Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:17,392
.
2
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:17,767
- Nothing?
3
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,980
- * It's true *
4
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:26,067
* The marriage that we once
had now is through *
5
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:30,321
* And now we're doing
all that we can do *
6
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:34,701
* To keep us all together
as a crew *
7
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:38,496
* Just do as we say,
not as we do *
8
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:42,500
* We really thought
that we were done *
9
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:45,128
* But we've just begun *
10
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,214
- Has anybody heard
from your mother?
11
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:49,174
- Nope.
- I've not.
12
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,675
- Hmm.
13
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:51,718
I gotta get to the
Sons of Liberty reenactment.
14
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,136
I can't be late.
15
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:56,639
As you may have deduced,
the redcoats are coming.
16
00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:59,100
- Something tells me
it'll all be OK.
17
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:02,228
- If Paul Revere doesn't ride,
the entire course of history
18
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:03,688
could be changed.
19
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,607
By breakfast, we could all
be subjects of the king.
20
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,610
- I'll take my chances.
21
00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,904
- Um, what did you do
with my whale oil lantern?
22
00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:12,030
- Oh, sorry.
23
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,239
It's recharging in the hallway.
24
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,951
- Seriously, how do I look?
25
00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:18,661
- Devastating.
26
00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:21,956
Betsy Ross is going to go
all wobbly in her petticoats.
27
00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:23,500
- She isn't Betsy Ross yet.
28
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,919
She's still Betsy Griscom,
single and available.
29
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,587
And last week
at rehearsal, I couldn't tell
30
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,464
if she was flirting
with me or Ben Franklin.
31
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,092
- Just ask her for her number.
32
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:35,178
- Yes, as
they would have in 1775.
33
00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:38,264
Oh, I know what this is.
34
00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:39,599
You're upset that I'm dating.
35
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:42,519
- Dad, I'm thrilled
that you're trying to date.
36
00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:44,938
- Good.
37
00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:46,356
I'm glad.
38
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:48,525
- I might have suggested
a clever online profile
39
00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:51,319
or an appealing photo
or two, but whatever.
40
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,822
If you're more comfortable
with cosplay, God bless.
41
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:56,574
- Thanks.
42
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,451
Your opinion means a lot to me.
43
00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:01,121
- Truth is, dating gets
harder the older you get.
44
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,080
- Oh, it's never easy.
45
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,623
Trust me.
46
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:06,710
- I do not want to know
why you just said that.
47
00:02:06,751 --> 00:02:08,461
- All right, Dad,
I turned off the Bluetooth
48
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,672
on your whale-oil lantern
so it doesn't start
49
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:11,798
playing Lil Nas X.
50
00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,135
- See?
You get it.
51
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:18,304
Verisimilitude is the backbone
of historical fiction.
52
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:20,890
My DNA is strong with this one.
53
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,893
- Great news.
54
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,645
- Well,
I'm going to grab my musket,
55
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:29,441
and then it's time to throw
off the yoke of tyranny.
56
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,151
Taxation without
representation?
57
00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:32,944
I don't think so.
58
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,572
Can I rely on you to man
the fort, General Washington?
59
00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:36,614
- Man it?
60
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:37,490
No.
61
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:38,783
But I can woman it.
62
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:39,826
- Even better.
63
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,703
Woman it, then, please.
64
00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:48,626
- [laughs]
65
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,503
I'm not even going to ask.
66
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,341
I am looking at you...
67
00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:58,511
[laughing]
68
00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:04,225
Telling myself "I can get
through this" without asking.
69
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,227
It's not going to be easy.
70
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:09,689
- Finished?
71
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:13,276
- Hold on.
72
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,528
OK.
73
00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,364
- Where's Julia?
- Oh, she had a work emergency.
74
00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:18,406
- What kind of work emergency?
75
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:19,616
- She didn't say,
and I didn't ask.
76
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:20,658
- Why not?
77
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,078
- Because she texted,
"Don't ask."
78
00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:25,413
- Your marriage
just might work.
