All language subtitles for Superstore (2015) - S05E02 - Testimonials (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)_track4_[eng]

.

- So we still don't know
if the raccoons have a key

or if someone is letting them
into the safe.

And finally, good news:

Mateo's bond hearing
has been scheduled.

- Oh, cool.
- Oh, cool, nice.

- His aunt's bringing
his lawyer by

to get a statement
from me today.

- Remember,
anything you say can and will

be used against you
in a court of law.

- Excellent point,
but she's just providing

a character testimony
to help with his case.

- Yeah, all I have to do
is tell him

that Mateo is a vital employee.

- Oh, that's how they get you.

Next thing you know,
they'll be asking you,

"Where were you April 25th?"

and you'll be like,
"I don't know,"

and then they'll be like,
"Well, then,

why are your fingerprints
all over this dead body?"

- Amy, please be careful.
- Yes.

Okay, I will be careful

in case
Mateo's immigration lawyer

wants to frame me for murder.

- Yes.
- Also, uh...

Carol will be out for a few
days due to personal reasons.

- By personal reasons,
do you mean

she had a mental breakdown
when she found out

Sandra and Jerry got engaged?

- Oh, do you think she's
planning to "Gone Girl" Sandra?

- I think she'd have to
"Gone Girl" Jerry.

- What's the one
with the girl on the train?

- "The Girl on the Train."
- Right.

Maybe she's gonna do that
to Sandra.

- Put her on a train?
- Oh, man, could you imagine?

- Sorry I'm late, everybody.
- Oh!

Thank God.
We thought you were on a train.

- Aww, you guys.

You got me a cake?

- No,
those are yesterday's donuts.

- Oh, I thought

Dina was throwing me
a little engagement party,

as, like,
a maid of honor thing.

- Dina's your maid of honor?

- Who else is she gonna ask?

The old lady
who spits at her on the bus?

- Dina, are you throwing
an engagement party?

I have an outfit.

- Absolutely not.

Engagement party is not
a maid of honor duty.

I printed a list
from the Internet.

- Or maybe you just want
the party to be a surprise?

- No.
I do not want that.

I'm telling you,
do not expect a party.

- Right.
I won't expect a party.

- That's what
I just said, Sandra.

Ugh.
Good luck, Jerry.

[upbeat music]

♪

- Amy?
- Ms. Liwanag.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- This is Mateo's
immigration lawyer, Richard.

Amy is the store manager

who let my sweet nephew
get ripped away from us,

suddenly and traumatically.

- Anyway, uh,

thank you for getting Mateo
a bond hearing.

When is he gonna be released?

- It's hard to say,
but it'll help

if we can present Mateo
as someone who deserves

to be out on bond
while we continue

to fight his deportation.

- Well, you know,
Mateo is one of our most

exceptional employees.

- That's it?

Amy, my baby's future
is on the line.

Please, don't mess this up
like Mateo says you always do.

- W-what?

No, I'm--

I'm gonna make him look good.

I prepared a statement
and everything.

I was just waiting for you
to swear me in or whatever.

- Oh, you don't have to be
under oath for this.

- That's why I said
"or whatever."

- Tita Irma!

Ah!

Kumusta na po?

- Oh, that's right.
You two are roommates.

- Mm-hmm.

- It's been so good
to have him around.

- Ah.
- Wait, anak.

You forgot your lunch, Marcus.
- Ah.

- Please don't forget
to eat, huh?

- I do.
I forget to eat.

Tita, what would I do
without you?

Mwah.

- So, do you need me

to stay out
of any particular area

while you set up
something special?

- Sandra, again,

I'm not throwing you
an engagement party.

Not today.
Not ever.

- [laughs]

Okay, whatever you say.

- You know, the more you deny
that there's a party,

the more she's gonna think
it's actually happening.

- Well,
that's textbook psychosis.

- Why don't you
just throw her one?

- Look, I know you like
to be everyone's

manic pixie dream girl,

but that's not how
I live my life.

And an engagement party
is clearly

not on my list of duties.

- It's just one extra thing.

- If I start doing extra things
that aren't on the list,

she'll start asking for other
things that aren't on the list.

