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MUSIC: Buddy
by De La Soul
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00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:09,000
Uh. Uh. Uh.
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00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,200
Hah!
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00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:11,960
And...back to me.
5
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,200
Huh!
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00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,320
Oof! Aah.
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SCHOOL BELL RINGS
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THEY PANT
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HOBURN'S VOICE:
Slow down! Stop running!
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00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,240
Oi! You heard her.
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00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:30,840
Eugh.
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Good girl.
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00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,440
Hello, Mother.
14
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,160
WHISPERS: Ssh! Do not call me that!
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00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:38,840
Come here, Chloreen.
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00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:41,920
You mean I have your permission
to call you Mummy?
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God, no!
I don't want anyone to know that I've employed someone
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00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:47,480
who's passed through
my reproductive tract.
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00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:50,640
They'll think I'm siphoning off
school funds to pay for my family.
20
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:52,440
I was so happy
when you unblocked me.
21
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:53,840
It's a dream come true.
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00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,760
I've always wanted to be
an art teacher.
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00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,200
SHE SIGHS
That was always your fatal flaw.
24
00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:02,200
I fired our last art teacher because
he asked me what star sign I was.
25
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,400
WHISPERS: Gemini.
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00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,760
You can't have that kind of man
around kids.
27
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:09,920
But it freed up cash
for me to splurge on my Ho-Dolls.
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00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:11,200
HOBURN'S VOICE: I am the law.
29
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:14,800
Sadly, the PTA is riddled
with cranks and socialists,
30
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,840
and they want art
back on the syllabus.
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00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,520
And, to be frank, you were cheap.
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00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:20,600
Well, I'm grateful
that my teachers equipped me
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00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,080
with the creative tools
to process my trauma.
34
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,520
Oh, not this again, Chloreen!
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00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:28,200
How could I have caused you trauma?
I barely even saw you.
36
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:29,880
Yes, I was at boarding school
aged six.
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Look, I admit I got that one wrong.
38
00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,440
I sent you away far, far too late.
39
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,240
But I did save you from that cult.
40
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:37,280
It was an improv group.
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00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:37,280
SHE SIGHS
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00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,520
SHE TUTS
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00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,520
Even worse. Yes, and...
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00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,960
Look, a member of staff
has just told me
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00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,840
there could be asbestos
in the school walls.
46
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:47,320
Now, if Fraser is right, the parents
will have me over a barrel.
47
00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:54,000
So, for now, please keep
our relationship unseen and unheard.
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00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:56,800
Oh...
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00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,080
Excellent.
50
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,760
Pu-ssio!
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00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:44,880
Ah... Cut!
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00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:44,880
LAUGHTER
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00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,600
We're meant to be
breaking the internet.
54
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,480
But right now, all that's breaking
is my will to live.
55
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,160
If I'm going to get
these brand deals,
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00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,640
I need at least 10K followers.
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00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,880
Only 9,990 to go.
58
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,040
Ugh, says the Degrassi Drake.
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00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,400
Brands are begging you to stop
wearing their clothes.
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00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,280
Nike's like, "Just don't."
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00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:03,640
According to my research,
the best ways to make a video
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00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:06,400
go viral are by filming
something funny...
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00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,600
Mm-hm-hm-hm-hm.
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00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:09,640
BOTH: Next.
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00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:12,120
..something sexy...
AMERICAN ACCENT: Hey, come on, now.
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00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:13,320
BOTH: Next.
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00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,480
..or filming something scary.
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00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,560
I can help with that!
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00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,560
HE SCREAMS
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00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,360
Sir, why are dressed
like the Bride of Frankincense?
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00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,240
Because it's about time we start
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00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,360
taking the great works
of theatre seriously.
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00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:28,320
Hmm? That's why I give you...
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00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:30,640
..The Woman In Black.
75
00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:33,000
Oh, my God, are we going to study
an actual play?
76
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,680
Huh?! No!
I sent you the link to the movie.
77
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:39,080
Inchez didn't watch it.
He was too much of a PUSSIO.
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00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,440
Look, galdem in a dress don't
scare me, yeah?
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00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,280
SHE BLOWS
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00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,280
Aghhhh! Oh, man.
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00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,800
WHIRRING
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00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,800
Ooh!
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00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,600
Scusies! What IS that?
