All language subtitles for Support Your Local Gunfighter 1971 HD

We are gathered here today...

to consign the mortal remains
of Millard Frymore...

or whatever his name really was.

I ain't really got a whole lot to say
about Millard...

because he only arrived amongst us
two days ago...

and was promptly struck down...

by whatever deadly disease it was
that struck him down.

We can only hope
whatever deadly disease it was...

it wasn't particularly contagious.

And with that in mind, I suggest
we all bow our heads in devout prayer.

Heavenly Father, we hereby consign...

to your tender mercy all that remains....

Get out!

All that remains of one Millard Frymore.

Origin unknown, cause of death unknown.

And of considerable concern
to those of us...

who have been thrown in contact with him
during the last two days.

Millard was struck down...

in what was evidently the prime of his life.

In fact, he was took from us so fast...

he never even got a chance
to unpack his suitcase.

However...

inasmuch as we were the last to know
poor Millard here on earth...

and insofar as we were all drawn
to this godforsaken country...

in search of a common goal,
I'm certain you will agree with me....

-Pa!
-What is the matter with you?

-Take a look.
-Ain't you got any reverence for anything?

-It's gold.
-What?

Look, it's gold.

I'd like to remind everyone...

we're here to consign the remains
of Millard Frymore.

-It's gold, Henry.
-Gold?

Down there, in the grave.

What?

Get this coffin out of the way
and have a look.

No, you don't.

Get out of my gold mine.

Get out of my gold mine!

Gold!

It just doesn't seem possible
that a town could get in this condition...

in the short time it's been in existence.

Lynchings, gunfights...

and that drunken revelry going on
at Madame Orr's House 24 hours a day.

I tell you, a decent woman
is not safe on these streets.

I think the women are safe enough
for the most part.

I mean, we only got a couple
that'd be of much interest to anyone.

Outside the dancehall girls, they are pretty
good at handling themselves.

Or in a particular situation.

Now this may be very funny
to the members of the town council...

but we mine owners
haven't found anything to laugh about...

since we started in business.

We don't think it's funny, Tom.
We just don't know what to do about it.

What we need is a new mayor...

and a town council
that does know what to do about it.

What kind of talk is that?

The only the reason I'm mayor
and the others are councilmen...

is because nobody else wanted the jobs.

And don't forget,
we're all mine owners ourselves.

Do you enjoy giving 20% of everything
from the mines to the Danby family?

Why would we enjoy it?

All right, then. Let's do something about it.

What? You all know the situation.

There's us, here in Calendar.

There's Galena,
where we gotta ship our gold.

There's the Danby ranch,
halfway in between the two.

-The road even runs through their property.
-Then we'll build the road around them.

How? They own that whole valley.

Besides, if they don't get their 20%,
they just hold up every stage and take it.

All right. But we've got to do something,
even if it means bringing troops in here.

Troops?

What troops? From where?
The nearest troops are 500 miles.

All right. Then we recruit our own.

How? We can't recruit enough
dishwashers. How will we recruit troops?

Nobody wants to stop prospecting
long enough to take a bath...

let alone join an army.

It all happened so fast we just ain't
had a chance to get organized yet.

-And the Danbys are taking advantage of it.
-There goes one of them now.

-Which one is he?
-Joe.

Out of the father and the three brothers,
he's the second toughest.

-They all act like they own the place.
-The way things are set up now, they do.

And it's gonna stay that way
till we can find ourselves a sheriff...

that doesn't turn tail and run
the minute someone takes a shot at him.

Whiskey.

All right, you all saw it...

and it was a fair fight.

He drew first.

So it was self-defense.

I saw it, Joe.
He drew first. Sure as anything.

You couldn't call it anything else
but self-defense.

It may have been a lot of things,
but self-defense it wasn't.

And he didn't draw first, you did.

-What do you mean by that?
-It's an old trick.

You did it pretty well.
Not real well, but pretty well.

You feinted with your left shoulder,
getting him to go for his gun...

while you were going for yours
with your right hand at the same time.

It's an old Arizona trick, but I've seen it
used as far north as Montana.

Are you calling me a liar?

You heard every word I said.
I didn't call you a liar.

I said you feinted him into drawing
with your left shoulder...

while you went for your gun
with the right hand.

-So what?
-You beat that poor man to the draw.

He's dead and you're alive.
That's the whole idea of the game, isn't it?

-What's your name?
-Jason McCullough. What's yours?

Joe Danby. And you had
better remember it.

I'll remember it, Joe.

That's about all I'll do the rest of my life,
is go around remembering your name.

-The bread is on the table in front of you.
-Thank you.

Why, you!

Is this one
of "Emma's Tasty Home Cooked Meals"?

-That's it, mister.
-They charge $3.00 for this.

That's what they call inflation.

Sometimes it catches you
right in between mouthfuls.

Is there really any gold in this town?

How long did it take you to get that?

All yesterday afternoon,
a good part of this morning.

Where could a man find a place to sleep?

If you mean a room, you can't.
Down the end of the street, you get a cot.

-How much?
-$20. Eight-hour shift.

Say a man was willing to go to work,
to get himself a stake.

How would he go about it?

-You don't want a job?
-No.

I figure the way prices are around here...

I may go broke about 2:30 this afternoon.

They got a bulletin board
with that kind of stuff at the assay office.

Thank you.

Hold it!

Okay, go ahead on.

Fight.

Out of my way. Go around.

I told you to get out of there.

I'll kill you.

I'm going to tell you something....

Watch where you're grabbing.

-What about you?
-What about me?

-You want to grab something?
-Everything looks too slippery.

-What does that mean?
-Nothing.

You look too clean to suit me.

Better give me some of those there.

-You the man I talk to about--
-Wait your turn, mister.

...about the job of sheriff?

-You interested in the job of sheriff?
-Maybe. How much does it pay?

None of our sheriffs
ever lived long enough to find out.

Why don't you go outside
and watch the fight?

The ladies, too. Very good fight out there.

