All language subtitles for Superstore (2015) - S05E06 - Trick-or-Treat (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)_track4_[eng]

.

[indistinct chatter]

- Order.
Order in the store.

[gavel banging]

It's a--it's a judge thing.

all: Ah.

- Anyway,
our new district manager

is gonna be visiting today

so I've thrown together
some fun Halloween events.

First, we're gonna be handing
out goodie bags to the kids.

Uh, Sandra, can you take
the lead on that?

- Yes.

- Glenn and Garrett,
you two are gonna be managing

the haunted house
in the garden center.

- Aww, man, then I won't
get to hear Jonah lecture us

on whatever dumb metaphor
his costume's supposed to be.

- Uh, actually,
I got tired of explaining

my costume every year,
so this year,

I'm just gonna be
a good old-fashioned cowboy.

- We get it.

You're herding us to the polls
because no one here votes.

- No, really, I'm--
- Don't be stupid.

He's obviously toxic
American masculinity.

- Actually, I--I like
that better.

I'm switching to that.

- Um, should we be
selling these?

Didn't they just find another
cut-off foot right around here?

- Oh, it's awful.

I'm an empath so things like
that really affect me.

- I just wish they would catch
the guy already.

- Why are you assuming
it's a guy?

Maybe St. Louis finally
has a female serial killer.

- Oh, yeah.
About time.

Uh, hello,
glass ceiling?

Ya shattered.

- Sorry I'm late.
Sorry.

[all gasping, murmuring]
- Wow.

- Hard to get in my car
in this thing,

but guess who's winning
our costume contest?

- Oh, by the way,

there will be
no costume contest this year.

- What?

- Corporate didn't want
to approve

another racial sensitivity
training.

- TitaIrma spent an hour this
morning sewing me into this.

- You're sewed into that?

How are you gonna use
the bathroom?

- There's actually a lot
of padding in here, so...

[all murmuring in disgust]

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Find skeleton bones
outside on the pavement ♪

♪ And torture chambers down
in the basement ♪

- And we've done
a really good job

of organizing employees
at other stores.

- Oh, I pulled so many digits.

- 'Cause you were in charge

of getting everyone's
contact info.

- Point is, we almost have

enough cards signed
to unionize.

This is great, guys.
We're gonna be a union.

[all cheering]

- [shushing]
- Ooh, this sounds fun.

Did Sayid reach
a new level of Pokémon?

- My girlfriend made me quit.

- We were just talking
about the u...nicorn union.

No, just--just unicorns.

- Um, you guys,
you know I'm pro-union.

Why wouldn't you just tell me
about the meeting?

- We quit telling you weeks ago
because you're management.

I mean, she doesn't
need healthcare.

She's got a drawer full
of Band-Aids in her desk.

- Okay, I paid
for those Band-Aids,

and they're for everybody.

- Can I have one?
- Do you have a cut?

- Ah, see?
There's always a catch.

- Look, the union rep just said
that in order to be safe,

we should probably keep
management

at, like, you know,
a distance,

and obviously you're not, like,
a "manager" manager

or anything, but,
you know, still.

- Oh, you want me to leave.

- Obviously, I don't want that.

I clearly--that's not--
- Really?

'Cause it kinda seems
like you're trying to get me

out of the door but--
- No, no, we're just trying...

- Oh, my God, they're so cute
when they bicker.

- No, no, we're not.
- We're--that's--

- That's--no.

- All right, go ahead.
Have fun in there.

Don't steal anything.

[Halloween music plays
over speakers]

- It's my first Halloween
since the diabetes.

- Mm.

- You're so lucky you
don't have a family.

You could eat yourself
to death and no one would care.

I mean, it's okay.

I guess I'll just be here
all day watching you eat that.

- Works for me.

- You know what?
- Oh!

- I'm just gonna get rid of it,
you know,

to save us from being tempted.
- What?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Whoa!

- No, it's best for both of us,
not to mention this guy.

- Hey, man,
don't touch my tummy!

- Okay, Halloween question.

If anyone in our store
was chopping off feet--

- Glenn.

Well, it's always the churchy
ones who snap first.

- Really?
What about Garrett?