79
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,998
But listen,
I gotta head out, 'cause--
80
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,375
- No, no, no, no, no.
81
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:30,126
Don't tell me.
82
00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:34,756
'Cause whatever it is, it won't
be as good as my imagination.
83
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,341
- Hey, Trey.
- Hey, Gracie.
84
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,717
What's up?
85
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,052
- Dad, can I have a sleepover?
- Ooh.
86
00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:40,095
I'm off duty.
87
00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:41,638
That's up to your mom.
88
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:42,931
- Oh, I texted her,
but her "do not disturb" is on.
89
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,391
- That's OK.
90
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:45,850
Your mom's entrusted
full responsibility
91
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,560
until she arrives to me.
92
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:51,648
So as your future stepdad,
I say, commence the sleepover.
93
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:52,691
- Yay!
94
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,234
Thank you, Trey.
95
00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:57,112
- Sleepovers are the best.
96
00:03:57,153 --> 00:04:00,740
- Bold move agreeing to
a sleepover without any data.
97
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,784
You don't know
how many kids are coming.
98
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,077
You don't know what parents--
99
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,120
- Uh, Grace, I need some data.
100
00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:06,871
How many kids are coming?
101
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,540
- Just Katie.
102
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:09,916
The Katie I brought to your
suite at the Lakers game.
103
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,001
- Oh, I love that Katie.
104
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,711
Do you know that Katie, Jim?
- I do.
105
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,421
She's Grace's best friend
since kindergarten.
106
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:17,507
I've met her,
conservatively, 9,000 times.
107
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:23,263
- Hey, Paul, don't you have
a midnight ride to get to?
108
00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:24,264
- Oh, my god!
109
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:26,099
Paul Revere!
110
00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:28,268
[laughs]
111
00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:29,769
Thank God.
112
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,354
I was about to ask
for some Crunch Berries.
113
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,356
[laughs]
114
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:37,277
Aye, aye, Captain.
115
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:40,655
[upbeat music]
116
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,532
- Mr. Kearney,
should be feeling the sedative
117
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:43,950
take effect in a few minutes.
118
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:46,244
Just lie back and relax.
119
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,788
- Julia, this is an incredibly
nice thing you're doing
120
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:49,998
for your former father-in-law.
121
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,332
- Oh.
122
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:52,751
I may be divorced
from your son,
123
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,586
but you'll be my kids'
grandpa for life,
124
00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:58,089
helping them, spoiling them,
losing them in a crowd.
125
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:04,679
- Hampton Beach
is a very complicated beach.
126
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:07,766
You know, thanks for keeping
it a secret from Jim.
127
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:11,019
If he ever heard I had a kidney
stone, he'd be worried sick.
128
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,520
- He loves you very much.
129
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,980
- I blame myself.
130
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:16,232
Once when he was a kid,
I pretended I was dead
131
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:19,235
for the entire afternoon.
132
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:23,114
Best nap I ever had.
133
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,408
- Drug's kicking in, Bobby?
134
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:26,951
- Oh, yeah.
135
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,162
I can't believe
I ever judged junkies.
136
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,831
They're on to something.
137
00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:35,752
.
138
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:36,544
- [laughing]
- Okey dokey.
139
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,047
I hope Julia's emergency
is short-lived.
140
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,966
Oh, and I've gotta hit the,
uh, little patriots room.
141
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,009
Then I will be on my way.
142
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,094
But you got this.
143
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:45,095
- OK.
144
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:46,221
[doorbell rings]
145
00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:49,140
Ooh.
146
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,184
[exhales]
147
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:52,394
Hey, Katie.
What's up?
148
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:53,895
- Hi.
- Trey Taylor, remember?
149
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:54,979
- [chuckles]
150
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,147
Is Grace here?
151
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,607
- Hey, Katie.
How's it--
152
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,025
- Hi, Mr. Kearney.
153
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,110
- Katie?
- [sobbing]
154
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,153
- What did you guys say to her?
155
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,072
both: Nothing.