You can watch it, too.

Okay, come on.

Let's get out. Get moving. Come on.
All right, let's go.

-I'm Olly Perkins, the mayor here.
-Jason McCullough.

Fred Johnson, Henry Jackson, Tom Devery,
three of our original settlers.

Fred and Henry
are members of the town council.

-I represent the mine owners.
-Nice to meet you, gentlemen.

What that fellow said just a minute ago
ain't strictly true.

We've had three sheriffs the past two
months, but only two of them got killed.

-What about the other one?
-He quit kind of sudden-like.

I don't think he had exactly the right kind
of temperament for the position.

You never have said anything
about the pay.

For the right kind of man, $150 a month.

With the spiraling prices
you have around here...

that'd only allow a man
to eat and sleep about eight days a month.

Job includes room and board.

Not at Emma's Tasty Food emporium?

At my house. My daughter
does the cooking.

I think it's only fair to tell you...

that I'd only be interested in this job
on a temporary basis.

Actually, I was on my way to Australia
when I heard about your gold strike.

I decided to travel through here and see
if I couldn't pick myself up a little stake.

What do you want to go to Australia for?

It's the last of the frontier country.
Thought I might do a little pioneering.

I thought this was frontier country
and we was pioneers.

So did I.

To get back to the sheriff's job, if I take it,
it'd have to be with the understanding...

that I get time off to do the prospecting
I came here to do in the first place.

Yeah. You ain't said nothing yet
about your qualifications for the job.

Don't worry about that.
If I take it, you'll be glad you got me.

It ain't just a question
of you taking the job...

it's also a question
of you being able to handle it.

Olly, we ain't in much of a position
to be choosy.

Him being willing to talk about it at all
certainly shows the right attitude.

I don't care what it shows. I'm the mayor.

It's my responsibility to hire a sheriff
that's not only got qualifications...

but that won't get killed the first time
he sticks his nose out the door.

Olly, haven't we already....

There you are.

-What's your point, Mr. McCullough?
-No point. An exhibition of marksmanship.

The bullet went through the hole
in the center.

Maybe it did and maybe it didn't.

-It did. You can take my word for it.
-I'd like to take your word, but....

Would you mind doing it again?

-You want me to do it again?
-If you don't mind.

-I already shot one hole in your roof.
-That's all right.

I hope you didn't take offense
at anything I may have said earlier, sir.

No.

Gentlemen,
just to keep the record straight...

$150 a month for the room
and board is fine.

But I've got to do my prospecting...

because basically I'm on my way
to Australia. I wouldn't--

You just name your terms, mister.
We'll rush to meet them.

Fine. As long as everything's straight.

Is there some kind of badge
that goes with this job?

You bet there is.

I'm afraid it's a little bent up.

It must have saved the life
of whoever was wearing it.

It would have if it hadn't been for them
other bullets flying in from everywhere.

-Gentlemen, do we have a jail here?
-Do we have a jail?

A brand-new one with two cells
that the whole community built last month.

Just like a barn raising.

Even the dancehall girls showed up,
made sandwiches, carried on like crazy.

It was designed
to be practically escape-proof.

Good. Because I think I'm gonna have
to throw a couple of people in it.

There's only one thing.
This new jail has sure got everything.

Even a new stove with a coffee pot
already on it.

The only thing it hasn't got
is iron bars for the cells.

You're kidding.

Which we had to send away for,
but they haven't arrived yet.

But it's got everything else.

It's got glass windows, and brooms,
and kerosene lamps, and you name it.

-Just no bars for the cells.
-That's right.

All right. I'll think of something.

You ain't wanted for anything anywhere,
are you, Mr. McCullough?

Not that it matters.

Because we understand
how them little things can happen.

No, I'm not wanted for anything anywhere.

Do you realize the chance you was taking
asking him a question like that?

He might've took offense
and backed out of the deal.

I'm the mayor of this town.
And I got responsibilities.

The question had to be asked.

Mr. Mayor...

if I could get some men on this pump here,
we could stop this thing in short order.

Sure thing, Sheriff.
Give us a hand, will you, men?

All right, men. Let her go.

A little more.

Break it up.

Okay, cut it.

-What do you think you are trying to do?
-Stopping a fight.

-Who are you?
-I'm the new sheriff.

We got a new sheriff.

Let's see if he scares
as easy as the last sheriff.

I want all you people
to quit disturbing the peace.

-Clean up this mess.
-Yes, sir. Anything else?

-You got a name?
-Jake.

Jake, I want you to go into the Mint Saloon.

There's a fellow in there
by the name of Joe Danby.

You tell him I remember his name,
he's under arrest for murder.

I'll be in to pick him up in about 20 minutes.

-You talking to me?
-You hard of hearing?

You want me to tell Joe Danby
that he's under arrest for murder?

-What are you gonna do after he kills me?
-Then I'll arrest him for both murders.

-Where's the jail?
-Just follow me, Sheriff.

-You won't find a better jail for 200 miles.
-That is, if you can find one at all.

-Everything seems to be in order.
-Our last sheriff was a good organizer.

Yellow, clear through,
but a good organizer.

We should be getting the bars in
any day now.

-That ought to do it.
-That ought to do what, Sheriff?

That ought to take care of it
till we get the bars in.

I've got my bed roll
and a few other things over at the stable.

I'd like to go pick them up
then get settled in where I'm gonna stay.

Sure thing, Sheriff.
I have a room for you at my house.

Good. Shall we get on over there?
Then I better pick up that Danby fellow.

Maybe there's something
you better know about the Danbys.

Why bother the Sheriff about that stuff?
He wants to get settled.

We can fill him in on the whole town
after he's settled in on the job.

-You coming, Mayor?
-I'll be right with you, Sheriff.

This is a little bit like murder.
I hope you know that.

Just 'cause we've lost three sheriffs
don't mean we're gonna lose four.

-Our luck is bound to change.
-What about his luck?

Prudy?

-Just put your things over there, Sheriff.
-All right.

