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1
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:09,680
Hey!
2
00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:11,800
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey!
3
00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:15,320
It's Chri-i-i-i-stmas!
4
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:17,880
What are you talking about?
It's Halloween!
5
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:19,280
Well, nearly Christmas.
6
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,600
Only 55 more sleeps.
7
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,800
Ha! How long has it been now?
8
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,600
What? Oh, four hours 33.
9
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,200
One more minute since
the last time you asked, Kitty!
10
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:33,280
I should be there.
Curse these infernal boundaries!
11
00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,080
Er... What happening?
12
00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,480
They left in the night, Robin.
Alison...
13
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:38,720
PHONE RINGS NEARBY
14
00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:42,480
Shut up, shut up, shut up,
shut up, shut up!
15
00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:44,680
PHONE KEEPS RINGING
16
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,680
ANSWER MACHINE BEEPS
17
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,040
MIKE: Um, hi, everyone.
18
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,400
This feels weird. Can you hear me?
19
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,840
Of course you can, I just can't hear
you. For goodness' sake!
20
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,120
Spit it out, man! Go on!
Shhh, I can't hear him!
21
00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,680
Anyway, Alison asked me to call,
22
00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,520
just to say it's all good,
23
00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,400
mum and baby are doing well. Ahh!
And...
24
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,800
GHOSTS: It's a girl!
25
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:09,320
Here we are, Mia,
this is where we live.
26
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:11,640
Mia! Mia! Hello, Mia!
27
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:15,160
Mia? I thought she was called Bumpy?
Bumpy Cooper?
28
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,920
Alison? Alison?
29
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,080
Oh, SHE's here.
30
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,560
GHOSTS: Hi, Betty.
31
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:22,960
You get your feet up, Alison,
32
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,800
and I'll go and make us all a cup of
tea.
33
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:29,120
And get that heating on, Mike,
warm up this old place. Yes, Mum.
34
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:31,760
Thank you so much!
35
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,800
This is really kind,
you don't have to stay.
36
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:39,200
Nonsense! Just a few days until
you get into the swing of things.
37
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,520
Right, I've sterilised
all the bottles in the...
38
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,560
Where are you off to?
39
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,400
Just for a little walk. Just
for a stroll around the grounds.
40
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,240
Oh, I'll come too!
You don't have to...
41
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,680
It's mild out,
make sure she doesn't overheat.
42
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,360
It's cold out,
make sure Mia has a hat on!
43
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:20,920
MIA CRIES
44
00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:21,960
Shh, it's OK!
45
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,600
Jingle bells, this girl smells
46
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,680
Cos Mia's done a poo!
Haven't you?
47
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,720
HE BLOWS RASPBERRY
48
00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:29,800
It's fascinating to see a father
so involved.
49
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:30,920
Yes!
50
00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:32,360
I changed a nappy once.
51
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,480
Never again.
52
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:37,600
Oh, come along, it can't be
that bad... Oh! Whoa! Hold!
53
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,440
Hold! Ohh!
54
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,560
How did all of that...
come out of that?
55
00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:42,800
It's extraordinary.
56
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:46,160
I won't pretend
I don't have regrets about my life,
57
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:49,200
but this is not one of them, sir!
58
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,440
Accacha poo,
eechappee-chappee-poo,
59
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,480
choo-ee-chappee-choo.
60
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:57,040
Patrick, what on earth
are you doing?
61
00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:58,600
Oh, it's babytalk.
62
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,480
Yeah, they love it,
they find it very soothing.
63
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,800
I mean, you've got to make
the most of it.
64
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,120
Mary always said they stop seeing us
once they can walk.
65
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,720
MIA STARTS CRYING
66
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,080
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, don't...
67
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:14,720
She's probably hungry. I'll feed
her. Cool. Everybody out!
68
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,800
Urgh! Come along! Chop-chop!
69
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,480
Hmm.
70
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,960
Something the matter, Robin?
71
00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:30,200
I dunno. I just don't feel...
Christmassy, you know?
72
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,920
You always called it a fad.
73
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,440
That was before.
74
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:37,080
Since Alison come,
it been my favourite time of year.
75
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:41,280
Well, it's not Christmas Day yet,
so... No, but...
76
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,760
..I normally feel Christmassy by
now.
