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1
00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:34,868
Oh, baby. Here we go.
2
00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:36,578
Let the festivities begin.
3
00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:38,222
- How many have we got?
- Well, let's see.
4
00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:41,207
We got 20 cartons,
12 eggs in each.
5
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:42,852
That's got to be like,
20 dozen eggs, right?
6
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,210
Fucking fantastic.
7
00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:46,052
Do you think we're
getting too old for this?
8
00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:48,715
Oh, come on, Johnny, we're
doing a public service here.
9
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:51,468
If a kid leaves the house in
a less than stellar Halloween
10
00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:53,511
costume, he's got
to get the bad news
11
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,638
before he makes a fool
of himself all over town.
12
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:56,890
We're Samaritans.
13
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,183
You remember last year?
14
00:00:58,224 --> 00:00:59,327
Oh, check it out.
There's one.
15
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,269
Hey, nice costume, fuckface!
16
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,188
Ah! What the hell?
17
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:04,582
Hey, what the fuck
are you supposed to be?
18
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:06,691
- I'm the Hulk.
- Yeah, no, you're not.
19
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:07,859
Yes, I am!
20
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,420
The Hulk doesn't
have a fucking picture
21
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,321
of the Hulk on his chest.
22
00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:13,424
Yeah, the Hulk's shirt
doesn't say "The Hulk" on it.
23
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:15,248
Yeah, if you got
to tell us you're the Hulk,
24
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:16,201
it's already a failed narrative.
25
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:17,410
Fuck you.
26
00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:19,204
Ah! You assholes!
27
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:20,789
Hulk angry.
28
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,332
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, whatever, dude.
29
00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:23,750
Hulk smash!
30
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,461
Yeah, go back to Walgreens
and smash there.
31
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,230
Hey, you ever notice how the
Hulk only talks about himself
32
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:29,255
in the third person?
33
00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:30,674
I know.
He's like Bob Dole.
34
00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:31,800
Shit!
35
00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:32,943
All right, how much time we got?
36
00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:34,844
Uh, a couple hours.
37
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:36,304
What do you want to do?
38
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:38,473
- Scary movie?
- Scary movie.
39
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,107
Wait, what the hell?
40
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:48,942
Where's "Texas
Chainsaw Massacre"?
41
00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,068
Hey, hey, Blaire.
42
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,486
Yeah.
43
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:52,963
I thought you were going
to rent scary movies.
44
00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:54,489
I did.
45
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:57,075
Walt Disney's "Watcher
in the Woods," what the fuck?
46
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,285
Chainsaws are lazy and obvious.
47
00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:00,954
This is cerebral.
48
00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:02,872
And it's a really scary movie.
49
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:04,207
Walt Disney?
50
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:06,459
Early '80s Disney,
the dark period.
51
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,461
Oh, what dark period?
It's fucking Disney.
52
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:09,879
You'll be scared.
53
00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:11,691
Oh, come on, I saw "Aladdin,"
and I was fine.
54
00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:15,343
I wasn't sitting there like,
oh, no, fucking Jafar.
55
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:16,988
You know, we're not
kids anymore, Blaire.
56
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,138
Yeah.
57
00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,448
I haven't cried
last four haircuts.
58
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,141
- Yeah.
- I'm using deodorant now.
59
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,559
Yeah, deodorant.
60
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,561
Fine, I dare you to watch it.
61
00:02:24,602 --> 00:02:26,104
See if it doesn't mess you up.
62
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,148
- Fine, sure.
- No problem.
63
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:51,379
- Oh, no.
- No, no, no.
64
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,732
- No, no, no.
- No, no, I don't like this.
65
00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:54,132
- This is not good.
- No.
66
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,675
Nope.
67
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:57,361
Nope, nope, nope, nope,
nope, nope, nope, nope.
68
00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:58,887
Don't like this.
69
00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:01,556
- Come on.
- Oh, stop.
70
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,058
- Come on.
- Stop it.
71
00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:04,225
- Come on.
- Oh, stop it!
72
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,268
- Come on.
- Stop it!
73
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:07,437
- Goddammit!
- Come on!
74
00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:08,563
- What the fuck?
- Come on!
75
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:09,874
Fuck, you're
a piece of shit, Blaire.
76
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:10,940
Oh, my God.
77
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,126
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck.
78
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,360
- Get it off.
- Turn it off.
79
00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:14,670
- Turn it the fuck off.
- Oh, my God.
80
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:15,779
Oh.
81
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,048
I'm never looking
in a mirror again.
82
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:18,656
Me neither, fucking God!
83
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,051
I'm never going
to be able to shave.
84
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:21,284
Yeah.
Thanks, Blaire.
85
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:22,720
Now he's going to have
to grow a mustache.
86
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,096
Oh, that's going to limit
my career choices.
87
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,556
Yeah, he's going to have
to be a cop or a fireman.
88
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,207
- Oh, those are dangerous jobs.
- Yeah.
89
00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:28,375
What if he gets killed?
90
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:29,685
God, Blaire,
you're such a fucker.
91
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,670
Well, next time,
don't be so smug with all
92
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,296
your cocky deodorant talk.
93
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,636
Hello?
94
00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:41,656
Man, mirrors in horror movies
are like a huge red flag.
95
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:42,698
Oh, hey, Sharon.
What's up?
96
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,307
Mirrors and small children
97
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:45,743
pointing at things
that you can't see.
98
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,185
Oh, shit.
Yeah, that's a bad one.
99
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,395
God, are you sure?
100
00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:49,896
Oh, and when the Black guy says,
101
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:51,957
oh, I'll go check out what
the noise is in the basement.
102
00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:53,233
That's always trouble.
103
00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:54,377
Well, thank you for telling me.
104
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,419
Yeah, why does
the Black guy always die?
105
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:56,861
No, it's fine.
I'll figure it out.
106
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,047
Yeah, isn't that kind of racist?
107
00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,572
Seems like it.
108
00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:01,008
They should have only
white people in those movies.
109
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:03,052
Oh, yeah, so then the Black
guys won't get killed.
110
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,220
Yeah, I'll talk to you later.
111
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,638
Blaire, we just came up
with a great way
112
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,247
to make movies less racist.
113
00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:09,082
Sharon is
conscientiously objecting
114
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:12,627
to this costume party tonight,
so I need a designated driver.
115
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,713
- Can you do it?
- Me?
116
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:15,797
No, not tonight.
117
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,465
Yeah, me and Ted
got massive plans.
118
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,717
Well, I can't drive myself.
119
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:19,968
I'll be full of Jell-O shots.
120
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,053
So you have a few drinks,
big deal.
121
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,431
You know what nobody ever talks
about with drunk driving?
122
00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:25,557
How fun it is.
123
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:26,826
John doesn't have
his license yet.
124
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:28,309
- And you--
- It's like a video game.
125
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:30,395
- You owe me.
- For what?
126
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:31,622
I took the heat
went Aunt Suze found
127
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:32,689
the porno you guys rented.
128
00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,566
What do I care?
She's not my mom.
129
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,277
My mom's an 11-year-old kid
in China with arthritis.