I want you to meet my daughter, Sheriff.
She's a good cook and a fine-looking girl.

Takes after her dear departed mother.

-Her mother died?
-No, she just departed.

Come on, Sheriff. I'll show you the parlor.

That little organ there
come all the way from Düsseldorf.

Most of the furniture was shipped out
through St. Louis and Chicago.

This is my desk where I do my mayor work.

That's very nice.

I guess you could say
this is the about finest house in town.

Let me show you the dining room.
That's where you'll be having your meals.

Prudy, I want you to meet someone.

This is the dining room.

-You sure have a nice place here, Mayor.
-Thank you. How about a drink?

-Water, if you have some.
-Water?

Sure thing, Sheriff.
Our pump is right inside the kitchen.

Right inside the house?

There's the pump right there.

Sheriff, before you go down
to arrest Joe Danby...

couple of things I guess you should know.

All right.

The Danbys, there's four of them.
Father and three sons.

They're all pretty tough customers.

-Outlaws?
-No, not exactly.

But in many ways
you might say they're like outlaws.

-How is that?
-They prefer to do pretty much as they like.

They get real nasty
when anybody tries to stop them.

You mean you don't want me
to arrest this boy?

No, I don't mean that at all.

It's just that it's a new idea.
It takes a little bit of getting used to.

I stood right there in that saloon...

and watched him
gun a man down in cold blood.

I believe you, Sheriff. I mean, it's just
the kind of thing you'd expect Joe to do.

-But are you sure it wasn't self-defense?
-Not a chance.

I mean, sometimes them things
happen so fast.

It didn't happen all that fast.

Look, Mr. Perkins,
you're the mayor of this town.

And if you order me not to arrest this man,
you're the boss.

'Course, I'll have to return this badge,
because that is no way to run a town.

I agree with you, Sheriff.
I couldn't agree with you more.

I'll expect all the law-abiding citizens of
this community to back me up in this job.

They will, Sheriff.
Maybe not all of them. Not right at first.

You see, it's like I told you.
I'm just on my way to Australia.

You go right ahead
and do what you think is best.

I better go and alert everybody that....

We're all behind you, Sheriff.
Don't give it another thought.

You don't need any help with Joe Danby,
do you?

-No, I can handle it.
-Good.

-You're the strangest girl I ever met.
-Go away.

Do you always
show this peculiar side of your nature...

or am I just lucky my first day in town?

I suppose you have some reason
for sitting up there like that.

Ordinarily a girl doesn't get undressed...

pour a bucket of water over her head,
and then go climb a tree.

I'm warning you.

-Hi, Mrs. Danvers.
-What in the world?

Prudy, is this man bothering you?

-Do you know this young lady, ma'am?
-Of course.

That's Prudy Perkins.
She lives right here in this house.

Does she have any past history
of strange behavior like this?

Why, no.

Prudy has always been a sweet,
normal, lovable....

Of course,
there were a couple of times last year....

What happened last year?

Wasn't really anything, but....
At the annual town picnic...

she got her hair caught
in the ice-cream freezer.

Really?

I think we ought to be merciful...

and forget about
this whole unfortunate incident.

See you, ma'am.

Sheriff, I didn't go down there
and tell Joe like you asked.

Why not?

'Cause nobody's paying me
to take chances like that.

You never know
how that Joe is gonna react.

Why should you worry
about what Joe thinks?

Because he's mean, Sheriff. And he's nasty.

He enjoys killing people.

All them Danbys enjoy things like that.

-You're faster than Joe.
-Who says so?

I do. I've seen you both draw.
You're faster than he is.

Supposing it's true,
why should the matter ever come up?

Jake.

How would you like the job as my deputy?

I'd hate it.
Even if I lived through it, I'd hate it.

I don't know who talked you into this job
or how much they're paying you...

but you gotta believe me, it ain't enough.

He's expecting you.

Some of these other people
told him you was coming.

I hear you're gonna try and arrest me.

You don't look near as tough as some
of them other sheriffs we've had lately...

particularly that old boy
who ran off in about an hour and a half...

after he took the job.

Joe, you just make me feel tired all over
when you talk like that.

What do you mean by that?

It's bad enough to have to kill a man...

without having to listen
to a whole lot of stupid talk from him first.

And remember, Joe, I've seen you draw.

All right, Sheriff, hold it.

Now drop your gun belt.

-I couldn't let him shoot you in the back.
-You could have.

Is this the kind of town
you people want for yourselves?

Is this the kind of life you want to lead?

Three killings in one saloon alone.
The sun hasn't even gone down yet.

Any more of this foolishness,
and I'm gonna close this place up tight.

-Yes, sir. I wouldn't blame you a bit, sir.
-Pick it up, Joe.

Go on, pick it up.

I'm gonna get you for this.

You are the toughest-talking blowhard
I ever heard.

You might as well come on.

Whether you like it or not,
we're on the same side now.

Come on, Joe.

Just take it easy, boys.

Me and the sheriff
takes a dim view of showoffs with guns.

Remember what the Sheriff said.
No more shooting till the sun goes down.

-Is that what he said?
-That's close enough, brother.

Drinks are on the house!

Jake, why don't you
look around the desk there...

and see if you can find yourself
a deputy sheriff's badge.

I never said I was taking no job as a deputy.

You're just trying
to corner me into this thing, Sheriff.

I'm a little surprised
at what's happening to me, too.

I was riding through here
on my way to Australia....

And where do you think you're going?

-This is just plain dumb and stupid.
-Are you calling the sheriff stupid?

Do I have to listen to him?
He's nothing but the town character.

Was the town character.

I'm now a deputy sheriff, and probably
the second-fastest gun around here.

-Did you hear that?
-He probably is.

And if he isn't...

he will be after I've had a chance
to work with him for a couple of days.

Come on, Joe.

Joe, the right cell on the right
here is yours.

We don't have any bars yet.

-You're kidding.
-That's what I said.

But we're gonna operate
just as if the bars were there.