77
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,320
Well, there aren't as many
decorations
78
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,040
because they're busy with Mia.
Yeah.
79
00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,200
Hmm.
80
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,760
Morning, Thomas. Good day, Alison.
81
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,160
Given the situation with the baby,
82
00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,320
it's only understandable
83
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,640
that preparations would be
compromised this year.
84
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,520
We must make do with
the decorations we have.
85
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,480
What was that about decorations?
86
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:07,840
Was that what? Robin wants more.
87
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,640
Robin want more.
88
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:13,040
Well, I'll ask Mike
to put some more up. What's that?
89
00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:16,480
No, just... I was thinking
out loud
90
00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:20,440
that I think that I should ask Mike
to put up more decorations.
91
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:21,640
Could do.
92
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:22,680
MIA STARTS CRYING
93
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:26,120
Ohhh... I just fed you!
She needs winding.
94
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,840
Hardly surprising with all that
foreign food you eat, Alison.
95
00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:29,960
Come here, I'll take her.
96
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,160
It all gets passed on, you know.
97
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,320
You mark my words,
you need simple foods
98
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,920
like potatoes, bread, fish.
99
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:41,760
Good, fishy milk for her brain,
you see? Here we go.
100
00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:46,400
Well, that'll never work.
Slap her on the back, woman!
101
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:47,440
MIA BURPS
102
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:50,600
Oh. Oh. There she blows.
103
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:54,200
Good girl! Aww!
104
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,560
KITTY BELCHES
105
00:04:58,560 --> 00:04:59,760
Urgh!
106
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:03,120
What on earth has come over you,
Kitty?
107
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,240
Well, you all loved it when she did
it!
108
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,680
I'll just...
I'll go and get the decorations.
109
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,960
Yes, yes, yes...
110
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:19,960
Are you OK, Thomas?
Pleeease. You have to stop!
111
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,560
You have a baby now, Alison.
112
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,520
We cannot carry on as
if nothing has happened. But-
113
00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,720
Everything has changed, Alison.
114
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,680
We must contain ourselves.
115
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,000
If not for Michael,
116
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,400
for the wee bairn.
117
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,920
OK.
118
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,040
Think of the child, Alison!
119
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,760
DOORBELL RINGS
120
00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:53,480
There you are, Alison!
It's so nice to get a moment to...
121
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:57,200
Hi. Thank you. Yes!
122
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,440
What's that? Mike's present.
123
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,120
I got him these rare trainers
that he wanted.
124
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,880
I don't think those will fit him.
125
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,160
I got a child's ten.
126
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:11,480
Anyway, I was thinking we could...
127
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:12,880
Kitty, I'm really sorry,
I've just...
128
00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,160
I'm gonna have to sort this out.
129
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:16,240
Arghh!
130
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,920
Whoa! God, I need a coffee.
131
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:26,000
Hang on, am I allowed another one?
132
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,080
Well, it does affect
the breast milk.
133
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,280
This is why you need a wet nurse,
Alison.
134
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:32,000
You could eat
and drink what you like.
135
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,760
You've gone and made yourself
a human dairy farm.
136
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:37,920
OK, well, I think that maybe
I'll have a herbal, then, instead.
137
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,080
Good girl.
138
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,240
Where are the teabags?
139
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,920
I moved them to the dresser.
140
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:44,560
Closer to the spoons.
141
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,080
Well, I mean they were...
they were closer to the kettle,
142
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:48,720
but no, yeah, no, that makes sense.
143
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,360
I'll have a bigger sort-out
another day. Hm-hmm.
144
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,200
BETTY HUMS TO HERSELF
145
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,880
Dad must be missing you.
146
00:06:56,880 --> 00:07:00,040
Oh, he's probably glad
I'm not there to nag him.
147
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,680
I know he'll miss his mince pies.
148
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,320
Are you gonna give him some?
That batch?
149
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,560
Whilst they're fresh?
150
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,520
I'm here as long as you need me.
151
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:13,440
Yeah. Yeah, about that...
152
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,760
And somebody needs their nap.
153
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,440
Yeah, I am tired.
154
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:19,000
Oh, you mean Mia.
155
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,800
I've got it, I've got it.
156
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,600
I've got her.
157
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,400
Yes, yes, you're sleepy.
