All language subtitles for Kid Sister s02e02 Shabbos Goy.eng

? ?

? ?

Lulu: When I gave my baby away,
my fam promised me a car.

And honestly, perfect trade.

This is the best thing
I've ever owned.

And for the first time
in my adult life,

I finally feel my age.

But someone had to
take my place.

? ?

Drive, drive!

? ?

I didn't survive auschwitz

To be kept prisoner
again, noodle.

That's valid as hell.

Why are you wearing pyjamas?

Why get dressed?

They're all gonna come off
again in a minute anyway.

Ugh!

How long do you need, 20?

I'm a gentleman.

Give me an hour.

? ?

[car door slamming]

? ?

Go on then,
they'll see you.

Lulu: Ah, to be old and wild.

? oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah

? oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ?

? ?

So, what are we
working with here?

Um, well, growing up,
we were kosher.

So, no pork,
no shellfish,

And no going out
Friday nights.

And then when
we finished school,

My parents were
basically just like,

"you can choose
what you wanna keep doing."

And did you keep
doing anything?

[mumbles]

- What?
- No.

Ollie, mate, did
you get those books?

No, no, no, you
don't need to show me.

Did you read them?

- Uh huh.
- Rabbi: Oh, good.

How many categories of work
are prohibited on the sabbath?

- 39.
- Can you give me any examples?

No writing, driving,
carrying, cooking,

Planting, plowing.

[lulu chuckles]

Plowing, like--like sex.

- Sex is encouraged on shabbat.
- Lulu: Really?

Oh-kay.

Rock on, hashem.

So, lulu, what is the word
for an item considered

Off limits on shabbat?

Oh, um, mmm, mo--

Something mm--

- Ollie?
- Muktzeh.

Muktzeh, yeah.

I just forgot it,
it's fine.

Okay, when do you
light the candles?

When everyone
arrives for dinner.

Rabbi: Wow.

Woooooow.

18 minutes before the sun
sets on the air of shabbat.

Rabbi: Look, I'm gonna be
very direct with you, lulu.

Your mildly orthodox
upbringing

Is not gonna carry you
through this process.

You're gonna have
to up your game.

So, next week,
I expect a full report

On your first strict
shabbat together.

- Sweet.
- Great.

No problem.

Ollie, I've got
a treat for you.

I want to show you
something, hoo hoo.

Have you ever
laid eyes on...

A baby sitar?

- Ollie: Wow.
- Rabbi: Isn't it wow?

? ?

Leo: In exchange for
placing ads in our bathrooms,

They've offered up 40%
of our series a funding.

It's such a great result
and we're really pleased.

Bec: Leo, is noah crying?

I can hear him in the shower.

Just a moment, everyone.

- No, he's absolutely fine.
- Bec: Are you sure?

I can hear him.

It's in your imagination.

And our partnership with shtank
is progressing really nicely.

That's it.

Leo, you're
actually muted again.

Oh, I'm just talking
wordlessly into the camera.

That's awesome,
there we go.

I was just saying
the poo drops people--

Bec: He is crying, leo.

I can hear him clear as day.

He's not crying.

You've just gone
fricking mental.

You're going mental.

- [child crying]
- oh, no.

Sorry, can you guys
hear me?

I'm just trying--I'm just
trying to say poo drops.

I really wish I
could mute the baby.

Of course, I could not
leave this with you.

Come on, no,
just give him--

No, it's fine, I'll just
take him to work with me.

I can not leave him
with you.

I've got him.

That is okay, thank you.

Bec: Hey, baby.

? ?

Lulu: $100 for a hot tray.

Ollie, I could buy a hundred
dollar mixers for that.

I know, but we need
warm food.

Okay, but god
invented the microwave.

We can't push
buttons on shabbat.

Lulu: I know that.

But if you were to
do a little beep, beep,

Boop, boop, the rabbi
wouldn't need to know.

I reckon lying is gonna
be huge for us

Throughout this process.

You seem like someone
who cheated a lot

During the 40 hour famine.

You are so off base.

I never did the
40 hour famine, honey.

I did a 40-minute salmon once.

It was good.

That's literally the
opposite of a famine.

- ? ?
- hello.

Is anybody keen to help a fellow
with a self tape tomorrow?

I'm going in for
talking cgi tree.

Can't say what
the project is,

But we can say
it's a blockbuster.

Well, apparently we're
observing the sabbath tomorrow.

