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1
00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:01,502
.
2
00:00:01,535 --> 00:00:02,002
- Cheese, what is it?
3
00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:07,508
Dried milk.
- Uh, no.
4
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:10,511
I don't think that's true.
- It is. It is, Amy.
5
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:12,046
It's in a PowerPoint.
6
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,315
- Now, we all know
the standard cheeses.
7
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:17,651
American cheese,
cheddar cheese, pizza cheese.
8
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:21,655
But what if I told you
there's one more out there?
9
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:22,790
- Pepper jack?
- No.
10
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:24,292
- Gouda?
- Swiss!
11
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:26,660
- Kraft Singles.
- Goat, Parm, blue, ricotta.
12
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:29,297
I could name at least ten more.
- No, you guys, it's not--
13
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:32,100
- You know what's really good?
Grilled cheese.
14
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,667
- Hot tip, Kelly.
15
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:36,070
- No, guys, stop just
yelling out random words.
16
00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:39,273
You're throwing me off.
17
00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:44,278
But what if I told you
there's one more out there?
18
00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:48,182
Human cheese!
[all retch]
19
00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:50,218
- Oh, my God,
is that what this is?
20
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,286
- I've had
five samples already.
21
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:55,156
- No, no, this is just
cut-up string cheese.
22
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:56,624
I don't have enough money
for a prototype.
23
00:00:56,657 --> 00:01:00,128
But it'll basically be
exactly like that, I think.
24
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:05,133
So who's ready
to invest in the breast?
25
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:07,835
It'll be udder-ly amazing!
26
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:10,571
- That's cows.
- Damn it, Sandra!
27
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:13,741
[laughing]
You're messing with my flow.
28
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,609
Ugh.
29
00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:19,613
[exhales, shudders]
30
00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:21,615
[sniffs]
31
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:25,219
Cheese, what is it?
32
00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:26,854
Dried milk.
33
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:29,857
[upbeat music]
34
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:32,893
*
35
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,228
- Ooh.
36
00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:35,463
Just like a couple of plums
37
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,231
nestled in a pair
of Dockers, huh?
38
00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:39,367
- What?
- Jonah's butt.
39
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,402
That you're staring at.
- No, I'm not star--
40
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,605
I'm not staring at anything.
- Oh, sorry.
41
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,208
Just, you told me
about your crush on Jonah,
42
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:48,576
and I'm an ass gal,
so I guess I just assume
43
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,211
everyone's an ass gal--
- Shh, Dina!
44
00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:52,480
- What?
- It's not a crush.
45
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:53,814
And plus, I told you that
in private.
46
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,483
- But just so you know,
47
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:57,451
Kelly's gonna start
suspecting something
48
00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:59,253
if you keep lashing out at her.
- What are you talking about?
49
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,789
I don't lash out at Kelly.
- [scoffs]
50
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,457
Hey, Sandra,
do you remember any time
51
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,759
that Amy was
lashing out at Kelly?
52
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,362
- January 4th, you said,
"Kelly, I assume you've been
53
00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:09,830
to a monster truck rally."
54
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:12,466
January 12th, you said,
"Two people saying you look
55
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,568
like Reese Witherspoon
is not a lot of people."
56
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:16,170
- Okay, we got it.
Thanks, Sandra.
57
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:17,638
- January 20th, you said,
58
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,640
"Wow, did they teach you that
at pageant school?"
59
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,309
January 21st, you said,
60
00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:22,643
"Wow, did they teach you that
at pageant school?"
61
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,378
- Okay, we got it Sandra.
Thank you.
62
00:02:24,412 --> 00:02:27,415
- * The music's on
63
00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:32,186
* Oh, baby, dance with me,
yeah *
64
00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:35,589
- Kelly!
- Hi.
65
00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:36,457
- Kelly, Kelly, Kelly.
66
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,492
- Sorry, I'm working
as fast as I can.
67
00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:41,229
I just have a few more left.
- Oh, no, no worries.
68
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:42,396
I'm not here to rush you,
69
00:02:42,430 --> 00:02:44,398
I just came over
to say, "Hey, girl."
70
00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:46,867
- Oh, "Hey, girl" back.
71
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,702
Hey, girl.
72
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:53,941
- Yep, just, um, came on over
to hang out with my friend.
73
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,943
- We're friends?