158
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:31,800
ALISON HUMS THE FIRST NOEL
159
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,520
Are you gorgeous? Yes.
160
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,480
Yes, you're gorgeous.
161
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,320
Mummy loves you.
162
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,360
Yeah! Yeah.
163
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,040
MIA BABBLES
164
00:07:56,320 --> 00:08:00,960
All right, that's all right.
That's OK. Come here. Yeah.
165
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,480
MIKE: There we go.
166
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,720
GHOSTS: Oh! Oh, yes, isn't that
lovely!
167
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,720
JULIAN: Huh? Huh?
168
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,400
Now you feel Christmassy?
169
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,520
Nope.
170
00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,400
What's missing, Robin?
171
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:19,560
How you mean?
172
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:22,520
We need to work out what puts
you in the Christmas mood.
173
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,800
It's different for everyone,
you see.
174
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:28,040
For me, it was always
the smell of the mulled wine.
175
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,640
Oh, dear, Mia's awake.
176
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,000
She's cooing away at something.
Hmmm.
177
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:35,360
Prepping the pud-pud with Mumsy.
Stir-up Sunday.
178
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,440
It was never really Christmas for me
until the office party,
179
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:41,040
or rather the after-party,
when a few of us would go upstairs
180
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:44,520
and have a jolly good...
181
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:47,840
Orjee-borgee-jobby-jobby!
Ajobby-jobby-joo-joo.
182
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:52,520
You try. Huh? Well, I...
183
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:53,880
OK.
184
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,440
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
185
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:59,200
Dabbah dabbah dabbah, dabbah dabbah
dah...
186
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:03,160
What? No! It's got to be
more melodic, you know,
187
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:06,200
like acccha-poo-choo,
poo-choo-gaga-gee!
188
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,240
Right.
189
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:10,240
Daba-daba-daba, dee-daba-daba...
190
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,520
What are you doing? What?
Ah... No, it was Patrick.
191
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,200
I... I just put her down,
192
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,360
and you're exciting her
when she needs her sleep.
193
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,320
Yeah, no, we should go. Erm...
194
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:22,040
No, it's too late now,
she's... she's wide awake. Ah!
195
00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:25,640
Oh, but she's irresistible.
196
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,240
Aren't you? Yes, you are!
197
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:31,720
Yes, you are,
ugga-cubba-jubba-ji-wa-jah!
198
00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:32,880
WATER SPLASHES
199
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,480
Is that nice?
200
00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,320
She's ironed all my tracksuits -
again!
201
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,280
Look, I'm really grateful
that she stayed to help, OK?
202
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,400
I really am, but...
You can say it.
203
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,240
She's driving me mad. Hm!
204
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:50,680
It's not just the baby,
it's like she's taking over.
205
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:53,400
I mean she's moving
stuff in the kitchen,
206
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,680
she's changed
the settings on the thermostat.
207
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:58,880
Really, if you don't say something,
I will - because she can't swim.
208
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,760
What? She can't start swimming yet.
Hiya.
209
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,600
I called the pool and they said,
like,
210
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,680
she has to be three months
at least, so...
211
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:09,280
She's already a water-baby,
aren't you, my darling?
212
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:14,320
Yes! A guji-koo-koo,
a-guji-koo-kooooh!
213
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,120
Hey, that's not bad. Yeah,
that's first class. Mum, erm...
214
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:18,840
Before you start, Mike,
215
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:22,880
I've just been on the phone
with your dad and you were right.
216
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,320
Looks like he needs me to come home.
Oh?
217
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,120
Oh. I'm really sorry.
218
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:29,880
I know it's scary, but I've been
here for what, six weeks?
219
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:30,920
BOTH: Seven.
220
00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:35,560
And he's missing me. He's probably
living on takeaways. Oh, gosh.
221
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:38,240
Well, we're going to miss you too.
Yeah!
222
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:42,040
Maybe I should ask him to come
here instead? No!
223
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,920
Definitely don't. We'll manage.
224
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:45,560
We'll manage! No, no need for that.
225
00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:47,600
That's... Who's going to feed
the cats, Mum?
226
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:48,720
We'll manage. We will.
227
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:53,480
BETTY: I'm going to miss you, little
one. Yes.
228
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:14,400
Argh.