156
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,449
- Derek just dumped me.
157
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:07,492
- OK.
158
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,285
OK, let's go to the kitchen.
159
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:13,456
- [wailing]
160
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,917
- Sleepovers are the best.
161
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,878
[upbeat music]
162
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,839
* *
163
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,382
- Feeling any
better now, Robert?
164
00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:23,883
- Flying high, Doc.
165
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:26,511
- So to view the kidney
stones, we will insert
166
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,097
a camera into your urethra.
167
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,807
- Perfect.
168
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,684
- In my 40 years,
this is the first time
169
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,436
I have gotten that reaction.
170
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,315
- Camera in my urethra.
171
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:40,567
Simple in and out.
172
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:43,028
Lickety-split.
173
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:46,197
- Bobby, do you know
what the urethra is?
174
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,533
- I don't.
175
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,828
But the doctor was wearing
a Rolex, so he must.
176
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,540
- The urethra is the tube
that runs from your bladder
177
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,793
to the tip of your...device.
178
00:06:58,835 --> 00:06:59,669
- Device?
179
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:02,380
What, like my iPhone?
180
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,342
- No, the tip of your--
your unit.
181
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,718
- Unit?
182
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,428
- Your device,
your unit, your member?
183
00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:09,512
- I'm sorry.
184
00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:10,972
I was never good at "Pyramid."
185
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:13,850
- Your penis?
186
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,018
- My penis?
187
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,187
What the hell's
he doing down there?
188
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,814
It's a kidney stone,
not a penis stone.
189
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:23,443
Tell that butcher he's gotta
find another way in!
190
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:24,569
- They're all set for you.
191
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:27,655
- You guys are barbarians!
192
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,157
- We may need a minute.
193
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:32,369
[upbeat music]
194
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,037
- Hey-hey, Revere.
195
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:36,081
Where's your outfit?
196
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,248
- I texted my understudy.
197
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,291
He's going to go on.
198
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,001
But it's gonna be a disaster.
199
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:42,545
He knows nothing about
being a silversmith.
200
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:45,757
Or the needs
of a woman like Betsy Ross.
201
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,425
But I cannot leave you alone.
202
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,468
- What are you talking about?
203
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:49,719
I can handle a sleepover.
204
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,888
You yourself said I got this.
205
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:53,264
Me got this.
206
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,599
- I said you got that.
207
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,684
Now there's
a crying girl involved.
208
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,185
You do not got this.
209
00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:58,561
- So you got this?
210
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,271
- I got this
more than you got this.
211
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,314
- Show me what you got.
212
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:02,857
What are you going to do?
213
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,235
- Nothing.
214
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,153
- Yeah, I'm pretty sure
I could've done nothing.
215
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,655
- Mm.
216
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:10,615
But could you do nothing
in a strategic manner?
217
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,283
These are young adult women--
218
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,952
people.
219
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:17,288
So we're going to let them
work it out while we monitor.
220
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,873
- We're going to spy on them?
221
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:22,752
- I prefer the term
"compassionate surveillance."
222
00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,504
- I look terrible.
223
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,297
- No, you look so beautiful.
224
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,674
- No, I'm hideous.
225
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:28,800
- It's not true.
226
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,552
You are such a pretty crier.
227
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:33,722
- Thank you.
228
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,473
- And Derek doesn't
know what he's doing.
229
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,975
- He does.
230
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:40,353
His last text was,
"I know what I'm doing."
231
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,272
Why are boys so stupid?
232
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:45,025
- The universe made them
that way to train us.
233
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:46,943
- It did?
234
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:48,278
- Yes.
235
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,989
It's trying to build our
resilience by preparing us
236
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,074
for all the dumb stuff
that men are going to do
237
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,826
when we get older.
238
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,620
- Oh, my god, she's right.
239
00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,330
- You gotta help me
win him back, Grace.
240
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,665
- No.
241
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:01,583
That will only
make you look weak.
242
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,251
- But I am weak.
243
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:04,294
- That's not true.