'Cause, you know,
he's a sneaker guy

and you know where people
keep their sneakers.

- Glenn?
Garrett?

Really?

Did you see
those crime scene photos?

That foot was a precision cut.

I'm thinking
a reciprocating meat saw.

- Oh, you've given this
foot chopper a lot of thought.

- Oh, they're not just
cutting off feet.

If you ask me, they're
dismembering whole bodies.

Sure,
they're releasing the feet,

but there's a trophy room
somewhere with heads,

hands, and select genitals.

- You don't think that, uh--
yeah, no.

But do you?

- What, that Dina's
a serial killer?

[laughing] No, no.

I mean, that would be insane.
- Yeah.

- [laughing]
Oh, but also kinda.

- [whispering] Right?

- Well, I just hate having
to be so out of it,

especially now that we're
so close to the finish line.

It's like this union is my baby
and I don't even get

to drop it off at college.

- Our baby.
- Okay, yeah, sure.

I mean, you help, obviously,
and I so appreciate it,

and I love that you have
a connection with the baby.

- Are we still talking
about the--

- The union, yeah. Of course.
- Right, yeah.

Look, it's--it's almost done.
You don't have to worry.

I mean, I'm meeting
with somebody later today

from Fenton to get the last
of the signed cards, and then--

[knocking]
- Knock, knock.

- Oh, hey.
Uh, new DM.

- Yes.
Maya.

- Jonah.
Hi, nice to meet you.

- Hi, nice to meet you, too.

- Amy was just telling me
about some

of her favorite RBG dissents.
- Uh-huh.

Yep, and I said all of them,
so dismissed.

- Okay.

- Amy Sosa.
So nice to meet you.

- You, too.

I just thought it would be
a fun day

to come by and meet you guys

now that I'm taking over
for Laurie.

- Yeah, yeah.

She--she left kind of suddenly,
huh?

Did that have anything
to do with her, um...

Her hobbies?
- You mean her coke habit?

- Oh, um, I--wow. That--
- It's okay.

We're all talking about it.
- Okay.

- At the last retreat,
she was so coked up,

she roundhouse kicked the CEO
into the omelet station.

- No.
- Yeah.

[both laughing]

- Did anybody get
a video of that?

- Girl, I wish!

[both laughing]

No, but seriously,
it's very sad.

- Yeah, no, I really hope
she gets the help she needs.

- Aww, I left my cell phone
in the garden center.

- Well, I'm just
spitballing here,

but maybe you could just go in
and get it?

- Yeah.

Haunted houses are
a little loaded for me.

When I was a kid,

my dad took me
to Skele-Tony's Spook Shack,

and I accidentally let go
of his hand

and I couldn't find my way out
for 45 minutes.

I ended up eating
the spaghetti brains

and grape eyeballs just
to survive.

- So because of that
traumatic snack,

you're too scared to go
into the garden center

that we saw Elias decorate
with crepe paper?

- No, no.
That'd be silly.

Of course I can go in there.

- Mm-hmm.

- But you know what'd
be easier?

I can check
my voicemail remotely.

Go into the store,
use the phone,

dial nine for an outside line,
call my cell phone,

press star,
and then enter my password.

Easy peasy.

- Yeah.

[Halloween rock music]

♪

- I am Maya,
the new DM.

- Hi, I'm Garrett.
Nice costume.

- Yeah, we both know I just
threw on the first thing

that I found in the store,
okay?

- [laughs] Yeah.
Me, too.

[all laughing]
- Excuse me.

- I mean,
that looks pretty elaborate.

- Well, you know,
it was just sitting

in the front of the store,
so I just grabbed it.

- Um, could you excuse me
for just a minute?

- And Crestwood came around--
- Hey!

- [gasps]
Hey, lady!

- Hey!

I saw you walk in
and I thought,

"Is that Kelly?"

'Cause Jonah mentioned
that someone from Fenton

was coming to meet him,
but he didn't say who.

- So yeah, Kelly brought the
union cards so we got Fenton!

Yay!
- Whoo!

- He also didn't mention that
this was gonna be happening

in the store on the same day

that our new district manager
is here,

but I guess this
is your thing now

and it's not really up to me
to make better choices.

- [gasps] Hey, lady!
- Kelly!

