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1
00:00:17,075 --> 00:00:18,610
[upbeat music]
2
00:00:18,676 --> 00:00:19,778
- [snoring]
3
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,303
- Fat Freddy, wake
your fat ass up!
4
00:00:23,370 --> 00:00:25,206
- Boing!
- [grunts]
5
00:00:25,272 --> 00:00:26,774
Who's excited?
6
00:00:26,841 --> 00:00:30,812
Only 24 hours until
the most holiest of days:
7
00:00:30,879 --> 00:00:32,547
Cinco de Asshole!
8
00:00:32,614 --> 00:00:35,083
- Oh, right. Ho, ho, ho.
9
00:00:35,150 --> 00:00:38,521
- Ah, feels like we just put
away our asshole decorations.
10
00:00:38,588 --> 00:00:40,723
- Guys, it's the fifth
day of the month.
11
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:43,594
That means we get to
curse all the assholes
12
00:00:43,660 --> 00:00:44,762
who disrespected us.
13
00:00:44,828 --> 00:00:47,865
Keep the fires of
hatred burning bright!
14
00:00:47,932 --> 00:00:49,801
- You mean disrespected you.
15
00:00:49,868 --> 00:00:52,804
- Hey, any asshole of
mine is an asshole of yours.
16
00:00:52,871 --> 00:00:54,306
Got your nominations ready?
17
00:00:54,373 --> 00:00:55,975
- Eh, tell you the truth, Phin,
18
00:00:56,042 --> 00:00:58,477
this one kind of crept up on me.
19
00:00:58,544 --> 00:01:01,214
- And now I'll creep up on you!
20
00:01:01,281 --> 00:01:03,550
- Put me down! Put me down!
21
00:01:03,617 --> 00:01:06,154
You don't creep up on
someone when they're facing you!
22
00:01:06,220 --> 00:01:07,855
It defeats the purpose!
23
00:01:07,922 --> 00:01:11,325
- Oh, sure, you get out of
your seat for that bullshit.
24
00:01:11,392 --> 00:01:14,963
All I've had to eat are two
crickets and my own fur.
25
00:01:15,030 --> 00:01:17,433
Feed me!
26
00:01:17,499 --> 00:01:19,169
- What the hell is
wrong with you guys?
27
00:01:19,235 --> 00:01:21,871
This day only comes
around 12 times a year!
28
00:01:21,938 --> 00:01:25,142
- Well, I'm just saying, maybe
we should move past that
29
00:01:25,209 --> 00:01:28,412
and focus on something positive.
30
00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:30,849
- We're not "something
positive" guys.
31
00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:32,417
We're "sit around, get high,
32
00:01:32,484 --> 00:01:34,252
and bitch about the world" guys.
33
00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:38,191
I'm leaving before you
ruin my festive mood!
34
00:01:39,058 --> 00:01:41,494
- ? Good, mm-hmm ?
35
00:01:41,561 --> 00:01:43,897
? Three brothers puffin' ?
36
00:01:43,964 --> 00:01:47,601
? And we just woke
up in year 2020 ?
37
00:01:47,668 --> 00:01:50,338
- ? Roll another J
and forget the day ?
38
00:01:50,405 --> 00:01:52,907
? Roll another J and get high ?
39
00:01:52,974 --> 00:01:56,245
? Roll another J
and forget the day ?
40
00:01:56,312 --> 00:01:58,347
? Me and my
brothers getting fried ?
41
00:01:58,414 --> 00:02:01,151
- ? The Freak Brothers ?
42
00:02:06,124 --> 00:02:07,859
- Canned cat food again?
43
00:02:07,925 --> 00:02:09,160
Fuck that slop.
44
00:02:09,227 --> 00:02:10,761
You know, Fred,
I've been watching
45
00:02:10,828 --> 00:02:11,930
a lot of cooking shows.
46
00:02:11,997 --> 00:02:13,332
I could be a great chef.
47
00:02:13,398 --> 00:02:14,399
Follow my lead.
48
00:02:14,466 --> 00:02:16,135
We'll Ratatouille this bitch.
49
00:02:16,201 --> 00:02:19,272
We're making chicken tacos
with jalape�o cheese sauce
50
00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:20,874
on a corn tortilla.
51
00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:22,842
Mmm, mmm, good.
52
00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:24,044
- Aye, aye, Captain!
53
00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:27,748
You say, jump, and I'll
say, that hurts my knees.
54
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:29,717
- You get started
on the knife work.
55
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:32,687
[light music]
56
00:02:32,754 --> 00:02:35,257
? ?
57
00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:37,026
[metallic clanging]
58
00:02:37,093 --> 00:02:39,795
- [yelping]
59
00:02:39,862 --> 00:02:41,865
You idiots, you're
giving me flashbacks
60
00:02:41,932 --> 00:02:43,634
to my trip to Thailand.
61
00:02:45,402 --> 00:02:47,771
- Now put that shit in the pot.
62
00:02:49,407 --> 00:02:51,209
You're on fire, fat man.
63
00:02:51,276 --> 00:02:52,410
- Thanks, Kitty.
64
00:02:52,477 --> 00:02:54,213
I think I'm getting
the hang of this.
65
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,715
- No. You're on fire.
66
00:02:56,782 --> 00:02:58,217
- [screams]
67
00:03:00,020 --> 00:03:02,289
- Saw that shit coming.
68
00:03:03,623 --> 00:03:07,361
- I nominate Mr. Malouf,
my 12th grade band teacher.
69
00:03:07,428 --> 00:03:08,896
He made me second triangle.
70
00:03:08,963 --> 00:03:10,431
Think about what my
life could have been
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00:03:10,498 --> 00:03:12,100
if I was first triangle.
72
00:03:12,167 --> 00:03:14,903
You, sir, are a fucking asshole.
73
00:03:16,371 --> 00:03:17,941
Ow, my thumb!
74
00:03:18,007 --> 00:03:20,677
Why did I choose such
a difficult instrument?
75
00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:23,680
- Hey, what you up to, Gretch?
76
00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:24,815
- Not much.
77
00:03:24,882 --> 00:03:26,417
My friend Mark's
coming over to discuss
78
00:03:26,483 --> 00:03:28,252
this homeless initiative
I'm helping him with.
79
00:03:28,319 --> 00:03:29,520
- Mark who?
80
00:03:29,587 --> 00:03:31,556
- Oh, just...[chuckles]
You know...
