All language subtitles for Shanghai.Calling.2012.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

[BALL BOUNCING]

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NARRATOR (V.O.) WE HAVE
A SAYING HERE IN CHINA.

SEDUCTIVE, MYSTERIOUS,
AND THESE DAYS,

VERY ATTRACTIVE
TO FOREIGN BUSINESSMEN.

EXECUTIVES, BANKERS,

ENGINEERS, SALESMEN.

HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS
OF AMERICANS

NOW LIVE AND WORK IN SHANGHAI.

THIS IS THE STORY
OF ONE AMERICAN NAMED SAM.

A GOOD MAN.
EASY TO GET ALONG WITH.

NEVER ARROGANT OR COCKY.

AND BECAUSE OF THIS,

HE WAS LOVED BY EVERYONE
HE MET IN SHANGHAI.

OR...MAYBE NOT.

[CLOCK BEEPING]

NARRATOR (V.O.)
SAM JUST WON

THE MOST IMPORTANT COURT CASE
OF HIS LIFE.

HIS BOSSES HAVE CALLED HIM
INTO A MEETING.

SAM CHAO IS ON HIS WAY
TO THE TOP.

AND AFTER POACHING
THE CLIENT

FROM A SENIOR ASSOCIATE NO LESS.
BALLSY.

THANK YOU, SIR. THANK YOU.

THE REASON WHY
WE ASKED YOU HERE, SAM?

WE'VE GOT SOME
EXCITING NEWS FOR YOU.

[CHEERING]

YAY, SAM! YOU'RE THE MAN!

WE'RE SENDING YOU TO CHINA.

GROFF TECHNOLOGIES HAS JUST
MOVED ITS HEADQUARTERS

TO SHANGHAI.

WORD IS THEY'RE ONTO
SOMETHING BIG.

- A GAME CHANGER.

- IF OUR TOP CLIENT
GOES TO SHANGHAI,

THAT MEANS WE GO, TOO.

WE'VE BEEN IN TOUCH WITH
DONALD CAFFERTY FROM AMCHAM,

THE AMERICAN
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE THERE.

HE'S FOUND US AN OFFICE
AND HIRED US A LOCAL STAFF.

NOW ALL WE NEED
IS SOMEONE TO HEAD IT UP.

YOU'RE THE OBVIOUS CHOICE.

YOU'RE SINGLE,
YOU'RE A GO-GETTER,

AND YOU'RE EVEN CHINESE.

TECHNICALLY, YES.
I'M CHINESE.

ISN'T THERE SOMETHING ELSE
YOU GUYS WANTED TO SAY TO ME?

WE'RE AWARE OF THE RUMORS.

WE'RE JUST NOT READY
TO NAME A PARTNER JUST YET.

BUT WE ARE READY
TO SEND YOU TO CHINA.

THIS IS A HUGE OPPORTUNITY, SAM.

UH, IT'S AN INCREDIBLY
TEMPTING OFFER.

BUT I JUST FEEL THAT I AM MORE
OF AN ASSET

HERE IN NEW YORK.

I MEAN, I KNOW THE INS AND OUTS.
I KNOW EVERYTHING,

AND MY THIRTIETH BIRTHDAY
IS COMING UP.

I'VE RENTED OUT THOMAS KELLER'S
RESTAURANT,

I'VE GOT A D.J. COMING.

I GOT, I GOT A LOT OF STUFF
GOING ON.

- YOU KNOW WHAT WE LIKE
AROUND HERE, SAM?

A TEAM PLAYER. THREE MONTHS.

THAT'S ALL WE ASK.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

THAT'S ME.

WELCOME TO CHINA.

AMANDA WILSON.
RELOCATION SPECIALIST.

IT'S MY JOB TO HELP YOU
GET ADJUSTED.

HI.

FOR A SECOND,
I THOUGHT I'D MISSED YOU.

I WAS RUNNING LATE, MY AYI WAS
SICK, HAD TO FIND A BABYSITTER.

EVERYTHING OK?

YEAH, I WAS JUST
EXPECTING SOMEONE WITH

SLIGHTLY...DARKER HAIR.

OK, HERE'S YOUR
SURVIVAL PACKS.

SOME CHINESE YUAN. MONEY.
IN OTHER WORDS.

A MAP OF SHANGHAI,
YOUR BUSINESS CARDS,

AND YOUR MOBILE PHONE. YOUR
NUMBER IS RIGHT ON THE BACK.

SO BEFORE WE GO
TO YOUR APARTMENT,

I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO MEET
DONALD FROM AMCHAM.

HE'S KIND OF THE MAYOR
OF AMERICATOWN.

YEAH. THAT'S WHAT WE CALL
OUR LITTLE EXPAT COMMUNITY
OVER HERE.

IT'S KIND OF LIKE CHINATOWN
IN THE U.S.,

BUT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

AH...

HERE YOU GO.

YOU SPEAK CHINESE?

OF COURSE. DON'T YOU?

EH.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

A RESTAURANT OPENING.

OH, YEAH? I LOVE
A GOOD RESTAURANT.

WHAT KIND OF FOOD DO THEY HAVE?

- DONALD!
- AMANDA! GOOD MORNING.

WELL, THIS MUST BE SAM.

DONALD CAFFERTY,
PRESIDENT OF JFC CHINA.

SAM CHAO. NICE TO MEET YOU.

I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MUCH FANFARE
AT A FAST FOOD PLACE BEFORE.

OUR EIGHT THOUSANDTH
STORE OPENING

CALLED FOR A LITTLE CELEBRATION.

THE CHINESE ARE CRAZY
ABOUT FRIED CHICKEN.

HERE, HAVE A COUPON FOR A FREE
SPICY CHICKEN SANDWICH.

WELCOME TO SHANGHAI.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
THURSDAY NIGHT?

UH...

GREAT. MEET ME FOR DRINKS
OUT ON THE BUND.

I'LL INTRODUCE YOU TO ALL
THE TOP BUSINESS EXECS IN TOWN.

MICROSOFT, P&G, FORD.

I'M GONNA DRIVE
A LOT OF BUSINESS YOUR WAY.

EVER BEEN TO CHINA BEFORE?

I NEVER BEEN ABOVE
79TH STREET BEFORE.

[CHUCKLES] NEW YORK. STREET.

JOKE.

HE'S GONNA BE A HOMESICK ONE,
I CAN TELL.

LUCKY FOR YOU, I OWN
AN AMERICAN BAR IN HONGQIAO.

YOU EVER GET LONELY,
COME ON BY.

OK. SOUNDS GREAT.

GOOD MAN.
NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I'M LATE FOR MY PHOTO SHOOT.

MODELING CAREER
FINALLY TAKING OFF?

NO. AMCHAM ELECTIONS
ARE COMING UP.

[MOTORCYCLE ENGINE STARTS]

SEE YOU THURSDAY, SAM.

SAM: YEAH. THURSDAY.

SO. READY TO SEE
YOUR NEW APARTMENT?

AS READY AS I'LL EVER BE.

SORRY?

LOOK. I HAD A NICE LIFE
BACK IN NEW YORK.

SO WHATEVER YOU FOUND ME

BETTER NOT BE TOO MUCH
OF A LETDOWN.

OK. HERE WE ARE.

TWO BED, TWO BATH.

HARDWOOD FLOORS,
RECYCLED GLASS WINDOWS,

HIGH-DEF TV,
SOLAR PANELS ON THE ROOF.

AND THE ENTIRE BUILDING
IS BRAND NEW.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

THAT'S AWESOME.

I'LL TAKE IT.

OK. I'LL GET THE PAPERS READY.

[LOUD NOISES]

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

CONSTRUCTION. BUT THEY'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE FINISHED BY NOW!

ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS BUILDING
IS STILL BEING BUILT?

SHANGHAI AND CONSTRUCTION
GO HAND IN HAND.

SOMETIMES THESE NEW
GREENER BUILDINGS

TAKE JUST A LITTLE BIT LONGER
TO GET--

[NOISES STOP]

[EXTREMELY LOUD NOISE]

I HAVE TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE.

I HAVE A BACKUP APARTMENT
DOWN THE STREET.

IT'S NOT AS NICE AS THIS ONE,
BUT AT LEAST IT'S FINISHED.

IS IT A DUMP?

NO. I MEAN, UH...

IT'S A TAD SMALLER,
AND THE AMENITIES ARE LESS NEW.

BUT IT'S A REALLY NICE PLACE
IN A GREAT NEIGHBORHOOD.

IT'S A DUMP.

I'M STAYING HERE.
FORGET ABOUT IT.

SAM, I CANNOT
IN GOOD CONSCIENCE

LET YOU STAY HERE WITH ALL THAT
NOISE GOING ON UPSTAIRS.

I COMPLETELY AGREE.
SO HERE'S WHAT YOU DO.

JUST TELL THEM
THE FUTURE PARTNER

OF A HUGE AMERICAN LAW FIRM
JUST MOVED IN,

THEY NEED TO SHUT IT DOWN
FOR THREE MONTHS,

OR ELSE I'LL SUE THEM.

HERE'S MY CARD.

THIS MAY NOT WORK.

AMY...

AMANDA.

YOUR JOB WAS TO FIND ME A NICE,
QUIET PLACE TO LIVE,

AND YOU FAILED.

NOW ARE YOU GOING TO RESOLVE
THIS ISSUE,

OR DO I NEED TO REPLACE YOU?

[RING TONE ON CELL PHONE PLAYS]

IT'S YOU.

THIS IS SAM.

FANG FANG: HELLO, MR. CHAO.

THIS IS FANG FANG,
YOUR NEW ASSISTANT.

I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD FLIGHT.

ARE YOU PLANNING TO ATTEND
THE MARCUS GROFF MEETING TODAY?

TODAY? NO. I THOUGHT THE MEETING
WAS TOMORROW, ON THE 17TH.

FANG FANG:
YES, BUT TODAY IS THE 17TH.

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. I LEFT
NEW YORK ON THE 15TH,

AND I LOST ONE DAY BY CROSSING
OVER THE DATE LINE.

THAT MAKES TODAY THE 16TH.

FANG FANG:
ACTUALLY, YOU LOST TWO DAYS

IT BECAME THE 16TH IN THE U.S.
WHILE YOU WERE IN THE AIR.

WHEN YOU CROSSED THE
DATE LINE, IT BECAME THE 17TH,

AND MR. GROFF WILL BE HERE
IN THIRTY MINUTES.

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

- PROBLEM.
- I HEARD.

YOU KNOW WHAT,
YOU GET TO YOUR OFFICE.

AND I WILL GO UPSTAIRS
AND SEE WHAT I CAN DO

ABOUT THAT CONSTRUCTION ISSUE.

OH, MAN.

WHEN DID I DO THIS?

AAH!! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I GOT NOTHING.
I DON'T SPEAK CHINESE.

WHO ARE YOU?

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

AYI. AYI.

¿AYI? AMANDA SAID
THAT SAME WORD.

ARE YOU MY NANNY?

ARE YOU LIKE A HOUSEKEEPER?

I MEAN, YOU CLEAN...
[MAKING SQUIRTING NOISES]

HOUSEKEEPER.

SLEEP. WHAT?

YOU LIVE HERE.
YOU LIVE WITH ME?

YOU LIVE WITH ME.

MY HOUSEKEEPER,
AND YOU DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH?

[SPEAKING SPANISH]
HABLA ESPA OL?

THAT WAS REALLY OFFENSIVE
ON MANY, MANY LEVELS.

I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
BUT I HAVE TO GO, AYI.