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00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,960
Ooh! They better be putting up
my blue plaque.
85
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,080
I'm afraid not, sir.
They misspelled "triple" -
86
00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:57,640
AND "threat".
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00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:00,160
HE SIGHS
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00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:00,160
Warren, details!
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00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,320
I can't read!
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00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,120
MACHINERY WHIRS
Oi! You're having a laugh, ain't ya?
91
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,160
Oi!
92
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:11,400
Oh. How the hell is a hardworking
teacher meant to get any kip
93
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,400
with that racket?! What?
94
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,760
What are they doing?!
95
00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,200
SHOUTS: Keep it to yourself,
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00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,400
but the walls may or may not...
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WHIRRING STOPS
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00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:20,280
..contain asbestos!
99
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,240
BUILDER: Asbestos?
Right, well, I don't think
100
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,360
you're meant to drill asbestos,
love. Well, they know that, LOVE.
101
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:27,240
Fraser's attempting
to banter with them,
102
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,840
but they just keep drowning him out.
103
00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:32,280
I've got to say, lads,
it is so refreshing to see you
104
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:36,560
actually working,
even at a snail's pace,
105
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:40,280
rather than intimidating
and harassing teenage girls
106
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,440
from your van.
107
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:45,320
Fancy a cup of tea?
I can't hear myself think!
108
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:46,840
Any sugar?
109
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:50,360
Don't worry. I understand.
110
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,000
BUILDER: Oh, cheers.
111
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,880
WHIRRING STOPS
112
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,880
Oh, thank goodness for that.
113
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,880
I'm glad you're both here.
114
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,280
The builders have found something
in the walls.
115
00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:02,320
Can you explain this?
116
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:03,960
BOTH: The time capsule!
117
00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:09,000
Ooh, um, we made it -
with Mr Wickers.
118
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,720
We all just put something
important-ish in there.
119
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:15,520
Yeah, but it weren't meant to be
opened for, like, another 50 years.
120
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,640
Oh, well. No time like the present.
121
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,560
No! No! No!
122
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:22,640
You gentlemen wouldn't have any
particular reason to keep it shut?
123
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:24,440
I don't. Do you? No, no, no, no.
124
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,720
No, no, no, I don't mind.
No, I'm no bothered. No.
125
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,080
I mean, open it, but don't.
126
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,000
Oh, well, let's leave it, then.
127
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,080
Until tomorrow's assembly.
128
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:36,080
Give it the unveiling
it truly deserves.
129
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,960
Yeah, whatever.
130
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,960
STEPHEN CHUCKLES
131
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,960
The past... Agh!
..contains many secrets,
132
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:46,840
but some secrets refuse
to stay buried.
133
00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,040
OK...
134
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:50,640
BOTH: Agh!
135
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:54,560
STAMMERING:
Sorry, my love, are you new here?
136
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:58,280
Yes, although my flesh and blood
have walked these halls before.
137
00:05:58,280 --> 00:05:59,360
Hmm.
138
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,840
Agh! Oh! Bloody hell!
139
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,160
She's the new art teacher.
140
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,440
Right, well that explains
why she's talking bollocks.
141
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:10,000
SHE CHUCKLES
142
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:10,000
I'm Fraser. I love art.
143
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,440
Who's your favourite artist?
144
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,480
Turner. Simply the best.
145
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,680
HE SCOFFS
146
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,680
She means the painter.
147
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,280
ALL: Ugh!
148
00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:19,040
Spooky. Oops!
149
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,720
Erm... I'm done here.
Yeah, no... See you later.
150
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,760
I've got loads of stuff
to be getting on with.
151
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,640
Where, oh, where did she go?
152
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,800
HE SNIFFS
153
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,600
HO-DOLL: Get back to work!
154
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,840
FIRE ALARM CHIMES
155
00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:40,840
PANICKED CHATTER
156
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,880
I'm putting together a crew
for a little score tonight.
157
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,680
Are you in? What's the...?
Are you in or out?
158
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,520
You need to tell me
cos I can't see ya.
159
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,080
GIRL GASPS
Come with me if you want to live!
160
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,520
Actually, I'll just take
Usma, Warren and Jinx. Thank you.
161
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:04,560
Today!
162
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,160
So, you put something
in the time capsule,
163
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:10,840
but Mr Carmichael
ain't going to like it?
