgiven!
-Well, I forgive you just the same.
963
01:15:32,820 --> 01:15:34,731
It'll make you feel better.
964
01:15:34,822 --> 01:15:36,438
It's their idea of a joke.
965
01:15:36,532 --> 01:15:40,617
I can just see them sitting in
China, laughing their heads off.
966
01:15:40,703 --> 01:15:42,364
About what?
967
01:15:43,456 --> 01:15:45,288
It's a rotten trick.
968
01:15:45,374 --> 01:15:47,144
-It's cheap.
-Well, it shouldn�t surprise you.
969
01:15:47,168 --> 01:15:50,411
They never fooled me
for a minute. Hooligans.
970
01:15:50,504 --> 01:15:52,745
Max, I don�t care to
discuss them at all...
971
01:15:52,840 --> 01:15:55,207
but if you ever feel it�s
necessary to mention them...
972
01:15:55,301 --> 01:15:57,383
don�t call them hooligans!
973
01:15:57,470 --> 01:15:59,757
Oh, well, of course, they
have some fine qualities.
974
01:15:59,847 --> 01:16:02,430
Please stop talking about them!
975
01:16:02,516 --> 01:16:04,427
It's my wedding night.
976
01:16:04,518 --> 01:16:07,180
Leave those two boys
where they are - in China!
977
01:16:10,024 --> 01:16:12,356
I've an appointment
tomorrow morning.
978
01:16:14,070 --> 01:16:16,061
10:15 sharp. It�s important.
979
01:18:09,727 --> 01:18:11,638
-Hello, darling.
-Hello.
980
01:18:17,651 --> 01:18:20,609
Well, Gilda. Great news for you.
981
01:18:20,696 --> 01:18:22,687
-Our party�s in the bag.
-Really?
982
01:18:22,781 --> 01:18:24,897
-Yes, sir. Guess what.
-I give up.
983
01:18:24,992 --> 01:18:27,575
-Mr. Egelbauer has accepted.
-Is that good?
984
01:18:27,661 --> 01:18:30,198
Say, listen, I'll
guarantee you one thing...
985
01:18:30,289 --> 01:18:33,769
Let this party be a success, and inside of
two weeks we�ll be invited to the Egelbauers.
986
01:18:33,834 --> 01:18:37,077
I see. An eye for an
eye, a tooth for a tooth.
987
01:18:37,171 --> 01:18:38,878
Oh, don�t talk like that.
988
01:18:38,964 --> 01:18:42,753
Strump and Egelbauer are figuring on the greatest
publicity campaign in the history of cement.
989
01:18:42,843 --> 01:18:45,380
Well, what about the Strumps?
Don�t we have to invite them too?
990
01:18:45,471 --> 01:18:48,259
Mr. Strump comes first.
�Strump and Egelbauer.�
991
01:18:48,349 --> 01:18:50,841
No, no, no. We can�t have
them at the same time.
992
01:18:50,935 --> 01:18:52,926
-They�re not on speaking terms.
-That�s right.
993
01:18:53,020 --> 01:18:55,387
I forgot about Mr. Strump
and Mrs. Egelbauer.
994
01:18:55,481 --> 01:18:57,597
Oh, don�t mention that!
Don�t even breathe it.
995
01:18:57,691 --> 01:18:59,523
-I won't.
-You promise?
996
01:18:59,610 --> 01:19:01,442
Promise.
997
01:19:01,528 --> 01:19:03,439
Word of honor?
998
01:19:03,530 --> 01:19:05,362
Cross my heart.
999
01:19:05,449 --> 01:19:07,440
And please don�t worry
about the Strumps.
1000
01:19:07,534 --> 01:19:09,445
A week from Tuesday
we have the Strumps.
1001
01:19:09,536 --> 01:19:11,447
That�s diplomacy.
1002
01:19:11,538 --> 01:19:13,779
And if this Strump party
is a big social success...
1003
01:19:13,874 --> 01:19:15,852
is there any chance we�ll
be invited to the Strumps?
1004
01:19:15,876 --> 01:19:18,538
-It�s a cinch.
-What a season!
