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1
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,400
♪ ♪
2
00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:19,360
(gasps)
3
00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:27,040
Just don't... talk too much
4
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,320
or try to pretend you know
anything about the company.
5
00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:31,440
-Okay.
-And don't be funny
or clever or--
6
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:33,120
Just don't be
the center of attention.
7
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,760
These people
are very important to me,
8
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:36,080
-so just don't...
-Okay.
9
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,960
...don't be yourself.
10
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,880
I won't.
11
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:43,600
(farting)
12
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,600
For fuck's sake.
13
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:48,320
(laughing quietly)
14
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:50,320
I know people in this building.
15
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,640
-Anyone could come...
-(elevator bell dings,
doors open)
16
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,520
Hi, Claire.
17
00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:56,880
Hello, Leslie.
18
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:58,880
(doors close)
19
00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:00,920
(elevator humming quietly)
20
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:05,920
Ooh, that's lovely.
21
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,080
What is that?
22
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,200
We have a load of vegetarians,
23
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so make sure it's clear
which ones have meat in them.
24
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,200
-Loves a crisis.
-We have a couple of waitresses
for the drinks,
25
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,760
-so if you could hand
round the food.
-Mm-hmm.
26
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,360
Put her in a quiet room
with a nice breeze,
27
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,000
-she'll have a panic attack.
-Where is everyone?
28
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:21,280
She's so happy.
29
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,520
God, this is stressful.
30
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,760
Don't be weird about
how big my office is.
31
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:27,480
FLEABAG:
What the fuck?!
32
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,080
-CLAIRE: I know.
-Are you a...
33
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,720
It's over the top.
I know. Okay.
34
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:33,520
Put them on the table.
Not that table.
35
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,320
-Oh. You okay?
-Of course. It's just,
36
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:37,680
it's just, it's a big night,
37
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,200
and the Finnish partners are
here, so it's all a bit...
38
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,520
-Oh, check the award.
-(exhales) Why?
39
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,880
Just to make sure it's not pink
or anything horrifically female.
40
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,080
She'll loathe that.
41
00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,120
Be careful with it.
It's worth thousands.
42
00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:49,720
-It's not pink.
-Good.
43
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,520
It's perfect.
It looks like a sperm.
44
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,360
-Your hair looks nice.
-Shut up.
45
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,120
Okay-- Don't sit on that.
46
00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,080
Okay, put those
on the posh plates.
47
00:01:58,120 --> 00:01:59,080
Put the award
behind the microphone.
48
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,560
Oh, and, um...
49
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,200
(clicks tongue)
50
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,800
Thank you.
51
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,600
You've really, uh...
52
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,000
Thank you.
53
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,440
Don't play with that.
54
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:21,600
Oh, wow, it's heavy. Ah!
55
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,320
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
56
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:29,800
My God.
57
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,120
(panting)
58
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,600
(bell tolling)
59
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,400
♪ ♪
60
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:42,440
(panting continues)
61
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,400
(indistinct chatter)
62
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,560
(exhales)
63
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,480
-Where have you been?
-Oh, sorry.
64
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,640
I just had to get the vegetarian
bites. But it's all fine.
65
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,560
-You're gonna love them.
-You're sweating so much.
66
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,280
-Sorry.
-It's attention-grabbing.
67
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,680
It's only on one side.
(exhales)
68
00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:20,240
Um, sorry, this is, uh, Sylvia.
69
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,040
She's going to be
presenting the award,
70
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,520
so when you hear me
introduce her, get her onstage.
71
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,720
-Hi.
-Has this got shellfish in it?
72
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,480
-No.
-Fine.
73
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,520
Four CEOs have been fired.
Two are being taken to court.
74
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,920
I mean, it's just sad.
We felt like a family.
75
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,240
Yeah. Especially sad when
you have to tell your family
76
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,640
not to touch each other up
by the photocopier. (chuckles)
77
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:40,440
(laughter)
78
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,080
Stop making jokes.
79
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,880
-I'm sorry. I can't help it.
-You can.
80
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:46,880
Oh, Belinda's coming.
Don't speak to Belinda.
81
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,920
-Hello, Claire.
-Hello, Belinda.
82
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:51,920
-God, you're tasteful.
-Mm.
83
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,640
Ooh, are these meaty?