Do you know how many things
aren't on the list, Jonah?

- Do you want me
to actually answer--

- Buying her a zoo.
Managing the zoo.

Hiring an experienced staff.

Euthanizing the giraffe
when it gets sick.

- Why are these all zoo-based?

- So you want me to start
with zoo things

and then go to other topics

and then switch back
to zoo stuff?

Do you hear yourself?

- ♪ I want the world to know

♪ I got to let it show

[Donna Summer's
"I'm Coming Out" playing]

♪ I'm coming

- You're finally emptying
Mateo's locker, huh?

You okay?

- Yeah, it sucks,

but he's not gonna
be able to work here

once he gets out of detention,

so I'm just
getting it over with.

- Yeah.

I-I forgot my name tag, so...

[groaning]

[exhales noisily]

- Got it, Glenn?

Looks like you got it.

- Hey, Cheyenne.

I don't want to be insensitive,
but Mateo's locker's in

a pretty primo spot there
above the ground.

Do you think maybe I could
move my stuff into it?

- Oh, yeah, I guess you could.
- Hold up.

If anyone's
gonna get Mateo's locker,

it should be me.

I already took his room

and most of his underwear.

It just makes sense.

- Yeah, but my doctor said

that I'm down
to my last 100 knee bends.

- Hmm, well, you guys both
make pretty good arguments.

Let me think about it,
and then I'll pick

who gets the locker.

- Fair enough.
- Okay.

Gah, I forgot my ChapStick.

- And then I ended with,
"Mateo's dedication

"to customer service
is unmatched,

and his work ethic
is an example for us all."

- Oh, did you use my line
about how the flag

is made up of the threads
of immigrants?

- Um, I just wasn't sure
that it...

meant anything.

- I told them
how Mateo and I are BFFs.

Tay-Tay and Tine-Tine:
the slut squad.

- Wait, you talked
to Richard too?

- Yeah, and I said how Mateo's
always serving up the tea,

like when he told
that lost little girl

that she was better off now

because her mommy
was hot trash.

- Classic slut squad tea.

- No, Justine,
we're supposed to be proving

that Mateo has
good moral character.

Why would you tell
the lawyer that?

- I was under oath.

- No, you're not
under oath, Justine!

Everybody knows that!

.

- So?
What do you guys think?

- Uh, what do we think of what?

- I got a brand-new polo.

Can't you smell it?

Fresh out of the bag.

- Oh, yeah, for sure.
- A bag, wow.

- I just thought I'd look
my best because of the, um...

[whispering]
Engagement party.

I can't wait
to send pictures to my mom.

I even went out
and bought a camera phone.

- Yeah, you know what,
Sandra, Dina's not--

- You look great, Sandra.
Doesn't she's look great?

That's the perfect outfit
for the party.

- Aww, thank you, Jonah,
you flirt.

[giggles]

- Dude, what are you doing?

You know Dina's not
gonna give her a party.

- Yeah, I know, but I-I figured

I'd just throw
something together.

I mean,
look how happy Sandra looks,

and she has so little.

- Yeah, exactly.
She doesn't expect much.

You don't tell a fish
about land.

You just leave it.

You're not gonna leave it,
are you?

- Nah, I'm already
too excited about it.

- Kay.

- And I was like,
"I think I just broke

my tailbone,
can you pull the box off me?"

'Cause I was pinned
under this washing machine.

But Mateo
was too busy laughing.

That's Mateo for you.

He's got a great
sense of humor.

- Hey, Eugene.
- Hey.

- Um, I need you to go

and scrub the walls.

- You got it!

Yes!

- He's fun, isn't he?

But I would strike everything
he said from the record.

- Yeah, I didn't write
any of it down.

- Besides, I already told you
Mateo's great,

so isn't that enough?

- Honestly, right now,

I'm representing
a Pulitzer Prize winner,

a heart surgeon
that's a father of six,

and a former Olympic athlete,

and those people aren't
guaranteed to get out on bond.

So no, sorry.

It's not enough.

- What the hell is this?

I said no engagement party.