244
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,503
You're stronger than him.
245
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,422
- If I'm strong,
why am I crying?
246
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,424
- Because strong
people have to cry.
247
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:11,718
Because cr--crying is brave.
248
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,595
- Since when?
249
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,138
- Since always,
but no one's ever told us.
250
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,432
So I'm telling you
that you are very
251
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:18,683
strong to show your emotions.
252
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,727
- Hmm.
I need to lay down.
253
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:27,192
- Uh, I believe these are
indigenous to South America.
254
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,610
- Really?
255
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:31,571
I don't know
what you're talking about.
256
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:36,910
- OK, if we're going to surveil
together, you better get wise.
257
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:39,412
If and when our cover
is blown, whatever I say,
258
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:40,538
you have to go along with.
259
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,833
The rule is "yes, and."
260
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,543
You can't say,
"Uh, I have no idea
261
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,711
what you're talking about."
262
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,546
That's how people get killed.
263
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,757
- Got it. Learning as I go.
264
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,385
[door rattling]
265
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,720
What the hell is that?
It looks like a boy.
266
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:56,971
- Did you put him out there?
267
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,808
- Did I put a boy
on a balcony?
268
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,226
What kind of question is that?
269
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,770
I've been standing
right here next to you.
270
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,231
- Hi, Mr. Kearney.
271
00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:12,070
.
272
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:12,987
- Um, Derek,
this is Trey Taylor.
273
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:14,823
- Of course.
274
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,199
Hello, Mr. Taylor.
275
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,283
Go, Celts.
276
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:18,368
- Thank you.
277
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:21,246
Always nice to meet a fan.
278
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,707
- Easy, Sinatra.
279
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,166
How did you get up here?
280
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,043
- I took the elevator
to the roof of the building
281
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:28,503
next door.
282
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,296
Then I parkoured from the
roof over there to your roof.
283
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:33,591
Then I came down the fire
escape to your apartment.
284
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:37,053
- When you say you parkoured--
285
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,221
- I vaulted.
286
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:40,098
- You vaulted?
287
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,058
- No Ring cameras
out there, Jim?
288
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,768
- No, Trey, there's
no Ring cameras out there.
289
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,186
This is the first time
Spider-Man
290
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:47,564
has paid us a visit.
291
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:48,982
- Is Grace home?
292
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,150
- Oh.
293
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,027
Is that all you
wanted to find out?
294
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,695
Seems like an answer you could
have got without free-soloing
295
00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,822
down our building.
296
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,533
- I can't text her,
because I skipped out on
297
00:10:58,575 --> 00:10:59,784
my National Honor Society
meeting
298
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,578
and left my phone
in the bushes,
299
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,788
so if my parents
look me up on Life360,
300
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,165
they'll still think
I'm at the school.
301
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,207
- Mm.
302
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,043
Well,
thank you for being honest
303
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,961
about your dishonesty, Derek.
304
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,213
- Derek, what--
what are you doing here?
305
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,049
- Grace, can I talk
to you in private?
306
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,133
- Why?
307
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,426
So I won't tell
Katie that you're
308
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:17,552
a careless, mean, stupid boy?
309
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:18,887
Too late.
310
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,388
- I didn't say
or do anything mean.
311
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,098
I tried to just be honest
about what I felt.
312
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,309
- Honesty.
Yeah, that's always the excuse.
313
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,521
Do I really gotta talk to you
about this
314
00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:30,315
in front of your dad
and the owner of the Celtics?
315
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:36,738
- Yes, actually.
- Bet your little tushy.
316
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:39,991
- Dad, Trey, could you--could
you give us a moment, please?
317
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,326
- Oh.
- Yeah, sure.
318
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,827
- Yeah, it's, uh--
it's important to respect,
319
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,162
uh, your space.
320
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:47,624
- Give the privacy
that you deserve.
321
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,834
- Derek, what is going on?
322
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:53,338
- I broke up with Katie,
because I'm in love with you.
323
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,298
- Wait.