74
00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:57,378
I mean, sorry,
it's just sometimes
75
00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,347
it seems like
you don't like me.
76
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,215
- Oh, you mean because
sometimes I razz you?
77
00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:04,585
Oh, my God, Kel, you know I'm,
like, the joker of the store.
78
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,887
- Because you wear
all that lipstick?
79
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,423
- It's just gloss, and I only
wear a little bit of it.
80
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:11,359
No, because
I joke around with everyone,
81
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:14,328
especially my friends.
- Really?
82
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:16,630
- Yes, of course.
83
00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:17,998
You cutie.
84
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,435
[items crashing]
85
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,972
- Oh!
86
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:27,308
- Someone's in trouble.
87
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,610
- Oh, my God.
I hung that sign.
88
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:32,680
- Well, it was probably
just a faulty anchor.
89
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:33,781
- What anchor?
90
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:37,718
- You didn't bolt the anchor?
- There's bolts too?
91
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:40,954
- Guys, I'm telling you,
the human mammary dairy market
92
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,690
is about to explode.
93
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:47,428
- Question: if I invest,
can I still eat regular cheese?
94
00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:48,862
- Dude.
[laughs]
95
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:49,863
No.
96
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,499
Hey, how about you guys?
97
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:54,535
Who's ready to join
the boob cheese revolution?
98
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,605
- Uh, sorry, I was distracted.
99
00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:59,673
That guy has a real gay
Dothraki vibe going,
100
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,775
and #IntoIt.
101
00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,611
- You should go help him.
- You want me to just
102
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:06,947
go up there and talk to him?
- It's literally your job.
103
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:12,786
- [chanting]
Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.
104
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:15,923
Do you guys just hate chants?
Be honest with me.
105
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:17,491
- I am so screwed.
106
00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:18,726
This is, like, my third
screwup this week.
107
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,461
I'm gonna get
in so much trouble.
108
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:23,664
- What happened?
Who put this up?
109
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:27,468
- Um, Glenn, I--
110
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,603
- It was me.
I did it.
111
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:31,705
- Amy, you don't have to--
- It's okay, girl. I got you.
112
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:35,343
- Amy, you did this?
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
113
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:39,347
I was just rushing, and I
forgot to anchor the bolt.
114
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,582
- So you used duct tape?
115
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:44,385
- Yes, I did.
116
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:47,054
I really, really didn't
think that one through.
117
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:48,922
- Okay, but...
118
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:51,792
you got to be careful.
These things are heavy.
119
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,093
- Yes.
120
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:57,030
- Clean it up.
- I will. Will do.
121
00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:58,566
- Thank you so much.
122
00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:00,668
You did not have
to take the blame for me.
123
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,936
- It's totally fine.
I got you, girl.
124
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,406
It's all good, friend.
- Aw.
125
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:08,609
- And plus,
no one got hurt, so no biggie.
126
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,879
- Hey.
127
00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:13,381
Don't you hate Tuesdays?
128
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:15,416
[screams]
129
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:18,819
.
130
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:19,820
- Why would you take the blame
for Kelly's mistake?
131
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,891
- Look, I was trying to show her
that we're friends.
132
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:26,494
- Oh, this is about
the Jonah crush.
133
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:27,928
- Shh.
- Man, that secret
134
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,431
just keeps getting
tastier and tastier.
135
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,500
Mmm, that is one good secret.
136
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,435
- Okay, that's enough.
Look, can you please
137
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:35,769
just not tell anyone?
138
00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,771
- Hey, like I said,
you can count on me.
139
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,407
And if you want
to sell the lie,
140
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,075
I will sell this lie hard.
141
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:44,578
[slurping]
142
00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:46,580
- What--what--what--
what are you doing?
143
00:05:46,614 --> 00:05:47,848
- I'm trying to work up
enough saliva
144
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,517
so that we can do
a spit handshake.
145
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:50,551
It's just,
I've got such drymouth.
146
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:51,685
I think it's the pregnancy.
147
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:52,820
- Oh, don't worry about it.
148
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,121
We're good.
- No, no, no, no.
149
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,689
Just give me a second.
I'll get there.
150
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,691
[spit bubbles]
- Oh, God, okay.
151
00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,960
No, Dina, really, I'm good.
I trust you.
152
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:01,595
- Well, now I'm like
a sprinkler.
153
00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,130
It won't stop coming out.