- Yeah, but she seems
so excited,

so I just figured
that maybe I would--

- Make me look like
a giant a-hole?

- Um, no.

- Because that's
what I look like

when I say "no party"
and then you throw one anyway.

- Well, you could still
throw her one.

- It's not on the list!

Jonah!

The list came
from the Internet.

The International Network!

- Yeah, but--
that's not--

- I am the maid of honor,

and I said no party for Sandra.

- Yeah, gah, okay.
Yeah, I got it.

Great, no party.

- Good.
Glad you understand.

- Okay, Richard's having lunch,
so we've got about 20 minutes

to think of good things
to say about Mateo.

So, what makes him special?

- Oh, I like that Mateo
gives zero Fs.

- I also give zero Fs.
It's not unique to Mateo.

- Okay,
we actually need stories

where Mateo gives
a lot of Fs, like big Fs.

- Guys,
we're overthinking this.

One of us just needs
to marry Mateo.

I'll do it.
Tita would be over the moon.

She's our aunt.

- Marriage only works
if you originally

came here on a visa,
which Mateo did not.

- Susmaryosep!

That's like a swear
in our language.

- All right, well,
here are some defenses

that are used
in detention cases:

involved in community service,

active organ donor.

- Yes, exactly,
so we just need to think

if Mateo fits
into anything like that.

- Ah.
- Mm-hmm.

- Or we could just embellish
a little.

- You want us to lie
to a lawman?

- No!

I'm just saying,

let's think of things
that Mateo might do.

I mean, we don't know
that he wouldn't do

Habitat for Humanity.

- Oh, he for sure wouldn't.

- Cheyenne, work with me!

- And it wasn't easy,

but Mateo managed to teach
those inner city kids

how to express themselves,

through the power of music.

- Are you just telling me
the plot to "Sister Act 2"?

- "Back in the Habit," yes.

- Which I heard is loosely
based on Mateo's life.

So that's wild.

♪

- So, one time, Mateo...

[coughs, snorts]

It's a funny story.

It's a true story.

- Mateo can't be deported.

He was the only witness
to a murder.

- What murder?

- Well, I can't talk about it,

because the murderer is...

in this room.

♪

- I was told
I was supposed to come in here?

- Sandra, this isn't
your engagement party.

♪

- Uh, where was I?

- Mateo.
- Mateo.

- So I forgot to mention

that Mateo is donating
his liver to me.

Because mine
is completely destroyed.

Give that vino to me-no.

- Justine, get out.
- Okay.

♪

- No one is behind the door!

- Okay, if you're gonna have
the locker next to me,

we're probably gonna have to
talk in the mornings,

so you each have eight seconds

to show me
how interesting you are.

Glenn, go.

- Uh, okay, so, I-I was in
traffic this morning--

- Okay, I'm so sorry, Glenn,

but I really don't like
stories about cars.

Marcus, you're up.

- My parents didn't talk to me
till I was five

to see if I'd learn
sign language--

I didn't--
last year, I had intense

stomach cramps that wound up
being a spider's nest

inside my body--
worked out great, though,

got to keep the spiders--
and all my teeth are fake.

Time!

Yes!
In your face, Glenn.

- I-I-I ate a pencil because
I thought it was chocolate!

- Okay, I'm listening.

- Richard, this is Jeff Sutton
from Cloud 9 corporate.

He is a huge deal over here.

- Ah, I don't know
about huge deal,

but, uh, big deal, sure.

I do get to use
the company car.

Once.

Drove the VP's wife
to Indianapolis

'cause she was too drunk,
but I got to listen

to whatever I wanted to
on the radio.

"Pompeii" by Bastille, anyone?

- I think Jeff's testimony
is going to highlight

how important Mateo is
to the company.

- Yes, real quick,
do you know if Mateo

has been getting
any of my messages?

- Jeff.
Focus.

- Okay, Amy, look,
I see what you're trying to do,

but I have to present
actual facts, and so far,

all I've got is,
he's a good employee,

he's sometimes nice,
and he has glasses,

which isn't even a thing,

but I had to write
something down

because it was getting awkward

that I wasn't
writing anything down.