You stay on that side of the line,
and everything should work out fine.

What?

While you're in this jail...

you stay on that side of the line
and you and I will just get along fine.

You expect me to sit here in this lousy cell
on that....

What is that red stuff
all over the floor there?

That's the poor fellow
that crossed the line earlier today.

All right, Joe, you just stay right there
and behave yourself.

-Maybe if you wanted something to read....
-Read?

No, I guess you wouldn't.

Sorry.

-I see you found a badge.
-Yeah.

Now we gonna set out
to clean up this town?

I guess that's about it.

All by ourselves?

We won't turn down any help
that's cheerfully offered.

Nobody's gonna offer no help,
cheerful or any other way.

I think you're probably right, Jake.

How much money am I making in this job?

Let's see. I'm the sheriff.
They're paying me $150 a month.

Say we put your salary to about half that,
plus room and board...

plus all the ammunition you need
to carry on the job.

I haven't checked out your employment
with the Mayor and town council yet--

You mean there's a chance
they might turn me down?

No, I don't think so.

No, I think their attitude is gonna be:

"If we found somebody
willing to take the job...

don't rock the boat."

You can bet
that's what their attitude is gonna be.

You ever been sheriff of a town
that needed cleaning up before?

No, I haven't.

-Ever been sheriff of any kind of town?
-Not that, either.

But the Mayor seemed to think
my qualifications suited the job perfectly.

He'd have thought that if you were blind
in both eyes and crippled in both legs.

I think you've got the situation pegged.

Want me to warm some coffee?

I've never turned down a cup of coffee
in my life.

-How long you been out West?
-About four years.

-From where?
-East.

I was raised up in Indiana.

That could be either good or bad.

Them four years you've been out West,
what you been doing?

Mostly I've been on my way to Australia.

For four years?

It takes some people
a little longer than others.

-What's in Australia?
-A lot of things. You'd be surprised.

Any other questions, Jake?

No, that's all right.

If there's anything I want, it's a deputy
who's at ease in his mind about everything.

You ain't got one.

I don't know where you're gonna get one
in this town, either.

Why Australia?

You'd know
if you'd ever read a book about it.

I've never even seen a book about it.

They got one up in the library in Chicago.

If you're ever up that way
you ought to take a look at it.

They got pictures and everything.

They got some little people there,
about like that.

They got a stick that when they throw
it away, it comes right back at them.

They got some animals over there.
They got one that hops and will box you...

and carries things in its tummy.

When you shot that friend of Joe's
in the back...

you fired two shots.

I figure they went in about that far apart.

Pretty sloppy shooting, Jake.

I was in a hurry to save your life.
I wasn't trying to group my shots.

If you'd been standing
five feet further away,

you'd have missed him entirely.

I'd say that was pretty
pitiful shooting, Jake.

-You see that bottom nail on the right?
-Yeah.

-That's weird.
-What's weird?

-That anybody could shoot like that.
-It's just a matter of practice.

Then how come nobody ever heard of you?

A man who can shoot like you do
and draws as fast as you can...

how come you ain't got a reputation?

What would I want with a reputation?
It's a good way to get yourself killed.

You just go on practicing
while I put Joe back in jail.

Joe, I took the bullets out.

You just won't play the game, will you?

I keep laying down the rules.
You don't pay any attention.

You just wait till my pa and two brothers
find out that you got me in here, boy.

I'm looking forward to meeting
your whole family.

Come on.

Bad enough I had to be dragged out
of that saloon in front of my friends.

I doubt if you have all that many friends
that you need to be upset.

Then I have to sit there in that lousy cell.

Pa is gonna skin me alive
for getting caught.

He won't mind you murdering that man.
He just doesn't like for you to get caught?

I didn't murder anybody.
That was self-defense.

-It was him or me.
-We'll let the judge decide that.

We do have a judge around here, don't we?

We never needed one till you come
to town and ruined everything.

-Spoiled all your fun, Joe?
-You can say that again.

That's funny.

That's real funny.

Hope you ain't got no religious convictions
against drinking, Sheriff?

Not since I gave up my parish.

I'm only kidding, Mayor.

Mayor, what about my deputy?

No problem.
But I'm curious as to why you picked Jake.

Jake backed me up when it really counted.

I'd have to wait and find that out
about another man.

Then it might be too late.

How about a judge?

The need for one
ain't exactly been felt up to now.

That's what Joe said.

But if I can't appoint one, who can?

That must have been some show
you put on at the saloon this afternoon.

-Kind of sobered up the whole town.
-That's good.

Maybe. Maybe not.

It has been a lot of fun around here
up to now.

I mean, everything
all kind of wide open and relaxed.

Nobody looking down their noses...

at anybody who happened
to shoot somebody else.

Nobody poking their noses
into nobody else's business...

without getting their big noses blasted off
in the process.

I guess now that we got law and order,
churches will start moving in.

That's usually the next thing that happens.

And then the women will start
forming committees and having bazaars.

Then they'll chase Madame Orr's girls
out of town...

or make them get married
or something even worse.

But what the hell.
Like you said, the law is the law...

and we all got to face up to it some time.

-When did I say that?
-You know what I mean.

I was just a little short of money
when you offered me this job.

But you didn't have to take it. I mean,
there's dozens of other jobs around.

Don't worry. I'm not gonna keep it too long.

Remember, I'm just passing through
on my way to Australia.

I'll drink to that.

-What are you doing?
-You was on fire, Prudy!

-Prudy, you was on fire.
-Fire?

I'm sick and tired of these stupid things
that have been happening to me!

And somebody better do something
about it soon!

That's quite a daughter
you got yourself there.

I think she's crazy.

Why would you think a thing like that?
I know why I think it.

She's had some terrible shocks.

She got wealthy almost overnight.
Maybe it unhinged her a little bit.

Then she was always kind of big for her
age. Puberty hit her hard. That'll do it.

-I didn't know that.
-It will!

As a disinterested stranger,
how does she hit you?