130
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:38,611
How do you know that?
131
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,339
Because she sewed a note
in my leg that says
132
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:41,656
she's never had a vegetable.
133
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,575
Come on, Ted.
Please, you got to drive me.
134
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:44,760
It's not a good night, Blaire.
135
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,411
- We got plans.
- Yeah.
136
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,413
Now, I'm going to go shower
and fluff myself,
137
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,165
so I can be
in a confident head space
138
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:51,458
to shame trick-or-treaters.
139
00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:54,627
The cuter I look,
the worse they feel.
140
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,799
♪ Macarena ♪
141
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:02,177
♪ Macarena ♪
142
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,262
♪ Macarena ♪
143
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,806
♪ Hey, Macarena ♪
144
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:09,225
Ah, where's
the goddamn conditioner?
145
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,393
Help me.
146
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:11,603
Ah!
147
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:12,937
Be my designated driver.
148
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,814
Jesus Christ,
Blaire, what the fuck!
149
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:15,857
Well?
150
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:16,959
What the fuck is wrong with you?
151
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,651
- I'm naked.
- You're always naked.
152
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,320
Yeah, but I'm bathroom naked.
153
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,780
I'm washing my bear parts.
154
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,615
Get lost.
155
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,915
- Help me.
- Ah, Jesus Christ!
156
00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:33,249
Drive me to the party.
157
00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,293
I said no.
Stop fucking scaring me.
158
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,586
God!
159
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,105
You can end this
very easily, you know.
160
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:40,340
I will not be blackmailed.
161
00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:45,595
There's nothing like the
scent of the hills of Kilkenny
162
00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:46,846
to make you feel fresh.
163
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:49,516
And we put a bit of that
into every bar
164
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,017
of Irish Spring.
165
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:53,520
This whole ad
campaign is a bluff.
166
00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:54,813
What do you mean?
167
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,290
It's like,
you know who smells good?
168
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:57,607
The Irish.
169
00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:00,652
Yeah, a guy named
Seamus Boyle smells great.
170
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:01,778
Is it warm in here?
171
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,196
Yeah, it is kind of warm.
172
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:05,091
Yeah, it feels like
somebody turned up the heat.
173
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,616
I'm going to check
the thermostat.
174
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,118
- No, wait.
- What?
175
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,327
It's her.
176
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,745
It's fucking Blaire.
177
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,306
You open that door,
she's going to be right there
178
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,581
with that fucking blindfold.
179
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,458
Here, I'll open a window.
180
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:19,379
Help me.
181
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:20,547
Ah!
182
00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:22,674
All right, goddammit!
183
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,719
Forbidden donut.
184
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,597
Well, well, finishing something?
185
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:34,102
Now, remember,
the instant you finish it...
186
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,396
Oh, my God!
187
00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:38,898
You two look so adorable.
188
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,025
Thank you.
189
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,485
All right,
let me guess who you are.
190
00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:46,156
Blaire, you're Batman.
191
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,949
Close, Catwoman.
192
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,367
OK.
193
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,579
And, Ted, you're
Lawrence of Arabia.
194
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:54,372
Yeah, that's exactly right.
195
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,641
All right,
now don't worry, Johnny.
196
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:57,018
I'll be back by 9:00.
Right, Blaire?
197
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,877
- That was the deal.
- Yeah, sure, whatever.
198
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,545
We're going
to miss the first round.
199
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:01,981
Yeah, but that's
just the little kids.
200
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:04,591
We'll have plenty of time
to shame the puberty crowd.
201
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:05,759
Yeah, I guess.
202
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,094
OK, well, we got to go.
203
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,179
All right, you two.
204
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,848
You have a fun time now.
205
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:15,518
Oh, Johnny, don't look so sad.
206
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,521
I have a fun surprise for you.
207
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,023
What is it?
208
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:25,070
I've hidden a Heath bar
somewhere in this house.
209
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,404
Can I get a hint?
210
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,031
Oh, I can't do this to you.
211
00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:29,282
It's in the hamper.
212
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:30,909
I'll go get it.
213
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,934
Blaire!
214
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,811
- Oh, my God.
- You look so good.
215
00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:58,937
You look so good.
216
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:00,105
Oh, you guys look amazing.
217
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,332
- You look amazing.
- Stunning.
218
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:02,482
This is Ted.
219
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,692
Ted, you know Sarah.
220
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,068
- And this is Paige.
- Hey.
221
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:06,569
Hey, Ted.
How's it going?
222
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,696
Hey, how are you?
223
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,072
What's your costume?
224
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,156
Are you a caveman?
225
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:12,492
You ever see
"Return of the Jedi"?
226
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,536
It was kind of a small
independent film,
227
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:15,995
mostly Israeli financed.
228
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,973
Yeah, I don't date men,
so I don't need to learn this.
229
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:20,500
Well, come on, we need
to get you guys wasted.
230
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:24,295
Yes, yes for me, but Ted here
is my designated driver.
231
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,815
Yeah, I'm the guy
that gets to listen
232
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,340
to the Spin Doctors sober.
233
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:29,551
That sucks.
Come on.
234
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:32,512
Hey.
235
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,763
Want a drink?
236
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:35,098
I can't, I'm driving.
237
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,433
Oh, too bad.
238
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:39,394
I always wanted to do a shot
with a teddy bear.
239
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,730
Fuck it, I'm not driving yet.
240
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,069
I always wanted to smoke weed
with a teddy bear.
241
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,738
Sign me up.
242
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:57,203
I always wanted to snort
my ADHD meds with a teddy bear.
243
00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:00,206
If that's a cry for help,
you got the wrong guy.
244
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,248
Yeah!
245
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,712
All righty, kids.
246
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:08,506
You take care now,
and happy Halloween.
247
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,758
Say thank you, kids.
248
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:10,884
Thank you.
249
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:12,385
Oh, you're welcome.
250
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,804
And be careful
of the razor blades, all right?
251
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:17,599
They're everywhere.
252
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,641
Matty.
253
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:19,642
Get the bacitracin.
254
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,144
The bacitra-- why?
255
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:22,437
An ostrich bit me.
256
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,439
- A what?
- A goddamn ostrich!
257
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:27,442
I was installing a fence
for a guy over in Boxford.
258
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:29,611
And he keeps ostriches,
doesn't want them getting
259
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,237
past the property line.
260
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,073
And one of them bit me
on the fucking ass!
261
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:36,368
Wow, I've never seen
an ostrich in person before.
262
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,620
Your job is so interesting.
263
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,580
Susan, will you
help me out here?
264
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,165
I'll get the bacitracin.
265
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:45,126
Yeah, and maybe
we call a moratorium
266
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:47,837
on you sticking Fig Newtons
in my pocket wrapped
267
00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,881
in a little goddamn note!
268
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,819
Hey, Mom,
do we have any more chip--
269
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:15,281
Take a long look, Johnny.
270
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:17,659
This is what life is.
271
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,583
- Cheers, fucksticks.
- Whoo!
272
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,628
Ah.
273
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,547
Hey, you guys want
to see something terrifying?
