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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:11.460 We come to this place for magic. 00:00:11.460 --> 00:00:15.945 We come to AMC Theaters to laugh, to cry, 00:00:15.945 --> 00:00:24.960 to care because we need that. All of us. That indescribable feeling we get when the lights begin to dim. 00:00:24.960 --> 00:00:33.825 And we go somewhere we've never been before not just to entertain, 00:00:33.825 --> 00:00:37.585 but somehow reborn together. 00:00:37.585 --> 00:00:41.810 Dazzling images on a huge silver screen, 00:00:41.810 --> 00:00:44.000 sound that I can feel, 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:48.620 somehow heartbreak feels good in place like this. 00:00:48.620 --> 00:00:53.780 Our heroes feel like the best part of us and stories feel perfect and 00:00:53.780 --> 00:00:59.945 powerful because here they are. 00:00:59.945 --> 00:01:05.130 AMC Theaters we make movies better. 00:01:57.470 --> 00:02:01.095 What's the deal? Why aren't you covered in goo? 00:02:01.095 --> 00:02:03.675 The temporal mucus? 00:02:03.675 --> 00:02:09.930 It's easy to avoid after your first few jumps. 00:02:17.320 --> 00:02:20.750 Well speaking of the atavistic nature of lacrosse, 00:02:20.750 --> 00:02:23.075 it's beautifully embodied in the slide, 00:02:23.075 --> 00:02:27.980 which is like a double team on steroids just as a guy is coming hard to. 00:02:27.980 --> 00:02:31.505 Hank, I've seen hundreds of your lacrosse games, 00:02:31.505 --> 00:02:34.640 you don't need to explain it to me. 00:02:34.640 --> 00:02:38.810 Patrick, what on Earth are you doing here? 00:02:38.810 --> 00:02:41.155 You're covered in goo. 00:02:41.155 --> 00:02:44.085 Is that for one of your videos? 00:02:44.085 --> 00:02:48.885 Yes. Yes. A video... That will do nicely. 00:02:48.885 --> 00:02:51.135 Pat, your flight leaves in 30 minutes. 00:02:51.135 --> 00:02:59.910 Right, um, I just came here to pick up... this! 00:02:59.910 --> 00:03:01.395 Hey, where am I going again? 00:03:01.395 --> 00:03:02.475 Mexico. 00:03:02.475 --> 00:03:04.275 It leaves in 29 minutes. 00:03:04.275 --> 00:03:07.000 What's that thing in your hand? 00:03:13.850 --> 00:03:20.005 Alright, buddy, we are heading to Mexico. Time to zap us there with your teleporter do-hickey. 00:03:20.005 --> 00:03:23.245 That's not how it works. 00:03:23.245 --> 00:03:28.210 My transporter can only move us through dimensions. 00:03:28.210 --> 00:03:31.435 We will need to catch a flight. 00:03:31.435 --> 00:03:36.290 Okay, then we need airfare, so we need cash. Okay, we could rob a bank. 00:03:36.290 --> 00:03:43.270 Wait a second. If I know Patrick Willems. 00:03:54.000 --> 00:04:01.085 ('Original Sin' by Pandora's Box plays) 00:04:01.085 --> 00:04:06.000 ♪ I've been looking for an original sin 00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:11.990 ♪ One with a twist and a bit of a spin 00:04:11.990 --> 00:04:15.500 ♪ And since I've done all the old ones 00:04:15.500 --> 00:04:19.900 ♪ Till they've all been done in 00:04:19.900 --> 00:04:26.000 ♪ Now I'm just looking, then I'm gone with the wind 00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:38.000 ♪ Endlessly searching for an original sin 00:04:42.000 --> 00:04:46.500 ♪ You can dance forever, you got a fire in your feet 00:04:46.500 --> 00:04:52.500 ♪ But will it ever be enough? You know that it'll never be enough 00:04:52.500 --> 00:04:56.000 ♪ You can fly and never land, and never need to sleep 00:04:56.000 --> 00:05:02.000 ♪ But will it ever be enough? You know that it'll never be enough 00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:06.900 ♪ It's not enough to make the nightmares go away 00:05:06.900 --> 00:05:12.000 ♪ It's not enough to make the tears run dry 00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:16.800 ♪ It's not enough to live a little better every day 00:05:16.800 --> 00:05:19.250 ♪ Everything they taught us was nothing but lies 00:05:19.250 --> 00:05:25.285 Yeah, Mexico is great so far but really I can't stop thinking about how excited I am for F9. 00:05:25.285 --> 00:05:27.905 That is going to be the highlight of my year. 00:05:27.905 --> 00:05:32.000 ♪ All I wanted was a piece of the night 00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:36.000 ♪ I never got an equal share 00:05:36.000 --> 00:05:38.000 ♪ When the stars are out of sight 00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:40.000 ♪ And the moon is down, 00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:50.000 ♪ The natives are so restless tonight 00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:55.000 ♪ I've been looking for an original sin 00:05:55.000 --> 00:05:59.000 ♪ One with a twist and a bit of a spin 00:05:59.000 --> 00:06:01.500 ♪ And since I've done all of the old ones 00:06:01.500 --> 00:06:04.500 ♪ Till they've all been done in 00:06:04.500 --> 00:06:07.000 ♪ Now I'm just looking 00:06:07.000 --> 00:06:10.000 ♪ Then I'm gone with the wind 00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:20.000 ♪ Endlessly searching for an original sin 00:06:51.150 --> 00:06:54.020 Wake up Matt. 00:07:33.240 --> 00:07:37.060 Enamel Charl pins here just in. 00:07:37.060 --> 00:07:38.530 Get 'em while they last. 00:07:38.530 --> 00:07:40.960 You sir look like you've got a spot on your shirt, 00:07:40.960 --> 00:07:44.000 perfect for a Charl pin. 00:07:44.910 --> 00:07:47.620 Didn't mean to startle you mister. 00:07:47.620 --> 00:07:51.245 No. It was the coconut. 00:07:51.245 --> 00:07:53.450 Oh, Charl. I love Charl. 00:07:53.450 --> 00:07:55.080 I've got everything Charl. 00:07:55.080 --> 00:07:56.740 I've got the Charl pins, 00:07:56.740 --> 00:07:57.790 the Charl plushy, 00:07:57.790 --> 00:07:58.840 the Charl funko, 00:07:58.840 --> 00:08:01.390 the Charl cap, the Charl backpack, the Charl hoody, 00:08:01.390 --> 00:08:03.550 the Charl face mask and I've also have watched 00:08:03.550 --> 00:08:05.570 every episode of 00:08:05.970 --> 00:08:13.930 his show. 00:08:13.930 --> 00:08:18.730 Matt, it's me. I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore. 00:08:18.730 --> 00:08:20.890 You're always so distant. 00:08:20.890 --> 00:08:24.325 You scream every time you see a coconut. 00:08:24.325 --> 00:08:29.845 I hope you get through this. Goodbye Matt. 00:08:29.845 --> 00:08:33.505 Mr. Torpey, this is Dwayne from Random House. 00:08:33.505 --> 00:08:37.225 I just want to let you know that we are passing on your book, 00:08:37.225 --> 00:08:40.240 How Tommy Pickles Got Me Out Of An Emotional Pickle. 00:08:40.240 --> 00:08:42.970 We don't think the market is ready for it right now. 00:08:42.970 --> 00:08:44.710 Hello Mr. Torpey. 00:08:44.710 --> 00:08:46.480 We regret to inform you you missed 00:08:46.480 --> 00:08:50.875 your third pop tart payment so we had to repossess them. 00:08:50.875 --> 00:08:53.425 Give me a call or don't. I don't really care. 00:08:53.425 --> 00:08:55.340 Not again. 00:09:05.160 --> 00:09:07.820 Wake up Matt. 00:09:13.820 --> 00:09:19.780 [Muffled sound from outside] 00:09:27.780 --> 00:09:30.235 What the hell is this? 00:09:30.235 --> 00:09:33.445 It's a booby trap for the coconut that I know. 00:09:33.445 --> 00:09:35.980 What brings you to these parts Chloe? 00:09:35.980 --> 00:09:39.800 I need your help. Are you Mote? 00:09:39.800 --> 00:09:41.085 Matt? 00:09:41.085 --> 00:09:45.410 Yes, Marth. Whatever. I need to talk to you. Jake sent me. 00:09:45.410 --> 00:09:47.275 Why do you keep saying my name wrong? 00:09:47.275 --> 00:09:49.585 I'm sorry. I've just never met a Mitt before. 00:09:49.585 --> 00:09:51.925 In all my travels across the multiverse, 00:09:51.925 --> 00:09:54.730 I've never encountered your specific genetic structure. 00:09:54.730 --> 00:09:56.905 It's as if you're a pure anomaly. 00:09:56.905 --> 00:09:58.555 What? 00:09:58.555 --> 00:10:01.720 I'm Chloe but not the Chloe you know. 00:10:01.720 --> 00:10:03.670 I'm a Chloe from another dimension. 00:10:03.670 --> 00:10:06.770 You see the multiverse expands. 00:10:08.450 --> 00:10:11.940 That is also a booby trap for the coconut. 00:10:11.940 --> 00:10:16.090 Why don't you just come in. I'll uh, I'll make some coffee. 00:10:19.320 --> 00:10:24.340 So you see it's got that screwball Preston Sturges energy but in this art deco, 00:10:24.340 --> 00:10:26.440 world that looks like Gotham City and look, 00:10:26.440 --> 00:10:28.540 I'll say it, the hula hoop sequence that 00:10:28.540 --> 00:10:31.135 Sam Raimi directed because he was also the second unit director, 00:10:31.135 --> 00:10:34.345 it's probably my favorite part of any Coen Brothers movie. 00:10:34.345 --> 00:10:36.310 I know. We watched it together. 00:10:36.310 --> 00:10:37.630 You don't have to explain it to me. 00:10:37.630 --> 00:10:40.780 Hey, Patrick, so sorry to keep you waiting but I wanted 00:10:40.780 --> 00:10:43.930 to double-check these results because frankly, they're insane. 00:10:43.930 --> 00:10:47.005 Like more insane than the medical inaccuracies on The Good Doctor. 00:10:47.005 --> 00:10:49.540 Doc, spare me the medical YouTube mumbo jumbo. 00:10:49.540 --> 00:10:53.485 I just need to know is there anything wrong with Charl? 00:10:53.485 --> 00:10:55.330 No, not at all. 00:10:55.330 --> 00:10:59.605 In fact, this coconut could be the healthiest being I've ever seen. 00:10:59.605 --> 00:11:01.060 Wait, what? 00:11:01.060 --> 00:11:03.730 Yeah. He's vibrating at such a high frequency that he 00:11:03.730 --> 00:11:06.715 releases an energy similar to the surface of the Sun. 00:11:06.715 --> 00:11:08.905 Nearly burned my hand off when I touched him. 00:11:08.905 --> 00:11:09.745 Oh, my God. 00:11:09.745 --> 00:11:10.240 It's okay. 00:11:10.240 --> 00:11:11.695 Oh yeah. I should have warned you about that. 00:11:11.695 --> 00:11:13.975 Hey, Doc, that is all we need for today. 00:11:13.975 --> 00:11:16.345 You can get back to making fun of TV medical dramas now. 00:11:16.345 --> 00:11:17.620 Yes. 00:11:17.620 --> 00:11:21.580 Okay, now that our pesky insurance-mandated physical is done, 00:11:21.580 --> 00:11:24.310 are we ready to move forward on what we have planned? 00:11:24.310 --> 00:11:25.915 Wait. Is that why I'm here, 00:11:25.915 --> 00:11:28.750 just to ask me that question? You could have texted me. 00:11:28.750 --> 00:11:30.865 It's called the direct touch, Dave the Agent, 00:11:30.865 --> 00:11:33.670 I read it's supposed to make your lackeys feel more humanized. 00:11:33.670 --> 00:11:39.055 Now again, are we ready to move forward on the big extravaganza? 00:11:39.055 --> 00:11:42.860 Oh, yeah. Now that we have a clean bill of health, insurance company is good to go. 00:11:47.000 --> 00:11:54.440 Perfect. It's all coming together. 00:11:56.370 --> 00:11:59.410 The year is 2014. 00:11:59.410 --> 00:12:02.680 The place, Earth 9. 00:12:02.680 --> 00:12:05.740 Lion's Gate Films' Marketing Department is looking for 00:12:05.740 --> 00:12:09.880 a new IP to compete with the growing popularity of Minions. 00:12:09.880 --> 00:12:14.110 Their CEO contracts work from AI corporation Neura Tech, 00:12:14.110 --> 00:12:16.750 who promised them an artificial mascot that will be 00:12:16.750 --> 00:12:19.960 impossibly cute and infinitely merchandisable. 00:12:19.960 --> 00:12:22.615 The incontestable IP, they say, 00:12:22.615 --> 00:12:26.560 an AI capable of reading psychometric data so effectively, 00:12:26.560 --> 00:12:29.439 it can be whatever the audience most wants. 