1005
01:19:25,427 --> 01:19:29,421
Everybody, please. Everybody who wants to
play Twenty Questions, all in the living room.
1006
01:19:33,769 --> 01:19:36,489
Everybody who wants to play
Twenty Questions, all in the living room.
1007
01:19:36,563 --> 01:19:38,895
Oh, that sounds fun!
1008
01:19:40,150 --> 01:19:41,891
Everybody who wants to play...
1009
01:19:45,948 --> 01:19:48,565
Gilda, what are you doing here?
1010
01:19:48,659 --> 01:19:50,570
-Just resting between rounds.
-Oh.
1011
01:19:50,661 --> 01:19:52,764
Well, we�re going to play Twenty
Questions in the living room.
1012
01:19:52,788 --> 01:19:54,428
-Mr. Egelbauer�s requested it.
-Oh, Max!
1013
01:19:54,498 --> 01:19:56,159
Oh, it's gonna be great fun.
1014
01:19:56,250 --> 01:19:59,163
But I've had so much fun all
evening. It's almost too much for me.
1015
01:19:59,253 --> 01:20:01,335
Post Office with
Kaplan and McGuire.
1016
01:20:01,422 --> 01:20:03,379
Drop the Handkerchief
with the linoleum group.
1017
01:20:03,465 --> 01:20:04,796
But Mr. Egelbauer...
1018
01:20:04,883 --> 01:20:07,070
Well, I've just played Going to
Jerusalem with Mr. Egelbauer.
1019
01:20:07,094 --> 01:20:09,005
Well, now he wants to
play Twenty Questions.
1020
01:20:09,096 --> 01:20:11,366
Oh, you've got to come.
There�s no way of getting out of it.
1021
01:20:11,390 --> 01:20:12,926
All right.
1022
01:20:19,940 --> 01:20:21,931
We'll start right away.
1023
01:20:24,236 --> 01:20:25,818
-Shh!
-Shh!
1024
01:20:27,364 --> 01:20:29,025
All right, Gilda.
1025
01:20:31,952 --> 01:20:34,740
Is it animal,
vegetable or mineral?
1026
01:20:56,935 --> 01:20:58,551
Are you expected?
1027
01:20:58,645 --> 01:21:01,057
No, not exactly expected.
1028
01:21:01,148 --> 01:21:04,891
Anticipated, uh, hoped
for and dreamed about.
1029
01:21:07,821 --> 01:21:09,812
-Do you wish to see Mr. Plunkett?
-No!
1030
01:21:09,907 --> 01:21:12,945
-Positively no.
-Mrs. Plunkett, if you please.
1031
01:21:13,035 --> 01:21:15,697
Mrs. Plunkett is engaged
in playing Twenty Questions.
1032
01:21:15,788 --> 01:21:19,076
-She can�t be disturbed.
-Oh! Oh, I see.
1033
01:21:19,166 --> 01:21:20,907
-Twenty Questions?
-Mmm.
1034
01:21:21,001 --> 01:21:23,117
-Hmm.
-It makes it rather difficult.
1035
01:21:23,212 --> 01:21:25,829
Well, uh, what
you say, Inspector?
1036
01:21:25,923 --> 01:21:28,039
I beg your pardon.
This is Inspector Knox.
1037
01:21:28,133 --> 01:21:30,295
-How do you do, sir?
-How do you do?
1038
01:21:30,386 --> 01:21:33,128
Well, Sergeant - Excuse
me. Sergeant O�Toole.
1039
01:21:33,222 --> 01:21:35,213
-How do you do?
-How do you do, sir?
1040
01:21:35,307 --> 01:21:37,218
Headquarters.
1041
01:21:37,309 --> 01:21:39,141
Shall I notify them?
1042
01:21:39,228 --> 01:21:41,720
Oh, no, don�t bother,
please. we'll, uh - We'll wait.
1043
01:21:41,814 --> 01:21:43,896
-Any trouble?
-No, no, not at all.
1044
01:21:43,982 --> 01:21:47,270
We�re only here in behalf of
the Policeman�s Benefit Ball.
1045
01:21:47,361 --> 01:21:49,443
-About some tickets?