84
00:03:57,880 --> 00:03:59,720
Say something.
85
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,320
Um, no, I think
they have courgette in them.
86
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,160
Oh, I love courgette.
87
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:07,160
(chuckles): You can treat them
appallingly and they still grow.
88
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,600
-She seems lovely.
-Yeah, she's great.
89
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,080
So who are you so nervous about?
90
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:16,880
I'm not nervous.
I'm being completely...
91
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,800
-Claire! (chuckles)
-Oh!
92
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:20,480
-Hi. Oh!
-Oh, wow.
93
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:22,800
Oh, sorry. I-I'm-I'm so glad
you could come.
94
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,600
-Of course. It's my job.
(chuckles)
-Ah.
95
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,440
This is my catering.
She's the sister.
96
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:27,680
-Hi.
-Ah. (chuckles)
97
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,360
I ate a sausage over there,
thinking it was a prune.
98
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:31,440
-Oh.
-(chuckles)
99
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,000
15 years of vegetarianism, gone.
100
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,080
Like bang, bang.
101
00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:35,200
-Oh.
-(laughter)
102
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:36,600
We do actually call them
"bangers."
103
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,360
-Ah! That's funny! (laughs)
-(laughs)
104
00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,040
Yes, it was.
105
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,560
So, how do you two
know each other?
106
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:44,440
-Uh, we're partners.
-Uh, we are partners.
107
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:46,440
-Um, business partners.
In, um...
-Yes. She's been working
108
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,680
-with me in Finland, and, uh...
-Yes.
109
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,800
-We don't get to see each other
that much, but I'm...
-No, exactly.
110
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,360
-I'm a huge...
-I'm a big fan.
111
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,360
-Thank you. Admirer.
-(chuckles softly)
112
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,640
I'm going to get a drink.
Do you want anything?
113
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,440
Oh. Uh, champagne, please.
114
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:03,240
-Oh. (chuckles) Off the wagon?
-(chuckles)
115
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,560
Oh, just when I'm with you.
116
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,440
(chuckling)
117
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,000
Let's go fucking crazy
tonight, then.
118
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:09,920
-(chuckles)
-Hmm?
119
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,560
What did you say?
120
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,600
No, no. I, um, I was...
121
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,440
-No, what did you say?
-Oh, just, uh,
122
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:16,720
-uh...
-(chuckles)
123
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,080
I just said, "Let's go fuck
like crazy tonight."
124
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,320
Oh, God. Uh...
125
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:24,800
-Okay!
-(both laughing)
126
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,320
(chuckles nervously)
127
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,400
(shuddering exhale)
128
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,640
Shut up.
129
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,520
(laughs):
Oh, my God.
130
00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:38,240
He is a very good businessman.
He's just socially sort of...
131
00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:39,800
-And what's, um... (chuckles)
-Shut up.
132
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,000
-Claire.
-Please don't. Please don't.
133
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:43,000
-I can't cope. Okay?
-Okay.
134
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,800
Okay.
135
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:46,120
What's his name?
136
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,640
What's his name?
137
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,160
Klare.
138
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,320
What?
139
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:57,720
His name is Klare.
140
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,600
-Don't.
-Mm.
141
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,400
Oh, God, I have to announce.
Okay, mingle.
142
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:04,880
-But don't talk to anyone.
-Okay.
143
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,360
I'm not in love with him.
144
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,400
Okay.
145
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,880
Hi, everyone.
146
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:18,120
I am very proud
to announce the nominees
147
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,640
for the Women
in Business Awards,
148
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,200
sponsored by us here at Hurbots.
149
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,360
Amongst our exceptional women,
150
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,560
we have Georgina Franks.
151
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:27,760
(applause)
152
00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,200
Belinda Friers.
153
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,640
And another extraordinary woman,
154
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,640
Klare Korhonen.
155
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:42,360
Oh, uh, sorry. I-I think
there's been a mistake here.
156
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,520
I-- And, uh, Elizabeth Sawkin.
157
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,760
Congratulations to you all.
Have a wonderful evening.
158
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,320
We will be presenting the award
very soon.
159
00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:55,960
-I'm gonna introduce Sylvia,
who's gonna introduce Belinda.
-Uh-huh.
160
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,920
When you hear me introducing
Sylvia, get her onstage.