81
00:03:31,623 --> 00:03:33,992
[coughs] Mark Zuckerberg.
82
00:03:34,059 --> 00:03:35,627
- Oh!
- Mark Zuckerberg?
83
00:03:35,694 --> 00:03:37,296
- The Mark Zuckerberg?
84
00:03:37,363 --> 00:03:39,465
- He's building this
amazing Megashelter
85
00:03:39,532 --> 00:03:42,669
that has the potential to
literally end homelessness.
86
00:03:42,736 --> 00:03:44,638
- Oh, that's great, Gretch.
87
00:03:44,705 --> 00:03:48,243
Anyone who picks you for their
team is doing something right.
88
00:03:48,309 --> 00:03:49,444
- Thank you, Franklin.
89
00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:50,678
- Right, right.
90
00:03:50,745 --> 00:03:53,248
So Mark Zuckerberg
is coming over when?
91
00:03:53,314 --> 00:03:55,684
[doorbell rings]
- Uh, now.
92
00:03:55,751 --> 00:03:57,586
- I got it.
- No, I got it.
93
00:03:57,653 --> 00:03:59,355
No, I have got the door.
94
00:04:00,523 --> 00:04:02,993
- Hello, Gretchen,
as I believe they say.
95
00:04:03,059 --> 00:04:04,094
[chuckles awkwardly]
96
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,397
Oh, how rude of me.
97
00:04:06,464 --> 00:04:07,965
I am Mark E-period Zuckerberg.
98
00:04:08,032 --> 00:04:11,235
The E-period stands
for Elliot, no period.
99
00:04:11,302 --> 00:04:14,940
- Ugh, five seconds, and I
already don't like this guy.
100
00:04:15,007 --> 00:04:16,608
- Eh, Franklin Freek.
101
00:04:16,675 --> 00:04:20,480
No commas, periods,
or question marks.
102
00:04:20,546 --> 00:04:22,348
- [smooches] Mr. Zuckerberg,
103
00:04:22,415 --> 00:04:23,917
we didn't know anyone
was coming over,
104
00:04:23,984 --> 00:04:28,389
but welcome to our humble,
humble, humble, humble...
105
00:04:28,455 --> 00:04:29,423
- Honey, you're skipping.
106
00:04:29,490 --> 00:04:31,026
- Home. Thank you.
107
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I couldn't get out of that.
108
00:04:32,294 --> 00:04:34,129
Take a picture.
109
00:04:34,195 --> 00:04:35,697
- So nice to meet you all.
110
00:04:35,765 --> 00:04:38,567
[chuckles awkwardly] I am
Mark E-period Zuckerberg.
111
00:04:38,634 --> 00:04:40,469
The E stands for--
112
00:04:40,536 --> 00:04:41,972
- Enough! We get it!
113
00:04:42,039 --> 00:04:42,973
Nice haircut, by the way.
114
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:44,241
That come with a
free bowl of soup?
115
00:04:44,308 --> 00:04:45,442
[groans]
116
00:04:45,509 --> 00:04:47,644
Ow, my nose!
117
00:04:47,711 --> 00:04:50,915
- [sniffs] My olfactory
senses are stimulated.
118
00:04:50,982 --> 00:04:53,151
I detect... [snorts awkwardly]
119
00:04:53,217 --> 00:04:55,354
Deliciousness.
120
00:04:58,257 --> 00:05:01,227
Man, cat, food.
121
00:05:01,294 --> 00:05:02,896
My algorithm informs me
122
00:05:02,962 --> 00:05:05,332
this is a highly
desirable combination.
123
00:05:05,398 --> 00:05:07,668
[sputtering]
124
00:05:07,735 --> 00:05:09,704
May I sample your nutriments?
125
00:05:09,770 --> 00:05:11,773
- Of course. Eat
whatever you want.
126
00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:13,975
- Take the fridge.
We don't need it.
127
00:05:16,311 --> 00:05:18,014
- [slurps]
128
00:05:18,081 --> 00:05:20,049
Bah! Bah! Bah!
129
00:05:20,116 --> 00:05:21,718
Deli-i-cious.
130
00:05:21,784 --> 00:05:23,987
- That's the freshly
chopped microwave.
131
00:05:24,054 --> 00:05:28,726
- Say, I'm using local chefs
at my Megashelter event.
132
00:05:28,792 --> 00:05:30,829
How would you mammals
like to cook there?
133
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:33,331
- This is my big break, Freddy.
134
00:05:33,398 --> 00:05:34,699
That freckled-faced motherfucker
135
00:05:34,766 --> 00:05:37,303
got more money than God.
136
00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:39,372
- And you'll be cooking this:
137
00:05:39,438 --> 00:05:41,140
Meat-a-Verse Meat,
138
00:05:41,207 --> 00:05:44,444
lab-grown beef that will
end the slaughter of animals.
139
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:45,979
Isn't that nice?
140
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,182
- Meat? That looks like shit.
141
00:05:48,249 --> 00:05:49,350
But we're in.
142
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,185
- Kitty says we're in.
143
00:05:52,487 --> 00:05:54,123
- I would like to
invite all of you
144
00:05:54,189 --> 00:05:57,593
to the opening of my
Megashelter this Friday.
145
00:05:57,659 --> 00:05:59,595
- We'll be there. Can
we bring anything?
146
00:05:59,662 --> 00:06:01,064
- R�sum�s, perhaps? [chuckles]
147
00:06:01,131 --> 00:06:03,566
- What about you,
man in cowboy hat?
148
00:06:03,633 --> 00:06:05,402
- I'll be there with spurs on--
149
00:06:05,468 --> 00:06:07,605
my fancy ones.
150
00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:11,275
- Bah! Bah! Bah! Bah! Bah! Bah!
151
00:06:11,342 --> 00:06:13,345
Wonderful.
152
00:06:13,412 --> 00:06:15,647
- What's taking so long?
153
00:06:15,714 --> 00:06:17,449
It's just a casual affair.
154
00:06:17,516 --> 00:06:18,885
- I know it's casual.
155
00:06:18,951 --> 00:06:20,887
Why do you think
my bow tie is red?
156
00:06:20,953 --> 00:06:23,156
- [chuckles] You're so naughty.
157
00:06:23,222 --> 00:06:26,226
- Remember, we address
each other as Chef.
158
00:06:26,293 --> 00:06:27,428
OK, Chef?