274
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:31,589
Watch this.
275
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,341
Everybody wave your arms!
276
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:37,095
Everybody jump in the air!
277
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,348
Let's invade Poland!
278
00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:45,270
See that?
That's the Milgram experiment.
279
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,522
That's how it starts,
with dancing.
280
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,441
The dad from "Footloose"
was right.
281
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,068
Oh, shit!
282
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:54,070
It's 8:30.
283
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,488
Blaire, Blaire, it's 8:30.
284
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:56,906
We got to go.
285
00:10:56,948 --> 00:11:00,118
God, I never noticed how
beautiful your hair is.
286
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,370
Does it just naturally
dry like that?
287
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:03,621
Shut the fuck up.
288
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,331
Your hair's the beautiful hair.
289
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:06,541
Wait a minute, are--
290
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:07,751
are you drunk?
291
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,210
I'm just a little--
it's sort of.
292
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:11,338
- It's fine.
- You're fucking drunk!
293
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:12,339
Well, so are you.
294
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,299
Yeah, well, that was the plan.
295
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,217
Sorry.
296
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:19,846
How the hell are we
supposed to get home?
297
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:21,431
You're completely fucked up.
298
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:22,849
It's a straight shot.
299
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:25,810
You take the Neponset Circle,
to 93 South, to 90 West,
300
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,937
to 495 North,
and you just do that U-turn
301
00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:29,165
at the light in front
of the police station,
302
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,440
and you're home.
303
00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:31,959
Yeah, no, I'm not getting
in a car with you.
304
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:33,360
Look, what's done is done.
305
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:35,195
But we both promised
Johnny we'd get me back
306
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,529
in time for egging, all right?
307
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:37,822
I'm fine to drive.
308
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,616
You're not driving
my car drunk, OK?
309
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:40,825
It's-- it's my car.
310
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:41,927
I should be the drunk driver.
311
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,203
All right, fair enough.
312
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,246
I'll help by screaming
out things I see.
313
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,048
Hey, Blaire.
314
00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:57,300
Professor Damon, hi.
315
00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:58,927
- Who's this now?
- How are you?
316
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,845
Good, good.
317
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:01,888
Feeling sharp.
318
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:02,972
Feeling sharp?
319
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:04,015
Shut the fuck up.
320
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,850
I love the Batman costume.
321
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,477
Oh, thanks.
322
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,479
And who's
Lawrence of Arabia here?
323
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:11,189
Ted, talking teddy bear, hi.
324
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,358
Oh, Ted.
Yes, of course.
325
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,068
I remember your story very well.
326
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:16,170
Yeah.
Well, it's nice meeting you.
327
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:17,278
Come on.
Let's go, Blaire.
328
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,030
You in a rush?
329
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,341
Why don't you come up
to the house for a minute?
330
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:21,717
There's something
I'd like to talk to you about.
331
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,118
I just went to the store.
332
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,036
I could whip us up
a little caprese salad.
333
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,579
Yeah, yeah, sure.
334
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,456
I love salad.
335
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:29,767
Whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute, hang on.
336
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,334
Oh, you're invited too, Ted.
337
00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:32,377
See you in a few?
338
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:33,545
Awesome, yeah.
339
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,797
- See you in a few.
- OK.
340
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:37,924
You buttnut!
341
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,718
I promised Johnny
I'd be home by 9:00.
342
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,678
You clearly don't
know who that is.
343
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,431
Yeah, a guy in his 50s riding
a moped, fucking winner.
344
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:47,100
That is Lucas Damon,
my English lit professor.
345
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:49,352
The Lucas Damon
who also happens to be
346
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,604
a "New York Times"
best-selling novelist.
347
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:54,000
Yeah, was the novel about a
guy who couldn't afford a car?
348
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:55,108
Was the guy--
349
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:57,110
no, he's looking
for a student research
350
00:12:57,152 --> 00:12:58,361
assistant for his next book.
351
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,613
Literally everybody
wants this job.
352
00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:02,115
"I love salad."
353
00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:04,117
See, I knew you were lying.
Nobody loves salad.
354
00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:06,244
I do.
I really love salad.
355
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,705
Not one person
on this planet loves salad.
356
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,248
- I do.
- You're on death row.
357
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,417
Your last meal, you can
have a steak or a salad.
358
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,210
- I'm going to choose a salad.
- Fuck you!
359
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:15,295
You're getting a steak.
360
00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:17,130
After what you did
to that family--
361
00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:19,132
the baby's ear was
on the ceiling!
362
00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:20,800
I've been doing
this job 20 years.
363
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:22,427
I never seen
anything so horrible.
364
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,304
- What?
- Oh, Christ, I'm fucked up.
365
00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:26,306
- Yeah, it's good you're driving.
- Eh.
366
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:35,482
My latest work is
a piece of historical fiction
367
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:39,235
that examines race and class
in 19th century New England.
368
00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:41,738
Wow, that sounds incredible.
369
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,239
Hey, great salad, by the way.
370
00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,367
I love that there
are no croutons.
371
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:49,162
It explores the balance
between sociopolitical change
372
00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:51,164
and personal
relationships as seen
373
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:53,166
through the eyes
of a labor organizer
374
00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:54,501
in Martha's Vineyard.
375
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,128
There's a plot twist
that will shock you.
376
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,506
Hey, can I maybe have
a different can of Schweppes
377
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,257
that's not 85 degrees?
378
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:05,095
You know, John Irving
always starts a novel
379
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:08,348
with the last sentence.
380
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:11,017
I like to start
with the second to last.
381
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,519
Would you like to hear it?
382
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,812
Absolutely.
383
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:17,399
The horizon wept
384
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:20,235
as Clara's undraped mortal frame
385
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,696
joined the coiled multitudes,
386
00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:24,698
elation, revolution,
387
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:27,075
a taste of bitter blood.
388
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,869
It's brilliant.
389
00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:32,038
It evokes the best
of James Joyce
390
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,333
without feeling derivative
or overly aureate.
391
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,377
Hey, how'd you
get inside my head?
392
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,463
I'll freshen our drinks.
393
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:43,967
Ted, I'm sure Blaire has warned
you, I'm the fun professor.
394
00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:45,301
OK.
395
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,054
Jesus fucking Christ.
396
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:49,764
- Are you shitting me?
- What?
397
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:50,807
What do you mean, what?
398
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:52,225
We're sitting here wasting time
399
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:53,619
because this fucking horndog
just wants to bang you.
400
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:55,103
Excuse me.
401
00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:56,205
Where the hell are
you getting that?
402
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,148
Oh, my God, Blaire,
it's so obvious.
403
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:00,069
He invites you to his place,
he gets you drunk--
404
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,359
OK, I'm not drunk.
405
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,461
What are you talking about?
406
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:03,903
"I love that there
are no croutons."
407
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,321
Yeah, it's called being polite.
408
00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:06,465
- When did you become--
- You should fucking try it.
409
00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:07,675
anti crouton just
for this buttnut?
410
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,010
I'm trying to make
fucking conversation.