I mean, you are disinterested, ain't you?

I think you could safely say that, yes.

She's a rich little old gal
in her own name, Sheriff.

Sole owner of the Millard Frymore
Memorial Mining Company.

You're meaning,
whoever marries her gets the mine.

Shaft and all.

That won't hurt her
in certain circles will it?

I'd better fry us up something to eat.

No, thank you. I better go and relieve Jake.

This is his first night on duty, you know.

-You expecting trouble?
-What do you think?

The Danbys.

Some people think
you could have waited a couple of days...

before you stuck your nose
in the biggest hornet's nest we've got.

When you set out clean up a mess...

you don't sit around
watching it get bigger and bigger.

I guess you know
what you're doing, Sheriff.

I don't know what I could have said
to give you that idea, Mayor.

Puberty.

You ain't gonna stick to your plan
of handling this all by yourself, are you?

Since when did it take more than one
Danby to take care of a little thing like this?

You know what a tiger you are, Pa.

You're just likely
to go charging in there and--

-And then what?
-Nothing. I didn't mean nothing.

You ain't got brains enough
to mean nothing.

Now, you two go on in
and order yourselves a drink.

I'll be back with Joe before you
can finish it.

I believe you've got one of my children
in your jail here.

How dare you walk into my office
and pull a gun on me?

-Get your finger out of the end of my gun.
-How dare you pull a gun on me?

I said take your finger
out of the end of my gun.

Until I do, you better take your finger off
that trigger and let the hammer down slow.

If that gun had gone off,
it would've blowed up in my face.

It wouldn't have done my finger
a hell of a lot of good, would it?

-What can I do for you, Mr. Danby?
-My son, Joe.

It seems Joe murdered a man
this afternoon.

The way I heard it,
he killed a man in a fair gunfight.

-I was standing right there.
-You were standing right where?

In the saloon when Joe killed him.

That was real smart of him, wasn't it?

I've been around Joe all afternoon, and I
haven't seen him do one smart thing yet.

-Is there anything else?
-Can I see him?

Why didn't you take that approach
when you first came in? He's right in there.

I'm obliged to you.

-Hi, Pa.
-What is this?

No bars in the window, no bars in the cell.

No bars nowhere.

-What's keeping you in here?
-That guy out there.

He won't let me move two inches
without jumping down my throat.

Besides, he lies to me
about whether or not my gun is loaded.

-He does what?
-Are you gonna get me out of here or not?

Never mind that.

Who was it you killed?

I don't know his name,
he was some bum in the saloon.

Besides, he drew first.

Are you gonna believe me
or that liar out there?

-Why don't you shut up?
-It wasn't anybody that we know.

Pa, you always told me no jail's been built
that could hold a Danby.

Now they've built one.

You'll have to stay here for
a couple of days.

But we run this town.

I gotta throw in with that Sheriff...

that you don't exactly dazzle nobody
with your intelligence.

You just sit tight here
till I've had a chance to think this thing out.

Couldn't you at least have done it
when the Sheriff weren't looking?

He wasn't the sheriff when he saw me do it.

I didn't think of that before.

That could be a loophole
to help you to get me out of here.

Don't you try to do nothing
about this situation yourself.

Just leave that to me and the boys.

That's a lousy jail you got in there.

We're just getting started.

-What's he supposed to be?
-That's my deputy.

Last week he was shoveling....
He was working in the stable.

He's been promoted.

I'm gonna find out
what's happened to this town.

What did Danby want?

He just came in and we talked awhile...

then he went in to see Joe.

Then he came back out,
we talked a little more, and then he left.

You know...

he strikes me as being a lonely man.

Lonely? Danby?

He's a mean,
no-good, low-down bushwhacker.

There, you see? No wonder he's lonely.

He stuck his finger in the end of your what?

Would you shut up? Everybody will look.

I don't really understand what happened.
You said you had your gun on him and--

I ain't gonna sit here
and explain it all over again.

I don't have to explain nothing to you two.

Instead of asking stupid questions,
why don't you come up...

with some helpful suggestions?

Why don't the three of us
go over there together?

I don't care if he's the fastest gun
to ever hit anywhere.

-Who says he's the fastest?
-Everybody.

-That's all they're talking about in town.
-What could he do against three of us?

He could kill two of us.

You ain't talking like yourself, Pa.

Yeah, it was always you charging in
and us trying to hold you back.

We ain't just going to leave Joe
in there to get hung?

Of course we ain't.

Who says we gotta take care of this sheriff?

Who says anybody has to do it?

Why don't we run him out of town
like the last sheriff?

Because this one won't go.

He didn't throw a scare into you,
did he, Pa?

I didn't mean it the way it sounded.

I didn't mean,
"Did he throw a scare at you?"

I just meant.... What did he do to you, Pa?

He maybe made me
a little more thoughtful.

He made me realize that now we've got a
little money for the first time in our lives...

and the chance to get a whole lot more...

it's a dumb time to find out
who's the fastest with a gun...

us or some showoff that might be lucky,
even if he wasn't good.

If we don't take care of him, who does?

There's always some tramp
that's good with a gun who can be hired.

You always said
that the Danbys fight their own battles.

Maybe I was talking
about another branch of the family.

I'm gonna take a little trip tomorrow.

And I want you two to behave yourselves
while I'm gone.

I don't want nobody
to make no martyr out of this sheriff.

What's a martyr?

I'm sorry. They didn't use words like that
in third grade, did they?

How would I know? I didn't get that far.

You remember when I was stuck
all them years in the second grade.

Shut up.

Sheriff?

-Can I talk to you a minute?
-Sure, Miss Prudy.

Could we sit down?

Sure.

How can I be of service to you, Miss Prudy?

-What?
-How can I be of service to you?

What do you mean, of service?

I don't think I mean anything by it.
What do you think I mean?

Look, I'm just a dumb little old girl
from a hick little old town...

in a jerkwater part of the country. What?

Nothing. You said you're a dumb
little old girl from a little old hick town--

I know what I said.