159
00:06:27,494 --> 00:06:29,596
- You got it, Kitty.
160
00:06:29,664 --> 00:06:31,733
- This is gonna be a long night.
161
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,701
- Grab your bell-bottoms
and light a fatty,
162
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:37,873
'cause it's Cinco de Ass--
163
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:39,008
what's going on?
164
00:06:39,074 --> 00:06:42,112
- Kitty and I are
professional chefs.
165
00:06:42,179 --> 00:06:43,580
- Sorry, man.
166
00:06:43,647 --> 00:06:45,749
Mark Z. invited
me to this shindig,
167
00:06:45,816 --> 00:06:49,187
so I have to take a
Cinco de Rain Check.
168
00:06:49,253 --> 00:06:52,457
- What kind of friends
would leave a guy alone
169
00:06:52,523 --> 00:06:54,259
on Cinco de Asshole, huh?
170
00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:57,062
Don't you want to get high
and stew in healthy hatred?
171
00:06:57,129 --> 00:06:59,632
- You're living in a
fantasy world, man.
172
00:06:59,699 --> 00:07:01,768
Let it go.
173
00:07:01,835 --> 00:07:03,736
- Leave! Who needs you?
174
00:07:03,803 --> 00:07:06,006
You all just made the list.
175
00:07:07,575 --> 00:07:11,947
Asshole, cat
asshole, fat asshole.
176
00:07:12,013 --> 00:07:14,883
? ?
177
00:07:14,950 --> 00:07:18,521
- Behold, these
homeless layabouts
178
00:07:18,588 --> 00:07:20,456
are now off the streets
179
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:25,062
and safely pacified by the
wonders of virtual reality.
180
00:07:25,128 --> 00:07:27,831
[sputtering]
181
00:07:27,898 --> 00:07:30,935
- Everyone looks real
happy and well-fed.
182
00:07:31,002 --> 00:07:33,505
What are they seeing
in their googly goggles?
183
00:07:33,571 --> 00:07:35,106
- We scan their minds
184
00:07:35,173 --> 00:07:38,010
and deliver a tailor-made
fantasy experience--
185
00:07:38,077 --> 00:07:40,379
another of my many
disruptive technologies.
186
00:07:40,446 --> 00:07:41,581
[sputtering]
187
00:07:41,648 --> 00:07:42,816
- You're a disruptor.
188
00:07:42,883 --> 00:07:45,719
He's a total disruptor.
189
00:07:45,785 --> 00:07:49,257
- This is a live feed
of their neural activity.
190
00:07:49,323 --> 00:07:52,493
These goggles are letting
this man live his ideal life
191
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:54,596
in the Metaverse.
192
00:07:54,663 --> 00:07:56,231
- Honey, I'm home.
193
00:07:56,298 --> 00:07:58,000
- I'm so glad you're
not a heroin-addicted
194
00:07:58,066 --> 00:07:59,936
degenerate gambler anymore...
195
00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:02,839
and that you have a huge penis.
196
00:08:02,906 --> 00:08:05,341
- You're really improving
their lives there, Zuck.
197
00:08:05,408 --> 00:08:08,279
I mean, you're not
just giving them a pillow
198
00:08:08,345 --> 00:08:10,180
and a place to poop.
199
00:08:10,247 --> 00:08:11,983
- Very astute, Franklin.
200
00:08:12,050 --> 00:08:14,719
You're a credit to people
who didn't go to Harvard.
201
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:17,957
[sputtering]
202
00:08:18,024 --> 00:08:21,294
- And Bravo, Mayor Pimko,
for your decision to award
203
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,931
this wonderful man
the key to the city.
204
00:08:23,997 --> 00:08:26,533
- Boss man, this
place is our answer
205
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,302
to the homeless problemo.
206
00:08:28,368 --> 00:08:30,071
- We pushed you six blocks,
207
00:08:30,138 --> 00:08:32,907
and your wheels are
still mucho cleano.
208
00:08:32,974 --> 00:08:36,245
- You didn't roll through
one pile of bum shit.
209
00:08:36,312 --> 00:08:39,214
- I'm riding this motherfucker
to the White House.
210
00:08:39,281 --> 00:08:41,685
Pimko 2024, baby.
211
00:08:41,751 --> 00:08:43,353
[spits]
- Uh-oh, uh-oh.
212
00:08:43,420 --> 00:08:44,654
- Oh!
- Bib me, Chuck.
213
00:08:44,721 --> 00:08:46,356
- Fire in the hole!
214
00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:50,061
- Huh.
215
00:08:50,127 --> 00:08:53,799
Mary Tyler Moore,
queen of the assholes.
216
00:08:53,865 --> 00:08:56,201
The year was 1967.
217
00:08:56,268 --> 00:08:58,136
She was eating clam
chowder on the wharf.
218
00:08:58,203 --> 00:09:01,240
I politely offered my
opinion that she could
219
00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:04,377
possibly use bigger
tits, and she said,
220
00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:06,747
this man's bothering me.
221
00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:08,549
I don't feel safe.
222
00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:10,985
I should have dumped her
clam chowder on her hands
223
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,887
when I had the fucking chance.
224
00:09:12,954 --> 00:09:14,089
[door clicks open]
225
00:09:14,789 --> 00:09:15,924
Ladies.
226
00:09:15,991 --> 00:09:17,860
What a pleasant surprise.
227
00:09:17,927 --> 00:09:20,029
- This is Jen and Kara.
228
00:09:20,096 --> 00:09:22,098
They're here for a sleepover.
229
00:09:22,164 --> 00:09:23,834
- You couldn't have
picked a better night.
230
00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:26,236
Happy Cinco de A-hole.
231
00:09:26,303 --> 00:09:27,671
- Excuse me?
232
00:09:27,738 --> 00:09:29,139
- I'm saying A-hole
233
00:09:29,206 --> 00:09:31,643
because swearing in
front of kids is shitty.
234
00:09:31,709 --> 00:09:33,778
- We know what A-hole means.
235
00:09:33,845 --> 00:09:36,348
- Whoa, Camille, keep it clean.
236
00:09:36,415 --> 00:09:37,650
This is a party.
237
00:09:37,716 --> 00:09:38,851
- You're by yourself.
238
00:09:38,917 --> 00:09:40,653
- Not anymore.
239
00:09:40,719 --> 00:09:44,524
Ladies, let me show you
the best four-hour slide show
240
00:09:44,591 --> 00:09:46,192
you'll ever see.
