All language subtitles for The.Dukes.of.Hazzard.S03E01.WEBRip.x264-ION10

♪ Just a good ol' boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you never saw ♪

♪ Been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Straightenin' the curves ♪

♪ Flattenin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the mountain
might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ Well that's just
a little bit more ♪

♪ Than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just a good ol' boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change
if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system like
a two modern day Robin Hood ♪♪

[both]
Yee-haw!

[engine revving]

[explosion]

Where are we gonna find
another sucker

to make the Leap for Life
when we get to Hazzard?

That's not till next week.

Believe me, I'll find
some local country boy

beggin' for the chance by then.

I just thought that
maybe for once

I'd found myself
a real man.

Well, lady, maybe
for once, you have.

Bo Duke can't make that jump
without that orange car of his.

- Oh, uh, the General Lee?
- Yeah, the General Lee.

So steal it, wreck it,
confiscate it, whatever.

- To-to the carnival.
- And to us.

Yeah, from the sound
oftheGeneral

she sounds all rescued
and rarin' to go.

Yeah, no thanks to Luke.

The General got impounded
and Luke here

didn't even lift
a finger to help him out.

Well, that may be so.

It was him who got us
in all this mess

just because some lady
made a pass at him.

Listen, Luke, I don't have to
take that from you.

I don't have to take that
from anybody.

Y-you're just lucky

that we're in Uncle Jesse's
house, that's all.

You're unlucky, 'cause
we can always step outside.

[Jesse]
'Now, boys..'

Boys, now,
j-just simmer down

before you do somethin' you'll
regret the rest of your life.

Uncle Jesse, I ain't got
no regrets about nothin'.

Especially not this.

[groans]

Cousin, now you
just started somethin'

you ain't half man
enough to finish.

Stop it! Bo! Luke!

Uncle Jesse, make 'em stop!

Oh, now, Daisy, you're
wastin' your breath.

They're hurtin' each other.
Stop!

Well, there's only one way
to stop this thing.

Bo! Luke!

Alright!

[gunshots]

Alright!

Now, get up on your feet

and stop actin' like jackasses

'and apologize to each other.'

Alright, I'm-I'm sorry.

I guess maybe I...
maybe I spoke out of turn.

You're dang right you did.

No, I ain't shakin'
your dang hand, neither.

Not till you take back
every word you said about Diane.

Hey, all I said is she's been
around some, and maybe..

Maybe she's just a little
out of your league, that's all.

Well, I reckon that's for me
to decide, isn't it?

Oh, Bo.

Bo, you can't let a girl
come between you and Luke.

Daisy, I'm sorry. I..

I guess this farm's
just gotten a bit too small

for...both me and Luke.

- Uncle Jesse, stop him.
- No.

No, there's some things
a man's gotta learn for himself.

I guess this is one
of the more important.

Now, what you've just seen

is more than
a dang fool in love.

It was a piece
of Hazzard history.

It was the first time
Duke fought Duke

since the war
between the states.

[Jesse]
'I know you don't
wanna be lectured to, but..'

Well, there's a couple of things
I want you to take with you.

First one is, uh..

I want you to know
I love you dearly.

The other one is..

...whenever you
get through doin'

whatever it is you gotta do..

...realize that this
is your home.

You can always come back.

Uncle Jesse,
I reckon it's, uh..

It's Luke that's gotta do
some of the realizin'.

Yeah.

[Balladeer]
Friends, just remember

pride is
one terrible master.

[tires screeching]

Here. Maybe this'll
cool you off.

That was quite an entrance.

I-I'm sorry.
I didn't..

I didn't mean that.

I-I just got somethin'
I gotta get off my mind.

Could you loan me $250?

I-I gotta make a down payment

on my cousin's half
toGeneral Lee.

I think we could manage it.

Tickets have been
sellin' pretty good.

Especially since
the local people found out

you're gonna
be the one makin' the jump.

Got somethin' else
on your mind?

Yeah.

Y-you know that extra RV
you said you had?

Well, is that offer still good?

It's yours.

Although I don't think
you're gonna be spendin'

a whole lot of time there.

[country music]

Bye-bye, now.

Yee-haw! Whoo!

[engine revving]

His name is Bo Duke.

[Balladeer]
Looks like Bo's
gettin' in deeper

over his head every minute.

A typical Duke.

Suspect appears to be
usin' the same MO

she used on
the previous times.

[Jesse]
'And father, we ask
that you bring this family'

back together again,
as soon as you see fit.