Hi.
- [laughing] Oh, hello!

- Oh, no.

You two are wearing
a couple's costume.

both: Oh.
- [blows raspberry]

- I guess it does, uh...
- Well, that's...

...funny.
- Look like that.

- Well, one of you definitely
has to change.

Oh, Kelly, you can switch
costumes with Amy.

Wait, no, that's not gonna work
because Amy's so much bigger.

- Okay, Sandra, we're good
on the costumes.

Thank you.

It's just so funny
that Jonah never mentioned

that you guys
are working together.

- Um, yeah.
I guess I just--

I didn't know
if it was--it'd be weird or--

- Weird?
Why would it be weird?

'Cause it's Kelly?
It's--it's Kelly.

She's my--she's my lady.

The only weird thing is
that you didn't tell me.

- Well, it's not really,

like, a big deal.
- Because I'm already so out of

the loop with the union stuff.
- And plus it was like

a few phone calls--
- So it's kind of a bummer

to find out this way
that the two of you

are raising my baby.

- You guys, I am dying
right now. [laughs]

.

- Oh, wow.
You finally flipped Simon.

- Yeah, I told him that thing
you said about union

being spelled with U and I.

- Oh, you mean the quote he got
from the pamphlet I gave him?

- Here you are.

- Hey.

- Hi. I got to know some
of your people.

- Huh.

- Justine invited me

to her erotic sip 'n' paint.

- You don't want anything
to do with that.

- [laughs]
Kelly?

Kelly, right?

Yeah, I met you
at the Fenton store.

- Uh, yeah.
I'm just...

- She's here because...
- Well, uh...

- They're dating.
- Oh, that's great.

- Yeah, she comes over every
day and--and they have coffee.

Aren't they cute?
- So cute.

- Did you notice
their couples costumes?

- Yep.
She's my cowgirl.

- Ride 'em, cowgirl.
[chuckles]

I mean, like, ride a horse,
not Jonah.

That would be inappropriate
for work.

- Well, I was just about
to grab some coffee anyway.

Why don't we all go?

It's on me.
- That would be so fun.

- [unenthusiastically] So fun.

- Glenn, do you want me
to go in and get your phone?

- I mean, if you're going
in there anyway--

- [exhales] Sure. Okay.

[sighs]

- Haunted house.
Already been in there a ton.

Sick of it.
[chuckles]

Oh, thank God.
How was it?

- [dazed] It was pretty cool.

- Are you crying blood?

- Huh?

Huh.

Yeah, I guess I am.

I'm sure it has nothing to do

with what I just saw
or experienced.

Elias did a great job
with the crepe paper, though.

- D--did you find my phone?

- I--
- Never mind.

- [clears throat]

- So okay, St. Louis talk.

What's this toasted ravioli
everyone's talking about?

- Mmm, T-ravs.
They are great.

You gotta try 'em.

- You should go to Stephano's.

Kelly and I used to go
all the time

and--and still do,
you know, past and present.

- Oh, I've never even heard
of the place.

Which, I mean, makes sense.

There's so much Jonah
doesn't tell me.

- Uh, Kelly does a great,
uh, Stephano impersonation.

- Oh.
All right.

He's like, um,

[in Midwest accent]
"Oh, our toasted ravioli's

been written up
in the pay-per."

[laughs]

And that's it.

Uh, when you do go,

um, you should try out
this gelato place

about a block away.
- Yeah.

- Wow, a second stop
on one date.

Who's got that kind of time,
right?

- Well, when you don't have
kids to come home to, y--

not that having kids is,
uh, bad.

That's--I--I actually wish

I were dating someone
with kids.

- I love this.

You can see why
I come here every day.

[clattering]

- My bad.
I got it.

Oops.

Let me just--excuse me, sir.
You're good, you're good.

- Okay, there's no way Dina's
a serial killer.

She's head of security.
Rules are her life.

- Yeah, and "don't kill" is,
like, such a big rule.

- Plus, she's a vegan, okay?

She doesn't even kill to eat,
which is insane,

because I would totally eat
a lamb alive.

- You're right.

She's the last person
who'd be a serial killer.

[soft music playing
over speakers]

Although, it is always the
last person who you'd think.