[spits]
154
00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:04,732
- Does it hurt
when you rotate it?
155
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,066
- Of course it does.
156
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,436
I got assaulted
by a giant pot of gold.
157
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,070
Everything hurts.
- Hey, man.
158
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,005
When I cut off my thumb
with the deli slicer,
159
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:15,476
corporate gave me 200 bucks
just for promising not to sue.
160
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:18,746
- When I shattered my nose,
I held out and got $1,000.
161
00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:21,081
- Wait, you can negotiate?
162
00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:22,583
No one told me
that I can negotiate.
163
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:23,984
- Man, you should
have held out.
164
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,453
You could have
already launched Boob Cheese.
165
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:26,654
- Ugh...
166
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,121
- I wonder how much
I could get.
167
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:29,990
I mean, I'm not
a very good negotiator.
168
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,125
I just always want
people to like me.
169
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,827
- Is that...
170
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:35,529
true?
- Yes!
171
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:37,064
I'm nice.
- Well, if you want,
172
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:39,467
I could help you
with the negotiation.
173
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,868
- Actually,
that's not a bad idea.
174
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,670
I mean, you are
relentless and annoying.
175
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:45,839
- I was going to say because I
took a year of business school,
176
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,541
but I will take that
as a compliment.
177
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:50,143
- It's not, but, you know,
you hear what you want to hear.
178
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:52,546
- You are nice.
- Maybe I should get hurt again
179
00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:53,914
and hold out
for that big money.
180
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,917
- Mm-hmm, I definitely
think that's a good idea.
181
00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,019
- I feel so bad.
I didn't know
182
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,755
Mateo was gonna get hurt
when you took the blame.
183
00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,857
- Don't worry about it.
It's like I said.
184
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:06,093
We're friends,
and, you know, it's like,
185
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:08,729
bitches before snitches,
you know?
186
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:09,963
- Well, I am taking you out
187
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:11,899
for drinks tonight
as a thank-you.
188
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,835
You, me, half-off margaritas.
Like I always say,
189
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,104
there's nothing a little
dancing on a bar can't solve.
190
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:20,908
- Wow, did they teach you that
in pageant sch...
191
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,044
I mean, that is very wise
and well-observed.
192
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,179
I'm very excited.
193
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:28,181
- Hey, don't you help her.
194
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,751
This was Amy's mess, and she
needs to clean it up herself,
195
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,653
or she will never learn.
196
00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:33,887
- I'll just text you tonight
197
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:36,857
about what I'm
thinking of wearing.
198
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:40,227
- See, she does not
suspect a thing.
199
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,195
[laughs]
All right.
200
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:45,198
Clean this up for real.
201
00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:47,167
- One...
202
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,603
two...
203
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,505
Nope.
204
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,143
Damn it!
205
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:59,980
Uh, just trying
to cut off my thumb.
206
00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:04,084
- I'm sorry,
why is Jonah here?
207
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,053
- Oh, I'm just here
to give Mateo advice.
208
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:07,788
I went to business school
for a year.
209
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,823
- Before flunking out.
- Irrelevant.
210
00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:12,225
- Fine, okay.
Uh, for the record,
211
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:14,862
I should point out that
Mateo and I previously had
212
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:16,229
a romantic relationship,
but I'm confident
213
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:17,965
that we can keep
everything professional.
214
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,166
- I would also like
the record to reflect
215
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,968
that your outfit
makes you look like
216
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,936
the assistant debate coach
of an Ohio middle school.
217
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:25,105
- Your objection is noted.
218
00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:28,809
Okay, uh, without accepting
any liability for your injury,
219
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,911
Cloud 9 would like
to offer you $1,000.
220
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:33,847
- I'll take this.
[inhales]
221
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,816
No.
- No?
222
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,117
What do you mean, no?
You don't want the money?
223
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,987
- Oh, we want the money, Jeff.
224
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,322
But we want the real money.
- Yes.
225
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:46,594
- Okay, well, that is
the real money.
226
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:49,930
The offer is $1,000.
Take it or leave it.
227
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:56,236
- We will take the $1,000.
228
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:57,771
[clears throat]
229
00:08:57,805 --> 00:08:59,640
- Ah!
230
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,609
- Hey, Amy.
231
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:04,011
I thought I'd have
Sandra work with you.
232
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,614
- Oh, no, that's okay.
I got this.