[all]
Amen.

Well, everybody dig in.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, Uncle Jesse,
I just ain't hungry.

Now, Daisy, it ain't
gonna do Bo no good

if we just worry
ourselves sick about it.

Yet, somethin' changes
in a man when he's in love.

I don't care what name
you put on it.

Can't be love if it comes
between a man and his family.

Yeah.

[engine revving]

Uh, Boss, this is, uh,
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.

You got your ears on,
little buddy?

'I got somethin' sweet for your
ears if you have. Then go on.'

Rosco, my ears is already
full of somethin' sweet.

'You hear me?'

This diet gelatin
I'm tryin' to eat

in order to reduce
to my TV image.

Ooh! Well, you just
stay with it, little fat buddy.

''Cause,
I'll tell you this, Boss'

'you're gonna need
that slimmed down image'

'just so you can
take over that show.'

You mean you arrested
them Duke boys?

Uh, we-well,
you're about half right.

You mean you arrested
one of them Duke boys?

Uh, you better-better
call that a quarter right.

I do have Enos
all ready for the attack.

Who's that?

It's Enos.

Come on in, Enos.

- 'Hi, Luke.'
- How you doin'?

[Enos]
Very good. Thank you.

You need anything to eat?

We got ourselves
an extra place here.

Yeah, I appreciate that.
Uncle Jesse, Daisy.

Do us a world of good to see
a friendly face around here.

Well, it sure
ain't gonna be mine.

Is Bo alright?

I reckon he's alright,
Uncle Jesse

but, Luke,
you're under arrest

for assault and battery
of that crane operator

at the Hazzard junkyard.

Oh, come on.
And put them away.

I'm sorry. Hold these please.
I'm sorry. Dang.

Oh, Enos, please.

"One, you have
the right to remain quiet.

Two, if you give up the right--"

Enos, just spare us, alright?

I mean, I've heard
that thing so many times

I know it up and down
and inside out.

[Luke]
'You know, you picked a heck
of a time to do this'

what with Bo needin'
all the help he can get.

See ya later.

Sure looks good.
I'm sorry.

What do we do now?

Well, I'd say
the first thing we gotta do

is get Luke back.

[siren blaring]

Alright, Bo Duke. Freeze!

Hey, Rosco.

Freeze it!
Just freeze it right there.

- I got you.
- You got me for what?

Rosco, are you crazy?

You know you can't arrest me
for no drivin' violation

on the Fairgrounds.

No! No,
what I got you for

is a crime of stealin'
county property

namely one
orange colored vehicle

better known as,
"The General Lee."

Rosco, you've gone senile.

You've definitely
gone senile.

Everybody in Hazzard County
knows this here car

belongs to me and Luke.

Oh. Oh, yeah, well

I've got you for unimpoundin'
it out of the junkyard

without payin'
the impoundin' fee

and without gettin'
an impoundin' certificate.

Listen. Come on. I'm gonna
take you to the slammer

and we're gonna haul
the General Leebehind.

Wait a minute.
Can he do that?

Yeah, he can. He can
do anything he wants

as long as he's got
that dirty badge on.

Rosco, you ought to see
if Boss'll clean that--

- Don't you threaten--
- Rosco!

Will you stop before you
shoot your blang foot off?

Oh, hush!
Just, come on. Come on.

- Let's go. Come on.
- Don't hold my hand.

Listen, don't-don't..

Don't resist arrestin'.

[Rosco]
'Oh, ooh!'

That.. See what
your vehicle did?

- Done scuffed mine.
- Now you done it, Rosco.

Uh, just get out there
and just get in there.

I'm serious, now. Lookit.

It probably just scuffed
the heck out of it.

[Balladeer] Well, I've been wantin' the boys to get back together.

Bo, I hate to do this to you.

This way, you got Luke
to talk to.

And what am I
supposed to say to him?

Thanks for not gettin' a receipt
for the impound money?

Hey, there wouldn't have been
no need for impound money at all

if you hadn't let
that girl talk you

into makin' that fool stunt
in the first place.

You're pushin' it, Luke.
Will you just shut up?

- I'm sick and tired of you--
- I don't wanna hear about it--

You don't wanna hear
any more about it?

What about me?

[laughing]

Well, what do you know, Rosco?

You are witnessing

a great historical moment
in Hazzard County.

- Duke fightin' Duke.
- Oh! Yeah.

I tell ya, it is
a red letter day, Boss.