[The Cranberries' "Zombie"]

- ♪ In your head

♪ In your head, zombie

- This has been great.
You have a really fun store.

And you two,
hit me up

for the next Stephano's trip,
okay?

- Oh, absolutely.
- Will do.

- Okay, bye-bye.
- Bye.

- So many other reasons I could
have been in this store.

- Sorry. It's the first thing
that came to my mind,

and you're the ones wearing
the same clothes.

- Look, the most important
thing is that at least--

wait, where are the cards?

- Oh, I hid them in one
of those orange bags

when Maya came in.
- You mean the goodie bags?

- There's enough for everyone.
Just form a line.

[screams]
Where are your parents?

.

- It's just a garden center.
It's just a garden center.

Just walking into
the garden center.

- [in proper English accent]
Pardon me, sir.

Are you Glenn Sturgis?

- Yeah.
Why?

- They told me to tell you:
don't go in there.

- [stammering] Who said don't--

who said that do you?
- [shushes]

- Glenn, who you talking to?

- Th--this boy, did you--
he said that I had to--

- What's going on, dude?

- Yeah, I think I'm gonna head
to my car

and read my Bible for a bit.

- Great job.

Didn't ask for the accent,
though.

- It was a swing.
I thought it worked.

- You already gave out
all the bags?

- They were out of control.

I said one per kid,
but Amy,

some took two.

- Hey, uh, let me see
what's in that bag, please.

- No way!
You're, like, 40!

Buy your own candy!

- Hey, that kind of aggression
is exactly why people

are turning on your sport.
Soccer is coming for you!

- Okay. Thank you so much.
Yeah.

- Why are you checking bags?

- Um, because--okay,
here's the deal.

The push for the union
never really stopped,

and so the cards from Fenton
ended up in these goodie bags

and they've all been
given away.

- Oh, wow.
Well, listen.

Company policy states
that I need to report

any union activity
to my manager,

so there's been union activity.

Now that my hands are clean,

I'll go check
the security footage.

- Amazing.
Thank you, Dina.

- Oh, hey, Kelly.

Couple's costume with Jonah?
That's a weird choice.

- It's not a couple's costume.
- It's a coincidence.

- Okay.

- ♪ Dracula was putting on
moon tan lotion ♪

♪ Gnarly dude is what the--

- Hey, Cheyenne,
I need help

going over
some security footage.

- Oh, okay.

- [whispering]
No, you have a child.

I'll go, Dina.

- You don't work
for me anymore.

Cheyenne, come on.

- Let me just call
Bo really quick.

You know,
not to say good-bye or anything

but just to say hey
and good-bye and stuff.

[clattering]

Oh, uh, or you could
take Marcus.

- Whoever.
Marcus!

Security office, now!

- Yep, just give me a second.

If I run too fast,
I become airborne.

- Thank you.
You know, Kelly,

you didn't have
to change your costume.

- And you didn't have to say
I was Jonah's girlfriend,

yet here we are.

- Hey, sorry.

Just took off my costume
real quick.

The cowboy hat was itchy.

- Oh, my God, you two are Danny
and Sandy from "Grease"!

"Summer Lovin'," right?

- Amy, you need to go change
into leather Sandy right now.

- All right,
no bags in housewares.

Are you getting anything,
Marcus?

- I gotta be honest,
about 60%

of my vision's
blocked by the dragon head.

- You're exuding,
like, a wet heat.

- I know.
It's the dragon smoke function.

- Now you're fogging up
the screen.

- I can't control it.
- Oh, this is doing nothing.

It's just moving it around.
- Yeah.

[both coughing]

- Okay, this is it.
There's no one in there now.

Just a chance for me
to face my fears head-on.

- Yes, go for it.
- [screaming]

- Whoa. Okay.
Well...

[key turning]

[clears throat]
Good luck, buddy.

[exhales deeply]

Sorry, haunted house is closed.

- [sighs]
Sorry.

- I think we found the cards.
Well, I found them.

Marcus knocked all my felt tips
on the floor,

some of them lost their caps,

and now it's just a race
against the clock

until they dry out.
- Dina, where are the cards?