164
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,640
Mm-hm, but I can't remember what.
165
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,680
Sir, just try and remember.
166
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,240
I... I know he had a Weston
167
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,320
cos he lost
his ticket to The Pussycat Dolls.
168
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,560
Oh, sir, he's going to kill you.
169
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,560
No, I'm 90% sure I didn't put
the ticket in the time capsule.
170
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,440
80%.
171
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,760
50/50.
172
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,760
THEY SIGH
173
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:36,320
Sir, I'm trying to find a way into
the school so we can steal that
174
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:40,520
time capsule, but I can't do that if
you keep blocking my line of sight.
175
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,080
Gurl, I know how to break
into the school.
176
00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:47,000
First, I will tour en l'air
to avoid the security cameras.
177
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,560
Then, I will grand jete
onto the overhang of that ledge,
178
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,280
allowing me to arabesque my way
through the window
179
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,080
and open the door to you civilians.
180
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,960
I'm going to lob a brick
through this window here.
181
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,800
And if we get caught by the police,
do you know who to call?
182
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,640
You want a lawyer? I want a stylist.
183
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:07,320
I have to look cute in my mugshot.
184
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,320
But, sir, are you really sure it's
worth the risk?
185
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:13,160
Yes! If anyone gets
to that time capsule before me,
186
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,720
I will never be able to show my face
in this school again. Hmm?
187
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,080
Now, come on!
188
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:23,960
CHATTERING
SCHOOL BELL RINGS
189
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,280
So, you haven't managed
to find the asbestos?
190
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,480
HO-DOLL: Slow down! Stop running!
191
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,840
Here I am. I am so sorry I missed
your call, Mu... Ms Hoburn.
192
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,800
Pish! Now, look,
these holes in the walls.
193
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,000
I would rather not have to explain
them to the parents,
194
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:53,560
so could your "art degree"
finally come in handy? Yes.
195
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,320
I could create a promenade piece.
196
00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,320
A labyrinthine journey through
one lonely girl's troubled...
197
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,760
Ssh! Remember the family motto,
Chloreen.
198
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:04,160
Sepelire Dolor Penitus.
199
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:07,480
Push the pain...deep, deep down.
200
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,480
Deep, deep down and keep on pushing,
201
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,160
as I always say.
202
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,600
Now, chop chop!
203
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:15,920
Ergh!
204
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:19,320
No, you can run, you can run.
205
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,040
Keep running.
HO-DOLL: Slow down!
206
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,040
Oh, morning, Mr Seaman.
Stop running!
207
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:31,480
"The Woman In Black is a 1987
stage play,
208
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,160
"citation needed."
209
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,880
Ah! OK, which one of you
Hailey Bieber-stanning beasts
210
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,240
stole my pashmina?
211
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,360
Yeah, anyone else bare cold? Mm!
212
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,760
Things have been going missing
everywhere, man.
213
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,800
Even the toilet roll
in the boy's bathroom.
214
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,520
Actually, that's just Mr Harper.
215
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,440
The staff toilets simply cannot
accommodate his...
216
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,720
..um, needs.
217
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,720
SHE CLEARS THROAT
218
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:53,120
How do you know that?
219
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:57,160
Well, I'm a passionate advocate for
open conversations about gut health.
220
00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:00,640
Just not THAT open with him.
221
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:03,520
Well, I'm not going to stay here
and freeze to death.
222
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,440
Warren, make sure they finish
the movie.
223
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,520
I have arrangements to
make for tonight.
224
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,040
You know I saw this most haunted
vid on TikTok, yeah?
225
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:17,080
They were walking around
this building, it was freezing cold,
226
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,360
and then BAM!
227
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,360
THEY SHRIEK
228
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,800
A ghost was standing right there.
229
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:24,600
I find the supernatural
deeply problematic.
230
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,040
I mean,
why are all the ghosts white?
231
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:30,080
See? It's just bad vibes!
232
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,120
THEY GASP
233
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:33,760
Huh?
234
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:35,800
Spirit. Spectre.
235
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:35,800
THEY GASP
236
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,520
Wraith. Revenant.
237
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,320
The Japanese call them "obake".
238
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:43,000
In Arabic, they're "shabah".
BUBBLES GURGLE
239
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,800
But this unhappy soul,
oh, it goes by another name.