Eh, you mean green letter day,
don't you?

- Green?
- 'Yeah. Like in money.'

Which is what it's gonna take

to get them boys out of jail,
on bail.

- Ooh!
- Five hundred dollars for each.

Ooh, yeah, each.

Which I just happen to know
they just don't happen to have.

- I know.
- Well, I do.

Huh?

- Unlock pretty boy's cell.
- What?

You can count this while
you make out the bail receipt.

- There's $500.
- $500?

- Uh, I said $5000, didn't I?
- You said 500.

Eh! Didn't I?

- No, you said 500--
- Oh!

You mean to say
that you're dang fool enough

to risk your hard-earned money
on the likes of Bo Duke?

'That's right.'

He sells tickets,
and we need an audience.

You..
Why didn't you--

- Cut him loose.
- Oh, my pleasure.

- Uh, what about Luke?
- It's your problem.

Come on, pretty boy.

Sorry, Luke.

Oh, uh, say..

You know, after I make
that jump on Saturday

maybe I'll be nice enough
to arrange

somebody to bail you out.

Look, don't bother,
alright?

I'd stay in here till
I was Uncle Jesse's age

before I'd take
a dime of your money.

[Balladeer]
Now, let's see.

If Bo don't make the jump

well, he can't get Luke
out of jail

and Luke's too proud
to go anyway.

I used to have
a team of mules like that.

Hey, Carl, I guess
I had you all wrong.

Thanks a lot for bailin'
me andthe Generalout.

Yeah, well, you didn't
have me all wrong.

I would've let you rot in there

if it wasn't
for your girlfriend.

Now I guess I just have
to run right over there

and thank her
personal like, won't I?

Don't be too personal about it.

Or you won't last
any longer with Diane

than me or any of the others.

Thanks a lot, Carl.
I'll try to remember that.

Yeah, well,
you do that, lover boy.

In the meantime,
I'll just keep my eyes peeled

for some other sucker
to take your place.

Thank you. Bye, now.

[engine revving]

Sorry I had to borrow
on you,Dixie

but it's for a good cause.

Hey, Luke. Got good news
and bad news.

And the good news
is we got together $500

to bail one of you out.

And we didn't have to
make a choice about it

'cause the carnival people
beat us to it

by bailin' out Bo.

Yeah, I sure wish
they hadn't too

'cause Bo'd be
a lot safer here in the cell

than at the Fairgrounds

tryin' to make that
big ol' jump Saturday.

Hey, hold on a second.

Now, you said there was
good news and bad.

Oh! The bad news..

Well, it don't look like
we gonna finish

that checker game,
Luke, and I was winnin'.

Uh, don't speak too soon, Enos.

'You forgot to king me.'

[Jesse laughing]

He was taught by an expert.

Champeen.

Possum on a gum bush.

How in the world
he do that?

[Balladeer]
No sooner had
Uncle Jesse and Daisy

got Luke
sprung out of Iron City

they sprung
another surprise on him.

What's the matter, Daisy? You
forget the way back to the farm?

We ain't goin' to the farm.

We're headed
to the Fairgrounds

to try and talk
some sense into Bo's head.

That'll be the day.

Oh, now, Luke,
Bo might be acting

a little stupid these days

but he ain't the first man
to be smitten by a woman.

Uncle Jesse,
it's a waste of time.

Anybody who's fool enough
to let a girl like that

come between
him and his family..

He don't even deserve
to be called a Duke.

- Daisy?
- 'Yeah?'

Stop the car.

- What?
- Turn her off. Just..

- Turn it off!
- Okay.

- Get out!
- What for?

Just get out here!

Couple of things you and
me have gotta settle first.

Now, then, if there's
one thing I taught you boys

I taught it was that there's
two sides to every argument.

Alright, well, this time
Bo's on the wrong side.

- Oh, he is, is he?
- Yeah.

Well, his excuse
is that he's in love.

Now, what's yours?

Well, I don't
take kindly to gettin'

punched in the face
for speakin' my mind.

Oh, so your pride's
been hurt, huh?

And you gotta strike out
and hit something.

Well, alright. Hit me.

- Just come on.
- Uncle Jesse.

- Hit me right here.
- You know I can't hit you.

- You know that!
- Why not?

Why? I'd rather see you hit me

than go through the pain

of watching you two
hit each other.

[Jesse]
'Now, listen to me.'

Us Dukes ain't got much

when it comes to worldly goods

but we got somethin'
that's more important.