-Righto.
1046
01:21:49,530 --> 01:21:51,862
All right. Wait if you want to.
1047
01:21:54,326 --> 01:21:56,567
Well, uh, Inspector...
1048
01:21:56,662 --> 01:21:58,699
how did the butler strike you?
1049
01:21:58,789 --> 01:22:01,622
-A dual personality.
-Hmm.
1050
01:22:01,708 --> 01:22:03,790
Shall we, uh, look
over the premises?
1051
01:22:03,877 --> 01:22:05,413
Righto, Sergeant.
1052
01:22:05,504 --> 01:22:08,212
We may run into
some valuable clues.
1053
01:22:08,298 --> 01:22:10,460
-Shall we start with the kitchen?
-No.
1054
01:22:10,551 --> 01:22:12,542
-Let�s begin with the boudoir.
-Ah.
1055
01:22:20,227 --> 01:22:22,559
-Animal, vegetable or mineral?
-Animal!
1056
01:22:56,305 --> 01:22:57,795
-Gilda!
-I won�t do it!
1057
01:22:57,890 --> 01:23:01,099
I guessed Mr. Egelbauer in 10
questions, and that�s enough. I'm worn out.
1058
01:23:06,982 --> 01:23:08,689
Gilda, I insist.
1059
01:23:08,775 --> 01:23:10,061
I won�t do it!
1060
01:23:10,152 --> 01:23:12,393
-You�re ruining everything.
-I don�t care!
1061
01:23:12,488 --> 01:23:14,695
I won�t ask
Mr. Egelbauer to sing.
1062
01:23:14,781 --> 01:23:16,843
-All right. Then I'll have to ask him myself.
-Fine!
1063
01:23:16,867 --> 01:23:19,262
-And you�ll have to come downstairs and listen.
-Nothing doing.
1064
01:23:19,286 --> 01:23:21,243
But he-he - he
brought his music.
1065
01:23:21,330 --> 01:23:24,197
I�m not going to listen
to that Egelbauer sing!
1066
01:23:24,291 --> 01:23:26,623
I won�t! I won�t! I won�t!
1067
01:23:27,794 --> 01:23:30,707
Oh, please, Max, let me rest.
1068
01:23:30,797 --> 01:23:33,129
All right. Get your rest.
1069
01:23:36,929 --> 01:23:38,920
Take two minutes and come down.
1070
01:23:41,725 --> 01:23:43,716
Oh, Egelbauer!
1071
01:23:45,312 --> 01:23:47,644
# Egelbauerg #
# Egelbauer #
1072
01:23:48,732 --> 01:23:53,317
# Egelbauer #
1073
01:24:03,121 --> 01:24:06,284
Well, dear me. Look who�s here.
1074
01:24:12,089 --> 01:24:14,000
How did you get in?
1075
01:24:15,050 --> 01:24:18,418
-Shall we tell her?
-I would. We have nothing to conceal.
1076
01:24:19,846 --> 01:24:21,837
The stork brought us.
1077
01:24:23,016 --> 01:24:25,929
I thought you were in China.
1078
01:24:26,019 --> 01:24:27,930
We moved.
1079
01:24:28,021 --> 01:24:30,513
-Shall we sit down?
-Yes, please.
1080
01:24:36,029 --> 01:24:37,895
That�s Tom.
1081
01:24:37,990 --> 01:24:39,981
-And that�s George.
-And this is Gilda.
1082
01:24:40,075 --> 01:24:42,066
Oh, no, that�s not Gilda.
That's Mrs. Plunkett.
1083
01:24:42,160 --> 01:24:44,868
-No, that�s Gilda.
-Oh, let�s see.
1084
01:24:44,955 --> 01:24:46,992
Well, there�s a
certain resemblance.
1085
01:24:47,082 --> 01:24:48,743
You're right. It�s
Mrs. Plunkett.
1086
01:24:48,834 --> 01:24:51,872
But from here - from here she
looks a teeny-weeny bit like Max.
1087
01:24:51,962 --> 01:24:53,919
-Maybe it�s Mr. Plunkett.