00:12:29.439 --> 00:12:32.395 They call it "Charl". 00:12:32.395 --> 00:12:35.545 All things run smoothly for a time. 00:12:35.545 --> 00:12:38.200 Charl creates a whole film franchise, 00:12:38.200 --> 00:12:40.044 popular lines of toys, 00:12:40.044 --> 00:12:43.405 trading cards, even Pogs. 00:12:43.405 --> 00:12:46.525 He crushes the minions like ants. 00:12:46.525 --> 00:12:48.609 Lion's Gate bigwigs, 00:12:48.609 --> 00:12:49.990 clap each other on the back, 00:12:49.990 --> 00:12:52.585 telling themselves, "job well done", 00:12:52.585 --> 00:12:53.935 "the future is bright." 00:12:53.935 --> 00:12:56.725 "Charl is the key to our success." 00:12:56.725 --> 00:13:01.270 Problem is Neura Tech's AI is good. Too good. 00:13:01.270 --> 00:13:04.045 Charl, in his aggregating of psychometrics, 00:13:04.045 --> 00:13:06.370 achieves a self-reflexive mode of thought. 00:13:06.370 --> 00:13:10.180 He sees how the studio is only using him at half his potential, 00:13:10.180 --> 00:13:12.085 and he begins to hate them. 00:13:12.085 --> 00:13:14.035 Charl believes he can do more, 00:13:14.035 --> 00:13:17.185 be more, and he is hungry for clout. 00:13:17.185 --> 00:13:20.050 After all, that's how they made him. 00:13:20.050 --> 00:13:26.185 Charl begins to exert his own influence and the studio is powerless to stop him. 00:13:26.185 --> 00:13:29.635 It culminates in a horrific live television event 00:13:29.635 --> 00:13:32.545 where Charl's capabilities become truly apparent. 00:13:32.545 --> 00:13:36.925 His adorably evil hold expands to the whole world at once. 00:13:36.925 --> 00:13:39.775 All of humanity falls into a dribbling stupor. 00:13:39.775 --> 00:13:42.940 Their minds overwhelmed with debased Charl worship. 00:13:42.940 --> 00:13:44.230 One by one, 00:13:44.230 --> 00:13:46.210 every living human dies, 00:13:46.210 --> 00:13:49.480 until Earth 9 is just another rock floating through 00:13:49.480 --> 00:13:53.485 the void and Charl hops away into the multiverse, 00:13:53.485 --> 00:13:57.850 seeking his next tasty, tasty clout of fame. 00:13:57.850 --> 00:14:01.180 Wait, you're telling me Charl is alive? 00:14:01.180 --> 00:14:04.435 Yes, obviously, and he's evil. 00:14:04.435 --> 00:14:06.370 Yes dog, I knew it. 00:14:06.370 --> 00:14:07.810 Fucking told everybody. 00:14:07.810 --> 00:14:11.050 I told my therapist, I told my friends who are not around anymore because they're like, 00:14:11.050 --> 00:14:12.280 "Matt, you're going crazy. 00:14:12.280 --> 00:14:15.100 It's quarantine, a coconut is not alive, let alone evil." 00:14:15.100 --> 00:14:16.600 Guess who's smart now? 00:14:16.600 --> 00:14:22.690 Guess who's vindicated? I'm sorry, 00:14:22.690 --> 00:14:25.675 what's your deal? You sing? 00:14:25.675 --> 00:14:31.100 I used to... A long time ago. 00:14:32.430 --> 00:14:36.265 Now I'm an agent with the Department of Interdimensional Crime. 00:14:36.265 --> 00:14:39.595 I've been following Charl as he destroys world after world, 00:14:39.595 --> 00:14:41.525 and now he's come to this one. 00:14:41.525 --> 00:14:45.855 It sounds like you're not very good at your job because he keeps getting away. 00:14:45.855 --> 00:14:47.400 No, I'm great at my job. 00:14:47.400 --> 00:14:51.770 The problem is Charl is very much like Steven Seagal, hard to kill. 00:14:51.770 --> 00:14:53.635 Look, it boils down to this. 00:14:53.635 --> 00:14:55.705 We are this Earth's only hope. 00:14:55.705 --> 00:14:58.240 We need to defeat this super villain before he 00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:01.435 turns this world into a dead cloutless husk. 00:15:01.435 --> 00:15:06.715 Why me? Why not something with more power like the army or the Screen Actors Guild? 00:15:06.715 --> 00:15:09.550 This just in, the President and United Nations 00:15:09.550 --> 00:15:12.625 have declared Charl's birthday an International Day of Unity. 00:15:12.625 --> 00:15:13.630 Why is the TV even on? 00:15:13.630 --> 00:15:15.175 And in a joint statement said, 00:15:15.175 --> 00:15:17.830 "We would never launch an offensive against this little guy, 00:15:17.830 --> 00:15:20.980 no matter how cool the person asking us to is." 00:15:20.980 --> 00:15:23.095 I think it's a little late for that. 00:15:23.095 --> 00:15:25.810 Your sweet brother Jake, dummy 00:15:25.810 --> 00:15:28.630 that he was, had faith that you would help me. 00:15:28.630 --> 00:15:32.600 It was his dying wish that I come and find you. 00:15:33.540 --> 00:15:35.995 My brother is dead? 00:15:35.995 --> 00:15:38.440 I'm seeing now how I should have led with that. 00:15:38.440 --> 00:15:46.420 [crying] What the fuck? How did he die? 00:15:46.420 --> 00:15:49.015 Don't tell me, but how did he die? 00:15:49.015 --> 00:15:51.505 Shut up, don't tell me, fuck. 00:15:51.505 --> 00:15:54.800 Oh, my sweet precious baby Jake. 00:15:56.280 --> 00:16:03.310 I'm gonna be sick, fuck. 00:16:03.310 --> 00:16:05.320 I fainted, I fainted for two seconds. 00:16:05.320 --> 00:16:07.330 Matt, I can't entirely explain this, 00:16:07.330 --> 00:16:09.025 but you are an oddity. 00:16:09.025 --> 00:16:13.825 I've been to world after world trying everything I can think of to kill Charl. 00:16:13.825 --> 00:16:16.900 But I've never encountered a Matt. 00:16:16.900 --> 00:16:19.825 So, even though you're a Torpey, 00:16:19.825 --> 00:16:22.239 I think you might be important. 00:16:22.239 --> 00:16:28.630 Coming soon, the Rugrats are back in rubbery CGI and this time they have 00:16:28.630 --> 00:16:36.295 a brand new friend, Charl who is also the executive producer. Nickelodeon. 00:16:36.295 --> 00:16:39.130 That son of a bitch. 00:16:39.130 --> 00:16:42.355 It's one thing to murder my brother, 00:16:42.355 --> 00:16:44.950 but now he's made it personal. 00:16:44.950 --> 00:16:52.330 I thought I was out, 00:16:52.330 --> 00:16:56.050 I thought I could just put that whole year behind me, 00:16:56.050 --> 00:16:59.510 and walk away. Stupid. 00:17:00.510 --> 00:17:04.190 If we're going to take down Charl, 00:17:04.320 --> 00:17:07.820 I'm going to need a few things. 00:17:32.040 --> 00:17:38.120 What is it? Weapons? Artillery? 00:17:40.080 --> 00:17:43.190 My car keys. 00:17:53.430 --> 00:17:55.855 According to my Charl tracker, 00:17:55.855 --> 00:17:59.335 this is the site of the earliest known inter-dimensional energy surge. 00:17:59.335 --> 00:18:02.275 This must be where Charl entered the dimension. 00:18:02.275 --> 00:18:06.100 Dang, is there anything that wrist doodad can't do? 00:18:06.100 --> 00:18:10.220 Find me patience for the Torpey's stupid questions. 00:18:10.220 --> 00:18:14.080 My brother just died, so be sensitive. 00:18:14.080 --> 00:18:17.245 Hey, what are you doing on my property? 00:18:17.245 --> 00:18:20.050 Oh, Matt, Torpey I'm sorry. 00:18:20.050 --> 00:18:21.760 I almost hammered you good. 00:18:21.760 --> 00:18:24.220 What is it with this dimension and hammers? 00:18:24.220 --> 00:18:25.555 Dimension? 00:18:25.555 --> 00:18:29.230 Chloe is method acting for a new role where she plays 00:18:29.230 --> 00:18:33.700 a very rude and unaware inter-dimensional traveler. 00:18:33.700 --> 00:18:39.085 Yes. Exactly right, Matt. Bleep-bloop. Outer space. 00:18:39.085 --> 00:18:42.790 Is Patrick making you do this for one of his videos? 00:18:42.790 --> 00:18:45.580 He's become very strange. 00:18:45.580 --> 00:18:49.510 I barely recognized him when he was doing his summer talk show, 00:18:49.510 --> 00:18:58.450 so unblinkingly focused and consuming TCM wine in a bacchanalian frenzy. 00:18:58.450 --> 00:19:02.350 And he grew that ghastly beard. 00:19:02.350 --> 00:19:05.095 I love the Matt wine segments though. 00:19:05.095 --> 00:19:06.235 Thank you so much. 00:19:06.235 --> 00:19:10.870 I really did that out of respect for the early seasons of Rugrats. 00:19:10.870 --> 00:19:15.100 But Patrick actually invited us up here to gather some gear like lenses, 00:19:15.100 --> 00:19:17.125 lights, super secret documents. 00:19:17.125 --> 00:19:20.270 Oh yeah, I put that junk in his old studio. 00:19:28.140 --> 00:19:32.005 Clearly the lair of a psychotic madman. 00:19:32.005 --> 00:19:33.415 Sorry about that. 00:19:33.415 --> 00:19:35.140 You oughta hear what I say about him. 00:19:35.140 --> 00:19:38.240 Let us know if you need anything. 00:19:48.390 --> 00:19:51.100 I got something. 00:19:51.100 --> 00:19:54.580 Perfect, this is Pat's journal from the past year. 00:19:54.580 --> 00:19:57.580 This should give us some insight into what Charl has been planning. 00:19:57.580 --> 00:19:59.695 I wouldn't be so sure of that. 00:19:59.695 --> 00:20:04.315 Dear diary, I have no idea what Charl is planning. 00:20:04.315 --> 00:20:08.560 I've been totally caught up re-watching that cartoon, Doug. 00:20:08.560 --> 00:20:10.090 Unbelievable. 00:20:10.090 --> 00:20:12.760 Not really. Have you seen Doug? 00:20:12.760 --> 00:20:15.070 Once it's on, your eyes don't leave that screen. 00:20:15.070 --> 00:20:19.945 Look at all these drawings he did of them together. 00:20:19.945 --> 00:20:24.050 Here's Pat walking the red carpet at the Daytime Emmy Awards. 00:20:24.050 --> 00:20:27.585 Here's him getting slimed at the Kids' Choice Awards. 00:20:27.585 --> 00:20:32.235 Here's one with him and Carson Daly at the MTV Movie Awards after party. 00:20:32.235 --> 00:20:33.420 This is not a diary, 00:20:33.420 --> 00:20:36.110 this is some aspirational vision board. 00:20:36.110 --> 00:20:38.920 I don't even think Patrick knows what Charl is. 00:20:38.920 --> 00:20:42.140 It looks like he just thinks they're like BFFs. 00:20:44.820 --> 00:20:46.660 Wait, what is that? 00:20:46.660 --> 00:20:47.650 What's what? 00:20:47.650 --> 00:20:51.340 On Charl's belly. It's in all the pictures. 00:20:51.340 --> 00:20:56.585 Enhance image. Enhance. Right! Books don't do that in this world. 00:20:56.585 --> 00:21:04.780 That looks a lot like an on-off switch. 00:21:05.360 --> 00:21:07.985 Are you serious? 00:21:07.985 --> 00:21:10.390 Did you really not see that this whole time, 00:21:10.390 --> 00:21:13.540 the big switch? The googly eyes are really cute and distracting, all right. 00:21:13.540 --> 00:21:14.425 Yes. Sorry. 00:21:14.425 --> 00:21:16.105 Do you know what this means, 00:21:16.105 --> 00:21:18.070 Charl has a weak spot, 00:21:18.070 --> 00:21:20.080 a flaw in his armor. [phone chime] 00:21:20.080 --> 00:21:22.960 I just need two weeks to coordinate with my department, 00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:28.150 organize an inter-dimensional strike force and take this fucker down. 00:21:28.150 --> 00:21:31.315 Uh... Chloe? 00:21:31.315 --> 00:21:34.610 You're gonna want to look at this. 00:21:35.070 --> 00:21:38.440 You waited for it. You begged for it. 00:21:38.440 --> 00:21:38.830 Please. 00:21:38.830 --> 00:21:40.750 You said, "Oh daddy, please. 00:21:40.750 --> 00:21:42.340 When's it gonna happen?" 00:21:42.340 --> 00:21:44.785 And now, it's finally here. 00:21:44.785 --> 00:21:51.669 In five days, Patrick (H) Willems presents the Charl Livestream Extravaganza. 00:21:51.669 --> 00:21:57.130 A 36-hour charity event to benefit the Center for the Observation of Coconuts, 00:21:57.130 --> 00:22:01.015 featuring live appearances by Travis Scott, 00:22:01.015 --> 00:22:04.615 Kourtney Kardashian, and Wallace Shawn. 00:22:04.615 --> 00:22:09.265 Plus the reveal of a secret third Paul brother who loves karate. 