SEE YOU LATER.

OKAY, THIS IS,
THIS IS YINCHENG ROAD.

SO THAT'S GOTTA BE,
OK, THAT'S GOTTA BE...

I HAVE NO IDEA.

WHICH MEANS... OH, SCREW IT.

TAXI!

HI. CAN YOU UH, TAKE ME
TO THIS ADDRESS, PLEASE?

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

JUST TAKE ME TO THE ADDRESS.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

WHY ARE WE ARGUING?

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

[LAUGHING] OKAY.
ALL RIGHT. I GET IT.

I'M FROM NEW YORK CITY.

SO DON'T THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE
I'M FROM OUT OF TOWN,

THAT YOU CAN PAD THE FARE
BY GOING THE LONG WAY.

OR WHATEVER IT IS
YOU'RE TRYING TO DO.

JUST TAKE ME HERE.

THANK YOU.

[ELEVATOR RINGS]

MR. CHAO? WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE.
I'M FANG FANG, YOUR ASSISTANT.

WOW. FANG FANG.
THANK YOU FOR CALLING.

IS HE HERE?

YES. IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM.

MARCUS GROFF FROM
GROFF TECHNOLOGY IN SANTONIO.

SAN ANTONIO. THANK YOU.

OK, LET'S SEE ALAMO, RIVERWALK,

WHAT ARE YOU WRITING?

TALKING POINTS.
LAST TIME I MET THIS GUY,

HE COULDN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT
HIS HOMETOWN.

HE'S LIKE A HUNDRED PERCENT
TEXAS, THROUGH AND THROUGH.

[HUMMING]

MARCUS.

- HI. SAM CHAO.
- HEY, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?

GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

SORRY I'M LATE, I JUST FLEW IN
FROM NEW YORK THIS MORNING.

I'M JUST KIND OF...

CAN I GET YOU SOME COFFEE
OR...

THERE'S COFFEE IN CHINA, RIGHT,
FANG FANG?

WE HAVE DECAF,
DARK ROAST, FRENCH ROAST,

LOW FAT MILK, FULL FAT MILK,
SOY MILK,

SUGAR, HONEY,
AND ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER.

- WOW.

SOME HOT TEA
WOULD BE WONDERFUL.

LOOKS LIKE I KEPT YOU WAITING.

OH, DON'T SWEAT IT.

I CARRY MY BRUSHES WITH ME
WHEREVER I GO

SO I CAN PRACTICE
MY CHINESE CALLIGRAPHY.

EVER SINCE RELOCATING
TO SHANGHAI,

I'VE JUST FALLEN IN LOVE
WITH CHINESE CULTURE.

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

I UH, REALLY TREASURE
MY HERITAGE.

THERE'S LEAVES IN MY TEA.

THAT'S HOW WE DRINK IT.

MMM. DELICIOUS.

OH, YEAH, THIS IS...

FRAGRANT.

SO, MARCUS, WHAT I CAN
HELP YOU WITH TODAY?

WHAT'S THE BIGGEST COMPLAINT

PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT
TOUCH-SCREEN PHONES?

YOU CAN'T FEEL THE KEYS, SO YOU
MAKE WAY TOO MANY TYPOS, RIGHT?

NOT ANYMORE.

GIVE THIS BABY A TRY.

WOW. THAT IS IMPRESSIVE.
LOOK AT THAT.

I CAN ACTUALLY SEE YOU
RIGHT THROUGH THAT.

THAT, THAT IS INCREDIBLE.

I CAN ACTUALLY FEEL MY FINGERS
TOUCHING...

THE SCREEN. HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

USING A SUBSTRATE THAT'S
ATTRACTED TO THE CHARGE

OF HUMAN SKIN.

THE INVENTOR'S A GENIUS,
A CHINESE GUY NAMED YU BAIYANG.

TOTAL RECLUSE.

DISAPPEARS FOR MONTHS AT A TIME
AND THEN

POPS UP WITH A GADGET
THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING.

BUT HE'S A CREATIVE TYPE,

SO HE USUALLY SELLS THE PRODUCT

TO THE FIRST PERSON
WHO FINDS HIM.

I FOUND HIM.

NOW I NEED YOU

TO DRAW UP A PURCHASE AGREEMENT

BEFORE ANYBODY ELSE FINDS OUT
ABOUT THIS PHONE.

I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND THAT.

NO, I MEAN, IT'S SIMPLY BECAUSE

PURCHASE AGREEMENTS CAN TAKE
A LONG TIME TO CLOSE.

YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH COPYRIGHTS
AND TRADEMARKS,

AND YOU HAVE TO ALSO
VERIFY A PATENTS.

I MEAN, WHAT YOU WANT, IDEALLY,
IS A LICENSE AGREEMENT.

IT'S FASTER, AND IF THE INVENTOR

ISN'T TOO EXPERIENCED
IN CONTRACTS,

I CAN GET YOU THAT PHONE
FOR A FRACTION OF THE PRICE.

[CLEARS THROAT]

SAY THE PHONE IS WORTH
$50 MILLION.

WE LICENSE IT
FOR FIVE MILLION.

THE INVENTOR KEEPS
ALL THE PATENTS,

AND YOU START PRODUCING PHONES
RIGHT AWAY.

IF IT'S A HIT,
EVERYONE MAKES MONEY.

BUT WHAT IF IT'S A FLOP?

SEE, THAT'S OKAY, TOO
BECAUSE WE MINIMIZED YOUR RISK.

YOU DIDN'T BUY THE PHONES
FOR $50 MILLION,

YOU LICENSED IT FOR 5.

SO BY GOING THIS ROUTE--

WHOA, WHOA. HOLD UP.

I SAVE MYSELF 45 MILLION,

AND I STILL GET THE PHONE?

ARE YOU SURE HE'S GONNA GO
FOR THIS?

ABSOLUTELY.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S DO IT.

WELL, SAM, I'M SURE GLAD THAT
YOU'RE THE ONE IN CHARGE HERE.

- THANK YOU.
- ALL RIGHT.

- I'LL CALL YOU.
- SPEAK SOON.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

HMM? YOU SECOND GUESSED ME IN
FRONT OF THE CLIENT BACK THERE.

A HUGE CLIENT.

DON'T EVER DO IT AGAIN.

UNDERSTOOD?

SAM. I'M ONLY TRYING TO HELP.

[CLEARS THROAT]

OH. HELLO. I'M GUANG.
THE COMPUTER SPECIALIST.

I WORK WITH FANG FANG.

HELLO. POWELL AND DAVIES.

IT'S JOEY FROM NEW YORK.

[CHUCKLES]

HEY, IS THIS SEAT TAKEN?

I THOUGHT MY GIRL PROBLEMS WERE
SUPPOSED TO BE OVER, RIGHT?

DON'T BE SO HARD
ON YOURSELF, MAN.

WE ALL HAVE OUR DRY SPELLS.

YOU DON'T GET IT, DUDE.

MY WHOLE LIFE
HAS BEEN A DRY SPELL.

THAT'S WHY I MOVED HERE.

BUT JUST BEFORE I SHOWED UP,
WORD FINALLY GOT AROUND

THAT ENGLISH TEACHERS
ONLY CAME HERE TO GET LAID.

WOMAN: DONALD! YOU MADE IT.

- GREAT TO SEE YOU, DONALD.

- HELLO. HELLO.

THERE YOU ARE, I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.

I SEE YOU MET BRAD.
SO LAY IT ON ME.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF CHINA SO FAR?

IT'S INTERESTING.

SORRY, MY BRAIN'S
A LITTLE FRIED.

I HAVEN'T SLEPT A WINK
SINCE I GOT IN.

BEEN THERE. DON'T WORRY.

THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST MOVE
YOU EVER MADE.

WELL, WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS
AFTER I GET HOME.

HOME IS FOR SUCKERS.

LET ME TELL YOU A STORY.
AWHILE BACK,

A FRY COOK FROM LOUISVILLE

APPLIES TO THE EXEC PROGRAM
AT JFC.

HE GOT IN, BUT HE WAS
CONSIDERED A JOKE.

THEN THE COMPANY OPENED UP SHOP
IN CHINA.

NOBODY WANTED TO GO,
SO HE VOLUNTEERED.

20 YEARS LATER,

HE'S THE THIRD HIGHEST PAID EXEC
IN THE COMPANY,

AND THE MAYOR OF AMERICATOWN.

THIS IS THE NEW LAND
OF OPPORTUNITY, SAM.

HI THERE, NICE TO MEET YOU.

THIS IS AMANDA. SHE'S SINGLE.

HI, YEAH. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
EXCUSE ME.

YOUR FRIEND IS RATHER DIRECT,
ISN'T SHE?

- YEAH.
- I'M CHASE.

- AMANDA. HI.
- HI.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN
IN SHANGHAI, AMANDA?

FOUR YEARS. BUT THESE BARS
ARE NOT MY NORMAL HANGOUT.

MINE NEITHER.

I TEACH AT A RURAL SCHOOL,

SO I DON'T GET INTO TOWN
VERY OFTEN.

OH.

SO UH, WHAT DO YOU DO?

RELOCATION SPECIALIST.

I HELP FOREIGN EMPLOYEES
FIND PLACES TO LIVE

WHEN THEIR COMPANIES SEND THEM--

HI, GORGEOUS.

IT, UH, YOU KNOW,
IT KEEPS ME BUSY.

ESPECIALLY IF THE CLIENT
HAS A FAMILY.

I HAVE TO GET THE KIDS ENROLLED
IN THE INTERNATIONAL SCHOOLS--

HEY, YOU'RE REALLY BEAUTIFUL,
DO YOU KNOW THAT?

YEAH, THAT'S TOTALLY
ACCEPTABLE.

- HMM?
- HMM?

PRETTY CHINESE GIRL.

WHERE?

ANYWHERE YOU LOOK.

BRAD: AMANDA!

BRAD. SAM.

WHERE'S DONALD? I THOUGHT HE WAS
SHOWING YOU OFF TONIGHT.

HE WAS, UNTIL HE GOT CALLED OUT
TO THE DANCE FLOOR.

[CROWD CHANTING DONALD'S NAME]

SO, SAM, HOW'S THE APARTMENT?

IT'S QUIET. I TOLD YOU
MY IDEA WOULD WORK.

RIGHT.
I'M NOT SURE THAT IT DID.

THEY ACTUALLY KIND OF LAUGHED

WHEN I TOLD THEM
ABOUT YOUR LAWSUIT THREAT.

IT REALLY PAINS YOU TO ADMIT
THAT I WAS RIGHT, IS THAT IT?

HEY, I FOUND ANOTHER
CUTE GUY FOR YOU.

HE'S ONLY 22. LET'S GO!

SO AMANDA, SHE'S SINGLE, RIGHT?

I THOUGHT SHE HAD A KID.

DIVORCED. MOVED HERE
RIGHT AFTER THE SPLIT.

NOW THAT HER KID'S
A LITTLE OLDER,

HER FRIENDS ARE TRYING TO GET
HER BACK IN THE DATING SCENE.

HUH.

NO, NO, NO, NO.
YOU DO NOT GO THERE.

YOU DIDN'T COME TO CHINA
TO MEET WHITE GIRLS.

YOU'RE INTO CHINESE GIRLS,
RIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
I'VE NEVER DATED ONE.

[LAUGHING]

YOU ARE ALL MESSED UP, BRO.

IT'S TIME YOU GOT IN TOUCH
WITH YOUR CULTURE.

BY HAVING SEX WITH IT.