161
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,000
-It has to go like "cockwork."
-Like what?
162
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,480
"Cockwork."
163
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,040
Claire, your brain
is somewhere else right now.
164
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,320
Just-- Sylvia. Go.
165
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:06,960
Sylvia.
166
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,200
(vomiting)
167
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,400
(quietly):
Crap.
168
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:17,000
A huge thanks to Matthew,
Mark Luke and John
169
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:18,880
for coming up with this award,
170
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:22,520
and to LinkedIn for connecting
us all this evening and beyond.
171
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:26,200
I am so excited
to introduce Sylvia Hamber,
172
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,440
this year's winner
of Women Who Work,
173
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,560
-(mouthing)
-who will announce this year's
174
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,680
-Best Woman in Business. Sylvia.
-(applause)
175
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,520
-(mouthing)
-MAN: What an entrance!
176
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,680
(mouthing)
177
00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,880
I'll do it.
178
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:48,880
(quietly):
I can do it.
179
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:51,320
(clears throat)
Um, I'm sorry.
180
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,480
It appears that Sylvia is busy,
181
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:56,480
which shouldn't come
as a surprise, really.
182
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,240
Uh...
183
00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:01,560
It's-it's been a big year
for business.
184
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,760
Particularly women in business.
185
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,880
Men have been pretty hands-on
the past few decades.
186
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,440
(Fleabag laughs)
187
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:12,240
I'd like to thank
all the brilliant men and women
188
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,400
for supporting each other
here at Hurbots.
189
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,240
We're a-a family, really.
190
00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,400
And if we've learned anything
during the past 12 months,
191
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,840
it's that family really
shouldn't touch each other up
192
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,040
next to the photocopier.
193
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,760
(laughter)
194
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,440
(mouths)
195
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,440
I am honored
to present this award
196
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:33,960
to this year's
Best Woman in Business...
197
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,640
Belinda Friers.
198
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,640
-(cheering, applause)
-Fuck's sake!
199
00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:03,760
Thank you, thank-thank you.
(chuckles)
200
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:06,120
Well, um...
201
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,840
Well, I was going to say
this is a bit on the nose,
202
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,480
-but she doesn't seem
to have one.
-(laughter)
203
00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,480
-What were you thinking?
-It'll be fine.
204
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:17,360
It's not fine. I awarded her
with a pair of tits.
205
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,000
Chase her down.
206
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,760
-Chase her down?
-It's a stolen piece of art.
207
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,160
I will deal
with the photographer.
208
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,320
-KLARE: Claire!
-Oh!
209
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,760
Oh, my God, you were brilliant.
210
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,600
-Thank you, Klare.
-I loved the joke.
211
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,520
-Ah.
-Oh, well, I didn't think
it was that funny.
212
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:33,360
-(chuckles)
-Can you go, my love?
213
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,040
-Oh, I'm just gonna...
-Take the stairs.
214
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:36,880
(chuckles):
Okay.
215
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,880
(thunder rumbling)
216
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,880
♪ ♪
217
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,760
I'm trained in martial arts.
218
00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,720
It's just the basics,
but it is enough.
219
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,280
I work at Harbots.
220
00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:02,880
Hurbots.
221
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,960
Yes, I ate a courgette
off your tray.
222
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,640
-Yeah.
-It was delicious.
223
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,640
-Thank you.
-What do you want?
224
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,160
That.
225
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,480
I-I need to take
your award back.
226
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,440
-Why?
-It's a stolen piece of art.
227
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:18,880
It's not really an award.
It's all my fault.
228
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,760
-I can explain.
-Is it a long story?
229
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,640
Sort of.
230
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,600
(thunder rumbling)
231
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,600
BELINDA: And she still doesn't
know you have it?
232
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,080
-(both laugh)
-That's glorious.
233
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,960
I think you did exactly
the right thing.
234
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,520
I think you're the only person
who thinks that.
235
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:37,280
God. Women's awards.
236
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,640
Congratulations.
237
00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:41,280
Oh, it's infantilizing bollocks.
238
00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:43,840
Well, don't you think
it's good that...
239
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,640
No. No. It's ghettoizing.
240
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,440
It's a subsection of success.
241
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,200
Ah, it's the fucking
children's table of awards.