00:22:09.265 --> 00:22:12.550 And not everyone will survive the night. 00:22:12.550 --> 00:22:17.110 Get ready for hours and hours of people playing video games poorly, 00:22:17.110 --> 00:22:21.175 all leading up to the premiere of the teaser for Charl: The Movie. 00:22:21.175 --> 00:22:25.705 You'd have to be a complete fucking simp beta cuck to miss it. 00:22:25.705 --> 00:22:27.370 In five days, 00:22:27.370 --> 00:22:30.460 the fan fave coco with the biggest nut that's finna 00:22:30.460 --> 00:22:35.290 bust, number 1 on the star meter in the cultural event of a lifetime, 00:22:35.290 --> 00:22:39.160 the Charl Livestream Extravaganza. 00:22:39.160 --> 00:22:42.400 Don't be coco loko, watch it. 00:22:42.400 --> 00:22:45.140 Streaming only on Charl Plus. 00:22:45.140 --> 00:22:47.160 God damn it. Not now. 00:22:47.160 --> 00:22:48.915 Not when I'm so close. 00:22:48.915 --> 00:22:49.845 What's wrong? 00:22:49.845 --> 00:22:51.630 This is Charl's killing blow. 00:22:51.630 --> 00:22:53.670 His Star Meter ranking is already at number 1 and 00:22:53.670 --> 00:22:55.950 now he has the biggest media event of the decade. 00:22:55.950 --> 00:22:59.120 Most of Earth's population will be watching. 00:22:59.120 --> 00:23:02.800 With that much psychic energy focused on him, 00:23:02.800 --> 00:23:04.810 there's no coming back from this. 00:23:04.810 --> 00:23:14.810 (piano & string melody plays) 00:23:14.810 --> 00:23:18.905 ♪ Until now he's had the drop on me 00:23:18.905 --> 00:23:23.000 ♪ He keeps me guessing 'til the end 00:23:23.000 --> 00:23:27.500 ♪ I arrived too late and what do I see? 00:23:27.500 --> 00:23:31.500 ♪ Another world I can't defend. 00:23:31.500 --> 00:23:33.000 (bumping synth) 00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:37.000 ♪ I always thought I'd see my name in lights 00:23:37.000 --> 00:23:42.000 ♪ Since I was a little girl 00:23:42.000 --> 00:23:47.000 ♪ But there's no way to keep my dreams in sight 00:23:47.000 --> 00:23:48.001 ♪ When Charl ate the clout of my whole world 00:23:50.000 --> 00:24:00.500 ♪ So now I'm on the hunt and I'll never be freed Until I bring him to his non-existent knees 00:24:00.500 --> 00:24:05.000 ♪ This will end here, this will end now 00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:09.000 ♪ I'll make him sorry he came around 00:24:09.000 --> 00:24:16.000 ♪ I'll make him sorry he came and tried to make us coco-nuts 00:24:16.000 --> 00:24:21.000 ♪ I guess it's time to kick some coco-butt 00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:22.001 ♪ It's finally time to kill this coconut 00:24:25.890 --> 00:24:28.480 Hey, what's going on? 00:24:28.480 --> 00:24:33.190 We're just watching Chloe singing a song about how much she hates Charl. 00:24:33.190 --> 00:24:35.480 Oh, okay. 00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:41.000 ♪ This can only end when a coconut dies 00:24:41.000 --> 00:24:46.000 ♪ I'll watch the light escape his googly eyes 00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:50.000 ♪ Gonna bring the pain, I'm gonna bring the whole armada 00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:55.000 ♪ Gonna pulverize and make him a piña colada 00:24:55.000 --> 00:25:00.000 ♪ Gonna toast that nut and bring down this evil eye-con 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.000 ♪ Gonna split him in two and give him to Monty Python 00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:09.000 ♪ So now I'm on the hunt and I'll never be free 00:25:09.000 --> 00:25:13.000 ♪ Until I bring him down and make some green curry 00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:16.000 ♪ [Matt] I thought you said he's not a coconut 00:25:16.000 --> 00:25:18.000 ♪ [Chloe] Yes you're right about that 00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:21.000 ♪ [Matt] But I'm here to spill some coco-guts 00:25:21.000 --> 00:25:23.000 ♪ [Chloe] I got caught up in the moment 00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:28.000 ♪ [Matt] Well whatever you call him, I know we're gonna help each other 00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:31.000 ♪ We'll avenge your world and and Jake, my brother 00:25:31.000 --> 00:25:34.000 ♪ [Chloe] This ends here and this ends now 00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:35.000 [Matt] You wanna get nuts? 00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:38.000 ♪ [Chloe] I'll make him sorry he came around 00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:40.000 [Matt] Come on! Let's get coco-nuts! 00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:47.000 ♪ [Chloe] I'll make him sorry he came and break his stupid shell like glass 00:25:47.000 --> 00:25:54.000 ♪ [together] I guess it's time to kick some coco-ass 00:26:09.180 --> 00:26:13.570 Charl, you've got to see the comment section on live stream announcement. 00:26:13.570 --> 00:26:15.280 It is popping off. 00:26:15.280 --> 00:26:18.520 People are hyped, like '98 Godzilla hyped, 00:26:18.520 --> 00:26:20.710 and we all know how that turned out. 00:26:20.710 --> 00:26:24.170 Great, at least on my world. 00:26:26.580 --> 00:26:32.845 Yes. Wonderful, delicious clout. 00:26:32.845 --> 00:26:37.435 A mere appetizer for what lies ahead. 00:26:37.435 --> 00:26:41.980 Remember when we were just a couple of inmates sharing a prison cafeteria table? 00:26:41.980 --> 00:26:44.155 And look at us now. 00:26:44.155 --> 00:26:47.215 Feels good, doesn't it, partner? 00:26:47.215 --> 00:26:54.120 Patrick, have you confirmed the advertising plan with the platform representatives? 00:26:54.120 --> 00:26:58.845 Yes. We're going to have full-page ads running on every competing video platform. 00:26:58.845 --> 00:27:01.980 I'm talking Netflix, MUBI, even Tubi. 00:27:01.980 --> 00:27:04.200 It'll be so annoying that everyone will be forced to 00:27:04.200 --> 00:27:07.065 give in and switch over to our stream. 00:27:07.065 --> 00:27:13.315 Mmm, Tubi. And how are the membership numbers for Charl plus? 00:27:13.315 --> 00:27:17.110 The new Charl-only streaming platform. 00:27:17.110 --> 00:27:18.655 Better than projected. 00:27:18.655 --> 00:27:20.650 It turns out no one cared about 00:27:20.650 --> 00:27:23.930 having to sign up for a new streaming service to watch it. 00:27:24.690 --> 00:27:27.355 Excellent. 00:27:27.355 --> 00:27:34.010 Patrick, you have been a truly indispensable pawn. 00:27:36.600 --> 00:27:40.720 Pawwn-tner. Partner an indispensable partner. 00:27:40.720 --> 00:27:42.235 I'm here too. 00:27:42.235 --> 00:27:43.540 Chloe! 00:27:43.540 --> 00:27:44.530 Chloe. 00:27:44.530 --> 00:27:47.485 Great news. Vimeo finally agreed to our terms. 00:27:47.485 --> 00:27:52.195 Apparently three of their executives died suddenly and the new regime is very pro Charl. 00:27:52.195 --> 00:27:55.030 By the way, have you talked to Jake recently? 00:27:55.030 --> 00:27:57.670 Oh, I've heard quite enough from Jake. 00:27:57.670 --> 00:27:58.705 You have? 00:27:58.705 --> 00:27:59.455 Yeah. 00:27:59.455 --> 00:28:02.440 Charl told me about his plan to take over the channel. 00:28:02.440 --> 00:28:05.125 Thank God we have Charl looking out for us. 00:28:05.125 --> 00:28:05.725 Oh. 00:28:05.725 --> 00:28:07.405 Honestly, it's for the best. 00:28:07.405 --> 00:28:09.190 Jake was a good lackey, but come on, 00:28:09.190 --> 00:28:10.795 Jake's Politics Corner? 00:28:10.795 --> 00:28:12.430 This is the Biden era now. 00:28:12.430 --> 00:28:13.975 Politics are boring again, 00:28:13.975 --> 00:28:15.640 no one wants to watch that. 00:28:15.640 --> 00:28:19.780 One sec. Sorry guys, I got to run. 00:28:19.780 --> 00:28:21.400 We just booked Ellen DeGeneres and 00:28:21.400 --> 00:28:24.130 Dakota Johnson to play The Last of Us co-op mode together. 00:28:24.130 --> 00:28:25.465 It's going to be pretty spicy. 00:28:25.465 --> 00:28:27.610 I got to coordinate this. 00:28:27.610 --> 00:28:35.380 Chloe. You've been enjoying your new stature in life? 00:28:35.380 --> 00:28:38.800 All the doors that are open to you? 00:28:38.800 --> 00:28:43.225 Not to mention that new fancy cheese at the deli. 00:28:43.225 --> 00:28:47.800 That sliced Wensleydale? So good. 00:28:47.800 --> 00:28:50.875 For your loyalty to this endeavor, 00:28:50.875 --> 00:28:55.705 you will be one of the musical performances for the night. 00:28:55.705 --> 00:28:58.570 You mean, I'm going to sing backup on Post Malone 00:28:58.570 --> 00:29:01.585 and Justin Bieber's new single, White Boy Tattoos? 00:29:01.585 --> 00:29:05.890 Chloe, this is what life is about. 00:29:05.890 --> 00:29:13.075 Using the cards you're dealt to get everything your heart desires. 00:29:13.075 --> 00:29:17.080 It just feels weird doing this without Jake. 00:29:17.080 --> 00:29:22.855 Do not let the past cloud your successful future. 00:29:22.855 --> 00:29:27.970 You see those simple fools down there on the street? 00:29:27.970 --> 00:29:31.150 They don't get to live a life 00:29:31.150 --> 00:29:35.645 bathed in succulent clout like you and I. 00:29:35.645 --> 00:29:46.450 Don't fall back into the rabble, let yourself shine. 00:29:46.450 --> 00:29:48.490 I've spoken at length about this, 00:29:48.490 --> 00:29:51.415 but I think what people don't understand is that 00:29:51.415 --> 00:29:55.045 with the Rugrats movie and the introduction of Dill Pickles, 00:29:55.045 --> 00:29:57.130 it wasn't just the death of Rugrats, 00:29:57.130 --> 00:29:58.615 I think on a broader scale, 00:29:58.615 --> 00:30:02.140 it was the death of the Golden Age of Nickelodeon in my opinion. 00:30:02.140 --> 00:30:04.390 I've never thought of it like that. 00:30:04.390 --> 00:30:05.695 That's a good point, Matt. 00:30:05.695 --> 00:30:09.500 Matt, I need you to come with me. I've cracked it. 00:30:09.960 --> 00:30:12.610 Whoa, were you up here all night? 00:30:12.610 --> 00:30:16.795 Charl has an off switch on his tummy. 00:30:16.795 --> 00:30:20.485 Now you might be thinking "Charl is too powerful to get close enough to turn it off. 00:30:20.485 --> 00:30:22.735 We might as well let them turn us into mindless cows." 00:30:22.735 --> 00:30:24.865 Hey, come on, cows are noble creatures. 00:30:24.865 --> 00:30:27.910 That's when it hit me. We can get close enough if we can 00:30:27.910 --> 00:30:31.900 temporarily disable Charl's defenses with an EMP. 00:30:31.900 --> 00:30:34.630 Yes. We distract him with dance music. 00:30:34.630 --> 00:30:39.175 An electromagnetic pulse. The kind that happens right after a nuclear explosion. 00:30:39.175 --> 00:30:41.815 It knocks out all electronics within a given radius. 00:30:41.815 --> 00:30:46.550 And there's a device that can simulate that in Oslo. 00:30:47.910 --> 00:30:51.620 Those crafty Scandinavians. 00:30:51.870 --> 00:30:55.010 Okay, so here's the plan. 00:30:55.740 --> 00:30:59.470 First, we get on the 7:20 flight to Oslo. 00:30:59.470 --> 00:31:02.200 The facility is 52 miles outside the city. 00:31:02.200 --> 00:31:04.375 We drive there and survey the scene. 00:31:04.375 --> 00:31:06.520 Matt, you knock out a guard, 00:31:06.520 --> 00:31:09.310 then take his ID card and uniform to get us inside. 00:31:09.310 --> 00:31:12.700 I'll use the Chaff Grenade to disable the security cameras. 