UH-HUH.

DUDE, YOU'RE IN CHINA.
NOW HAVE SOME BAIJIU.

GANBEI!

[LOUD HAMMERING
AND CONSTRUCTION NOISES]

YOU KNOW, CHINA'S GONNA BE A
GREAT PLACE ONCE IT'S FINISHED.

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

YOU PASSED OUT AT THE BAR
LAST NIGHT,

SO I HAD TO DRAG YOUR ASS
BACK HOME.

I WAS GONNA CRASH ON YOUR SOFA,

BUT YOUR BED JUST LOOKED
SO COMFORTABLE.

YOU WANT SOME BREAKFAST?

I KNOW A GREAT STEAMED BUN PLACE
NEAR HERE.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

MMM. MMM!

MMM! GODDAMN,
THAT'S A DELICIOUS BAOZI.

WHAT KIND OF MEAT IS THIS AGAIN?

SNAKE.

AHA. GOTCHA. IT'S PORK.
IT'S PORK.

SERIOUSLY, YOU GOTTA TRY SNAKE
SOMETIME. IT'S GOOD.

I'LL BE SURE TO NEVER DO THAT.

HEY, MAN, THANKS FOR MAKING SURE

I GOT BACK IN ONE PIECE
LAST NIGHT.

NO PROBLEM.

I'M GONNA GET SOME MORE BAOZI.

- OK.
- MM-HMM.

[CELL PHONE RING TONE PLAYS]

HELLO?

- SAM? MARCUS GROFF.

HEY, MARCUS. I'M ACTUALLY NOT
IN THE OFFICE JUST YET--

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM.

YU BAIYANG, THE INVENTOR?

HE SIGNED MY LICENSE AGREEMENT
A FEW DAYS AGO.

AND THEN HE SIGNED ANOTHER
LICENSE AGREEMENT

WITH SOME LOCAL MANUFACTURER.

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, MARCUS.
RELAX. HE CAN'T DO THAT.

THERE'S NO POSSIBLE WAY,
WHY WOULD HE EVEN--

- HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

HE PROBABLY FIGURED OUT
WHAT A RAW DEAL YOU GAVE HIM.

NOW SOMEBODY ELSE
IS MAKING MY PHONES.

- MARCUS?

- THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SAFE,
SAM!

- MARCUS, CALM DOWN. LISTEN
TO ME. THIS IS TOTALLY SAFE.

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY THAT
HE CAN LICENSE THOSE PHONES

TO ANOTHER MANUFACTURER.

BUT IF THAT'S WHAT
HE'S TRYING TO DO,

WE STILL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME
TO STOP WHATEVER DEAL--

IT'S A TOUCH-SCREEN PHONE YOU
CAN ACTUALLY FEEL THE KEYS ON.

I CAN TYPE SO FAST
ON THIS THING.

SEE THAT? I JUST TYPED ¿I CAN
TYPE SO FAST ON THIS THING

AS FAST AS I SAID IT.

- MARCUS, I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
- I JUST TYPED IT AGAIN!

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?

UH, AT A BIG CELL PHONE STORE
ON THE CORNER.

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE
SELLING THEM HERE, TOO.

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?

THIS PHONE.
WHERE DID YOU GET THIS PHONE?

AH, AH, I KNOW, I KNOW.

WHOA. ARE WE RUNNING?
DO WE NEED TO RUN?

NO, NO. I BOUGHT THEM ALL.
JUST GRAB THE REST. TAXI!

COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!

YOUR TRUNK, POP YOUR TRUNK,
PLEASE! THANK YOU.

YOU REALLY LOVE THIS PHONE, HUH?

NO, BRAD.
THIS IS MY CLIENT'S PHONE.

SOMEBODY ELSE IS MAKING THEM.

HOW THE HELL DID THEY GET
INTO THESE STORES SO FAST?

UH, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD?

THE CHINESE ARE REALLY GOOD
AT MANUFACTURING, DUDE.

BRAD, I NEED TO GET THESE PHONES
OFF THE STREET ASAP.

I NEED YOU TO GO TO EVERY STORE
THAT IS SELLING THESE PHONES

AND BUY THEM UP. HERE
I'LL GIVE YOU MY CORPORATE CARD.

I'VE GOT AN ENGLISH CLASS
TO TEACH.

DAMN IT. ALL RIGHT.
I'LL CALL MY ASSISTANT.

WHOA, HANG ON, HANG ON.

I COULD BE PERSUADED
TO SKIP MY ENGLISH CLASS,

IF THE RIGHT
MOTIVATION WAS THERE.

YOU WANT ME TO BRIBE YOU?

FINE. I WILL HIRE YOU AS A LOCAL
CONSULTANT FOR THE FIRM.

HOW IS THAT?

DEAL. I'LL GET RIGHT ON IT.

- TAKE THE CARD.
- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

HOW THE HELL
COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?

THIS IS NOT MY FAULT, SIR.

GROFF WAS PLANNING
TO PUT THAT TOUCH SCREEN

INTO EVERY PHONE, LAPTOP,
AND TABLET HE MAKES.

NOW SOMEONE ELSE
IS GOING TO BEAT HIM TO IT

BECAUSE YOU GOT FANCY
WITH THE CONTRACTS.

- I DIDN'T--
- IF HE SUES US FOR NEGLIGENCE,

WE'RE LOOKING AT BILLIONS
IN DAMAGES. BILLIONS.

FIX THIS, SAM. YOU FIX THIS,

OR I WILL MAKE SURE
THIS STINK FOLLOWS YOU

FOR THE REST
OF YOUR SORRY CAREER.

DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?

ABSOLUTELY, SIR. I ASSURE YOU,
THIS WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF.

VERY QUICKLY.

I'M TALKING
LIGHTNING SPEED HERE.

THIS IS--IT'S FIXED. IT--

HELLO? HELLO?

NICE PLACE.

THANKS.

IS THAT WARREN BUFFETT?

IT SURE IS.

I SHOWED HIM AROUND BACK IN '95.

WISH I COULD'VE BEEN THERE.

I MEAN, I WAS JUST
IN GRADE SCHOOL AT THE TIME.

ESTHER WU, CLIMB MOTORS. I'M...

RUNNING AGAINST ME
FOR AMCHAM PRESIDENCY.

THANKS FOR VOLUNTEERING.

YOU KNOW, THE ELECTION COMMITTEE
ALWAYS HAS A HARD TIME

FINDING SOMEONE
TO RUN AGAINST ME.

IS THAT SO?

I SHOULD'VE COME TO SHANGHAI
A LITTLE SOONER THEN.

SHANGHAI ISN'T A HARDSHIP POST
FOR OUTCASTS ANYMORE.

IT'S A GOLD STAR
ON YOUR RESUME,

AND IT'S ATTRACTING THE BEST
AND BRIGHTEST THESE DAYS.

RHODES SCHOLARS, MBAs...

THEY'RE THE NEW FACE
OF THE EXPAT COMMUNITY.

AND THEY WANT
AN AMCHAM PRESIDENT

WHO SHARES THEIR BACKGROUND.

INSTEAD OF ONE WHO...

TOOK A DYING AMERICAN BRAND

AND TURNED IT INTO THE BIGGEST
RESTAURANT CHAIN IN CHINA?

SAM THE LAWYER.
HOW'S BUSINESS?

FIGURED OUT WHAT TO DO ABOUT
THAT PHONE MANUFACTURER YET?

YOU HEARD ABOUT THAT?

I HEAR EVERYTHING.

AFTER ALL... I AM THE MAYOR.

NOW LET'S DEAL
WITH YOUR LITTLE MESS.

CALL THIS FELLA.
HE'S A PROBLEM SOLVER.

HELPS GUYS LIKE YOU OUT
ALL THE TIME.

WE CALL HIM AWESOME WANG.

FREELANCE REPORTER.

THE KIND OF GUY WITH A REAL NOSE

FOR DIGGING UP
HARD-TO-FIND FACTS.

AND NAILING THE BAD GUYS.

NO.

I HAVE A BILLION DOLLAR LEGAL
MESS ON MY HANDS RIGHT NOW.

AND YOU WANT ME TO CALL A GUY
NAMED AWESOME WANG?

HOW IS THAT GONNA LOOK
ON MY EXPENSE REPORT?

YOU YOUNG BUCKS ALWAYS THINK
YOU KNOW EVERYTHING.

AWESOME WANG?

IT'S RIDICULOUS!

NO, THE MEETING IS ONLY WITH
MR. LIN, THE OTHER MANUFACTURER.

APPARENTLY, YU BAIYANG IS OFF
FINDING SOME SORT OF

INSPIRATION OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW.

DON'T WORRY, MARCUS, I WILL
STRAIGHTEN EVERYTHING OUT.

I PROMISE. OK?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

HI.

THE RESEARCH MATERIAL
YOU WANTED.

YOU WANT TO COME IN?

MAY I?

OH, CAN I GET YOU A DRINK
OR SOMETHING?

UM, NO, THANKS.

WOW, UM, THIS IS A NICE PLACE.

YEAH.

YOU LIVE HERE BY YOURSELF?

[CONSTRUCTION NOISE]

THAT'S MY ROOMMATE.

SO UH, SOMETHING ON YOUR MIND?

I KNOW THAT YOUR BOSSES WERE
PRETTY HARSH ON YOU TODAY.

[LOUD CONSTRUCTION NOISES]

I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT...

[POWER SAW
AND LOUD NOISES CONTINUE]

[LOUD NOISES SUDDENLY STOP]

I BELIEVE IN YOU!

[HAMMERING STARTS]

JEEZ...

AMANDA? HI. IT'S SAM.

YEAH, UH, LISTEN, I UH...

I THINK YOU WERE RIGHT
ABOUT THE CONSTRUCTION WORKERS.

SO THE UH, THE BACKUP APARTMENT
YOU MENTIONED...

OK, TELL THE MANAGER WE'LL BE IN
THE NEIGHBORHOOD,

AND WHENEVER HE'S FREE...

YEAH, I CAN PICK YOU UP.
WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

ARE YOU HUNGRY, KATIE?

YOU WANT A SNACK?

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO EAT?

DID YOU SEE THAT?

RELAX. AT LEAST
SHE'S SPEAKING AGAIN.

YEAH. ONLY IN CHINESE.

I GUESS THAT RULES OUT OUR WHOLE
HEARING PROBLEM THING,

YOU'RE REALLY CRAZY,
DO YOU KNOW THAT?

OH, GOD. I WISH I'D SCHEDULED
SAM FOR TOMORROW.

YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM
TO GO FIND HIS OWN APARTMENT.

OH, RIGHT,
WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO,

JUST DROP HIM AFTER HE
APOLOGIZED TO ME?

UH-HUH.

I'M FIGHTING FOR BUSINESS
AS IT IS.

THE LAST THING I NEED
IS SOMEBODY OUT THERE

SPREADING BAD WORD-OF-MOUTH.

AND WE ALL KNOW THE MOST
DIFFICULT CLIENTS

HAVE THE BIGGEST MOUTHS. SAM.

YOU ARE PUNCTUAL.

YEAH. WELL, YOUR DOOR WAS OPEN.

- HI. GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
- HEY, SAM.

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR
APARTMENT SEARCH.

THANKS.

WELL, I FEEL LIKE I'M BACK
IN THE STATES HERE.

YEAH. WE MAKE IT WORK.

SPEAKING OF WE...

SAM, THIS IS KATIE.
KATIE, SAY HI, TO SAM.

SHE STOPPED SPEAKING ENGLISH. I
HAVE NO IDEA WHY.