411
00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:10,428
And by the way,
I'm guessing this is
412
00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:12,537
the first time he's
seen you dressed like this,
413
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,330
as opposed
to your usual fashion,
414
00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,392
which is basically Melissa
Ethridge at a flea market.
415
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,126
I know when
I'm being hit on, OK?
416
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:19,645
- I have seven uncles.
- You know what else?
417
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,272
I'm just going to say it,
that salad tastes
418
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:22,922
like Dustin Hoffman's balls.
419
00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:24,382
Here we go, more wine.
420
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:28,094
Or should we be naughty
and start on the cognac?
421
00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:29,387
Yeah.
Listen, we got to go.
422
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,723
I got to take medicine
for my diabetes.
423
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,767
Oh, I'm so sorry.
You have diabetes?
424
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:34,934
Oh, yeah, real bad.
425
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:37,604
Oh. Type 1 or 2?
426
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:40,482
Well, it started
with just one diabete.
427
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:41,941
And then, you know,
left unchecked--
428
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,235
I completely understand.
429
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:47,447
Diabetes killed my mother
and my older sister.
430
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:48,883
Great, thanks for having us.
Come on, Blaire.
431
00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:50,009
Let's get the fuck
out of here, huh?
432
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,117
Pleasure.
433
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,494
As Borges said,
434
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:54,746
"With every goodbye,
you learn."
435
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,289
As Steinbeck said,
436
00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:59,292
"Farewell has
a sweet sound of reluctance.
437
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:01,044
Goodbye is short and final."
438
00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:03,588
As Hemingway said, "I wonder
what this gun tastes like."
439
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,632
All right, come on.
Let's go, huh?
440
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:14,140
Oh, Johnny,
you still look so sad.
441
00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:16,059
It's after 9:00.
442
00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:17,977
Ted promised to be back by now.
443
00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:20,021
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
444
00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:21,731
Well, if you want,
you can help me clean
445
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,483
your father's ostrich bite.
446
00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:24,734
Seriously?
447
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:26,945
That's-- that's
your best offer, Dad's ass?
448
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,446
Oh.
449
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,865
Well, what if you
invited a friend over?
450
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:33,368
In case you haven't noticed,
Ted's my only friend.
451
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:36,246
That lovely new woman
from church, Carol,
452
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:37,789
said she has a son.
453
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,624
I think he's about your age.
454
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,042
I don't care.
455
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:45,171
He's probably growing
into his body just like you.
456
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:46,798
Should I invite him over?
457
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,466
What the fuck? No.
458
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,552
I think I'll call Carol.
459
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:53,763
Why?
460
00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:55,890
Susan, the gauze came off.
461
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,058
It's leaking again.
462
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,727
Susan.
463
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,354
Johnny, meet me in the bathroom
with a T-shirt you don't wear.
464
00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:03,523
Nothing with a decal!
465
00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:12,198
Oh, my God.
Can you fucking watch the road?
466
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,700
- That was a red light.
- I see it.
467
00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:16,411
I just-- I choose not
to let it define me.
468
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:17,871
Pull over.
I'm going to drive.
469
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,164
Fuck that.
470
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,516
You're the one
who was chugging wine
471
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,168
with that professor
of cliterature.
472
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,961
You know, like--
like literature, but like--
473
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:26,105
- Yeah, no.
- With like, a clitoris.
474
00:17:26,129 --> 00:17:27,231
- I know what you mean.
- All right.
475
00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:28,965
Just checking, God.
Jesus Christ.
476
00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:30,967
Yeah, and you're
a fucking moron, by the way.
477
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:32,028
- You know that?
- I'm a moron?
478
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,178
Why am I a moron?
479
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,280
That man is a brilliant writer.
480
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:35,638
And what are you?
481
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,158
A deadbeat teddy bear
with a drug problem.
482
00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:39,059
Hey, at least
I have a drug problem.
483
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,393
Wait, what?
Sorry.
484
00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:41,728
Fuck.
I'm really fucked up, man.
485
00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:43,688
Great, well, you know,
maybe then you can
486
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,370
acknowledge the fact
that you have no idea
487
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,566
what you're talking about.
488
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:47,752
Look, will you just
shut up and drive?
489
00:17:47,776 --> 00:17:48,818
You're driving!
490
00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,946
Oh, fuck!
491
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,626
OK, that was a red light.
492
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,801
Hey, honey, I'm home.
493
00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:15,053
Ow!
494
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:17,430
I told you to get
the salted crackers.
495
00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:20,308
Johnny, come on downstairs!
496
00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:24,270
Oh!
497
00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:30,735
John, this is Will, the boy
I was telling you about.
498
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,445
Yo, yo, yo.
499
00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:36,449
Will's also looking for
something to do on Halloween.
500
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,660
- Oh.
- John needs a friend tonight.
501
00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:42,205
He's upset because
his teddy bear's not here.
502
00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:43,623
That's cool, man.
503
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:46,084
Wow, this place
is like a mansion.
504
00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:48,878
I'm going to go make
you boys some spooky cookies.
505
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,588
- Oh.
- Boo.
506
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,758
I'll take a lamb chop, though.
507
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,343
If you got one,
just get it going.
508
00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:56,511
I'll take it.
509
00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:59,305
It's-- so what do you wanna do?
510
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:00,682
How old are you?
511
00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:01,933
38.
512
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,393
I live with my mom by choice.
513
00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:05,729
- Uh-huh.
- A little bit about myself.
514
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:08,732
I work in quality control
at General Mills.
515
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,817
I inspect every batch
of breakfast cereal.
516
00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:13,987
I'm the last line of defense
between your mouth
517
00:19:14,029 --> 00:19:15,613
and rat feces.
518
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,323
I-- I hope
you're good at your job.
519
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,743
I'm not.
Stop eating cereal.
520
00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:22,037
What else is there?
521
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,997
I own every Steely Dan album.
522
00:19:24,039 --> 00:19:25,582
I'm an expert dungeon master.
523
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:27,625
I dabble in animal husbandry.
524
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,086
I guess what I'm
trying to say, Johnny,
525
00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:34,007
is you can have it all.
526
00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:36,009
You want a Zima?
527
00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:37,427
A Zi-- no, I'm good.
528
00:19:37,469 --> 00:19:38,887
You want to look at some porn?
529
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,096
You got porn?
530
00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:41,514
Fuck yeah, I got porn.
531
00:19:41,556 --> 00:19:43,391
Here, check this out.
532
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:47,896
These are drawings.
533
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:49,439
Yeah.
534
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:53,860
This is-- this is
porn that you drew.
535
00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:56,529
Yeah, my mom won't let me
look at the real stuff
536
00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:58,865
because of the cigarette ads,
so...
537
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:02,243
- Why-- why are they all--
- Oh, I can't do hands.
538
00:20:02,285 --> 00:20:03,912
- Oh.
- So...
539
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:06,390
You know what
the weirdest part is, man?
540
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,917
Now when a girl has hands,
I hate it.
541
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:13,380
Is that Winona Ryder
fucking Lion-O?
542
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:15,006
That is Winona Ryder
fuck-- yeah.