240
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,800
The Ghost of Abbey Grove.
241
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,800
Oh, my God.
242
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,800
HE COUGHS
243
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,880
Sorry. Secondary bubbles.
244
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,960
SCHOOL BELL RINGS
245
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:05,400
Oi!
246
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,720
Ah! Come here. It's home time.
247
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:09,720
Shouldn't you be at the bookie's?
248
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,760
Here, have you seen what this new
art teacher's been up to?
249
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,600
Ooh, yikes.
250
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,000
It's always the quiet ones, yeah.
251
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,920
Yo!
252
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,840
Queen Ladifah and Laddy McGuinness.
253
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,880
No. Fancy a brewski tonight?
254
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,080
I'm busy tonight.
I've got some marking to do.
255
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:29,120
Yeah, I'm marking as well.
256
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:29,120
I was literally just going home.
257
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:29,120
FRASER GURGLES
258
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,160
Toodles. See ya.
259
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,680
I did invite the builders,
but Google's letting me down.
260
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:35,240
Have you heard of a pub called
Over My Dead Body?
261
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:36,400
Ah, on the topic of death,
262
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,480
you want to be careful
of that new art teacher.
263
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,640
Look, she's off her nut.
264
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,000
Hmm.
265
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,000
HE SNIFFS
266
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,680
She's using roadkill in her art.
267
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:48,360
You know, I am not threatened
by a powerful woman,
268
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:51,240
and I finally found one
who isn't threatened by me.
269
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,960
But isn't the fact that she's into
you, like, a huge red flag?
270
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,080
No shade. Yeah. Barely any taken.
271
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,800
Chloreen is a wonderful woman.
272
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,000
I've got a fifth sense
about these things.
273
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,040
FIFTH sense? Well, I haven't tasted
anything in years.
274
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,000
I'm on 40 a day. Cigarettes?!
275
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,200
Scotch bonnets.
276
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,680
I messed up my Ocado.
277
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:10,440
I have stuck
to my zero-food-waste policy,
278
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:13,440
but the environmental benefits
are seriously undermined
279
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:17,640
by the frankly terrifying amount of
methane being omitted from my body.
280
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:18,960
Nice.
281
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,200
I basically fracked myself.
282
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,480
Gentlemen, don't you have
homes to go to?
283
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:25,960
The janitor wants to lock up.
284
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:29,080
Ms Hoburn, what exactly is going
on with this new art teacher?
285
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,520
What are you talking about?
286
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,200
The Luna Lovegood wannabe
that we met earlier?
287
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:34,680
Yeah, she is horrendous.
288
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:37,320
Awful. She's like
if Latitude Festival come to life.
289
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,800
I have no idea who this person is.
SHE CHUCKLES
290
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,520
I mean, seriously,
look at the walls.
291
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,320
It's called art!
292
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:48,560
And for the last time,
293
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,600
I don't appreciate being grilled
about someone I've never even met.
294
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,400
I mean,
I doubt this women even exists.
295
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:55,560
Good day.
296
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:56,720
All right.
297
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,400
THEY GROAN
298
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,400
See you in the morning.
299
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,600
Well, night-night.
300
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,240
Them ghostbuster guys
on TikTok were right.
301
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:07,720
Ghosts reek.
302
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,640
Again, that could just be Mr Harper.
303
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,680
All I'm saying is, if we can prove
that she's an actual ghost,
304
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,640
there's no way
it's not going to go viral.
305
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,760
Too bad you're never going to find
an actual ghost.
306
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,800
Ooh! Ahh!
307
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,800
WOMAN HARMONISES
308
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,240
HE PANTS
309
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,240
Want to bet? Come.
310
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,840
SHE HARMONISES
311
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:30,040
WHISPERS: Night-night.
312
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:33,040
Bye-bye, Teddy.
313
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:37,640
Mm, Mr Teddy, Mr Crow...
314
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,440
HE GASPS
315
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,440
It's her! The art teacher.
316
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:41,960
She's the... The floating woman.
317
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,840
A lost soul trapped
in a state of limbo
318
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,320
between this life and the next.
319
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,560
What do this floating woman want?
320
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,600
The approval of
a cold and venal mother
321
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:52,080
incapable of understanding
her own daughter.
322
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,120
I think someone's feeling seen.
323
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,800
Let's follow it!