And so we can't
touch electronics.

- Observing the sabbath?
- Mm hmm.

Observing it doing what?

? ?

? ?

We've called this little ama
because we're moving

Faster than we thought
on the conversion.

So, does anybody
have any questions?

Oh, yeah, yeah,
I do actually.

I've been wondering
for a while now.

Since you guys don't eat ham,
what do you eat at christmas?

I feel like maybe we need
to take things back

A few more steps.

Just talk him through.

Okay, so basically,
what I've come to understand

Is that there is no christmas.

And also, no easter.

Okay.

That's wrong.

I had another one
as well actually.

This one was about
acidic jews.

Why are they acidic?

Are there alkaline jews?

Also kosher salt,
what is that?

- Why is it called--
- okay, raymond, shut up.

I am chill with whatever.

But I know if you forget to
prepare something for shabbat,

Then you can kind of like
half ask a non-jew for help.

So, I'm just gonna say it.

I am not interested in
being a shabbos goy.

And neither is ray ray.

Wait, what is a goy,
goy is a non-jew?

Hmm.

So, just circling back,
that's a no from you two

Helping me with my self tape?

- No.
- Ugh.

? ?

- Such a goy.
- You're a goy.

? ?

Okay, so I will manage
entertainment

And make sure that
the house is shabbos-proof.

And I may also be debuting
a new neck scarf at some point

And will need
a lot of support.

- [phone ringing]
- lulu: Okay, king, I got you.

[phone ringing]

Rebecca.

Is there any way you have time
to help at the deli today?

[baby crying]

Bec: I will pay you,
noah is losing it

And I gotta get him
out of here.

And believe me, I've tried
everyone before you.

- [baby still crying]
- yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll come in now if you want.

That would be a lifesaver.

Sorry, just one second--hurry.

Okay, you do all of that,

And I will sort food
and challah and stuff.

Thanks, queen.

Okay, papi, I'm gonna go brush
my teeth and maybe take a shit.

Do you think I missed
a trick,

Not taking you to
midnight mass or something?

- No.
- No.

And jewish is a bit
more fun, isn't it?

- Judaism.
- It's about the traditions.

Ollie: Not really,
it's pretty strict.

Like, we have to
pre-tear toilet paper

So we don't rip it
on the day.

Oh, is that why
we're doing this?

Gosh.

Not simple, is it?

I like it.

I like the challenge.

You were always funny
like that with your games.

All those years as a teen,

I thought you were
doing drugs in your room.

And you were actually
playing the sims.

My sims did drugs.

- They did a lot of drugs.
- [mum laughs]

Hey, how's noah?

I don't know.

I haven't seen him
since last week.

All good.

Yeah, all good,
I was just wondering.

You know he's not ours,
right, mum?

Like, he's bec and
leo's baby officially.

I know.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

No, I know.

? ?

Lulu: Thank you, ron,
have a gorgeous day.

Hi.

Oh, some chockes,
good on ya, good shabbos.

Keren: How are my dolls?

You managing okay?

Lulu: Yeah, not bad,
not bad.

Are you having lots of
people for shabbos tonight?

No, it's gonna be
bloody depressing

Not having you guys
with us.

Have you seen much
of bridget?

Because I can't figure out
why she's still here.

I'm like,
"clear out, bitch.

Get your witch hands
off my grandchild."

Just playing.

"go back to your livestock,
hag, wellington hag."

- Thanks, natalie.
- Thank you, good shabbos.

Good shabbos.

No, but I'm happy you guys
are giving this a real go.

Anything to get this
conversion wrapped up.

Yeah, I mean, it'll
take as long as it takes.

Keren: Well, I hope not.

Every night when
other people count sheep,

Your father and I
count your eggs.

There goes another one,
oh, and another.

- Thanks, anthony.
- Good shabbos.

- Good shabbos.
- Good shabbos, anthony.

Our teacher is so full on.

He's like, "ollie's getting
circumcised in five minutes.

You're gonna get married
in 10 minutes, capisce?"

It's like, whoa.

What d'you mean
he said married?

Well, according to him,

That's how this whole thing
ends, he set a date.

What date?

No, I mean,
obviously it's hypothetical.

We're not actually gonna
stick to his schedule.

But on the bus ride home,
ollie and I were like,

Whoaaaa, you know,
it's like just--

When's your
fucking wedding, lulu?

[music playing]

- Don't do this.
- How soon?