543
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,591
I gave her a ton of bush.
544
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,593
I doubt she has
that much bush in real life,
545
00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:20,845
but that's the beauty
of art, right?
546
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,555
It can be anything
we imagine it to be.
547
00:20:22,597 --> 00:20:24,724
His dick is a sword.
548
00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:26,935
You'll never guess
what his sword is.
549
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,521
- Is it a dick?
- A dick.
550
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,898
- Yeah.
- It's a dick.
551
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:33,733
This one gets me so good.
552
00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:35,944
Do you ever look
at one that gets you good?
553
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:38,363
Not a drawing, but not--
554
00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:39,739
not before this.
555
00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:41,008
Then you're not doing it right.
556
00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:43,284
- Oh.
- Give them back.
557
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:47,622
Oh, I can't fucking
believe you just did that!
558
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:49,708
I'm not even halfway done
with payments on this car.
559
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,668
Jesus, you paid for this car?
560
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:53,670
Oh, shut up.
It's a great car.
561
00:20:53,712 --> 00:20:55,755
Oh, my God, Blaire,
there's a kid in the grill!
562
00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:57,465
- What?
- I'm just kidding.
563
00:20:57,507 --> 00:20:58,550
Look at your face.
564
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,010
Motherfucker!
565
00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:02,429
Yeah, but see, now real life
ain't so bad, right?
566
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,139
No, no, we gotta get this thing
567
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:05,432
towed before the cops show up.
568
00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,600
Oh, because we've been drinking.
569
00:21:07,642 --> 00:21:09,704
Yes, Isaac Newton, because
we've been fucking drinking.
570
00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:10,955
Well, wait a minute,
why don't we
571
00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:12,397
just tell the cops
that we started
572
00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:13,815
drinking after we crashed?
573
00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:15,292
Right, we were so pissed
about the crash,
574
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:16,860
that we had nine beers.
575
00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,611
You know,
that's actually a great idea.
576
00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:19,779
- Really?
- Yeah.
577
00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:21,448
I think you just
solved drunk driving.
578
00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:23,533
- I did, didn't I?
- No, you dipshit.
579
00:21:23,575 --> 00:21:25,326
We gotta go find a phone.
580
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:33,460
Well, what'd they say?
581
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:35,962
Uh, they said phone
is for employees only.
582
00:21:36,004 --> 00:21:39,299
Also, get the fuck out
of the kitchen, you drunk.
583
00:21:39,341 --> 00:21:40,467
- Shit.
- Yeah.
584
00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:42,344
Here, I stole you an apple pie.
585
00:21:42,385 --> 00:21:44,763
- Oh, thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
586
00:21:46,181 --> 00:21:47,450
Well, you know, I don't know why
587
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:49,184
I always think
you're not white trash
588
00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:50,286
like the rest of the family.
589
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,478
Fuck you.
590
00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:52,562
Because you are.
591
00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:54,230
OK, just eat it.
592
00:21:54,272 --> 00:21:56,775
Careful, McDonald's apple
pies are always a little hot.
593
00:21:57,776 --> 00:21:59,819
- Oh, Jesus Christ!
- Ah, God!
594
00:21:59,861 --> 00:22:01,529
- Why the fuck do they do that?
- Ah, God!
595
00:22:01,571 --> 00:22:02,864
I don't know.
596
00:22:06,951 --> 00:22:09,037
It's probably cooled off
by now, though.
597
00:22:09,079 --> 00:22:10,246
Oh, goddammit!
598
00:22:10,288 --> 00:22:12,374
Oh!
599
00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:17,545
This fucking goddamn night.
600
00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:29,808
Maybe we can call a cab.
601
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,727
I don't have any cash,
and you don't have any pockets.
602
00:22:32,769 --> 00:22:35,563
We've got to find
a payphone and call home.
603
00:22:38,191 --> 00:22:39,693
Hello?
604
00:22:39,734 --> 00:22:40,920
Will you accept
a collect call from this--
605
00:22:40,944 --> 00:22:42,821
No.
606
00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:45,031
Shit.
607
00:22:45,073 --> 00:22:46,241
Oh.
608
00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:49,536
All right, just let me
think for a second.
609
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:51,913
OK, look, we're not
too far from campus.
610
00:22:51,955 --> 00:22:54,582
Why don't we just walk back
and use Damon's phone?
611
00:22:54,624 --> 00:22:55,667
That pervert?
612
00:22:55,709 --> 00:22:57,168
- What?
- Fuck no.
613
00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:58,420
Why not?
I mean--
614
00:22:58,461 --> 00:22:59,814
Because he's probably
back there right now
615
00:22:59,838 --> 00:23:02,173
boiling the cushion you sat on
to make soup stock.
616
00:23:02,215 --> 00:23:03,734
Well, you want
to get home in time or not?
617
00:23:03,758 --> 00:23:05,385
Blaire, I know
you don't see it, OK,
618
00:23:05,427 --> 00:23:06,553
but I don't trust that guy.
619
00:23:06,594 --> 00:23:08,388
- Oh, my God.
- I don't trust him.
620
00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:10,932
I think he's got one thing
on his mind, filthy doings.
621
00:23:10,974 --> 00:23:14,144
OK, look, I get your concern
for me, or whatever,
622
00:23:14,185 --> 00:23:15,562
but I'm an adult, OK?
623
00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:16,938
I can take care of myself.
624
00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:18,898
Blaire, have you ever
seen an old man penis?
625
00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:21,651
It's like a melted pint
of coffee ice cream.
626
00:23:21,693 --> 00:23:23,570
There's a sadness to it,
almost like it
627
00:23:23,611 --> 00:23:25,071
remembers how it used to look.
628
00:23:25,113 --> 00:23:27,365
I mean, it looks like--
like it's trying to hide,
629
00:23:27,407 --> 00:23:28,575
but it's too tired.
630
00:23:28,616 --> 00:23:29,885
No, no.
You know what it looks like?
631
00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:31,453
It looks like Bert Lahr
when he took
632
00:23:31,494 --> 00:23:34,164
off the Cowardly Lion suit
but he still had the makeup on.
633
00:23:34,205 --> 00:23:36,332
It's-- oh, shit.
634
00:23:36,374 --> 00:23:38,668
What was the last one you heard?
635
00:23:40,295 --> 00:23:43,423
Let's put on our costumes
that we made last night.
636
00:23:43,465 --> 00:23:45,800
OK.
637
00:23:53,725 --> 00:23:56,144
You like movies?
638
00:23:56,186 --> 00:23:57,604
Yeah.
639
00:23:57,645 --> 00:24:00,440
I got a VHS of rodeo
deaths we could watch.
640
00:24:00,482 --> 00:24:01,566
Rodeo deaths?
641
00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:02,942
Yeah.
642
00:24:02,984 --> 00:24:04,628
You know, there's
something about real death.
643
00:24:04,652 --> 00:24:08,615
Just like-- it just
turns you on, you know?
644
00:24:08,656 --> 00:24:10,784
Why is that for all of us?
645
00:24:10,825 --> 00:24:13,078
I-- I honestly can't
answer that question.