242
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,040
-(laughs)
-Why did you go?
243
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,640
Because I'd be
an arsehole not to.
244
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:56,840
BARTENDER:
Ms. Friers.
245
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,560
Thank you, darling.
246
00:10:58,600 --> 00:10:59,920
(smacks lips)
247
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,280
God, she's hot.
248
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:02,720
Yeah.
249
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,240
Are you a lesbian?
250
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,160
-Not strictly. You?
-Mm.
251
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,840
-Mm. Do you like old films?
-Some.
252
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,280
And what's your favorite
period film?
253
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:13,680
Carrie.
254
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,480
(both laugh)
255
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:18,520
God.
256
00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:20,520
God, you are a tonic.
257
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:22,920
What do you do?
Are you a "woman in business"?
258
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:24,160
I run a café.
259
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,360
Oh, good for you.
260
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,240
Did you make the canapés?
261
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,840
-Uh, no, actually, I stole them.
-(laughs)
262
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,000
How old are you?
263
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:37,240
-58. And you?
-33.
264
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,880
Oh. Well, don't worry.
It does get better.
265
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:42,960
-You promise?
-I promise.
266
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:46,360
Listen, I was in an airplane
the other day,
267
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,720
and I realized-- well, I-I mean,
268
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:52,480
I've been longing to say this
out loud, so...
269
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:57,080
Women are born
with pain built in.
270
00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,760
It's our physical destiny.
271
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:04,320
Uh, period pains, sore boobs,
childbirth, you know.
272
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,680
We carry it within ourselves
throughout our lives.
273
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,080
Men don't.
274
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:10,680
They have to seek it out.
275
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,680
They invent all these gods
and demons and things
276
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,520
all so they can feel guilty
about things,
277
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:17,520
which is something we do
very well on our own.
278
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:19,960
Then they create wars
so they can
279
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,800
feel things
and touch each other,
280
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,000
and when there aren't any wars,
they can play rugby.
281
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:27,280
And we have it all going on
in here, inside.
282
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:31,720
We have pain on a cycle
for years and years and years.
283
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:35,360
And then, just when you feel you
are making peace with it all,
284
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,960
what happens?
285
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,480
The menopause comes.
286
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:41,760
The fucking menopause comes,
and it is...
287
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,640
...the most
288
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:49,200
wonderful fucking thing
in the world.
289
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:52,400
And yes, your entire
pelvic floor crumbles,
290
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,760
and you get fucking hot,
and n-no one cares,
291
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:59,280
but then you're free.
292
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,960
No longer a slave,
293
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:04,200
no longer a-a machine
with parts.
294
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,880
You're just a person,
in business.
295
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,880
Oh.
296
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,880
I was told it was horrendous.
297
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:14,880
It is horrendous,
but then it's magnificent.
298
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,680
Something to look forward to.
299
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,720
(chuckles softly)
300
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,720
You better get back
to that party.
301
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:27,040
-Your party.
-Mm. It is not a party
302
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,080
until someone flirts with you.
303
00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,280
And that's the only really
shit thing about getting older
304
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:34,080
is that people don't
flirt with you anymore.
305
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:36,440
Not really. Not with danger.
306
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,720
I miss walking into a room
and not knowing,
307
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:42,320
and there's a sort of energy,
a dare.
308
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,800
And do not take that
for granted.
309
00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:50,480
There is nothing more exciting
than a room full of people.
310
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,800
Yeah, except most people are...
311
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:54,440
What?
312
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,200
Shit.
313
00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:59,000
Oh.
314
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:01,160
Look at me.
315
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,520
Listen.
316
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:05,440
People are all we've got.
317
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:10,000
People are all we've got,
so grab the night by its nipples
318
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,000
and go and flirt with someone.
319
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:15,120
Mm. No, that's not what I meant.
(chuckles)
320
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:20,760
(chuckles softly)
321
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:24,640
Oh. I wish you were my type.
322
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:27,360
You take this tart
back to my party
323
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,560
and go and find someone
to actually do that with.
324
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,360
-I want to do it with you.
-No.
325
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:32,760
(chuckles):
Why not?
326
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,280
-Honestly?
-Yeah.
327
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,080
I can't be arsed, darling.
328
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:40,520
I'm gonna go back to my room
and have one more martini,
329
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,320
and if you need anything,
call me.