229
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,240
Everything all right, Alison?
230
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,880
Oh, erm, I just...
231
00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:21,600
I ordered Mike these trainers
that he really wanted for Christmas
232
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:25,280
and they were the wrong size and now
everywhere's sold out, so...
233
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,280
Oh, that's all right,
I got him those.
234
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:29,720
Oh, great.
235
00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:31,480
BETTY CHUCKLES
236
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:48,440
150 yards, a seven iron, I think,
yeah!
237
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,960
LADY BUTTON: Julian! I need you!
238
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,760
She's left the blanket off, look!
239
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,880
The poor child will freeze.
All right, all right, all right.
240
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:16,960
Haunted?
241
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,400
Mum, it's... it's... Well...
242
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:23,360
The truth is... erm...
243
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:28,800
The truth is...that it's a creaky
old house
244
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,520
and, yeah, if you're not used to it,
245
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,040
it can feel a little creepy,
especially at night.
246
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:36,280
But...there aren't any ghosts.
247
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:37,400
KITTY: Well, there are.
248
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:41,200
I saw a figure in a dress,
on the monitor.
249
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,440
And the blanket moved itself.
250
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:47,000
Please, Mum, don't worry, it's fine.
251
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,800
I know what I saw.
I'll...
252
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:53,680
I'll stay up there with her.
I'm going to bed anyway.
253
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:55,680
Well, I ain't going anywhere.
254
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:58,520
I'm not leaving my granddaughter
in this haunted house.
255
00:12:58,520 --> 00:12:59,920
I'm going to unpack.
256
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,320
Evening, everybody.
257
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:04,360
What's up, guys?
258
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,640
What?
259
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:10,200
We just need to convince her
there aren't any ghosts.
260
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,600
But there are.
261
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:15,080
But she doesn't know that. She does.
262
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:18,840
No, but...that could have been
anything.
263
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,800
You want to gaslight my mum?
264
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,680
Yeah, I want to gaslight your mum.
265
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,160
I'm almost surprised you'd never
seen it before,
266
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,800
it happens all the time. Look,
if you just keep watching...
267
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:33,760
JULIAN STRAINS
268
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:37,440
See! You probably saw it
flicker in your peripheral vision
269
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:40,920
and it looked like something moving.
Hmm.
270
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:44,040
It doesn't explain the blanket,
though.
271
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,360
MIA CRIES
272
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,000
No, no, no, no, no.
Step no further.
273
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,440
Alison was very clear. She doesn't
want to see Fanny on camera.
274
00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:01,720
Operation Bye Bye, Betty.
Well, why aren't we involved?
275
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,840
Well, she only needed the, um...
276
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,600
Ghosts with skills, yeah, rub it in.
277
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,800
And you can stop right there,
Thorne!
278
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,240
You leave Alison alone,
she's very busy.
279
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:14,080
Good for her,
it's no business of mine.
280
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,160
What? I'm no home-wrecker.
281
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:19,440
It's over between me
and Alison, I've moved on.
282
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:20,520
Oh, really?
283
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:23,160
What, to someone new? Yes! Who?
284
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,120
And I'll tell you who.
285
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:32,240
A certain Ms Jennifer Aniston.
286
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,480
Rachel from Friends?
And so much more.
287
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,320
Jen is an artist, an icon
288
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:38,800
and a powerful businesswoman,
289
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:42,040
so, yes, I think
I do love her, thank you very much.
290
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:48,440
So, erm, so I'm thinking
that the breeze just blew in...
291
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:51,920
The window was closed, Alison.
No, but... Well...
292
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,440
The draft can still get in
because it's the old window frames.
293
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,920
Like, we can't afford to replace
them,
294
00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,120
so the wind still gets in.
295
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,680
There, you see?
296
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,160
Waaaa!
297
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,800
Wooowaaa!
298
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:13,600
Hmm.
299
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:16,080
There you are. Huh?
300
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,120
Feeling Christmassy yet?
301
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:21,480
No. Great! Because I've got an idea.
302
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,680
Music.
303
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,040
That's what always gives me
a Christmas tingle.
304
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:28,240
McCartney, Wizzard,
Bing for the nanas.
305
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,680
Bring your bananas?
306
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,880
Christmas hits!
You must have a favourite?