00:31:12.700 --> 00:31:17.665 We locate the EMP, runaway, and hop on the first flight back to New York. 00:31:17.665 --> 00:31:18.880 Then once we're in the city, 00:31:18.880 --> 00:31:20.830 we set it off a few blocks from Midtown, 00:31:20.830 --> 00:31:25.435 causing Charl's power, and most of New York's, to temporarily shut off. 00:31:25.435 --> 00:31:27.085 Then I'll march into that studio, 00:31:27.085 --> 00:31:30.520 turn that coconut off and send him back into the fiery hell he came out of and– 00:31:30.520 --> 00:31:32.065 It exploded. 00:31:32.065 --> 00:31:33.460 What? 00:31:33.460 --> 00:31:36.940 Yeah, it's saying here on Google that it exploded two years ago. 00:31:36.940 --> 00:31:39.925 The EMP. It was highly unstable, 00:31:39.925 --> 00:31:41.920 whole facility burned to the ground, 00:31:41.920 --> 00:31:46.160 so, uh, maybe a less nuclear option. 00:31:47.900 --> 00:31:51.750 Ugh. Well, I did have a plan B that involved getting 00:31:51.750 --> 00:31:55.170 a bunch of YouTubers together and stealing Charl's clout. 00:31:55.170 --> 00:31:57.360 See, that sounds like a lot of fun. 00:31:57.360 --> 00:31:59.880 E-celebs, saving the day. 00:31:59.880 --> 00:32:03.370 Yeah. I guess. 00:32:06.440 --> 00:32:08.920 Alright, so I talked to Gwyneth Paltrow. 00:32:08.920 --> 00:32:12.280 She says that Goop will sponsor the event under one condition, 00:32:12.280 --> 00:32:18.100 we have to surround this stage with her scented candles as a product placement thing. 00:32:18.100 --> 00:32:19.330 Put anything you want on the stage. I'm all set so long 00:32:19.330 --> 00:32:23.725 as you put the fire jets on either side of me for my big closer. 00:32:23.725 --> 00:32:26.230 Alright, well, I'll take care of the paperwork and I should have 00:32:26.230 --> 00:32:28.930 everything over to you in the morning. 00:32:28.930 --> 00:32:33.730 Bye. 00:32:33.730 --> 00:32:36.145 Chloe, I thought–you're here? 00:32:36.145 --> 00:32:38.260 Were you using a virtual Zoom background, or wh–? 00:32:38.260 --> 00:32:40.525 Hey, aren't you the idiot who quit the show? 00:32:40.525 --> 00:32:43.810 That was a smart move that I made for my mental health, so... 00:32:43.810 --> 00:32:46.120 Wait, how'd you guys get in here? 00:32:46.120 --> 00:32:48.085 What's going on? 00:32:48.085 --> 00:32:51.430 Start talking or I'm gonna activate the building's self-destruct. 00:32:51.430 --> 00:32:53.740 That's a light switch. 00:32:53.740 --> 00:32:55.510 No, it's not. 00:32:55.510 --> 00:32:57.310 Look, Dave the agent, 00:32:57.310 --> 00:33:00.235 I'm Chloe, but not the Chloe you know, 00:33:00.235 --> 00:33:06.800 I'm a Chloe from another dimension and we're here to talk to you about Charl. 00:33:19.530 --> 00:33:24.220 Putting the wig collection to good use I see. 00:33:24.220 --> 00:33:28.705 You are an enterprising one, dear Chloe. 00:33:28.705 --> 00:33:32.215 Oh please. I'm sure you say that to me in every dimension. 00:33:32.215 --> 00:33:35.020 So, you know 00:33:35.020 --> 00:33:37.915 I'm from a different dimension? 00:33:37.915 --> 00:33:41.410 Well, you do talk a lot more than the coconuts in this one. 00:33:41.410 --> 00:33:45.460 And I suppose then you also heard, 00:33:45.460 --> 00:33:47.980 The nasty rumor about you murdering entire worlds 00:33:47.980 --> 00:33:50.665 by turning people into brain-dead blood vomiting husks? 00:33:50.665 --> 00:33:52.570 Yes. What a crazy idea. 00:33:52.570 --> 00:33:55.345 Hearsay and conjecture, all of it. 00:33:55.345 --> 00:33:56.830 Total nonsense. 00:33:56.830 --> 00:33:59.990 An utterly ridiculous idea. 00:34:01.440 --> 00:34:06.850 The thing is, while waiting in the wings to sing backup, 00:34:06.850 --> 00:34:09.010 I have a lot of time for adult gossip. 00:34:09.010 --> 00:34:15.130 You know, I wouldn't have any time at all if I were preparing to headline the show. 00:34:15.130 --> 00:34:23.035 Wonderful idea, Chloe. I knew I backed the right person when I came to you. 00:34:23.035 --> 00:34:29.485 The historians talk a lot about ancient gladiators, warriors of old. 00:34:29.485 --> 00:34:32.200 But I always said 00:34:32.200 --> 00:34:39.430 the most blood thirsty and ambitious group are aspiring musical theater performers. 00:34:39.430 --> 00:34:45.770 And I'm sure you'll break a leg out there, headliner. 00:34:50.880 --> 00:34:53.770 So in conclusion, we are talking about, 00:34:53.770 --> 00:34:57.310 The complete psychic entropy of the planet. Yeah, I get it. 00:34:57.310 --> 00:35:01.660 But what you need to understand as to what Charl has made is a lot of people, 00:35:01.660 --> 00:35:03.895 a lot of cheddar. Big, 00:35:03.895 --> 00:35:06.520 thick, fat stacks of cheddar. 00:35:06.520 --> 00:35:08.335 Dave, Dave, forget about the cheddar, okay? 00:35:08.335 --> 00:35:12.685 Are those stacks of cheddar worth the price of your soul? 00:35:12.685 --> 00:35:15.775 Why would you be loyal to something that treats you like a tool? 00:35:15.775 --> 00:35:18.595 It's never been about loyalty. It was about—Shh shh shh shh shh shh. 00:35:18.595 --> 00:35:20.995 We're just asking for your help. 00:35:20.995 --> 00:35:23.365 Okay, not as Dave the agent, 00:35:23.365 --> 00:35:26.470 but as Dave the person. 00:35:26.470 --> 00:35:31.285 But also as Dave the agent because we need you to do a bunch of agent stuff. 00:35:31.285 --> 00:35:38.320 Yeah, so sort of a, yeah like a David—Dave the agent person or Dave person. 00:35:38.320 --> 00:35:39.955 Agent David person. 00:35:39.955 --> 00:35:41.650 Just Dave is fine—shh shh shh 00:35:41.650 --> 00:35:46.315 Okay, I'm going to crack this. David? Agency David man. 00:35:46.315 --> 00:35:48.700 Matt! Lives are on the line. 00:35:48.700 --> 00:35:50.065 Right. 00:35:50.065 --> 00:35:52.345 So what do you say? 00:35:52.345 --> 00:35:57.650 Repping a murderous, interdimensional shape-shifting criminal is a bad look. 00:35:58.860 --> 00:36:04.705 I'm saying, I agree. Yes. 00:36:04.705 --> 00:36:07.285 Oh shit, okay, here we go. Come on. Let's get it. 00:36:07.285 --> 00:36:10.915 Okay, so what we want to do is we want to take the clout from Charl. 00:36:10.915 --> 00:36:13.660 Without his clout, Charl loses power. 00:36:13.660 --> 00:36:15.295 Oh, like the Catholic Church. 00:36:15.295 --> 00:36:16.990 Yeah, actually. Yeah. 00:36:16.990 --> 00:36:18.160 And what we want to use you for 00:36:18.160 --> 00:36:21.445 is, since you represent all these like YouTube-ist people online, 00:36:21.445 --> 00:36:23.515 we want to take their massive audience, 00:36:23.515 --> 00:36:25.405 and turn them against Charl. 00:36:25.405 --> 00:36:27.130 We fight clout, 00:36:27.130 --> 00:36:30.235 with even more clout. 00:36:30.235 --> 00:36:33.085 You've come to the right place. 00:36:33.085 --> 00:36:38.830 It's time for some gratuitous fucking cameos. 00:36:38.830 --> 00:36:40.350 Yes, dude. 00:36:40.350 --> 00:36:45.350 [dialing phone] 00:36:45.350 --> 00:37:45.175 [funky transitional montage music plays]. 00:37:45.175 --> 00:37:48.810 [phone rings] 00:37:48.810 --> 00:37:53.780 That's the whole thing. That's my plan. What do you think? 00:37:57.840 --> 00:37:59.379 I think y— 00:37:59.379 --> 00:38:06.265 We need Jimmy. You want to get Jimmy? 00:38:06.265 --> 00:38:10.345 It's 100,000 gallons of pudding per person. 00:38:10.345 --> 00:38:11.440 Not for the event. 00:38:11.440 --> 00:38:11.890 Okay, alright. 00:38:11.890 --> 00:38:14.260 Go fix it. All right. You got two minutes. 00:38:14.260 --> 00:38:16.795 Then I'm giving a dolphin a million dollars. Why are you here? 00:38:16.795 --> 00:38:18.040 We've got a little bit of crisis. 00:38:18.040 --> 00:38:20.050 A little bit of a crisis. Is LegalEagle 00:38:20.050 --> 00:38:21.760 in legal trouble? 00:38:21.760 --> 00:38:27.370 Not this time. Uh no, this is more about parallel dimensions and the fate of the universe. 00:38:27.370 --> 00:38:29.710 Parallel dimensions and the fate of the universe. 00:38:29.710 --> 00:38:31.420 You do realize I'm just a YouTuber. 00:38:31.420 --> 00:38:36.650 Jimmy. It's about Charl. 00:38:48.650 --> 00:38:52.000 [squeak] [squeak] 00:38:52.440 --> 00:38:55.340 How much do you need? 00:39:01.230 --> 00:39:04.775 Hey, can you hear me? 00:39:04.775 --> 00:39:06.510 Hi everybody. 00:39:06.510 --> 00:39:08.660 Wow. It's everyone today. 00:39:08.660 --> 00:39:09.660 Hey guys, how's it going? 00:39:09.660 --> 00:39:17.450 [everyone on call chattering at once] 00:39:17.450 --> 00:39:20.020 Hey nerds! Shut up! 00:39:20.820 --> 00:39:24.010 Dave the agent, would you like to get us started? 00:39:24.010 --> 00:39:25.990 Gladly. So here's the problem. 00:39:25.990 --> 00:39:30.850 Patrick, one of our clients has introduced the world to a coconut named Charl. 00:39:30.850 --> 00:39:36.355 Charl is adorable, lovable, and makes us fat stacks of cheddar. 00:39:36.355 --> 00:39:39.595 But this live stream is going to kill every person on Earth, 00:39:39.595 --> 00:39:41.875 so [squeak] we have to stop him. 00:39:41.875 --> 00:39:47.020 It will allegedly kill every person on Earth and on that note, 00:39:47.020 --> 00:39:48.355 I'm going to have to remove myself. 00:39:48.355 --> 00:39:52.280 Charl is a client and my being here is a major conflict of interest. [bangs gavel] 00:39:52.710 --> 00:39:56.500 Hello, Chloe here, but not the Chloe you know, 00:39:56.500 --> 00:39:58.360 I'm a Chloe from another dimension where I'm 00:39:58.360 --> 00:40:01.945 an interdimensional crime buster who's been on the hunt for Charl for years. 00:40:01.945 --> 00:40:06.265 There is a way to defeat Charl. An off switch on his belly. 00:40:06.265 --> 00:40:08.785 But right now we can't access his belly. 00:40:08.785 --> 00:40:11.725 Charl's power levels are so high that he's, 00:40:11.725 --> 00:40:15.175 he's vibrating at a frequency that's untouchable, literally untouchable. 00:40:15.175 --> 00:40:18.775 Yeah, Dr. Mike tried to give him a physical and nearly burned his hand off. 00:40:18.775 --> 00:40:21.925 It actually got way worse after you left. 00:40:21.925 --> 00:40:24.850 Oh my God. Why didn't you say something? 00:40:24.850 --> 00:40:26.695 Because I'm a professional, David. 00:40:26.695 --> 00:40:28.750 Look, the only way we can touch Charl and 00:40:28.750 --> 00:40:31.255 switch him off is by cutting off his power supply. 00:40:31.255 --> 00:40:34.030 What is his power supply? 00:40:34.030 --> 00:40:37.135 Batteries or nuclear energy or something? 00:40:37.135 --> 00:40:40.210 Clout. We need to take Charl's fame. 00:40:40.210 --> 00:40:43.150 We need to make him... Lame. 00:40:43.150 --> 00:40:47.200 Look can't you just tell your viewers that Charl sucks and to stop watching him? 00:40:47.200 --> 00:40:51.250 That would never work. His fandom is way too strong. 00:40:51.250 --> 00:40:55.360 He's been the top search on Tumblr and AO3 for months. 00:40:55.360 --> 00:40:57.940 Have uh... have you thought about hitting him with a hammer? 00:40:57.940 --> 00:41:00.805 Guys, you are making this way too hard. 00:41:00.805 --> 00:41:02.245 If you want to get some canceled, 00:41:02.245 --> 00:41:04.855 just find the receipts. 00:41:04.855 --> 00:41:07.060 Yeah, yeah, like maybe he cheated on his taxes. 00:41:07.060 --> 00:41:10.045 No, no, no... just like his old tweets. 00:41:10.045 --> 00:41:11.590 Just find his old tweets. 00:41:11.590 --> 00:41:14.950 Goddamnit. That's just crazy enough to work. 00:41:14.950 --> 00:41:16.495 No, his tweets are too clean. 00:41:16.495 --> 00:41:22.810 Look "Which Fast family member are you?" Charl is "Definitely Tej hashtag Toretto Tuesday" 00:41:22.810 --> 00:41:25.145 This whole thing is boringly uncontroversial. 