233
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:09,249
- Yeah, but wouldn't it be nice
to have some company?
234
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:13,220
You know, someone to help you
and watch over you?
235
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:16,624
- Oh, okay.
I see.
236
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:18,191
- What? It's not that
I don't trust you
237
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:21,729
or that I'm worried that
you'll injure someone else.
238
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:24,031
- No, no, of course not.
239
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,800
I mean, you just said
it wasn't those things,
240
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,769
so it's probably
not those things.
241
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,270
- Right.
242
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,806
It's a different reason.
243
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,341
- Like?
244
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:39,079
- I will tell you later.
- Yep.
245
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,915
- Check issued upon
completion of background check?
246
00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:43,884
[stammers]
What does that mean?
247
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,252
- Mm, that seems
pretty standard.
248
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:46,754
They probably just
want to make sure
249
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,956
you didn't do anything
illegal.
250
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:53,193
- Illegal, like being
in this country illegally?
251
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,963
- All right, I just got off
the phone with corporate,
252
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,831
and things are
all good on their end.
253
00:09:57,865 --> 00:10:00,367
Are you done signing?
254
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,704
- Uh, um...
255
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:06,674
you know what?
I have decided to pass.
256
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,709
- We're gonna pass.
257
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:10,844
- What?
- Yeah, so...
258
00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:12,379
I mean, no need
for any of this.
259
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,014
- Mm-mm.
- Um...
260
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,917
I'm gonna go, and, um...
261
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,753
good luck to you
in all your future endeavors.
262
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:21,188
Excuse me.
263
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:23,123
- Sorry the deal fell through.
264
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:24,958
Lot of great
back-and-forth, though.
265
00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:28,328
Good sparring with you, buddy.
All right.
266
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:31,965
- Just go. Just go.
Just go when you say go.
267
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:35,102
Just go when you say
the word "go."
268
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,305
Go on the word "go."
269
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:39,707
Go!
270
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,008
Ahh, damn it!
271
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,911
Damn it!
Bad!
272
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:51,118
- Compromising safety harness.
- I was just loosening it.
273
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,886
- Okay, but now
you're not secure.
274
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,055
- I am secure, Sandra.
And also, could you, like,
275
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,357
maybe move, like,
two inches that way?
276
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:58,692
You're in my space.
277
00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:00,127
- Glenn told me
to stay close to you.
278
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,795
And also,
I'm terrified of heights,
279
00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:03,263
so I feel like the ground
is always just kind of
280
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,265
coming up at me--
- Okay, fine, fine.
281
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,868
It's just making this
a lot more difficult.
282
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:11,739
Oh!
- Almost dropped sign.
283
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:13,340
- Almost?
Are you serious?
284
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:15,342
You're writing down
almost mistakes now?
285
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:16,977
- Now you're
losing your temper.
286
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,345
- No, I'm not
losing my temper, Sandra.
287
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:19,980
I just don't think that
you need to be writing down
288
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,281
every single little thing.
- Stop!
289
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:22,883
- No, you stop it.
- Glenn gave that to me!
290
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,351
- Back up, Sandra.
- We're moving!
291
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:26,119
We're going to die!
- Oh, my God!
292
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:27,420
I need you to back up--
- [screaming, crying]
293
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,856
- Sandra, you're on me!
294
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,257
Sandra, you're pushing me
into the lever!
295
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,392
Sandra, snap out of it!
- [screaming, crying]
296
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:38,398
- Bloopers on a TV show
are delightful.
297
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:42,002
But in the workplace,
they can be dangerous.
298
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,403
So I thought that some of us
299
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,438
who have had
a couple of incidents
300
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,975
could review
some basic safety training.
301
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:50,944
Now, when would you
put out one of these?
302
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:53,246
- On the holidays?
- No.
303
00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:57,317
.
304
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:58,218
- Now, when you're
cleaning up that spill,
305
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,088
you want a nice
swaying motion.
306
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,390
Think of it like you
took your mop to a dance.
307
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:05,793
Okay, and dance with her.
308
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,394
[waltz music playing]
One, two, three.
309
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:08,528
One, two, three.
310
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,931
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
311
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:18,005
*
312
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:25,312
- Okay, all right.
313
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:28,015
[ladder creaks]
Whoa!
314
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:30,217
[shudders]
- What are you doing?
315
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,920
- I'm trying to get injured.