330
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,080
Anything.
331
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:48,160
You can have whomever you want
at your age.
332
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,360
Except the Best Woman
in Business.
333
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,960
Well, that's just 'cause
she's... exhausted.
334
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,040
33 isn't exactly...
335
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,080
-And what had Jesus done by 33?
-Died?
336
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,280
Exactly. So get out there
and flirt.
337
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:12,640
Here you are.
338
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:15,040
-Oh, hi.
-Thought you might be
snogging Finland.
339
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,600
Ha. No, I, uh--
340
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:17,880
Just, uh, sorting
a few things.
341
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,440
-I got her.
-Oh.
342
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,760
-And Belinda gave me her card.
-Oh, that's great.
343
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:25,960
-What?
-Nothing.
344
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,800
She's furious.
345
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,520
-Really?
-Yes.
346
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,040
It was a great night.
347
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:32,640
Everything went smoothly
in the end,
348
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,680
and everyone loved the canapés.
349
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,040
Really?
I'm a dead woman.
350
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,080
-Really?
-Yes.
351
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:39,280
Really?
352
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,040
Yes. It was a great night.
353
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,600
She's gonna blow.
I just have a feeling...
354
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,680
I would have come up
with my own joke
355
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,640
if you hadn't put that one
in my head.
356
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,720
I have my own jokes.
357
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,080
I am funny, I am interesting.
358
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,280
I knew I shouldn't have
brought you here.
359
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,120
-What do you mean "interesting"?
-You just think you can do
360
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,440
whatever you like,
say whatever you like,
361
00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,160
steal whatever you like,
kiss whoever you like.
362
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,280
-He kissed me!
-Oh, I know!
363
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,840
You know? Then why have we been
spending the entire...
364
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,200
Because you're fine.
365
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,920
You'll always be fine,
you'll always be interesting
366
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,000
with your quirky café
and your dead best friend.
367
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,000
You just make me feel
like I've failed.
368
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,320
Claire...
369
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:22,080
If you mention the size
of my office, I will scream.
370
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,480
(whispers):
It's huge.
371
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:31,560
I just thought
we were hanging out.
372
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:32,960
Just as friends.
373
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,640
We're not friends.
374
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,720
We are sisters.
375
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:41,680
Get your own friends.
376
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,720
♪ ♪
377
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,640
(doorbell rings)
378
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,360
(exhales)
379
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,120
(door scrapes)
380
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,160
-Oh, hi.
-Oh, sorry.
381
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:04,920
I didn't have your number,
and you just said
382
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,240
come round anytime with G&Ts.
383
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,800
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
I just, uh--
384
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,800
This is a bit embarrassing,
but recently I've been
385
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,520
really enjoying
going to bed at 9:30.
386
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,200
-Oh, shit.
-No, it's fine.
387
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:16,800
I can see G&T--
Are you okay?
388
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,480
Yeah, yeah, I just-just fancied
a drink and a priest
389
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:20,800
and a chat, maybe.
390
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:22,440
Oh, that's my whole job.
391
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,040
-(chuckles)
-We'll have to be quiet though,
392
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:25,280
because Pam's a bit of
393
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:27,440
(whispering):
a sound tyrant in the evenings.
394
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,480
Pam lives here?
395
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,800
Yeah, Pam lives here. Okay.
396
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,040
-FLEABAG: So, I read your book.
-Okay, great.
397
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,880
-Well, it's got
some great twists.
-True.
398
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,560
-Uh, but I just, I couldn't help
but notice...
-Come on, just spit it out.
399
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,440
...just one or two
little inconsistencies.
400
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,280
Okay, sure.
(clears throat)
401
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,080
So, the world was made
in seven days,
402
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:48,080
and on the first day,
light came,
403
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:51,520
and then, a few days later,
the sun came.
404
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,640
Yeah, that's ridiculous.
405
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,800
(laughs):
But you believe that.
406
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,520
But it's not fact.
It's poetry, it's moral code.
407
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,320
It's for interpretation
to help us work out
408
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,320
God's plan for us.
409
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,080
What's God's plan for you?
410
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:07,200
I believe God meant for me
to love people
411
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:09,400
in a... different way.
412
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:12,320
I believe I'm supposed to
love people as a father.