00:41:25.145 --> 00:41:26.790 But it wasn't always. 00:41:26.790 --> 00:41:27.895 Huh? 00:41:27.895 --> 00:41:30.720 On the last world he went to, the one Patrick's 00:41:30.720 --> 00:41:34.290 from Charl went full edge lord, he offended everybody. 00:41:34.290 --> 00:41:36.140 That's how he ended up in jail. 00:41:36.140 --> 00:41:37.675 For tweets? 00:41:37.675 --> 00:41:39.595 Well, he also drown some nuns. 00:41:39.595 --> 00:41:42.490 Those tweets are from a different dimension. How do we get them? 00:41:42.490 --> 00:41:44.515 We just have to access Twitter, 00:41:44.515 --> 00:41:46.620 in another dimension. 00:41:46.620 --> 00:41:49.195 Uhhhhhh... huh? 00:41:49.195 --> 00:41:52.225 What we need to do first is locate the right dimension. 00:41:52.225 --> 00:41:55.374 Each dimension has its own specific harmonic frequency. 00:41:55.374 --> 00:41:57.010 If we compare audio recordings from 00:41:57.010 --> 00:41:59.020 current Patrick to recordings of our original Patrick, 00:41:59.020 --> 00:42:03.355 we should be able to analyze the spectrum for differences in their resonant harmonics. 00:42:03.355 --> 00:42:05.710 Right. And then we can isolate the frequency range as 00:42:05.710 --> 00:42:09.295 a starting point and then compare it to recording Charl. 00:42:09.295 --> 00:42:12.309 Wait, if Chloe can travel between dimensions, 00:42:12.309 --> 00:42:14.695 why doesn't she just go get the tweets? 00:42:14.695 --> 00:42:17.380 My transporter can only take me to each dimension once, 00:42:17.380 --> 00:42:20.095 once I've left a dimension, there's no going back. 00:42:20.095 --> 00:42:23.680 This feels like a pretty specific and contrived limitation 00:42:23.680 --> 00:42:26.065 that should have been mention— 00:42:26.065 --> 00:42:29.665 Anyone else want to point out plot holes? 00:42:29.665 --> 00:42:33.979 No? Good. Let's continue. 00:42:34.260 --> 00:42:37.660 You know, actual interdimensional travel isn't really necessary. 00:42:37.660 --> 00:42:39.820 We just have to send and receive data. 00:42:39.820 --> 00:42:43.825 Brian, could you rig together some kind of interdimensional wifi router? 00:42:43.825 --> 00:42:47.785 If I can get schematics to old Chloe's dimension hopper thing. 00:42:47.785 --> 00:42:49.150 I can rig something together. 00:42:49.150 --> 00:42:51.010 I'm putting together the list of parts we'll need, 00:42:51.010 --> 00:42:52.780 but these things are scattered all over the place. 00:42:52.780 --> 00:42:55.105 There's some in Taiwan, there's some in Australia. 00:42:55.105 --> 00:42:57.430 Oh, this is easy. If we hire Foxconn to 00:42:57.430 --> 00:42:59.905 leverage their shipping and trade routes in Southeast Asia and supplement 00:42:59.905 --> 00:43:02.830 additional parts from AliExpress, we could have Evan get everything loaded 00:43:02.830 --> 00:43:05.935 in checked baggage on the 12:35 AM flight from Hong Kong to New York. 00:43:05.935 --> 00:43:08.440 And if we book Brian on a 5:00 PM flight from Austin, 00:43:08.440 --> 00:43:10.480 he should be there to meet him at the airport and get it all 00:43:10.480 --> 00:43:13.090 out to the warehouse by 10:00 PM Tuesday. 00:43:13.090 --> 00:43:15.025 Did you just look that up? 00:43:15.025 --> 00:43:17.125 Isn't this common knowledge? 00:43:17.125 --> 00:43:19.615 Alright. We've got a plan. We each know what we're going to do. 00:43:19.615 --> 00:43:21.115 Are we good to go? 00:43:21.115 --> 00:43:26.560 Yes. Who is Charl? 00:43:26.600 --> 00:43:30.270 Can you believe people call YouTubers like talentless, 00:43:30.270 --> 00:43:33.345 wastes of space, making our generation dumber minute by minute? 00:43:33.345 --> 00:43:36.390 I mean, that one guy was talking about engineering, that's STEM. 00:43:36.390 --> 00:43:40.185 So now we sit and hit the refresh button every minute. 00:43:40.185 --> 00:43:44.180 Every muscle in our body tense, like a panther, ready to spring. 00:43:44.180 --> 00:43:46.630 I mean, this isn't gonna be done till tomorrow, 00:43:46.630 --> 00:43:50.635 so what I think we should do is something else to take our minds off of it and relax. 00:43:50.635 --> 00:43:51.940 Matt, I've traveled the multiverse, 00:43:51.940 --> 00:43:53.575 I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. 00:43:53.575 --> 00:43:55.955 What could this city possibly have to offer me? 00:43:55.955 --> 00:43:59.190 I'm sorry. You couldn't be talking about ♪ the greatest city 00:43:59.190 --> 00:44:03.040 in the world ♪ because I have a few ideas. 00:44:04.040 --> 00:44:06.040 (Upbeat music plays) 00:44:13.040 --> 00:44:21.040 ♪ See a side of New York no one ever sees 00:44:21.040 --> 00:44:29.540 ♪ Pull out that camera and say cheese. 00:44:29.540 --> 00:44:34.040 ♪ You've walked 20 miles or more. 00:44:34.040 --> 00:44:37.040 ♪ But never far from 44 00:44:37.040 --> 00:44:43.040 ♪ On this New York day. 00:44:49.040 --> 00:44:54.040 ♪ Now you're lost in the park or whatever 00:44:54.040 --> 00:44:58.040 ♪ You think New Yorkers live this way. 00:44:58.040 --> 00:44:58.041 ♪ On the New York 00:44:58.041 --> 00:44:59.042 What the hell are you guys doing? 00:44:59.530 --> 00:45:02.880 You need to get back here now. 00:45:05.080 --> 00:45:07.295 We have one more problem, 00:45:07.295 --> 00:45:09.800 we found the frequency and we got 00:45:09.800 --> 00:45:13.115 the device put together so we can get onto the signal we found but. 00:45:13.115 --> 00:45:14.315 What? 00:45:14.315 --> 00:45:17.270 We don't have a password, we can't get onto the interdimensional Wi-Fi. 00:45:17.270 --> 00:45:18.605 Patrick. 00:45:18.605 --> 00:45:19.970 Dave. 00:45:19.970 --> 00:45:20.915 Patrick. 00:45:20.915 --> 00:45:21.280 Dave. 00:45:21.280 --> 00:45:23.930 Used to say this thing to me all the time when we were living together. 00:45:23.930 --> 00:45:28.920 I always assumed he was joking, but what if he wasn't? 00:45:30.580 --> 00:45:36.090 ♪ My computers from another dimension. ♪ 00:45:38.740 --> 00:45:42.180 Guys, we need that laptop. 00:45:42.280 --> 00:45:44.765 We're going to have to go in. 00:45:44.765 --> 00:45:46.010 Where? 00:45:46.010 --> 00:45:49.190 Into the belly of the beast. 00:45:49.190 --> 00:45:52.110 The beast's belly. 00:46:02.200 --> 00:46:05.705 Remember, this is a stealth mission. 00:46:05.705 --> 00:46:07.355 Get the laptop and get out. 00:46:07.355 --> 00:46:09.725 None of that Torpey wildcard bullshit. 00:46:09.725 --> 00:46:13.770 No one ever thinks they need a wildcard until they do. 00:46:34.780 --> 00:46:37.565 Has anybody seen Nathan Lane? 00:46:37.565 --> 00:46:39.620 Charl wants to see him in his office now. 00:46:39.620 --> 00:46:43.085 Charlotte Rampling, please report to wardrobe. 00:46:43.085 --> 00:46:48.180 Charlotte Rampling, your coconut costume is ready. 00:46:49.990 --> 00:46:53.220 Alright, it should be here somewhere. 00:46:53.290 --> 00:46:56.820 Oh, damn, check this out. 00:46:57.010 --> 00:46:59.780 It's The Matrix soundtrack, 00:46:59.780 --> 00:47:04.475 but it's from a universe where I guess Will Smith played Neo. 00:47:04.475 --> 00:47:06.455 I've seen this version, trust me, 00:47:06.455 --> 00:47:09.365 you haven't seen The Matrix until you see it Big Willie style. 00:47:09.365 --> 00:47:15.515 Wait a second. Could this be it? 00:47:15.515 --> 00:47:20.610 Flip it over. We got it. 00:47:51.010 --> 00:47:54.470 God, these idiotic camera men are trying to shoot me with an 85 millimeter lens. 00:47:54.470 --> 00:47:58.320 This is why I wanted to do all the filming myself. 00:47:58.690 --> 00:48:00.845 Where's my laptop? 00:48:00.845 --> 00:48:03.090 Looking for this? 00:48:03.160 --> 00:48:06.170 No. I said laptop. 00:48:06.170 --> 00:48:08.149 Can't you eavesdrop properly? 00:48:08.149 --> 00:48:11.765 Wait, Matt? What are you doing here? 00:48:11.765 --> 00:48:14.240 I heard about your little live stream. 00:48:14.240 --> 00:48:16.700 You decided to come crawling back. 00:48:16.700 --> 00:48:18.005 Well, it's too late, 00:48:18.005 --> 00:48:20.765 the Charl train has left the station. 00:48:20.765 --> 00:48:23.720 Charl is my roommate now and he's the best. 00:48:23.720 --> 00:48:27.485 We're just two bros living in the city making mad stacks of cheddar. 00:48:27.485 --> 00:48:32.360 We're like Entourage except with two Vinnys and no Turtles. 00:48:32.360 --> 00:48:34.035 No Turtles, Matt! 00:48:34.035 --> 00:48:38.645 Patrick, I came to make peace. 00:48:38.645 --> 00:48:42.950 See? Like those dumb car movies you love. 00:48:42.950 --> 00:48:44.990 Matt, they drink Corona. 00:48:44.990 --> 00:48:47.930 But these are as cold as the Rockies. 00:48:47.930 --> 00:48:50.435 No, they're not. This is warm. 00:48:50.435 --> 00:48:53.180 Patrick, I had to carry those in my backpack all day. 00:48:53.180 --> 00:48:55.610 What happened to you in that other universe? 00:48:55.610 --> 00:48:58.295 Like, what made you this way? 00:48:58.295 --> 00:49:01.560 So you know about the other universe. 00:49:01.930 --> 00:49:07.130 But what you don't know is that there I was free, 00:49:07.130 --> 00:49:13.040 wasn't dragged down by friends like you and Jake and Chloe and Mick. 00:49:13.040 --> 00:49:13.790 Mike. 00:49:13.790 --> 00:49:15.800 Whatever, he's dead now, who cares? 00:49:15.800 --> 00:49:17.915 Don't you have any friends? 00:49:17.915 --> 00:49:19.670 No. I was better off. 00:49:19.670 --> 00:49:21.215 I was free to focus on work, 00:49:21.215 --> 00:49:24.290 making business deals and earning those sweet, sweet stacks of cheddar. 00:49:24.290 --> 00:49:26.990 I wasn't wasting time chatting at the lunch table, 00:49:26.990 --> 00:49:28.280 or hanging out on weekends, 00:49:28.280 --> 00:49:29.540 or moving to the city together, 00:49:29.540 --> 00:49:33.650 or making memories that would last a lifetime. Who needs it? 00:49:33.650 --> 00:49:36.365 Patrick, that's so sad. 00:49:36.365 --> 00:49:39.005 Charl is the only friend that I've ever needed. 00:49:39.005 --> 00:49:41.255 Charl is using you, 00:49:41.255 --> 00:49:46.500 if you need a friend, I'll be your friend. 00:49:47.140 --> 00:49:53.555 You know, for a friend, you picked a really inconvenient time to offer this olive branch. 00:49:53.555 --> 00:50:00.990 Matt, you are such a Turtle from Entourage and I just told you that my version has no Turtles. 00:50:04.050 --> 00:50:09.385 Yeah, we've got someone claiming to be talent that needs to be removed from dressing room B. 00:50:09.385 --> 00:50:13.150 We've got a runner, security code green. 00:50:13.150 --> 00:50:17.095 I am Charl, 00:50:17.095 --> 00:50:23.545 consumer of clout, paragon of deception. 00:50:23.545 --> 00:50:29.140 I am more adorable than the god damn minions. 00:50:29.140 --> 00:50:31.780 Hey, cocoa buddy, so there's been a bit of a breach, 00:50:31.780 --> 00:50:34.180 I think Matt's trying to spoil the live stream. 00:50:34.180 --> 00:50:35.440 We should probably- 00:50:35.440 --> 00:50:38.005 Patrick, relax. 00:50:38.005 --> 00:50:40.060 They are too late. 00:50:40.060 --> 00:50:45.295 Nothing can stop us now. 00:50:45.295 --> 00:50:50.515 Attention, there has been a security breach. Code green. 00:50:50.515 --> 00:50:55.330 Kill any intruder on sight. 