We got a love and respect
for each other

'that binds us together
like glue.'

'Us Dukes is one.'

So just put 'em up.

I tell. Just, go ahead.

Put 'em up!
Put 'em up! Put 'em up!

'Cause I'll tell you what.

I ain't about to stand aside

and see my family torn apart

by a-a couple of hotheads
that think

'that they got no more sense'

than a-than a chicken
raidin' the fox's den.

It ain't funny!

Alright, Uncle Jesse, you win!

Look, I was hotheaded.
I was a jackass.

I can see we..

The only thing
we got is a family.

What a family.

All we gotta do is convince Bo

that the family's
the important thing.

Come on. Hop in. Let's go.

- Come on.
- Get in there!

Alright! Alright!
I'm going. I'm in.

Start her up, Daisy. Come on,
Uncle Jesse. Get in here.

- For Pete's sake.
- You know, it is kinda funny.

Why don't you move the silver
on top of the blue one?

[honking]

Howdy, Miss Benson.

We came by to see Bo.

Oh, I don't think
you had the pleasure

of meetin' my Uncle Jesse.

Howdy do, ma'am?

Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Duke.

Now I see where you boys
get your good looks from.

Oh, and I see
why Bo's so taken with you.

You got a way
of sweet talkin' a man.

Now, if you don't mind

we'd like a word
with him ourselves.

You gonna try and talk him
into quittin' the show?

Yeah, you bet we are, ma'am.

And we want you
to know about it

because us Dukes don't believe

in talkin' behind
somebody's back.

And I don't believe
in forcin' anyone

into doing anything
they don't wanna do.

Good.

So...I won't even try to

stop you from dissuading him.

Well, now that we
got all our cards

on the table,
why don't we just, uh--

You're gonna have
to wait a minute.

He's about to do
a practice run. Excuse me.

- 'He's checking the ramp.'
- Yeah, sure.

Alright, everyone off the track!

Clear the track!

[engine revving]

- No!
- Come on.

[Jesse]
Bo!

Whoo!

- Are you alright?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

It's just another 20 feet there

and I'd have really messed up.

Hm, fine. What are you
doing here?

Afraid I'll crash theGeneral

before I get to pay you
for your half?

I was afraid
you'd bust your neck

before I got a chance
to pound some sense--

Now, you two cool it!

I'm gettin' tired
of all this backbitin'.

Now, shake hands and make up

before I whoop you both,
and I can do it.

Well, mean it!

I'm sorry, Bo.

I guess I ain't been too long
on understandin' lately.

Well, that didn't
give me no call

to throw the first punch.

- I'm sorry.
- We's all family again.

[Luke]
'Yeah, speakin' of family'

'you know, it's gonna take
three good men'

to plough and plant
that back 40.

[Bo]
'Oh, it sure will, cousin.
It sure will.'

- Ah, then we can count on you?
- 'You sure can.'

Hey, with all that money
I'm gonna make

doing that stunt driving

I'll be able to get
y'all enough hands

to do 4, 500 acres at least.

Jesse, I can't talk to him.

Let us know when
you get the hands.

Yes, sir.

Hey.

I think maybe we should've
left Daisy back there.

What for?

Well, she could've talked
a little sense into Bo's head.

I don't think it'd do much good.

Uh, Luke's right, Uncle Jesse.

The only person Bo's
listenin' to right now is Diane.

- We got company.
- Hmm.

I wonder if he's followin' us?

Well, there's
one way to find out.

[engine revving]

He's followin' us.

- Wonder what for?
- Why don't we stop and ask him?

Well, now you caught us.
How can we, how can we help you?

[Jesse]
Who are you,
and what do you want?

Name's John Zimbra.

Special investigator, Southern
Counties Insurance company.

We hold the liability policy
on The Carnival Of Thrills.

Well, then, you're chasin'
after the wrong Dukes.

It's our cousin Bo
who's makin' that big jump.

Does he know he's
the fourth one to try that

in the last three months?

Well, we all saw the last guy
who tried it.

It was a pretty hairy accident.

If it was an accident.

All of the other drivers crashed

while tryin' the same stunt.

Are you inferrin'
what we think you are?

My insurance company
thinks it was attempted murder

and whoever tried that before

just might try it again.

Well, let's see
if pretty boy's as short on guts

as he is on brains
when he tries it this time.

[engine revving]

[Balladeer]
You know, Bo ain't short
of neither guts or brains..