HI, KATIE. WOW.

THAT IS A REALLY COOL SHOVEL.

WHAT'S IT FOR?

IS IT A SECRET?

YEAH. I BET IT IS.

HOW ABOUT THIS...

I'LL TELL YOU A REALLY COOL,
A REALLY FUNNY SECRET OF MINE

IF YOU TELL ME
WHAT THE SHOVEL'S FOR.

[WHISPERING]

[KATIE LAUGHS]

PRETTY FUNNY, HUH?

SO WHAT'S THE SHOVEL FOR?

I'M DIGGING A HOLE TO AMERICA.

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

NO, COME ON, SERIOUSLY.
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO HER?

IT'S UH, AN ATTORNEY-CLIENT
PRIVILEGE. I SHOULDN'T.

THAT'S HOW YOU WANT TO PLAY IT?
REAL CUTE.

OKAY, LOOK. I GOTTA ASK.

WHAT DID YOU SAY TO KATIE
BACK AT THE HOUSE?

I MEAN, SHE HAS NOT SAID
ONE WORD OF ENGLISH

IN OVER A WEEK, AND NO OFFENSE,
BUT YOU'RE KIND OF

THE LAST PERSON IN THE WORLD
I EXPECTED

TO HAVE A WAY WITH KIDS.

SO WHY DID SHE...?

NEVER MIND.

NO, I'M LISTENING.
GO AHEAD. SORRY.

REALLY? WHAT DID I JUST SAY?

I'M SORRY.
I'M NOT LISTENING.

NO, IT'S JUST
I'M KIND OF DEALING

WITH THIS CAREER-ENDING
CRISIS AT WORK.

AND IT'S REALLY...

- SOUNDS SERIOUS.
- YEAH.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU NEED HELP,
THERE'S A GUY YOU COULD CALL.

AWESOME WANG.

HE'S A SHANGHAI HERO.

HE HELPS PEOPLE
OUT OF TROUBLE ALL OF THE TIME.

[SCREAMS]

RIGHT. SO I'VE HEARD. MM-HMM.

HEY, LISTEN, ARE YOU,
UM, ARE YOU HUNGRY?

CAN I BUY YOU LUNCH?

WHILE WE'RE WAITING
FOR THE MANAGER TO CALL?

MY TREAT.

LET ME MAKE UP

FOR THAT LITTLE TEMPER TANTRUM
I THREW THE OTHER DAY.

OKAY.

OKAY.

THANK YOU.

WHY DOES SHE KEEP GIVING ME--

BECAUSE I OBVIOUSLY DON'T SPEAK
CHINESE, AND YOU OBVIOUSLY DO.

- RIGHT.
- HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.

HERE, TAKE MY MENU,
IT'S IN ENGLISH.

I GOTTA LEARN THIS STUFF.

SO HOW DOES A GIRL LIKE YOU GET
TO BE SUCH AN EXPERT ON CHINA?

WELL, I TOOK 3 YEARS
OF MANDARIN IN COLLEGE

AND STUDIED AT BEIJING
UNIVERSITY FOR A SEMESTER.

I EVEN SPENT SUMMERS WORKING
AT A CHINESE RESTAURANT
IN NEBRASKA,

TO KEEP UP MY LANGUAGE SKILLS.

CUSTOMERS GOT A REAL KICK
OUT OF ME.

- I BET.
- MM-HMM.

SO, IS THAT WHY YOU MOVED HERE
WITH KATIE AFTER THE...

YEAH, KATIE'S DAD WASN'T EXACTLY
¿FATHER OF THE YEAR

SO AFTER WE SPLIT, I DECIDED
TO GET AWAY FROM HIM

AS FAR AS POSSIBLE.

YEAH, THIS WOULD
PRETTY MUCH DO IT.

I KNOW. I KNOW, I KNOW,

BUT I KNEW THE LANGUAGE
AND GROWING UP HERE

WILL OPEN UP ALL SORTS OF JOB
OPPORTUNITIES FOR KATIE.

SO IT MADE SENSE.

ONE OF THOSE MOMS, HUH?

GUILTY. SO LET ME GUESS.

YOU ONLY MOVED HERE
BECAUSE SOMEONE OFFERED YOU

A BIG PROMOTION.

I'VE SEEN YOUR TYPE BEFORE.

MY TYPE? I'M SORRY,
WHAT IS MY, MY TYPE?

NO, I HAVE SAID
WAY TOO MUCH ALREADY.

NO, NO. I WON'T GET MAD.
YOU CAN TELL ME.

I CAN TAKE IT.

WHAT IS MY TYPE?

OK.

SLICK BUSINESSMAN.
CHARMING, DRIVEN,

YOU COME HERE TO DO BUSINESS,
BUT YOU STILL WANT TO BE

PERCEIVED AS AN
AMERICAN COMPANY,

SO YOU DOWNPLAY YOUR ASSOCIATION
WITH CHINA AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.

IN FACT,
YOU DOWNPLAY IT SO MUCH

THAT NOBODY THINKS
ABOUT THE ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGS

WHO MAKE YOUR PRODUCT.

UNTIL, OF COURSE,
SOMETHING AWFUL HAPPENS

AND IT WINDS UP
ALL OVER THE NEWS.

SO YOU MAKE A FEW CHANGES

HOPE THAT YOUR CUSTOMERS
HAVE A SHORT MEMORY.

OR IF YOU'RE A REAL JERK,
YOU JUST PRETEND

YOU HAD NO IDEA IT WAS HAPPENING
IN YOUR OWN FACTORY

AND BLAME EVERYTHING
ON THE CHINESE.

I KNOW THIS STORY. I THINK I DO.

CORPORATIONS ARE EVIL,

AND WE DON'T CARE
ABOUT PEOPLE, RIGHT?

WHAT ABOUT THE JOBS WE CREATE?

THE TECHNOLOGY TRANSFER
FROM BUILDING PLANTS HERE?

NO CREDIT FOR THAT? NOTHING?

PLEASE. THAT'S NOT CHARITY WORK.

IT'S ANOTHER WAY FOR YOU
TO MAKE MONEY.

AMANDA, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY
DESIGNER SHOPS

AND LUXURY CAR DEALERSHIPS
I PASSED TODAY

ON THE WAY OVER HERE?

TRUST ME, THE CHINESE ARE MAKING
PLENTY OF MONEY.

YES, INTERNATIONAL TRADE

HAS DEFINITELY IMPROVED
THE QUALITY OF LIFE HERE.

BUT IT'S A SIDE EFFECT.

FOREIGN BUSINESSMEN
DON'T COME HERE

TO CONTRIBUTE TO
CHINESE SOCIETY.

THEY COME HERE
TO PROFIT FROM IT.

I'M CONTRIBUTING.

OK, HOW?

BY PRACTICING LAW.

MY CLIENT IS JUST LIKE YOU.
HE LOVES CHINA.

HE WANTS TO TAKE
A CHINESE INVENTOR'S PRODUCT

AND TURN IT INTO THE BIGGEST
THING IN THE WORLD,

AND HE NEEDS MY HELP TO DO THAT.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS?

THAT'S WHAT I DO. I HELP PEOPLE.

WHATEVER YOU SAY.

ALL RIGHT. HOW ABOUT THIS.

YOU COME BY MY OFFICE.

WATCH HOW I'M GOING TO FIX
THIS LITTLE HICCUP

WITH MY CLIENT AND GET HIM BACK
DOING BUSINESS AGAIN.

THEN YOU'LL SEE WHAT I MEAN.

WE'LL SEE.

HMM. DECIDED TO COME BY
AFTER ALL, HUH?

YEAH. I WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

I HAVE SOME APARTMENT PHOTOS
I WANTED TO SHOW YOU.

YEAH.

MARCUS, THIS IS
MY COLLEAGUE AMANDA.

SHE'S GOING TO BE
SITTING IN WITH US TODAY.

HI.

- HI.
- COME ON IN.

WHO IS THAT WOMAN?

SHE'S MY GUEST.

YOU SHOULDN'T BRING A GUEST
TO A MEETING.

IT'S UNPROFESSIONAL.

THANKS FOR YOUR OPINION.

WELL, THIS MUST BE MR. LIN.

YEAH. IT LOOKS LIKE
HE BROUGHT SOME MUSCLE.

JASON STUDIED LAW AT STANFORD.

HUH. YOU LOOK FAMILIAR.

I HAD A FRIEND
WENT TO STANFORD LAW.

JOEY PRITIKIN. YOU KNOW HIM?

LET'S JUST GET TO BUSINESS,
SHALL WE?

ALL RIGHT.

THIS MOBILE PHONE
IS INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY

EXCLUSIVELY LICENSED
TO MY CLIENT BY MR. YU BAIYANG.

THIS IDENTICAL MOBILE PHONE,

WAS MANUFACTURED BY MR. LIN
IN HIS FACTORY,

AND WE ACTUALLY BOUGHT THIS
JUST DOWN THE STREET HERE

IN A REALLY CUTE, LITTLE SHOP.

SO YOUR CLIENT
IS CLEARLY INFRINGING

ON MY CLIENT'S RIGHTS.

NO. NO.

THIS IS NOT TRUE.

I AM THE ONLY ONE
WITH PERMISSION

TO MAKE YU BAIYANG'S PHONE.

SHOW THEM.

HMM. YOU REALIZE JUST BECAUSE
YOU HAVE A SIGNED CONTRACT

DOESN'T MAKE IT VALID.

YU BAIYANG EXECUTED
MY CLIENT'S AGREEMENT

ON THE 18TH OF THIS MONTH.

AND ACCORDING TO YOUR CONTRACT,
HE EXECUTED YOURS ON THE 19TH.

AND SINCE AN EXCLUSIVE
LICENSE AGREEMENT IS SINGULAR
BY DEFINITION,

THE FACT THAT OURS IS FIRST
IN TIME RENDERS YOURS...

COMPLETELY VOID.

IMPOSSIBLE.

THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE.

THESE CONTRACTS MAKE NO SENSE.

IN MY OPINION,
WE SHOULD DO NOTHING

UNTIL YU BAIYANG RESURFACES
TO CLEAR THIS UP.

IS THAT WHAT THEY TAUGHT YOU
AT STANFORD LAW?

IF MR. LIN
KEEPS HIS FACTORY RUNNING,

HE WILL BE INTENTIONALLY
BREACHING MY CLIENT'S CONTRACT,

AND THE NEXT PHONE CALL I MAKE

WILL BE TO FILE
AN INJUNCTION AGAINST HIM

UNDER PRC CIVIL PROCEDURE LAW.

SO LET'S KEEP THIS SIMPLE,
STANFORD.

EITHER MR. LIN
STOPS MAKING THE PHONES,

OR WE SUE HIM
FOR EVERYTHING HE'S GOT.

OH, GOD.

I'M ADVISING MY CLIENT
TO STOP HIS OPERATION.

THERE'S NO NEED TO SUE.

SAM CHAO.
THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE.

I TOLD YOU NOT TO WORRY.

HOW ABOUT THIS GUY?
[LAUGHING]

SO WHAT DID YOU THINK?

I THINK YOU WERE BORN
TO BE A LAWYER.

COME ON.

I JUST GOT MY CLIENT
BACK ON THE ROAD

TO DOING BUSINESS
HERE IN CHINA.

IT WAS VERY EASY,
SINCE LIN'S ATTORNEY

WAS NOT TOO WELL-VERSED
IN TRADE LAW.

BUT MY POINT IS THIS...