All I wanted...

was to explain some of those stupid,
silly things that you saw me doing today.

What stupid, silly things, Miss Prudy?

-How about when I burned my dress off?
-That could happen to anyone.

How about in the mud...

when I was trying to defend myself
from that common pervert?

That's just one of those things
that any over-stimulated girl...

might get herself caught into.

How about up in the tree,
half-naked, dripping wet?

That one could take a little explanation.

It was just one of those days
when everything seems to go wrong.

Every one of those ridiculous things
that you saw happen...

has a perfectly simple explanation.

Not that it matters. I just thought
it was dumb to go around having such an...

attractive man
thinking I was a hopeless loony.

Loony maybe, but hopeless....

You think I'm attractive?

I don't think a girl would just curl up
and die because you smiled at her...

but yes, I think you're attractive.

I can see that you're a young lady...

who believes in laying her cards
on the table.

-I believe in what?
-Laying her cards on the table.

When a girl does that, I think that a man...

he should lay his cards on the table, too.

Now anybody can see
you're a very pretty and attractive girl.

Any man in his right mind
would be only too glad...

to take you out on a picnic
or out for a walk in the evening.

I'd feel privileged to do just that.

However, if you're thinking
of anything more serious...

I'm afraid I have to warn you
that I'm on my way to Australia...

and I'm just passing through here.

-Why, you conceited--
-Conceited?

I'm only trying to tell you
I'm on my way to Australia.

Who cares where you're on your way to?

Any girl who's thinking...

about entering into any permanent
relationship would be glad to know--

I'm not thinking of entering
into one of those.

What's the matter with you?

You think something
is the matter with me?

Do I think there's....

There isn't enough time
to tell you how much.

Good night.

You all right, Miss Prudy?

You shut up and mind your own business!

-Damn.
-Prudy!

You shut up, too.

Do you see anything?

No. What are we looking for?

What are we looking for? We're looking
for nuggets, veins, the mother lode.

What's the mother lode?

I am getting the horrible feeling you know
even less about gold mining than I do.

Of course I don't know anything
about gold mining.

Why do you think I brought you along?

I thought everyone around here
knew about mining.

I don't.

Might be able to give you a few tips
about shoveling....

Working around a stable.

But I don't know nothing
about hunting gold.

Mind if I put this stuff down?

No, you better not.

If there's anything
I do know about prospecting...

you've got to keep on the move.

It's heavy.

Let me redistribute the weight for you.

I feel like a jackass.

That ought to do it.

-Come on, Jack.
-Jake.

You're a pretty good fisherman, Jake.

-This is more like it.
-More like what?

This is more like the kind of place
I want to go gold mining in.

What makes you think
there's any gold around here?

What makes you think there isn't?

I suppose it don't bother you that Joe's
gonna be miles away when we get back.

Not unless he's learned to travel fast
handcuffed to a potbellied stove.

What do we do now?

We ought to have lunch, take a little rest,
then you start digging.

Jake, how should we ought to split
whatever we find?

60-40?

Sixty for who and 40 for who?

There, you see?
See what gold does to men?

We haven't even found anything
and already we're arguing about it.

Sixty for who and 40 for who?

I just wish you could see the greed
in your face.

What you mean is 60 for you and 40 for me.

Thank you, Jake,
that's very generous of you.

What did you do
before you became my deputy?

I did odd jobs.

Like what?

For one thing,
I was a whore holder at Madame Horse's....

A horse holder at Madame Orr's house.

-You were a what?
-Horse holder.

On Saturday night that hitch rack out front
would get full...

and I'd hold the extra horses,
sometimes all night.

It seems to me
like you spend a lot of time with horses.

One end or the other.

Of course, I come by natural,
my daddy stole horses for a living.

They hung him.

That's a terrible thing for a sheriff
to suddenly find out about his deputy.

If you hadn't been in such a hurry
to shove this job down my throat...

you might have found out a lot of things.

-Want my badge back?
-Don't be silly.

You better clean up those fish.

I'll take a little nap.

-Sure it won't disturb you none?
-No.

Just don't rattle the pots and pans.

I'll be wanting you boys to ride into town
a little more quietly from now on.

You drove your point home real good.

Good.

That kind of brightens up the whole place.

At least I don't feel so naked and stupid
sitting in here day after day.

If Jake comes in, would you tell him I went
to the hardware store to see the Mayor?

Have you seen my daddy?

Not since the night he came in here
and we had that little chat.

Don't you worry. I'm sure he
and your brothers are planning a jailbreak.

You think so?

What else would they be doing?

Where will I find the Sheriff?

I imagine he's in the jail, across the....

No, wait a minute.

There he is now, just coming out
of the hardware store there.

-Much obliged.
-Pleasure.

Sheriff.

Anybody know who he was?

I think he just rode into town.

He asked me where you was, I seen you
coming out of the hardware store there....

Thanks for pointing me out to him.

Hold it just a minute.

You don't want
to go in there right now, honey.

Wait here just a minute,
I'll come back and I'll join you.

Honey, I think I just been....

Did you ever see him before?

After lunch....

Good afternoon, Sheriff.

We didn't make any dust at all today.

-Another one of them just rode into town.
-You sure?

You can't miss a professional gunfighter.

They got a look about them
ain't like anyone else...

and he's been asking around
trying to find you.

I'm sure getting sick of all this stuff.

It's the kind of stuff
that would make me sick, too.

Come on.

Why do these jaspers
always have to hit town at mealtime?

-Are you going to kill another man?
-I'm sure we all hope it turns out that way.

It sure is a childish way
for a grown man to make a living.

Go for your gun, Sheriff.

You go to hell.

And stay out!

If either of you opens his fat stupid mouth...

I'll chase you right out of town,
after that other yellow dog.

Leave the bottle.

All right, now he's done it.

-Who?
-That sheriff.

-What's he done?
-He's pushed me too far this time.

I've been bending over backwards
up to now.

But that's all finished.