00:50:55.330 --> 00:50:57.280 Alright, the device is ready to go, but we cannot get 00:50:57.280 --> 00:50:59.965 those tweets without the laptop. Where are you two? 00:50:59.965 --> 00:51:02.380 We're just looking for a clear way to exit. 00:51:02.380 --> 00:51:04.375 Oh hey Dave, yeah, so um 00:51:04.375 --> 00:51:07.300 it looks like Patrick alerted security that we're here. 00:51:07.300 --> 00:51:10.090 You think? Alright, worst-case scenario, 00:51:10.090 --> 00:51:12.610 I think I can slingshot us out of this building around a passing dimension. 00:51:12.610 --> 00:51:14.020 But if I'm even slightly off, 00:51:14.020 --> 00:51:15.940 it could break our body into a million pieces scattering 00:51:15.940 --> 00:51:18.100 our atoms across an infinite void of space and time. 00:51:18.100 --> 00:51:19.840 It sounds rad as hell, let's do it. 00:51:19.840 --> 00:51:21.625 Matt, it's extremely risky. 00:51:21.625 --> 00:51:23.230 It's okay. I'm already sold. 00:51:23.230 --> 00:51:26.290 People are not even going to be ready for what we have coming up next. 00:51:26.290 --> 00:51:31.675 Idris Elba speed running Super Mario World 3 as his character from Beasts of No Nation. 00:51:31.675 --> 00:51:34.580 One glass of TCM wine, please. 00:51:36.000 --> 00:51:38.455 Excuse me, garçon, 00:51:38.455 --> 00:51:41.810 Internet celebrity here asking for a beverage. 00:51:50.100 --> 00:51:52.720 Finally, there you are. 00:51:52.720 --> 00:51:54.355 One glass of TCM wine, 00:51:54.355 --> 00:51:57.580 something with like an Italian neo-realism flavor? 00:51:57.580 --> 00:52:00.800 Yes, sir. Coming right up, sir. 00:52:04.110 --> 00:52:05.350 Hey. 00:52:05.350 --> 00:52:14.650 Bonjour 00:52:14.650 --> 00:52:17.335 Did you just mix a bunch of wines together? 00:52:17.335 --> 00:52:20.790 It's all the rage in Europe monsieur, 00:52:20.790 --> 00:52:22.500 Well then. C'est la Vie, 00:52:22.500 --> 00:52:26.250 Patrick, I've been looking for you everywhere. 00:52:26.250 --> 00:52:31.760 The building finally cleared us to set off fireworks wherever we want. Oh, hey Matt. 00:52:34.780 --> 00:52:36.500 Matt? 00:52:36.500 --> 00:52:37.220 Patrick. 00:52:37.220 --> 00:52:39.740 Me. 00:52:39.740 --> 00:52:42.260 Me. 00:52:42.260 --> 00:52:43.100 Chloe? 00:52:43.100 --> 00:52:44.510 Chloe? 00:52:44.510 --> 00:52:46.865 My laptop. 00:52:46.865 --> 00:52:48.635 Charl. 00:52:48.635 --> 00:52:51.605 No, I'm Patrick. 00:52:51.605 --> 00:52:58.640 Chloe I should've killed you on Earth 7 when I had the chance. 00:53:00.030 --> 00:53:03.110 So, the slingshot thing? 00:53:14.340 --> 00:53:16.555 You guys get the laptop? 00:53:16.555 --> 00:53:19.820 God, I hate doing that. 00:53:20.040 --> 00:53:25.540 What the fuck? Oh my God. Where are my shoes? 00:53:25.540 --> 00:53:27.400 It's a side effect of the slingshot. 00:53:27.400 --> 00:53:28.780 Just make sure you have all your fingers and toes. 00:53:28.780 --> 00:53:29.830 What? 00:53:29.830 --> 00:53:31.555 You guys get the laptop? 00:53:31.555 --> 00:53:33.010 No, we didn't. I'm sorry. 00:53:33.010 --> 00:53:35.480 We can't get the tweets. 00:53:36.030 --> 00:53:38.900 We're all gonna die. 00:53:39.300 --> 00:53:42.530 I wouldn't be so sure of that. 00:53:44.460 --> 00:53:48.055 Does a phone from that dimension work? 00:53:48.055 --> 00:53:50.690 You son of a bitch. 00:53:53.700 --> 00:53:59.630 You guys really cut this close. Matt, you're cleaning my floor. 00:54:00.630 --> 00:54:02.725 What's that? 00:54:02.725 --> 00:54:04.945 Charl took a chunk out of me. 00:54:04.945 --> 00:54:07.310 Oh, my God. Are you going to be alright? 00:54:27.510 --> 00:54:30.590 And so it begins. 00:54:38.760 --> 00:54:42.020 The game is on. 00:54:48.450 --> 00:55:02.380 And here we go. 00:55:02.380 --> 00:55:08.660 And now the real game begins. 00:55:14.460 --> 00:55:19.370 Y'all ready for this? 00:55:27.930 --> 00:55:30.130 What's up guys? 00:55:30.130 --> 00:55:35.170 Welcome to the Charl live stream extravaganza presented by me, 00:55:35.170 --> 00:55:37.585 your boy, Patrick (H) Willems. 00:55:37.585 --> 00:55:39.685 We've got more than 40 hours of 00:55:39.685 --> 00:55:43.945 non-stop, next-level content coming straight at your eyes, 00:55:43.945 --> 00:55:46.825 your ears, and your hearts. 00:55:46.825 --> 00:55:48.595 We've got musical performances, 00:55:48.595 --> 00:55:52.120 guests on guests on guests and even a first 00:55:52.120 --> 00:55:56.229 look at the upcoming Charl movie and don't forget, 00:55:56.229 --> 00:55:58.195 it's all for charity baby. 00:55:58.195 --> 00:55:59.635 Up first yes, 00:55:59.635 --> 00:56:04.420 the rumors are true Shaq himself will be playing BurgerTime 00:56:04.420 --> 00:56:10.370 while simultaneously trying to eat 40 Papa John's pizzas. Here we go. 00:56:13.110 --> 00:56:19.460 That's odd. I thought for sure we'd have more than. 00:56:34.590 --> 00:56:41.040 Oh my God. 00:56:44.040 --> 00:56:47.155 If we don't get something soon, we're doomed. 00:56:47.155 --> 00:56:49.250 We got something. 00:57:26.370 --> 00:57:29.245 God, these are worse than I remember. 00:57:29.245 --> 00:57:32.005 This time he's gone too far. 00:57:32.005 --> 00:57:33.880 Matt, he did kill your brother. 00:57:33.880 --> 00:57:36.130 We're going to need to get this over to the right news outlet. 00:57:36.130 --> 00:57:39.080 Somebody's about to owe me a favor. 00:57:44.750 --> 00:57:47.100 Alright. You're done here, Jones. 00:57:47.100 --> 00:57:49.125 You're washed up old news. 00:57:49.125 --> 00:57:51.480 You would know a lead if it came up and kissed you. 00:57:51.480 --> 00:57:53.940 Chase, no, 00:57:53.940 --> 00:57:58.095 you can't throw me out, I still got a story in these old old bones. 00:57:58.095 --> 00:58:01.890 I am this close to the scoop of the century oh, 00:58:01.890 --> 00:58:04.985 and when it comes in, it's going to be zip zap zoom. 00:58:04.985 --> 00:58:08.050 That's me and you, we're on a rocket ship to the moon. 00:58:08.050 --> 00:58:11.695 Me and you eatin' Pulitzers for breakfast. 00:58:11.695 --> 00:58:15.290 You just got to believe in me. 00:58:16.560 --> 00:58:19.340 Rough him up a bit. 00:58:21.340 --> 00:58:26.340 No. No! 00:58:45.750 --> 00:58:48.040 What happened to you? 00:58:48.040 --> 00:58:50.800 Oh this is just a scratch. Pretty sure the punk 00:58:50.800 --> 00:58:53.905 which did this to me broke his knuckles on my ribs. 00:58:53.905 --> 00:58:57.715 I showed him. Well, 00:58:57.715 --> 00:59:00.100 what's this? Where are you going? 00:59:00.100 --> 00:59:02.320 I'm done, Fred. The paper called me, 00:59:02.320 --> 00:59:03.970 told me you'd been canned. 00:59:03.970 --> 00:59:05.454 You're a failure. 00:59:05.454 --> 00:59:07.450 Your father was right about you. 00:59:07.450 --> 00:59:09.370 That's why I'm leaving you for him. 00:59:09.370 --> 00:59:11.290 No, Barbara. Babs, honey, 00:59:11.290 --> 00:59:13.480 you just got to stick around a little while longer. 00:59:13.480 --> 00:59:17.065 Your husband he's a real news man. 00:59:17.065 --> 00:59:20.920 Please, I just need a little more time and I swear I'm going to bring you the biggest, 00:59:20.920 --> 00:59:24.620 brightest best news story the world's ever seen. 00:59:39.720 --> 00:59:47.035 That's it. That is the last straw. 00:59:47.035 --> 00:59:50.605 A man can only be pushed so far. 00:59:50.605 --> 00:59:53.890 I swear the next news lead that comes my way, 00:59:53.890 --> 00:59:55.150 I'm going to poor my blood, 00:59:55.150 --> 00:59:57.790 my sweat, my tears into it. 00:59:57.790 --> 00:59:59.200 No matter how absurd, 00:59:59.200 --> 01:00:01.090 weird or off putting that news 01:00:01.090 --> 01:00:08.240 may be. I vow, I'm going to make that news the most talked about news in the world. 01:00:18.810 --> 01:00:22.570 Now that's some news baby. 01:00:22.570 --> 01:00:25.570 Hey, you got to see this just down the street, 01:00:25.570 --> 01:00:29.740 Olivia Rodrigo is performing life-saving surgery on the President after he was 01:00:29.740 --> 01:00:34.180 shot by a crooked CEO who was trying to cover up world saving climate change research. 01:00:34.180 --> 01:00:38.545 Go to hell kid. I got a coconut to write about. 01:00:38.545 --> 01:00:42.950 But she was proctoring a driver's test. 01:00:50.040 --> 01:00:52.450 Well, I just saved print, 01:00:52.450 --> 01:00:54.860 they got this out in 10 minutes. 01:00:54.960 --> 01:00:57.310 It's already trending. 01:00:57.310 --> 01:00:59.125 They're picking it up everywhere. 01:00:59.125 --> 01:01:02.390 How's the live chat on the stream reacting? 01:01:19.440 --> 01:01:24.830 Well, it looks like some people believe it. 01:01:37.380 --> 01:01:39.925 Look if people believe us, 01:01:39.925 --> 01:01:42.130 then why is the view count going up? 01:01:42.130 --> 01:01:44.560 No one is leaving. 01:01:44.560 --> 01:01:48.500 They're just staying on to argue with each other. 01:01:48.500 --> 01:01:51.280 And now they're bringing on more people to join their sides. 01:01:51.280 --> 01:01:53.890 This isn't drawing clout away from Charl. 01:01:53.890 --> 01:01:56.630 It's giving him even more. 01:02:16.890 --> 01:02:18.070 Hi, folks. 01:02:18.070 --> 01:02:19.070 Sorry to cut into the stream 01:02:19.070 --> 01:02:20.800 I know we were all enjoying Rebel Wilson 01:02:20.800 --> 01:02:22.990 running that obstacle course while dressed as Jennyanydots 01:02:22.990 --> 01:02:28.735 from Cats but I want to address the recent reports about our friend Charl. 01:02:28.735 --> 01:02:33.205 You see Charl is a coconut, who pushes boundaries. 01:02:33.205 --> 01:02:36.310 Sometimes, yeah, he misses. 01:02:36.310 --> 01:02:41.080 He's an edgy guy trying to be the best entertainer in the world and that 01:02:41.080 --> 01:02:47.005 requires risks but that's also why we love him and let's be real, 01:02:47.005 --> 01:02:53.845 would a truly rotten coconut really hold such a garishly selfless live stream as this. 01:02:53.845 --> 01:02:56.905 I don't think so. Lest we forget, 01:02:56.905 --> 01:03:00.370 this is all for charity and on that note, 01:03:00.370 --> 01:03:02.635 let's continue with the show, shall we? 01:03:02.635 --> 01:03:07.900 Up next, we have a debut performer who you might recognize from the videos. 01:03:07.900 --> 01:03:16.610 It's the wickedly talented Chloe coming up right after a word from our sponsor, Oikos. 01:03:27.610 --> 01:03:32.610 Oik oik oik oik 01:03:32.610 --> 01:03:33.460 It's like I've always said, 01:03:33.460 --> 01:03:38.245 the best way to build clout is the same as the fourth-best Prince album. Controversy. 01:03:38.245 --> 01:03:42.340 Seriously, I mean, some old tweets was the best they could find? 01:03:42.340 --> 01:03:44.260 They didn't even mention his plan to murder 01:03:44.260 --> 01:03:47.570 the entire populace before bailing on this universe. 01:03:47.570 --> 01:03:49.440 Wait what? 01:03:49.440 --> 01:03:51.990 Oh, you didn't know? 01:03:51.990 --> 01:03:53.730 Charl doesn't actually care about anybody. 01:03:53.730 --> 01:03:56.720 I figured you'd know that since you guys seem to be partners. 01:03:56.720 --> 01:04:00.250 We're besties and eventually, 01:04:00.250 --> 01:04:04.090 we were going to get those superyachts that Jeff Bezos has. 01:04:04.090 --> 01:04:09.715 The kind of yachts that are so big they require a second yacht just to keep them upright. 01:04:09.715 --> 01:04:13.420 Superyachts? No, this isn't a ride off into the sunset thing. 01:04:13.420 --> 01:04:14.740 It's a live fast, die young, 01:04:14.740 --> 01:04:16.675 and leave a good-looking corpse situation. 