241
00:09:46,259 --> 00:09:47,795
- Ugh.
242
00:09:47,862 --> 00:09:51,298
- Welcome to hell.
243
00:09:51,365 --> 00:09:54,503
- And our last asshole
before the intermission
244
00:09:54,569 --> 00:09:55,637
is Wilt Chamberlain.
245
00:09:55,704 --> 00:09:57,105
Questions, girls?
246
00:09:57,172 --> 00:10:00,343
- [grumbles, burps] Pardon.
247
00:10:00,410 --> 00:10:01,811
- Ugh.
248
00:10:01,878 --> 00:10:06,350
? ?
249
00:10:06,417 --> 00:10:07,451
Hey, old-timer.
250
00:10:07,518 --> 00:10:09,787
At least your friends
didn't abandon you.
251
00:10:09,853 --> 00:10:11,456
- [coughing]
252
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:12,991
- Well said, my friend.
253
00:10:13,058 --> 00:10:15,360
This world's full of
assholes, don't you think?
254
00:10:15,427 --> 00:10:17,328
- [hocks loogie]
255
00:10:17,395 --> 00:10:20,633
I don't know, I try to
keep a positive outlook.
256
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:22,668
[urine trickling]
257
00:10:22,735 --> 00:10:24,171
- Nice.
258
00:10:24,237 --> 00:10:25,706
[zipper zips] [engine rumbling]
259
00:10:25,772 --> 00:10:27,874
- There's that damn
Megashelter bus.
260
00:10:27,941 --> 00:10:29,577
I ain't gettin' on.
261
00:10:29,644 --> 00:10:31,446
[hocks loogie]
262
00:10:31,512 --> 00:10:33,481
- Free Megashelter headsets.
263
00:10:33,548 --> 00:10:36,418
- Hey, that's pretty.
264
00:10:36,485 --> 00:10:38,987
- Here you go, Piss Pants.
265
00:10:40,656 --> 00:10:43,059
- What the fuck?
266
00:10:43,126 --> 00:10:45,528
Guys, you're being brainwashed!
267
00:10:45,595 --> 00:10:46,830
I'm coming with you.
268
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,966
I got to tell my asshole friends
269
00:10:49,033 --> 00:10:51,535
this Zuckerberg isn't
on the up-and-up.
270
00:10:51,602 --> 00:10:52,837
- Quiet.
271
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:55,173
I'm getting a handy
from Kelly Ripa.
272
00:10:59,645 --> 00:11:01,013
[indistinct chatter]
273
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,649
- This is some fine shindig.
274
00:11:03,716 --> 00:11:07,321
And good on you for
treating these filthy hobos
275
00:11:07,387 --> 00:11:08,522
with dignity.
276
00:11:08,589 --> 00:11:10,791
- Dignity is my middle name.
277
00:11:10,858 --> 00:11:11,926
Just kidding. It's--
278
00:11:11,993 --> 00:11:13,862
both: Elliot. We know.
279
00:11:13,928 --> 00:11:15,363
- Seasoning pass, Chef.
280
00:11:15,430 --> 00:11:17,298
- S�, se�orita.
281
00:11:17,365 --> 00:11:18,667
- Salt.
282
00:11:18,734 --> 00:11:20,169
Pepper.
283
00:11:20,236 --> 00:11:21,437
Salsa.
284
00:11:21,504 --> 00:11:22,972
[salsa music]
285
00:11:23,038 --> 00:11:25,976
- [vocalizing]
286
00:11:26,042 --> 00:11:29,447
? ?
287
00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:31,282
And now dip me.
288
00:11:31,349 --> 00:11:32,784
[grunts]
289
00:11:32,850 --> 00:11:35,921
- [yowling]
290
00:11:35,988 --> 00:11:38,490
I'll get some more fake
meat from the walk-in.
291
00:11:38,557 --> 00:11:40,392
[vocalizing]
292
00:11:40,459 --> 00:11:42,128
- I'm Gordon Ramsay,
293
00:11:42,195 --> 00:11:44,964
and I want to know which
fucking chef had the balls
294
00:11:45,031 --> 00:11:46,933
to serve this fucking dish!
295
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,870
- [stammering]
296
00:11:49,937 --> 00:11:52,473
- Because it is
fucking delicious,
297
00:11:52,540 --> 00:11:54,009
you cheeky little fucker!
298
00:11:54,075 --> 00:11:55,944
- I've never been called little.
299
00:11:56,011 --> 00:11:58,547
- I want to introduce
you to some posh people,
300
00:11:58,613 --> 00:12:00,183
you fucking wanker!
301
00:12:00,249 --> 00:12:02,285
- Meat coming at you, Freddy.
302
00:12:03,019 --> 00:12:03,953
[bowl shatters]
303
00:12:04,020 --> 00:12:05,989
Whoa, Freddy.
304
00:12:06,056 --> 00:12:07,991
Where the fuck did he go?
305
00:12:09,626 --> 00:12:11,261
- Franklin, we got to talk.
306
00:12:11,328 --> 00:12:13,565
- What the hell are you
doing here, Phineas?
307
00:12:13,631 --> 00:12:15,033
You smell like piss.
308
00:12:15,099 --> 00:12:16,467
- Don't worry. It ain't mine.
309
00:12:16,534 --> 00:12:18,103
Listen, we got to split.
310
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:19,805
You don't want anything
to do with this place.
311
00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:21,440
[gobbling]
312
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,844
These crab cakes are delightful.
313
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,212
Keep 'em coming.
314
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:26,813
They're using these
goggles on the homeless
315
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,281
to control their minds.
316
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,383
- Calm down.
317
00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:31,652
Those gizmos help them envision
318
00:12:31,719 --> 00:12:34,188
their best lives
in the Metaverse.
319
00:12:34,255 --> 00:12:36,124
- What flavor
Kool-Aid you drinking?
320
00:12:36,191 --> 00:12:38,093
- Come on, Phin,
you're just angry
321
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:41,096
nobody came to your
Cinco de Bitch Fest.
322
00:12:41,163 --> 00:12:43,199
- [scoffs] I got to find
someone levelheaded
323
00:12:43,266 --> 00:12:44,701
who's not on the take.
324
00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:46,636
Hey, there's Hunter Biden.
325
00:12:46,703 --> 00:12:49,540
[dramatic rock music]
326
00:12:49,607 --> 00:12:51,308
? ?