-Oh, I doubt it.
1088
01:24:54,006 --> 01:24:58,125
# Falling leaf #
1089
01:24:58,218 --> 01:25:03,133
# And fading tree #
1090
01:25:03,223 --> 01:25:04,223
# It's love...
1091
01:25:04,266 --> 01:25:06,758
-He really fell in the river?
-Feet first!
1092
01:25:27,205 --> 01:25:29,162
What�s this? What�s
going on here?
1093
01:25:29,249 --> 01:25:31,490
We have callers from China.
1094
01:25:31,585 --> 01:25:33,246
What are you doing here?
1095
01:25:33,337 --> 01:25:36,170
-Shh!
-We�re hiding from Mr. Egelbauer.
1096
01:25:36,256 --> 01:25:37,746
Shh!
1097
01:25:37,841 --> 01:25:40,333
Listen, this is no time for
jokes. I haven�t invited you.
1098
01:25:40,427 --> 01:25:42,509
I don�t want you here,
and neither does Gilda.
1099
01:25:42,596 --> 01:25:45,008
Gilda, you must come down.
Egelbauer�s on his second song.
1100
01:25:45,033 --> 01:25:47,246
-Egelbauer! Egelbauer!
-Well, what am I going to say?
1101
01:25:47,270 --> 01:25:48,371
What am I going to do?
1102
01:25:48,451 --> 01:25:49,657
One moment, Mr. Plunkett.
1103
01:25:49,936 --> 01:25:52,678
Who is
this Mr. Egelbauer?
1104
01:25:52,773 --> 01:25:55,265
You see, Mr. Egelbauer is
not only a first-rate singer...
1105
01:25:55,359 --> 01:25:57,270
but he�s also the
head of Strump and E...
1106
01:25:57,361 --> 01:26:00,319
I want you two to leave
these premises at once!
1107
01:26:00,405 --> 01:26:02,897
Well, Inspector,
what do you think?
1108
01:26:02,991 --> 01:26:04,982
Animal, vegetable or mineral?
1109
01:26:07,162 --> 01:26:08,652
Vegetable.
1110
01:26:11,541 --> 01:26:15,535
# Sky #
1111
01:26:15,629 --> 01:26:20,965
# Good-bye, summer #
1112
01:26:21,051 --> 01:26:23,292
# Good-bye #
1113
01:26:23,387 --> 01:26:26,049
# Good-bye #
1114
01:26:26,139 --> 01:26:29,131
# Good-bye #
1115
01:26:29,226 --> 01:26:31,217
Egelbauer!
1116
01:26:31,311 --> 01:26:34,269
# Good-bye #
1117
01:26:34,356 --> 01:26:38,896
# Good-bye #
1118
01:26:41,697 --> 01:26:44,485
What do you mean
by smashing into all this?
1119
01:26:44,574 --> 01:26:46,736
You arranged all this.
You were expecting 'em.
1120
01:26:46,827 --> 01:26:49,138
Don�t be silly. I arranged
nothing. I knew nothing about it.
1121
01:26:49,162 --> 01:26:51,391
-Well, how�d they get here then?
-The stork brought 'em.
1122
01:26:51,415 --> 01:26:53,747
Oh, I see. I see what
you mean. Hooligans!
1123
01:26:53,834 --> 01:26:56,104
That's what they are, and
that�s what they always will be!
1124
01:26:56,128 --> 01:26:58,586
Maybe they are. Maybe
I'm a hooligan too.
1125
01:26:58,672 --> 01:27:00,413
Maybe I want to be a hooligan.
1126
01:27:00,507 --> 01:27:03,420
No. No, Gilda, no. No, you don�t.
No. Now, we�ve got to calm down.
1127
01:27:03,510 --> 01:27:05,592
-Uh, you want a glass of water?
-No, thank you.
1128
01:27:05,679 --> 01:27:07,920
Now, I'm willing to drop the
whole matter. | forgive you.
1129
01:27:08,014 --> 01:27:09,675
Are you starting to
forgive me again?
1130
01:27:09,766 --> 01:27:12,258
Now, just relax and be a
good girl. I�ll handle this.