316
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:35,856
It's just hard
to make myself do it.
317
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,825
- You know, the problem is,
you can see it coming.
318
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,960
- Yes, obviously
that's the problem.
319
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,462
- You know, maybe,
and I'm just spitballing here,
320
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,564
but maybe you have
someone else do it
321
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,200
so you're not expecting it.
322
00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:50,137
- That's not a bad idea.
323
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:51,371
Do you think you could do it?
324
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:53,540
- [laughing]
Me? Wow.
325
00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:57,377
Whoof, that's unexpected.
[laughs]
326
00:12:57,410 --> 00:13:00,814
Hmm, yeah, I'll do it.
I'd be honored.
327
00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:02,449
- I can't believe I have
to walk away from $1,000
328
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,818
just because I'm undocumented.
- It's so unfair.
329
00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:06,486
This country was built
on the backs of immigrants--
330
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,321
- Okay, calm down.
I can tell my own story.
331
00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:10,490
- And you should be able to.
- Okay.
332
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:14,261
I just spoke to corporate.
This one time,
333
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:17,064
they're willing
to go up to $1,500.
334
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,933
Final offer, no exceptions.
- [scoffs]
335
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:23,536
Unfortunately,
I'm still gonna pass.
336
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:27,574
- Okay, but $1,500 is as high
as they're willing to go.
337
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,576
I mean, it's $1,500.
You understand that, right?
338
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:32,145
- I understand.
The answer is still no.
339
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:34,882
- Okay, okay, fine, fine.
340
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:35,582
$4,000.
341
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:36,950
- Whoa!
- Holy crap.
342
00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:38,218
- And that's it.
That's it, though.
343
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:39,920
That's the cap.
344
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:42,555
- I thought $1,500 was the cap.
- That was the fake cap.
345
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:45,025
Technically, we're allowed
to go as high as $4,000,
346
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:47,394
but that is it.
That's the final offer.
347
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,362
- I'm sorry, Jeff, okay?
It's still--
348
00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:50,931
- $6,500, final offer.
349
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,499
- I feel like we have
different definitions
350
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,267
of the word "final."
- It's not about the money.
351
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:57,537
Okay, the answer is no.
- Wow, okay, great.
352
00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:01,875
Congratulations,
you just lost out on $6,500.
353
00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:04,144
Sweet dreams
thinking about that.
354
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:08,315
$15,000.
355
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,417
[waltz music playing]
356
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:13,586
- Amy?
Hey, it's Jessie.
357
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:18,325
I'm Cindy's mom.
- Oh, yeah, of course, hi.
358
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,894
- I heard about you and Adam,
359
00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:22,595
and I just wanted to say
I hope everything's okay.
360
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:25,665
- Oh, yeah, no,
everything's great, actually.
361
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,935
Thanks for checking.
- Amy?
362
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:30,337
I need a urine sample from you.
363
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:33,206
- Oh, um, I'm sorry,
I can just--
364
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,376
- No, Dina, this isn't really
the best time for this.
365
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:37,410
- Hey, that's what happens
when you keep
366
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:38,912
screwing up on the job.
367
00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:40,313
We have to find out
if it's due to drugs
368
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:41,982
or just gross incompetence.
369
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:44,017
*
370
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:47,087
- It's not drugs.
- [laughs]
371
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:51,424
- Hey, this was lovely.
So see you at the next PTA.
372
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:54,261
- Hi, David,
I have Mateo Liwanag,
373
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:57,931
the employee who was injured,
and Jonah Simms,
374
00:14:57,965 --> 00:15:00,300
another employee,
for some reason.
375
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,601
- Hey, Mateo,
I hear you're refusing
376
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,136
to sign the liability waiver.
377
00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:04,404
A little concerned
your lawyer's
378
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:05,405
giving you some bad advice.
379
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:06,974
- Oh, I'm not a lawyer.
380
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,942
I just went to a year
of business school.
381
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,511
- Before flunking out.
- I'm on your side, you know.
382
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:14,414
- So look, we're prepared
to offer you $50,000.
383
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:17,217
- $50,000?
- Whoa.
384
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,518
- Uh...
385
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,720
that is a lot of money.
- Uh, uh-huh.
386
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:24,324
- And I wish I could take it.
But the truth is,
387
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,726
um, I'm not really hurt.
388
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,196
- David, he's lying.
- I'm lying?