You know
I've been bending over backwards.

You sure ain't let him push you
into no corner...

where you could be provoked
into losing your temper.

Right, but from now on
I'm tired of being a nice fellow.

Pa, you been touching up your hair again?

-What do you mean, again?
-Nothing, just looks better in spots.

-What do you mean, spots?
-Nothing.

What are we gonna do, Pa?

-Get Joe out of jail.
-How?

Leave that to me. I got it all figured out.

We'll do it tonight.

Now you get ready.
This is gonna happen awful fast.

Pa.

Nothing, it's all right.

When I yell go, we all go together.

And use your spurs.

All ready?

Now he's really done it!

-Who?
-That sheriff!

I could have told you all
it wasn't gonna work.

Why not?

Because they set these bars in too solid.

-What do you know about anything?
-I'm the one that helped to set them in.

I want you two to round up the horses.

And I want you to ride over
to your Uncle Milt's.

Tell them to bring Steve, George,
and young Milt.

And, Tom, you ride out to Uncle Ira's.

Tell him to bring Billy, Jack,
and anyone else he can think to bring.

-I ain't fooling around no longer.
-That's a two-day ride to Uncle Ira's.

I know how far it is.

Stop at the ranch and pick up some grub.

Tell Milt and Ira
we'll meet at the ranch Friday.

And if any of them feel
they just don't want to come...

you just remind them of the mortgages
I've been helping them to pay.

All right, get going!

What do you mean,
you helped put on them bars?

I didn't have nothing else to do.

And they was gonna put them in
whether I helped or not.

They will hang you
whether you helped out or not.

Pa, I don't think
they're really gonna hang me.

They laugh and joke about it a lot,
but I don't think they'll really do it.

-You'll see whether they hang your--
-Don't move.

What's going on back here?

That's all I need,
some stable bum ordering me around.

This is my saddle and I'm taking it with me.

I know it ain't mine, so go ahead.

In just a few days now I'll take care of you.

What was he trying to do,
bust you out of here?

Yeah.

You know Pa, he's got a heart as big
as the whole outdoors...

but he don't have one brain
in his poor old head.

May I compliment you on getting
such a romantic idea, Miss Prudy?

There's nothing romantic about it, Sheriff.

Nothing romantic about a man and a girl
out for a ride on a warm afternoon?

You think what you want to, Sheriff.

But you'd do that anyway, wouldn't you?

It's surprising how well you've gotten
to know me in such a short time.

Would you like to get out
and talk a minute, Sheriff?

All right.

Light yourself up a cigar if you want to.

Thank you, Miss Prudy, I believe I will.

Was there...

anything in particular you want
to talk to me about?

In case you didn't know,
Milt Danby is rounding up...

his two brothers and all their sons
and all of their hired hands.

They're going to ride into town...

and they're gonna take care of you
and Jake and get Joe out of jail.

I heard about that.

We've all been trying to remember.

We think there are three grown boys
in Ira Danby's family...

and two in Milt Danby's family.

So with the three Danbys here
and Joe in jail...

we figure that makes about 11.

Plus all the hired hands
they may want to bring along.

That's about the figure I arrived at, too.
10 or 12 maybe.

Or 14 or 15 maybe.

It's quite a few.

Almost a mob, you might say.

-Have you figured what you're gonna do?
-More or less.

What?

I thought I might just leave town.

Get out of town before they ride in.
Just ride out and keep on going.

I don't believe it.

I don't know why not.

I've never made any secret of the fact
that I'm on my way to Australia.

I don't think I'll find a better time
to get started than right now.

Besides, I don't like the odds.

I just don't believe it.

You better believe it.

'Cause it's not gonna be too many hours
before you look up and I'll be long gone.

I think that is one
of the most mature things...

I've ever heard of a man doing.

You think it's what?

Mature.

Almost any other man would have to
stick around to prove that they are a man...

and get a whole town shot up to boot.

Mature?

Mature, as opposed to childish
and shot full of holes.

You don't think it sounded
a little cowardly?

I mean, for a man to take a job
and then when the going gets rough...

he just sneaks out in the dead of night.

You didn't say whether you're gonna do it
in the day or night.

But the point is...

didn't it sound a little cowardly to you?

No, I told you, it sounds mature.

It sounded a little cowardly to me just now.

It isn't. It's mature.

The reason I know it's cowardly
is because I've never done...

a cowardly thing in my life,
no matter what anyone might think.

-I didn't say what I thought--
-It isn't mature. It is cowardly.

Let's just call things by their right name
from now on.

What is the matter with you?

I'm surprised at a girl who would
keep throwing yourself at a man...

when she secretly thinks he is a coward.

Let's go back to town.

What do you mean,
throwing myself at you?

Did you really think I was going to turn tail
and run at the first sight of trouble?

Why shouldn't I? That's what you just said
you were gonna do.

I'm not going to, so you just forget about it.

All right. Order!

You all heard the motion.

Those in favor, raise your hands.

Count them, Henry.

One, two, three, four, five.

Those in favor of not getting involved
in the crisis...

which is about to befall
our fair community...

in other words, keeping the hell
off the streets till the shooting is over...

raise your hands.

Count them, Henry.

5, 10, 15....

I think we passed the motion.

Order!

Be it so entered in the books
of the town council...

that the majority has ruled
and as your mayor--

I object!

Get that gun away from her.

-You can't do this.
-Shut up and sit down.

This is a meeting of the town council,
with certain select prominent citizens.

You can't walk in off the street
and insult everyone.

I just want to ask one question.

How many of you are going to help
the sheriff against the Danbys?

Wait a minute. It's not as simple as that.

-Why not?
-There are economic factors to consider.

It could affect the well-being
of every one in this town.

Besides, I heard the sheriff
was gonna leave town.

I did, too, and at the time I heard it,
I said to myself:

"That sheriff has his head
set squarely on his shoulders."

Now he's not gonna leave town.

And I'd like to get my hands
on whoever it was...

-that caused him to change his mind.
-Me, too.