I STOOD UP FOR JUSTICE
BACK THERE.

AH. YOU'RE A SUPER HERO.

WHAT?

I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
WHICH IS THE REAL YOU.

THE NICE GUY
WHO MADE MY DAUGHTER FEEL

COMPLETELY AT EASE,

OR THE CARPETBAGGER WHO HONESTLY
THINKS HE JUST HELPED SOMEONE.

I DID JUST HELP SOMEONE.

AND THAT CLINCHES IT. UH-HUH.

[TELEVISION ANNOUNCER
SPEAKING IN CHINESE]

HEY!

HEY!

OUT OF THE WAY!

[WOMAN SCREAMS]
- COMING THROUGH!!

BRAKES. BRAKES. BRAKES!

BRAKES!! BRAKES!!

BRAKES!!!

EXCUSE ME. DAMN IT.

COMING THROUGH. COMING THROUGH.

MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!

[SCREAMING AND MOANING]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

HOW DID YOU CATCH ME WITH THAT
PIECE OF RUBBISH BICYCLE?

SPINNING CLASS
THREE TIMES A WEEK, BITCH.

WHY THE HELL WERE YOU IN THAT
JFC COMMERCIAL?

ARE YOU A LAWYER OR NOT?

YES. OF COURSE I'M A LAWYER.

STOP LYING TO ME.
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

I'M AN ACTOR, OKAY?

ACTOR?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THIS WHOLE
MEETING WITH LIN WAS FAKE?

YES.

HE JUST WANTED TO GET YOU
OFF HIS BACK.

LOOK OUT, SOMEONE'S STEALING
YOUR BRIEFCASE!

[DONALD LAUGHING]

THE FAKE LAWYER TRICK?

I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT ONE
IN YEARS.

THIS GUY LIN MUST BE OLD SCHOOL.

SOUNDS LIKE THE YOUNG BUCK'S
FINALLY READY TO LISTEN

TO AN OLD MAN'S ADVICE.

HEY, YOU.

HEY.

FOUGHT ANY GOOD BATTLES
FOR JUSTICE RECENTLY?

UH, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD?
I'M ONLY OUT FOR MYSELF.

OH.

HEADING TO A PARTY?

EH, MORE LIKE A DATE.

WOW.

SOME KIND OF ANGEL
FOR YOU TO GO OUT WITH HIM.

I WOULDN'T KNOW.
IT'S A BLIND DATE.

SOME FRENCH BANKER NATALIE
SET ME UP WITH. DON'T ASK.

YOU STILL WANT TO KNOW
WHAT I SAID TO KATIE?

WHAT HAPPENED
TO ATTORNEY-CLIENT PRIVILEGE?

SHE'S A HORRIBLE CLIENT.
NEVER PAYS HER BILLS.

- MM-HMM. [BOTH LAUGHING]

YOU WANT TO KNOW OR NOT?

YES. WHAT DID YOU SAY?

THAT THE ONLY WORD I KNOW HOW
TO SAY IN CHINESE

IS FANG PI. FART.

YEAH, NO. I GOT IT.

YEAH.

OKAY. SO HOW DID THAT...

BY LETTING HER KNOW SHE'S NOT
THE ONLY WEIRDO AROUND.

IT'S NOT EASY
GROWING UP IN A PLACE

WHERE NOBODY LOOKS LIKE YOU.

UH-HUH.

AND KIDS,
THEY JUST WANT TO FIT IN.

AND ALL OF THE OTHER KIDS,
THEY ONLY SPEAK CHINESE.

SO...

HOW DO YOU THINK I WOUND UP
SPEAKING ONLY ENGLISH?

WHY DIDN'T YOU
TELL ME THAT EARLIER?

BECAUSE IT WAS OBVIOUS. OW.

WALK IT OFF.

SO WHERE ARE YOU HEADED, ANYWAY?

I'M UH...

HEADING TO MEET
THE LEGENDARY AWESOME WANG.

I THOUGHT YOU HAD THAT
ALL FIGURED OUT.

I THOUGHT I DID, TOO.

BUT IT JUST SEEMS LIKE
EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND,

THE RUG JUST KEEPS GETTING
PULLED OUT FROM UNDER ME.

AND IT FEELS LIKE EVERYONE
IS OUT TO GET ME.

YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T TALK ABOUT
YOUR PEOPLE THAT WAY.

LOOK, IT'S LIKE, I AM...

TOTALLY OUT OF MY ELEMENT HERE.

THAT LAWYER FROM YESTERDAY?
NOT A LAWYER.

TAXI DRIVERS DON'T UNDERSTAND
A WORD I'M SAYING.

OH, AND I JUST FOUND OUT
ABOUT THE BUSINESS CARD THING.

I GO TO A MEETING, I'M SUPPOSED
TO HAND OUT MY BUSINESS CARD,

APPARENTLY, YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO USE TWO HANDS

AND BOW AT THE SAME TIME.
AND I KNOW IT'S A LITTLE THING,

BUT I'M USED TO DOING THINGS
MY WAY, AND I HAD TO
THINK ABOUT IT,

AND IF I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT
EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING,

IT'S UH...

SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY'S GOING
EXPAT CRAZY.

[LAUGHING]

AT LEAST YOU KNOW HOW
YOUR PARENTS FELT.

THEY WERE IMMIGRANTS, RIGHT?

OK, WELL, AT SOME POINT
THEY UP AND MOVED

TO A FOREIGN COUNTRY FOR BETTER
JOBS AND A BETTER LIFE.

AND THEY FIGURED IT OUT.

WE AMERICANS LIKE TO
CALL OURSELVES EXPATS,

BUT THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS
WE'RE IMMIGRANTS.

THIS IS MY STOP.

GOOD LUCK.

THANKS. GOOD LUCK TO YOU TOO.

[HORN HONKS]

[CAR APPROACHES AND STOPS]

HI. YOU MUST BE AWESOME.
I'M SAM.

SAM?

SO...YOU'RE...AWESOME WANG.

TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED HELP WITH.

DONALD SAID THAT YOU'RE GREAT
AT FINDING PEOPLE.

SO, THERE'S THIS MANUFACTURER,
HIS NAME IS LIN...

HE, HE'S VIOLATING MY CLIENT'S
PRODUCT LICENSE AGREEMENT.

SO I MET WITH LIN,

AND HE--

SO I MEET WITH LIN
AND HIS LAWYER,

BUT HIS LAWYER TURNS OUT TO BE
SOME ACTOR.

HE--HE TURNS OUT TO BE
A BRITISH ACTOR.

HIS NAME IS JENSEN.

AND NOW I CAN'T--
NOW I CAN'T FIND LIN ANYWHERE.

[MAN SLURPING]

HEY, EXCUSE ME, CAN WE GO
SOMEPLACE

A LITTLE MORE PRIVATE?
I FEEL LIKE PRIVACY'S AN ISSUE.

ANYBODY HERE
UNDERSTAND THIS GUY?

I THINK YOU ARE OKAY.

SO ANYWAY, I CAN'T
FIND LIN ANYWHERE,

AND I HAVE JEN-- I HAVE
JENSEN'S PHONE NUMBER.

HE WAS IN A JFC AD, SO DONALD
HELPED ME GET THIS.

I WAS GONNA GIVE HIM A CALL,
BUT...

[MAN SLURPING]

[PHONE BEEPING]

[PHONE RINGS]

MY DAUGHTER. SHE IS TWO.

SHE'S ADORABLE.

IT WAS VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.

NICE TO MEET ALL OF YOU.

[PHONE BEEPS]

FOUND JENSEN.

WHAT IS THIS PLACE?

KTV.

WHAT?

KTV.

KTV IS ENGLISH.

NO.

[MISPRONOUNCING KARAOKE]

ARE YOU SAYING KARAOKE?

SO HOW ARE WE
SUPPOSED TO FIND HIM?

THIS PLACE IS HUGE.

[PHONE RINGS]
JENSEN: HELLO? WEI?

HELLO, JENSEN.

THIS IS WANG GEILI.

THE REPORTER
WHO TEXTED YOU EARLIER.

JENSEN: RIGHT. SORRY, MATE.

BUT I CHANGED MY MIND
ABOUT DOING THAT INTERVIEW.

UH, YOU DON'T SAY.

MAY I ASK WHY?

JENSEN: HONESTLY? THERE'S THIS
WANKER I'M TRYING TO AVOID.

UH-HUH. INTERESTING.

JENSEN: HE'S SOME LAWYER
FROM THE STATES.

OH, FROM THE STATES?

JENSEN: I DON'T NEED HIM
SEEING MY NAME IN PRINT

ALL OVER THE PRESS
ANYTIME SOON.

OH, THAT'S TOO BAD.
YOUR STORY'S INTERESTING.

I STILL WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

JENSEN: WELL, THANK YOU.
I CAN'T RIGHT NOW,

BUT IF YOU'RE STILL LOOKING
TO INTERVIEW A FOREIGN ACTOR,

THEN GIVE ME A CALL LATER,
AND I'D BE HAPPY TO.

OKAY? CHEERS, MATE.

GOODBYE.

[SINGING IN CHINESE]

WOW. YOU ARE AN ACTOR, A LAWYER,
AND A SINGER.

THAT IS REALLY IMPRESSIVE.

- DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS HERE? -
YES, WE DO.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS.

MY REPORTER FRIEND HERE WORKS
FOR SOME VERY WIDELY READ
NEWSPAPERS

IN SHANGHAI, SO UNLESS YOU WANT
EVERYONE TO KNOW--

HEY.

FANG FANG?

YOU KNOW HER?

SHE'S MY ASSISTANT!

YOU DON'T SAY.

WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

THEY'RE ABOUT TO LIE
TO YOU, BUDDY.

- SHUT UP!
- SHUT UP!

UH, JASON...

700 DAGU ROAD, APARTMENT 1804.

THAT'S WHERE HE LIVES.

SO...WORKING
AT A NIGHTCLUB, HUH?

HOW LONG HAS THAT BEEN GOING ON?

HAVING TROUBLE
UNDERSTANDING ME TONIGHT?

IS THAT WHAT IT IS?

YOU CAN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND
WHAT I'M SAYING? IS THAT IT?

AM I SPEAKING TOO FAST
OR TOO SLOW?

DAMN IT, FANG FANG,
I'M YOUR BOSS.

IF I ASK YOU A QUESTION

REGARDING YOUR EMPLOYMENT
STATUS, YOU HAVE TO ANSWER ME.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD
A SECOND JOB?

WAITRESSING IS NOT
MY SECOND JOB.

OH, GREAT. SO NOW
YOU'RE LYING TO ME.

IT'S MY FIRST JOB.

WORKING FOR YOU
IS MY SECOND JOB.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I THOUGHT YOUR PARENTS
WERE RICH OR SOMETHING.

MY FATHER
IS A CONSTRUCTION WORKER.

MY MOM CLEANS HOUSES.

WHEN I WAS HIRED AT YOUR FIRM,
I THOUGHT,

I COULD QUIT THE NIGHTCLUB.

BUT EVEN IN SHANGHAI,
THERE'S SO MUCH PRESSURE.

EVERY WOMAN WITH AN OFFICE JOB
HAS TO HAVE DESIGNER CLOTHES,

AND NICE JEWELRY,
AND ITALIAN HANDBAGS.

SO, I PRETEND TO HAVE
WEALTHY PARENTS,

AND KEPT MY OTHER JOB
JUST TO PAY FOR NICE THINGS, OK?

WELL, I GUESS THAT EXPLAINS
ALL OF THE FLIRTING.