327
00:12:51,375 --> 00:12:53,612
- [yowling]
328
00:12:53,678 --> 00:12:54,813
What the--
329
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,515
Freddy's out there networking
with Gordon Ramsay
330
00:12:57,582 --> 00:13:01,187
while I'm in here scalding
six of my eight nipples.
331
00:13:01,254 --> 00:13:05,057
Steak kebabs up,
hot and ready to trot.
332
00:13:05,124 --> 00:13:06,793
Ah, that fat-ass
is taking selfies
333
00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:08,595
with Millie Bobby Brown?
334
00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:10,130
Or is that Bobby Brown?
335
00:13:10,197 --> 00:13:12,166
Or is that Billy Bobby Thornton?
336
00:13:12,233 --> 00:13:15,003
Ah, fuck, I'm working too hard.
337
00:13:16,137 --> 00:13:18,274
- It looks exactly
like real steak.
338
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:21,644
- It is real steak,
just grown in a lab.
339
00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:22,978
And the taste is outstanding.
340
00:13:23,045 --> 00:13:24,347
Bah!
341
00:13:24,414 --> 00:13:26,283
- I've had the
porterhouse at Peter Luger,
342
00:13:26,349 --> 00:13:29,287
and this makes that
taste like Ruth's Chris.
343
00:13:29,353 --> 00:13:31,656
- Oh, my God,
Mark, it's delicious.
344
00:13:31,722 --> 00:13:34,158
And knowing that
no animals died for it?
345
00:13:34,225 --> 00:13:35,961
It's amazing.
- Mmm.
346
00:13:36,028 --> 00:13:38,030
- Isn't it something?
347
00:13:38,096 --> 00:13:40,132
- Well, it's something,
348
00:13:40,198 --> 00:13:41,634
just not beef.
349
00:13:41,701 --> 00:13:44,170
[dramatic music]
350
00:13:44,237 --> 00:13:46,406
- You are mistaken, friend.
351
00:13:46,472 --> 00:13:49,576
These are actual bovine
cells grown in a lab.
352
00:13:49,643 --> 00:13:52,713
It is molecularly
identical to cow beef.
353
00:13:52,780 --> 00:13:54,783
- Hey, I don't want to
whip up a dust storm,
354
00:13:54,849 --> 00:13:57,485
but I grew up roping
cattle and eating it.
355
00:13:57,552 --> 00:14:01,057
And I'm telling
you, this ain't beef.
356
00:14:01,123 --> 00:14:04,493
- [gibbering]
357
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:06,730
Facebook.
358
00:14:07,998 --> 00:14:09,599
- Kitty, there you are.
359
00:14:09,666 --> 00:14:11,803
You didn't come
to bed last night.
360
00:14:11,869 --> 00:14:14,105
- No, I most certainly did not.
361
00:14:14,172 --> 00:14:16,941
- Mm, damn, I don't
got to speak cat
362
00:14:17,008 --> 00:14:18,344
to know what that means.
363
00:14:18,410 --> 00:14:21,180
You, my friend, are in trouble.
364
00:14:21,246 --> 00:14:23,516
- It's bad enough you
didn't pull your weight.
365
00:14:23,583 --> 00:14:26,219
But when you were out there
hobnobbing with Steph Curry
366
00:14:26,286 --> 00:14:28,088
and my girl Ayesha,
367
00:14:28,154 --> 00:14:30,491
did you say, Kitty made these?
368
00:14:30,558 --> 00:14:33,027
Did you mention
my name to anyone?
369
00:14:33,094 --> 00:14:34,195
Huh? Huh?
370
00:14:34,261 --> 00:14:35,731
- I'm sorry, Kitty.
371
00:14:35,797 --> 00:14:37,632
I got caught up in the moment.
372
00:14:37,699 --> 00:14:39,835
- I just don't know if
I could cook with you
373
00:14:39,901 --> 00:14:42,238
at the Zuckerberg Award Dinner.
374
00:14:42,305 --> 00:14:45,241
- Please, Kitty, give
me another chance.
375
00:14:45,308 --> 00:14:47,811
I'll shout your name
from the rooftops.
376
00:14:47,878 --> 00:14:50,314
- I'll shout your name
from the rooftops, Chef.
377
00:14:50,381 --> 00:14:51,782
You got it, fuckface?
378
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:52,983
- Yes, Chef.
379
00:14:53,050 --> 00:14:54,753
Ow, oh, my eye.
380
00:14:54,819 --> 00:14:56,488
- Morning, Phin. [sniffs]
381
00:14:56,554 --> 00:15:00,259
Ah, you know, most
people who get pissed on
382
00:15:00,326 --> 00:15:02,395
change their pants the next day.
383
00:15:02,461 --> 00:15:05,365
- Well, most people have
more than one pair of pants!
384
00:15:05,432 --> 00:15:08,235
- What's next, more than
one pair of underpants?
385
00:15:08,301 --> 00:15:10,103
Where does it end?
386
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:12,373
- Anyway, I would
like to inform you both
387
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,275
that your services as my friends
388
00:15:14,342 --> 00:15:15,743
are no longer needed.
389
00:15:15,810 --> 00:15:17,178
- OK.
390
00:15:18,213 --> 00:15:20,215
- I've got a new crew.
391
00:15:21,283 --> 00:15:25,321
I said, I've got a new crew.
392
00:15:25,388 --> 00:15:26,689
- Ugh, what do you want?
393
00:15:26,756 --> 00:15:31,562
- You guys know
C-Dog, Jen, and...Braces.
394
00:15:31,629 --> 00:15:34,131
You dudes down to finish
up that slide show now?
395
00:15:34,198 --> 00:15:35,333
- We have school.
396
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:36,735
We're leaving now.
397
00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:38,103
- Cool. Cool.
398
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:39,204
DM me.
399
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,439
- Hey, Franklin.
400
00:15:40,505 --> 00:15:41,974
Mark wanted me
to show you this text.
401
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:46,345
- Oh, a textual message
from Mark Zuckerberg.
402
00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:50,517
Said he is sorry for
making alien noises at me.
403
00:15:50,584 --> 00:15:55,056
Wants to get my opinion on
how to make his beef taste better.
404
00:15:55,123 --> 00:15:57,659
Sending a limousine for me.
405
00:15:57,725 --> 00:16:00,062
- You really made
an impression on him.