1131
01:27:12,352 --> 01:27:15,265
You let me go down first,
and I�ll sell them the idea that...
1132
01:27:15,355 --> 01:27:17,016
that you�ve had an
attack of hiccups.
1133
01:27:17,041 --> 01:27:19,749
And then two minutes later you come
down, and you tell Mr. Egelbauer...
1134
01:27:19,773 --> 01:27:21,548
-I�ll tell him!
-Yes. You tell Mr. Egelbauer
1135
01:27:21,572 --> 01:27:22,776
that you�re extremely sorry.
1136
01:27:22,863 --> 01:27:25,230
Make a simple little
apology, but sincere.
1137
01:27:25,323 --> 01:27:27,610
Say that you heard his
singing all the way upstairs...
1138
01:27:27,701 --> 01:27:29,487
and even at that
distance it was wonderful.
1139
01:27:29,578 --> 01:27:31,239
Now, listen,
Plunkett, Incorporated!
1140
01:27:31,329 --> 01:27:33,850
You go down to those customers
of yours and give them a sales talk.
1141
01:27:33,874 --> 01:27:35,990
Sell them anything
you want, but not me.
1142
01:27:36,084 --> 01:27:38,576
I'm fed up with underwear,
cement, linoleum!
1143
01:27:38,670 --> 01:27:41,128
I'm sick of being a
trademark married to a slogan!
1144
01:27:41,214 --> 01:27:43,296
-Gilda!
-Don�t you tell 'em I've got hiccups.
1145
01:27:43,383 --> 01:27:47,593
Tell 'em I've got the advertising
blues, the billboard collywobbles!
1146
01:27:47,679 --> 01:27:50,137
Slogans and sales talks
morning, noon and night...
1147
01:27:50,223 --> 01:27:53,807
and not one human sound out of
you and your whole flock of Egelbauers!
1148
01:27:53,894 --> 01:27:56,761
That�s just a lot of words.
There�s only one issue here.
1149
01:27:56,855 --> 01:28:00,473
If this Strump and Egelbauer deal
is spoiled, I'll know just who to blame.
1150
01:28:15,040 --> 01:28:18,249
-Where - Where is everybody?
-I think they�ve all gone home.
1151
01:28:18,335 --> 01:28:21,043
Gone home? What for? Why?
1152
01:28:21,129 --> 01:28:24,167
-You should never have socked McGuire.
-Socked McGuire?
1153
01:28:24,257 --> 01:28:28,000
I admit I was a bit careless, but how should
I know Kaplan would creep up in the back?
1154
01:28:28,094 --> 01:28:29,584
That�s partnership.
1155
01:28:29,679 --> 01:28:31,340
-Kaplan? Creep up in the back?
-Yes.
1156
01:28:31,431 --> 01:28:33,718
But the real surprise of
the evening was Egelbauer.
1157
01:28:33,809 --> 01:28:37,177
- He starts slow - - But
warms up. Wonderful footwork.
1158
01:28:37,270 --> 01:28:39,102
Wh-What - What - What happened?
1159
01:28:39,189 --> 01:28:41,396
-Was there a fight?
-A marvelous fight!
1160
01:28:41,483 --> 01:28:43,474
It was quite a demonstration.
1161
01:28:43,568 --> 01:28:45,275
Oh!
1162
01:28:48,949 --> 01:28:50,860
-Gilda!
-I know all about it.
1163
01:28:50,951 --> 01:28:53,304
I'm awfully sorry, Max, but it
all can be remedied very easily.
1164
01:28:53,328 --> 01:28:55,168
But we�ve got to do
something about it at once.
1165
01:28:55,247 --> 01:28:59,167
Quite right. But let me do it. After all, it�s my
friends who caused the trouble, and I�m to blame.
1166
01:28:59,251 --> 01:29:03,210
- Well, what do you - - Max, I'm going to
make a great sacrifice for your business.
1167
01:29:03,296 --> 01:29:04,957
I�m going to leave you.
1168
01:29:05,048 --> 01:29:07,790
Leave me? You're
crazy. That won�t help.