389
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:31,598
What about all the times
you said you were over Chad
390
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,066
and you just jumped
right back into bed with him?
391
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,235
- After you dumped me!
I'm sorry, David.
392
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,204
That's not relevant.
- That's okay.
393
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:39,639
I have a gay son, so my views
are very progressive.
394
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,174
- Okay, what about the time
you said Jonah
395
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,575
looks great in shirts?
396
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,544
Yeah, were you lying
or telling the truth then?
397
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:46,346
- I said he
looks okay in shirts,
398
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,481
but you wouldn't know that
because you never listen.
399
00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:50,083
- Because you add
unnecessary details!
400
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:52,619
- You spent an hour
talking about lavender!
401
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,221
- Uh, it sounds like you guys
402
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:55,755
still have some stuff
to figure out.
403
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,290
Jeff, why don't you
take care of this
404
00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,026
and get back to me later,
okay?
405
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,093
Thanks.
406
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,664
- Well...
407
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,966
that got silly.
408
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:09,236
- 'Sup, Marcus?
409
00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:11,271
Something's jammed
in the box crusher.
410
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,374
I was wondering if you could
climb in and get it out.
411
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,609
- You want me to get...
412
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:19,712
inside the box crusher?
- Yeah, thanks.
413
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:25,252
- It just--it feels like
a box crusher could hurt someone
414
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:27,087
really badly.
415
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,422
- Only if somebody
pushed the button
416
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,691
while you were inside it.
417
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,193
There's no need
to worry about that,
418
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:35,762
'cause I got the button
right here.
419
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:40,133
- Yeah, okay.
420
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,534
[whistle blows]
- Sandra, your tushie
421
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:43,270
needs to be
closer to the ground.
422
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:46,506
- I can't go any lower.
- Okay, I don't want excuses.
423
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:48,475
I want lower tushies.
424
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,544
- Ugh, I can't believe
they're making you do this.
425
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,780
- Yeah, no, me and you both.
426
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:56,483
- Elias, bend both your knees,
not just the one.
427
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:59,286
- I just feel so guilty.
I mean, I almost feel like
428
00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:01,154
maybe I should tell Glenn
that I was the one
429
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,689
that messed up the signs.
430
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,691
- Well, I mean, you know,
don't do it for me.
431
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,426
But, like,
if you really want to.
432
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,828
- Yeah, you're right,
there's probably no point.
433
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,264
- Oh, did I say
there was no point?
434
00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:13,166
I don't remember
saying those words.
435
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,734
- Oh, I just--
I'm getting in my head, then.
436
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,703
Sometimes I do that thing
where I act like
437
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,638
every mistake
in the world is my fault.
438
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,473
- Yeah, except for this time,
439
00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:22,109
you wouldn't really
be that far off.
440
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:24,177
- [laughs]
Although it's like,
441
00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:26,279
I didn't make you
crash the scissor lift.
442
00:17:26,313 --> 00:17:28,181
- No, no.
- Uh-uh.
443
00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:30,750
- But technically, I wouldn't
have been on the scissor lift
444
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,852
if you hadn't
messed up the signs.
445
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,422
- I know, and then it's like,
technically,
446
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:37,857
I wouldn't have even
been hanging the signs at all
447
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:41,694
if Saint Patrick hadn't driven
the snakes out of Ireland, so...
448
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,463
How far back do we go?
449
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,198
- Um...
450
00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:47,100
probably somewhere
between the fifth century
451
00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:49,136
and this morning,
I'm guessing.
452
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:51,371
- [laughs]
Right, yeah.
453
00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:58,345
.
454
00:17:58,378 --> 00:17:59,212
- I can't take
this safety training anymore.
455
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:01,714
- Hey, I get it.
It's tough,
456
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,150
especially when you get
to your age.
457
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,617
Do you feel like
you can't keep up?
458
00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:07,120
- No, I mean I'm over taking
the blame for Kelly's mistake.
459
00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:08,821
- Well, let's tell Glenn
the truth and bury this chick!
460
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:12,325
- Yeah, but I can't just,
like, throw her under the bus.
461
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,227
- Are you sure?
'Cause I have security footage
462
00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:16,429
of her hanging the sign.
It wouldn't be hard.
463
00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:19,799
- Yes, but morally...
464
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:21,734
Although, you know,
it's not like she would
465
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,436
get in
that much trouble, right?