406
00:16:00,129 --> 00:16:01,397
- I give the guy credit.
407
00:16:01,464 --> 00:16:05,134
Takes a big man
to admit he's wrong.
408
00:16:05,202 --> 00:16:08,738
- Yes, but it takes an even
bigger man to hold a grudge,
409
00:16:08,805 --> 00:16:10,640
which I continue to do.
410
00:16:10,707 --> 00:16:13,211
[car horn beeping]
411
00:16:13,277 --> 00:16:15,613
- Adios, gents. That's my ride.
412
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,217
- What'd I miss?
413
00:16:18,283 --> 00:16:20,719
[upbeat music]
414
00:16:20,786 --> 00:16:22,020
- Come on, man.
415
00:16:22,087 --> 00:16:24,057
Having sex with your baby mama
416
00:16:24,124 --> 00:16:25,859
and your baby mama's mama?
417
00:16:25,925 --> 00:16:27,627
What were you thinking?
418
00:16:27,694 --> 00:16:29,830
- Hey, I handles my shit.
419
00:16:29,897 --> 00:16:31,765
I handles my shit!
420
00:16:31,832 --> 00:16:33,501
Let's go, Brandon.
- Get him out of here.
421
00:16:33,567 --> 00:16:35,203
Give me a "Jerry" chant.
422
00:16:35,270 --> 00:16:38,673
audience: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
423
00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:40,642
- Look at these
toothless inbreds
424
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:43,012
flashing their tits and
chanting his name.
425
00:16:43,079 --> 00:16:45,381
That's respect.
426
00:16:45,448 --> 00:16:47,684
- Been two days since
we've seen Franklin.
427
00:16:47,751 --> 00:16:49,753
He and Mark must
be really hitting it off.
428
00:16:49,820 --> 00:16:51,688
- Mark?
- Did someone say Mark?
429
00:16:51,755 --> 00:16:52,756
- Check it out.
430
00:16:52,823 --> 00:16:55,760
Look at these photos
of the two of them.
431
00:16:55,827 --> 00:16:56,961
- That should be us.
432
00:16:57,028 --> 00:16:58,563
Oh.
433
00:16:58,630 --> 00:17:02,468
- And tonight Mark
Zuckerberg will be receiving
434
00:17:02,535 --> 00:17:05,472
the Bob Pimko Humanitarian
of the Year Award
435
00:17:05,539 --> 00:17:07,607
for his incredible work
436
00:17:07,674 --> 00:17:09,910
ending homelessness
in the Bay Area.
437
00:17:09,976 --> 00:17:11,179
- Holy shit.
438
00:17:11,245 --> 00:17:14,081
Franklin-- they've
lobotomized him.
439
00:17:14,148 --> 00:17:16,984
I'm coming, man!
440
00:17:17,051 --> 00:17:19,755
[cows mooing]
441
00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:21,089
- Hyah.
442
00:17:21,156 --> 00:17:23,960
Hyah. Go on, get.
443
00:17:24,027 --> 00:17:26,196
[horse whinnies, chuffs]
444
00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:28,164
[can cracks open]
445
00:17:28,231 --> 00:17:30,201
- Hot enough for you, Cowboy?
446
00:17:30,267 --> 00:17:32,369
- That's my girl.
447
00:17:37,175 --> 00:17:38,143
Oh.
448
00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:39,344
- Buddy, can you hear me?
449
00:17:39,411 --> 00:17:40,579
It's Phineas.
450
00:17:40,645 --> 00:17:42,014
I'm getting you out of here.
451
00:17:42,081 --> 00:17:45,384
I'm not gonna let Zuckerborg
brainwash my best friend.
452
00:17:45,451 --> 00:17:48,922
- You sure got
kissable lips, Gretch.
453
00:17:48,989 --> 00:17:50,958
[smooches]
- Ugh!
454
00:17:51,024 --> 00:17:53,061
So much tongue.
455
00:17:53,127 --> 00:17:55,029
[door beeps]
456
00:17:55,096 --> 00:17:57,065
Shit.
457
00:17:57,131 --> 00:17:58,866
- Good news, Mr. Freek.
458
00:17:58,933 --> 00:18:01,103
You've been approved
for a life upgrade.
459
00:18:01,170 --> 00:18:03,606
Just have to process you first.
460
00:18:03,672 --> 00:18:06,776
[suspenseful music]
461
00:18:06,843 --> 00:18:13,784
? ?
462
00:18:15,519 --> 00:18:16,921
What the hell?
463
00:18:16,988 --> 00:18:19,791
? ?
464
00:18:19,858 --> 00:18:21,960
[alarm blaring]
- Intruder!
465
00:18:22,027 --> 00:18:25,331
- Intruder. Intruder. Intruder.
466
00:18:29,336 --> 00:18:32,239
- Hey, what the
fuck have you done?
467
00:18:32,306 --> 00:18:34,141
- Let's take our
pic for the Gram.
468
00:18:34,208 --> 00:18:35,777
Say neurotoxin.
469
00:18:35,844 --> 00:18:37,946
[giggles]
470
00:18:38,013 --> 00:18:42,952
- You...son of a...bitch.
471
00:18:43,019 --> 00:18:45,621
You got to give me the name
of your gas guy, by the way.
472
00:18:49,026 --> 00:18:55,533
? ?
473
00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:02,608
[dramatic rock music]
474
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,243
- I guess Franklin's not coming.
475
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,679
- Ooh, there's Zuck.
476
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:07,447
I'm gonna tell him
Instagram rules
477
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:08,948
and TikTok drools.
478
00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:11,819
- I am so hot for you right now.
479
00:19:15,489 --> 00:19:18,660
- Yeah, there's that
teamwork. [laughs]
480
00:19:18,727 --> 00:19:21,396
Check out Willie Mays,
Gold Gloving this shit.
481
00:19:21,463 --> 00:19:24,033
Now, go on and enjoy the party.
482
00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:25,435
I got the rest.
483
00:19:25,501 --> 00:19:27,036
- Thanks, Kitty.
484
00:19:27,103 --> 00:19:28,404
- That was a test.
485
00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:30,307
- Did I pass?
486
00:19:30,374 --> 00:19:31,809
- Do not leave me to go out
487
00:19:31,875 --> 00:19:33,811
and take all the credit, got it?
488
00:19:33,877 --> 00:19:36,681
- Don't you mean got it, Chef?