...and he sure better not
be short of distance.

[Balladeer]
General Lee was gettin'
skittish and colicky..

...like he was warnin'
old Bo not to make that jump.

And old Bo was havin'
some hard thoughts

about the last man
who tried it.

And you didn't think
he had any guts.

He bailed out of that spot

like he's been doin' it
all of his life.

Well, I still think he lost
his nerve and pulled up short.

Now, tomorrow,
there'll be 32 cars

lined up in front of that ramp

and the stands will be
full of Hazzard people

just whoopin' it up.

- One little distraction--
- Come on, Carl.

You sound as if
you don't want Bo to make it.

Well, my dear, I just think
the boy's in over his head.

Listen, y'all, I just
don't know what's happening

with that dang General Lee

but I promise I'll
get him fixed for you

if it takes me all night.

Well, we don't pay any overtime.

Maybe you can consider this
as part of a bonus.

Well, alright!
Hey, I'll tell you what.

Why don't we save
the rest of that bonus

till after I make
that jump tomorrow?

Then it ought to be worth
twice as much. Won't it, Carl?

- Yeah.
- Bye-bye.

[Balladeer]
Man, I hate
that kind of smile.

Anyway, the Dukes and Zimbra

went to Cedar City hospital

to talk with the last driver

who tried to make that jump.

Must be hard to be cheerful
in your spot, son.

'We talked to the nurse,
and she said'

you were gonna be
good as new in no time.

Only a little smarter, I hope.

We saw that jump you made.

Yeah, uh, the take-off was right
on line. What happened then?

Beats me.
I was sittin' on all eight.

Then, at the last second

the engine up and quit on me.

Just like that?
No warnin' or anythin'?

Mister, I tested that car
an hour before the jump.

I went over every inch of her.

'She was in perfect condition.'

Well, she took sick
awful sudden, then.

You wouldn't happen to know
where they got the car now?

Should be over
at the Cedar City garage.

Why don't we all
take a run over there

and maybe we can
figure out what happened.

Make sure it don't happen to Bo.

Yeah.

- Uh, take care of yourself.
- Thank you.

- Yeah. We'll see you later.
- Bye-bye.

[Balladeer]
Back in Hazzard,
Bo thought he was in heaven.

And that's exactly where
he might be windin' up

in a few more hours.

You all set for the big day?

Diane, I had my big day
when I met you.

I hope you mean that, Bo

because I feel
the same way about you.

[chuckles]

You're gonna be dynamite
out there this afternoon.

You're gonna show
those people a jump

like they've never seen before.

[country music]

There she be..

3500 pounds of
southern fried stock car.

I see you pulled
the transmission.

Why not? She was still
sound as a dollar.

I can make you a real good
deal for it, if you want.

Hey, Luke,
if the transmission's still good

then maybe it's got somethin'
to do with the fuel line.

Check that fuel line.
Could be plugged.

Yeah, could be.

[Luke]
'Just the opposite,
Uncle Jesse.'

'What do you mean?'

Take a look at this.

That gas line
wasn't wore through.

It was cut deliberate.

When he stepped on it
to go for that jump

a lot more gas hit the ground

than made it to the carburetor.

That means...Bob Dexter
didn't have no accident.

That was, uh...

Attempted murder.

That's the third time
it's happened

while somebody's tryin'
to make that jump.

If we don't make it to Hazzard
in exactly 90 minutes

Bo just might be the fourth.

Come on.

[Carl on loudspeaker]
'Keep movin' along, folks.'

'There's a lot of people
behind you'

'and the show's
gettin' ready to start!'

[male vendor]
'Hot dogs here!'

[Carl]
'Keep those lines movin',
y'all.'

'There's plenty of seats left.'

Ha ha ha!
Alright, alright.

That's clean
as a country shine. Whoo!

Aw, Cooter, the General ain't
never sounded that good.

You're a genius, partner.

Well, least I could do,
seein' as how

this one might be
your last stunt.

Why don't we go back
to the motor home

and relax a little bit.

You've only got just over
an hour before you jump.

Alright, that
sounds fine with me.

Hey, hey, thanks a lot, Cooter.

- Good luck, Bo.
- Yeah.

Eh, I-I'll see
you later, Cooter.

Yeah! Yeah, I sure hope so.

I sure hope so.

Well, Boss, I'm tellin' you

there are more people
buyin' tickets

than fleas on
an old hound dog's tail.