Man with that good an idea
ought to be encouraged to hold on to it.

What is the matter with you?

Don't you remember how long we waited...

to find a man who'd stand up
to the Danbys?

Do you remember what the town was like?

Murdering, lynching,
miners shooting up the town day and night.

Aside from the few things you mentioned,
it wasn't a bad place at all.

We had a little misunderstanding
with the Danbys at times...

but they could be worked out in time.

What about Joe Danby? In jail for murder.

That would've solved itself if the Sheriff
had just left town, like he promised to.

I said it before and I'll say it again...

the men in this town are nothing
but a bunch of miserable, cowardly curs.

As your father I may have to take
that kind of talk from you...

but as the mayor of this town
I sure as hell don't.

Throw her out, boys!
And don't be too gentle with her.

Don't let her tie herself to that post!

It's a trick of hers, tying herself to things
when she doesn't want to do something.

Death to all tyrants!

-What did she say?
-She said death to somebody or other.

It doesn't mean anything. She's always
saying death to somebody she's mad at.

Order.

Might as well forget about getting any help
from anybody in this town...

or from anybody for 100 miles around.

That takes care of just about everybody,
doesn't it?

They can throw an unarmed girl
out of a public meeting...

but they can't defend their own town

against a bunch of cutthroats
like the Danbys.

What are we going to do now?

-We?
-Don't turn down any help you can get.

How is Joe?

He figures he'll be out of here and we'll be
dead about this time tomorrow.

Did he seem to feel any sorrow
that we might be all killed?

No, it's more like he planned a dance
and spit all over our graves.

Sounds like Joe.

That sure was a good idea you had
about leaving town.

You don't have to stay.

Yes, I do. I got to stay if you do
because I took the job.

-So did I.
-I'll tell you what.

I'll go to Australia with you
if we leave now.

We'll go to Australia, all right.

But first we got a few things to do,
it's about time we got started.

-Prudy, you really want to help?
-Sure.

-The first thing to do is get Joe out of here.
-And then what?

I got a couple of ideas, if things work right
we might live through this thing.

I sure liked his idea about leaving.

Prudy, you go in the courthouse,
do you know how to use this?

Here, you'll need these.

-Jake, are you there?
-Yeah.

-You know what you're supposed to do?
-Yeah!

Keep out of the line of fire whenever I can.

Mayor--

Can't talk now, Sheriff. We have
an emergency meeting of the town council.

What's that all about?

You don't think I'm gonna
shoot through the window, do you?

Here.

Take care of these, my eating teeth.

I don't want to get them all shot up.

Get Joe.

-He ain't in there, Pa.
-Hold it.

You're under arrest.

Throw down your guns
and I'll accept your surrender.

Haven't you heard
of just wounding somebody?

I only know one way to shoot,
and that's to kill.

We don't want a massacre on our hands,
so just watch it.

Hold it! Settle down out there.

Just hold it.

Okay, go ahead!

-Where'd you put Joe?
-Got him upstairs there.

Go get him.

Pa, look. Your teeth, they saved my life.

Always worrying about your life.

What am I supposed to chaw with
from now on?

Pa, look!

I want all you people
to unstrap your gun belts...

and throw your rifles down...

or I'm going to have to set this thing off.

You don't think you can bluff me out
with that old cannon, do you?

It ain't even loaded.

-Shall we see?
-Believe him, Pa.

You stay out of this, you miserable coward.

What's it going to be, Danby?

Jake, let Joe loose.

Put the rest of that bunch in jail.

By myself?

I'll be right behind you.

-You weren't really going to blow him up?
-Of course not, that thing isn't loaded.

I just stuck that fake fuse in there.

See?

My business!

I'll find out who's responsible for this,
if it's the last thing I ever do, Madame Orr.

Disturbing the peace, that's what it is.

I don't care if you are cleaning up this town.

That was a terrible thing to do
to them poor unfortunate girls.

I didn't know that damn thing was loaded.

I've never done anything
to an unfortunate girl in my life.

Some of those girls
are the closest friends I've got.

Who have we here? It's the sheriff.

It's the sheriff, boys.

We know who it is.

Everybody in the territory
knows who our sheriff is these days.

I guess Jeffrey's right at that.

You're about the most popular and
respected citizen we've got around here.

That's nice to hear.

We're thinking about sending a delegation
to Washington...

to see about turning this territory
into a state.

We'd be proud if you'd
head that delegation.

No, what you want is somebody
who will be here.

Jason, if you're upset with us
about that Danby business....

We were behind you all the way, Sheriff.

I can see it might not have looked that way.

No, that's not it.

It's just that...

I've never made any secret of the fact
that basically I'm on my way to Australia.

Which reminds me...

I'm going to have to think
about getting started again...

one of these days.

Would you excuse me, gentlemen?

A small crisis needs to be handled.

Jump, Miss Prudy!

Jump!

Boys, I just want you to know...

that from now on
when you pick on this young lady...

you'll be picking on my girl.

We had no idea
that the wind blew that way, Sheriff.

Now you know it,
you might spread the word around town.

Yes, sir.

What do you mean, your girl?

For once in your life play it smart
and keep your big fat mouth shut.

You keep out of this.
What do you mean, your girl?

You've had that look in your eyes
since the first day I hit town.

We're gonna have a little agreement.

After we're married,
no matter how many kids we got...

when I say we're off to Australia,
we pack up, kids and all, and off we go.

Why would I want to go to Australia for?

That's where your husband would be.
Girls usually go where their husbands are.

When you put it that way...

why don't you put me down?

I like it like this.

You want me to walk you home?

If you want to, Sheriff.

Say...

are you really one of the richest girls
in this part of the country?

The richest.

That's nice. That's real nice.

Now, the way this story ends...

is that they get married.

He goes on to become
the governor of the state.

Never gets to Australia, but he keeps
reading a lot of books about it.

I get to be sheriff of this town...

and then I go on to become
one of the most beloved characters...

in western folklore.