489
00:19:36,748 --> 00:19:38,650
- Now, I'm going to
take a smoke break.
490
00:19:38,717 --> 00:19:41,153
And your ass better
be here when I get back.
491
00:19:41,220 --> 00:19:42,188
- Ow, ow, ow.
492
00:19:42,254 --> 00:19:44,090
- Rule of fours.
493
00:19:44,156 --> 00:19:47,794
[suspenseful music]
494
00:19:47,861 --> 00:19:50,664
[applause]
495
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,933
- Welcome back to
the "Phineas" show.
496
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,037
Our first guest is
my band teacher.
497
00:19:56,104 --> 00:20:00,809
Let's give a very "Phineas"
welcome to Mr. Malouf.
498
00:20:00,876 --> 00:20:03,645
- Boo! You suck, Malouf!
- Boo!
499
00:20:03,712 --> 00:20:06,783
- Mr. Malouf, you thought
you could destroy me
500
00:20:06,850 --> 00:20:09,219
by making me second triangle.
501
00:20:09,285 --> 00:20:10,920
But look at what I've achieved.
502
00:20:10,988 --> 00:20:11,956
Any thoughts?
503
00:20:12,022 --> 00:20:14,058
- You're a genius,
Mr. Phreakers.
504
00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:16,327
I'm a total failure.
505
00:20:16,394 --> 00:20:18,263
Please forgive me.
506
00:20:18,330 --> 00:20:21,266
audience: Phineas! Phineas!
507
00:20:21,333 --> 00:20:23,536
- You know what? I forgive you.
508
00:20:23,603 --> 00:20:25,505
But you're still
getting the chowder.
509
00:20:25,571 --> 00:20:29,042
audience: Chowder!
Chowder! Chowder!
510
00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:30,844
- [screams]
511
00:20:30,911 --> 00:20:33,614
audience: Phineas!
Phineas! Phineas!
512
00:20:37,752 --> 00:20:39,254
- We're clear.
513
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,524
Just some cat getting high.
514
00:20:41,590 --> 00:20:43,726
- For keeping my secret safe,
515
00:20:43,793 --> 00:20:46,061
one platinum-level headset.
516
00:20:46,128 --> 00:20:49,099
You can now do whatever
your crippled heart desires
517
00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:50,534
in the Metaverse.
518
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,304
- Hookers. I want
to fuck hookers.
519
00:20:53,371 --> 00:20:56,808
- And worry not about
Phineas or his cowboy friend.
520
00:20:56,874 --> 00:21:00,379
They're in the Megashelter
and will soon be dead.
521
00:21:00,446 --> 00:21:02,080
[laughing] Bah!
522
00:21:02,147 --> 00:21:03,549
- Holy shit.
523
00:21:03,615 --> 00:21:05,785
They're gonna kill
Franklin and Phineas.
524
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:10,123
- [chuckles] Funny story...
525
00:21:10,190 --> 00:21:11,759
- Never mind that.
526
00:21:11,826 --> 00:21:14,061
That Zuckerberg
weirdo's a fucking psycho.
527
00:21:14,128 --> 00:21:16,464
He's gonna kill
Phineas and Franklin.
528
00:21:16,530 --> 00:21:20,135
Shit, he wants to kill
everyone and own everything.
529
00:21:20,202 --> 00:21:23,272
You got to get over to
that Megashelter now
530
00:21:23,339 --> 00:21:24,740
and save them.
531
00:21:24,807 --> 00:21:25,708
- I know what
you're doing, Kitty.
532
00:21:25,775 --> 00:21:27,076
This is a test.
533
00:21:27,143 --> 00:21:29,580
I don't want to get
the spatula again.
534
00:21:29,646 --> 00:21:31,348
- Listen to me, big fella.
535
00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:33,784
Your friends are in
danger, and they need you.
536
00:21:33,851 --> 00:21:35,787
- But you need me, Chef.
537
00:21:35,854 --> 00:21:37,689
- I'll cover for us and
handle the cooking.
538
00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:39,924
- Uh-uh, I promised
I wouldn't leave you
539
00:21:39,991 --> 00:21:42,228
to do this all by yourself.
540
00:21:42,294 --> 00:21:43,429
- All right, Freddy, look.
541
00:21:43,496 --> 00:21:45,097
I was trying to be nice.
542
00:21:45,164 --> 00:21:47,033
But the truth is,
having you here
543
00:21:47,100 --> 00:21:49,503
makes everything twice as long.
544
00:21:49,569 --> 00:21:50,804
You're a pain in my ass.
545
00:21:50,871 --> 00:21:53,608
Now, go save the other
two pains in my ass.
546
00:22:01,950 --> 00:22:04,119
- Franklin! Phineas!
547
00:22:06,723 --> 00:22:09,025
Franklin! Phineas!
548
00:22:11,795 --> 00:22:13,631
[groans] Think like Phineas.
549
00:22:13,697 --> 00:22:15,900
Think like Phineas.
Think like Phineas.
550
00:22:15,966 --> 00:22:17,302
- You were right, Phineas.
551
00:22:17,369 --> 00:22:19,738
You're the smartest
man in the world.
552
00:22:19,804 --> 00:22:21,773
Ever since I got
these big boobs,
553
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,843
my career has taken off.
554
00:22:23,910 --> 00:22:26,979
- So you're saying I'm a genius?
555
00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:27,947
- Y-yes.
556
00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:29,917
- Hesitation. Hesitation.
557
00:22:29,983 --> 00:22:32,085
You're getting the chowder.
558
00:22:32,152 --> 00:22:33,954
- [screams]
559
00:22:34,021 --> 00:22:36,791
audience: Phineas!
Phineas! Phineas!
560
00:22:36,858 --> 00:22:38,860
- Phineas! Phineas!
561
00:22:38,927 --> 00:22:41,697
- Oh, look who
decided to join us.
562
00:22:41,764 --> 00:22:44,767
Freddy, come to apologize?
563
00:22:44,833 --> 00:22:46,702
- No, I came to
get you out of here.
564
00:22:46,769 --> 00:22:48,138
- Get me out of here?
565
00:22:48,204 --> 00:22:49,139
You hear that?
566
00:22:49,205 --> 00:22:51,741
- Boo!
- You suck, Freddy!
567
00:22:51,808 --> 00:22:53,611
- Look around. I'm a genius.
568
00:22:53,678 --> 00:22:55,479
Everyone respects me.