307
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,040
It's an old house.
308
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,160
Dodgy electrics.
309
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,440
Draughty windows. But...
310
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,040
You don't need to worry about Mia,
Mum. We're all good.
311
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,800
MERRY XMAS EVERYBODY BY SLADE PLAYS
ON STEREO
312
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,560
Oh, good lord!
313
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:47,360
That...is the stereo.
314
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,400
Erm, I put the stereo on a timer
when we go out
315
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:50,800
so it sounds like we're in.
316
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:56,200
But you've not gone out
since Mia was born. Yeah, I...
317
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,240
I was cleaning there earlier,
and I must have turned the dial.
318
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,560
Silly Daddy!
319
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,160
So here it is...
320
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:07,320
Huh? Huh?
321
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:08,920
Yeah, I like the song.
322
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,800
And I love the dance.
323
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,200
I just don't feel very...
324
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,080
Shut it down! Shut it down!
Shut it down! Shut it down!
325
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,280
Oh, yeah. Down!
326
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:19,800
HE STRAINS
327
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:23,040
I should turn that off,
because it's set to last an hour.
328
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:24,080
MUSIC SWITCHES OFF
329
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:27,840
Or was it? Hmm.
330
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:30,760
I can tell when you're lying,
Michael. I'm not lying.
331
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,160
CAPTAIN CLEARS HIS THROAT
332
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,160
ROBIN AND PAT: Sorry, Alison.
333
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,120
What they said.
334
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:41,360
Betty, if it was a...
poltergeist or whatever,
335
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:45,520
you'd think it would do worse
than playing with the stereo.
336
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,800
Well, maybe that's how it starts.
337
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,120
OK, well, look. OK...
338
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,120
If there is something in this
room...
339
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,880
..give us a sign.
340
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,800
CAPTAIN CLEARS HIS THROAT AGAIN
341
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:05,920
See? There's...
342
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,040
There's nothing... Oh!
343
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,240
Oh, my God!
344
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:11,080
I was putting the decorations
up yesterday,
345
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,200
and I must have not put it
on the hook properly! Mum!
346
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,720
Was that a ghost? No, that was you.
347
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:17,760
Mum!
348
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:21,920
So that went well.
349
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,120
How are we gonna convince...
I don't know.
350
00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:27,000
I'm too tired to even think.
351
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,800
Can I just sleep? Of course, yeah.
352
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,280
Yes!
353
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,200
VEHICLE APPROACHES
354
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,760
Betty? Thank you for coming
so quickly, Reverend.
355
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,280
Well, I was heading out anyway
356
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,480
to get the nativity display
out of storage
357
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:50,000
and you sounded rather distraught,
358
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,720
so I didn't want to leave
you in a state. Come in.
359
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,080
I must say, it's a
most unusual request.
360
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,080
I've never been asked before.
But you can do it?
361
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,680
Well, yes, it is a thing.
362
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:08,080
It's just, certainly no one
I know has ever been asked...
363
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,240
Father?
364
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,600
Good evening, Michael.
365
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,760
What are you doing here?
366
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:16,000
He's here to perform an exorcism.
367
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,560
Huh? Oh! Great.
368
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,160
I'll just get my prayer book.
369
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,720
MIKE WHISPERS: Ghosts!
If you can hear me,
370
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,280
there's a vicar here to do
an exorcism.
371
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,840
Get out! I know you can't leave,
but...
372
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:38,160
I don't know! Ghosts! Are you there?
373
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,360
Home-raised chicken
and plenty of good British veg...
374
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,880
Betty's brought the pastor.
375
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,960
Pasta? Well, that's not
very Christmassy.
376
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,280
No, no, no, the reverend!
The vicar!
377
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,560
He's here to perform an exorcism!
378
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,840
My goodness, what will we do?
379
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:04,560
Maybe it's all right.
380
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,520
It's demons that they're after,
isn't it?
381
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:10,680
You know, evil spirits
who do harm to the living.
382
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,640
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!
383
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:18,200
Yeah, maybe we should...
384
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,040
Let's get out of here! Quick!
Come on!
385
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:24,440
Wait! Where's Humphrey? Oh!
386
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,160
The other bit!
387
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:32,760
If there are any spirits
here in this house, do not hide,
388
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:36,400
we call on you to hear God's word.