That Bo Duke's
sure packin' them in.

Rosco, that's
an awful thing to say

to a man who's nursin'
an empty stomach.

Listen, on that hot dog

could you put double mustard

'onions, and lots and lots
of pickle lily?'

Ohh!

Enos, I'm gonna pick your lily.

Ain't you got
no respect for the obese?

[Enos]
'Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Hogg.'

I got hunger pains
like you don't know.

You want me to get you
a little snack, Mr. Hogg?

Like a half-dozen corn dogs

'and a mess of popcorn,
good old buttered popcorn.'

No! No! No!
I'm gonna hold on!

Maybe I'll just get lucky.

And maybe we'll
have a big rainstorm

or a blizzard,
maybe even a tornado.

Nothin' big, mind you,
just big enough

to make them have to give
these folks their money back.

I'm afraid you're
out of luck, Boss.

There ain't a cloud in the sky.

[Balladeer]
Gettin' word back to Hazzard

to stop that jump
was a real problem.

The sheriff's office
didn't answer

and the Boar's Nest was closed.

And old Cooter
was at the Fairgrounds

which didn't have
no phone in the first place.

There's no answer.
What do I do now?

Hang it up.
We gotta roll.

Hey, you'd best let me drive.

If we don't cut a couple corners

and, uh, bend
a few speedin' laws

we're liable to get there
just in time for Bo's funeral.

Alright.

[engine revving]

[dramatic music]

[Balladeer]
Now we know what that
nasty grin was all about.

General, you've just met
your Appomattox.

[country music]

[man on loudspeaker]
'Here's the carnival thrill..'

[Balladeer]
Back at the Fairgrounds,
they was warmin' up

for the main event.

[engine revving]

[applause]

[explosion]

[crashing]

[applause]

Well, just don't
stand there, stone head!

Can't you do something?
Stop the show!

- How?
- Arrest somebody.

Oh, oh.
Uh, on what charge?

Uh! I don't know.
Invent one.

- Oh, uh...like what?
- Well, well, yeah.

'Attempting suicide.'

'Ooh! Ooh! I know
what I can get him on.'

Uh-uh, bein' a human
fire hazard.

Ah-oh!

[Carl on loudspeaker]
'And now, Arlo will perform'

'the spectacular
Ring of Fire jump.'

'Get 'em, Arlo!'

[engine revving]

Well, looks like Arlo made it.

That's nothing compared to
the applause you're gonna hear

when you make that 32-car jump.

This is just the beginning, Bo.

When word gets out
about you, we're gonna hit

every state fair in the country.

Don't worry.
You're gonna be great.

We're gonna spend
the rest of our lives

listenin' to crowds
applaud, together.

Yeah.

[Balladeer]
Now remember,
friends and neighbors

when you're trippin'
tall cotton

that's the time
to look for snakes.

[country music]

We're never gonna
make it, fellas.

We got 20 more miles to go.

It's about half that,
as the crow flies.

Well, that crow
better fly fast

or it'll be more like
a vulture hoverin' over

what's left
of Bo and theGeneral.

Here's a good place.
Hang on!

[Carl on loudspeaker]
'This is the big one, folks.'

'Twice the excitement,
twice the thrills'

'twice the danger,
and twice the fun for everyone.'

'Let 'er rip, fellows!'

[engine revving]

[explosion]

[Carl on loudspeaker]
'Bev's got a lot of guts
standing out there.'

'Let's hear it for Bev, folks .'

- Ooh! Ooh!
- Wow!

Look at that, boy!

[Carl on loudspeaker]
'Are you alright, honey-child?'

Good girl!

Wow! Ding dang!

How cute is that?

That crowd ain't
never, ever, ever

ever gonna leave now!

I sure don't need
no streamlined image.

Give me that. Mmm.

[Carl on loudspeaker]
'Just 15 minutes, folks,
till the grand finale'

'when the Carnival Of Thrills'

'will attempt to set
a new record'

by jumping 32, count 'em,
folks, parked vehicles.

'And the man who will attempt'

'the daring, death-defying
Leap for Life'

'your good friend, Bo Duke!'

[crowd applauding]

Whoo-hoo!

[country music]

This ought to take us right up
to the back of the Fairgrounds.

Then we will make it, after all?

Yep.

Luke, that bridge at
Choctaw Gully's out.

How we gonna get across?

Well, it can't be
but 30, 40 feet across.

30, 40?

Mr. Zimbra,
how's this car fly?