What?
324
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,800
- I broke up with Katie,
because I'm--
325
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,802
- No, don't say it again.
326
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,261
- I've felt this way
since the fifth grade,
327
00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:04,057
and I've never had the guts
to say it till now.
328
00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:06,685
Thanks for hearing me say it.
329
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,687
I need to go
before I get grounded.
330
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:19,572
- Uh, right here.
331
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:20,907
See?
332
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,827
Um, it says
"refrigerate after opening."
333
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,704
- Yes, and?
334
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,458
Wh-wh-what else does it say,
Jim?
335
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:37,465
- "Use by October 12th."
336
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,217
- Trey, could you
get Jimmy to distract Katie
337
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,343
for a few minutes?
338
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:41,553
- Absolutely.
339
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,263
You got this.
340
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:46,224
[upbeat music]
341
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,226
* *
342
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,602
- Bobby?
Open up.
343
00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:52,939
- I won't! I won't! I won't!
344
00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:55,483
- If your dad thinks
urethral entry is scary now,
345
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:58,069
wait till the drugs wear off.
346
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:01,698
- Uh, he does think it's
scary, and he's not my dad.
347
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:05,285
And I can think of many
other places I'd rather be.
348
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:09,164
Thousands and thousands
and millions of other sentences
349
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,666
I'd rather be speaking than,
"Your dink is not in danger!"
350
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,961
[upbeat music]
351
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,963
- Dad, I need your advice.
352
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:19,424
Derek has been, like,
the coolest guy ever
353
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,675
since seventh grade.
354
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,510
Every girl in school
has had a crush on him.
355
00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:25,722
He's good at baseball,
basketball, soccer.
356
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,098
He's smart.
357
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,600
- Eh...
358
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,101
- Well--
and here's the problem.
359
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:33,396
He said he likes me,
and that's why he came here.
360
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:37,901
And my head is spinning, 'cause
the most popular guy in Boston
361
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,402
just said he likes me.
362
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:40,695
- Mm.
363
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,197
Tom Brady is kind of popular.
364
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:45,158
- Dad.
365
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,911
- And you think
you might like Derek back?
366
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:49,579
- Well, you've met him.
367
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:52,290
Wouldn't you?
368
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,792
- Huh.
369
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:54,834
Huh.
370
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,252
Hmm.
371
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,754
Isn't this a nice night
for your mother
372
00:13:57,796 --> 00:14:00,674
to have a work emergency?
373
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:08,431
.
374
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:09,099
- You know what, Bobby?
375
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,393
I regret coming here.
376
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:12,769
- Why?
377
00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:14,604
- Because you
obviously don't really
378
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:15,855
think that highly of me.
379
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,565
- Of course I do.
380
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,901
- No, you don't, because if
you did, you'd take my counsel.
381
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,486
- My dad's stubborn like yours.
382
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:24,155
- He's not my dad.
383
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,324
I help people in crisis, Bobby.
384
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,410
People pay me
to help them when they
385
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:29,744
are not thinking straight,
as you
386
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,162
are not thinking straight now.
387
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,457
And while I don't want and
would never accept a penny
388
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:36,459
from you, I would
appreciate the courtesy
389
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:37,794
of you considering
what I have to say,
390
00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,129
because I'm about to snap.
391
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:44,175
I promise you, they do far
worse things every year
392
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:47,345
at the OB/GYN, and you don't
hear a word of complaint.
393
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,389
You wouldn't last
10 minutes as a woman.
394
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:52,434
None of you would.
395
00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:55,478
So I want you
to open that door,
396
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:59,315
suck it up, and spread
your urethra to the sunshine.
397
00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,112
- Well,
when you put it like that--
398
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:09,451
- Gracie, we're kind of
crossing the Rubicon here,
399
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:11,453
aren't we?
400
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,455
- I don't understand.
401
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:14,622
- Um, Caesar.
402
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:15,999
Uh, Julius Caesar.