646
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,456
I'm totally fucking with you.
647
00:24:16,498 --> 00:24:17,832
Oh.
648
00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:20,001
Seriously though,
I do have the tape.
649
00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:22,921
We could take off our shirts,
just watch it together.
650
00:24:24,047 --> 00:24:26,508
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe next time.
651
00:24:26,549 --> 00:24:29,719
I'm fucking with you again.
652
00:24:29,761 --> 00:24:31,471
Oh, my God.
You were about to do it.
653
00:24:31,513 --> 00:24:33,515
- No, no, I wasn't.
- You were.
654
00:24:33,556 --> 00:24:34,909
Your shirt's like,
halfway off already.
655
00:24:34,933 --> 00:24:36,494
- No, it's fucking not.
- Nah, it could be though.
656
00:24:36,518 --> 00:24:38,436
We could have it off
if we wanted to.
657
00:24:38,478 --> 00:24:40,021
- You know what's great?
- What?
658
00:24:40,063 --> 00:24:41,731
- Crack.
- Ah.
659
00:24:41,773 --> 00:24:42,875
You know how,
like, someone's like,
660
00:24:42,899 --> 00:24:43,983
oh, I like chocolate cake.
661
00:24:44,025 --> 00:24:45,819
It's so good, it's like crack.
662
00:24:46,903 --> 00:24:48,655
This is actually crack.
663
00:24:48,697 --> 00:24:50,240
Gets a lot of bad press.
664
00:24:50,281 --> 00:24:52,784
Gotta tell you,
furthest thing from whack.
665
00:24:52,826 --> 00:24:55,161
Yeah, I'll pass on that.
Thanks.
666
00:24:55,203 --> 00:24:56,454
Oh.
667
00:24:56,496 --> 00:24:58,456
Picking up a little bit
of a judgy vibe there.
668
00:24:58,498 --> 00:24:59,457
Yeah, it's crack.
669
00:24:59,499 --> 00:25:00,667
Uh, OK.
670
00:25:00,709 --> 00:25:01,978
I bet you have
some idiosyncrasies
671
00:25:02,002 --> 00:25:03,503
I might find a little odd.
672
00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:07,173
I don't think crack, like,
counts as an idiosyncrasy.
673
00:25:07,215 --> 00:25:08,675
Can I use your phone?
674
00:25:08,717 --> 00:25:10,319
Yeah, yeah, there's one
right over there.
675
00:25:10,343 --> 00:25:12,029
Yeah, so I just want
to sleep in tomorrow,
676
00:25:12,053 --> 00:25:14,764
so I'm just going to call in
a bomb scare to my office.
677
00:25:29,738 --> 00:25:31,239
Well, look who's back.
678
00:25:31,281 --> 00:25:32,615
Us again.
679
00:25:32,657 --> 00:25:34,743
Hey, is it Halloween
or is it Christmas?
680
00:25:35,994 --> 00:25:38,079
- Come on in.
- Thank you.
681
00:25:41,416 --> 00:25:42,792
Phone's still busy.
682
00:25:42,834 --> 00:25:44,228
What the fuck is
going on over there?
683
00:25:44,252 --> 00:25:46,546
Johnny's probably freaking
out wondering where I am.
684
00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:48,715
Professor Damon, we're so sorry
685
00:25:48,757 --> 00:25:50,050
to inconvenience you like this.
686
00:25:50,091 --> 00:25:52,761
Not at all.
I'm happy for the company.
687
00:25:52,802 --> 00:25:54,596
Say, as long
as I've got you here,
688
00:25:54,637 --> 00:25:55,906
there's something
I'd like to show you.
689
00:25:55,930 --> 00:25:57,182
Oh, God.
Here it comes.
690
00:25:57,223 --> 00:25:58,951
Just stare at the balls.
It'll be better that way.
691
00:25:58,975 --> 00:26:03,730
It's the opening chapter
of my next book.
692
00:26:03,772 --> 00:26:06,399
Just finished it yesterday.
693
00:26:06,441 --> 00:26:08,109
Would you like to read it?
694
00:26:08,151 --> 00:26:10,570
Oh, my God.
I'd be honored.
695
00:26:10,612 --> 00:26:11,738
Fabulous.
696
00:26:11,780 --> 00:26:13,365
Don't let the typos throw you.
697
00:26:13,406 --> 00:26:15,241
He's a dyslexic narrator.
698
00:26:15,283 --> 00:26:17,077
Ted, why don't you
and I play some
699
00:26:17,118 --> 00:26:20,955
billiards while I nervously
await Blaire's verdict?
700
00:26:31,549 --> 00:26:33,051
Welcome to my billiard room.
701
00:26:33,093 --> 00:26:35,470
All right, buddy, you and me
got to have a little talk.
702
00:26:35,512 --> 00:26:36,721
I'd love to.
703
00:26:36,763 --> 00:26:38,598
How about I freshen
your drink first?
704
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,767
Fine.
705
00:27:11,339 --> 00:27:13,133
Whoops.
706
00:27:15,510 --> 00:27:17,345
Hello, Ted.
707
00:27:20,390 --> 00:27:25,812
Uh, what-- what's
going on there, buddy?
708
00:27:25,854 --> 00:27:29,232
I want to make love to you.
709
00:27:29,274 --> 00:27:31,067
Oh.
710
00:27:31,109 --> 00:27:35,488
I believe forthright honesty
is the only approach when you
711
00:27:35,530 --> 00:27:37,907
have feelings for somebody.
712
00:27:42,829 --> 00:27:44,914
I've been waiting all my life
for someone like you.
713
00:27:44,956 --> 00:27:50,003
Your furry curves,
your boundless whimsy.
714
00:27:50,045 --> 00:27:52,839
It-- it has bounds.
715
00:27:52,881 --> 00:27:54,466
I've been going crazy since you
716
00:27:54,507 --> 00:27:56,718
walked out my door tonight.
717
00:27:56,760 --> 00:28:00,180
I want us to have illicit
congress together.
718
00:28:00,221 --> 00:28:03,350
You know,
Blaire is really into you.
719
00:28:03,391 --> 00:28:05,185
I don't care.
720
00:28:05,226 --> 00:28:06,519
It's you I want.
721
00:28:06,561 --> 00:28:07,979
Yeah, I--
722
00:28:08,021 --> 00:28:09,606
I don't date other bears.
723
00:28:09,647 --> 00:28:11,107
I don't have to be a bear.
724
00:28:11,149 --> 00:28:12,692
I could be a pony if you prefer,
725
00:28:12,734 --> 00:28:16,196
or a bird with colorful plumage
and a functioning cloaca.
726
00:28:16,237 --> 00:28:18,823
Yeah, boy, you know,
it just wouldn't work out.
727
00:28:18,865 --> 00:28:20,492
I don't care what
people would think.
728
00:28:20,533 --> 00:28:23,453
If I could take you
on my arm to faculty events,
729
00:28:23,495 --> 00:28:25,038
I wouldn't be embarrassed.
730
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:29,042
Yeah, that's not
the holdup for me.