[music playing]

- He said like eight months?
- Oh.

- I have to go.
- Mum.

Mum, don't do this.

Where are you going?

What hath thou brought?

[music playing]

No, you're fucked.

Those are imported.

How much are they?

[music playing]

$49?

[baby crying]

[baby crying]

[baby crying]

? ?

? queenie, queenie,
don't drop the ball

? queenie, queenie,
don't drop the ball ?

Lulu: So long as
I keep my hands busy

And don't experience
any form of silence,

The bad thoughts
can't get in.

? queenie, queenie,
don't drop the ball

? queenie, queenie,
don't drop the ball

? queenie, queenie,
don't drop the ball

? down come baby
cradle and all ?

Ollie: Lulu?

? bills need payin' and
the bank's on the phone ?

Ollie: Lulu?

? dishes need washin' ?

It's nearly night time.

? queenie, queenie ?

Hot damn!

[chanting in hebrew]

Both: Amen.

Oh.

[crickets chirping]

Yum.

It looks good, trust me.

Okay, gas me up,
gas me up.

You're wearing the shit
out of that neck scarf.

Thanks.

I've been so nervous.

Okay, challah, challah.

Ollie: What?

I didn't get any food
of any sort

Except these fucking bickies
which bankrupted me.

Ah, um.

I took the light
out of the fridge

So we wouldn't break shabbos
when we opened it.

You did so good.

Ewww.

I guess you're gonna finally get
a taste of the 40 hour famine.

? ?

- No.
- You have to.

- I'm not taking it.
- In the game, lulu.

No, no, no!

? ?

- Wanna play charades?
- Yeah.

? ?

I really don't know.

? ?

Mr. Burns.

No, think, okay, think.

? ?

Church, the steeple.

The people.

No, it's the
chess piece from--

Both: Philosopher's stone.

Ugh!

I'm so hungry.

Yeah, I could really use
a 40-minute salmon

Right about now.

It must be nearly
bedtime, right?

- 7:37?
- Fuck.

What should we do?

We could have sex.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

I forgot the bedroom lights.

Oh please, let's
just turn them off.

Pushing buttons
is not allowed.

Okay, but the rabbi also said
it was a mitzvah to plow, so.

All right, let's just--let's
just do it with the lights on.

What are we, some
perverted sex perverts?

No.

- Hey-ohhh.
- Oh hoi, hoi.

How goest thou evening?

It's good, it's good,
it's chill.

Actually, no, it's bright
in our room, raymond,

'cause we left the lights on
and it's shabbos.

Ugh, oh shit,
what a nightmare.

Lulu: I know,
oh my god,

I wish they could
turn themselves off.

Or someone could do it
for us, a non-jewish person.

Someone like you.

After all, that's
what we do, right?

We help each other.

Heck yeah,
roomies are the best.

Yeah, I remember--I
remember the one flat

That I could afford
to live in alone

Was actually one place
subdivided into two.

But instead of
dividing it this way,

They subdivided horizontally
and just put another floor in.

So, the whole time
I lived there,

I'm having to walk
around like this.

And it, like, fully--

Raymond, please, can
you turn our lights off?

No.

[music playing]

She is shabbos goying you.

Goodnight, then.

Sleep well, lu.

- Is yours working?
- No, not at all.

- Is yours?
- Not at all.

[stomach rumbling]

Sorry, I thought
about burgerfuel.

- Yum.
- So yum.

? ?

? ?

I feel effed up on drugs.

Nothing I did helped.

I am of no use
to that person.

You can genuinely see
how people kill their kids.

- What the hell--
- did you just say?

That's dark, bec.

- You're gaslighting me.
- You're gaslighting me.

- You're gaslighting me.
- You're gaslighting me.

I think this is the
sleep deprivation talking.

Let's get some zzzs.

Keren: Hello, hello,
hello, my little nowee.

No.

[birds chirping]

Lulu: I can do this.

Eight hours left to go.

Just embrace the peace, man.

Unplug and unwind.

? ?

? queenie, queenie,
don't drop the ball ?

Lulu: If a jewess
breaks shabbat

And there's no one
around to see her--

? ?

Lulu: Hmmm?

Ollie [singing]: Shabbat
shalom to ollie.

Shabbat shalom to lulu.

Shabbat shalom to everyone.

Shabbat shabbat shalom.

Foraged fruit from the
fallen tree next door.

- Yum.
- Kiss me with pride.

? ?