403
00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:19,085
There was a river,
and once he crossed it--
404
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:22,380
look, all right, this whole
teenage romance thing
405
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,923
is not usually my area
of expertise.
406
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:25,925
- Mine, either.
407
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:28,136
- OK, but if I were
to take a stab at it,
408
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:30,930
um, I think one thing
I would say is that, um--
409
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,474
one thing you should
be aware of, uh,
410
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:37,979
is that deep down, uh,
all of us are awful people.
411
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:39,397
- Dad.
- No, no, no.
412
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,024
Seriously,
I've been working my way
413
00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:42,734
through this observation
ever since I was--
414
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:43,818
well, ever since
I was your age.
415
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:47,238
Um, people are--are awful.
416
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,740
Awful.
417
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,659
I think that's why
someone a long, long time ago,
418
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:54,704
uh, came up with the whole
concept of what we call values
419
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,749
to make us think deeply
about the consequences
420
00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:00,669
of our being awful.
421
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:04,339
Values ask us to pause, uh,
before taking a flamethrower
422
00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:07,550
to our happiness, to not do
selfish, impulsive things,
423
00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:09,511
even though selfish,
impulsive choices
424
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,012
sometimes feel fantastic.
425
00:16:11,054 --> 00:16:12,222
- They really do.
- Yes.
426
00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:13,807
I know.
I know.
427
00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:15,266
Whenever I get
the urge to do something
428
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,310
selfish and impulsive,
I get all tingly inside.
429
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:19,604
I--I feel incredibly alive.
430
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,482
And for whatever reasons--
none that make any sense--
431
00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:24,818
we're made to--
to feel these drives
432
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:27,195
and emotions
and feelings that do not
433
00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:30,448
serve us in any way other
than to mess up our lives.
434
00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:34,744
- I hate how we're made.
435
00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:36,788
- And it's not all the time,
436
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,540
but right now,
uh, what happened
437
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:42,127
with Derek, an emotional,
impulsive, selfish boy--
438
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:45,505
- He's so special.
439
00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:50,218
- Uh, Grace, I was
eavesdropping on your talk
440
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:51,720
with Katie.
- Dad, no.
441
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:52,721
That's so uncool.
442
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:53,763
Why would you do that?
443
00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:56,057
- Because I'm awful.
444
00:16:56,099 --> 00:17:00,103
I do foolish,
ill-advised, impulsive things,
445
00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:02,480
even though at my age,
I should know better.
446
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,607
When my conscience tells me,
"Hey, hey, Jim,
447
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:07,027
don't do that,"
sometimes I actually say,
448
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,237
"Hey, why don't you take a load
off there, Mr. Conscience?
449
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:12,490
Tonight I'm ride or die
with Captain Id."
450
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:16,161
And I regret it
almost every single time.
451
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,663
But--but be that as it may,
452
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:22,375
I was so proud of what
you told Katie to console her.
453
00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:25,128
It just--
it came out of you in seconds,
454
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:27,630
because it's who you are,
455
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,591
a good friend, a good person
456
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:33,428
who now finds herself
possibly smitten
457
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:36,264
with a boy
who dumped her friend
458
00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:38,266
and who lies
to his parents
459
00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:41,186
and who Cirque du Soleil'd
his way onto our balcony
460
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:44,105
just to talk to you.
461
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:48,526
What would you call
behavior like that?
462
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:49,527
- I don't know.
463
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,863
You tell me, Dad.
464
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:55,325
- Maybe it's just the act of
someone who hasn't necessarily
465
00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:58,036
thought everything through,
466
00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:00,789
like you might
want to right now.
467
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:01,831
- [sighs]
468
00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:03,541
I'm so messed up.
469
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,336
- Uh, pivotal moments always
seem to pop up unannounced,
470
00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:09,339
like a zit on the morning
of your prom.
471
00:18:09,381 --> 00:18:12,425
You look in the mirror,
and you're like, "Oh, come on."
472
00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:16,638
You're at a crossroad.
473
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,139
Or is it "crossroads"?
474
00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:19,516
- It's "crossroads."