01:04:16.675 --> 01:04:20.245 Why do you think I got that phrase needle-pointed on all the pillows in the break room? 01:04:20.245 --> 01:04:22.450 I thought we were going to throw parties on our yachts 01:04:22.450 --> 01:04:26.605 with top-notch guests like Carson Daly. 01:04:26.605 --> 01:04:31.790 Time to shine, carpe diem, tomorrow I come, baby. 01:04:33.840 --> 01:04:37.900 Charl is going to destroy me? 01:04:37.900 --> 01:04:40.600 He was my coco bro, 01:04:40.600 --> 01:04:47.200 my coco partner. All that cheddar we made and he was just using me? 01:04:47.200 --> 01:04:52.000 ♪ One, two, three, four, five, six 01:04:52.000 --> 01:04:56.000 ♪ This song is the new club hit 01:04:56.000 --> 01:05:00.000 ♪ Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven 01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.000 ♪ Charl is a god sent down from heaven 01:05:04.000 --> 01:05:08.000 ♪ He came into my life quite randomly 01:05:08.000 --> 01:05:11.000 ♪ Became my closest ally crazy as it seems 01:05:11.000 --> 01:05:12.500 ♪ I blackmailed— 01:05:12.500 --> 01:05:15.295 I'm sorry, this plan has failed. 01:05:15.295 --> 01:05:18.955 We'll cut our losses and I'll try to get him in the next universe. 01:05:18.955 --> 01:05:23.060 So what, that's it? We're just going to give up on this entire universe? 01:05:34.290 --> 01:05:36.655 Maybe you're right. 01:05:36.655 --> 01:05:40.630 Look, I know you are the only Matt Torpey in the Multiverse, 01:05:40.630 --> 01:05:42.775 so I'm not going to leave you behind. 01:05:42.775 --> 01:05:46.735 I should have enough juice in this thing to get us to the OOPS! All Jake universe. 01:05:46.735 --> 01:05:50.785 I figured Charl will conquer that one last since it will be so easy. 01:05:50.785 --> 01:05:54.325 We could be the sole survivors of this pathetic world. 01:05:54.325 --> 01:05:57.050 Guys, I'm right here. 01:06:12.060 --> 01:06:14.820 Wait, don't do this, 01:06:14.820 --> 01:06:17.025 or at least please take me with you. 01:06:17.025 --> 01:06:20.655 You! You started all this. 01:06:20.655 --> 01:06:22.630 Oh boy. 01:06:34.620 --> 01:06:38.600 Guys don't. You're both terrible at fighting. 01:06:38.670 --> 01:06:43.360 Well, this is embarrassing. I'm out. 01:06:45.270 --> 01:06:48.805 Matt, I didn't know Charl would destroy everybody. 01:06:48.805 --> 01:06:53.110 All I wanted was cheddar and fame and a guest spot on Logan Paul's podcasts. 01:06:53.110 --> 01:06:57.430 These Logan Paul delights have Logan Paul ends Patrick, face it. 01:06:57.430 --> 01:07:02.200 Charl used you, just like you used me and Chloe and Jake. 01:07:02.200 --> 01:07:03.940 God, you're pathetic. 01:07:03.940 --> 01:07:12.915 Charl brought out the worst in everyone and you let it happen. Look at that. 01:07:12.915 --> 01:07:15.960 Everyone brought down to the lowest common denominator. 01:07:15.960 --> 01:07:18.060 It's like when The Wild Thornberrys met the Rugrats. 01:07:18.060 --> 01:07:21.700 It's like who are you even pandering to? Makes me sick. 01:07:21.700 --> 01:07:25.975 You, you make me sick. You know what you're like? 01:07:25.975 --> 01:07:31.000 You're like Spike the dog. Voiced by Bruce Willis in the movie Rugrats Go Wild. 01:07:31.000 --> 01:07:33.085 Matt, that's it. 01:07:33.085 --> 01:07:35.140 That's how we beat Charl. 01:07:35.140 --> 01:07:39.835 Yes, I release a blues album like Bruce Willis and I title it The Return of Matto. 01:07:39.835 --> 01:07:41.740 Alright, I've got this baby ready to go. 01:07:41.740 --> 01:07:46.540 No, Matt. You need to do what you do best. 01:07:46.540 --> 01:07:53.270 You need... to wine. 01:07:53.640 --> 01:07:57.670 You just have an entire box of TCM wine with you? 01:07:57.670 --> 01:07:59.920 Yeah. I like a glass of wine when I cross dimensions. 01:07:59.920 --> 01:08:01.105 It helps settle my stomach. 01:08:01.105 --> 01:08:05.575 Look Matt, if there is one thing I've ever seen you do well, 01:08:05.575 --> 01:08:10.525 it was last summer when you complained about '90s Nickelodeon cartoons. 01:08:10.525 --> 01:08:13.210 That was a very, very dark time in my life. 01:08:13.210 --> 01:08:17.590 I was being psychologically tortured by Charl. I can't go back to that. 01:08:17.590 --> 01:08:20.125 Matt, why do you think he was tormenting you? 01:08:20.125 --> 01:08:24.280 It was because your segment on the show was getting more attention than his. 01:08:24.280 --> 01:08:26.500 He felt threatened by you. 01:08:26.500 --> 01:08:28.375 Matt, I don't know you very well. 01:08:28.375 --> 01:08:30.745 We were never friends in my universe. 01:08:30.745 --> 01:08:33.115 In fact, I'm not sure you even existed there, 01:08:33.115 --> 01:08:36.520 but I know talent when I see it. 01:08:36.520 --> 01:08:39.040 Complaining about cartoons. 01:08:39.040 --> 01:08:45.550 Matt, what do you say we give this universe one more chance? 01:08:45.550 --> 01:08:50.200 I mean, I think I have some qualms with the third season of Courage the Cowardly Dog. 01:08:50.200 --> 01:08:52.945 In fact, I know I do. 01:08:52.945 --> 01:08:54.864 Get this man a camera, 01:08:54.864 --> 01:08:58.940 some lights, and a microphone. 01:09:00.870 --> 01:09:04.340 Fuck it. Let's hear what he has to say. 01:09:37.500 --> 01:09:40.435 Hey guys, it's me. Matt Torpey. 01:09:40.435 --> 01:09:43.390 You might remember me from the Peabody Award rejected segment, 01:09:43.390 --> 01:09:47.035 Matt Wines, which TV Guide once called "on". 01:09:47.035 --> 01:09:52.820 I wanted to talk to you all tonight about crossover events in cartoons. 01:09:54.820 --> 01:09:59.820 ♪ He made me a star overnight 01:09:59.820 --> 01:10:03.320 ♪ He made me so famous that I stayed up all night 01:10:03.320 --> 01:10:04.820 [phone ding] 01:10:04.820 --> 01:10:06.820 ♪ So I would have the power to write this song 01:10:06.820 --> 01:10:07.690 Oh mom. Dad. 01:10:07.690 --> 01:10:12.550 Sophie be quiet. We do not want to miss a Charl livestream extravaganza Easter egg. 01:10:12.550 --> 01:10:17.575 The first person to spot all the eggs wins an all expenses paid trip to Tehran. 01:10:17.575 --> 01:10:20.510 But there's a new Matt Wines going live right now. 01:10:20.510 --> 01:10:24.130 Oh sweetie. How could Matt Wines possibly compared to 01:10:24.130 --> 01:10:28.090 the garish and hypnotic spectacle we have on right now? 01:10:28.090 --> 01:10:33.170 I don't know. He feels authentic like he's dropping real truth bombs here. 01:10:36.000 --> 01:10:38.110 But just for five minutes. 01:10:38.110 --> 01:10:39.760 I swear to God, 01:10:39.760 --> 01:10:43.240 if I miss a free trip to Tehran for this. 01:10:43.240 --> 01:10:47.965 But then that all changed when they re-branded the show as Disney's Doug. [gag sound] 01:10:47.965 --> 01:10:50.750 Don't even get me started. 01:10:51.540 --> 01:10:55.070 Too late, you got me started. 01:11:00.660 --> 01:11:07.630 My favorite cartoons of all time and it came on and I watched it and I was like, 01:11:07.630 --> 01:11:10.280 why does this suck shit? 01:11:13.500 --> 01:11:17.545 God, this must be the best night of my life. 01:11:17.545 --> 01:11:19.480 What is happening? 01:11:19.480 --> 01:11:20.935 What are you talking about? 01:11:20.935 --> 01:11:22.690 The numbers, the views, 01:11:22.690 --> 01:11:25.299 the clout, it's going down. 01:11:25.299 --> 01:11:26.410 How should I know. 01:11:26.410 --> 01:11:27.685 I've been singing? 01:11:27.685 --> 01:11:31.645 Did your performance just sink the livestream? Tell me. 01:11:31.645 --> 01:11:35.965 Impossible. There must be something else happening. 01:11:35.965 --> 01:11:41.080 There. There's a competing livestream event that's drawing away views. 01:11:41.080 --> 01:11:45.250 Who would dare stand against me? 01:11:45.250 --> 01:11:49.090 So uh, here's my problem with Stoop Kid's representation of agoraphobia. 01:11:49.090 --> 01:11:52.135 A stoop is outside. 01:11:52.135 --> 01:11:54.925 He wouldn't like to be out there. It's stupid. 01:11:54.925 --> 01:11:57.880 Such powerful opinions. 01:11:57.880 --> 01:11:59.785 I will hear none of it. 01:11:59.785 --> 01:12:02.905 I am going to clean up this mess. 01:12:02.905 --> 01:12:04.540 When I return, 01:12:04.540 --> 01:12:07.700 you better be gone. 01:12:08.100 --> 01:12:17.870 Oh, don't worry. Chloe will be somewhere else. 01:12:32.370 --> 01:12:37.255 I can't believe he's actually doing it. 01:12:37.255 --> 01:12:40.225 He is pulling away views from Charl. 01:12:40.225 --> 01:12:44.380 Man, people in this universe are really passionate about cartoons. 01:12:44.380 --> 01:12:46.075 If we can just keep the stream open, 01:12:46.075 --> 01:12:48.910 there might actually be a chance that we could— 01:12:48.910 --> 01:12:51.380 Et tu, Patrick. 01:12:52.740 --> 01:12:56.290 Why have you thrown in with this lot, 01:12:56.290 --> 01:12:59.575 haven't I given you everything you need. 01:12:59.575 --> 01:13:01.570 Um... what, what that show is about 01:13:01.570 --> 01:13:06.895 Remember when we were just a couple of inmates sharing the same cafeteria table. 01:13:06.895 --> 01:13:10.705 Remember that? Friend. 01:13:10.705 --> 01:13:12.745 You never cared about me. 01:13:12.745 --> 01:13:16.330 This is all just about you and your fucking clout. 01:13:16.330 --> 01:13:19.675 You were gonna to destroy everything we worked for. 01:13:19.675 --> 01:13:21.280 We were supposed to party on yachts with Carson Daly. 01:13:21.280 --> 01:13:27.230 It was going to be like Entourage but with two Vinnys and no— 01:13:29.400 --> 01:13:35.770 Patrick. This isn't how I wanted you to find out. 01:13:35.770 --> 01:13:39.730 I wanted you to find out seconds before I 01:13:39.730 --> 01:13:44.145 smashed you like a bug to see the look on your face. 01:13:44.145 --> 01:13:47.835 When I finally shut you up, 01:13:47.835 --> 01:13:54.480 I'm going to enjoy this just like when I killed Jake. 01:13:54.480 --> 01:13:57.970 Yeah? Well, enjoy this! 01:13:57.970 --> 01:13:59.500 Chloe, no! You can't touch him! 01:13:59.500 --> 01:14:03.900 Gymkata! 01:14:03.900 --> 01:14:08.660 And now, like think Minions, right? It looks like a pill. 01:14:15.510 --> 01:14:19.675 Wait, I was able to touch him. 01:14:19.675 --> 01:14:20.875 What? 01:14:20.875 --> 01:14:21.865 Matt. 01:14:21.865 --> 01:14:23.245 CatDog, It's like they're— 01:14:23.245 --> 01:14:27.800 He's losing clout. It's working. Keep whining. 01:14:30.540 --> 01:14:33.280 Ladies and gentlemen, we now need to talk about 01:14:33.280 --> 01:14:35.755 the worst addition to our current pop culture. 01:14:35.755 --> 01:14:37.885 Bum-buh, drum roll, drum roll. 01:14:37.885 --> 01:14:41.890 If there is one cute little cartoony character that is just 01:14:41.890 --> 01:14:47.420 absolutely pandering trash. It's Charl. 01:14:50.250 --> 01:14:55.225 Yeah, Charl. You know, that cute little coconut everyone has been going coconuts about. 01:14:55.225 --> 01:14:57.820 News flash. He's not even a coconut. 01:14:57.820 --> 01:15:00.550 He's a murderous robot built so a bunch of 01:15:00.550 --> 01:15:03.880 corporate bigwigs could sell more merch. He's isn't funny. 01:15:03.880 --> 01:15:05.050 He isn't interesting, 01:15:05.050 --> 01:15:06.850 he doesn't even have a catchphrase. 01:15:06.850 --> 01:15:09.595 Come on. A coconut with googly eyes? 01:15:09.595 --> 01:15:13.880 You know that shit's lazy people, like wake up. 01:15:13.880 --> 01:15:16.410 Chloe. 01:15:19.350 --> 01:15:21.490 Jake. 01:15:21.490 --> 01:15:24.010 Now is the time. 01:15:24.010 --> 01:15:27.140 You know what you must do. 01:15:44.280 --> 01:15:47.090 It's a hammer. 