- I saw footage
of Maya grabbing

a goodie bag on her way out.
- What?

No!
She left, like, 20 minutes ago.

- Actually, no.

She stopped in housewares
and had what looked like

a very emotional moment
with Brett,

then she went to grocery.

Picked up eggs
and bell peppers.

I think it's
a Denver omelet night.

- Dina, where is she now?

- She just went out
to the parking lot.

- Well, we need to stop her.

- Amy, wait!

Do I still need to be
a part of this?

Because, I hate to keep beating
the same drum,

but the felt tips--
- I'll get you new felt tips!

- I don't want new felt tips!

I have perfectly good
felt tips on my floor!

.

- Sorry.
It's just me.

Not a carjacker.

I didn't mean to startle you.
- It's okay.

- It's just that, um, we need
you back in the store.

- Why?

- Attention, everyone.

Give it up for the winner of
our Halloween costume contest,

Maya!
Whoo, whoo!

[cheers and applause]

- So there is a contest,
and cat ears won it?

- Okay, you don't need
to suck up to the new DM.

- What?
No.

No, girl.
You won.

You look good
and you better get your prize,

which is...

- Which is, uh, this, um,
bottle of Sprite!

- Are you [bleep] kidding me?

[scraping]

- You don't think she's
gonna wait in the back

of someone's car and then--
- No.

But we should probably check
to see if the killer

has a history of breaking
into cars 'cause...

Oh, my God.
They found another foot.

- [gasps]
- Out in Richmond Heights.

- Really?

- [laughs]
Apparently it's fresh.

Some guy's probably bleeding
out as we speak.

- Oh, that's amazing.
It can't be Dina.

We've been watching
her all day.

- Such good news.

I'm so glad the killer
struck today.

Wow. Not that I thought
it was her, but--

- I know.
I mean, she's weird,

but she's not a criminal.
- No.

[both chuckling]

- And look at these cat ears.
Amazing!

I think it says back here they
were, uh, made in Taiwan.

Have you ever been to Taiwan?

- Amy, is there a second place?

Because I am drenched in urine.

- Okay, um,
maybe we wrap this up.

Uh, I am so honored
to receive this Sprite,

especially because
so many of you

had such great costumes here.
You know, like these two.

They had multiple
couples costumes.

Are they cute or what?

- Jonah and Kelly aren't
a couple.

- Yeah,
Jonah's in love with Amy.

- Wait, what?
- What?

I don't know.
That's--

Jonah, is that true?

- It's true.
I love her.

Um, sorry, Kelly.

I--I probably should
have told you

before telling
the entire store,

but I am breaking up with you.

- Okay, it seems like I should
give you guys a little privacy.

- Uh--
- Uh, no, no, no,

because I need to explain more
to you, Kelly.

Uh, you're a great gal,
but, uh,

Amy and I just have
a connection.

- I hate coming
to this stupid store.

- I'm really gonna go now.

- You can't because the costume
contest is not over yet.

And now it's done!

Another round of applause
for Maya the Cat.

[applause]

- Man.
- [sighs]

- Garrett, help!
[banging]

The doors are stuck!

Oh, I should have listened
to that English boy.

Hang on.

[cell phone ringing]

Hey, Garrett.
It's Glenn from work.

Um, first of all,
I found my phone.

Yay.

Uh, anyway,
if you get this,

I am stuck
in the haunted house,

so, um, call me back.
All right, bye-bye.

Help!
Somebody!

[banging]

[glass shattering]
- Oh!

- [breathing heavily]

Honestly, I've seen scarier.

- [groans]
- That was exhausting.

- Yeah, well,
breakups are exhausting.

- Um...

so the cards
are all here.

- Great.

- But also some
empty candy wrappers.

- Okay.

Okay, well--
[stammers]

Let's not panic.

Maybe she just, um, reached in
and grabbed some candy

and didn't see the cards,

or--or maybe those candies
are from somewhere else

and she just ditched
the wrappers in there.

- Or maybe she saw the cards.

- But if she saw the cards,
she would have said something.

- Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, definitely.

Right?

[door opens]

- Hey, so Maya left her Sprite.

- Just take it.
- Yes!

We did it, Tita!
Your boy won!

[quirky music]