[engine revving]

- Did we make it?
- What does it look like.

Well, that's the closest
I want to get to heaven

for the next 30 years.

We gotta make it through
the next 30 seconds.

- You ready, Bo?
- Yes.

And now, ladies and gentlemen

the moment you've all
been waiting for.

Hazzard County's own Bo Duke

will attempt
the breathtaking leap for life.

[crowd cheering]

[engine revving]

[tires screech]

Dang it, Luke, if you don't
get that car out of my way

I'm gonna have to drive
right over it and you!

Well, go ahead.
That's about your speed.

Luke, I'm..

You're pushin' it, boy!
You're really pushin' it!

Bo, stop it! Now, come on,
settle down, folks.

Now, Daisy, you just
stay out of this.

Rosco! Rosco,
do my eyes deceive me

or is that Luke
tryin' to persuade Bo

not to make the jump?

Well, they seem to be fussin'.

Yeah, well, maybe
our luck has turned!

Come on, let's go!
Let's go get 'em!

[Jesse]
'Now, listen you two'

'I'm liable
to take the both of you'

'and put you over my knee
and whoop some sense into you--'

- But, Uncle Jesse, he started--
- Now, Bo!

[Jesse]
'Luke wants
to tell you something'

and I want you to stand
there and listen to him

and I don't wanna hear one peep
out of you, you understand?

- Yes, sir!
- 'Alright.'

Alright, I'm gonna
make this simple.

Now, you remember what
happened to the last guy

who tried this 32-car jump?

Sure, I remember it.
Sure, I do. I was there--

[Jesse]
'Bo!'

[Luke]
'What you don't know'

'is there was
two others before him.'

Now, all three of 'em tried it,
and all three of 'em crashed

because of some
mechanical problem.

Oh, yeah,
and all three of them

had somethin' else
in common, too.

What?

Your lady friend.

Now, Luke, that's
an out and out lie.

You're doin' the lowest thing
I've ever heard of!

Now, Bo.

Hey, Bo, when has Luke
ever lied to you?

Daisy, I can prove it.

Go ahead, Diane.
Go ahead. Tell him.

'Tell him how it is.'

It's not the way it sounds, Bo.

Diane, listen,
I got to do this jump.

Would you please tell them
how it is so I can do it?

Okay. I'll level with you.

I was broke, kind of desperate.

'I needed a driver who could
bring in the local crowds.'

You were it.

That's all I had
in mind, at first.

- Well, what about now?
- Now I know you better.

I've realized
you're somebody special.

Different from the others.

'I really like you, Bo.
I want you to believe that.'

The carnival comes first, right?

I'm afraid so.

And I know you
well enough to realize

you're not gonna take a backseat
to anybody or anything.

Uh, Cooter, let's crank
open that hood there.

'I got a sneakin' suspicion.'

Take a look at that gas line.

Oh, man.

Hey, y'all..

...this here thing's
been cut.

Give me that.

Another hundred feet,
you'd have been dead

on the water, buddy-ro.

Another hundred feet,
I'd be right at the end

of that ramp, now,
wouldn't I, partner?

Those others weren't
accidents, son.

They were attempted murders.

Well, that's impossible.

Who'd want to kill
the star of the show?

Somebody that wanted
to be the star?

Or somebody that had
been the star

and couldn't stand to see
himself being replaced.

Carl.

Hey! Wai-wait a minute!

Hey, hang on, Bo.
Let him do it.

Uhh!

Alright! Climb his frame, Lucas!

[grunts]

Yeah, get up! Come on!

Alright, we got him right there.

[Zimbra]
Better take him away.
I'll file the charges.

Yes, sir, but couldn't it
wait till the jump's over?

Enos! You really think
there's gonna be a jump

after all that's happened?

No, sir. Don't reckon.
Thank goodness.

Oh, Enos! Will you lock him up!

- Just take him and lock him up!
- Yes, sir.

Now, watch him, now.
He's dangerous.

Somebody up there
must really love me!

- Ooh!
- Ooh, ooh, here, here!

- These are the microphones.
- Does this thing still work?

- Say, testing, one, two.
- "Testing, one, two. Whoo!"

[Boss on loudspeaker]
'Fellow citizens
of Hazzard County'

'this is J.D. Hogg.'

'I've just learned..'

Bo, you have to believe me.
I never knew.

[Boss on loudspeaker]
'...pull something
over on you.'

'On account of there ain't
gonna be no 32 car jump.'