466
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,372
And all we'd be doing
is telling the truth.
467
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,207
So if anything,
lying in the first place
468
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,908
was the wrong thing to do,
right?
469
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,443
- You'd already
made up your mind about this
470
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,212
before you even
came in here, hadn't you?
471
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,414
- Yeah, I was thinking maybe
you could show the footage
472
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,183
while I tried to stop you
so it'd look like
473
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:37,884
my hands were clean.
I told everyone to meet,
474
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:40,453
like, around 3:00?
- Nice.
475
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,455
[door closes]
476
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:45,192
She's growing up.
477
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:49,362
- No, uh-uh, I can't do it.
478
00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:51,864
I can't.
I still know it's coming.
479
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:53,933
And to be honest...
480
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,735
you're freaking me out.
481
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,404
- You know what?
I feel you.
482
00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:59,206
So here's what
we're gonna do.
483
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:02,442
It's not gonna come today,
not even this week.
484
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,944
Months will go by.
You'll forget all about it.
485
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,480
And then one day,
out of the blue...
486
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:08,815
[metal clangs]
487
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,318
You're rich.
- I don't know if that--
488
00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:14,187
- Even if you tell me
you want to call it off,
489
00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:16,356
I'll say okay, but I'll know
you don't really want that.
490
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,925
You're just trying to make
yourself forget it's coming.
491
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:21,961
It'll never really
be called off, ever.
492
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,831
That's how much I care
about getting you this money.
493
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:30,537
- [exhales]
- Mateo, I'm not stupid.
494
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:33,640
I know why you're doing this.
- You do?
495
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,442
- Yeah, why waste
an opportunity
496
00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:38,278
to make me look incompetent
in front of my bosses, right?
497
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:41,414
- Oh. I mean no,
that's not what--
498
00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:44,451
- Okay, well, you may hate me,
but I still care about you.
499
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:48,421
So there.
10 grand. You're welcome.
500
00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:50,423
- $10,000?
I thought it was $50,000.
501
00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:52,659
Doesn't matter.
Okay...[stammers]
502
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:55,262
Jeff, I don't want this.
- Well, you're taking it.
503
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:56,996
I'm faxing the paperwork
to legal right now.
504
00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:00,400
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
you can't--you can't do that.
505
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:01,934
- Why not?
506
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:04,537
- It's complicated.
- I was in love with you.
507
00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:06,473
And you dumped me
out of the blue,
508
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:08,808
so unless there's some reason
I just can't get my--
509
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:10,977
- I'm undocumented!
510
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,881
That's why I couldn't
transfer stores.
511
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:16,549
That's why I can't
take the money.
512
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:17,717
And that's why I couldn't go
513
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:20,019
on a Carnival cruise
with your family.
514
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,721
But also, like...
515
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:24,357
cruises are gross.
516
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:27,560
- So wait.
517
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:30,597
- I never hated you.
518
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,532
- I thought it'd be helpful
for us all to watch
519
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,467
the surveillance footage
of Amy hanging the sign
520
00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:37,003
that fell on Mateo
so we can learn what not to do.
521
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:38,971
- Wait, what?
- No, I don't think
522
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,407
we need to watch
this video, Dina.
523
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,510
- Well, I do.
So we are.
524
00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:46,746
- I'm so sorry.
I don't know what else to do.
525
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,915
Um, that's the wrong file.
526
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,317
- That's from
Glenn's mullet phase.
527
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,784
That was, like, four years ago.
528
00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:54,521
- I can't stand this new system.
I can't find anything.
529
00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:56,389
- Whoa, is that
from the tornado?
530
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,425
- Oh, uh, you know what--
- Uh, Dina,
531
00:20:58,458 --> 00:21:00,059
can you turn off
the video, please?
532
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,561
- No, Amy,
it's not your decision.
533
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:02,995
- No, I'm not kidding.
Turn off the video.
534
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:04,297
- Hey, what are you doing?
Step back.
535
00:21:04,331 --> 00:21:05,332
This is very
sensitive equipment!
536
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:06,633
- Dina, turn off the video!
537
00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:07,967
Stop the video!
- What are you doing?
538
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,670
- Whoa!
[all gasp and ooh]
539
00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:13,606
[all murmuring]
540
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:21,348
- I think everyone knows
you like Jonah.
541
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:22,949
- Mm-hmm.
40207
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