FLIRTING?

COME ON. [CHUCKLING]

YOU HAVE BEEN MAKING EYES AT ME
SINCE THE DAY I ARRIVED.

YOU CAME TO MY HOUSE.

YOU GOT UPSET WHEN AMANDA
SHOWED UP AT THE MEETING.

AND YOU JUST THINK
I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU

RIGHT BACK TO NEW YORK WITH ME,
DON'T YOU?

I TELL YOU MY SECRET,
AND YOU ACCUSE ME OF THIS?

I WANT YOU TO SUCCEED
IN THIS JOB.

AND ACT PROFESSIONAL
SO THE OFFICE STAYS OPEN!

AND I CAN GO TO LAW SCHOOL
AND TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY.

YOU'RE JUST...

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING.

SCREW YOU, SAM. I QUIT.

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

DID YOU FIND LIN OR NOT?

COULDN'T GET IN?

AWESOME, I TOLD YOU
THAT UNIFORM SUCKS.

COME ON. IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.

STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.

- AMANDA. WHAT'S GOING ON?
- MY DATE? HE'S MARRIED.

HE'S NOT LOOKING
FOR A RELATIONSHIP,

HE'S LOOKING
TO CHEAT ON HIS WIFE.

NO, NO, NO, NO.
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS.

I LOVE MY WIFE VERY MUCH.

THEN WHY ARE YOU
ON A DATE WITH ME?

BECAUSE I PROMISED HER

I WOULDN'T HAVE AN AFFAIR
WITH A CHINESE WOMAN.

SERIOUSLY?
THAT'S YOUR REASONING?

YES, I'M A MAN.

LIVING THOUSANDS OF KILOMETERS
AWAY FROM HIS WIFE.

I HAVE NEEDS.

OH...

- SO DO YOU, YES?
- BUDDY.

SHE'S NOT INTERESTED.
SO WHY DON'T YOU BACK OFF.

OR WHAT? HMM?

WALK AWAY.

WHATEVER.

ARE YOU OKAY?

YEAH. I JUST...

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

DO YOU KNOW WHY PEOPLE HIRE ME?

BECAUSE THEY SEE A SINGLE MOM
GETTING BY IN SHANGHAI,

AND THEY THINK,
NOW THERE'S SOMEONE

WHO HAS HER ACT TOGETHER.

YOU DO.

NO. I DON'T.

I LIVE IN A HOUSE
I CAN BARELY AFFORD.

I WAKE UP
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

WONDERING WHO WILL TAKE CARE
OF KATIE

IF SOMETHING
WERE TO HAPPEN TO ME.

IT'D BE GREAT TO NOT HAVE TO
DO THIS ON MY OWN,

BUT EVERY TIME I GO ON A DATE,
IT'S, IT'S...THAT.

WELL, I GUESS
THAT MAKES YOU A DUCK.

WHAT?

[SIGHS] MY MOM USED TO SAY

THAT CERTAIN PEOPLE
WERE LIKE DUCKS BECAUSE...

THEY MAKE EVERYTHING LOOK EASY.

OUT THERE ON THE WATER,

IT'S LIKE THEY DON'T HAVE
A CARE IN THE WORLD.

BUT IF YOU LOOK BELOW
THE SURFACE...

YOU CAN SEE HOW HARD
THEIR LIVES REALLY ARE.

JUST PADDLING
THEIR LITTLE ASSES OFF.

JUST LIKE THAT.

YOU KNOW
THAT'S A CHINESE SAYING, RIGHT?

THE DUCK THING.

I THINK THAT'S AMERICAN.

OH, OK, WHO KNOWS MORE
ABOUT DUCKS?

THEY EAT MILLIONS OF THEM
IN BEIJING.

GOOD POINT.

AH, I MUST BE MORE CHINESE
THAN I THOUGHT.

COME ON.

THANKS.

OK, LET ME MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

NO WAY.

BUT-

NO BUTS.
I'M DONE WITH EXPAT GUYS.

OK, THEY'VE EITHER GOT
AN ASIAN FETISH,

OR THEY'RE...

TURKEY VULTURES.

THAT'S WHAT MY FRIEND
CALLS THEM.

BECAUSE THEY HOVER AROUND,

WAITING TO PICK UP
THE DISCARDED WHITE MEAT.

OH, GOD.

OW!

I TOLD YOU NOT TO EAT
BEFORE A FOOT MASSAGE.

SHE CAN FEEL EVERYTHING.

OK...

NOW EXPLAIN TO ME
WHAT SAM HAD TO DO WITH THIS.

SAM'S THE ONE
WHO CHASED PHILLIP AWAY.

BY DOING THAT THING GUYS DO
WHEN THEY'RE ABOUT TO FIGHT.

AND THEN OUT OF NOWHERE,

HE JUST...KISSED ME.

WHO, PHILLIP?

NO, SAM. WHY WOULD I LET
PHILLIP KISS ME?

I DON'T KNOW.

WHY WOULD YOU LET SAM KISS YOU?

I DIDN'T. NO.

STOP IT.

HE KISSED YOU.

AFTER DEFENDING YOUR HONOR.

OH, MY GOD.
I KNEW HE LIKED YOU.

WE'RE NOTHING ALIKE.

EXACTLY. OPPOSITES,
LIKE YIN YANG.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE WARM,
HE IS FIERCE.

YOU ARE EASYGOING, HE IS DRIVEN.

YOU ARE CHINESE, HE IS AMERICAN.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?

I LIVE HERE.
HE'S A SHORT TERMER.

THE SECOND HIS JOB IS DONE,
HE'S GOING HOME.

MAYBE HE WILL CHANGE HIS PLANS.

FOR GOD'S SAKE,
HE GETS ALONG WITH KATIE.

AND YOU NEED SOME ROMANCE
IN YOUR LIFE.

NO. I'M DONE WITH ROMANCE.
I WAS DOING JUST--

OR MAYBE I JUST HAVE SORE FEET.

ANYBODY EVER CONSIDERED THAT?

DONALD: JUST A REMINDER,
WE'VE GOT A MEET AND GREET

WITH COMMERCE SECRETARY WHITSON
ON THE EVENING OF THE 29TH.

IT IS THE 29TH, RIGHT?

- MAN: YEAH.
- DONALD: GOOD.

HE'S GONNA BE IN TOWN
FOR SOME MEETINGS

AND SOME PHOTO OPS, SO IF
ANYONE'S GOT ANY GRIPES,

ABOUT TRADE SUBSIDIES,
HERE'S YOUR CHANCE

TO HAVE SOME FACE TIME
WITH THE MAN.

I'M TALKING TO YOU, JANET.

I LOVE YOU, TOO, DONALD.

NOW IT'S TIME TO TURN THINGS
OVER TO TED HOLMBY.

WHO'S GOT THIS YEAR'S
AMCHAM ELECTION RESULTS.

IS THIS SEAT TAKEN?

NO, NO. PLEASE, SIT.

[APPLAUSE]

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE
COMING TO THIS THING.

YEAH. DONALD CALLED ME
THIS MORNING.

I THOUGHT I SHOULD COME.
SHOW HIM MY SUPPORT.

SAME.

YEAH.

IT'S THE CLOSEST ELECTION
THEY SAID IN YEARS.

YEAH. YEP.

SO...

CLOSE. CLOSE.

SO HOW'D IT GO WITH UM,
AWESOME WANG?

I MAY JUST UH, DIG MYSELF
OUT OF THIS HOLE.

I'M JUST WAITING FOR HIM
TO CALL.

THAT'S GREAT.

YEAH.

HOW'D IT GO WITH THE UM,
THE FRENCH GUY?

- UH, PHILLIP?
- YEAH.

YEAH. NO MORE TROUBLE.

I THINK YOU SCARED HIM OFF
PRETTY GOOD.

GOOD.

NOT THAT SCARING PEOPLE
IS A GOOD THING.

I'M JUST, I'M GLAD YOU'RE...OK.

HEY, LISTEN, IF I OVERSTEPPED
ANY BOUNDARIES LAST NIGHT...

THREE MONTHS,
IS THAT SET IN STONE?

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
SOMETIMES PEOPLE STAY LONGER.

MAYBE.

I MEAN, I COULD
SEE MYSELF STAYING.

A LITTLE BIT LONGER.

OKAY.

OKAY.

WOW.

THANK YOU.

WAIT. WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

ESTHER WU IS THE NEW MAYOR
OF AMERICATOWN.

ESTHER: THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THIS IS SUCH A SURPRISE.

I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS AT ALL.

MAN: WAY TO GO, ESTHER!

ESTHER: THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THIS IS A GREAT DAY.

DONALD. DONALD!

48 PERCENT.

THAT'S IT?

YEAH.

I THOUGHT EVERYONE LOVED HIM.

THEY DO, OR THEY DID.

I GUESS THAT TIMES ARE FINALLY
CATCHING UP WITH HIM.

I SHOULD GO CHECK ON HIM.

SEE IF I CAN GET THE MAYOR
OF CANADATOWN

TO COME CHEER HIM UP.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

LISTEN, I HAVE TICKETS TO THIS
AMERICAN FILM FESTIVAL--

NEXT WEEK. I'M PRETTY SURE
ALL THE FILMS ARE IN ENGLISH.

BUT I DIDN'T KNOW IF MAYBE
YOU WEREN'T TOO BUSY--

IF YOU'D WANT TO...GO.

IT'S AWESOME.

OH.

I MEAN, AWESOME WANG.
HE'S CALLING ME. UH, I GOTTA--

RIGHT. NO, DIG YOURSELF
OUT OF THAT...HOLE.

UH, BUT THE MOVIE,
THAT SOUNDS UH, AWESOME, TOO.

SO, I'LL CALL YOU, OK?

YEAH, DO THAT.
THAT'D BE AWE... SOME.

OK.

HEY. DID YOU FIND HIM?

ENGLISH, AWESOME.
I CAN'T SEE YOU.

YOU HAVE TO SPEAK ENGLISH.

I GOT INTO THE BUILDING.

IT DOES NOT SEEM LIKE
THE KIND OF PLACE

WHERE A SNEAKY BUSINESSMAN
WOULD LIVE.

GREAT. SO JENSEN LIED
ABOUT THE ADDRESS.

OR LIN IS NOT
WHO WE THINK HE IS.

ARE YOU SURE
OF YOUR FACTS, SAM?

HE HAD AN ACTOR POSE
AS HIS LAWYER, AWESOME.

THAT'S ALL I NEED TO KNOW.

SO WHAT THE HELL
DO WE DO NOW?

SORRY. I'M OUT OF IDEAS.

I'M STARTING TO THINK THIS ISN'T
THE MOST EFFECTIVE STRATEGY.

I KNOW, BRAD! I GET IT!

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

MR. CHAO.

NEW YORK IS STARTING
VIDEO CALL SOON.

[SIGHS] CAN I HELP YOU, GUANG?

FANG FANG QUIT
BECAUSE SHE LOVED YOU,

AND YOU BROKE HER HEART.

YOU CHOSE
THAT AMERICAN WOMAN INSTEAD.

YOU ARE A ROTTEN RADISH!

WHAT?

IT'S NOT FUNNY.

[VIDEO SIGNAL BEEPS]

PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE OPENING
AN ELECTRONICS STORE.

NO, SIR. I AM NOT.

UH, THESE ARE THE PHONES
THAT LIN IS PRODUCING.

I'VE BEEN GOING AROUND,
BUYING AS MANY AS I CAN FIND

TO KEEP THEM OFF THE STREET.