Anyway, look, I'm sorry,

but I can't waste
anymore time here.

- Really, Jeff?

You couldn't just say,

"Mateo is an integral part
of the company"?

You had to babble on
about "Bastille" by Pompeii?

- "Pompeii" by Bastille.

You're showing your age
a little.

Besides, this is your fault.

If you had stopped the store
from unionizing like I said,

Cloud 9 would have
never sent ICE.

- Why do people keep
blaming this on me?

How was I supposed to know?

- Wait, I'm sorry.

Did you say
the company called ICE

because you were unionizing?

- I mostly said
it was Amy's fault, but yeah.

- ICE isn't supposed to do
worksite enforcement

during a labor dispute.

If you guys have proof

that corporate
ordered the raid,

then we might have
a better chance.

- Proof?

Yes.

We have that.
W-we'll go get it.

- Jerry.

You're here...

and dressy.

Uh, Sandra,

I know I said the party--

- I know, I know.

We'll make sure
to act surprised.

- I'm so excited.

This is my first party.

- Like... ever?

Wow, um...

okay, well, you two lovebirds

just, uh, hang out.

Uh, something's a-coming.

[laughs]

And it is gonna be... good.

.

- Hey, Jerry, good to see you.

- Really?

- Uh, yeah.

- Okay,
a little corporate intel.

Neil has three assistants.

Hopefully, we get Charlene.
She's new.

She's real eager to please.

Her father just died,
so don't mention that.

- I wouldn't.

It's fine,
I'm just gonna put on

my sweet and innocent voice,
and bam,

they won't even know
what they're confessing to.

- That's great, they're gonna
be putty in your hands.

Putty.

[phone line ringing]

- Neil Penderson's office,
this is Gail.

- Who the [bleep] is Gail?

- Shh.

Um, hi!

I'm calling from Immigration
and Customs Enforcement,

and I just need to verify
some records.

- Work it.
Just work that putty.

- Uh, okay,
what are you looking for?

- Um, yes,

it says here
that we conducted a raid

at your
Ozark Highlands location

at your... behest.

And--
- I'm sorry.

I'm not authorized
to comment on that.

- Okay, um, but I'm with ICE,

so you can tell me.

[phone line clicks,
dial tone humming]

- Mmm.

Mmm.

Okay, I like that I can't taste
any of the flavors in here.

It just tastes sweet,
which, again, I like.

And this one,

while the flavor isn't as good,

I do appreciate
the presentation.

- Thank you,
I chose to put the entire

Snickers bar in there in case
you wanted a snack after.

- I could put food
in there too.

I got a club sandwich
in the fridge.

- Actually, do you know what
would go really good with this?

Disney World tickets.
- I can do that!

I just need to get
my credit card.

- That's not fair.

I don't know where
to get a credit card.

- You know you don't have
the authority

to assign lockers, right?

- Yeah, I'm just doing this
to get stuff.

- Mateo would be proud.

- I know.

- What do you got there, buddy?

- Uh, just--
I just--

this, I just, um,
I forgot my lunch today,

so I thought I'd--
I'd have a little treat.

- Well, if that's your lunch,

don't let me stop you
from eating it.

- Oh.
Okay, uh, great, cool.

Here we go.

Yummy.

Mmm.
Mmm.

Well, you know what?

That is probably enough for me.

I am gonna save
the rest of this.

- We're not leaving this table

until you finish every bite
of your lunch.

And you better hurry.

Your break's over
in eight minutes.

- Mm-hmm, yeah.
Mm-hmm.

- Hi, Garrett.

- Hey.

- Cool.

Um, so before,
when you said it was good

to see me,
I should've told you,

it's good to see you too.

- Oh.
Okay.

Well, talk to you later.

- When?

- What?

- When do you think
we'll talk later?

- I don't know, buddy.

- Buddy.

- ♪ Tell me lies

♪ Tell me sweet little lies

[Fleetwood Mac's
"Little Lies" playing]

- So your contact fell through?

- Yeah, and I'm kicking myself,
because if I had just recorded

the meeting
when they decided to call ICE--

- Wait, I didn't realize
you were in the room.