324
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:12,800
MUSIC: Cannonball
by Tune-Yards
325
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,000
MUSIC STOPS
326
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,280
MUSIC RESUMES
327
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,280
Ha-ha-haaa!
328
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,000
MUSIC STOPS
329
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,640
MUSIC RESUMES
330
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:28,800
Love...
331
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:31,800
..Mummy.
332
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,360
If you took those wheelies
from a pupil's locker, Chloreen,
333
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,120
I suggest you put them
back immediately.
334
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,000
But you always taught me
to prey on the weak.
335
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,720
Especially children. Look, just shut
the door, stand in the corner
336
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:41,800
and face the wall.
337
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,200
Ssh! Ssh! Ssh! Ssh!
338
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,800
Ssh! Guys, ssh!
339
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,280
Warren!
340
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,120
She's just standing
in the corner of the room.
341
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:04,040
ALL SHRIEK
342
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:05,520
What's going on out here?
343
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:08,680
Miss, that woman in your office,
she's not who she says she is.
344
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:11,760
What woman? I don't know
who you're talking about.
345
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:13,880
See? There's no-one here.
346
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,640
No-one!
347
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,040
UNDER BREATH: What?!
348
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,320
ALL SHUDDER
349
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,360
She's been possessed.
350
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,280
Run, you fools!
351
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,400
Mother, may I ask why you
pushed my head under the desk?
352
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,200
Always push it down, Chloreen.
353
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,560
Deep, deep down.
354
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:45,560
OWL HOOTS
DOG BARKS
355
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,640
USMA: I don't care if Sir
needs our help.
356
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:51,560
The demon artsy chat is so powerful,
it made Hoburn smile.
357
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,400
Oh, that's why I'm
wearing protection.
358
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,200
Why is it so bling?
359
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,120
It's a Sunday School status symbol.
360
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,520
Ooh, such a bad boy.
361
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,200
Well, I certainly brought in the
biscuits, if you know what I mean.
362
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,880
You mean you literally
brought in biscuits, don't you?
363
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,160
Where's Mr Carmichael?
364
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,200
Rargh!
365
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,200
THEY SCREAM
366
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,240
Keep your voices down!
367
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,880
This is a serious mission
to get to the time capsule.
368
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,400
So serious
you wore a leather catsuit?!
369
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,760
It's the perfect ensemble
for a heist.
370
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,600
Sleek, sultry, streamline.
371
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:23,240
And the tail? It's for balance.
372
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:27,040
Now, if you're quite finished,
we need to find that time capsule.
373
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:29,960
Let the break-in commence.
374
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,080
GLASS SHATTERS
375
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,240
HO-DOLL: I hope you're going
to clean that up.
376
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,240
This school is too creepy at night.
377
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,960
Nah, man, it's not creepy enough.
378
00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,080
HE WHIMPERS
379
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,640
SQUEAKING
380
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,400
Sir! It's the suit. Hmm?
381
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,400
Why have you got a ring light?
382
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,640
You see a haunting. I see content.
383
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,480
What are you talking about,
a haunting?
384
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,600
THEY SCREAM
385
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,000
Something just touched my leg
without consent.
386
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,360
Oh, my God!
387
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,440
Oh, no, it's just
Mr Carmichael's tail.
388
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,960
Ah, for the last time,
it's an integral part of the outfit.
389
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,080
And why are you
lot acting like Sketchy Sues? Hmm?
390
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,960
Because of the Ghost of Abbey Grove.
391
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,240
What ghost?
392
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:46,840
Mmmmm...
393
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,720
Mmmmm... Yo, I beg you,
stop making that noise.
394
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,080
Well, I can't help it.
I had ten garlic breads.
395
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,000
Ghosts hate garlic. That's vampires.
396
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,440
HIGH-PITCHED CHATTER
397
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,200
Oi, can you lot hear something?
398
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,200
Right, what are you lot
going on about?
399
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,200
ALL: The Ghost of Abbey Grove.
400
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,280
CARMICHAEL: Ah, it all makes sense.
401
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,440
Ms Hoburn was acting
like she'd never even met
402
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,640
the art teacher before,
like she'd never heard of her.
403
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:15,160
Like she didn't even exist. Huh?
404
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,520
GROANING
405
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:19,880
USMA GASPS
406
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:19,880
Oh, what was that noise?