THIS IS NOT GOOD, SAM.

NOT GOOD FOR THE FIRM,
AND CERTAINLY NOT FOR YOU.

GET ON THE FIRST FLIGHT
BACK TO NEW YORK.

WE NEED TO HAVE A FACE TO FACE
DISCUSSION ABOUT YOUR FUTURE.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD
GO ON A VACATION.

I HATE VACATIONS.

OK, WELL, MAKE IT EXCITING.
HOW ABOUT A SAFARI?

OH, YOU SHOULD GO TO BANGKOK.

I KNOW THIS REALLY HOT
MASSEUSE THERE.

HER NAME'S KEVIN.

THIS DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.

IT'S NOT. I'M UH...

I GOT CALLED BACK TO NEW YORK.

YOU'RE LEAVING ALREADY?

YEAH. MY FLIGHT'S
IN A FEW HOURS.

I THOUGHT I SHOULD COME BY
AND SAY GOODBYE BEFORE I LEFT.

AMANDA, CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A MINUTE IN PRIVATE?

ALL RIGHT. OK.

DONALD.

GOOD LUCK. WATCH YOUR BACK.

I REALLY WAS THINKING
ABOUT STAYING.

SURE YOU WERE.

I'M SORRY, I...

LOOK, I'M GONNA GO BACK
TO NEW YORK. AND UH...

AND WHAT?

YOU KNEW EXACTLY WHAT I WAS
ASKING YOU THE OTHER NIGHT.

WHY DIDN'T YOU
JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH?

I SWEAR, I DIDN'T KNOW
I WAS LEAVING.

I DID.

SOONER OR LATER,
YOU WERE ALWAYS GOING HOME.

YOU SEEM TROUBLED.

MAY I ASK WHY?

[CHUCKLES]

IT'S COMPLICATED.

I CAME HERE TO CHINA

BECAUSE I THOUGHT
IT WOULD HELP MY CAREER.

AND NOW MY CAREER IS OVER.

SO THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, CHINA.

SORRY. I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE
SARCASTIC TO YOU.

I JUDGE NOT.

SURELY THERE WAS SOMETHING YOU
ENJOYED DURING YOUR STAY HERE.

YEAH, THERE WAS.

BUT SHE'S PISSED AT ME.

AH. A WOMAN, HUH?

YEAH.

NOT EXACTLY YOUR AREA OF
EXPERTISE, I'M GUESSING.

RIGHT. WELL...

ANYWAY, THERE'S NO USE
IN OBSESSING OVER IT.

I'M NEVER GOING TO SEE HER
AGAIN, SO...

ONE NEVER KNOWS
WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS.

I KNOW. TRUST ME, I KNOW.

DO YOU SEE THIS BEAN HERE?

IT WAS ONCE JUST A PIT
OF A SMALL BERRY.

LEFT UNDISTURBED,

IT WOULD HAVE REMAINED SO.

BUT BEING PLUCKED
FROM ITS SHELL,

SCORCHED IN FLAME...

CRUSHED INTO POWDER...

AND BOILED IN WATER
TRANSFORMS THIS INTO SOMETHING

FAR MORE DELICIOUS,
AND FAR MORE MEANINGFUL,

THAN JUST A MERE PIT.

A LITTLE CONFUSED. UM...

ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID.

AM I THE COFFEE BEAN?
IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE...

AM I THE PIT?

I'M THE PIT, I GOTTA GET
ALL BURNED AND BOILED

AND ALL THAT STUFF BEFORE I CAN
BECOME THE BEAN?

IS THAT IT?

OK, LISTEN,
I'VE BEEN THROUGH ALL THAT.

I'VE BEEN BOILED,
I'VE BEEN BURNED,

I LOST MY JOB,
AND I LOST THE GIRL.

AND AFTER ALL THAT...

I'M STILL A PIT.

WAIT A MINUTE.

THAT'S IT.

AMANDA.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. THANK YOU.

I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD GIVE YOU
A DONATION OR SOMETHING.

DONATION?

YEAH. 'CAUSE YOU'RE A MONK.

WHY DO ALL AMERICANS
THINK I AM A MONK?

I JUST ENJOY WEARING ROBES
AND GIVING ADVICE.

NOT ALL BALD MEN IN CHINA
IS A MONK, YOU KNOW?

NO, NO, NO. WHATEVER IT IS,
I'M NOT HELPING YOU.

ALL I HAVE
IS LIN'S HOME ADDRESS.

IF YOU COULD JUST LOOK THROUGH
YOUR REAL ESTATE DATABASE--

YOU'RE NOT MY CLIENT ANYMORE.

THEN I'M HERE TO HIRE YOU.

NO, I AM.
I WANT TO BUY LIN'S APARTMENT.

AND I CAN'T CONTACT HIM
WITHOUT HIS PHONE NUMBER, RIGHT?

COME ON.

I'M SORRY. I'M TRYING TO BECOME
A COFFEE BEAN HERE.

WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW. NEVER MIND.

I ADMIT IT, OKAY?

I ONLY CAME HERE
TO MAKE PARTNER.

A SELFISH PRICK WHO WILL STEP
ON ANYONE TO GET WHAT HE WANTS?

TAKE IT EASY.

MY POINT IS, I DON'T WANT TO BE
THAT GUY ANYMORE.

AND PROVING THAT TO YOU IS GOING
TAKE MORE THAN THE THREE HOURS

THAT I HAVE LEFT
BEFORE MY FLIGHT TAKES OFF.

SO PLEASE, JUST HELP ME
FIND THIS GUY.

IT'S MY ONLY SHOT AT BUYING A
LITTLE MORE TIME HERE WITH YOU.

GIVE ME THE ADDRESS.

NO. COME INSIDE.

OKAY, LIN, LIN, LIN.

I AM NOT SEEING
ANY PHONE NUMBERS,

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE
HE RECENTLY SOLD

ALL RIGHT. WELL, A LEAD'S
A LEAD. I'LL CHECK IT OUT.

WAIT. HANG ON.
THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE.

HE ALSO JUST BOUGHT A COMMERCIAL
PROPERTY IN CHANGZHOU.

WHAT IS THAT, LIKE
A NEIGHBORHOOD OR SOMETHING?

NO. IT'S AN INDUSTRIAL TOWN
OUTSIDE OF SHANGHAI.

DO THEY HAVE FACTORIES THERE?

YEAH, LOTS.

IN FACT, IT LOOKS LIKE THIS
ONE THAT HE OWNS IS A FACTORY.

DO YOU THINK?

YES. I DO.

THAT'S IT! THAT'S WHERE
HE'S MAKING THE PHONES.

AND YOU FOUND IT.
YOU ARE A LIFESAVER!

WOULD YOU STOP DOING THAT?

OK, I'M SORRY. I WAS EXCITED.

JUST GO, FIND LIN, OK?

AND GIVE ME TIME TO THINK.

[PHONE RINGS]
DONALD: HELLO?

DONALD! HEY, HEY, IT'S SAM.

LISTEN, I KNOW
WHERE LIN'S FACTORY IS.

APPARENTLY HE OWNS SOME
INDUSTRIAL PROPERTY

IN A PLACE CALLED UH,
CHAN-ZOO.

ALL: CHANGZHOU.

RIGHT. WHATEVER THEY JUST SAID.

LISTEN, I THINK I CAN STILL
SALVAGE THIS THING.

HOW DO I FILE AN INJUNCTION
AGAINST THE FACTORY?

CHANGZHOU IS IN
THE JIANGSU PROVINCE.

YOU NEED TO FILE A COMPLAINT
WITH THE JIANGSU ADMINISTRATION

OF INDUSTRY AND COMMERCE.

OK.

DONALD: MAKE AN APPOINTMENT,
PLEAD YOUR CASE,

AND CONVINCE THEM TO GET
A MAGISTRATE OUT THERE

TO SHUT THE PLANT DOWN.
IT MIGHT TAKE A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

COUPLE OF WEEKS?
I DON'T HAVE A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

CAN--THERE HAS TO BE
A FASTER WAY HERE.

NOT UNLESS YOU HAVE SOME GUANXI
WITH THE JIANGSU AIC.

HOW AM I GONNA GET THAT?

I HAVE A COUSIN
THAT WORKS THERE.

DONALD, I'LL CALL YOU BACK.

YOU HAVE A COUSIN, GUANG.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?

LISTEN TO ME,
YOU JUST MADE MY DAY.

PLEASE CALL HIM FOR ME.

THE FLOWERS ARE DYING.

FORGET ABOUT THE FLOWERS.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
COUSINS HERE.

CAN YOU PLEASE CALL HIM FOR ME?

I DON'T KNOW.

I AM STILL UPSET WITH YOU FOR
TOYING WITH FANG FANG'S HEART.

I DIDN'T TOY
WITH FANG FANG'S HEART!

THERE WAS NOTHING GOING ON
BETWEEN ME AND FANG FANG, OK?

SHE WAS PISSED AT ME BECAUSE
BECAUSE I WAS A JERK,

AND THAT'S WHY SHE QUIT.

THAT'S THE TRUTH. NOW PLEASE,
CALL YOUR COUSIN FOR ME.

I AM DESPERATE.

HOW DESPERATE?

HI. MY NAME'S SAM.
I'M LOOKING FOR FANG FANG.

I WORK WITH HER.
I'M HER BOSS ACTUALLY.

UH, I HAVE A BUSINESS CARD.

OH, ALL RIGHT.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I'M SORRY FOR INSULTING YOU
THE OTHER DAY.

IT WAS CONDESCENDING
AND RUDE...

I WAS, I WAS WAY OUT OF LINE.

YEAH, RIGHT.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I WANT YOU TO GO ON A DATE
WITH GUANG.

ARE YOU CRAZY?

PLEASE, FANG FANG, I'LL GIVE YOU
ANYTHING YOU WANT.

ANYTHING.

ANYTHING.

HIRE ME BACK.

DONE. THAT'S...DONE.

HELP ME WITH MY LAW SCHOOL
ENTRANCE EXAM.

HELP YOU WITH YOUR LAW SCHOOL
ENTRANCE EXAM.

ABSOLUTELY. I WILL HELP YOU.

NOW WILL YOU JUST...

PLEASE, GO ON A DATE WITH GUANG?

SAM?

MAY I?

OH, YEAH. ABSOLUTELY.

WHATEVER HE SAID RIGHT THERE
I'M SURE IS REALLY ROMANTIC.

HOW ABOUT IT, FANG FANG?
JUST ONE DATE?

WHAT'D I TELL YOU?

SO FANG FANG IS FAXING
THE CONTRACT EVIDENCE

TO JIANGSU AIC AS WE SPEAK,

SO ASSUMING
EVERYTHING IS IN ORDER,

THEY'RE SENDING A MAGISTRATE
TO THE FACTORY.

SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT THIS
ALL WRAPPED UP.

OH, GUESS WHO JUST DROVE HERE
IN HIS NEW RIDE, BITCHES?

I'M NOT JUST SOME HORNY
ENGLISH TEACHER ANYMORE.

I'M A HORNY ENGLISH TEACHER
WITH A CAR!

YOU'RE STILL HERE.

YES, AND I MIGHT BE
FOR A BIT LONGER.

BUT I NEED A FAVOR.
I NEED A LIFT TO CHANGZHOU.

SO HOW ABOUT WE TAKE
THIS NEW RIDE OF YOURS

FOR A TEST DRIVE?

I'D LOVE TO. ROAD TRIP!

- HE WANTS TO COME WITH.
- GREAT. LET'S GO.