389
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,920
Humphrey! Humphrey! Humphrey!
390
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,800
Guys, down here!
391
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,280
There! Quick!
Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!
392
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:47,800
Come on. Quickly, Thomas!
Oh, thank goodness.
393
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:51,160
Visit, Lord, we pray, this place,
394
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:56,200
and drive far from it
the snares of the enemy...
395
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,600
Alison! Alison!
396
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:58,960
What? Is it Mia? No, she's fine.
397
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,760
It's Mum,
she's brought the vicar round.
398
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:04,160
What? Why? He's doing an exorcism.
What?
399
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,000
It can't work, can it?
400
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,280
I don't know.
401
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,400
Because you have made
the Lord your refuge,
402
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,280
there shall no evil happen to you,
403
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,280
for he shall give his angels
charge over you.
404
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,160
There shall no evil happen to you,
405
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,880
for he shall give his angels
charge over you.
406
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:29,840
BOTH: There shall no evil happen to
you...
407
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:33,800
..for he shall give his angels
charge over you.
408
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,760
Through Jesus Christ our Lord.
BOTH: Amen.
409
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:44,560
There's nothing to
worry about now, Alison.
410
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,360
The house is clean.
411
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:48,720
Thank you, Reverend.
412
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,800
Well, there's a first
time for everything, eh?
413
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,360
ROBIN: Alison?
414
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:12,280
Has he gone?
415
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,560
Honestly, I'm just pleased
you're reassured.
416
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,120
I can't thank you enough, Reverend.
417
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,360
God bless and Merry Christmas.
418
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:20,760
Merry Christmas to you too!
419
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:27,240
MUSIC PLAYS: Hark!
The Herald Angels Sing
420
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,160
Wow! That's magical.
421
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,920
Now you feel Christmassy?
422
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:36,600
No.
423
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,640
Happy now? Yes.
Shall I help you pack?
424
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,840
Well, I think
I'm gonna stay a little bit longer,
425
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:51,400
just to make sure that it worked.
Mum!
426
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,760
He said himself that he'd never
done it before, so... Betty, Betty!
427
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:55,840
Can I say something?
428
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,000
We need to be on our own now.
429
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,480
You've been so generous,
and we've...
430
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,800
..we've learned so much from you.
431
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:09,520
But we need to find our own
way as a family.
432
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:11,280
And I'm sure we'll make
lots of mistakes
433
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,800
and we won't know what we're doing
sometimes... but...
434
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,760
..but we'll come to you for advice.
435
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,360
When you need it. Of course.
I'm sorry.
436
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:25,960
Do you understand?
You're a great mum.
437
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,200
Thanks.
438
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,680
And we'll see you at yours
Christmas Day?
439
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,440
Or you can stay till new year
if you like.
440
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:36,520
No, just Christmas Day is fine.
Yeah.
441
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,800
CAR DRIVES AWAY
442
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,800
Oh, that's a relief.
443
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,080
Just us now.
444
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,960
Mission accomplished.
445
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,920
Yes, no more meddling in-laws.
446
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:53,040
Now, you must wake Mia for a good
long feed so she sleeps through.
447
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,440
Otherwise she'll be wailing
the house down
448
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,240
at goodness knows what hour.
Pot/kettle, anyone?
449
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:00,760
Alison, could I sing her a lullaby
while she feeds?
450
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,280
Something soothing like,
451
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,320
Close your eyes, Mummy doesn't
care about anyone else but you...
452
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,680
I can't believe that nativity scene
didn't do it, Robin.
453
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,080
If I don't feel it, I don't feel
it. Oh, who am I kidding?
454
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:13,040
I don't love Jennifer Aniston,
it's you I love, Alison.
455
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,600
GHOSTS ALL CLAMOUR AT ONCE
456
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,800
And it always will be! My...
457
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,200
GHOSTS FALL SILENT
458
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:25,680
We're as bad as Betty.
459
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,360
What's Daddy doing?
What's Daddy doing?
460
00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:35,440
A wiggle wiggle wiggle!
461
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,560
You wanna go see Daddy?
462
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,480
Come here. Yeah! Yeah, you do. Yes!
Oh!
463
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,880
MIKE BLOWS RASPBERRIES
464
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,720
ALISON LAUGHS
465
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,200
Knock, knock.