Well, we can just have you go
on record at the hearing.

- What?
Really?

Amazing!
Let's do that.

- Yeah, yeah.
On the record?

Like the official record?

I mean, like, corporate
could hear that I said it?

- Jeff.
- No, it's totally fine.

Totally fine.

But, you know what?

Um, yeah.

I'm not gonna do it.

[quirky music]

.

[low, distant chatter]

[Muzak playing]

- I'm really enjoying
our male friendship.

- Yep.
Okay.

- Will you be my best man?

- Um...

- I'm sorry, I can't afford
to lose this job.

I just bought a third Subaru.

- How could you do this
to Mateo?

- Look, what if I lose my job
and he doesn't get out?

I mean, then nobody wins.

- Hey, Amy.

I just finished cleaning out
Mateo's locker.

Should I send this stuff
to his family?

- I mean, I guess, if it's just
a bunch of personal stuff.

- Mostly gum
and a few Celine Dion hats.

- Wait.

What's this?

He still had this
in his locker?

- Yeah, he had it
hung up in there.

- Huh.

I didn't realize
he still had feelings.

Wow, this is big, um...

I'll do it.

- What?

- I'll testify.
- Oh, my God.

Jeff, thank God!

- I'm gonna see
if I can catch Richard.

- Yes! Go, go!
- Okay, all right.

- How did you find
a picture so fast?

- It's still
Jeff's profile picture.

Should I just throw it
in the trash or...

- Yeah.
Nobody wants that.

- Jonah.
You sure you don't want any?

- Oh, no, I-I'm all good.

I-I-I threw up a bunch of cake
a little while ago.

- Where's the wedding--
- Shh!

Eugene!

Shh, quiet!

A-and we only talk
if it's completely necessary.

- I just want to thank you.

This is better
than I ever imagined.

- Really?

- Yeah.

[forklift beeping]

- Uh...

- Well, well, well.

Look who I caught red-handed
with your pants down

and egg all over your tiny,
tiny, bush baby face.

- Dina, you want some cake?

- You just couldn't help
yourself, could you?

You had to make me
look like an a-hole.

- Hi, Dina.
- Nobody asked you!

- Dina, I wasn't trying
to make you look bad.

I just felt bad for Sandra.

- Everybody feels bad
for Sandra!

But I get it.

If this is what I need to do
to stop you

from humiliating me,
I'll do it.

I'll violate the Internet.

All right, everybody,
this isn't the real party.

The real party is gonna happen
Saturday morning at 7:00 a.m.

- Um, Saturday's
actually my day off.

- And I used
my last sick day today.

- Oh, Jerry, no one's gonna
notice if you're not there.

Now, obviously,
it's mandatory for you.

- Okay.

Do you need me
to bring anything?

- Cups would be nice.

Not plastic, though.
Glass.

Drinks.
And probably food.

People are gonna want to eat
at this thing, right?

- Food.
- Yeah, maybe empanadas?

[upbeat music]

[glass shatters]

- Hey, guys.

I brought
some chili pepper lights

to spice up the party.

That's what the package says.

Oh, you guys
are eating cake already.

- Sandra, look.
Mateo got out.

- Hey, Sandra!

Sorry, I know this is probably

all for you, but I just...

[uplifting pop music playing]

♪

- Sandra, Jesus, let Mateo
finish eating your cake.

Sorry, she's been turning
into a bit of a bridezilla.

- I mean, this is all
very sweet of you guys.

- Mateo, I just want to say,
I am so happy

this is finally over.

- Thanks, but it's not over,
I'm just

out on bond while I go through
deportation proceedings.

- Yeah, well,
at least you're free.

- Well, I do have to wear
this ankle monitor.

So not exactly free.

- I once ate a pencil

'cause I thought
it was chocolate.

- Oh, hey, Mateo?

Would you maybe mention
to your Tita Irma

that I sort of, like,
made all of this possible?

That would be great.

- I'm literally texting her
right now,

so I'll just tell her.

- Hey, man, I need you
to go to Dollywood with me

for Jerry's bachelor party.

- Um, what?

[bright ascending melody]