WHOA.

MR. LIN.

AH, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
YOU LOOK GOOD.

I HAVE A MAGISTRATE HERE.
HE'D LIKE TO SPEAK WITH YOU.

PLEASE, YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

I SPENT ALL MY FAMILY'S MONEY
INTO THIS FACTORY.

AND PRODUCE THIS PHONE.

I'LL BE BANKRUPT
IF YOU SHUT IT DOWN.

YEAH, DUDE.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

THE SYSTEM WORKED.

YEAH.
AND LIN'S OUT OF BUSINESS.

AND I AM FINALLY,
FINALLY OUT OF TROUBLE.

[LOUD NOISE]

WHAT IS THAT NOISE?

THE SOUND OF TROUBLE!

AGAIN, AWESOME,
WITH THE JANITOR DISGUISE?

I TOLD YOU THIS--

LISTEN. LIN TOLD THE HEAD WORKER

TO COME AND COLLECT
THE SEVERANCE PAY.

ONLY YOU TWO
LOOK LIKE YOU MIGHT HAVE IT.

SO? I'LL JUST TELL THEM
THAT WE DON'T WORK WITH LIN.

[GROANS]

[CHUCKLES] WE UH, WE, WE DON'T
WORK FOR...FOR MR. LIN.

I DON'T THINK
HE UNDERSTANDS YOU, DUDE.

YES, I CAN SEE THAT, BRAD.
WHAT DO WE DO?

- RUN!
- YEAH!

[SPEAKING IN SLOW MOTION]
THERE ARE SO MANY.

GO!!

GO! GO!

GET TO THE CAR!

I'M GETTING! I'M GETTING!
I'M GETTING!

GET IN! GET IN!
[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

[ELEVATOR RINGS]

THANK YOU.

UM...HOW'D IT GO?

COUPLE OF HICCUPS.

MM-HMM.

BUT UM...

WE DID IT.

YEAH?

YEAH.

I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

YOU CAN SEE THE NEW ME.

DID YOU GET A HOLD OF
MARCUS GROFF?

UM, YES.

ACTUALLY HE JUST ARRIVED.

BUT THERE'S NO PLACE
TO SIT DOWN IN THERE

BECAUSE OF ALL
THE DAMN PHONES.

NOW TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN'T HAVE
YOUR FIRM DISMANTLED

AND SOLD FOR SCRAP
THIS VERY INSTANT.

BECAUSE I FIXED EVERYTHING.

LIN'S FACTORY
HAS BEEN SHUT DOWN, MARCUS.

IT HAS?

YES. AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT I TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY

AND IF ANYONE SHOULD TO TAKE
THE FALL, IT SHOULD BE ME.

NOT THE PEOPLE AT FIRM,

AND NOT THESE WONDERFUL PEOPLE
HERE AT THE SHANGHAI OFFICE.

DON'T SWEAT IT, MAN.

WELL...

THIS TURNED OUT BETTER
THAN I HAD HOPED.

HOW'S THAT?

LIN THINKS HIS CONTRACT
ISN'T ANY GOOD.

PLUS I GET A SHIPPING CONTAINER
FULL OF PHONES

HE BUILT ON HIS OWN DIME.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN LIN HE THINKS
HIS CONTRACT IS NO GOOD?

IT IS NO GOOD.

WAIT A SECOND.
IS THAT YU BAIYANG?

HE SAID SOMETHING
DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT

WHEN HE WENT TO LIN'S APARTMENT.

SO HE WENT TO FIND THE INVENTOR.

YOUR CLIENT LIED TO YOU.
LIKE BIG TIME.

MR. YU. HELLO AGAIN.

I CAN SEE YOU'RE BUSY.
NO PROBLEM.

IF I CAN JUST GET YOU...

TO SIGN THIS CONTRACT
WE DISCUSSED.

ABOUT THE PHONE?

NO. I PROMISED MY SHAREHOLDERS

I HAD SOMETHING BIG
IN THE PIPELINE.

I WAS GOING TO PAY YOU
A LOT OF MONEY FOR IT.

SAM? IT'S MARCUS GROFF.

WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM.

MARCUS. IS THIS TRUE?
IS LIN INNOCENT?

HE'S NOT INNOCENT.

HE HIRED AN ACTOR
TO POSE AS HIS ATTORNEY

BECAUSE HE COULD NOT AFFORD
A REAL ATTORNEY.

AFTER STARTING UP HIS BUSINESS.

I SPENT ALL MY FAMILY'S MONEY
INTO THIS FACTORY.

I'LL BE BANKRUPT
IF YOU SHUT IT DOWN.

WHAT'S DONE IS DONE.

YOU LIED TO ME, MARCUS.

YOU USED ME TO CHEAT AN INNOCENT
MAN OUT OF A HUGE BUSINESS DEAL.

YOU REALIZE THAT?

RELAX. GROFF TECHNOLOGIES
IS GOING TO MAKE

A BILLION DOLLARS NEXT YEAR,

AND THAT MEANS MORE BUSINESS
FOR YOUR FIRM.

I'M GONNA SEND OVER A TRUCK
TO PICK UP THESE PHONES, OK?

IT'S NICE WORKING WITH YOU, SAM.

BYE.

[PHONE RINGS]

HELLO? POWELL AND DAVIES.

ONE MOMENT PLEASE.

NEW YORK IS CALLING TO SEE WHY
YOU DIDN'T GET ON THAT PLANE.

WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO TELL THEM?

DON'T THINK ABOUT IT
TOO HARD, SAM.

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.

ACTUALLY, I DON'T.

MARCUS GROFF'S COMPANY
PAYS YOUR SALARY.

HE'S ONE OF OUR MOST
VALUABLE CLIENTS.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHER
CLIENTS OUT THERE.

THIS GUY LIN,
HE COULD USE REPRESENTATION.

GROFF HAS THE INFRASTRUCTURE
AND THE RESOURCES

TO REVOLUTIONIZE THE COMPUTING
INDUSTRY WITH THIS TECHNOLOGY,

AND YOU WANT TO SIDE WITH
A BACKYARD OPERATION LIKE LIN?

- SAM. JUST REMEMBER
WHICH TEAM YOU PLAY FOR.

WHICH TEAM IS THAT EXACTLY?

YOU GUYS SENT ME OUT HERE
BECAUSE I'M CHINESE.

YOU WANTED SOMEONE WHO COULD
CONNECT WITH THE PEOPLE.

MY PEOPLE.

AND NOW YOU WANT ME
TO SCREW ONE OF THEM.

OH, WHEN THE HELL DID YOU CARE
WHO GETS SCREWED?

SAM.

YOU KNOW WHAT GROFF
IS WORTH TO US.

AND WE KNOW WHAT MAKING PARTNER
WOULD MEAN TO YOU.

SO JUST GIVE GROFF THE PHONES,
AND EVERYBODY WINS.

I MET SOME PRETTY FAMOUS
ATTORNEYS IN LAW SCHOOL.

GUYS I MODELED MY CAREER AFTER.

AND I'M PRETTY SURE NONE OF THEM
WOULD UNDERSTAND

WHAT I'M DOING.

YOU ARE AN HONORABLE MAN.

NO. I'M JUST A COFFEE BEAN.

READY?

YEAH.

I'LL TAKE THAT.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
SAM OFTEN THOUGHT

HE MIGHT OPEN
HIS OWN LAW PRACTICE SOMEDAY.

BUT HE NEVER IMAGINED

THAT DAY WOULD COME SO SOON.

OR THAT HIS PRACTICE
WOULD BE IN SHANGHAI.

AWESOME WANG (V.O.)
THIS WAS NOT THE ENDING

I ANTICIPATED
WHEN I FIRST MET SAM.

HERE WAS AN AMBITIOUS MAN

WHO WOULD DO ANYTHING
FOR HIS CAREER.

BUT WHEN OFFERED THE JOB
HE WANTED ALL ALONG,

HE CHOSE INSTEAD
TO DO THE RIGHT THING.

PERHAPS I SHOULDN'T BE
SO SURPRISED.

SHANGHAI IS A CITY
THAT IS ALWAYS CHANGING.

WHY SHOULD THE PEOPLE
WHO COME TO SHANGHAI

BE ANY DIFFERENT?

YOU MAY LEARN TO BECOME
A FAR MORE HUMBLE PERSON.

BECOME THE PERSON
YOU ALWAYS DREAMED OF BEING.

REALIZE YOU'VE BEEN CHASING
THE WRONG DREAM

FOR FAR TOO LONG.

NICE CAR.

WHOA.

OR YOU MAY FIND

THAT THE TRIP
YOU NEVER WANTED TO TAKE

HAS BECOME THE MOST
REWARDING JOURNEY OF ALL.

DO YOU MIND
KEEPING AN EYE ON HER

WHILE I GET YOUR CAKE READY?

HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY.

STILL DIGGING THAT HOLE
TO AMERICA, HUH?

HOW DO YOU SAY SHOVEL AGAIN?

CHANZI.

CHANZI. [SPEAKING CHINESE]

AWESOME WANG (V.O.)
THIS WAS THE STORY

OF AN AMERICAN NAMED SAM.

A GOOD MAN, WHO WAS LOVED BY
EVERYONE HE MET IN SHANGHAI.

FOR REAL THIS TIME.

[RAP MUSIC PLAYS]

TAKE ONE.

I AM TOTALLY
OUT OF MY ELEMENT HERE.

[HORN HONKS]

THAT GUY IS TOO.

IT DOESN'T MATTER
HOW ANGRY SHE WAS,

THE FACT THAT SHE'S
CALLING YOU NOW,

MEANS SHE CARES ABOUT YOU.
SORRY. [LAUGHING]

SORRY TO GIVE YOU
THAT SERIOUS FACE.

NO. I SAID "ANGWY."

YOU'VE BEEN IN CHINA TOO LONG.

[LAUGHING]

SORRY. ONE MORE TIME.

CUT. CUT. [LAUGHING]

EVER SINCE RELOCATING
TO SHANGHAI,

I'VE REALLY FALLEN IN LOVE
WITH CHINESE CULTURE.

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

LET'S DO THAT AGAIN.

HE WANTS TO COME WITH.

GREAT, GREAT.
THE MORE THE MERRIER.

UH, YOU OR, YOU...

WE GOTTA GO.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

- TAKE ONE.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

- TAKE TWO.

I DO NOT NEED ROMANCE.
I WAS DOING JUST FINE.

OW!

- TAKE THREE.

I WAS DOING JUST FI...

[BLEEP]

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

NO. NO.

WOULD YOU STOP DOING THAT?

- TAKE TWO.

- HEY, DANIEL?
- YO.

JUST GRAB HER HEAD.

YEAH. THAT'S SURE
GONNA GET IT.

CLAM IT UP, DANIEL.

THE REASON, THE REASON,
THAT I WANTED--

THE WHAT?

- TAKE TWO.
- HI.

THE REA-- [LAUGHING]

EXCUSE ME.

DO YOU WANT TO CUT AGAIN?

I'M SO SORRY.
IT'S SO EMBARRASSING.

AH!

DAMN! THAT IS A DELICIOUS BAOZI.

CAN WE DO THIS AGAIN?

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I'LL TAKE THIS SIDE.
YOU TAKE THIS SIDE.

OK.

SIR, SIR, CAN I GET SOME...
[BLEEP]

WE HAVE BEEN LOOKING
AT THIS MENU FOR HOURS.

YOU GOT IT, DANIEL.
BEND YOUR KNEES A LITTLE BIT.