731
00:28:29,084 --> 00:28:31,044
I see.
732
00:28:31,086 --> 00:28:33,505
So your answer is no.
733
00:28:33,546 --> 00:28:36,424
Hey, Professor, do you mind
if I use your bathr--
734
00:28:37,759 --> 00:28:39,427
Blaire.
735
00:28:40,512 --> 00:28:43,932
Any thoughts about
the pages you read?
736
00:28:46,142 --> 00:28:48,561
Great.
737
00:28:48,603 --> 00:28:50,772
Uh, they-- they were great.
738
00:28:50,814 --> 00:28:52,649
And the homage to Tennyson?
739
00:28:52,691 --> 00:28:54,776
Did that play it all?
740
00:28:54,818 --> 00:28:58,029
Uh, fine.
741
00:29:01,074 --> 00:29:03,493
We'll let ourselves out.
742
00:29:07,288 --> 00:29:09,082
Hey.
743
00:29:09,124 --> 00:29:12,627
You know, if we could just
kind of keep this quiet.
744
00:29:12,669 --> 00:29:16,756
I have a reputation
as a guy who doesn't do this.
745
00:29:16,798 --> 00:29:18,341
Sure, of course.
746
00:29:18,383 --> 00:29:21,011
On one condition,
you make Blaire
747
00:29:21,052 --> 00:29:22,929
your research assistant.
748
00:29:22,971 --> 00:29:24,180
That's OK, Ted.
749
00:29:24,222 --> 00:29:25,432
No, no.
No, no, Blaire, no.
750
00:29:25,473 --> 00:29:27,267
You're wicked smart.
You work hard.
751
00:29:27,308 --> 00:29:28,977
- You deserve it.
- He's right, Blaire.
752
00:29:29,019 --> 00:29:30,437
You've got a great
analytical mind.
753
00:29:30,478 --> 00:29:32,689
I'm going to have
to sleep on that.
754
00:29:32,731 --> 00:29:35,775
Oh, and one more thing,
we're going to need your bike.
755
00:29:46,578 --> 00:29:48,288
Oh. Hi, Johnny.
756
00:29:48,329 --> 00:29:51,124
You want to feel
some spooky eyeballs?
757
00:29:54,669 --> 00:29:55,962
I'm just kidding.
758
00:29:56,004 --> 00:29:58,465
They're just peeled grapes.
759
00:29:58,506 --> 00:30:00,467
Oh, I'd never really
hurt anyone, Johnny.
760
00:30:00,508 --> 00:30:02,594
Mom, I cannot take
this guy anymore.
761
00:30:02,635 --> 00:30:03,845
What's the matter?
762
00:30:03,887 --> 00:30:06,139
Will, OK?
He's-- he's a freak.
763
00:30:06,181 --> 00:30:07,974
He's crazy.
Can't you get him to leave?
764
00:30:08,016 --> 00:30:10,143
Well, he's your friend, Johnny.
765
00:30:10,185 --> 00:30:12,479
If you want him to leave,
you'll have to ask him.
766
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:13,688
He's not my friend.
767
00:30:13,730 --> 00:30:16,191
You invited him over.
Plus, he's like 40.
768
00:30:16,232 --> 00:30:19,027
Well, I'm 47, and we're friends.
769
00:30:19,069 --> 00:30:20,153
Yeah, you're my mom.
770
00:30:20,195 --> 00:30:22,322
Even when you were
still in my guts
771
00:30:22,364 --> 00:30:25,950
you used to kick my cervix, but
I knew it was you just saying,
772
00:30:25,992 --> 00:30:30,288
hi, I can't wait
to come out and be friends.
773
00:30:31,456 --> 00:30:34,292
Yeah, yeah.
Fine, I'll do it.
774
00:30:36,419 --> 00:30:39,673
Yeah, yeah.
775
00:30:39,714 --> 00:30:41,841
Oh, my God.
776
00:30:41,883 --> 00:30:44,010
Oh, no, no, no.
777
00:30:44,052 --> 00:30:45,679
- All right.
- Will?
778
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:46,846
You in there?
779
00:30:46,888 --> 00:30:48,264
Yeah, come on in.
780
00:30:48,306 --> 00:30:50,975
Oh, I cannot
believe we're taking
781
00:30:51,017 --> 00:30:52,477
a bath at the same time.
782
00:30:52,519 --> 00:30:54,854
You know, it's like
we're taking a bath together.
783
00:30:54,896 --> 00:30:57,315
All right, I got to go.
784
00:30:57,357 --> 00:30:59,693
But I'll-- I'll talk
to you later, Dad.
785
00:30:59,734 --> 00:31:00,860
I love you.
786
00:31:00,902 --> 00:31:02,696
I love-- ah.
787
00:31:02,737 --> 00:31:03,988
Didn't get him.
788
00:31:04,030 --> 00:31:05,615
What the fuck, dude?
789
00:31:05,657 --> 00:31:06,825
What the fuck what?
790
00:31:06,866 --> 00:31:08,535
Who just comes over
to somebody's house
791
00:31:08,576 --> 00:31:09,661
and gets in their tub?
792
00:31:09,703 --> 00:31:11,538
Uh, I do.
793
00:31:11,579 --> 00:31:13,373
It's called making
the most out of life.
794
00:31:13,415 --> 00:31:16,918
Some people wait for an invite
to the party, I start it.
795
00:31:19,254 --> 00:31:22,257
I seize the moment, Johnny.
796
00:31:22,298 --> 00:31:25,593
You see, perfect example,
you've been a drip all night.
797
00:31:25,635 --> 00:31:28,013
Guess what?
I've had a killer evening.
798
00:31:28,054 --> 00:31:29,806
You've been all sad.
Why?
799
00:31:29,848 --> 00:31:31,075
Because your teddy bear is gone?
800
00:31:31,099 --> 00:31:32,350
That's not how you do life.
801
00:31:32,392 --> 00:31:34,644
You got to grab
every chance you can
802
00:31:34,686 --> 00:31:37,230
to make your own happiness.
803
00:31:37,272 --> 00:31:39,399
Why is the water black?
804
00:31:39,441 --> 00:31:42,902
Carpe diem, Johnny, carpe diem.
805
00:31:42,944 --> 00:31:47,615
When you see a chance to turn
your day around, grab it!
806
00:31:48,908 --> 00:31:50,744
All right.
807
00:31:50,785 --> 00:31:52,537
Now, I'm going to take a hike.
808
00:31:52,579 --> 00:31:56,041
Hey, you ever need me,
809
00:31:56,082 --> 00:31:58,793
you scratch
my name into your arm.
810
00:31:58,835 --> 00:32:00,670
And you'll show up?
811
00:32:00,712 --> 00:32:01,921
I don't know.
812
00:32:01,963 --> 00:32:03,590
Never tried it.
813
00:32:16,853 --> 00:32:18,146
Hi, Matty.
814
00:32:18,188 --> 00:32:19,606
What do you want?
815
00:32:19,647 --> 00:32:22,192
Hey, listen, I felt
really bad about Clementine
816
00:32:22,233 --> 00:32:23,485
giving you that bite.