407
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,520
Screw content!
We need to get ouuuut!
408
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:23,880
Come on! Agh!
409
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,600
Quick. I knew that art teacher
was a wrong 'un.
410
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,880
She kept talking about how her flesh
and blood walked these corridors.
411
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,480
Come on, let's get out of here.
412
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,760
I don't like this.
I do not like this.
413
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,920
HO-DOLL: Slow down! Stop running!
414
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,000
I'm touching cloth here.
It's getting louder.
415
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,800
PANICKED CHATTER
416
00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:49,840
ALL SCREAM
417
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,200
Oh, thank God, it's you guys!
418
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,120
What are you doing in here at night?
Could ask you the same thing!
419
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:58,200
And why have you got
that little mob with ya?
420
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,960
Could ask you the same thing!
Why are you dressed like a cat?
421
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,040
It's fashion.
422
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,440
HO-DOLL: Slow down! Stop running!
423
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,520
Oh, my God, there's someone else
in the school.
424
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:10,440
Who is that? Who...or what?
425
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,360
We need to find somewhere safe
right now.
426
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,400
Get in there. Get in there.
427
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,480
HUSHED CHATTER
428
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,480
Harrison, get in there.
429
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:39,000
ALL SCREAM
430
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,720
Fraser!
431
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:43,960
What are you doing here?
432
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,080
I got kicked out
by the live-in landlord.
433
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,000
She said I made her feel
uncomfortable.
434
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,440
Don't you live with your mum?
Well, not any more.
435
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,240
So you stole the toilet roll?
436
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,360
Lovely. I'll have a few of those,
eh, Jinx?
437
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,400
Is that my pashmina?!
438
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,400
HE WRETCHES
439
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:57,480
Ugh! Ugh!
440
00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:01,520
This smell is rancid in here.
That'll be the face mask. Home-made.
441
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,800
Since Hoburn banned avocados
for being too "millennial",
442
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,400
I've had to find
an alternative source
443
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,960
for vitamins B2, 3, 6, 12 and D.
444
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,640
Any chance you didn't
make it from...?
445
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,800
Correct. My famous mackerel lasagne.
446
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,600
What about the freezing
temperatures?
447
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,400
The boiler broke. I've had
to crank the heat up at night...
448
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,520
It makes sense.
..to ward off the mega rats.
449
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,240
HE HISSES
450
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,240
Mega rats?!
451
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,240
They're jonesing for my mackerel.
452
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,480
Yeah, well, Mr Harper wants to get
to the time capsule
453
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,840
before it's opened. Ugh! Harrison!
454
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,960
Come on, man. What?
455
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,560
Sor...? The time caps-u-elle?
456
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:35,840
STEPHEN LAUGHS
Well, I am shocked and appalled.
457
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,960
Wh... What, you were sneaking
in here like a monster rat
458
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,440
to get to the time capsule?!
459
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,920
Well, Hoburn keeps it in her office.
460
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,480
BOTH: How do you know that?
461
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:44,880
Hmm! Hmm!
462
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,960
I've got peepholes everywhere.
463
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,760
Forget I said that.
464
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,760
THEY LAUGH
465
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:53,840
Peephole!
466
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:53,840
THEY LAUGH
467
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,440
I'm just going to... No, Stephen!
468
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:56,840
Get out of my way, bitch.
469
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,280
STEPHEN SCREAMS
470
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,280
Move!
471
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,080
Stephen!
472
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,080
THEY STRAIN
473
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,200
Ahh!
474
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,080
Right, no...
475
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,840
Get off me now!
No-one can see what...
476
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:12,960
THUD
477
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:12,960
Ooh! Aah! Ow.
478
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,520
Are you OK? Careful!
479
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,240
That contains Alf Bestos.
480
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,240
HE SCREAMS
481
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,400
Fraser, why didn't you say
something, you bellend?!
482
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,120
Not asbestos. ALF Bestos.
483
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:25,160
I tried explaining this to Hoburn
over the sound of the drilling.
484
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,800
Alf Bestos was my rap collab.
485
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,440
With Slick Wicks?
486
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,080
Alf Bestos, besties,
partners in crime
487
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,640
We often drink together
and we text all the time...
488
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,160
We did text a lot, actually.