569
00:22:55,546 --> 00:22:57,014
Why the hell would I leave?
570
00:22:57,081 --> 00:22:58,583
My life's never been better.
571
00:22:58,649 --> 00:22:59,952
Are you assholing me?
572
00:23:00,018 --> 00:23:03,288
audience: Chowder!
Chowder! Chowder!
573
00:23:03,355 --> 00:23:04,623
[laughter]
574
00:23:04,690 --> 00:23:05,892
- [blubbers]
575
00:23:05,959 --> 00:23:07,160
Shh.
576
00:23:07,226 --> 00:23:10,196
Now, listen, Phineas,
this is all fake.
577
00:23:10,263 --> 00:23:14,468
What's real is your life
with me, Franklin, and Kitty.
578
00:23:14,535 --> 00:23:16,570
And we have it pretty good.
579
00:23:16,637 --> 00:23:18,073
I don't know.
580
00:23:18,139 --> 00:23:21,710
Audience, you like me
staying right here, don't you?
581
00:23:21,776 --> 00:23:24,246
audience: Phineas! Phineas!
582
00:23:24,313 --> 00:23:26,882
- Mark Zuckenberg's
controlling your mind,
583
00:23:26,949 --> 00:23:29,319
making you think
all this is real.
584
00:23:29,386 --> 00:23:31,188
[dramatic music]
585
00:23:31,254 --> 00:23:33,090
- Holy shit, I remember.
586
00:23:33,156 --> 00:23:35,326
The goggles, getting pissed on.
587
00:23:35,393 --> 00:23:37,261
- [smooches]
- Ugh.
588
00:23:37,328 --> 00:23:38,329
Franklin!
589
00:23:38,396 --> 00:23:42,334
audience: Phineas! Phine--
590
00:23:42,401 --> 00:23:46,171
? ?
591
00:23:46,238 --> 00:23:47,607
- [gasps]
592
00:23:47,674 --> 00:23:52,078
? ?
593
00:23:52,145 --> 00:23:54,415
Franklin!
594
00:23:54,482 --> 00:23:56,817
- What are you doing, man?
595
00:23:56,884 --> 00:24:00,422
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
596
00:24:01,990 --> 00:24:06,229
- Zuckernerd kidnapped
us into the Metaverse, man.
597
00:24:06,295 --> 00:24:08,164
? ?
598
00:24:08,231 --> 00:24:12,102
Oh, my God, Zuckerberg's
grinding up the homeless.
599
00:24:12,169 --> 00:24:13,604
- Holy shit.
600
00:24:13,671 --> 00:24:14,872
I knew it wasn't beef.
601
00:24:14,938 --> 00:24:17,375
? ?
602
00:24:17,442 --> 00:24:20,045
- Franklin, Phineas,
you're alive!
603
00:24:20,111 --> 00:24:22,915
I went into the
Mentalverse and saved you.
604
00:24:22,982 --> 00:24:25,885
- Freddy, you fat hero.
605
00:24:25,951 --> 00:24:27,887
Why are you covered in chowder?
606
00:24:27,953 --> 00:24:30,057
- What do you mean?
You were there.
607
00:24:30,123 --> 00:24:32,392
- I'm beginning to
think I don't understand
608
00:24:32,459 --> 00:24:33,894
this Metaverse thing.
609
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:35,129
- Nobody does.
610
00:24:35,196 --> 00:24:38,099
Now, let's go stop this
Zuckerberg asshole.
611
00:24:39,333 --> 00:24:40,836
Whoa.
612
00:24:40,903 --> 00:24:43,072
Probably should have
shut this off earlier.
613
00:24:43,138 --> 00:24:44,473
Let's go.
614
00:24:48,078 --> 00:24:50,880
- As Humanitarian of the Year
615
00:24:50,947 --> 00:24:54,351
and one of the
sm-sm-smartest people
616
00:24:54,418 --> 00:24:55,853
to ever walk the Earth,
617
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,155
I humbly accept this award.
618
00:24:58,222 --> 00:24:59,324
- Stop!
619
00:24:59,391 --> 00:25:01,059
This guy's a murderer!
620
00:25:01,126 --> 00:25:03,495
- He's killing the homeless
and grinding them up
621
00:25:03,562 --> 00:25:06,232
into the meat you're
eating. [people gasp]
622
00:25:07,333 --> 00:25:09,302
- Wait, so we're eating people?
623
00:25:09,368 --> 00:25:12,473
- Dear God, we're
eating human flesh?
624
00:25:12,539 --> 00:25:13,941
- And bones!
625
00:25:14,007 --> 00:25:16,643
[people retching]
626
00:25:16,711 --> 00:25:18,646
- I'm Mark E-period Zuckerberg.
627
00:25:18,713 --> 00:25:19,981
Zuck-Zuck-Zuck! Zuck! Zuck!
628
00:25:20,048 --> 00:25:22,584
Zuck! Zuck! Zu-Zu-Zuck!
629
00:25:22,650 --> 00:25:24,053
I am leaving now.
630
00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:26,489
[retching continues]
631
00:25:26,555 --> 00:25:29,326
- Oh, yeah, and all
the credit for this meal
632
00:25:29,392 --> 00:25:31,328
goes to Chef Kitty.
633
00:25:31,394 --> 00:25:34,297
Let's give her a
round of applause.
634
00:25:34,364 --> 00:25:35,333
- [retches]
635
00:25:35,399 --> 00:25:37,502
- I appreciate the
sentiment, Freddy.
636
00:25:37,568 --> 00:25:40,605
But read the fucking room.
637
00:25:40,672 --> 00:25:43,075
[dramatic rock music]
638
00:25:43,142 --> 00:25:45,811
- I can't believe we were
almost turned into hamburgers.
639
00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:48,681
When I die, turn
me into a hot dog.
640
00:25:48,748 --> 00:25:50,917
- You're already
mostly hot dog, big man.
641
00:25:50,984 --> 00:25:53,120
- Oh, boy. What a week.
642
00:25:53,187 --> 00:25:55,289
Thanks for saving
our asses, Fred.
643
00:25:55,356 --> 00:25:58,325
- And for making us
see that actual reality
644
00:25:58,392 --> 00:26:00,829
is better than altered reality.
645
00:26:00,896 --> 00:26:05,935
Now let's get high as fuck!
646
00:26:06,002 --> 00:26:08,471
[water bubbling]
647
00:26:08,521 --> 00:26:13,071
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