817
00:32:23,526 --> 00:32:26,112
And I wanted
to make it up to you.
818
00:32:27,113 --> 00:32:28,156
Eggs?
819
00:32:28,198 --> 00:32:29,366
Ostrich eggs.
820
00:32:29,407 --> 00:32:31,326
Each one is about
24 chicken eggs.
821
00:32:31,368 --> 00:32:33,095
What the hell am I
supposed to do with these?
822
00:32:33,119 --> 00:32:34,704
I don't know 24 people.
823
00:32:34,746 --> 00:32:39,084
Carpe diem, Johnny, carpe diem.
824
00:32:39,125 --> 00:32:44,005
When you see a chance to turn
your day around, grab it.
825
00:32:44,047 --> 00:32:45,882
You know what's great?
826
00:32:45,924 --> 00:32:47,467
Crack.
827
00:32:47,509 --> 00:32:49,469
Hey, Dad.
828
00:32:58,603 --> 00:33:00,355
Hey, nice robot costume.
829
00:33:00,397 --> 00:33:03,274
Those the boxes
your dad used to move out?
830
00:33:03,316 --> 00:33:05,068
Hey, who are you?
The Dork Knight?
831
00:33:05,110 --> 00:33:06,820
I'm Batman!
832
00:33:06,861 --> 00:33:08,113
Ow!
What the fuck?
833
00:33:08,154 --> 00:33:09,364
You asshole!
834
00:33:09,406 --> 00:33:11,157
Hey, hey, who are
you supposed to be?
835
00:33:11,199 --> 00:33:13,827
Olympic figure
skater Scott Hamilton.
836
00:33:13,868 --> 00:33:15,829
Oh, man, you're going
to have enough trouble.
837
00:33:15,870 --> 00:33:17,455
Keep moving.
838
00:33:23,044 --> 00:33:24,337
Oh, hey, ET!
839
00:33:24,379 --> 00:33:26,381
Take this,
you Reese's piece of shit.
840
00:33:32,887 --> 00:33:34,014
Oh, crap.
841
00:33:34,055 --> 00:33:36,099
What the fuck?
842
00:33:36,141 --> 00:33:37,517
Oh, my God.
843
00:33:37,559 --> 00:33:39,269
Is this what we've
been doing to people?
844
00:33:39,310 --> 00:33:41,021
We were wrong, Johnny.
845
00:33:41,062 --> 00:33:42,647
We were wrong!
846
00:33:44,566 --> 00:33:46,860
Hey, listen, man,
I'm really sorry I
847
00:33:46,901 --> 00:33:48,111
didn't get back in time.
848
00:33:48,153 --> 00:33:49,320
But you know what?
849
00:33:49,362 --> 00:33:50,613
I think it was for the best.
850
00:33:50,655 --> 00:33:51,865
Me too.
851
00:33:51,906 --> 00:33:53,384
I mean, it was kind
of nice to see if I could
852
00:33:53,408 --> 00:33:54,993
actually have fun on my own.
853
00:33:55,035 --> 00:33:56,786
That sounds healthy,
like growth.
854
00:33:56,828 --> 00:33:58,788
Yeah, it felt like growth.
855
00:33:58,830 --> 00:33:59,998
You grew.
856
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:01,207
You grew tonight.
857
00:34:01,249 --> 00:34:02,709
I really did.
858
00:34:02,751 --> 00:34:03,793
So how was your night?
859
00:34:03,835 --> 00:34:05,670
I was almost raped
by a professor.
860
00:34:05,712 --> 00:34:07,380
But now I got a moped,
so it's fine.
861
00:34:07,422 --> 00:34:08,798
Well, now that we know for sure
862
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:11,634
that we can exist on our own,
let's never do it again.
863
00:34:11,676 --> 00:34:13,386
Oh, fuck no.
I was dying out there.
864
00:34:13,428 --> 00:34:14,947
- Do you want to get high?
- Absolutely.
865
00:34:14,971 --> 00:34:17,682
Wait. No, not yet.
866
00:34:17,724 --> 00:34:20,352
There's one more thing
I got to do tonight.
867
00:34:40,163 --> 00:34:41,790
- Help me.
- Oh, my God!
868
00:34:41,831 --> 00:34:43,124
Jesus Christ!
869
00:34:43,166 --> 00:34:44,417
You scared the shit out of me.
870
00:34:44,459 --> 00:34:46,628
Got you, motherfucker.
871
00:34:46,670 --> 00:34:48,129
Oh, damn.
872
00:34:48,171 --> 00:34:50,799
You know, Blaire, there
873
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,092
actually is something I--
874
00:34:52,133 --> 00:34:54,219
I came here to tell you.
875
00:34:54,260 --> 00:34:55,929
OK.
876
00:34:55,970 --> 00:34:58,348
You know, me and Johnny
always think you're like,
877
00:34:58,390 --> 00:35:01,976
this buzzkill,
but tonight was kind of fun.
878
00:35:02,018 --> 00:35:04,229
You're kind of fucking fun.
879
00:35:04,270 --> 00:35:07,107
Well, I got to admit, I--
880
00:35:07,148 --> 00:35:08,775
I kind of had fun too.
881
00:35:08,817 --> 00:35:11,277
I mean, the towing
cost me $80, and I still
882
00:35:11,319 --> 00:35:13,822
don't have a fucking car,
but for what it's worth,
883
00:35:13,863 --> 00:35:16,950
I really do appreciate you
trying to look out for me,
884
00:35:16,991 --> 00:35:18,702
even if you were wrong.
885
00:35:18,743 --> 00:35:21,204
Oh, by the way,
I got something for you.
886
00:35:23,623 --> 00:35:25,291
This is for you.
887
00:35:26,167 --> 00:35:27,711
A McDonald's apple pie?
888
00:35:27,752 --> 00:35:28,753
Yeah, yeah.
889
00:35:28,795 --> 00:35:30,964
I was saving it,
but it's all yours.
890
00:35:31,006 --> 00:35:32,483
I've had it in the freezer
for two months,
891
00:35:32,507 --> 00:35:35,635
so it's probably
cooled off by now.
892
00:35:35,677 --> 00:35:36,821
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, shit, oh, shit.
893
00:35:36,845 --> 00:35:37,989
Get a towel.
Get something to cover it.
894
00:35:38,013 --> 00:35:39,305
- Get a wet towel.
- I am.
895
00:35:39,347 --> 00:35:40,366
Oh, my God, We're gonna
lose the fucking house!
896
00:35:40,390 --> 00:35:41,516
We're all going to die!
897
00:35:45,061 --> 00:35:46,312
Can I help you?
898
00:35:46,354 --> 00:35:48,023
Hey, I'm Carol's son.
899
00:35:48,064 --> 00:35:49,357
I just got home from a party.
900
00:35:49,399 --> 00:35:50,501
My mom told me
to come here and hang out
901
00:35:50,525 --> 00:35:52,068
with somebody named John.
902
00:35:52,110 --> 00:35:53,862
Wait, you're Carol's son?
62852
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