489
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,600
I hope I get sick
so he can donate a kidney
490
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,280
His banter's so fly,
I want a bit of him in me
491
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,240
Alf Bestos, we're brothers
He ain't no mystery
492
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,560
I even know his password
and read his search history
493
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:50,800
Monday, 10:30 in the morn
494
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,800
I caught him
in the staffroom looking at...
495
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:54,160
OK, right, I've changed my mind.
496
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:55,520
I was going to say "porn."
497
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:56,760
I will not be blackmailed.
498
00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,040
I'll just admit that
I lost the kids' GCSEs in a casino.
499
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,400
That was tragic.
500
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,160
What else is in there?
501
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,600
Inchez! No. Give... Give that back!
502
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,080
Do not open that capsule!
503
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:09,440
This is for Mr Harper.
504
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,720
Ah-ha! Ah-ha!
505
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,200
Oh... Ah!
506
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:18,800
OK, Carmichael, time to see
what you REALLY thought of me.
507
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,160
HE CLEARS THROAT
508
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,360
"Mitchell, I lo...
509
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,320
"..loathe you.
510
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:36,040
"I loathe the way
you can only write in crayon.
511
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,880
"I loathe how your scalp
glistens in the sun."
512
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,080
Huh?
513
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:41,680
"I've always loathed you,
514
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:45,360
"and I really think
I might loathe you forever."
515
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:46,960
Ha-ha!
516
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,520
Psych!
517
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,080
Eugh!
518
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:52,520
Thank you.
519
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,040
And, just so you know,
that little phase lasted less time
520
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,480
than Kim K's first marriage.
521
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:59,880
I don't blame you, mate. I was
522
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:59,880
a right sort when I was 13. Ugh...
523
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:59,880
LEATHER SLAPS
524
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:02,120
Ugh! Why is there a little
love heart on the envelope?
525
00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:04,320
Ooh, shall we see what else
is in the time capsule?
526
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:05,960
Ooh, there's one for Mr Carmichael.
527
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,240
"To Stephen, from Mitchell."
528
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,400
Oh! Cute!
529
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,960
HE CHUCKLES
530
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,960
And it's a jar.
531
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,840
He gave you nothingness? Brutal.
532
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,000
Shushamumbo...
533
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,720
Oh, it's one of them airtight ones.
534
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:21,360
Airtight?
535
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:22,960
Oh, shit! Don't open that jar.
536
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,040
What?!
537
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:25,440
I farted in it. Agh!
538
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:29,160
GLASS SHATTERS
INAUDIBLE
539
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:35,240
SLOW-MO: I can taste it!
540
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,720
SLOW-MO: Argh!
541
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:53,480
That was a 12-year malt.
542
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,480
Ugh, disgusting!
543
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,840
MUSIC PLAYS
544
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,840
Wait, can you hear that?
545
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,480
I think it's coming from the gym.
546
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:04,040
HE HISSES
547
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,280
MUSIC: Cheek To Cheek
by Fred Astaire
548
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,160
This music is dead.
549
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:20,960
THEY'RE dead.
550
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:24,560
THEY SCREAM
551
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:25,960
Me and Inchez are trapped.
552
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,120
There's...
There's not much air left.
553
00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:30,560
We might...
We might not make it out alive.
554
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:34,240
I'm not crying. My eyes are
just streaming from the stench.
555
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,760
But my mascara is still flawless.
556
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,960
UnpaidAd
557
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,680
DEATHLY GROANS
558
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,680
Agh! What was that?
559
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,640
Yo, I've got the door open.
Let's go, man.
560
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,760
HE SIGHS
561
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,640
WHISPERS:
Hey, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. Yo.
562
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:01,760
It's Warren's.
563
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,400
You think it's a bad omen? No.
564
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,160
It's a good omen, man.
565
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,720
It's a sign from the big guy.
566
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,320
Inchez, we're going to die!
567
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:23,920
Nah, we ain't.
568
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,120
We're taking this pussio down!
569
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,040
The power of Stormzy compels you.
570
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,440
You're blinded by the light, bruv.
571
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:40,040
You're getting too big for your
boots, I say, I say, I say...
572
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:44,320
SUPPRESSED SQUEALS
573
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:44,320
Shut up! Shut up!
574
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:46,880
SUPPRESSED SQUEALS
575
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:46,880
Shut up, rude boy.