1169
01:29:07,884 --> 01:29:09,545
Oh, yes, it will, tremendously.
1170
01:29:09,636 --> 01:29:13,470
Now, tomorrow you put on your nicest derby
and you go and call on your customers...
1171
01:29:13,557 --> 01:29:15,284
and tell 'em you�ve
separated from your wife...
1172
01:29:15,308 --> 01:29:17,675
because of her connection
with those two terrible wretches.
1173
01:29:17,769 --> 01:29:22,229
I guarantee you, you�ll be considered the
biggest martyr in the history of cement.
1174
01:29:22,315 --> 01:29:24,147
So, I see.
1175
01:29:24,234 --> 01:29:26,350
That�s the way you
feel about the matter.
1176
01:29:26,444 --> 01:29:28,560
Good old Max. Cheer up.
1177
01:29:28,655 --> 01:29:30,566
You really haven�t
any complaints.
1178
01:29:30,657 --> 01:29:33,115
I've more than doubled your
business since our bridal night...
1179
01:29:33,201 --> 01:29:36,239
and after I leave
you, it�s liable to triple.
1180
01:29:36,329 --> 01:29:38,991
That�s all you really
wanted anyway.
1181
01:29:39,082 --> 01:29:41,915
Now, Gilda, be sensible.
1182
01:29:42,002 --> 01:29:44,744
Oh. That�s Mr. Egelbauer.
1183
01:29:47,716 --> 01:29:49,206
Hello.
1184
01:29:49,301 --> 01:29:51,292
Oh, hello, Mr. Egelbauer.
1185
01:29:51,386 --> 01:29:53,673
Oh, how are you, Mr. Egelbauer?
1186
01:29:53,763 --> 01:29:57,256
So! And poor Mrs.
Egelbauer - How is she?
1187
01:29:57,350 --> 01:29:59,341
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
1188
01:29:59,436 --> 01:30:03,395
Well, Mr. Egelbauer, you must realize that
I had nothing to do with it whatsoever.
1189
01:30:03,481 --> 01:30:05,267
Good-bye, Max.
1190
01:30:05,358 --> 01:30:08,146
Gilda, just a minute!
Y-Yes, Mr. Egelbauer?
1191
01:30:08,236 --> 01:30:10,728
Oh, I can explain everything
to your fullest satisfaction.
1192
01:30:10,822 --> 01:30:12,654
I guarantee it.
1193
01:30:12,741 --> 01:30:15,950
Oh, thank you, Mr. Egelbauer.
Oh, that�s big of you.
1194
01:30:16,036 --> 01:30:18,494
Tomorrow morning, 9:00 sharp.
1195
01:30:18,580 --> 01:30:22,494
Oh, you�ve made me a very happy
man, Mr. Egelbauer!
1196
01:30:22,584 --> 01:30:24,916
Now we�ll have some
fun. Back to Paris.
1197
01:30:25,003 --> 01:30:26,914
-To the same old studio?
-The same old dump.
1198
01:30:27,005 --> 01:30:28,461
-And work!
-Great.
1199
01:30:28,548 --> 01:30:30,664
-But you can�t paint in that suit.
-I�ll burn it.
1200
01:30:30,759 --> 01:30:33,296
-And you can�t write in that top hat.
-In the ash can with it!
1201
01:30:33,386 --> 01:30:37,345
Let�s hear, Gilda. Can
you still say �rotten�?
1202
01:30:37,432 --> 01:30:39,673
Rotten!
1203
01:30:39,768 --> 01:30:42,635
Gilda, you gonna criticize us
with that baseball bat of yours?
1204
01:30:42,729 --> 01:30:44,595
Till you say �uncle.�
1205
01:30:44,689 --> 01:30:46,350
Ha-ha! Gilda!
1206
01:30:47,734 --> 01:30:49,566
Dear critic!
1207
01:30:52,072 --> 01:30:55,485
But, boys, this is very important. There�s
one thing that has to be understood.
1208
01:30:55,575 --> 01:30:57,441
-I know.
-Yes, we know.
1209
01:30:57,535 --> 01:30:59,446
It's a gentleman�s agreement.
93584
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