466
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,640
Oh, guys, can this...
467
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:54,880
Can this wait until I...
468
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,560
Don't worry, Alison, we're not here
to ask for anything.
469
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:58,960
Or to meddle, no.
470
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:04,240
We have assembled here because
we would like to make a proposal.
471
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:06,560
Right.
472
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:11,200
When you first arrived here,
I thought you were a prostitute.
473
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,000
Yeah, you did.
474
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,080
You said that before. Did I?
Yeah!
475
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:19,240
I did,
but I've come to think of you...
476
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,000
..as my own daughter.
477
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,440
Granddaughter, surely?
478
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,240
And even that's pushing it!
479
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:28,920
Look, the point is, we're family.
480
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,600
We all feel that way.
481
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:35,160
And your family love you,
of course, but...but...
482
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,040
They can be a pain.
483
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:38,720
Even when they don't mean to be.
484
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:42,640
Because...they just can't help
being who they are.
485
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:45,840
And you need to be your own family
now.
486
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,000
I don't quite follow.
487
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,240
Like you say to Betty,
488
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,440
you got to find your own way.
489
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:57,040
The last thing you need is constant
interference
490
00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:02,640
from a gaggle of uncles and aunties
and grannies and pets.
491
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,880
Hey, that offensive. Sorry.
492
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,600
What are you saying?
493
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:09,040
We can't leave, Alison.
494
00:25:11,120 --> 00:25:13,480
But you can.
495
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,760
No. But we...we turned down the
offer to, to sell the house.
496
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:19,160
So it's... It's too late.
497
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:23,720
Believe me, if it was good business,
they'll still want it.
498
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,920
Why did I vote for this? I hate it!
499
00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:29,680
Think of Mia.
500
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,800
Think of Mike.
501
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,280
It's for the best.
502
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:47,440
Mike...
503
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,200
INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION
504
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,600
What have we done?
505
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,960
Maybe they'll decide to stay.
506
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:57,160
They won't, Kitty.
507
00:25:58,280 --> 00:25:59,840
We did the right thing.
508
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,400
Thanks, guys.
509
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:10,880
Oh.
510
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,120
What is it, Robin?
511
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:14,800
I feel...
512
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,080
..Christmassy.
513
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,360
Ha, ha! There you go.
514
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,720
This one's for you.
515
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:33,560
Have yourself a merry little
Christmas...
516
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:36,720
ROBIN: I know what it is now.
517
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:39,880
It's so simple.
518
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,400
It wasn't the decorations.
519
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,880
Or the music.
520
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:53,480
No, that not what Christmas about!
521
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,880
Not really.
522
00:26:55,880 --> 00:27:01,760
Have yourself a merry little
Christmas...
523
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:05,040
The most Christmassy
feeling in the world...
524
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,440
..is when you give somebody a gift.
525
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:15,560
A gift you know
they will always remember.
526
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:29,800
Once again, as in olden days
527
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,840
Happy golden days...
528
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,600
Oojie-googie-googie-googie,
529
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,120
poochie-googie-poochie,
530
00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:37,800
gaboochie-gaboochie-chee.
531
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:44,560
Faithful friends
who are near to us
532
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:51,800
Will be dear to us once more
533
00:27:53,640 --> 00:28:00,640
Someday soon
we all will be together
534
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:07,240
If the fates allow...
535
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,760
Merry Christmas, lovely to see you
as always.
536
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,320
I have your usual room ready
and waiting for you.
537
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:27,800
So have yourself
a merry little Christmas...
538
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:31,600
ALISON: Hi, guys. Merry Christmas!
539
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:34,040
Of course we can, Kitty.
540
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,840
Thank you, Thomas, you flatter me.
541
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:40,080
What's new?
542
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,160
Julian...
543
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,320
ALISON LAUGHS
544
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:51,320
I'll never get tired of this.
545
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:54,920
No, so nice. Lovely.
Wouldn't change it for the world.
546
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,200
I think I can
feel my pores opening up!
547
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,840
OTHERS AGREE
548
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:01,400
SNORING
549
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,400
Mick! Is he gone?
550
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:04,720
He's just relaxed.
551
00:29:04,770 --> 00:29:09,320
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