I have maybe four minutes
in me, and that's generous.

What do you want me to do?

Well, you could always
just bring him out here.

There is such a thing
as too much sleep.

Oh, trust me, too much sleep is
certainly not what's happening.

This motherhood expert
that I follow,

Jess this mess, says--

Lord, you don't listen to
those bloody woo-woo people,

Do you?

Are they the same ones telling
you not to put 'em in socks?

Yeah, all the grannies say

These online gurus
are the ultimate cons,

Trying to sell their blankets.

Also, we'd be happy to shout
your cleaner once a week

Just to, you know,
keep this place livable.

Bec: Oh, we have one.

They came yesterday.

Keren: Oh my god!

What is this dreck?

- Is this from bridget?
- Siggy: Keren.

I hope you weren't
planning to hang this up

So that it could
fall on his windpipe

And strangle him in the night,
do you want that?

No, I will dispose of it.

Hey, guys, next time
you're thinking of coming,

Can you just tell me
so we can let you know

Exactly when he'll be up?

No, it's fine.

You know, we just like
being with you guys.

We'll wait however long
until he's awake.

[playground chatter]

Ollie: Today's been fun.

I love shabbos.

Sometimes it's good
to slow down

And have a chill, quiet--

No.

Lulu: Sorry.

It's just, you know,
growing up,

Shabbos was oppressive.

I basically had to
dislodge my dad's arm

Trying to get him
to leave shul.

And then the house
was so dark and quiet

And I was starving all day.

I think for you, it's
like a cool new experience.

But for me, today was
kind of giving ptsd vibes.

Not just today,
actually, ollie.

I think maybe I'm having some
trouble adjusting to life

After birth.

I get that.

Really?

Ollie: Growing up
is horrible.

You know, all they
teach you in school

Is the definition of osmosis.

Then suddenly, you're expected
to know about taxes

And how to change a tire.

You have to pretend
to like sparkly water.

Ollie, are you talking about
life after your own birth?

- Yeah.
- ? ?

Cool.

Me too, same.

? ?

He went up to the monkey
to shake its hand,

The monkey went like that.

What the hell?

You just pressed the button?

- Yeah.
- [beeping]

Damn it!

? ?

? ?

Whoa, keren.

You're absolutely not
wearing that to lulu's wedding.

No, I know that.

I'm just checking if it fits,
which it does perfectly.

And don't even fucking
think about saying it doesn't.

I'll offer it to her.

Siggy: I don't wanna
get bogged down in details,

But are they actually engaged?

Well, they're getting
married.

- Are they?
- Yeah.

Then I think I should offer
mum's ring to ollie

So he can make it official.

Keren: I think you
should do that.

You know, siggy,
I've thought about it

And I don't want
to give this away.

Siggy: Then don't.

But you can't wear it.

But it's not even
that wedding-y.

Siggy: Keren.

Keren: Siggy.

Siggy.

? oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ?

Ollie, listen,
we slept like shit,

We're starving.

You had one slip-up,
but, like,

We made it
this far, right?

A one-time offer
from your shabbos goy.

Raymond: Hello, my
name is raymond.

Thank you so much.

Raymond: And this is my
audition for branch face.

My pleasure.

Raymond: "put up your leaves.

Kill anyone that dares
threaten the forest."

That's actually really good.

He could land that.

Raymond: Guys, I'm filming.

You have to be quiet!

[baby crying]

What if noah just
needs his mom?

Oh, please, take him.

No, his birth mom.

Bec, you are his mum.

Lulu traded him in
for a car, didn't she?

Plus, the baby doesn't
know anything, okay?

The other day, I covered my eyes
and he thought I disappeared.

You remember what--what
ollie's mum said,

That you're a?

- Absolute natural.
- Mm-hmm.

With that magic hold
thing that she did?

[baby cooing]

We can.

[reading in hebrew]

Hold this, and you just
pour the wine over it

To put it out.

Be brave, king.

? ?

- Shavua tov.
- Shavua tov.

- One day.
- Nice.

[baby crying]

Well, let's see
our little noah.

[baby crying]

? ?

? queenie, queenie,
don't drop the ball

? queenie, queenie,
don't drop the ball ?

I was but a sapling,
and the x-men came

And murdered my parents.

And that's when I
swore vengeance.

That's when I became
branch face.

The trees are under attack.

Put up your leaves.

Did a bird just poop on me?

Guys, I'm filming.

You have to be quiet.

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