576
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,520
Ah-ha-hah! I did it!
577
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:50,280
I caught the ghost!
578
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:53,080
Mate, that was incredible.
Guys, we just caught a ghost!
579
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,600
Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha...
580
00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:57,440
Wait.
581
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:58,960
It's a mask.
582
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,960
HE SCREAMS
583
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,880
Will someone please untie me
from this blasted chair?
584
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:09,560
She's possessed.
A spirit has entered her body.
585
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,960
That's why she's more creepier
than usual.
586
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:13,680
I beg your pardon?!
587
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:15,000
If anything had entered me,
588
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,680
I'm pretty sure I'd feel it.
589
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,680
MITCHELL SNICKERS
590
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,160
So tell us why you're
running around wearing this shit.
591
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:22,400
It's PPE.
592
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,440
I'm looking for asbestos
before the parents kick up a fuss.
593
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,000
What about the flickering lights?
594
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,200
Oh, the builders drilled
through the wiring.
595
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,400
But what about the ghosts
in the gym?
596
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,480
I hire out the gym
for evening classes.
597
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:35,360
Can I help it
if it's poorly attended?
598
00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:37,040
She definitely sounds like Hoburn.
599
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:38,880
Are you in there, demon?!
600
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,920
THEY SCREAM
601
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:44,360
THEY WHIMPER
602
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:44,360
The power of Christ repels you!
603
00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:46,040
It's Claudia Winkleman.
604
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,960
Hello, Mother. ALL: Mother?
605
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,280
What?! Mother? Who's Mother?
606
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:54,560
Oh, fine.
607
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:57,720
Let me introduce Chloreen,
my ex-husband's daughter,
608
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:01,200
though I maintain I'm still only
one of five possible mothers.
609
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,560
That's why you pretended you
didn't know who she was.
610
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,800
You're a nepo baby.
611
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,800
THEY GASP
612
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,840
Yeah, but what the bloody hell
are you doing here in the middle of the night?
613
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:10,400
I have my reasons.
614
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,480
Not you having the hots for Fraser.
615
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,880
I love your cloak.
I love your pyjamas. Thanks.
616
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,120
Broadmoor. I know. I have a pair.
617
00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:22,240
Ugh...
618
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,600
HOBURN SIGHS
619
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,600
Oh, no, Chloreen. Not again!
620
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,880
What?! I've spent my life craving
your approval,
621
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,160
but I'm stuck
in the same old toxic patterns.
622
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:35,280
The art, the improv, the deeply
flawed choice of sexual partners.
623
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,520
They're all cries for help.
624
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,080
But I finally get it.
625
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:43,320
You're simply not capable
of giving me what I need.
626
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,160
So I don't need your approval.
627
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,600
I need to establish some
clear bound...
628
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,640
And she's gone.
629
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:51,800
THEY GASP
630
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,120
I mean, maybe a tiny bit of approval
would be nice.
631
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:57,400
Sorry.
632
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,760
So, did we kill the demon?
What are you talking about?
633
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:02,240
Like, is it still here?
634
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,720
Oh, Usma, you've gone viral.
No way! You mean, YOU'VE gone viral.
635
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:07,160
What can I say? Man's infectious.
636
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,400
Yeah, I wouldn't shout about that
if I was you, Inchez.
637
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,440
We should make a time capsule.
SHE GASPS
638
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,200
Yes! I can put my
new manifesto in it.
639
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,120
"No-one is too white
to make a difference."
640
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,840
Fraser, what are you going to put
in the next time capsule?
641
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:22,800
You know what?
642
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,920
I like to think of myself
as a bit of a time capsule.
643
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:27,960
SHE CHUCKLES
644
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,040
HE CACKLES
645
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,120
What do you reckon he meant by that?
Don't know.
646
00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:34,240
Probably Fraser just being Fraser.
647
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,240
MUSIC ECHOES
648
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,120
FRASER: Say cheese.
649
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:51,240
And I seem to find
the happiness I seek
650
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,880
When we're out together
651
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:58,480
Dancing cheek to cheek
652
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,680
Heaven
653
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,760
I'm in heaven
654
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:09,520
And the cares that hung around me
through the week
655
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,320
Seem to vanish
like a gambler's lucky streak...
656
00:29:12,370 --> 00:29:16,920
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