- Yeah.
475
00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:20,350
- Plural.
476
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:21,768
- Two roads crossing.
477
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:24,437
You can only take one.
478
00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:26,981
I'm going to text Derek and
tell him I'm not interested.
479
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,608
- Mm, good choice.
480
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:32,070
Uh, only problem is,
he does not have his phone.
481
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:34,656
His phone is in a bush
by the school.
482
00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:37,450
- Oh, so his parents can't
track him on Life360?
483
00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:38,326
Smart.
484
00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:41,454
I've done that move.
485
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:43,248
- What?
486
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,125
- I'm an awful,
selfish, impulsive person
487
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,710
sometimes too.
488
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:49,713
- You get that from me.
489
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,464
- Should I send it now?
490
00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:55,385
- Maybe reread whatever you
wrote a couple of times and--
491
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:03,643
- He can read it when
he gets back to the bush.
492
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:06,688
Oh, and I love you.
493
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,857
Beyond love.
494
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,817
- I love you too.
495
00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:20,452
- [whispers]
Hey, you did got this.
496
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:26,666
[upbeat music]
497
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,211
- Ohh.
498
00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:35,675
- How you feeling, Bobby?
499
00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:37,635
- Stones out?
500
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,596
[stones clattering]
501
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,264
Criminy Dutch!
502
00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:42,974
I had all these stones
inside me?
503
00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:44,059
- Mm-hmm.
504
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,518
- I'm like a freaking quarry.
505
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:49,230
Y--you're not going to tell
anyone about this, right?
506
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:50,815
- No, because if I do,
507
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,650
they'd know that I lied
about where I've been.
508
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:55,320
- And the kids will know their
grandfather's not the force
509
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,489
of nature they think I am.
510
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,908
But luckily, their mom is.
511
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,576
- When I have to be.
512
00:20:01,618 --> 00:20:05,747
- Any time you need me to go
with you to the OB/GYN thing,
513
00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:07,332
just say the word.
514
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:08,750
- I will never say that word.
515
00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:11,461
- Sorry I was such a baby.
516
00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:13,213
- Ah,
you were worse than a baby.
517
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,965
You were a cowardly,
candy-ass infant.
518
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:19,344
- Congratulations, Mr. Kearney.
519
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:22,597
Your urinary tract
is as clear as a bell.
520
00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:26,643
Just try not to ring it
for a couple of days.
521
00:20:26,685 --> 00:20:27,727
- Gotcha.
522
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:28,937
So no "Golden Girls"?
523
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:32,816
- That's correct.
524
00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:34,317
And sign this.
525
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:36,403
And as much as we are
all going to miss him,
526
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,113
your dad will be good to go.
527
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:40,323
- He's not--
528
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:45,286
Yes, of course.
529
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:48,998
[upbeat music]
530
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,458
You know what?
531
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:51,751
Uh, why don't you count to 50,
then come in?
532
00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:53,169
Otherwise,
it'll look too suspicious.
533
00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:54,170
- Got it.
534
00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:56,214
- OK.
535
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:57,298
- Hey, hon.
- Hi, Mom.
536
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:59,426
- Hey.
- Hey, guys.
537
00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:02,470
- So what'd
everyone do tonight?
538
00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:05,140
- I had a sleepover with Katie.
539
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:06,474
- Does Katie know?
540
00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:07,600
- She crashed early.
541
00:21:07,642 --> 00:21:08,768
Long story.
542
00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:11,730
both: Sleepovers are the best.
- [laughs]
543
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,606
Everything OK
with your work emergency?
544
00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:15,900
- Yeah.
- It was good she was there.
545
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:18,111
I mean, it's always good
when she's anywhere.
546
00:21:18,153 --> 00:21:20,613
[chuckles]
547
00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,490
- Help us pick a show to watch.
- OK.
548
00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:25,035
- Anything but "Golden Girls."
549
00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,745
[upbeat music]
550
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:28,747
Oh, boy.
- OK.
35856
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.