[crowd booing]

But don't
you folks fret none.

As county commissioner
I hereby declare

that each and every one of you

is gonna get
your ticket money back.

[booing]

[chuckles]

Hey, well, well, well,
and well, Miss Benson.

I reckon you ain't gonna
have enough money now

to pay the rental
on my Fairgrounds.

Which, according to this
little agreement you signed

entitles me to sell off
your assets to pay your debt.

Boss, it sounds to me

like you're working
some sort of scam

to cheat this little lady
out of her carnival.

Don't tell me you're
gonna stick up for her

after what she done.

Well, listen, Boss,
all she did was let me

make a jackass out of
myself out of my own conceit.

Hey, listen, Luke,
I'm sorry. I..

It's alright.

I just don't want to fight
with you anymore.

Don't worry about it.

- Folks--
- Hey, Boss, give me that.

Listen, y'all don't go nowhere.

Don't go anywhere.

- Hey, Cooter.
- 'Hey, what's up?'

Now, how long
do you suppose it'll take you

to fix that gas line
on the General?

Five minutes
with my eyes closed.

You just wasted
five seconds of 'em.

Well, buddy-ro, Rome, Georgia,
wasn't build in no day.

- I'll get my tools.
- Good idea.

You mean, you're still
willin' to make that jump

after everything
that's happened?

Yep.

I gave you my word,
now, didn't I?

You've got every reason
not to help me.

Yeah, I do, but, uh..

Shoot, Diane, I don't see how
I could love you one minute

and hurt you the next.

Uncle Jesse,
ain't that beautiful?

Yeah. It's stupid,
but it's beautiful.

Well, I guess
it's catchin' then, Uncle Jesse.

Folks, this here is Luke Duke.

'Now, you just sit tight,
'cause Bo's gonna do that jump'

'just like he promised.'

[crowd cheers]

Well, I'm gonna be sittin'
right next to you, cousin.

See, this way, if I co-pilot

he can keep his eyes
on the road, alright?

Luke, I don't know whether
to kiss you or kill you.

So I guess I'm gonna kiss you.

[all laugh]

Hey, Cooter, get
this car out of here.

[instrumental music]

[both]
Yee-haw!

[tires screech]

[Diane on loudspeaker]
'And now,
the Carnival Of Thrills'

'presents the star attraction'

'of this afternoon's
performance'

'Bo and Luke Duke.'

'In a death-defying leap'

'over 32 stacked vehicles'

'in the center of your
Hazzard County arena.'

Well, cousin, I gotta say,
I'm glad I'm here.

I'm glad you're here, too.

[engine revving]

Just keep your eye on that ramp.

Come on.

Come on, Bo,
we need more speed. Come on--

I'm gettin' it! I'm gettin' it!

We need ten more miles an hour.
Come on, Bo!

- We need 65!
- Hang on!

[dramatic music]

[applause]

Ha ha ha! Whoo!

Yeah! Alright, alright!

Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

[cheering continues]

Eatin' time.

There you are, Monsieur Hogg.

The little salad. Hee hee! Here.

- That's for me?
- That's it.

- Needs a little garnish.
- Mmm.

Like this.

[laughing]

[laughing]

- That's nice, isn't it?
- Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

[Balladeer]
Boss decided
to make up for his dieting

with a vengeance.

And that's how
the Carnival of Thrills

left Hazzard,
without its star attraction.

[country music]

I'm sorry, Bo.

It could really
have been wonderful.

Diane, it was wonderful, and..

Wouldn't have missed it
for anything.

Guess it's just like
Uncle Jesse always said.

You, uh, you learn
somethin' new in everythin'.

You take care of yourself.

[Balladeer]
And Bo grew up a little.

And like all growin',
it wasn't without pain.

[Jesse]
There you go, Daisy. Heh heh.

[Balladeer]
And Bo finally got
to eat his victory lunch

of crawdad bisque that Jesse had been savin' for him.

Our father, we thank
thee for bringing

us all back together again.
Amen. Let's eat.

Amen.

[Balladeer]
Like fine wine,
aging only improved it.

- What's wrong?
- Whoo-eee!

Best crawdad bisque
we ever done had!

[all laugh]

Pass the bread.

[Balladeer]
All the Dukes
were finally back together

bonded even closer
by adversity and love.

And I told y'all that this
was a love story, didn't I?

In Hazzard County, we tend to like happy endings.

[theme music]

[Hogg]
Them Dukes! Them dukes!