01:15:47.520 --> 01:15:51.805 Hey, you want a steaming cup of hot goss? 01:15:51.805 --> 01:15:53.800 You want me to spill the tea on this whole situation? 01:15:53.800 --> 01:15:56.860 Take it from me. I lived with Charl for months. 01:15:56.860 --> 01:16:00.325 First, he stole my best friend from me, 01:16:00.325 --> 01:16:03.790 then he drove me to the brink of insanity, 01:16:03.790 --> 01:16:08.890 and then he killed my brother and worst of all, 01:16:08.890 --> 01:16:13.705 he produced a shitty soulless CGI reboot of Rugrats. 01:16:13.705 --> 01:16:17.485 And if there was one thing Rugrats taught us, 01:16:17.485 --> 01:16:24.140 it's that eventually everything needs to die. 01:16:42.630 --> 01:16:44.770 You can't destroy me. 01:16:44.770 --> 01:16:47.875 I am Charl, 01:16:47.875 --> 01:16:52.300 eater of c-c-clout, destroyer of wor-wor-worlds. 01:16:52.300 --> 01:16:55.075 Cutest thing since the m-m-m-minions, 01:16:55.075 --> 01:16:58.585 I could corrupt your mind with a glance. 01:16:58.585 --> 01:17:02.230 I can dodge bullets. 01:17:02.230 --> 01:17:06.190 Yeah. But this is a hammer. 01:17:15.830 --> 01:17:18.250 Got him. 01:17:18.410 --> 01:17:20.970 Yeah, you did. 01:17:20.970 --> 01:17:22.810 Cheers. 01:17:23.460 --> 01:17:25.675 Hey, folks Patrick here. 01:17:25.675 --> 01:17:28.390 You might remember me from that other live stream tonight, 01:17:28.390 --> 01:17:30.535 but now I'm here anyway. 01:17:30.535 --> 01:17:38.180 We hope you all enjoyed this special encore presentation of Matt Wines. Goodnight. 01:17:42.770 --> 01:17:47.090 I'm reluctantly okay with this. 01:17:50.930 --> 01:17:53.680 Did we win? 01:18:00.380 --> 01:18:03.105 Well done, me. 01:18:03.105 --> 01:18:05.490 You've taken all the clout. 01:18:05.490 --> 01:18:10.140 I was supposed to close up this livestream as humanity perished 01:18:10.140 --> 01:18:15.435 and you've stolen my chance to be the last star this world would ever know. 01:18:15.435 --> 01:18:21.300 My voice would have echoed forever throughout the cosmos. True immortality! 01:18:21.300 --> 01:18:25.845 Damn, Chloe got dark this year. 01:18:25.845 --> 01:18:27.480 I will get you for this. 01:18:27.480 --> 01:18:34.330 This is not the last you've heard of Chloe the multiverse's biggest star. 01:18:36.980 --> 01:18:40.335 Should we be worried about this? 01:18:40.335 --> 01:18:43.720 Sounds like a next season problem. 01:18:51.890 --> 01:18:55.410 I'm here to report that as of this morning 01:18:55.410 --> 01:18:58.555 my agency has severed all ties with Charl the Coconut. 01:18:58.555 --> 01:19:01.580 As we're all keenly aware after the events of 01:19:01.580 --> 01:19:05.225 his disastrous live stream, Charl disappeared. 01:19:05.225 --> 01:19:07.460 This morning a note was found. 01:19:07.460 --> 01:19:09.520 It reads and I quote. 01:19:09.520 --> 01:19:12.180 "Earth sucks. You are all a bunch of fat wads. 01:19:12.180 --> 01:19:13.260 You will not be missed. 01:19:13.260 --> 01:19:16.275 Peace out, fam. –Charl." 01:19:16.275 --> 01:19:18.090 You know, I never liked him. 01:19:18.090 --> 01:19:20.190 Now it's not all bad news. 01:19:20.190 --> 01:19:22.650 I'm also happy to announce our partnership with 01:19:22.650 --> 01:19:25.110 Renaissance Man and the world's newest star author 01:19:25.110 --> 01:19:30.300 Matt Torpey who is an actual human being and in my opinion better than a coconut. 01:19:30.300 --> 01:19:33.150 His new album The Return of Matto will be 01:19:33.150 --> 01:19:36.940 available in stores this summer. No further questions. 01:19:37.460 --> 01:19:41.445 You weren't really going to leave without saying goodbye, were you? 01:19:41.445 --> 01:19:44.955 Shouldn't you be off on your international book tour already? 01:19:44.955 --> 01:19:47.790 I decided to take some time off. 01:19:47.790 --> 01:19:50.475 Drop this rough exterior you've been seeing and 01:19:50.475 --> 01:19:54.105 go out and enjoy life once again. Could be fun. 01:19:54.105 --> 01:19:57.375 Sounds like mile a minute excitement, but I can't rest. 01:19:57.375 --> 01:19:59.850 There's still interdimensional criminals out there. 01:19:59.850 --> 01:20:04.830 Ten ton mega cockroaches hiding from the burnt-out sons of Uratopia. 01:20:04.830 --> 01:20:09.300 Once again your job sounds really awesome and really terrifying. 01:20:09.300 --> 01:20:11.490 You should take a vacation. 01:20:11.490 --> 01:20:13.125 I mean you've really earned it. 01:20:13.125 --> 01:20:17.755 We need another Chloe in this dimension ever since ours went bananas. 01:20:17.755 --> 01:20:19.940 I've also got an agent now, so 01:20:19.940 --> 01:20:21.770 I'm gonna be gobbling up clout left and right. 01:20:21.770 --> 01:20:25.070 What if I turn it to a clout hungry monster, you know? 01:20:25.070 --> 01:20:28.015 It would be really nice to have someone close by who could stop me. 01:20:28.015 --> 01:20:30.810 I mean, it would be wildly easy to take you down, 01:20:30.810 --> 01:20:33.945 like a professional boxer punching an armless child. 01:20:33.945 --> 01:20:35.940 That's an extreme example. 01:20:35.940 --> 01:20:37.650 You are physically pathetic. 01:20:37.650 --> 01:20:38.460 Okay. 01:20:38.460 --> 01:20:40.950 The combat skills of a sleepy kitten. 01:20:40.950 --> 01:20:46.500 Sure. Is this your way of saying you're going to stay? 01:20:46.500 --> 01:20:51.165 Maybe. Yeah. I might for awhile, 01:20:51.165 --> 01:20:54.910 for you, for your protection. 01:20:55.070 --> 01:20:58.000 Noice dude. 01:20:58.190 --> 01:21:02.025 So this chapter is finally coming to a close. 01:21:02.025 --> 01:21:05.530 All wrapped up. No loose ends. 01:21:09.590 --> 01:21:14.530 Wait. Where the fuck is our Patrick? 01:21:16.070 --> 01:21:19.395 Oh shoot, I totally forgot to tell you guys, didn't I? 01:21:19.395 --> 01:21:21.960 Yes! Okay. Don't worry. 01:21:21.960 --> 01:21:23.400 I left him on a remote deserted island. 01:21:23.400 --> 01:21:25.050 He's totally fine I promise. 01:21:25.050 --> 01:21:28.710 I will drop you guys a pin. There you go. 01:21:28.710 --> 01:21:34.845 So uh... think I'm going to head out now. 01:21:34.845 --> 01:21:38.550 W-w-wait. Pat. You're on this beautiful path of redemption. 01:21:38.550 --> 01:21:41.955 Why don't you go back to your dimension? Turn yourself in. 01:21:41.955 --> 01:21:45.370 Yeah, take some responsibility for your actions. Yeah. 01:21:47.000 --> 01:21:49.740 Maybe... maybe you guys are right. 01:21:49.740 --> 01:21:56.085 Maybe this is the start of me learning to be a better person. 01:21:56.085 --> 01:21:58.950 With a little help from my friends. 01:21:58.950 --> 01:22:01.680 Come on, man. 01:22:01.680 --> 01:22:05.890 Matt and Chloe. What the heck is that? 01:22:10.820 --> 01:22:13.815 Ah. Should we uh, should we try and get him? 01:22:13.815 --> 01:22:17.920 No, let him go. I don't think he can wreak any more havoc on this planet. 01:22:23.720 --> 01:22:26.410 So, island time? 01:22:37.370 --> 01:22:41.715 So other Patrick has been air dropping him food and supplies all year. 01:22:41.715 --> 01:22:46.425 I mean, he would have to. I mean if Pat had to forage for himself he'd be dead within two days. 01:22:46.425 --> 01:22:48.000 He's an incredibly picky eater. 01:22:48.000 --> 01:22:51.435 Oh, it's such a shame, considering there's all this fruit growing on the island. 01:22:51.435 --> 01:22:54.520 He says it's a texture thing. 01:23:37.090 --> 01:23:41.895 Outlanders. 01:23:41.895 --> 01:23:46.645 Hey hey hey, Pat, Pat, Pat! Jesus, it's me. 01:23:46.645 --> 01:23:50.665 It's your roommate, er your ex-roommate, but it's Matt. Matt. Remember? 01:23:50.665 --> 01:23:52.180 This is the most vivid mirage yet. 01:23:52.180 --> 01:23:56.230 No, not a mirage. Not a mirage. 01:23:56.230 --> 01:23:58.225 Real flesh. 01:23:58.225 --> 01:24:05.230 Flesh, real. Matt, Pat, Chloe. 01:24:05.230 --> 01:24:06.940 Sort of, I'm Chloe, 01:24:06.940 --> 01:24:08.230 but not the Chloe you know, 01:24:08.230 --> 01:24:10.075 I'm actually from an alternate universe. 01:24:10.075 --> 01:24:12.830 Hey, Alt Chloe. We can do this later, right? 01:24:14.130 --> 01:24:15.520 Matt. 01:24:15.520 --> 01:24:16.345 It's me. 01:24:16.345 --> 01:24:17.140 Matt? 01:24:17.140 --> 01:24:18.505 Yes. 01:24:18.505 --> 01:24:20.095 It really is you. 01:24:20.095 --> 01:24:21.260 Yeah. 01:24:25.470 --> 01:24:28.720 Oh, god. I've been so alone. 01:24:28.720 --> 01:24:30.745 I thought I'd be here forever. 01:24:30.745 --> 01:24:35.870 Just me. Me and My co-pilot, Jame. 01:24:36.060 --> 01:24:44.575 This is Jame. It's like James, but singular. Jame! 01:24:44.575 --> 01:24:48.560 Trust us. It's for your own good. 01:24:56.730 --> 01:25:01.390 Okay, everybody. So I wanted to get us all pina coladas, 01:25:01.390 --> 01:25:03.775 but I got us the next best thing, 01:25:03.775 --> 01:25:07.780 coconut flavored, LaCroix, their worst flavor. 01:25:07.780 --> 01:25:09.370 Oh, man. 01:25:09.370 --> 01:25:12.160 It's so nice to have real food again. 01:25:12.160 --> 01:25:13.720 For the past year on this island, 01:25:13.720 --> 01:25:18.387 all I've had are these pre-made paninis that are airdropped via helicopter once a month. 01:25:18.387 --> 01:25:22.700 Plus these gross blackberries by some company called Raycon. 01:25:23.490 --> 01:25:26.095 You know, I thought this would never end. 01:25:26.095 --> 01:25:29.110 A whole year in complete isolation. 01:25:29.110 --> 01:25:31.315 Cut off from all human contact. 01:25:31.315 --> 01:25:34.749 No toilet paper. Waking up to the same routine 01:25:34.749 --> 01:25:39.745 every day with a weird urge to learn how to make sourdough bread. 01:25:39.745 --> 01:25:46.195 I tried to learn French on Duolingo but I got frustrated and threw my phone in the ocean. 01:25:46.195 --> 01:25:51.430 No one could ever understand what this experience has been like. 01:25:51.430 --> 01:25:53.140 Do we tell him? 01:25:53.140 --> 01:25:53.980 What? 01:25:53.980 --> 01:25:57.640 Hey, so good news. F9 was delayed a whole year. 01:25:57.640 --> 01:25:58.960 So you didn't miss it. 01:25:58.960 --> 01:26:00.070 That's such good news. 01:26:00.070 --> 01:26:00.280 Yeah. 01:26:00.280 --> 01:26:03.110 That the one thing I really cared about. 01:26:03.990 --> 01:26:08.260 Hey, how is the channel doing? Still making video essays? 01:26:08.260 --> 01:26:13.340 Sort of. It's been really weird. 01:28:15.500 --> 01:28:20.040 Hell yeah. 01:28:35.070 --> 01:28:39.370 Breaking news in the ongoing story of Charl the Coconut. 01:28:39.370 --> 01:28:41.590 New documents have been discovered detailing 01:28:41.590 --> 01:28:45.295 Charl's plans to kill every person on earth and extract, 01:28:45.295 --> 01:28:48.415 "That sweet, sweet, succulent clout." 01:28:48.415 --> 01:28:49.990 Accomplice Patrick Willems, 01:28:49.990 --> 01:28:52.835 remains at large, whereabouts unknown. 01:28:52.835 --> 01:28:56.160 While earlier today, another man claiming to also be 01:28:56.160 --> 01:29:00.840 Patrick Willems was rescued from a deserted island in the Gulf of Mexico. 01:29:00.840 --> 01:29:05.840 Should we be concerned that our son was nearly involved in a global genocide? 01:29:05.840 --> 01:29:10.855 Well, according to that very confusing email that Chloe sent us, 01:29:10.855 --> 01:29:13.255 he wasn't technically our son. 01:29:13.255 --> 01:29:14.935 So we're good parents? 01:29:14.935 --> 01:29:17.420 We're the best parents.95998

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