413
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,880
We can arrange that.
414
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,160
(laughs)
A father of many.
415
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,040
-I'll go up to three.
-It's not gonna happen.
416
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,080
-Two, then.
-Okay, two.
417
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,320
(chuckles softly)
418
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,720
(door closes upstairs)
419
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,560
Oh, shit, Pam.
She's not happy.
420
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,800
(whispering):
We should go outside.
421
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:33,080
-Do you think I should
become a Catholic?
-No, don't do that.
422
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,800
I like that you believe
in a meaningless existence.
423
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,560
-(chuckles)
-And you're good for me.
424
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,960
You make me question my faith.
425
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,320
-And?
-I've never felt closer to God.
426
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,040
-(laughs) Fuck you.
-(chuckles)
427
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,760
-(rustling in bushes)
-What was that?
428
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:47,560
-It wasn't a fox, was it?
-I don't know.
429
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,960
Was it a fox?
Shine something. Boo! Baa!
430
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,680
-Oh, God, I bet it's a fox.
-(laughs): Oh, God.
431
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,240
No, I'm not being funny; foxes
have been after me for years.
432
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:55,720
It's like they have
a pact or something.
433
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,920
-(laughing)
-I'm not kidding.
I was on a toilet,
434
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,160
a toilet of a train,
and when the train stopped,
435
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,160
a fucking fox tried
to get through the window.
436
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,320
Of a train!
Its face was in the window.
437
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,320
And once, when I was
at a monastery,
438
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,480
I woke up just feeling
a bit weird,
439
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,880
like there might be a fox about,
and fox was sitting
440
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,760
underneath my window,
looking at me like this.
441
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,320
Pointing at me like,
"You... we're watching you.
442
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:17,640
We're having you."
443
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:19,960
(both laugh)
444
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,800
Lucky God got there first.
445
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,800
-Well, yeah.
-You could be a fox boy by now.
446
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:27,080
-And we all know
what happened to them.
-(laughs)
447
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,040
(panting)
448
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,280
-You okay?
-I'm okay.
449
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,320
Do you think I'm mad?
450
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,000
Because of the fox thing
or 'cause of the God thing?
451
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,880
(laughs)
You're obsessed.
452
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,680
(clears throat)
453
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,760
Do you ever have doubts?
454
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,560
Yes, of course. Every day.
It's part of the deal.
455
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,800
I just don't think
I could do it.
456
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,440
Especially as a...
457
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:55,200
What?
458
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:56,280
-Celibacy and...
-(bushes rustling)
459
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,440
Oh, it's a fucking fox!
460
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:58,800
Chill out about the fox.
461
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,920
Oh, sorry. I just don't know
what they want from me.
462
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,200
(chuckles softly)
463
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,800
Sorry.
464
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:07,880
Celibacy. Go.
465
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,200
I just...
466
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,720
I couldn't give up sex forever.
467
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:18,000
It's just too...
468
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,640
too...
469
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:24,440
Celibacy is
a lot less complicated
470
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:28,080
than romantic relationships.
471
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,880
What if you meet
someone you like?
472
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,080
I talk and drink and laugh
and give them Bibles,
473
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,080
and hope they eventually
leave me alone.
474
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,720
What if you meet
someone you love?
475
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,200
We're not gonna have sex.
476
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,520
(stifled chuckle)
477
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:52,480
I know that's what you think
you want from me, but it's not.
478
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:55,200
It won't bring any good.
479
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,800
-Well, it might.
-(chuckles): It won't.
480
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,760
I've been there many times...
before I found this.
481
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,080
Many, many times.
482
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:04,760
How many times?
483
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,800
(laughs softly)
484
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,080
Many.
485
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,800
I'd really like to be
your friend, though.
486
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,280
I'd like to be your friend, too.
487
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,000
We'll last a week.
488
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:32,640
What was that?
489
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,640
What?
490
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,800
Where'd you,
where'd you just go?
491
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,160
What?
492
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:43,200
You just... went somewhere.
493
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,560
There. There.
494
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,400
-Where'd you just go?
-(chuckles softly)
495
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,440
Nowhere.
496
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,400
Okay.
497
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,440
♪ ♪
498
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:06,800
(both scream)
499
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,840
♪ ♪
33174
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